If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The New York Times)   Zen Master: you must forego attachment to all things, even your attachment to personal modesty. Zen student: Is that some kind of metaphonical koan? Zen Master: No, seriously, whip out 'dem boobies   (nytimes.com) divider line 123
    More: Asinine, patriarchy, female students  
•       •       •

13281 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Feb 2013 at 12:52 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



123 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-12 12:44:51 AM
Well, OK.  Is there an application involved to get this job?  Anyone know?


/DNRTA, obviously.
 
2013-02-12 12:54:55 AM
LGT paywall. Awesome job subby.
 
2013-02-12 12:55:06 AM
What is the sound of one hand fapping?
 
2013-02-12 12:55:19 AM
Where is the "awesome" tag?
 
2013-02-12 12:55:26 AM
I will fill you with the holiest of holy seeds

so swallow
 
2013-02-12 12:58:08 AM
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 12:58:10 AM
John Friend
http://nymag.com/news/features/john-friend-yoga-2012-4/  laughs at these amateurs
 
2013-02-12 01:00:42 AM

DarkLancelot: What is the sound of one hand fapping?


/thread
 
2013-02-12 01:01:29 AM
 
2013-02-12 01:01:33 AM
fta a "career of misconduct,"

See, mom? I wasn't a smartass delinquent. I just started on my career path in grade school.
 
2013-02-12 01:01:34 AM
Zen Boobism.

i.huffpost.com
 
2013-02-12 01:01:42 AM
Nice work if you can get it.
 
2013-02-12 01:02:31 AM
That...  That's brilliant.

"Now, female grasshopper, to reach the next stage of enlightenment, you must attach these weighted nipple clamps to each of your breasts and lean forward to see how much those puppies stretch out."
 
2013-02-12 01:03:21 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: LGT paywall. Awesome job subby.


You've used up your monthly allotment of freebies, apparently.
 
2013-02-12 01:05:35 AM
I almost peed myself a bit laughing when I found out a term for him was roshi.
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-12 01:06:10 AM
It's actually true though. Unethical, but true.

Japan's most famous monk, the legendary Daruma, sat on a rock until his arms and legs rotted away. You think a little grope would have distirbed him?

But still, I mean come on Zen monk guy. Show a little class. Also you should be beyond such desires yourself if you're running the temple.
 
2013-02-12 01:06:45 AM
The guy looks spectacular for 105 years old. Must be all that groping and harassing.
 
2013-02-12 01:06:55 AM

lelio: John Friend
http://nymag.com/news/features/john-friend-yoga-2012-4/  laughs at these amateurs


For future reference:  if there's no sex in the first six paragraphs, please don't bother.
 
2013-02-12 01:07:28 AM
Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.
 
2013-02-12 01:07:28 AM

Notabunny: fta a "career of misconduct,"

See, mom? I wasn't a smartass delinquent. I just started on my career path in grade school.


Couldn't commit to a career of evil?

burnsburdick11.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us
 
2013-02-12 01:09:10 AM
Groping is a hard habit to break if you grow up riding the subway in Japan.
 
2013-02-12 01:12:15 AM
I've forgone using attachments for years...to many damn Word documents of policies about TPS reports and such.
 
2013-02-12 01:12:59 AM

DarkLancelot: What is the sound of one hand fapping?


You magnificent bastard.
 
2013-02-12 01:18:37 AM

HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.


Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?
 
2013-02-12 01:18:45 AM

HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders? Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion. All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.


What the hell are you talking about?

Just because you're in the West doesn't mean everybody thinks like you or how you fantasize Xanadu & Orientalism to be... but, free Tibet, and fight the man, or something.
 
2013-02-12 01:19:09 AM
Mr. Martin, now a Zen abbot in Victoria, British Columbia

Oh, fer f*ck's sake, that's like being a Nietzschian pope.
 
2013-02-12 01:23:00 AM
Actually, it was a koan:

How can you forego attachment to modesty and my hand?
 
2013-02-12 01:24:28 AM
I never did trust them Zen types.  But they're not as weird as those Pure Land dudes.
 
2013-02-12 01:24:46 AM

HotWingAgenda: Mr. Martin, now a Zen abbot in Victoria, British Columbia

Oh, fer f*ck's sake, that's like being a Nietzschian pope.


It's not really. Zazen is a specific school of mahayana Budhism and like most schools it is highly structured.
 
2013-02-12 01:25:32 AM

Brainsick: Notabunny: fta a "career of misconduct,"

See, mom? I wasn't a smartass delinquent. I just started on my career path in grade school.

Couldn't commit to a career of evil?

[burnsburdick11.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us image 155x151]


I won't apologize.
 
2013-02-12 01:26:27 AM

Thanks for the Meme-ries: [i291.photobucket.com image 420x456]


What event was that for?  That looks like the parking lot at Qualcomm stadium in San Diego....


A Chargers/Raiders game?
 
2013-02-12 01:26:31 AM

Lionel Mandrake: I never did trust them Zen types.  But they're not as weird as those Pure Land dudes.


Pure land Buddhism is like Jesus for Budhists. "If I just surrender at some point before I die, Amida will help me be reborn in a better world so I can be s better person.
 
2013-02-12 01:27:37 AM

doglover: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.

Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?


You just rendered a great description of Taoism and other organized Eastern religions.  Which has f*ckall to do with Buddhism.  Buddhism is not about communities, or parents, or dealing with other people at all.  The whole point is looking inward to know yourself, and therefore achieve greater understanding of the basic mechanics of the universe.

legion_of_doo: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders? Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion. All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

Just because you're in the West doesn't mean everybody thinks like you or how you fantasize Xanadu & Orientalism to be... but, free Tibet, and fight the man, or something.


Tibet is basically Taoist.  When Buddhism was first spreading East along the silk road from Kushan, and got into territories under the cultural influence of China, due to a language gap the locals thought the Buddhists were just describing the religion they had been practicing all along.  So they kept practicing their same centralized, organized Taoist religion, with rigorous controls over what people could wear, eat, say, do, etc., but coopted the symbols of Buddhism because they liked it better.  Things got even further distorted when the Buddhist scholars reached the Shintoists in Japan.
 
2013-02-12 01:30:01 AM

Satanic_Hamster: Brainsick: Notabunny: fta a "career of misconduct,"

See, mom? I wasn't a smartass delinquent. I just started on my career path in grade school.

Couldn't commit to a career of evil?

[burnsburdick11.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us image 155x151]

I won't apologize.


Fluffy?
 
2013-02-12 01:32:14 AM

HotWingAgenda: doglover: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.

Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?

You just rendered a great description of Taoism and other organized Eastern religions.  Which has f*ckall to do with Buddhism.  Buddhism is not about communities, or parents, or dealing with other people at all.  The whole point is looking inward to know yourself, and therefore achieve greater understanding of the basic mechanics of the universe.

legion_of_doo: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders? Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion. All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

Just because you're in the West doesn't mean everybody thinks like you or how you fantasize Xanadu & Orientalism to be... but, free Tibet, and fight the man, or something.

Tibet is ...


Oh shiat! Two East Asia experts in the house. It's on like Donkey Kong!
 
2013-02-12 01:36:06 AM

doglover: Lionel Mandrake: I never did trust them Zen types.  But they're not as weird as those Pure Land dudes.

Pure land Buddhism is like Jesus for Budhists. "If I just surrender at some point before I die, Amida will help me be reborn in a better world so I can be s better person.


Yeah...like I said, weird!
 
2013-02-12 01:39:26 AM
Perhaps he did not know the car guys was logging the events ?


/ Wrong tread but works ?
 
2013-02-12 01:42:25 AM
Silly zen teacher, abusing women is reserved exclusively for the Aqua Buddha.
 
2013-02-12 01:50:59 AM
if a man has a sex drive at that age, i say let him be.
 
2013-02-12 01:52:57 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: HotWingAgenda: doglover: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.

Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?

You just rendered a great description of Taoism and other organized Eastern religions.  Which has f*ckall to do with Buddhism.  Buddhism is not about communities, or parents, or dealing with other people at all.  The whole point is looking inward to know yourself, and therefore achieve greater understanding of the basic mechanics of the universe.

legion_of_doo: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders? Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion. All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

Just because you're in the West doesn't mean everybody thinks like you or how you fantasize Xanadu & Orientalism to be... but, free Tibet, and fight the man, or someth ...


Nah. One Expert in Tokyo walkin' to Koenji for shoppin' and one HotWingAgenda who doesn't know basic Buddhist history.
 
2013-02-12 01:59:01 AM

frestcrallen: Groping is a hard habit to break if you grow up riding the subway in Japan.


It's an especially hard habit to break if you're in Chicago.
 
2013-02-12 02:00:42 AM

Rufus Lee King: Being Jewish, I usually meditate upon metaphonical Cohens.


Are they the ones who make the movies?
 
2013-02-12 02:03:00 AM
I'd really rather stay attached to my boobies, thanks.
 
2013-02-12 02:03:04 AM

DarkLancelot: What is the sound of one hand fapping?


Bet me to it...

/was too busy fapping
 
2013-02-12 02:05:05 AM

HotWingAgenda: doglover: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders?  Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion.  All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

... reads TFA...

Oh, not actual Buddhists.  Taoists and Shintoists claiming the name and symbolism of Buddhism in order to sound cool and get money and political power.

Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?

You just rendered a great description of Taoism and other organized Eastern religions.  Which has f*ckall to do with Buddhism.  Buddhism is not about communities, or parents, or dealing with other people at all.  The whole point is looking inward to know yourself, and therefore achieve greater understanding of the basic mechanics of the universe.

legion_of_doo: HotWingAgenda: Since when do we have our own senior counsel of leaders? Buddhism is a philosophy and decentralized school of thought, not an organized religion. All our leading scholars are centuries dead, anyhow... not in a position to be groping anyone.

What the hell are you talking about?

Just because you're in the West doesn't mean everybody thinks like you or how you fantasize Xanadu & Orientalism to be... but, free Tibet, and fight the man, or something.

Tibet is ...


Wow, I never ran into someone this insistent on spreading misinformation about Buddhism before.
 
2013-02-12 02:08:18 AM
One of the few reasons why I can't fully respect Buddhist teachings (I respect some) because of the philosophy of care about nothing, the world is suffering/not good enough thus abandon hope and desire and you'll be enlightened. Guess what happens when you teach that, shiat like this.
 
2013-02-12 02:16:21 AM

doglover: HotWingAgenda: Mr. Martin, now a Zen abbot in Victoria, British Columbia

Oh, fer f*ck's sake, that's like being a Nietzschian pope.

It's not really. Zazen is a specific school of mahayana Budhism and like most schools it is highly structured.


This is like a hot iron ball stuck in my throat. I can neither swallow it nor can I spit it out. So I suffer.

/not really, I can spit it out.
//but it would have been better if HotWingAgenda had been born brainless.
 
2013-02-12 02:25:08 AM

HotWingAgenda: doglover:

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?

HotWingAgenda: You just rendered a great description of Taoism and other organized Eastern religions.  Which has f*ckall to do with Buddhism.  Buddhism is not about communities, or parents, or dealing with other people at all.  The whole point is looking inward to know yourself, and therefore achieve greater understanding of the basic mechanics of the universe.


Recall the Four Noble Truths, the foundation of Buddhism:

The truth of dukkha (suffering, anxiety, dissatisfaction)
The truth of the origin of dukkha
The truth of the cessation of dukkha
The truth of the path leading to the cessation of dukkha

The "whole point" of Buddhist practice is the cessation of suffering.


Immediately, we come to the first great fork in the tree of Buddhist sects.  Who's suffering; just yours, or the suffering of all sentient beings?  Theravada Buddhists focus on ending their own suffering through personal understanding.  Mahayana Buddists take the vow of the Bodhisattva:  to forego the end of their personal  suffering until the suffering of every other sentient being is ended.

Zen Buddhism is a subsect of Mahayana.  The Zen practitioner may practice alone - Zen's founder, Bodhidharma, spent nine years staring at a wall, speaking to no one. But when enlightenment is achieved, it is to be passed along to others to help them end their suffering.  This is why Zen features the transmission of Dharma from master to pupil.

Based on what HotWingsAgenda has said,  I surmise he is leans towards Theravada.
 
2013-02-12 02:26:22 AM
doglover:

Actually Buddhism is quite well organized and has been from the outset.

The Buddha, the darma, and the sangha.

The Buddha, the teachings, and the community.

You CAAAAAN be a Buddhist alone, but that's a piss poor application of the middle path. Ideally you should be helping others find the way and if not at least easing their suffering. An organized temple, especially one that helps with healing, sickness, and deaths, is almost essential for a Buddhist community. If you're not organized, you're helping fewer people than you could be, right? If grieving mothers don't have a monk to talk to, who'll help them be strong in front of their kids? Who'll keep your ancestor's graves clear of vines and bird shiat?


Seems like every religion is involved in some sort of debauchery these days, eh? Also, as doglover says, Buddhism is, indeed, a religion...
 
2013-02-12 02:35:01 AM
i.imgur.com
 
Displayed 50 of 123 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report