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(Warwick Daily News (Australia))   You may be with the wrong girl if you have to fap alone in the shower. Especially if she then kicks in the shower door, catches you, smashes the TV, and attacks your mom to keep her from calling the cops   (warwickdailynews.com.au) divider line 155
    More: Scary, showers  
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11094 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 1:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-12 01:49:10 AM
@buttsecks
 
2013-02-12 01:50:26 AM
@pheelix Would that be before or after I pass out the lube to those who would get their panties in a bunch over that?
 
2013-02-12 01:51:14 AM
I need an adult.
 
2013-02-12 01:51:46 AM
I think Kiradikash is a rare exception. Every time I am hanging out in a parking lot or stairwell and I see a woman, I have tried to demonstrate how I masturbate, but they usually scream and run the other way. Women are generally afraid of masturbating men.
 
2013-02-12 01:51:51 AM

Kiradikash: @darkmayo I am soooo adding you to my favorites tomorrow when I am on an actual computer and not my mobile device. You have me cracking up so bad.


haha thanks, its a weird story, and a weirder thread brain just seems to be on a roll.
 
2013-02-12 01:51:53 AM
@haterade What is wrong with buttsecks? Cannot tell if yu are for or againat it by your post. :-P
 
2013-02-12 01:52:39 AM
#43

s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-02-12 01:53:38 AM

pheelix: #43

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x600]


dammit its late.  Wrong farking thread. Carry on.
 
2013-02-12 01:53:39 AM
@Atomic Spunk

Darn it...how come I am never the one to find that? I would watch. ;-)

Maybe I am the exception?
 
2013-02-12 01:54:12 AM

MissFeasance: I need an adult.

static.neatoshop.com
 
2013-02-12 01:55:13 AM

pheelix: pheelix: #43

[s3-ec.buzzfed.com image 600x600]

dammit its late.  Wrong farking thread. Carry on.


And yet it strangely works... Also, this thread took a turn for the awesome.
-J-
 
2013-02-12 01:55:24 AM

Kiradikash: @Atomic Spunk

Darn it...how come I am never the one to find that? I would watch. ;-)

Maybe I am the exception?


Maybe he does requests.
 
2013-02-12 01:56:18 AM

Kiradikash: @haterade What is wrong with buttsecks? Cannot tell if yu are for or againat it by your post. :-P


For it, but i'll take what I can get
 
2013-02-12 01:57:27 AM

Kiradikash: @Atomic Spunk

Darn it...how come I am never the one to find that? I would watch. ;-)


I'm Asian. You will probably need to bring your magnifying glass.
 
2013-02-12 01:59:03 AM
By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.
 
2013-02-12 02:00:16 AM
my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this
 
2013-02-12 02:01:15 AM

Kiradikash: @pheelix Would that be before or after I pass out the lube to those who would get their panties in a bunch over that?


Both.
 
2013-02-12 02:01:15 AM
I admit it, I use different fap techniques when my girl is watching me than when I'm on my own.  Big Fist Style feels great, but it's not very interesting to look at.

Also, never in the shower, because hot water + spunke + knuckle hair is a bad combination, as is shampoo + peehole.
 
2013-02-12 02:01:52 AM

eggplanticus: my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this


cough.....      sooo sore...         go   on....    ziiiiiip
 
2013-02-12 02:04:23 AM

poot_rootbeer: I admit it, I use different fap techniques when my girl is watching me than when I'm on my own.  Big Fist Style feels great, but it's not very interesting to look at.

Also, never in the shower, because hot water + spunke + knuckle hair is a bad combination, as is shampoo + peehole.


dude, conditioner...less painful and you have the benefit of having silky smooth pubes
 
2013-02-12 02:04:24 AM

Spaced Lion: By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 02:04:49 AM

Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.


Masturbation is like pooping. Yeah, you feel great afterwards, but it doesn't look pretty.
 
2013-02-12 02:05:00 AM

darkmayo: eggplanticus: my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this

cough.....      sooo sore...         go   on....    ziiiiiip


Do what poot_rootbeer does with his GF. Slowly and elegantly with pinkies out.
-J-
 
2013-02-12 02:06:11 AM

poot_rootbeer: I admit it, I use different fap techniques when my girl is watching me than when I'm on my own.  Big Fist Style feels great, but it's not very interesting to look at.

Also, never in the shower, because hot water + spunke + knuckle hair is a bad combination, as is shampoo + peehole.


Big fist style?  Is that with Hulk hands or something?
 
2013-02-12 02:06:59 AM

Kiradikash: *masturbating...not mastirbation.

/darn stupid keyboard on a stupid touch screen phone with NO pull out keyboard.


Pull out keyboard method is not a safe method, be safe or you may catch Autocorrect Syndrome.

/50 comments and no one else takes a stab at "pull out"?
//Typing this on a mobile with a physical keyboard that I pulled out.
 
2013-02-12 02:08:11 AM

Jarod Cain: darkmayo: eggplanticus: my gf caught me masturbating to this thread, so I am getting a kick out of this

cough.....      sooo sore...         go   on....    ziiiiiip

Do what poot_rootbeer does with his GF. Slowly and elegantly with pinkies out.
-J-


now that sounds like a plan..  all classy like. Maybe put a monicle on and look at some racy Daguerreotypes?
 
2013-02-12 02:08:36 AM
cdn.pastemagazine.com
Doesn't anybody farking knock anymore?
 
2013-02-12 02:09:34 AM

Spaced Lion: By the power vested in me, I now declare this a Fark AW ThreadTM.


Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
 
2013-02-12 02:10:53 AM

WhyKnot: WTF is with all the "@blah blah blah"???

Do people not see the "reply" button???

Is this a hip new way to reference prior comments? Nevermind, I probably wouldn't understand.


To reply.
 
2013-02-12 02:11:42 AM

Kiradikash: @lordargent Bwuahahaha. I have seen that before.

I used to let him watch me, which he asked if he could. When I asked if I could watch him, he says it's different...that he did not know why I wanted to watch him.


Assuming you're female..

There is an obvious overall cultural difference between the sexes when it comes to the acceptability of masturbation.  For most guys(as far as perception of the masses, and typically practice, at least in youth), it's something done because they can't get any. It becomes associated with shame if others know about it, and that's not even bringing in the whole "It's evil" from various religions and such.
 Even if explained it can carry that stigma in his mind, not to mention associations with surprise visitors who don't knock.

As far as women it's the opposite.  They can pretty get some whenever they want, so when they choose to do it themselves it's kind of hot, a sign of health and strength, a willingness to do what must be done, because none around are good enough to do it.(that last can also backfire and men can feel threatened as well....but usually we realize better a one off on your part than to go without completely)

Meh, i don't think it should be a big deal.

I see it as akin to wanting to close the bedroom door before sex(or even just sleep, I can't sleep with my bedroom door open[then again I've got really good hearing and can tell the difference in acoustics, very light and finicky sleeper]), even if the rest of the house is empty.  Sex for many people carries that issue of security, irrational as it may be, it's mostly harmless.

I also prefer sex with the lights off.  It's not a shame or lack of confidence, it's a control.  You now have to feel your way around.

Maybe he's insecure with people watching in general.  Just being seen in that state can trigger normal insecurities, a natural feeling of vulnerability.  Evolutionarily speaking, it could serve a purpose, being wary when in that state could be advantageous in man's more violent past.
 
2013-02-12 02:15:37 AM

omeganuepsilon: Kiradikash: @lordargent Bwuahahaha. I have seen that before.

I used to let him watch me, which he asked if he could. When I asked if I could watch him, he says it's different...that he did not know why I wanted to watch him.

Assuming you're female..

There is an obvious overall cultural difference between the sexes when it comes to the acceptability of masturbation.  For most guys(as far as perception of the masses, and typically practice, at least in youth), it's something done because they can't get any. It becomes associated with shame if others know about it, and that's not even bringing in the whole "It's evil" from various religions and such.
 Even if explained it can carry that stigma in his mind, not to mention associations with surprise visitors who don't knock.

As far as women it's the opposite.  They can pretty get some whenever they want, so when they choose to do it themselves it's kind of hot, a sign of health and strength, a willingness to do what must be done, because none around are good enough to do it.(that last can also backfire and men can feel threatened as well....but usually we realize better a one off on your part than to go without completely)

Meh, i don't think it should be a big deal.

I see it as akin to wanting to close the bedroom door before sex(or even just sleep, I can't sleep with my bedroom door open[then again I've got really good hearing and can tell the difference in acoustics, very light and finicky sleeper]), even if the rest of the house is empty.  Sex for many people carries that issue of security, irrational as it may be, it's mostly harmless.

I also prefer sex with the lights off.  It's not a shame or lack of confidence, it's a control.  You now have to feel your way around.

Maybe he's insecure with people watching in general.  Just being seen in that state can trigger normal insecurities, a natural feeling of vulnerability.  Evolutionarily speaking, it could serve a purpose, being wary when in that state could be a ...


bit of a double standard, but it really depends on the person like you said. I don't believe it is a "gender" issue or at least I never had hang ups on my "performance art"  I could be wrong though.
 
2013-02-12 02:17:09 AM
Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.
 
2013-02-12 02:19:38 AM
@Kiradikash   interesting hobbies in your profile (thumbs up on the belly dancing)
 
2013-02-12 02:20:04 AM

BroncoFan_17: Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.


speak for yourself man....5x a day may be as much as i'd want to endure
 
2013-02-12 02:21:43 AM

BroncoFan_17: Ladies, you could be the hottest woman in the world, and give in to our every sexual fantasy. You could do that 5 times a day. We'd still find time to rub one out over some shiat that you just wouldn;t understand.


i.imgur.com

True.

/Don't judge me!
 
2013-02-12 02:49:50 AM
Um, I think I might also need an adult. It's like that one weird party I went to. I really wanted to leave, but I almost wanted someone to make me stay...
*backs away slowly*
*a little slower*
 
2013-02-12 02:51:31 AM

darkmayo: bit of a double standard, but it really depends on the person like you said. I don't believe it is a "gender" issue or at least I never had hang ups on my "performance art"  I could be wrong though.



It's not a "gender" issue.  It's now the human psyche deals with input from society.  Most of society does treat males and females differently in some things with regularity, and it can manifest in certain ways.  Swap the male and female roles from my examples around and you'd not change a thing.  Treat females as I described males as being treated, and you'd expect the same results.

Example:

How often have you seen a male cover his nipples when "caught" without a shirt on?  Females?

Same situation.  Females in that case, are taught that people shouldn't see their boobs, so they cover them.  Maybe there's also more to it, like I said about males, an instinctual protection that may have actually served the species in the past.  Hiding femininity can also be a distinctive edge when it comes to attracting an undesirable, or If you don't cover them, maybe some guy gets the wrong idea.  etc.

My point was, that for any given insecurity, there are several potential causes, some very natural if not rational.  (IE instinct or completely subconscious feelings are not classifiable as "rational" as you can't simply reason your way out of it(even threapy yields mixed results).

I'm not saying every man is that way, or every woman, but the situations and public perception I described can be very typical.

View society as you will, but don't try to paint me into some antagonistic or bigoted role.
/Maybe you aren't doing that, but it happens enough on fark
//Hell every so often you mention anatomical differences and you get lambasted for being a misogynist or sexist
 
2013-02-12 03:04:16 AM

TopoGigo: Um, I think I might also need an adult. It's like that one weird party I went to. I really wanted to leave, but I almost wanted someone to make me stay...
*backs away slowly*
*a little slower*


no no don't go

(stage whisper) run, run away while you still can, don't look back....and for the love of god do it now
 
2013-02-12 03:05:10 AM

illannoyin: True.

/Don't judge me!


Never saw that pic before, here's more: NSFW

http://photoslaves.com/understanding-joshua-by-charlie-white/

My favorite sans the NSFW one

photoslaves.com
top one is good too, but could have been better
/just like the creepy factor
//original author talks about more "meaningful" things like male self loathing and embodiments of fragility and such
///pansy, if he didn't do cool creepy picks I'd want to scalp him and leave him dead in a shower stall
//Wait, what?
/Larger pics(if you click the pics) but no NSFW
http://monsterbrains.blogspot.com/2011/11/charlie-white-understandin g- joshua-2001.html
 
2013-02-12 04:15:16 AM

Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.


Some women have a real issue with it. I think in some cases it is an insecurity issue, they feel threatened by it as though their guy doesn't find them desirable if he goes solo. In other cases I think it is a control issue, they want to use sexual pleasure as a way to control the relationship and if their guy is getting his rocks off they can't do that as well. I have no idea how common it is (I've never dated anyone like that) but it is common enough that you hear about it fairly regularly.

In terms of your ex, for some people, it is a really private thing. They are used to doing it completely alone, so they aren't comfortable with even their sexual partner watching. Personally, I think mutual masturbation can be a lot of fun, but not everyone is comfortable with that.
 
2013-02-12 04:35:16 AM
I am not sure this whole problem they have is about sex but about the female with holding sex as a punishment. She wants to get her way and then when she catches him foiling her plan she goes nuts because she is not winning.
 
2013-02-12 06:44:19 AM
I'm glad I'm single.. lol
 
2013-02-12 07:11:41 AM
Don't you know, sweetie pie, all you love juice now belongs to me. Now be a smoochy bear and get out of that shower before I cut your dick off.

ryanseacrest.com

Oh, and as punishment for cheating on me with yourself we aren't going to make love for a week.
 
2013-02-12 07:30:43 AM
What the hell is a 35yr old doing with 23yr old in the first place?  They had to have gotten together when she was damn near a teenager still.   Of course she's farked up and of course he's a fark up.  This shouldn't be a surprise outcome at all.    And he's still living with his mother?
 
2013-02-12 07:38:31 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: I bet the sex is amazing. Then again, 2 kids...


Nothing wrong with a 4-way.
 
2013-02-12 07:39:08 AM

Tymast: What the hell is a 35yr old doing with 23yr old in the first place?  They had to have gotten together when she was damn near a teenager still.   Of course she's farked up and of course he's a fark up.  This shouldn't be a surprise outcome at all.    And he's still living with his mother?


Not going to comment on living with his mother, but 35 with a 23 isn't crazy. Well, she's crazy, obviously. But it's certainly not out of the realm of realistic and normal possibilities. Though this chick was clearly off her meds.
 
2013-02-12 07:48:11 AM

WhyKnot: WTF is with all the "@blah blah blah"???

Do people not see the "reply" button???

Is this a hip new way to reference prior comments? Nevermind, I probably wouldn't understand.


Farking liters...
 
2013-02-12 07:57:51 AM

Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.


My wife gets turned on when I do it. Weird, since I only have to do it when she isnt giving any up.

/or when I just want to get off and be done
 
2013-02-12 08:32:20 AM

LoneWolf343: Kiradikash: @Jarod Cain

Really? I used to ask my ex to let me watch him masturbate. He never let me. :-( I had no issue with guys mastirbating. I actually encourage it.

Masturbation is like pooping. Yeah, you feel great afterwards, but it doesn't look pretty.


Go on.... Zzzzip
 
2013-02-12 08:35:36 AM
elia.jootamam.net
 
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