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(Warwick Daily News (Australia))   You may be with the wrong girl if you have to fap alone in the shower. Especially if she then kicks in the shower door, catches you, smashes the TV, and attacks your mom to keep her from calling the cops   (warwickdailynews.com.au) divider line 155
    More: Scary, showers  
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11092 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 1:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 08:46:14 AM
Wtf happened to this thread?
 
2013-02-12 08:58:14 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-12 09:21:17 AM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 09:32:34 AM

Kiradikash: *masturbating...not mastirbation.

/darn stupid keyboard on a stupid touch screen phone with NO pull out keyboard.


Heh. Pull out.
 
2013-02-12 09:36:14 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Hey @everybody I'm gonna go finger my asshole with a thimble while my cat watches, brb


You should make sure the thimble is securely fastened. Or prepare to go searching for treasure.
 
2013-02-12 09:37:05 AM
I think I divorced her....
Wondered where she went.
 
2013-02-12 09:42:23 AM

poot_rootbeer: I admit it, I use different fap techniques when my girl is watching me than when I'm on my own.  Big Fist Style feels great, but it's not very interesting to look at.

Also, never in the shower, because hot water + spunke + knuckle hair is a bad combination, as is shampoo + peehole.


Wash your hands and junk after you're done with soap and suddenly no more stuck knuckle hairs. With an added bonus of being less nasty. As for shampoo hurting your pee hole. Grow a pair? I've never heard this complaint before. Maybe some tear free baby shampoo so you don't hurt your one eyed monster. Or duct tape.
 
2013-02-12 09:44:22 AM

ciberido: WhyKnot: WTF is with all the "@blah blah blah"???

Do people not see the "reply" button???

Is this a hip new way to reference prior comments? Nevermind, I probably wouldn't understand.

To reply.


Damn it, its spreading. I knew that farker was contagious.
 
2013-02-12 09:44:40 AM
After a year-long period when things had been "okay" in the relationship, the couple began to argue over parenting issues, finances and the man's lack of help around the house.

But it sounded like he was doing stuff around the house on his own
 
2013-02-12 09:50:07 AM

Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: As for shampoo hurting your pee hole. Grow a pair? I've never heard this complaint before.


Prolonged exposure to soap can wear out all of the natural oils in the skin that need to remain.  Dry and flaky penis is absolutely NO fun.  A pee-hole that's similarly dried out can be excruciating during urination(and even dormant if it's bad) until it heals.

Add to that the repeated tugging, working that soap even deeper into the skin, and you can end up with a cracked and bleeding penis.

Of course, if you're a 3 pump marvel, you probably don't need to worry and have never had issues with it.
 
2013-02-12 10:32:32 AM
www.filmedge.net

JCVD, you get one woman talking about masturbating on Fark and the whole world goes to hell.
 
2013-02-12 10:46:57 AM

omeganuepsilon: Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: As for shampoo hurting your pee hole. Grow a pair? I've never heard this complaint before.

Prolonged exposure to soap can wear out all of the natural oils in the skin that need to remain.  Dry and flaky penis is absolutely NO fun.  A pee-hole that's similarly dried out can be excruciating during urination(and even dormant if it's bad) until it heals.

Add to that the repeated tugging, working that soap even deeper into the skin, and you can end up with a cracked and bleeding penis.

Of course, if you're a 3 pump marvel, you probably don't need to worry and have never had issues with it.


Jesus I wish I could get off quickly. And I never said jerk off with soap, I said wash up after so you don't have cum covered knuckles. Which is basic hygiene, genius. As for shampoo, yea if you are stupid enough to jerk off with it I'm sure it can burn. However if you are such a Pansy that washing your hair hurts ur cock, go ahead and get the surgery to remove it.
 
2013-02-12 10:50:56 AM
Someone got all defensive, truth must hurt.
 
2013-02-12 11:00:07 AM
Will you two stop having a pissing contest in a jerk-off thread already!
 
2013-02-12 11:03:20 AM

Sultan Of Herf: My wife gets turned on when I do it. Weird, since I only have to do it when she isnt giving any up.


Sounds like a pretty good way to get her to finish what you start.
 
2013-02-12 11:12:12 AM

Gunderson: Will you two stop having a pissing contest in a jerk-off thread already!


Prude, how dare you judge Alex's golden shower fetish!

But ok, I'll relent.   Can I use your rest room? I've stored up rather a large amount of pee for this.
 
2013-02-12 11:19:00 AM

illannoyin: BroncoFan_17: Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.

[i.imgur.com image 500x300]

True.

/Don't judge me!


Where does this image come from? I've seen this a zillion times now and somehow I feel like I've seen this before (outside of the internets).
 
2013-02-12 11:22:00 AM

ooochromeooo: illannoyin: BroncoFan_17: Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.

[i.imgur.com image 500x300]

True.

/Don't judge me!

Where does this image come from? I've seen this a zillion times now and somehow I feel like I've seen this before (outside of the internets).


I posted links shortly before that, or am I on an ignore list?
 
2013-02-12 11:38:45 AM
Man, I fall asleep, and look where the thread goes without me. ;)

Did you all miss me?

/No @ symbols this time because I am not on my mobile device.
 
2013-02-12 11:42:57 AM

darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)


Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.
 
2013-02-12 11:58:43 AM
FInally decided to make a Fark account last night.  What a thread to stumble upon!  Lol.
 
2013-02-12 12:30:58 PM

Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.


i29.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 01:14:33 PM

Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.


You certainly do have some interesitng hobbies in your profile!  ;)
 
2013-02-12 01:19:33 PM

mudpants: Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.

[i29.photobucket.com image 320x240]


Hehehehe. I shall take that as a compliment. Does that pic count as getting to watch you masturbate? ;)
 
2013-02-12 01:21:13 PM

WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.

You certainly do have some interesitng hobbies in your profile!  ;)


I try to be as diverse as possible. :P Plus, I find I am hardly ever bored.
 
2013-02-12 01:22:21 PM

Kiradikash: WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.

You certainly do have some interesitng hobbies in your profile!  ;)

I try to be as diverse as possible. :P Plus, I find I am hardly ever bored.


Well, that's one good thing about it!  I hate when I am bored. :P
 
2013-02-12 01:23:43 PM

WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: darkmayo: @Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)

Thanks. :) I have been working on my belly dancing, but I am not that great at it, yet.

You certainly do have some interesitng hobbies in your profile!  ;)

I try to be as diverse as possible. :P Plus, I find I am hardly ever bored.

Well, that's one good thing about it!  I hate when I am bored. :P


Well... no one wants to see me bored. I tend to find really weird things to do when I am bored. There have been times I have left my friends thinking "WTF?!" after me being bored and having time on my hands. :P
 
2013-02-12 01:24:57 PM

Kiradikash: Well... no one wants to see me bored. I tend to find really weird things to do when I am bored. There have been times I have left my friends thinking "WTF?!" after me being bored and having time on my hands. :P


Well, when I am bored, my mind tends to wonder as well. Sometimes, it ends up getting me into trouble or people end up thinking.. what the hell is wrong with him? Lol.
 
2013-02-12 01:25:37 PM
The top part of this thread was so full of win, the bottom was like when you're wanking it to some really hot porn and you accidentally click on a random link
 
2013-02-12 01:29:07 PM

WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: Well... no one wants to see me bored. I tend to find really weird things to do when I am bored. There have been times I have left my friends thinking "WTF?!" after me being bored and having time on my hands. :P

Well, when I am bored, my mind tends to wonder as well. Sometimes, it ends up getting me into trouble or people end up thinking.. what the hell is wrong with him? Lol.


Hmmm...I have never got in trouble for my weirdness while bored. Lol.

I have made paper clothes for a toy dinosaur out of colored party napkins. I built a snowman in my yard at 2a, and then dismantled it, put it in my car, drove to a friend's house, and assembled it in their yard at 3a. I made a nifty piece of sex/bondage furniture (will not go into details on here). Oh, I went to Starbucks and through a Taco Bell drive thru wearing the costume and mask from the Scream/Scary Movie. And these are just some of the mild thing.

And you should see me when I have caffeine. It got to the point my friends and coworkers were going to ban Starbucks from serving me anything.
 
2013-02-12 01:30:16 PM

IAMBOB: The top part of this thread was so full of win, the bottom was like when you're wanking it to some really hot porn and you accidentally click on a random link


Well...what would you prescribe to fix this issue? ;)
 
2013-02-12 01:35:35 PM

Kiradikash: IAMBOB: The top part of this thread was so full of win, the bottom was like when you're wanking it to some really hot porn and you accidentally click on a random link

Well...what would you prescribe to fix this issue? ;)


Seems like masturbation might be a good solution. And if not... well at least you got off, right?
 
2013-02-12 01:35:54 PM

Kiradikash: Hmmm...I have never got in trouble for my weirdness while bored. Lol.

I have made paper clothes for a toy dinosaur out of colored party napkins. I built a snowman in my yard at 2a, and then dismantled it, put it in my car, drove to a friend's house, and assembled it in their yard at 3a. I made a nifty piece of sex/bondage furniture (will not go into details on here). Oh, I went to Starbucks and through a Taco Bell drive thru wearing the costume and mask from the Scream/Scary Movie. And these are just some of the mild thing.

And you should see me when I have caffeine. It got to the point my friends and coworkers were going to ban Starbucks from serving me anything.


Haha, you certainly know how to get weird!  I would totally love to hear more stories. :P
 
2013-02-12 01:36:52 PM
Well, we could get back on subject.  makes me miss my college g/f she had no qualms about masturbating in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same in front of her.  I'd say she was the most sexually uninhibited person I've ever dated.

/too bad she's happily married now - lucky farker
 
2013-02-12 01:44:56 PM

IAMBOB: Well, we could get back on subject.  makes me miss my college g/f she had no qualms about masturbating in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same in front of her.  I'd say she was the most sexually uninhibited person I've ever dated.

/too bad she's happily married now - lucky farker


You know the same ex I started this thread out talking about, also used to call me a nympho because my sex drive was higher than his? He would be happy with 1-2 times a week. How dare I want it more than that! Got to the point he told me to buy a dildo and leave him alone. :(
 
2013-02-12 01:48:34 PM
1-2x a week?  Sheesh, she wanted it at least 3-4x a day.  I was more than happy to oblige, fortunately I was very fit back then, not sure I could keep that up now, but darn if I wouldn't be willing to try.
 
2013-02-12 02:05:48 PM

Kiradikash: IAMBOB: Well, we could get back on subject.  makes me miss my college g/f she had no qualms about masturbating in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same in front of her.  I'd say she was the most sexually uninhibited person I've ever dated.

/too bad she's happily married now - lucky farker

You know the same ex I started this thread out talking about, also used to call me a nympho because my sex drive was higher than his? He would be happy with 1-2 times a week. How dare I want it more than that! Got to the point he told me to buy a dildo and leave him alone. :(


It's unfortunate how often that happens with couples.  Of course, any given mixtures or matches of drives can come up with problems as such.  Some of the worst relationships I've seen(or been in) were 2 people with high drives, just didn't have much in common to bond over otherwise, and when libido slowed(due to work, illness or separation(IE work travel or something), all kinds of problems popped up.  That's no fun either.
 
2013-02-12 02:22:02 PM

Kiradikash: IAMBOB: Well, we could get back on subject.  makes me miss my college g/f she had no qualms about masturbating in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same in front of her.  I'd say she was the most sexually uninhibited person I've ever dated.

/too bad she's happily married now - lucky farker

You know the same ex I started this thread out talking about, also used to call me a nympho because my sex drive was higher than his? He would be happy with 1-2 times a week. How dare I want it more than that! Got to the point he told me to buy a dildo and leave him alone. :(


I can see saying "buy a dildo and let me watch". But leave me alone? Thats just..... I'm not super high sex drive but I still don't get it
 
2013-02-12 02:23:34 PM
Very true, I've been in relationships with women that had much lower libidos, but we got along fine until the sex drive, or lack of it rather got in the way.  But on the other side, of the few that have had the same or higher only a handful worked out for longer than a few months due to personality conflicts or BBC syndrome (B*tch Be Crazy).
It's good to find the fine line of someone who enjoys it, but doesn't crave it and won't push you off cause you've already done your allotted doses for the week. Especially if it's someone you can get along with and won't accost you for spending a few minutes in the shower, or online alone.
haven't found it yet, so I have to keep looking.
 
2013-02-12 02:35:18 PM

Kiradikash: IAMBOB: Well, we could get back on subject.  makes me miss my college g/f she had no qualms about masturbating in front of me, and encouraged me to do the same in front of her.  I'd say she was the most sexually uninhibited person I've ever dated.

/too bad she's happily married now - lucky farker

You know the same ex I started this thread out talking about, also used to call me a nympho because my sex drive was higher than his? He would be happy with 1-2 times a week. How dare I want it more than that! Got to the point he told me to buy a dildo and leave him alone. :(


Hey, I dated that guy.  He told me we should save sex for weekends so it would be "more special".  Curbed.  Upgraded.

//I also like to watch
 
2013-02-12 02:41:31 PM
I've never had a problem doing that in front of a chick.
/shrug
//was fun
///also a turn on
 
2013-02-12 02:46:21 PM

WeAllShallFall: I've never had a problem doing that in front of a chick.
/shrug
//was fun
///also a turn on


Absolutely. And if she's laying next to me, touching me and giving encouragement... err.... brb
 
2013-02-12 03:09:29 PM

Kiradikash: WeAllShallFall: Kiradikash: Well... no one wants to see me bored. I tend to find really weird things to do when I am bored. There have been times I have left my friends thinking "WTF?!" after me being bored and having time on my hands. :P

Well, when I am bored, my mind tends to wonder as well. Sometimes, it ends up getting me into trouble or people end up thinking.. what the hell is wrong with him? Lol.

Hmmm...I have never got in trouble for my weirdness while bored. Lol.

I have made paper clothes for a toy dinosaur out of colored party napkins. I built a snowman in my yard at 2a, and then dismantled it, put it in my car, drove to a friend's house, and assembled it in their yard at 3a. I made a nifty piece of sex/bondage furniture (will not go into details on here). Oh, I went to Starbucks and through a Taco Bell drive thru wearing the costume and mask from the Scream/Scary Movie. And these are just some of the mild thing.

And you should see me when I have caffeine. It got to the point my friends and coworkers were going to ban Starbucks from serving me anything.


OK,  I have to know about this furniture.
 
2013-02-12 03:10:14 PM

IAMBOB: 1-2x a week?  Sheesh, she wanted it at least 3-4x a day.  I was more than happy to oblige, fortunately I was very fit back then, not sure I could keep that up now, but darn if I wouldn't be willing to try.


Understandable. I was not wanting it to the point it interfered with every day life. Just more than he did. My issue is that he felt this made me a "nympho" because I wanted it more than him.
 
2013-02-12 03:23:24 PM
Wanting it more than your guy does not by any means make one a nympho, just passionate about your man.  now my ex, yeah she kinda leaned that way.  She wanted it to a bit of an extreme, but we worked it out to where it didn't interfere with daily life. it also helped that we were living together at the time.  oddly enough once we broke up her appetite dwindled, but was still pretty ferocious compared to your 1-2x/ week guy.

honestly wish I'd married her, and not for the sex.  we're still friends, and get along pretty well, but I'm seriously jealous of her current guy.  He hasn't had a job since they've been together, and she's fine with that. All he has to do is cook and clean and she pays the bills.  They don't even have any kids.  THAT COULD BE ME!  Dude must have a tongue like Gene Simmons.
 
2013-02-12 09:36:36 PM
I'm a girl who faps in the shower, so I'm getting a kick...

...at the shower door.
 
2013-02-12 10:33:16 PM

Atomic Spunk: I think Kiradikash is a rare exception. Every time I am hanging out in a parking lot or stairwell and I see a woman, I have tried to demonstrate how I masturbate, but they usually scream and run the other way. Women are generally afraid of masturbating men.


I usually prefer to just open my mouth and close my eyes. I don't understand most women. Hop in and help, for god's sake!

/seriously
 
2013-02-12 10:34:04 PM

Spaced Lion: By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.


PS- sorry I'm late :)
 
2013-02-13 02:33:18 AM

empres77: I'm a girl who faps in the shower, so I'm getting a kick...

...at the shower door.


go on.....zip
 
2013-02-13 07:34:09 AM

kiwimoogle84: Atomic Spunk: I think Kiradikash is a rare exception. Every time I am hanging out in a parking lot or stairwell and I see a woman, I have tried to demonstrate how I masturbate, but they usually scream and run the other way. Women are generally afraid of masturbating men.

I usually prefer to just open my mouth and close my eyes. I don't understand most women. Hop in and help, for god's sake!

/seriously


You're a wonderful person
 
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