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(NYPost)   Chris Brown smashes his Porsche into a wall, but only because he loves it so much   (nypost.com) divider line 90
    More: Stupid, Clive Davis, Frank Ocean, plowing, B star, Grammys  
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8851 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Feb 2013 at 2:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-02-11 09:03:26 PM
911 Turbo Cabriolet?

Add another reason to curb stomp this asshole.....
 
2013-02-11 09:27:05 PM

The Muthaship: 911 Turbo Cabriolet?

Add another reason to curb stomp this asshole.....


Meh. I guarantee that it's a loaner car from some "sponsor."
 
2013-02-12 12:12:30 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Meh. I guarantee that it's a loaner car from some "sponsor."


Lindsay Lohan's Rent-a-Wreck.

$43,000 per day and $78 per mile.
 
2013-02-12 12:21:33 AM
Adequate work, Subby.
 
2013-02-12 02:05:36 AM
AAAA+ Headline. Would click again!
 
2013-02-12 02:06:54 AM
But he's so talented.
 
2013-02-12 02:08:04 AM
That'll do, Subby. That'll do.
 
2013-02-12 02:08:40 AM
I'm sorry I meant to say multitalented.
 
2013-02-12 02:09:12 AM
he says hes being chased by paparazzi.  sure, believable .  then the paparazzi says "oh we wernt chasing him thats a lie" but .. they the paparazzi has pictures of him and his crashed car. lol.  no we wernt chasing him, but we did just happen to be here to take pics of his crashed car. lolz
 
2013-02-12 02:09:14 AM
He told cops he smashed the black sports car into a residential wall while being chased by paparazzi.

But a photo agency that had lensmen nearby denied the claim.


LOL
 
2013-02-12 02:11:14 AM
Not gonna RTFA but... so what if paparazzi were taking pictures of him? That's not an excuse to drive like a dillhole.

Not that Brown needs an excuse to act like a dillhole.
 
2013-02-12 02:12:27 AM
Excellent headline.
 
2013-02-12 02:12:46 AM
Shame those cars are built so well.
 
2013-02-12 02:15:54 AM
Chris Brown smacked that biatch up
 
2013-02-12 02:16:57 AM
FTFURL: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/chris_car_takes_beating_mI5CU Xzkn3XkWIwJSOcZ2N

[facepalm.jpg]

/Good headline, though.
 
2013-02-12 02:17:29 AM
I can't help but think any pictures of him not beating a woman can only help his career at this point so why not just drive safely and let them click away?

Oh! That's right. I completely forgot he's an incredibly giant arsedoucheholedick.

/Sorry, my mistake
 
2013-02-12 02:19:10 AM
I think it's about time Chris Brown's handlers realize he has a pre-Grammys issue and just needs to be locked in his suite alone until showtime.
 
2013-02-12 02:21:33 AM
I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
i2.cdnds.net
 
2013-02-12 02:25:28 AM

farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]


I believe she's determining if he's edible.
 
2013-02-12 02:29:53 AM

Man On Pink Corner: Shame those cars are built so well.


Next time, he needs to be in a Pinto.
 
2013-02-12 02:32:00 AM
Headline of the year candidate.
 
2013-02-12 02:32:42 AM

Robert1966: Man On Pink Corner: Shame those cars are built so well.

Next time, he needs to be in a Pinto.


I've said it before, but if he died in a flaming auto wreck the only thing of value lost would be the car.
 
2013-02-12 02:54:11 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]

I believe she's determining if he's edible.


Oh that got a chuckle. Good onya.
 
2013-02-12 03:03:49 AM
He wore a white suit to an event where the majority of people wore black tie (or at least tuxedos in dark colors--I'm looking at you, John Mayer). Not only is he a douchebag, but he's a liar, and he deserves to be in prison for domestic violence.

And I'm more inclined to believe the photographers than that sack of shiat.
 
2013-02-12 03:11:59 AM

RandomRandom: Headline of the year candidate.


Agreed
 
2013-02-12 03:14:49 AM
On the other side of his neck is going to be a tattoo of his busted up ride.
 
2013-02-12 03:19:16 AM
It's hard to imagine that enough people bought copies of his shiat music to afford a car.
 
2013-02-12 03:23:50 AM

tukatz: RandomRandom: Headline of the year candidate.

Agreed


Definitely in the running.

Has the fact that Chris Brown is undeniably a irredeemably daft asshat been mentioned quite enough yet?

I really think some points can't be over-emphasized.

In Brown's defense here perhaps he was speeding in order to return the suit he borrowed for the Grammy Awards.

Word has it the Man From Glad had a supermarket to open early the next day.

*blink*
 
2013-02-12 03:27:26 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: The Muthaship: 911 Turbo Cabriolet?

Add another reason to curb stomp this asshole.....

Meh. I guarantee that it's a loaner car from some "sponsor."


Rihanna bought it for him after she acted stupid and pissed him off. This was her apology.
 
2013-02-12 03:48:43 AM

MaliFinn: It's hard to imagine that enough people bought copies of his shiat music to afford a car.


That's an insult to music and sh*t.
 
2013-02-12 03:52:27 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]

I believe she's determining if he's edible.


Since she's not eaten him yet, I can only surmise that she can not only sing damn well but she has good taste.
 
2013-02-12 04:24:07 AM
The only thing more difficult to destroy then a Porsche is a Toyota Hilux.
 
2013-02-12 05:17:56 AM
Early HOTY candidate.
+1.
 
2013-02-12 05:28:46 AM

detroitdoesntsuckthatbad: farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]

I believe she's determining if he's edible.


Your comment reminded me of this:

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-12 05:58:19 AM
Check driving off on the list of things this guy's bad at

/music, check
//relationships, double check
///driving, gotta hit that harder than the last thing, triple friggin check
 
2013-02-12 06:24:05 AM

sift: he says hes being chased by paparazzi.  sure, believable .  then the paparazzi says "oh we wernt chasing him thats a lie" but .. they the paparazzi has pictures of him and his crashed car. lol.  no we wernt chasing him, but we did just happen to be here to take pics of his crashed car. lolz


You've obviously never been to LA. The paparazzi are everywhere. Usually outnumber the cops when they're handling a call.  They don't need to chase. Just text a buddy already in the area. They really do come out of nowhere.

I'm not defending Slappy McAttention-whore.  Just saying, running from them never works.  Well, it did once in Paris.
 
2013-02-12 06:49:04 AM

sudo give me more cowbell: Early HOTY candidate.
+1.


what he said.
 
2013-02-12 07:00:39 AM

NateAsbestos: Not gonna RTFA but... so what if paparazzi were taking pictures of him? That's not an excuse to drive like a dillhole.

Not that Brown needs an excuse to act like a dillhole.


Dillhole? Dillhole? This isn't an episode of That 70s Show.
 
2013-02-12 07:24:54 AM

maram500: He wore a white suit to an event where the majority of people wore black tie (or at least tuxedos in dark colors--I'm looking at you, John Mayer). Not only is he a douchebag, but he's a liar, and he deserves to be in prison for domestic violence.

And I'm more inclined to believe the photographers than that sack of shiat.


It's a sad day when we're more inclined to believe paparazzi than one of their targets. Douchnozzels all around.
 
2013-02-12 07:30:11 AM
Heh. LULZ to subby.
 
2013-02-12 07:31:53 AM

farkingismybusiness: I'm sorry I meant to say multitalented.


He actually uses Autodrive on all of his cars.
 
2013-02-12 07:42:24 AM

Wookie Milson: farkingismybusiness: I'm sorry I meant to say multitalented.

He actually uses Autodrive on all of his cars.


This made me laugh more than subby's headline

/does the engine sound like there's a bee nest stuck in there?
 
2013-02-12 07:56:29 AM
Looks like he already wrecked it when he bought those rims.
 
2013-02-12 08:04:23 AM
Well, a car is like a woman....
 
2013-02-12 08:07:39 AM
R&B bad boy

Wut?

Since when does beating your girlfriend and throwing a Livejournal-esque temper tantrum on Twitter qualify you as a "bad boy"?
 
2013-02-12 08:08:45 AM

Publikwerks: Well, a car is like a woman....


I wanna ride it?
 
2013-02-12 08:32:21 AM
Just one more version of Jerry Lewis, Glen Campbell, Nick Nolte, Lindsey or Amy.

He should be gone soon enough, IOW's don't have to worry about growing old and reading about some mindless stunts that've been done before.
Wait till he starts screwing the record companies.  He'll just disappear off the radar . . .
 
2013-02-12 08:33:48 AM
His fans say the car deserved it.
 
2013-02-12 08:37:18 AM
Well done subby, well done.
 
2013-02-12 08:49:21 AM
Why does this shiathead still have a career?
 
2013-02-12 09:07:41 AM
I am going to try that excuse if I ever get into an accident.  "I was being chased by paparazzi."

/never had even one paparazzi interested in me.
 
2013-02-12 09:14:40 AM
It's only Tuesday... but that's the headline of the week
 
2013-02-12 09:15:54 AM

Marcintosh: Just one more version of Jerry Lewis, Glen Campbell, Nick Nolte, Lindsey or Amy.

He should be gone soon enough, IOW's don't have to worry about growing old and reading about some mindless stunts that've been done before.
Wait till he starts screwing the record companies.  He'll just disappear off the radar . . .


Except Glenn Campbell was a hell of a musician.
 
2013-02-12 09:19:06 AM
Why does he love the wall?
 
2013-02-12 09:21:45 AM
Chris...Bobby...all them Browns look alike to me.
 
2013-02-12 09:29:27 AM
That cop looks familiar.
www.nypost.com
 
2013-02-12 09:37:28 AM

TheOther: Chris...Bobby...all them Browns look alike to me.


I was thinking Bobby should have a paternity test done.  Chris sure seems like kin.
 
2013-02-12 09:38:39 AM
The Porsche's gonna write a great song about this. You don't know him like she does.
 
kab
2013-02-12 09:43:15 AM
Mandatory airbags ruin everything.
 
GBB
2013-02-12 09:52:55 AM

farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]


Either way, Chris, and the rest of us, can't figure out WTF she's saying.

"But ... you sing in English.  Can you just sing it to me???"
 
2013-02-12 09:53:04 AM
At least he didn't drive it into the Ocean
 
2013-02-12 10:06:30 AM

rattchett: NateAsbestos: Not gonna RTFA but... so what if paparazzi were taking pictures of him? That's not an excuse to drive like a dillhole.

Not that Brown needs an excuse to act like a dillhole.

Dillhole? Dillhole? This isn't an episode of That 70s Show.


Do you deny he's a dillhole?

Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?
 
2013-02-12 10:21:24 AM

p the boiler: At least he didn't drive it into the Ocean


No, but three members of his entourage did.
 
2013-02-12 10:58:45 AM
Celebrities who whine about paparazzi are like hookers who whine about their johns. If they really didn't want that level of attention, they'd at the very least move the fark out of LA. As far as running away from them, if he really wanted to do that, he'd learn to ride a motorcycle. Lane splitting/filtering in heavy LA traffic will leave any paparazzi in the dust. Plus there's the added bonus of increased risk of injury or death. So don't worry about ATGATT Chris, that's just for pussies, especially full face helmets and back protectors.
 
2013-02-12 11:11:27 AM

LordJiro: Why does this shiathead still have a career?


Because some women like s&m?
 
2013-02-12 11:23:13 AM

NateAsbestos: rattchett: NateAsbestos: Not gonna RTFA but... so what if paparazzi were taking pictures of him? That's not an excuse to drive like a dillhole.

Not that Brown needs an excuse to act like a dillhole.

Dillhole? Dillhole? This isn't an episode of That 70s Show.

Do you deny he's a dillhole?

Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?


I read that as, "arrogant, TAINTLESS cocksucker..."

I didn't really need the mental images from that.
 
2013-02-12 11:23:35 AM
I bet his drawers were Chris Brown after he saw the damage. :O
 
2013-02-12 11:28:07 AM

Head_Shot: NateAsbestos: rattchett: NateAsbestos: Not gonna RTFA but... so what if paparazzi were taking pictures of him? That's not an excuse to drive like a dillhole.

Not that Brown needs an excuse to act like a dillhole.

Dillhole? Dillhole? This isn't an episode of That 70s Show.

Do you deny he's a dillhole?

Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?

I read that as, "arrogant, TAINTLESS cocksucker..."

I didn't really need the mental images from that.


Like an abscess? Mike Watt had a taint abscess several years ago, nearly died because of it. But it inspired an album, which was pretty damn good. The album's also the reason I remember the taint abscess.

/taint abscess
 
2013-02-12 11:29:52 AM
"No one was cited in the smashup."

"No one was cited in the smashup."

"No one was cited in the smashup."
 
2013-02-12 11:57:32 AM
He barely dinged the thing.  Now, if he had wound up like that Ryan Dunn douchebag, there would still be no tears, because this is Chris Brown we're talking about.
 
2013-02-12 12:02:07 PM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: R&B bad boy

Wut?

Since when does beating your girlfriend and throwing a Livejournal-esque temper tantrum on Twitter qualify you as a "bad boy"?


The bolded part would be what makes him bad.  If you still don't understand why, kindly remove yourself from the dating pool.
 
2013-02-12 12:52:53 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: Vegan Meat Popsicle: R&B bad boy

Wut?

Since when does beating your girlfriend and throwing a Livejournal-esque temper tantrum on Twitter qualify you as a "bad boy"?

The bolded part would be what makes him bad.  If you still don't understand why, kindly remove yourself from the dating pool.


I don't think you understand the common use of the phrase "bad boy".
 
2013-02-12 01:16:35 PM
Not clear from the article, He crashed the Porsche because he was in love with the Porsche? Or because he was in love with the Wall?
 
2013-02-12 01:30:47 PM

farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]


My life would be complete if she dropped him with a haymaker
 
2013-02-12 01:40:42 PM
"Hey, I got expensive sh*t and a pretty girl and so I be breakin' dat sh*t, yo.  So, I'm a stah, now, yeah?"  I think it is incumbent upon, nay the duty, of the western world to keep worshiping quasi-literate, violent, tasteless, self-important idiots.  Cause, you know, yeah, boyee.  I think we should all buy him a car a month to wreck and some heavy Max Factor for his girlie and then hang on their every word.
 
2013-02-12 01:48:16 PM
He told cops he smashed the black sports car into a residential wall while being chased by paparazzi.

No, he smashed the black sports car into a residential wall because he can't farking drive for shiat!
 
2013-02-12 03:45:19 PM

NateAsbestos: Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?


Wow you are really angry about shiat that didn't effect you personally.  Funny part is, you probably love Motley Crue.
 
2013-02-12 04:27:56 PM
i218.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 05:44:12 PM

bel4sucks: NateAsbestos: Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?

Wow you are really angry about shiat that didn't effect you personally.  Funny part is, you probably love Motley Crue.


I didn't realize I was all that angry about this. Thanks for letting me know my feelings and musical tastes!
 
2013-02-12 07:42:51 PM

NateAsbestos: bel4sucks: NateAsbestos: Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?

Wow you are really angry about shiat that didn't effect you personally.  Funny part is, you probably love Motley Crue.

I didn't realize I was all that angry about this. Thanks for letting me know my feelings and musical tastes!


You think someone should get prison beatings for a crime that would normally not get a regular person anything but a little time in county or a long probationary period with fines.

Wishing violence on someone that you've never met for a crime the victim doesn't even care about, yeah I'd say you're a little angry.

As for the Crue thing, I took a shot seeing as the demo on this site is a bunch of sheltered ass white "men" over the age of 40.  So yeah, there's a good chance you like them, as well as a shiatload of the others that posted here.
 
2013-02-12 07:57:20 PM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: The My Little Pony Killer: Vegan Meat Popsicle: R&B bad boy

Wut?

Since when does beating your girlfriend and throwing a Livejournal-esque temper tantrum on Twitter qualify you as a "bad boy"?

The bolded part would be what makes him bad.  If you still don't understand why, kindly remove yourself from the dating pool.

I don't think you understand the common use of the phrase "bad boy".


I don't think you understand the way that a woman who likes bad boys thinks.
 
2013-02-12 08:16:53 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: I don't think you understand the way that a woman who likes bad boys thinks.


I don't think I care.
 
2013-02-12 08:53:24 PM

bel4sucks: NateAsbestos: bel4sucks: NateAsbestos: Should I have gone with "arrogant, talentless cocksucker, who would be well served by some prison beatings" instead?

Wow you are really angry about shiat that didn't effect you personally.  Funny part is, you probably love Motley Crue.

I didn't realize I was all that angry about this. Thanks for letting me know my feelings and musical tastes!

You think someone should get prison beatings for a crime that would normally not get a regular person anything but a little time in county or a long probationary period with fines.

Wishing violence on someone that you've never met for a crime the victim doesn't even care about, yeah I'd say you're a little angry.

As for the Crue thing, I took a shot seeing as the demo on this site is a bunch of sheltered ass white "men" over the age of 40.  So yeah, there's a good chance you like them, as well as a shiatload of the others that posted here.


Hahaha, okay, whatever you say buddy.
 
2013-02-12 09:37:50 PM
He's treating objects like women, man.
 
2013-02-13 02:03:08 AM

farkingismybusiness: I'd love to believe she's scolding him here.
[i2.cdnds.net image 618x412]


I haven't actually read up on it but comments I've seen elsewhere say she's telling him off because he was a douchebag and didn't stand up to applaud Frank Ocean (or whatever) winning the Grammy over him.

Whether that's true, I don't know.  Zero interest in the Grammys.
 
2013-02-13 02:21:28 AM
I don't want to alarm anybody, but even a cursory examination of popular culture of the last couple of decades will show that we've largely anointed celebrity on a pack of self-important, utter douchebags, pissy, whiny b*tches who can't even stand to be in the same room with each other, pirates in neckties, drug runners and oil slathered grown men hitting each other with folding chairs.

It's only ironic if you don't actually abandon the stuff that, tout le mondfe, is "culturally significant" in favor of being a full time mong.

In essence, it's like stuffing your face with HoHos, Cheez Whiz, candy bars and Big Macs "ironically" because there's some whole grain cereal in the cupboard.  The wold you feed, folks.

Stop kissing up to people who are famous for being thoughtless c*nts and getting a lot of face time on TeeVee in dog and pony shows that cost 345.00 to produce including editing and doughnuts or for promoting crime over samples of other people's music.  You get what you pay for.
 
2013-02-13 02:24:12 AM

NateAsbestos: Hahaha, okay, whatever you say buddy.


Next time, just tell me ya got nothing.  Truth stings a little huh?
 
2013-02-13 02:26:07 AM
the wolf...
 
2013-02-13 02:27:26 AM

bunner: Stop kissing up to people who are famous for being thoughtless c*nts and getting a lot of face time on TeeVee in dog and pony shows that cost 345.00 to produce including editing and doughnuts or for promoting crime over samples of other people's music.  You get what you pay for.


LOL you literally list NWA in your profile as "la musica"  (*insert massive eyeroll here) and then biatch about promoting crime over samples of other people's music.  farking clueless.
 
2013-02-13 02:32:32 AM

bel4sucks: bunner: Stop kissing up to people who are famous for being thoughtless c*nts and getting a lot of face time on TeeVee in dog and pony shows that cost 345.00 to produce including editing and doughnuts or for promoting crime over samples of other people's music.  You get what you pay for.

LOL you literally list NWA in your profile as "la musica"  (*insert massive eyeroll here) and then biatch about promoting crime over samples of other people's music.  farking clueless.


Speaking of which, I am vastly amused by people who log on here to stir up sh*t from the comfort of their mother's sewing room, so I hope you're not finished.   :  ) NWA was a necessary statement in it's time frame, and the moment has passed.  The clapped out pose remains and the kids spouting dogsh*t in their ass hang pants and bandannas are a lot more clueless than I'll ever be.  But thanks for assuming I care what insult artists think.  It's a slow night.
 
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