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(USA Today)   Day 2: The situation has grown dire. Passengers have eaten the carved watermelon that once adorned the now-empty buffet table. Without leisure activities, factions have formed. The Indonesian room stewards have folded towels into improvised weapons   (usatoday.com) divider line 220
    More: Scary, cruise line, fire suppression, Carnival Cruise Lines, Yucatan Peninsula, petty officers, activity theory  
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23548 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-11 04:12:19 PM

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


Sounds like the Nature Cruise of the Century!
 
2013-02-11 04:13:37 PM
If you need dialysis, a cruise does not sound like the best choice fo vacation.
 
2013-02-11 04:13:41 PM

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all


I have a sister in law and her husband who go on 2 or 3 cruises a year.  They are addicted to them.  I keep waiting for one of these tragedies to befall them some day.  They are the kind of people who wouldn't last 5 minutes in something like that.  I often tell my wife that some day if there is ever an apocalyptic event, they will some of the first to be eaten.
 
2013-02-11 04:14:28 PM

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all


After the Costa Concordia capsized, my father and I talked about it. Being that he was a former sailor, I think his words carried some particular weight: "I've seen disasters with people trained for them, and that was farking chaos. I don't even want to think about disasters with untrained people."

Personally, I like to think of the safety booklets from 'Fight Club'. They're a roughly accurate depiction of how people act when put under sudden distress.
 
2013-02-11 04:15:45 PM

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


I used to work for a guy who delivered sailboats (mostly 25-ft and above) for "snowbirds" who didn't want the bother of sailing their boats from, say, the DC area to NC's Outer Banks when the seasons changed. The pay sucked, but, hey, a couple days on a nice boat with good beer and decent food.

Since part of the contract was to clean the head at the end of the voyage, we never used it. For male passengers, point Mr Happy downwind over the rail. For female passengers and/or getting rid of the Mexican food from last night, the swimmer's ladder on the stern worked just fine. The rush of water over your bum is remarkably relaxing.

On the one occasion we sailed a larger boat, we used the ice bucket from the galley. At the end of the voyage it was accidentally "lost" overboard. Oops. We charged it off to expenses.
 
2013-02-11 04:16:29 PM

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


i521.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 04:22:05 PM

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all



Imust agree with iheartscotch - don't forget the superstaph infections.  It'd feel like being a chicken in a factory farm.  Yuck.
 
2013-02-11 04:23:15 PM
Lets see... Ships keep having power failures, the occasional crash, and the probability there's at least one serial killer working for the cruise lines throwing people overboard and having their actions covered up as suicides there's a lot of reasons not to go on a cruise. At least with the giant ships.

I wanna do Galapagos. The cruise ship's a large yacht because there's no deep harbors.
 
2013-02-11 04:25:29 PM
I'm waiting for the Australian novovirus to sweep through the ship.
 
2013-02-11 04:27:47 PM

oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova


That movie wasn't so bad...
 
2013-02-11 04:30:02 PM

oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova


Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"
 
2013-02-11 04:30:13 PM
I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,
And thy skinny hand, so brown.'
-Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding-Guest!
This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
 
2013-02-11 04:32:12 PM
I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.
 
2013-02-11 04:32:54 PM

Firethorn: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Google would be your friend, but the easy explanation was that in the days of sailing ships, the bathroom was always in the front of the ship - the 'head'.  This is because the ship would always more or less be in the position where the wind was coming from the aft of the ship, blowing waste and any nasty odors away from the ship.


I'm kind of surprised they didn't just go overboard - or go in a bucket and toss it overboard.

Also this guy is not amused by the terminology


oh screw it - 2 attempts and unfetchable URLs.

dougthehead. .jpg
 
2013-02-11 04:33:58 PM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"


My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?
 
2013-02-11 04:34:34 PM

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


I'm going to have vivid nightmares tonight.

I'd better start drinking heavily.

/thanks?
 
2013-02-11 04:36:13 PM

oldfarthenry: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"

My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?


maybe both!
venturebrosblog.com
 
2013-02-11 04:37:58 PM

Raug the Dwarf: Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.

Something similar happened to my best friend in high school.  He and another guy were screwing around in the locker room, snapping towels at each other.  The other guy hit my buddy in the nut, causing it to swell.  The towel caught him in the deferens and cut off the blood or something.  His nut swelled up to about softball size.  Had to be rushed to the hospital to fix it.

So, those stories your coach tells you about snapping towels isn't all bullshiat.  I was there, I saw what can happen.  *shudders*


www.awn.com

"You were saying? To the wet towel wielding survivor of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms?"
 
2013-02-11 04:39:18 PM

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


Jesus.... get out of my head!!!!
 
2013-02-11 04:39:58 PM
A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

i1.ytimg.com

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at sp­ecialneeds­[nospam-﹫-backwards]l­a­vi­n­ra­c­*co­m with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.


Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?
 
2013-02-11 04:42:04 PM

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


apollokidz.com
 
2013-02-11 04:46:47 PM
A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis...

What a Triumph passenger might look like:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 04:47:31 PM

jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at specialneeds[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]lavinrac[* image 7x13]com with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?


Can they discriminate against ostensibly disabled people? I'm sure someone requiring dialysis would fall under that protected class.
 
2013-02-11 04:48:07 PM

Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"


Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.
 
2013-02-11 04:49:50 PM

Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"


They lost power. It's not like they hit an iceberg and sank in two hours.
 
2013-02-11 04:50:40 PM

MilesTeg: I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,
And thy skinny hand, so brown.'
-Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding-Guest!
This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.


Leisure Suit Larry?
 
2013-02-11 04:51:38 PM

Felix_T_Cat: Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"

Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


What a bunch of maroons, to sign a thing like that.
 
2013-02-11 04:56:56 PM
I like this (from one of the updates):

"We have no power AT ALL, which means we can't use the toilets, wash our hands, or take a shower," one passenger texted from the vessel, according to a relative who posted the text on cruise fan site CruiseCritic.com.

So...how did they text that, with no power AT ALL?  Can't run toilets, but CAN run the onboard cell system?
 
2013-02-11 04:57:15 PM

Felix_T_Cat: Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"

Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


It doesn't  surprise me. If they want ANYBODY to sail with them in the future they need to make good. They're actually going pretty far above and beyond what I'd expect if I understood the payoff correctly (full refund of this trip, reimbursement of most onboard charges, and a credit for a future cruise). Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.

We like the Disney Cruise Line though... just suits us better (and no, there's no kids, we just really enjoyed our time on the Dream).
 
2013-02-11 04:59:21 PM

Felix_T_Cat: Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


Just because something is in a contract, doesn't mean that it is enforceable. I could very easily slip a clause into one of our leases that states that I'm the President of the United States of America. Just because both parties signed it doesn't mean that I'm the president. Or I could put a sticker on my bumper stating that I'm not responsible for damage to your windshield from rocks that fly off of my vehicle, but the law says differently. Those disclaimers are designed to make people think they have no recourse, when, often times, the victim does have legal recourse.
 
2013-02-11 05:00:06 PM
Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...

aminddivideddotcom.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-11 05:00:17 PM

jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?


The article didn't say the passenger was a hemodialysis patient. I'll bet that the passenger is a CAPD patient who was wacky enough to assume that there would be power on a cruise ship so he could run his cycler. You can do it yourself without power, but if you've only packed 5-liter cycler bags (instead of the usual 2 or 3.5-liter manual bags) you're only going to be able to do a couple of fluid exchanges per day, and you're not going to have a good time.

/Dialysis patient who travels
//Never went on a cruise, never will.
 
2013-02-11 05:03:13 PM

akula: Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.


The "nonrefundable" part assumes that the passenger is responsible for not being able to get on the ship. They can't just take your money, and then say "Oops. The boat's broken. No cruise for you. No can haz refund. Not yours."
 
2013-02-11 05:04:00 PM
Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.

I only wish these events unfolded during that right wing butthurt-soothing cruise last December.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:18 PM

redmid17: jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at specialneeds[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]lavinrac[* image 7x13]com with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?

Can they discriminate against ostensibly disabled people? I'm sure someone requiring dialysis would fall under that protected class.


I'm not sure Liberian, Panamanian etc law carry many protections for discrimination.

RE the Lyubov Orlova, wouldn't a ship floating in Int'l waters be a freebie?  Seems like the cost of towing it to the DR would be worth the salvage value. Perhaps those folks from Shipwreck Men might need a bigger boat.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:40 PM
Carnival says tugboats are en route to the Carnival Triumph to tow it to Progreso, Mexico so that passengers can get off eat soup.

FTFY
 
2013-02-11 05:05:47 PM
I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:51 PM

TV's Vinnie: Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.


What a Carnival cruise might look like:

www.fbdindy.com
 
2013-02-11 05:07:04 PM

one0nine: A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.


If he's anything like a TRUE Farker, he'll be walking down the gangplank with a toothpick in his lips and a solid alibi as to why the passenger list is longer than the actual number of passengers on board when it docked.
 
2013-02-11 05:09:16 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: ChipNASA: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.

I'd never heard of this until Foul Bachelor frog. No one really does this right, I worry about my slow drains enough already.


When I worked at the grand Canyon, it was a common biatch by housekeeping. Tourists did it, but generally from one counry. I want to say Spain, but I'm not sure anymore. Whatever country it was, it was relatively common, and apparently it was common not to bother washing it down the drain very well. Now factor in the fact that the bathrooms were communal group restrooms, and you can imagine why housekeeping was so pissed...
 
2013-02-11 05:10:44 PM
Heck, on the Titanic they pretty much got off all at once. Sorta.
 
2013-02-11 05:11:58 PM

Sin_City_Superhero: akula: Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.

The "nonrefundable" part assumes that the passenger is responsible for not being able to get on the ship. They can't just take your money, and then say "Oops. The boat's broken. No cruise for you. No can haz refund. Not yours."


True, but the way I read it is that if you've booked nonrefundable airfare to get to the cruise, then they'll cover that for you. That's not bad to do it without anybody making a stink.

I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.
 
2013-02-11 05:12:25 PM
""My wife (is) on this cruise and has said the conditions were horrible. No power, no water, having to use the bathroom in bags," Gary Keyes of Baton Rouge,"


sooo.. couples go on cruises without their own spouse?

so... well yeah.... interesting
 
2013-02-11 05:16:23 PM

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


People were "going to the bathroom in bags."  I always pack my own toilet for a cruise.
 
2013-02-11 05:19:13 PM

JerkStore: Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...


24.media.tumblr.com

False Alarm!
 
2013-02-11 05:21:07 PM

iheartscotch: 2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first.


Researchers of catastrophes have found that isn't true in practice.  Sounds noble, though.
 
2013-02-11 05:23:00 PM
I know people who've taken and enjoyed cruises, but under optimum conditions, it sounds kinda like a hostage situation rather than a vacation. Or at best, being on a floating mall/casino/rest home.

Under not-optimum conditions, it sounds like the voyage of the damned.
 
2013-02-11 05:23:10 PM
Soon they'll land in the New World and these minor technical difficulties will be but a memory .
 
2013-02-11 05:27:02 PM
If you can you should hunt down a copy of

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again
 
2013-02-11 05:27:14 PM

DrupyDrawrs: My co worker is on that ship!!  Good speed old man!


hope it was a typo because as an atheist even I know what's what with your god
 
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