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(USA Today)   Day 2: The situation has grown dire. Passengers have eaten the carved watermelon that once adorned the now-empty buffet table. Without leisure activities, factions have formed. The Indonesian room stewards have folded towels into improvised weapons   (usatoday.com) divider line 47
    More: Scary, cruise line, fire suppression, Carnival Cruise Lines, Yucatan Peninsula, petty officers, activity theory  
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23555 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-11 03:54:45 PM  
10 votes:
"You have died of dysentery."
2013-02-11 03:49:00 PM  
7 votes:

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.
2013-02-11 03:04:45 PM  
6 votes:
They could make it home if the stupid trash robot would just give the plant to the captain.
2013-02-11 04:36:13 PM  
4 votes:

oldfarthenry: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"

My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?


maybe both!
venturebrosblog.com
2013-02-11 04:10:19 PM  
4 votes:
images.wikia.com
simpsonswiki.net

The Simpsons did it
GBB
2013-02-11 03:50:43 PM  
4 votes:
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
/oblig
2013-02-11 03:50:32 PM  
4 votes:
Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.
2013-02-11 03:47:46 PM  
4 votes:
Soon it will be a ghost ship whose halls are haunted by the horrid humans who once hungered for each others flesh
2013-02-11 05:19:13 PM  
3 votes:

JerkStore: Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...


24.media.tumblr.com

False Alarm!
2013-02-11 05:05:51 PM  
3 votes:

TV's Vinnie: Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.


What a Carnival cruise might look like:

www.fbdindy.com
2013-02-11 05:00:06 PM  
3 votes:
Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...

aminddivideddotcom.files.wordpress.com
2013-02-11 04:16:29 PM  
3 votes:

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


i521.photobucket.com
2013-02-11 03:59:49 PM  
3 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?


Just make a note of the wind direction
2013-02-11 08:40:15 PM  
2 votes:

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


s12.postimage.org
2013-02-11 06:00:33 PM  
2 votes:
www.wired.com

Your Bartender
2013-02-11 05:05:40 PM  
2 votes:
Carnival says tugboats are en route to the Carnival Triumph to tow it to Progreso, Mexico so that passengers can get off eat soup.

FTFY
2013-02-11 04:08:46 PM  
2 votes:

one0nine: A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.


Friends of ours are on it as well. I think the worst thing about it for them is now everyone knows they went on a Carnival cruise.
2013-02-11 04:03:25 PM  
2 votes:

justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction


Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.
2013-02-11 04:02:01 PM  
2 votes:
Cruise ship room stewards regularly fold towels into vicious animals:

3.bp.blogspot.com

/stubmitter
2013-02-11 04:00:55 PM  
2 votes:

robohobo: /also, go on a real vacation, who the hell goes on a cruise? thousands of cattle trapped on a boat. seems smart. rent a private yacht for a week, seriously.


"Rent"? Fark that. You sound poor...
2013-02-11 03:54:36 PM  
2 votes:
Carnival is offering a cruise credit, because I'm sure after this experience everyone on that boat wants another cruise.
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  
2 votes:
Ladyfingers.  They taste just like ladyfingers.
2013-02-11 02:30:11 PM  
2 votes:
I liked this one.
2013-02-11 10:02:11 PM  
1 votes:
The bf and I took a cruise 2 weeks ago. On the trip back up the Gulf, I had the irrational fear that we would break down and all the middle-aged ladies doing the cha cha slide the day before would turn cannibal.
2013-02-11 09:50:51 PM  
1 votes:

birdistasty: Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....


Hey! We have........stuff.. here.
2013-02-11 08:13:53 PM  
1 votes:

Delay: MrSteve007: I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.

Thanks for the very informative post. However, you should know this is Fark and you will be ridiculed.


No, here we RESPECT whores.
2013-02-11 07:21:11 PM  
1 votes:

thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.


media.comicvine.com
2013-02-11 06:46:30 PM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: [www.wired.com image 400x353]

Your Bartender

www.wired.com

Damn, Isaac got surly in his old age.


i297.photobucket.com

/Hot, like disco in the 1970s.
2013-02-11 06:26:50 PM  
1 votes:
I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.

What it all comes down to is getting the deals. I find most of the deals either through direct mailers from the lines, or travelzoo.com When I cruise, I usually try to get a rate of between $35 and 50 dollars a day. If you look for last minute cruises, or repositioning cruises, you can get it even cheaper. I've done it as low as $19 a day (a one night from Seattle to Vancouver on Norwegian).

IMO, the short 3-4 day duration cruises are a PITA; having to go through the frenzied boarding and disembarking process. 7-day cruises are hectic, as it takes a good 4 days for folks to get comfortable with the routine. 10-day cruises are good. and 25+ day cruises are a joy. Once you start racking up rewards points, and/or being a shareholder in a company, it can become ridiculously cheap to cruise. On most cruises, I get between $50 and $250 of complementary spending cash aboard, which I use for drinks and the spa. If you book shore excursions directly, and not through the ship, you can get some pretty good rates. (The folks on cruise critic are an excellent resource). I also highly recommend getting a balcony and getting the dining room dinners sent via room service (this is a commentary service on all lines)

If it weren't for cruising on the cheap, I wouldn't be able to visit places like this for a couple C-notes (Bora Bora):
sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net

On most cruises I go on now, I can bring along a 3rd or 4th person for free - and due to an interesting turn of events, was able to go in December on a 25-day roundtrip cruise from San Diego to Tahiti for $900, in a window cabin w/ $250 credit.

/headed to do 10-days in the Mediterranean in 3 weeks (Norwegian). $500 per person, balcony cabin. $100 credit.
//leaving for a 35-day double Trans-Atlantic from Boston to North Atlantic/North Sea countries in July (Holland America).
2013-02-11 06:15:26 PM  
1 votes:

akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.


What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.
2013-02-11 05:55:07 PM  
1 votes:

12349876: If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises. If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...

You could do all that (other than maybe the X factor rejects) with a hell of a lot less hassle at an all inclusive resort.


I've done that, too -- Cancun, Cozumel, & Ixtapa -- it was OK, but kind of lost interest after a bad date with Mr. Noro (aka Colonoscopy Prep of the Gods)...

/The hotel staff presentation of Mayan Cultural Dance blew goats
//I applauded heartily after picturing the lead dancer with my heart quivering in his hand
2013-02-11 05:49:52 PM  
1 votes:
omnipotentpoobah.com

C-130E Honeybucket. Yeah, you put a plastic bag in there. Never needed to use it, thankfully, but I've seen many a strong man pace back and forth in the cargo compartment before finally giving in.
2013-02-11 05:34:20 PM  
1 votes:
Twelfth Day (301 hours): Still no fatigue. Temperature 99. Skies fair. Winds calm. Position 28S by 188W. The mate have eat of a tainted Gouda and muft be lafhed to the mizzen. Difpleasure on the foredeck, water maggoty. Three more given up to scurvey. May God help us in our tryalle...
2013-02-11 05:28:31 PM  
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis...

What a Triumph passenger might look like:


1.bp.blogspot.com
 Unless he's got an allen wrench she wont be passangering that bike.  Or she's gonna need a bag of ice after that ride.
2013-02-11 05:10:44 PM  
1 votes:
Heck, on the Titanic they pretty much got off all at once. Sorta.
2013-02-11 04:39:18 PM  
1 votes:

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


Jesus.... get out of my head!!!!
2013-02-11 04:37:58 PM  
1 votes:

Raug the Dwarf: Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.

Something similar happened to my best friend in high school.  He and another guy were screwing around in the locker room, snapping towels at each other.  The other guy hit my buddy in the nut, causing it to swell.  The towel caught him in the deferens and cut off the blood or something.  His nut swelled up to about softball size.  Had to be rushed to the hospital to fix it.

So, those stories your coach tells you about snapping towels isn't all bullshiat.  I was there, I saw what can happen.  *shudders*


www.awn.com

"You were saying? To the wet towel wielding survivor of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms?"
2013-02-11 04:34:34 PM  
1 votes:

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


I'm going to have vivid nightmares tonight.

I'd better start drinking heavily.

/thanks?
2013-02-11 04:33:58 PM  
1 votes:

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"


My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?
2013-02-11 04:13:37 PM  
1 votes:
If you need dialysis, a cruise does not sound like the best choice fo vacation.
xcv
2013-02-11 04:08:39 PM  
1 votes:

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


And it becomes a lesson in trickle-down economics when the elites in their upper level suites start dropping bodily waste onto the balconies and portholes of the lower classes literally beneath them.
2013-02-11 04:01:40 PM  
1 votes:
At that rate day 5 will look like this

images.wikia.com
2013-02-11 04:00:26 PM  
1 votes:

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?


Probably not an option for the geriatric set.

Still, I'd expect that they could rig SOMETHING up.  Remember - Piss WITH the wind, not against it.
2013-02-11 03:56:47 PM  
1 votes:
Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all
2013-02-11 03:53:25 PM  
1 votes:

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Google would be your friend, but the easy explanation was that in the days of sailing ships, the bathroom was always in the front of the ship - the 'head'.  This is because the ship would always more or less be in the position where the wind was coming from the aft of the ship, blowing waste and any nasty odors away from the ship.
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  
1 votes:

pacochu: Progresso Mexico.


mmmmmm soup
2013-02-11 03:47:55 PM  
1 votes:
My co worker is on that ship!!  Good speed old man!
 
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