Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sun News Network)   There's a good chance the next pope will be Canadian. Ehmen   ( sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line
    More: Interesting, Canadians, NCR, National Catholic Reporter, John Paul II, Gibraltar, pope, Ladbrokes, western hemispheres  
•       •       •

7196 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 6:25 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



178 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2013-02-11 06:50:29 PM  
will this in any way affect my ability to get some poutine (REAL poutine. shredded mozzarella != cheese curds) in the southern half of the USA?
 
2013-02-11 06:50:35 PM  

lolpix: It's weird that they put such elderly people in these positions of power. A person starts to fall out of sync with society as the years go on. Which isn't necessarily terrible, but I don't know that you should be running the show after a late age.


1) Aging is the best thing ever. Slow, fragile, unreliable brains in failing bodies are obviously better than young, fast, fully functional people.

2) God directly watches over his PR rep here on Earth, so Popes must be immortal and never get sick.
 
2013-02-11 06:51:16 PM  
The next pope will be an Obama recess appointment...
 
2013-02-11 06:53:17 PM  

fusillade762: Pointy Tail of Satan: Out with the bratwurst, and in with the poutine and maple syrup!

The official line is Canada 3/1 over Guana 4/1! Rounding the final pole.......

That's a shiatty country.


Don't make fun of our next Poop.
 
2013-02-11 06:53:56 PM  

lolpix: It's weird that they put such elderly people in these positions of power. A person starts to fall out of sync with society as the years go on. Which isn't necessarily terrible, but I don't know that you should be running the show after a late age.


Yeah, but they are closer to dying, thus God
 
2013-02-11 06:56:02 PM  
Goodbye to the Dick Cheney of popes.
 
2013-02-11 06:56:26 PM  

Fano: Yeah, but they are closer to dying, thus God


By that logic, we should be touting Adam Lanza and James Holmes as living saints.
 
2013-02-11 06:56:47 PM  
What the new Popemobile may look like.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-11 06:57:48 PM  

indylaw: Goodbye to the Dick Cheney of popes.


"Altare pueri saluta liberatores "
 
2013-02-11 07:00:54 PM  
These are the Popes I know I know, these are the Popes I know!

www.dvdtalk.com
 
2013-02-11 07:01:08 PM  
His staff will be a hockey stick.
 
2013-02-11 07:01:43 PM  

flucto: WippitGuud: TheManofPA: Tim Hortons to become the holy sacrament

It isn't already?

What, it's the only readily available thing that tastes worse than the cracker thingies?


"Eat this Timbit and remember me"

"Drink of this Molson..."
 
2013-02-11 07:02:11 PM  
I dub him the Canadope.
 
2013-02-11 07:02:22 PM  
I think the black guy is gonna get it.
 
2013-02-11 07:02:34 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

What's the principal doin' with her, O Lord?
Who's that guy, is he screwing with her?
What's her perfume? Tigress by Fabergé, amen.
She makes me cream my jeans, O Jesus
When she's coming my way, Lord.
 
2013-02-11 07:03:51 PM  

the801: will this in any way affect my ability to get some poutine (REAL poutine. shredded mozzarella != cheese curds) in the southern half of the USA?


You'll eat your biscuits and gravy and be happy, dammit!  We need to enforce strict boundary lines in our regional artery exploding dishes.

/you're right that shredded mozzarella is BS compared to real curds, though
//I live in a state surrounded by Canada on two sides and I either have to drive an hour or two or wait until my brother visits from Wisconsin to get decent curds
///that's probably a good thing
 
2013-02-11 07:04:12 PM  

Huron77: The next pope will be an Obama recess appointment...


If it's Arinze, my God, the derp we're going to hear.

Though realistically, the papacy has followed the following nationality:

217- Italy
17- France
13- Greece
8- Germany
6- Syria
3- Indeterminate locations in Roman Africa (along the Mediterranean, most likely Algeria, Tunisia or Libya)
2- Portugal
2- Spain
1- Netherlands
1- Palestine
1- Poland
1- United Kingdom

Count on it staying in Europe.
 
2013-02-11 07:05:04 PM  
I wonder if the current Pope gets to vote? They don't often have a live Pope when the next one is elected. He could still be a Cardinal unless he resigns that office as well. Could be a clever move on his part to ensure a conservative is elected. Unless he has a lot of enemies, he could carry a fairly sizeable number of votes if the voting was tight, or at least eliminate a number of liberal candidates in the first round of voting.

As for Marc Oullette becoming Pope, maybe next time, but I don't know if he is close enough to the current Pope in doctrine. He's conservative by North American standards but is he conservative enough?

It's very likely that a similar American candidate would be right out of the running barring Divine Intervention. Not only is the American church too liberal for much of the top ranks and the new churches in Africa and Latin America, some of them still burning with witch-hunting fervour (literally burning, if you count the witches), but an American would be a political dead-end unless he was walking on water without a scuba thingie just in case of a sudden squall or lapse in Faith.

I don't think a Canadian would be as politically suspect, but he wouldn't be a fav unless he was orthodox to the bone and popular with the New Christians who are increasingly over-whelming Old Europe and Not-so-Old America with their numbers, their youth, and their zeal.

It's nice to dream, but I'm not losing a lot of sleep.

Then again, I'll have to update my family tree. I'm sure there's more than a couple of Oullettes in there.

I don't think I have a Pope in my collection. A couple of French Canadian saints, scores of bishops and archbishops, hundreds of priests, but no Pope yet. I'm descended from a few Roman Catholic bishops from the old days when they were still allowed to marry and have children (at least before becoming bishop).

Don't be surprised if a dark horse is elected Pope. Or a red, white, or yellow horse. We've only got a couple of Popes left in Saint Malachy's list, although he may have missed a few. The last Pope is supposed to be a Peter, just like the first one. Maybe he'll be Jewish.
 ; )
 
2013-02-11 07:05:52 PM  

Dragonflew: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 450x378]

What's the principal doin' with her, O Lord?
Who's that guy, is he screwing with her?
What's her perfume? Tigress by Fabergé, amen.
She makes me cream my jeans, O Jesus
When she's coming my way, Lord.


Hah!
 
2013-02-11 07:06:04 PM  

skinink: These are the Popes I know I know, these are the Popes I know!

[www.dvdtalk.com image 310x307]


You magnificent bastard.  Now that's gonna be in my head all.  Freaking.  Day.

/Most of us are Italian
//but some of us are not
///we all have our own hands
////but we come from different Moms!
 
2013-02-11 07:07:07 PM  
So sorta like my girlfriend?
 
2013-02-11 07:07:13 PM  

semiotix: I dub him the Canadope.


College of Cadanals

/Canadulls?
 
2013-02-11 07:07:48 PM  
Can we write-in William Shatner as a candidate?
 
2013-02-11 07:11:44 PM  
the pope said he would not participate in conclave
 
2013-02-11 07:13:57 PM  
Wasn't there a scene in that Tom Hanks movie about selecting the next Pope that showed them going to different reporters, each reporting that their countries candidate was the current favorite?
 
2013-02-11 07:14:20 PM  

ds_4815: What the new Popemobile may look like.

[i.imgur.com image 500x647]


Damn, that's a lot better than my joke
www.thescifiworld.net
Only two of them are Canuck anyway
 
2013-02-11 07:15:27 PM  

brantgoose: I wonder if the current Pope gets to vote? They don't often have a live Pope when the next one is elected. He could still be a Cardinal unless he resigns that office as well.


I thought so too, but according to the papal scholars over at slate.com, one leaves the College of Cardinals in order to become pope.

Even if he were a cardinal, he's over the maximum conclave voting age. Once you turn 80, they don't give your wrinkly ass a say anymore.
 
2013-02-11 07:17:21 PM  
Most African Christians are Protestants. The Cardinals would have to be among the world's biggest idiots to elect a very young black man to be the first non-European Pope just as a 'LOOK HOW INCLUSIVE WE ARE' publicity stunt, especially when he has the name of the man foretold to be occupying that office when the world ends.
 
2013-02-11 07:17:48 PM  
Take off, eh!
 
2013-02-11 07:19:06 PM  

Gosling: Huron77: The next pope will be an Obama recess appointment...

If it's Arinze, my God, the derp we're going to hear.

Though realistically, the papacy has followed the following nationality:

217- Italy
17- France
13- Greece
8- Germany
6- Syria
3- Indeterminate locations in Roman Africa (along the Mediterranean, most likely Algeria, Tunisia or Libya)
2- Portugal
2- Spain
1- Netherlands
1- Palestine
1- Poland
1- United Kingdom

Count on it staying in Europe.


The trend is towards more worldliness though. 80%+ of the popes have been Italian, but neither of the past 2 have been Italian. I actually expect them to leave Europe for this selection. Lots of pressure for the Cardinals to leave their little European bubble.

Anyone have guesses for the papal name?
 
2013-02-11 07:20:40 PM  

Supes: Gosling: Huron77: The next pope will be an Obama recess appointment...

If it's Arinze, my God, the derp we're going to hear.

Though realistically, the papacy has followed the following nationality:

217- Italy
17- France
13- Greece
8- Germany
6- Syria
3- Indeterminate locations in Roman Africa (along the Mediterranean, most likely Algeria, Tunisia or Libya)
2- Portugal
2- Spain
1- Netherlands
1- Palestine
1- Poland
1- United Kingdom

Count on it staying in Europe.

The trend is towards more worldliness though. 80%+ of the popes have been Italian, but neither of the past 2 have been Italian. I actually expect them to leave Europe for this selection. Lots of pressure for the Cardinals to leave their little European bubble.

Anyone have guesses for the papal name?


I wouldn't bet against John Paul III.
 
2013-02-11 07:23:53 PM  

doyner: Supes: Anyone have guesses for the papal name?

I wouldn't bet against John Jean Paul III.


FTFQuebecers
 
2013-02-11 07:24:39 PM  
if they elect a non-white non-european i will buy friggin everyone in here totalfark.  no way in hell they elect a non-white.  theyre like the republican party, but not as tolerant.

heck i think even brown spanish/portuguese types are extremely unlikely.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:03 PM  

Supes: Anyone have guesses for the papal name?


They have a script to follow.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:54 PM  
I've read stories the the next Pope will be African, Asian (Chinese specifically), American, Canadian, Italian, and Brazilian.

The Cardinals will conclave then we will know who the next Pope will "be"
 
2013-02-11 07:28:20 PM  
Called it, dweebs.

http://www.fark.com/comments/7585862/82438205#c82438205

/I demand $50 for each use of that concept.
 
2013-02-11 07:29:47 PM  
Supes:
Anyone have guesses for the papal name?

Pope Jesus II
 
2013-02-11 07:30:33 PM  

Supes: Anyone have guesses for the papal name?


I think it'd be a good idea if they made a new one as a way of symbolizing a fresh start. Besides, the Roman numerals are getting a bit high. I don't think we need John 49ers-55-Broncos-10 or Benedict Redskins-27-Dolphins-17 or Clement Raiders-27-Eagles-10 or Innocent Steelers-31-Rams-19.
 
2013-02-11 07:31:05 PM  

skinink: These are the Popes I know I know, these are the Popes I know!


Thanks for reminding me of that song, and for the lulz.
+1
 
2013-02-11 07:32:48 PM  

TheManofPA: Tim Hortons to become the holy sacrament


If they replace the cannibal crackers with banana Tim Bits I'll renounce my atheist ways and accept the body of Christ.

/bring back banana Tim Bits
 
2013-02-11 07:35:06 PM  
Degoing to have a Wopulatity contest to see who Guinnies up the most votes.
 
2013-02-11 07:36:28 PM  
Anyone needing Cheese Curds, here's a recipe, you need to buy cultures but other than that it's fairly simple:

http://www.cheesemaking.com/Recipe_CheeseCurds.html

Even in Ontario it's a bit of a pain to find cheese curds and they can be expensive. Damn Quebecois eat them up.
 
2013-02-11 07:36:29 PM  

Snarfangel: Can't we have an American Pope, and just sew a maple leaf flag to his vestments?


Don't give Trump any ideas.

/Pope Bieber
 
2013-02-11 07:38:53 PM  
Wanted: New leadership for the largest organized homosexual pedophilia club in the world.

Apply within:

investorplace.com
 
2013-02-11 07:39:01 PM  

KrispyKritter: I just hope no future Popes are ex-Nazis.


About that:
 
2013-02-11 07:39:47 PM  

shortymac: Anyone needing Cheese Curds, here's a recipe, you need to buy cultures but other than that it's fairly simple:

http://www.cheesemaking.com/Recipe_CheeseCurds.html

Even in Ontario it's a bit of a pain to find cheese curds and they can be expensive. Damn Quebecois eat them up.


God what I wouldn't give for some fried cheese curds right now.
 
2013-02-11 07:41:55 PM  

ariseatex: Collection of betting odds for Pope

My faves:
666/1 Richard Dawkins


That is awesome.
 
2013-02-11 07:41:59 PM  
CanadiEn, subby. Anyways, this Turcotte dude is old-school Catholic. If he were a Muslim he'd be considered fundamentalist.
 
2013-02-11 07:42:46 PM  
Blame Canada budy
 
2013-02-11 07:44:30 PM  

lolpix: It's weird that they put such elderly people in these positions of power. A person starts to fall out of sync with society as the years go on. Which isn't necessarily terrible, but I don't know that you should be running the show after a late age.


We don't want Popes who reign as long as monarchs. At least, that's what I think is the reason. Not entirely sure.
 
Displayed 50 of 178 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report