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(USA Today)   Day 2: The situation has grown dire. Passengers have eaten the carved watermelon that once adorned the now-empty buffet table. Without leisure activities, factions have formed. The Indonesian room stewards have folded towels into improvised weapons   (usatoday.com) divider line 220
    More: Scary, cruise line, fire suppression, Carnival Cruise Lines, Yucatan Peninsula, petty officers, activity theory  
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23557 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 3:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



220 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-11 02:30:11 PM  
I liked this one.
 
2013-02-11 02:37:23 PM  
Good one, subby.
 
2013-02-11 03:04:45 PM  
They could make it home if the stupid trash robot would just give the plant to the captain.
 
2013-02-11 03:45:55 PM  
You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!
 
2013-02-11 03:47:19 PM  
Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?
 
2013-02-11 03:47:34 PM  
This was the ship the wife and I took out first cruise on back in September. I couldn't imagine being stuck on it or in Progresso Mexico.
 
2013-02-11 03:47:46 PM  
Soon it will be a ghost ship whose halls are haunted by the horrid humans who once hungered for each others flesh
 
2013-02-11 03:47:55 PM  
My co worker is on that ship!!  Good speed old man!
 
2013-02-11 03:48:00 PM  

ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!


When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.
 
2013-02-11 03:49:00 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2013-02-11 03:49:44 PM  

UberDave: They could make it home if the stupid trash robot would just give the plant to the captain.


What you did there. The space hippies see it.
 
2013-02-11 03:50:26 PM  
The dialysis guy from the article:
some people have no business being on cruise ships.
 
2013-02-11 03:50:32 PM  
Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.
 
GBB
2013-02-11 03:50:43 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
/oblig
 
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  

pacochu: Progresso Mexico.


mmmmmm soup
 
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  
Ladyfingers.  They taste just like ladyfingers.
 
2013-02-11 03:53:22 PM  

ChipNASA: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.


I'd never heard of this until Foul Bachelor frog. No one really does this right, I worry about my slow drains enough already.
 
2013-02-11 03:53:25 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Google would be your friend, but the easy explanation was that in the days of sailing ships, the bathroom was always in the front of the ship - the 'head'.  This is because the ship would always more or less be in the position where the wind was coming from the aft of the ship, blowing waste and any nasty odors away from the ship.
 
2013-02-11 03:54:36 PM  
Carnival is offering a cruise credit, because I'm sure after this experience everyone on that boat wants another cruise.
 
2013-02-11 03:54:45 PM  
"You have died of dysentery."
 
2013-02-11 03:55:18 PM  
Serves the douchebags right.

Be a landlubber like me, and that will never happen to you.

/Is jealous of people who take cruises.
 
2013-02-11 03:55:36 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Ship toilets work via a vacuum system instead of swirling water. A courtesy flush applies some heavenly suction on the ol' junk & trunk! Um - so I've heard - somewhere...
 
2013-02-11 03:55:59 PM  

Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.


"Not COOL Butters, you don't just snap a towel in the dick"

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 03:56:25 PM  
A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.
 
2013-02-11 03:56:34 PM  
At least they got the fire under control quickly. In 2011, I was on a cruise where the supercharger for one of the diesels when all kablooy - completely destroying one of the two powerplants for the ship and starting a pretty serious fire.

There's quite the pucker factor when you hear the ship's captain tell the crew to start evacuating decks and prepare muster stations.

/also got to experience a medical evacuation from a ship in December
//being left in Nuku Hiva is no fun
 
2013-02-11 03:56:47 PM  
Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all
 
2013-02-11 03:57:36 PM  
"My wife (is) on this cruise and has said the conditions were horrible. No power, no water, having to use the bathroom in bags,"

Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?
 
2013-02-11 03:57:53 PM  
I'd be all for this happening. I can piss over the side and tank my solid waste for a few days. Hell they are refunding your bar tab. That is hundreds per person right there. Three days of free top shelf (well mid shelf, it is carnival) booze. Wouldn't have to twist my arm.
 
2013-02-11 03:58:01 PM  

born_yesterday: Ladyfingers.  They taste just like ladyfingers.


That's a fantastic short story. I always imagine Nestor Carbonell for some reason.


/also, go on a real vacation, who the hell goes on a cruise? thousands of cattle trapped on a boat. seems smart. rent a private yacht for a week, seriously.
 
2013-02-11 03:59:49 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?


Just make a note of the wind direction
 
2013-02-11 04:00:26 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?


Probably not an option for the geriatric set.

Still, I'd expect that they could rig SOMETHING up.  Remember - Piss WITH the wind, not against it.
 
2013-02-11 04:00:55 PM  

robohobo: /also, go on a real vacation, who the hell goes on a cruise? thousands of cattle trapped on a boat. seems smart. rent a private yacht for a week, seriously.


"Rent"? Fark that. You sound poor...
 
2013-02-11 04:01:40 PM  
At that rate day 5 will look like this

images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-11 04:01:49 PM  

Firethorn: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?

Probably not an option for the geriatric set.


Toss them over the side, too.
 
2013-02-11 04:02:01 PM  
Cruise ship room stewards regularly fold towels into vicious animals:

3.bp.blogspot.com

/stubmitter
 
2013-02-11 04:02:33 PM  
<i>A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis will be transferred off the ship later today to another Carnival vessel, </i>

What is this, the Carnival HMO?  Get him to see a real doctor
 
2013-02-11 04:02:49 PM  
That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"
 
2013-02-11 04:03:25 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction


Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.
 
2013-02-11 04:03:56 PM  
Why don't they just hop in the lifeboats and sail to shore?
 
2013-02-11 04:04:21 PM  

Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.


Something similar happened to my best friend in high school.  He and another guy were screwing around in the locker room, snapping towels at each other.  The other guy hit my buddy in the nut, causing it to swell.  The towel caught him in the deferens and cut off the blood or something.  His nut swelled up to about softball size.  Had to be rushed to the hospital to fix it.

So, those stories your coach tells you about snapping towels isn't all bullshiat.  I was there, I saw what can happen.  *shudders*
 
2013-02-11 04:05:59 PM  
Fark 'em.
They knew what they were getting into when they bought their tickets.
 
2013-02-11 04:07:39 PM  
If you somewhat enjoy self-reliance, stay off those damn cruise ships. When something goes wrong, they become prisoner ships. Stinking, complaining, drunken prisoner ships.
 
2013-02-11 04:07:51 PM  
But is the bar ok?!
 
2013-02-11 04:07:59 PM  
If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova
 
xcv
2013-02-11 04:08:39 PM  

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


And it becomes a lesson in trickle-down economics when the elites in their upper level suites start dropping bodily waste onto the balconies and portholes of the lower classes literally beneath them.
 
2013-02-11 04:08:46 PM  

one0nine: A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.


Friends of ours are on it as well. I think the worst thing about it for them is now everyone knows they went on a Carnival cruise.
 
2013-02-11 04:09:10 PM  
Sure, it's all fun and games in the warmth of your mom's basement.  But, somewhere off the coast of Mexico, it's a Mexican nightmare.  Wait until the survivors begin telling stories of awakening in a bathtub full of icecubes ...
 
2013-02-11 04:09:43 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: I'd be all for this happening. I can piss over the side and tank my solid waste for a few days. Hell they are refunding your bar tab. That is hundreds per person right there. Three days of free top shelf (well mid shelf, it is carnival) booze. Wouldn't have to twist my arm.


We were stuck in Mexico near Cancun during Hurricane Wilma (our honeymoon!).  During the storm we got cold food brought to our rooms by intrepid (see:  desperately poor and unwilling to lose their jobs) staff members.  Post-storm, we had two days of standing in line for questionable food.  Day two the pools were functional and they were pumping out the cisterns (so if you had a brain you would scoop water in your trash can and dump it in your toilet so you could flush).  Day three the bars were up and running and food service was pretty good.  We got an extra six days before they flew us out of there and we were no worse for wear with a ton of free booze and sunshine.  All cool here.
 
2013-02-11 04:10:19 PM  
images.wikia.com
simpsonswiki.net

The Simpsons did it
 
2013-02-11 04:12:13 PM  

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


poop chute, similar to what they use for doing demo on a tall building
 
2013-02-11 04:12:19 PM  

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


Sounds like the Nature Cruise of the Century!
 
2013-02-11 04:13:37 PM  
If you need dialysis, a cruise does not sound like the best choice fo vacation.
 
2013-02-11 04:13:41 PM  

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all


I have a sister in law and her husband who go on 2 or 3 cruises a year.  They are addicted to them.  I keep waiting for one of these tragedies to befall them some day.  They are the kind of people who wouldn't last 5 minutes in something like that.  I often tell my wife that some day if there is ever an apocalyptic event, they will some of the first to be eaten.
 
2013-02-11 04:14:28 PM  

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all


After the Costa Concordia capsized, my father and I talked about it. Being that he was a former sailor, I think his words carried some particular weight: "I've seen disasters with people trained for them, and that was farking chaos. I don't even want to think about disasters with untrained people."

Personally, I like to think of the safety booklets from 'Fight Club'. They're a roughly accurate depiction of how people act when put under sudden distress.
 
2013-02-11 04:15:45 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


I used to work for a guy who delivered sailboats (mostly 25-ft and above) for "snowbirds" who didn't want the bother of sailing their boats from, say, the DC area to NC's Outer Banks when the seasons changed. The pay sucked, but, hey, a couple days on a nice boat with good beer and decent food.

Since part of the contract was to clean the head at the end of the voyage, we never used it. For male passengers, point Mr Happy downwind over the rail. For female passengers and/or getting rid of the Mexican food from last night, the swimmer's ladder on the stern worked just fine. The rush of water over your bum is remarkably relaxing.

On the one occasion we sailed a larger boat, we used the ice bucket from the galley. At the end of the voyage it was accidentally "lost" overboard. Oops. We charged it off to expenses.
 
2013-02-11 04:16:29 PM  

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


i521.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 04:22:05 PM  

iheartscotch: Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all



Imust agree with iheartscotch - don't forget the superstaph infections.  It'd feel like being a chicken in a factory farm.  Yuck.
 
2013-02-11 04:23:15 PM  
Lets see... Ships keep having power failures, the occasional crash, and the probability there's at least one serial killer working for the cruise lines throwing people overboard and having their actions covered up as suicides there's a lot of reasons not to go on a cruise. At least with the giant ships.

I wanna do Galapagos. The cruise ship's a large yacht because there's no deep harbors.
 
2013-02-11 04:25:29 PM  
I'm waiting for the Australian novovirus to sweep through the ship.
 
2013-02-11 04:27:47 PM  

oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova


That movie wasn't so bad...
 
2013-02-11 04:30:02 PM  

oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova


Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"
 
2013-02-11 04:30:13 PM  
I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,
And thy skinny hand, so brown.'
-Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding-Guest!
This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
 
2013-02-11 04:32:12 PM  
I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.
 
2013-02-11 04:32:54 PM  

Firethorn: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Google would be your friend, but the easy explanation was that in the days of sailing ships, the bathroom was always in the front of the ship - the 'head'.  This is because the ship would always more or less be in the position where the wind was coming from the aft of the ship, blowing waste and any nasty odors away from the ship.


I'm kind of surprised they didn't just go overboard - or go in a bucket and toss it overboard.

Also this guy is not amused by the terminology


oh screw it - 2 attempts and unfetchable URLs.

dougthehead. .jpg
 
2013-02-11 04:33:58 PM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"


My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?
 
2013-02-11 04:34:34 PM  

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


I'm going to have vivid nightmares tonight.

I'd better start drinking heavily.

/thanks?
 
2013-02-11 04:36:13 PM  

oldfarthenry: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova

Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"

My tin-foil hat is buzzing as to why the government was so quick to wash their hands of this thing. Nuclear waste on board - or it's haunted as f**k?


maybe both!
venturebrosblog.com
 
2013-02-11 04:37:58 PM  

Raug the Dwarf: Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.

Something similar happened to my best friend in high school.  He and another guy were screwing around in the locker room, snapping towels at each other.  The other guy hit my buddy in the nut, causing it to swell.  The towel caught him in the deferens and cut off the blood or something.  His nut swelled up to about softball size.  Had to be rushed to the hospital to fix it.

So, those stories your coach tells you about snapping towels isn't all bullshiat.  I was there, I saw what can happen.  *shudders*


www.awn.com

"You were saying? To the wet towel wielding survivor of 15 years of boarding school locker rooms?"
 
2013-02-11 04:39:18 PM  

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


Jesus.... get out of my head!!!!
 
2013-02-11 04:39:58 PM  
A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

i1.ytimg.com

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at specialneed­s[nospam-﹫-backwards]la­v­i­n­rac­*c­o­m with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.


Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?
 
2013-02-11 04:42:04 PM  

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


apollokidz.com
 
2013-02-11 04:46:47 PM  
A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis...

What a Triumph passenger might look like:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 04:47:31 PM  

jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at specialneeds[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]lavinrac[* image 7x13]com with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?


Can they discriminate against ostensibly disabled people? I'm sure someone requiring dialysis would fall under that protected class.
 
2013-02-11 04:48:07 PM  

Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"


Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.
 
2013-02-11 04:49:50 PM  

Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"


They lost power. It's not like they hit an iceberg and sank in two hours.
 
2013-02-11 04:50:40 PM  

MilesTeg: I fear thee, ancient Mariner!
I fear thy skinny hand!
And thou art long, and lank, and brown,
As is the ribbed sea-sand.

I fear thee and thy glittering eye,
And thy skinny hand, so brown.'
-Fear not, fear not, thou Wedding-Guest!
This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.


Leisure Suit Larry?
 
2013-02-11 04:51:38 PM  

Felix_T_Cat: Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"

Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


What a bunch of maroons, to sign a thing like that.
 
2013-02-11 04:56:56 PM  
I like this (from one of the updates):

"We have no power AT ALL, which means we can't use the toilets, wash our hands, or take a shower," one passenger texted from the vessel, according to a relative who posted the text on cruise fan site CruiseCritic.com.

So...how did they text that, with no power AT ALL?  Can't run toilets, but CAN run the onboard cell system?
 
2013-02-11 04:57:15 PM  

Felix_T_Cat: Lost Thought 00: That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"

Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


It doesn't  surprise me. If they want ANYBODY to sail with them in the future they need to make good. They're actually going pretty far above and beyond what I'd expect if I understood the payoff correctly (full refund of this trip, reimbursement of most onboard charges, and a credit for a future cruise). Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.

We like the Disney Cruise Line though... just suits us better (and no, there's no kids, we just really enjoyed our time on the Dream).
 
2013-02-11 04:59:21 PM  

Felix_T_Cat: Their contract reads to the effect of "the trip is over when we say it is and we can leave you anywhere declaring that we have fulfilled out part of the contract."  So any payoff at all surprises me.


Just because something is in a contract, doesn't mean that it is enforceable. I could very easily slip a clause into one of our leases that states that I'm the President of the United States of America. Just because both parties signed it doesn't mean that I'm the president. Or I could put a sticker on my bumper stating that I'm not responsible for damage to your windshield from rocks that fly off of my vehicle, but the law says differently. Those disclaimers are designed to make people think they have no recourse, when, often times, the victim does have legal recourse.
 
2013-02-11 05:00:06 PM  
Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...

aminddivideddotcom.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-11 05:00:17 PM  

jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?


The article didn't say the passenger was a hemodialysis patient. I'll bet that the passenger is a CAPD patient who was wacky enough to assume that there would be power on a cruise ship so he could run his cycler. You can do it yourself without power, but if you've only packed 5-liter cycler bags (instead of the usual 2 or 3.5-liter manual bags) you're only going to be able to do a couple of fluid exchanges per day, and you're not going to have a good time.

/Dialysis patient who travels
//Never went on a cruise, never will.
 
2013-02-11 05:03:13 PM  

akula: Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.


The "nonrefundable" part assumes that the passenger is responsible for not being able to get on the ship. They can't just take your money, and then say "Oops. The boat's broken. No cruise for you. No can haz refund. Not yours."
 
2013-02-11 05:04:00 PM  
Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.

I only wish these events unfolded during that right wing butthurt-soothing cruise last December.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:18 PM  

redmid17: jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why on earth would you get on a cruise ship if you need dialysis?

[i1.ytimg.com image 480x360]

It was a 5 day cruise.  How was that supposed to work?

Wow.  This is from Carnival's website:

Hemodialysis is not available on board ship. Guests requiring hemodialysis are responsible for pre-arranging their dialysis in ports of call. Factors such as inclement weather may prevent the ship from calling on the port where the dialysis is scheduled. Guests requiring peritoneal dialysis are responsible for bringing the necessary supplies to perform the self-dialysis in their cabin. Peritoneal dialysis supplies are not typically available from the ship's medical center. Our Medical Center onboard is for minor emergencies and cannot supply or refill prescriptions.

If you have arranged to have your dialysis solutions delivered, please contact us at specialneeds[[nospam-﹫-backwards] image 7x13]lavinrac[* image 7x13]com with your vendor information. If you need to travel with your own medical equipment, medications, or supplies, it is important that you hand carry. Please do not pack these items with your checked luggage. If you need assistance with boarding your supplies, please see a Carnival Cruise Lines representative once inside the embarkation lobby.

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?

Can they discriminate against ostensibly disabled people? I'm sure someone requiring dialysis would fall under that protected class.


I'm not sure Liberian, Panamanian etc law carry many protections for discrimination.

RE the Lyubov Orlova, wouldn't a ship floating in Int'l waters be a freebie?  Seems like the cost of towing it to the DR would be worth the salvage value. Perhaps those folks from Shipwreck Men might need a bigger boat.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:40 PM  
Carnival says tugboats are en route to the Carnival Triumph to tow it to Progreso, Mexico so that passengers can get off eat soup.

FTFY
 
2013-02-11 05:05:47 PM  
I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:51 PM  

TV's Vinnie: Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.


What a Carnival cruise might look like:

www.fbdindy.com
 
2013-02-11 05:07:04 PM  

one0nine: A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.


If he's anything like a TRUE Farker, he'll be walking down the gangplank with a toothpick in his lips and a solid alibi as to why the passenger list is longer than the actual number of passengers on board when it docked.
 
2013-02-11 05:09:16 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: ChipNASA: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.

I'd never heard of this until Foul Bachelor frog. No one really does this right, I worry about my slow drains enough already.


When I worked at the grand Canyon, it was a common biatch by housekeeping. Tourists did it, but generally from one counry. I want to say Spain, but I'm not sure anymore. Whatever country it was, it was relatively common, and apparently it was common not to bother washing it down the drain very well. Now factor in the fact that the bathrooms were communal group restrooms, and you can imagine why housekeeping was so pissed...
 
2013-02-11 05:10:44 PM  
Heck, on the Titanic they pretty much got off all at once. Sorta.
 
2013-02-11 05:11:58 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: akula: Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.

The "nonrefundable" part assumes that the passenger is responsible for not being able to get on the ship. They can't just take your money, and then say "Oops. The boat's broken. No cruise for you. No can haz refund. Not yours."


True, but the way I read it is that if you've booked nonrefundable airfare to get to the cruise, then they'll cover that for you. That's not bad to do it without anybody making a stink.

I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.
 
2013-02-11 05:12:25 PM  
""My wife (is) on this cruise and has said the conditions were horrible. No power, no water, having to use the bathroom in bags," Gary Keyes of Baton Rouge,"


sooo.. couples go on cruises without their own spouse?

so... well yeah.... interesting
 
2013-02-11 05:16:23 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


People were "going to the bathroom in bags."  I always pack my own toilet for a cruise.
 
2013-02-11 05:19:13 PM  

JerkStore: Just think of how many people have peed in that pool already...

And soon...


24.media.tumblr.com

False Alarm!
 
2013-02-11 05:21:07 PM  

iheartscotch: 2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first.


Researchers of catastrophes have found that isn't true in practice.  Sounds noble, though.
 
2013-02-11 05:23:00 PM  
I know people who've taken and enjoyed cruises, but under optimum conditions, it sounds kinda like a hostage situation rather than a vacation. Or at best, being on a floating mall/casino/rest home.

Under not-optimum conditions, it sounds like the voyage of the damned.
 
2013-02-11 05:23:10 PM  
Soon they'll land in the New World and these minor technical difficulties will be but a memory .
 
2013-02-11 05:27:02 PM  
If you can you should hunt down a copy of

A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again
 
2013-02-11 05:27:14 PM  

DrupyDrawrs: My co worker is on that ship!!  Good speed old man!


hope it was a typo because as an atheist even I know what's what with your god
 
2013-02-11 05:28:31 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis...

What a Triumph passenger might look like:


1.bp.blogspot.com
 Unless he's got an allen wrench she wont be passangering that bike.  Or she's gonna need a bag of ice after that ride.
 
2013-02-11 05:30:28 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: akula: Those who have cruises booked for this vessel are being reimbursed for nonrefundable travel expenses. That isn't too bad.

The "nonrefundable" part assumes that the passenger is responsible for not being able to get on the ship. They can't just take your money, and then say "Oops. The boat's broken. No cruise for you. No can haz refund. Not yours."


Non-refundable travel expenses... It's not the airline's fault if the ship breaks. The airline isn't going to refund your money because Carnival can't maintain their fleet.
 
2013-02-11 05:31:35 PM  

Happy Hours: I'm kind of surprised they didn't just go overboard - or go in a bucket and toss it overboard.


The common sailors probably did.  The hoity-toity officers?  They wanted proper facilities.  You still did your business at the head of the ship though.  You still had the bucket and such at the head of the ship - thus pushing the smell away from the ship.

BarkingUnicorn: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

People were "going to the bathroom in bags."  I always pack my own toilet for a cruise.


I've had to use bucket toilets - it's a 5 gallon bucket with a toilet seat on top, with a super-heavy duty bag inside.  It's not too terrible, but for all the precious snowflakes out there...
 
2013-02-11 05:32:56 PM  

abhorrent1: If you need dialysis, a cruise does not sound like the best choice fo vacation.


That's pretty much your main cruise type customer. Plus note that TFA says that they can't get around without the elevators working.
 
2013-02-11 05:34:20 PM  
Twelfth Day (301 hours): Still no fatigue. Temperature 99. Skies fair. Winds calm. Position 28S by 188W. The mate have eat of a tainted Gouda and muft be lafhed to the mizzen. Difpleasure on the foredeck, water maggoty. Three more given up to scurvey. May God help us in our tryalle...
 
2013-02-11 05:37:07 PM  

mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.


Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...
 
2013-02-11 05:39:42 PM  

akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.


The wife and I had the same experience on a Carnival cruise she "won" through work.  Our cruise departed out of New Orleans and I was shocked/amazed at the number of rednecks who thought camouflage and/or Carhartt was cruise wear. I've been told this is common for Carnival cruises that depart southern cities like New Orleans, Mobile,Galveston etc.

Though we may get dragged onto a Disney cruise with the rest of the family and I've heard those are somewhat more tolerable: is that true?
 
2013-02-11 05:41:47 PM  

ObeliskToucher: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...


You could do all that (other than maybe the X factor rejects) with a hell of a lot less hassle at an all inclusive resort.
 
2013-02-11 05:42:38 PM  

mjohnson71: akuma976: I took a cruise with the wife and hated every second I was on the ship.  Between dodging fat people on rascals and paying too much for booze once was enough.  I'm 6ft and about 200 lbs and I had trouble getting in and out of our shower/toilet area. I openly wondered how the fat rascal driven buffet trolls could manage to stay clean during the week at sea.  Then I walked past the hot tubs and my fears were realized.  Put 2 and 2 together and almost threw up.

The wife and I had the same experience on a Carnival cruise she "won" through work.  Our cruise departed out of New Orleans and I was shocked/amazed at the number of rednecks who thought camouflage and/or Carhartt was cruise wear. I've been told this is common for Carnival cruises that depart southern cities like New Orleans, Mobile,Galveston etc.

Though we may get dragged onto a Disney cruise with the rest of the family and I've heard those are somewhat more tolerable: is that true?


Bring earplugs. Seriously.
 
2013-02-11 05:43:12 PM  

Fear the Clam: jtown: A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis ...

Why would Carnival even take on the risk of having hemodialysis patients on board?

The article didn't say the passenger was a hemodialysis patient. I'll bet that the passenger is a CAPD patient who was wacky enough to assume that there would be power on a cruise ship so he could run his cycler. You can do it yourself without power, but if you've only packed 5-liter cycler bags (instead of the usual 2 or 3.5-liter manual bags) you're only going to be able to do a couple of fluid exchanges per day, and you're not going to have a good time.

/Dialysis patient who travels
//Never went on a cruise, never will.


I didn't say this person was a hemodialysis patient, either.  I said, in the general sense, that it's crazy for Carnival to allow such patients on board.  But it's apparently so common that it's part of their FAQ.   Peritoneal dialysis patients may be loony to get on a cruise ship but at least they have the potential to weather minor disruptions without, ya know, dying.  Still, I wouldn't do it.  I'd stick to first-world destinations where top notch medical care is nearby at all times.
 
2013-02-11 05:43:16 PM  

ObeliskToucher: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...


I can do that at my house. Which is why I hate cruises.
 
2013-02-11 05:46:07 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: I'd be all for this happening. I can piss over the side and tank my solid waste for a few days. Hell they are refunding your bar tab. That is hundreds per person right there. Three days of free top shelf (well mid shelf, it is carnival) booze. Wouldn't have to twist my arm.


"tank my solid waste"?
Ewww.
That can't be healthy.
 
2013-02-11 05:47:50 PM  
praxeology.net

/not HHTTG
//Not a cruise
///whatevers... gis
 
2013-02-11 05:49:52 PM  
omnipotentpoobah.com

C-130E Honeybucket. Yeah, you put a plastic bag in there. Never needed to use it, thankfully, but I've seen many a strong man pace back and forth in the cargo compartment before finally giving in.
 
2013-02-11 05:53:51 PM  

mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.


I just docked from my family cruise vacation sunday morning.  My family paid for my way, all I had to pay for was my booze package($55 USD/day for all the booze I wanted, including((almost) top shelf liquor) and the flight to get there and back.  I avoided the casino, made friends with a few bartenders who made my "mixed" drinks 75% liquor, and watched some hot Croatian activities director host line dancing classes by the pool 3 times a day for 45 minutes at a go.  Shaking her ass all over the place while I get smashed.  Not something I would, you know, book for myself, but it's not like I hated it.

/also a lot of hot puerto rican girls on the boat
 
2013-02-11 05:55:07 PM  

12349876: If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises. If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...

You could do all that (other than maybe the X factor rejects) with a hell of a lot less hassle at an all inclusive resort.


I've done that, too -- Cancun, Cozumel, & Ixtapa -- it was OK, but kind of lost interest after a bad date with Mr. Noro (aka Colonoscopy Prep of the Gods)...

/The hotel staff presentation of Mayan Cultural Dance blew goats
//I applauded heartily after picturing the lead dancer with my heart quivering in his hand
 
2013-02-11 05:55:41 PM  

Scruffinator: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

I just docked from my family cruise vacation sunday morning.  My family paid for my way, all I had to pay for was my booze package($55 USD/day for all the booze I wanted, including((almost) top shelf liquor) and the flight to get there and back.  I avoided the casino, made friends with a few bartenders who made my "mixed" drinks 75% liquor, and watched some hot Croatian activities director host line dancing classes by the pool 3 times a day for 45 minutes at a go.  Shaking her ass all over the place while I get smashed.  Not something I would, you know, book for myself, but it's not like I hated it.

/also a lot of hot puerto rican girls on the boat


Sounds like a rough life. If you ever want to switch places, you let me know. I'll take one for the team.
 
2013-02-11 05:57:55 PM  

ObeliskToucher: 12349876: If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises. If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...

You could do all that (other than maybe the X factor rejects) with a hell of a lot less hassle at an all inclusive resort.

I've done that, too -- Cancun, Cozumel, & Ixtapa -- it was OK, but kind of lost interest after a bad date with Mr. Noro (aka Colonoscopy Prep of the Gods)...

/The hotel staff presentation of Mayan Cultural Dance blew goats
//I applauded heartily after picturing the lead dancer with my heart quivering in his hand


I can understand a sickness souring you on a vacation destination (it did for me as a kid), but you can get sick just about anywhere, probably more likely on a contained cruise ship.
 
2013-02-11 05:58:08 PM  
I wonder how long before the lawsuits start?
 
2013-02-11 05:58:58 PM  

Dubya's_Coke_Dealer: I can do that at my house. Which is why I hate cruises.


Not saying it's for everybody, but checking out some of the islands is pretty cool sometimes.  For me, Aruba sucked because it was a 15 minute walk through pushy locals trying to sell shiat(everything from island bus tours to diamonds) just to get town, but Curacao was awesome.  An old fort converted into a mini mall, 4 wheeler tours, and a fashion district with bars open at 8 in the morning so you could drink and check out the local girls shopping.

Still, my favorite vacation is just renting a house with a few other couples within walking distance to the beach.  It's affordable, it's fun, and nobody cuts you off.
 
2013-02-11 06:00:33 PM  
www.wired.com

Your Bartender
 
2013-02-11 06:01:31 PM  

redmid17: Sounds like a rough life. If you ever want to switch places, you let me know. I'll take one for the team.


Chicago?  No thanks.

Seriously though, I work 65 hour weeks 50 weeks out of the year, and that starts back up in about 9 hours.

So yeah, maybe we can switch = )
 
2013-02-11 06:02:29 PM  
Not sure where the cruise haters get the idea that there is a lot of gambling on a cruise ship. The "casino" on the Triumph occupies maybe 20% of the deck space on one of 13 decks. You could easily take a cruise and never see the casino. And it's closed when in port.
 
2013-02-11 06:03:20 PM  
It is an errand of mercy mein friend.  Two torpedos amidships and their horror cruise will be over.  It is the merciful thing to do

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 06:04:11 PM  
Oh!  And I did want to mention, on our cab ride back from the port to San Juan International, we stopped at a stop light with a 3 minute cycle, and a cop with somebody pulled over, and the cop had their door open and a semi-automatic weapon drawn.  Cab driver said he was waiting for a warrant.  They do NOT fark around down there.  From my PoV it looked like the dudes probably just had weed on them, but the cop was treating them like violent gang members.
 
2013-02-11 06:08:08 PM  

Scruffinator: My family paid for my way, all I had to pay for was my booze package($55 USD/day for all the booze I wanted, including((almost) top shelf liquor) and the flight to get there and back.


What cruise line? I would try my best to make sure that the cruise line would have to take line item loss for booze consumption on my cruise. I know it wouldn't work, but damn it, I would try!
 
2013-02-11 06:08:45 PM  

ObeliskToucher: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...


Ssshh...the more people complain about cruises, the nicer we'll have it onboard.....
 
2013-02-11 06:08:57 PM  
Who goes on a cruise ship when they need dialysis treatment?
I admitt I don't know much about it. Never really had a need to. But I know its vital.
And I'm all for people wanting to get away. Everyone, regardless of whatever, deservsee their own R&R.
But it seems like a ship isolated miles away from adequate medical treatment isn't a good idea.
 
2013-02-11 06:09:47 PM  

Scruffinator: redmid17: Sounds like a rough life. If you ever want to switch places, you let me know. I'll take one for the team.

Chicago?  No thanks.

Seriously though, I work 65 hour weeks 50 weeks out of the year, and that starts back up in about 9 hours.

So yeah, maybe we can switch = )


Obviously I wouldn't want to take you away from work. I'd be okay with the family vacations.
 
2013-02-11 06:11:13 PM  
Torpedo Them!
 
2013-02-11 06:12:34 PM  

Scruffinator: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

I just docked from my family cruise vacation sunday morning.  My family paid for my way, all I had to pay for was my booze package($55 USD/day for all the booze I wanted, including((almost) top shelf liquor) and the flight to get there and back.  I avoided the casino, made friends with a few bartenders who made my "mixed" drinks 75% liquor, and watched some hot Croatian activities director host line dancing classes by the pool 3 times a day for 45 minutes at a go.  Shaking her ass all over the place while I get smashed.  Not something I would, you know, book for myself, but it's not like I hated it.

/also a lot of hot puerto rican girls on the boat


Sounds like you could have just gone to Puerto Rico. If you'd have been paying for it you probably could have saved yourself money. I mean you skipped most of the cruise acitivities... Just skip the middleman, get there faster and you might even have had an easier time hooking up with the ladies.

Free trip's a free trip though. I wouldn't quibble on the details too much if I wasn't footing the bill.
 
2013-02-11 06:14:11 PM  

Scruffinator: Oh!  And I did want to mention, on our cab ride back from the port to San Juan International, we stopped at a stop light with a 3 minute cycle, and a cop with somebody pulled over, and the cop had their door open and a semi-automatic weapon drawn.  Cab driver said he was waiting for a warrant.  They do NOT fark around down there.  From my PoV it looked like the dudes probably just had weed on them, but the cop was treating them like violent gang members.


They've still got armed guards at the banks.  I guess they're still so frequent it's cheaper than insuring the money.
 
2013-02-11 06:15:26 PM  

akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.


What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.
 
2013-02-11 06:15:30 PM  

Scruffinator: Oh!  And I did want to mention, on our cab ride back from the port to San Juan International, we stopped at a stop light with a 3 minute cycle, and a cop with somebody pulled over, and the cop had their door open and a semi-automatic weapon drawn.  Cab driver said he was waiting for a warrant.  They do NOT fark around down there.  From my PoV it looked like the dudes probably just had weed on them, but the cop was treating them like violent gang members.


They need to do this shiat on the south side of Chicago.
 
2013-02-11 06:16:34 PM  
Can't find her on Marinetraffic...
 
2013-02-11 06:18:22 PM  

mongbiohazard: Sounds like you could have just gone to Puerto Rico. If you'd have been paying for it you probably could have saved yourself money. I mean you skipped most of the cruise acitivities... Just skip the middleman, get there faster and you might even have had an easier time hooking up with the ladies.

Free trip's a free trip though. I wouldn't quibble on the details too much if I wasn't footing the bill.


If I was footing the bill I woulda just went to the OBX in the spring.  But it is nice to get out of cold ass Michigan in the middle of winter.  I even got sunburned...in February!
 
2013-02-11 06:18:44 PM  
On the bus trip from Progreso to Merida or Cancun; will Carnival charge extra for the chicken that sits on your lap?
 
2013-02-11 06:19:36 PM  

Scruffinator: Dubya's_Coke_Dealer: I can do that at my house. Which is why I hate cruises.

Not saying it's for everybody, but checking out some of the islands is pretty cool sometimes.  For me, Aruba sucked because it was a 15 minute walk through pushy locals trying to sell shiat(everything from island bus tours to diamonds) just to get town, but Curacao was awesome.  An old fort converted into a mini mall, 4 wheeler tours, and a fashion district with bars open at 8 in the morning so you could drink and check out the local girls shopping.

Still, my favorite vacation is just renting a house with a few other couples within walking distance to the beach.  It's affordable, it's fun, and nobody cuts you off.


Aruba:  The New Jersey of the Caribbean
 
2013-02-11 06:19:58 PM  
Cannibalism!
 
2013-02-11 06:23:40 PM  

thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.


... It's a legal term. It means to pay damages so that the person is in the position he would have been in if the company that damaged them hadn't screwed up (in this specific case, to pay money so that the passenger isn't out a few grand for his vacation because Carnival decided to sail with a crappy ship).
 
2013-02-11 06:24:31 PM  
Danny, What does Tony think?

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 06:24:47 PM  

Braggi: I wonder how long before the lawsuits start?


No lawsuits.

Cruise ships are registered in 3rd world countries and are immune to pretty much every US law that it would cost money to obey.

And check out opensecrets dot com and look up Micky Arison.  That and courtside Heat tickets means that Carnival doesn't spend a lot of time in court.
 
2013-02-11 06:26:50 PM  
I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.

What it all comes down to is getting the deals. I find most of the deals either through direct mailers from the lines, or travelzoo.com When I cruise, I usually try to get a rate of between $35 and 50 dollars a day. If you look for last minute cruises, or repositioning cruises, you can get it even cheaper. I've done it as low as $19 a day (a one night from Seattle to Vancouver on Norwegian).

IMO, the short 3-4 day duration cruises are a PITA; having to go through the frenzied boarding and disembarking process. 7-day cruises are hectic, as it takes a good 4 days for folks to get comfortable with the routine. 10-day cruises are good. and 25+ day cruises are a joy. Once you start racking up rewards points, and/or being a shareholder in a company, it can become ridiculously cheap to cruise. On most cruises, I get between $50 and $250 of complementary spending cash aboard, which I use for drinks and the spa. If you book shore excursions directly, and not through the ship, you can get some pretty good rates. (The folks on cruise critic are an excellent resource). I also highly recommend getting a balcony and getting the dining room dinners sent via room service (this is a commentary service on all lines)

If it weren't for cruising on the cheap, I wouldn't be able to visit places like this for a couple C-notes (Bora Bora):
sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net

On most cruises I go on now, I can bring along a 3rd or 4th person for free - and due to an interesting turn of events, was able to go in December on a 25-day roundtrip cruise from San Diego to Tahiti for $900, in a window cabin w/ $250 credit.

/headed to do 10-days in the Mediterranean in 3 weeks (Norwegian). $500 per person, balcony cabin. $100 credit.
//leaving for a 35-day double Trans-Atlantic from Boston to North Atlantic/North Sea countries in July (Holland America).
 
2013-02-11 06:27:18 PM  

finnished: Can't find her on Marinetraffic...


Wow, that's a cool site.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:20 PM  

Smelly Pirate Hooker: it sounds kinda like a hostage situation rather than a vacation


CSB:
I went to one of the seven days singles parties in Burlington Vermont and the lady running the shindig at the front door stopped me and said, "Sir, you do realize tonight this bar is hosting the seven days singles party, right?"
And I said,"yes. theat is why I'm here"
She raised her eyebrows and let me in.
I looked around and it was a fat ugly sausage fest mixed with a cattle call. I ordered a drink and spotted a fat, biker dude shooting pool all by himself. Went over and introduced myself, racked them up and shot a couple of games. He said, "There's only one chick here I want to hit, and I'm waiting for her to get drunk"
I looked about and saw only one female in the joint relatively good looking. She was pinned to the wall by a bruiser of a dyke who looked like she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
I finished my beer and left.
The lady at the door stopped me briefly and said, "No one here appealing?"
I said, "Only you, and you're working, so it wouldn't be appropriate to hit on you."
and I left.
Next month, they had the singles party on a cruise boat on lake Champlain.
End CSB:
 
2013-02-11 06:35:19 PM  
My 10 year old says "Now you know why they call it a poopdeck".
 
2013-02-11 06:36:24 PM  

oldfarthenry: If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova


Why doesn't the Canadian Gov't just use it for Naval target practice and sink the thing?..
 
2013-02-11 06:36:35 PM  
One thing to make clear about cruises for people who don't know:

Cruises are not necessarily boat trips in empty waters.  They go places.  For instance, a 5 day cruise means for 4 days you wake up already docked at your next destination, spend the day there, get back on the ship in the evening, and then wake up the next morning somewhere else.  In the meantime, you have buffets, shows, casinos, pools, bars, nightclubs and other activities, some planned and some not.  One day of the 5 will be a sea day with no stops.  These things are not just a bunch of people jailing themselves on a boat for a week making circles in the water.

Also, as with everything else in life, there is a hierarchy for nicer (more expensive) cruises.  They are not all the hell of Carnival on the 2nd week of summer vacation.  For the older folks, check out a cruise to Alaska.  College kids, ask for the spring break boat to the Caribbean.  Yes, there is usually a week or two designated to young people only.
 
2013-02-11 06:41:58 PM  
Actually, a cruise ship that's set up for doing hemodialysis isn't such a bad idea for a dialysis patient. When I was a dialysis nurse there were always very attractive offers to go on cruises for free and get paid a stipend to perform dialysis for patients on board ship when the ship was at sea. So, I wouldn't go on one that made me make my own arrangements at ports, but if it was available on board it would be a pretty good way to vacation and still get your treatments. Admittedly, that was 15 years ago, and maybe they don't do it anymore, but at the time it seemed like a pretty good way to travel.
 
2013-02-11 06:46:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [www.wired.com image 400x353]

Your Bartender

www.wired.com

Damn, Isaac got surly in his old age.


i297.photobucket.com

/Hot, like disco in the 1970s.
 
2013-02-11 06:47:41 PM  

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


Shiat in a bucket and throw it off the fantail. For the women, piss likewise.

They cannot possibly have devolved to subhuman conditions in three days...or perhaps the entitled suburbanites who mostly take these kind of cruises can't handle not bathing for a couple of days, and are already clubbing their mates over the head and communicating in grunts.
 
2013-02-11 06:49:03 PM  

ShadowkahnCRX: thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.

... It's a legal term. It means to pay damages so that the person is in the position he would have been in if the company that damaged them hadn't screwed up (in this specific case, to pay money so that the passenger isn't out a few grand for his vacation because Carnival decided to sail with a crappy ship).


Thanks for a textbook response...can you tell I work in customer service? When I hear it it's in the context of whining for handouts. Blech.
 
2013-02-11 06:57:44 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: TV's Vinnie: Carnival ships are more Amistad than The Love Boat.

What a Carnival cruise might look like:


That made me lol on the bus. :)
 
2013-02-11 07:04:36 PM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Well that's one of the better wiki pages I've read today. The reasonable minded adult in me thinks it's irresponsible to leave that floating around but can understand not wanting to go to unnecessary expense ("Let Norway deal with it"). Meanwhile my inner child is screaming "COOLEST FORT EVER!"


Principality of Sealand did it.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-11 07:15:45 PM  

TGWJH: Cruises are not necessarily boat trips in empty waters. They go places. For instance, a 5 day cruise means for 4 days you wake up already docked at your next destination, spend the day there, get back on the ship in the evening, and then wake up the next morning somewhere else. In the meantime, you have buffets, shows, casinos, pools, bars, nightclubs and other activities, some planned and some not. One day of the 5 will be a sea day with no stops. These things are not just a bunch of people jailing themselves on a boat for a week making circles in the water.


You're still stuck on the ship for many "awake" hours, especially if you like sleeping in on your vacation.
 
2013-02-11 07:21:11 PM  

thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.


media.comicvine.com
 
2013-02-11 07:21:31 PM  
Galveston, New Orleans and Mobile are where Carnival sends it's older ships to die.
 
2013-02-11 07:21:53 PM  
The Triumph's sister ship Elation has met them with supplies.  I was on the Elation with my daughter and one of her grad school cohorts last month for my birthday (my daughter paid for it, wasn't that sweet?!). It was a
5 day cruise, and my first.

We had a blast! We plan to do other cruises (with Royal Caribbean and Norwegian) later.

First of all there was no way in HELL I was going to use my phone, or the ship's internet cafe during the cruise.  Roaming charges would have been astronomical, as were their internet per minute rates. We used the free wi-fi at Margaritaville in Cozumel.

We were able to bring wine aboard (you can't bring liquor), so our bar tabs were quite reasonable.

The most amazing thing to me was also the saddest.  There were SO MANY obese people of all ages aboard!  These folks live to eat and god, did they continuously gorge! It was disgusting to me how much those people would eat at one time! No wonder the people on the Triumph panicked about the lack of food and elevators.

My daughter, her friend and I used the elevators probably about only 6 times the entire cruise, and their stateroom and mine were at opposite ends of the ship!

My family has never had a problem with using a bucket for a toilet, walking all over the place and sleeping outside.  And not continuing stuffing our faces is not a problem.  Damn, so many on my cruise were fat, soft and out of shape.  A lot of America is in a pathetic state of being.
 
2013-02-11 07:24:38 PM  

thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.


It's a pretty common term in finance having to with compensation for the loss of use of funds.

Moran.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:08 PM  
actually, you can do Home hemodialysis on board most cruise ships.       You just need to make arrangements for them to store your supplies.

Home hemo is just like hemo, but you do it with a portable machine (that runs on regular household power).  Just need a table that can handle the weight of it and the dialysate bags, and you're good to go.  it's not much different than Perio, except you use a catheter that leads directly into your veins, or a fistula that gets two needles stuck in it.


/Master Jedana 5 years cancer free, right kidney free, lazy brother-in-law kidney on the left
// transplant list for 5 months
///he sticks himself in the left arm to do his treatments
///If you're O+, come to dinner...take a cold ice bath...ignore the slight pain you'll feel in your lower back upon waking...
 
2013-02-11 07:29:16 PM  
Please oh please let this be the ship that John Hodgman is on.
 
2013-02-11 07:31:29 PM  
Cruising is for the poor.Get your own boat.
 
2013-02-11 07:32:22 PM  
I've never had a problem sleeping late on cruises. Just bring ear plugs to avoid the docking noises or the 'happy, happy, happy cruise director' announcements. Just tip your steward very well at the start and let them know, they'll take care of you. A balcony room helps so you have bloody marys on the balcony--we always skip breakfast and just nosh for lunch.
There's always something to eat tho the buffet generally closes about 2 to reboot, but they have other 24/7 food stations with pizza, fish and chips, pizza etc. All the food is included so it's easy to over eat---but you'll notice that portions for the sit down meals are tiny. But you can order multiple items if you like one selection......I'll get about 2 cheese plates for desert, put them on one plate and take that back to the cabin for late night snacks (and the cheese plate is just about 5 slices of good cheese and few rounds of bread).
 
2013-02-11 07:36:17 PM  
 
2013-02-11 07:46:50 PM  

MrSteve007: On most cruises I go on now, I can bring along a 3rd or 4th person for free - and due to an interesting turn of events, was able to go in December on a 25-day roundtrip cruise from San Diego to Tahiti for $900, in a window cabin w/ $250 credit.

/headed to do 10-days in the Mediterranean in 3 weeks (Norwegian). $500 per person, balcony cabin. $100 credit.
//leaving for a 35-day double Trans-Atlantic from Boston to North Atlantic/North Sea countries in July (Holland America).


So...do you, like, have a job?
 
2013-02-11 07:53:56 PM  

Dubya's_Coke_Dealer: ObeliskToucher: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...

I can do that at my house. Which is why I hate cruises.


EXACTLY. When I go on vacation- I want to DO stuff. Fun stuff! Partake in the local activities, eat the local food. If I wanted to just sit around and not cook I would stay home and order takeout ever night...

I had a friend trying to get me to go on a cruise and she got me interested by saying they went to Key West. I was researching it and the rules like 'internet costs money, phone costs money, special food costs money, alcohol costs money. ports could change. bring your passport in case you have to fly home from who knows where.' and then I couldn't find any info about how much stuff cost- bah.
 
2013-02-11 07:54:58 PM  
Bioshock 3
 
2013-02-11 08:01:25 PM  

kvinesknows: ""My wife (is) on this cruise and has said the conditions were horrible. No power, no water, having to use the bathroom in bags," Gary Keyes of Baton Rouge,"


sooo.. couples go on cruises without their own spouse?

so... well yeah.... interesting


Yeah sure. Didn't you read that article on here a couple days ago around women taking so called "romance" vacations by themselves so they could get all sorts of strange dick?
 
2013-02-11 08:02:17 PM  

vudukungfu: Smelly Pirate Hooker: it sounds kinda like a hostage situation rather than a vacation

CSB:
I went to one of the seven days singles parties in Burlington Vermont and the lady running the shindig at the front door stopped me and said, "Sir, you do realize tonight this bar is hosting the seven days singles party, right?"
And I said,"yes. theat is why I'm here"
She raised her eyebrows and let me in.
I looked around and it was a fat ugly sausage fest mixed with a cattle call. I ordered a drink and spotted a fat, biker dude shooting pool all by himself. Went over and introduced myself, racked them up and shot a couple of games. He said, "There's only one chick here I want to hit, and I'm waiting for her to get drunk"
I looked about and saw only one female in the joint relatively good looking. She was pinned to the wall by a bruiser of a dyke who looked like she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
I finished my beer and left.
The lady at the door stopped me briefly and said, "No one here appealing?"
I said, "Only you, and you're working, so it wouldn't be appropriate to hit on you."
and I left.
Next month, they had the singles party on a cruise boat on lake Champlain.
End CSB:


www.public.navy.milHow YOU doin?
 
2013-02-11 08:02:23 PM  

thehighesttree: ShadowkahnCRX: thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:
I'm not likely to take a Carnival cruise, but to me it looks like they're trying to take care of this in a stand up manner. It would suck to be stuck on a cruise ship that has become an unpowered floating barge, but at least they're going to try and make the passengers as whole as possible.

What the hell does this even mean, "make them whole again"? I'm guessing it's a trope from that stupid truck commercial that aired during the Superbowl because I've never heard anyone prattle it off prior to that. It just reeks of worthless consumer-whore begging; if a rough cruise or a shiatty meal leaves you feeling "unwhole" in any substantive way then you need to re-evaluate your life values because you're most likely worthless. "Please Company X,  make me whole again" is parasite talk and the type of shiat grown adults who use it need to have slapped out of them. It's truly disgusting, and I resent sharing company on this planet with anyone who regurgitates this corporate drivel.

... It's a legal term. It means to pay damages so that the person is in the position he would have been in if the company that damaged them hadn't screwed up (in this specific case, to pay money so that the passenger isn't out a few grand for his vacation because Carnival decided to sail with a crappy ship).

Thanks for a textbook response...can you tell I work in customer service? When I hear it it's in the context of whining for handouts. Blech.


So, let's just be sure I have this right: You're saying Carnival should not refund the money even though it was Carnival's boat that broke and wrecked their vacations, and even though considering this is hardly the first fire to happen in an engine room of a Carnival ship, it's unlikely that somehow Carnival's policies, procedures, or hiring practices are not involved in the leadup to this incident?

The customers paid for a cruise. Refunding the money for the cruise they did not get to take is a good start. Giving them a little extra for stranding them at sea with no power and making them crap in buckets is, I think, also reasonable. And consider that even if Carnival reimburses customers for *all* of the money they spent on this cruise (cruise tickets, airline transport to and from the ship, travel agent fees, etc etc) they still haven't reimbursed them for the vacation time that they lost. So, legally speaking, the customers will not and cannot be made whole because their employers are not going to give them extra  vacation to compensate for the vacation time they wasted sitting on a disabled ship.

Considering all of that, I'd say the company's response is adequate, and considering the company is giving it voluntarily (even though we both know they're only volunteering to do it because if they don't, no one will risk their vacation traveling on their floating disaster hotels) I think it's asinine to accuse the customers of whining for handouts.
 
2013-02-11 08:05:07 PM  
They should torpedo the ship.  Sink all these gross people.
 
2013-02-11 08:08:18 PM  

MrSteve007: I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.


Thanks for the very informative post. However, you should know this is Fark and you will be ridiculed.
 
2013-02-11 08:13:53 PM  

Delay: MrSteve007: I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.

Thanks for the very informative post. However, you should know this is Fark and you will be ridiculed.


No, here we RESPECT whores.
 
2013-02-11 08:14:19 PM  

ShadowkahnCRX: The customers paid for a cruise. Refunding the money for the cruise they did not get to take is a good start. Giving them a little extra for stranding them at sea with no power and making them crap in buckets is, I think, also reasonable. And consider that even if Carnival reimburses customers for *all* of the money they spent on this cruise (cruise tickets, airline transport to and from the ship, travel agent fees, etc etc) they still haven't reimbursed them for the vacation time that they lost.


If it was like Carnival's policy the last time this happened on the Splendor. They only refunded travel expenses for people that booked a land/sea/air package from Carnival and through their approved agents. So there's some PR "fine print" half truth there.  I rather doubt someone that booked their own flight would get refunding for that...we'll see.
 
2013-02-11 08:26:40 PM  
Still has better living conditions than most of Mexico...
 
2013-02-11 08:31:02 PM  

12349876: Scruffinator: Oh!  And I did want to mention, on our cab ride back from the port to San Juan International, we stopped at a stop light with a 3 minute cycle, and a cop with somebody pulled over, and the cop had their door open and a semi-automatic weapon drawn.  Cab driver said he was waiting for a warrant.  They do NOT fark around down there.  From my PoV it looked like the dudes probably just had weed on them, but the cop was treating them like violent gang members.

They've still got armed guards at the banks.  I guess they're still so frequent it's cheaper than insuring the money.


bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com

shiat better not have to high of hopes for the Chicago loop then. I don't think I've seen a single bank there that didn't have an armed guard like this gentleman. I don't want around the south part of the loop every day, but I can't imagine it's any different on Van Buren and Jackson than it is on Lake and Randolph. Hell the Qdoba at Chicago and State has an armed guard on weekends. That was in response to McDonald's evicting all the young ne'er do wells and sending them over. I guess they were tired of getting flash mobbed by groups of teenagers
 
2013-02-11 08:40:15 PM  

Uzzah: Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.


s12.postimage.org
 
2013-02-11 08:43:18 PM  

Yogimus: No, here we RESPECT whores.


No, sweetheart I pay mine.
 
2013-02-11 08:58:20 PM  

Firethorn: Remember - Piss WITH the wind, not against it.


Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum.
 
2013-02-11 09:20:07 PM  
These people are getting all of the booze they want for free right now.  It's kinda hard to feel bad for them.
 
2013-02-11 09:26:46 PM  
Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....
 
2013-02-11 09:42:24 PM  

Fano: thehighesttree: akula: Sin_City_Superhero: akula:


[media.comicvine.com image 508x554]


i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 09:48:52 PM  

Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.


He was telling the truth. I... I was that kid...
 
2013-02-11 09:50:51 PM  

birdistasty: Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....


Hey! We have........stuff.. here.
 
2013-02-11 10:02:11 PM  
The bf and I took a cruise 2 weeks ago. On the trip back up the Gulf, I had the irrational fear that we would break down and all the middle-aged ladies doing the cha cha slide the day before would turn cannibal.
 
2013-02-11 10:07:41 PM  

birdistasty: Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....


If the ship is slated to leave US waters all passengers need a passport to board.
 
2013-02-11 10:33:19 PM  

YouSirAreAMaroon: birdistasty: Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....

If the ship is slated to leave US waters all passengers need a passport to board.



http://www.cruisecritic.com/news/news.cfm?ID=5192

Says 900 people did not have passports with them.
 
2013-02-11 10:46:00 PM  
oldfarthenry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova
"Lyubov Orlova ran aground at Deception Island on 27 November 2006.
She was towed off by Spanish Navy icebreaker, Las Palmas"


Why does the Spanish Navy have an icebreaker?
 
2013-02-11 10:55:45 PM  

August11: If you somewhat enjoy self-reliance, stay off those damn cruise ships. When something goes wrong, they become prisoner ships. Stinking, complaining, drunken prisoner ships.


Meh, I just got home from working on one owned by the same parent company for 8 months. Worst thing we ever had was a power outage that lasted about 3 hours. That's nothing.
 
2013-02-11 10:56:40 PM  

URAPNIS: YouSirAreAMaroon: birdistasty: Oh, and a good portion of the toilets are up and running again, they have restored some power to the Lido so there is some (not a whole lot) of hot food available.

And the people that decided to cruise without their passports no longer have to worry about jumping through hoops to get home from Progreso; they've decided that since the ship drifted so far north in the last day, they're now going to tow it directly to Mobile, Alabama.

...I think I'd rather be stranded in Progreso....

If the ship is slated to leave US waters all passengers need a passport to board.


http://www.cruisecritic.com/news/news.cfm?ID=5192

Says 900 people did not have passports with them.


I was wrong, proof of legal residency is required. For US citizens a birth certificate is acceptable.
 
2013-02-11 11:12:06 PM  

Anonymocoso: Braggi: I wonder how long before the lawsuits start?

No lawsuits.

Cruise ships are registered in 3rd world countries and are immune to pretty much every US law that it would cost money to obey.

And check out opensecrets dot com and look up Micky Arison.  That and courtside Heat tickets means that Carnival doesn't spend a lot of time in court.


Random exceptions: The NCL Pride of America flies the US flag so they can do the Hawaiian islands without going 1.5 days out of their way to Kiribati to fulfill an old US law saying that foreign cruises have to make at least one stop in another country.

Also, Holland America Line flies the Dutch flag.
 
2013-02-11 11:15:14 PM  

NightOwl2255: Scruffinator: My family paid for my way, all I had to pay for was my booze package($55 USD/day for all the booze I wanted, including((almost) top shelf liquor) and the flight to get there and back.

What cruise line? I would try my best to make sure that the cruise line would have to take line item loss for booze consumption on my cruise. I know it wouldn't work, but damn it, I would try!


Difficulty: They get all that shiat duty-free.
 
2013-02-11 11:21:16 PM  

spidermilk: Dubya's_Coke_Dealer: ObeliskToucher: mongbiohazard: I've never understood the appeal of cruises. Trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, expensive tchotchies, fees around every corner and a bunch of Norwalk-like virus - with a bunch of other people whose idea of a vacation is to be trapped on a boat with gambling, expensive booze, etc. etc....

Throw in a play by Andrew Lloyd Weber and it sounds like my own personal version of hell.

Or... get on the boat, ignore the casino, avoid the shops, ignore the fees (except for an occasional Scotch), and use the sanitizer dispensers like they're free.  Avoid the main pool area, grab a deck chair on an unpopular deck, open up your Kindle, and read for a while as the ocean slides by.  Head off to the buffet for some light grazing.  Rinse. Repeat.  Have a decent sit-down dinner (or hit the buffet again, if you don't want to get pretty), enjoy some X Factor wannabes dance & sing -- or just wander around.  When ship docks at Butt-Wipe Island and you don't care to partake, just stay aboard and enjoy having the ship to yourself...

If you're a sot, joiner, spa addict, shy about being in a strange port, or a patsy for art auctions and crappy jewelry sales -- you'll go broke taking cruises.  If not, just disconnect from the world and relax...

I can do that at my house. Which is why I hate cruises.

EXACTLY. When I go on vacation- I want to DO stuff. Fun stuff! Partake in the local activities, eat the local food. If I wanted to just sit around and not cook I would stay home and order takeout ever night...

I had a friend trying to get me to go on a cruise and she got me interested by saying they went to Key West. I was researching it and the rules like 'internet costs money, phone costs money, special food costs money, alcohol costs money. ports could change. bring your passport in case you have to fly home from who knows where.' and then I couldn't find any info about how much stuff cost- bah.


You can take shore excursions that sample the local culture and do stuff, but they ah, cost money.
 
2013-02-11 11:53:31 PM  
And none of you got the least bit upset upon hearing a cruiser's wife was pooping in a garbage bag? Where is she stowing said garbage bag? And where is her roommate pooping? In the same garbage bag? Did she take it on the upper deck (LOL) and dump it? Or is it still in her room? And it's only been a few days! How often do you have to poop, lady? OMG. Just...OMG.
 
2013-02-12 12:52:56 AM  
Travelling on a ship registered in a country with a minimally effective government has risks?  Who knew!
 
2013-02-12 12:54:55 AM  

optikeye: I've never had a problem sleeping late on cruises. Just bring ear plugs to avoid the docking noises or the 'happy, happy, happy cruise director' announcements.


I wasn't even thinking about that issue having never been on a cruise when it comes to sleeping in.  For me the issue would be having to choose between sleeping in and maximizing your off boat time.  Plus night time at the beach is awesome.
 
2013-02-12 12:55:43 AM  

12349876: Plus night time at the beach is awesome.


assuming you're in a safe place
 
2013-02-12 01:14:21 AM  

YouSirAreAMaroon: If the ship is slated to leave US waters all passengers need a passport to board.


Sorry to say, but not true.  As long as it is a closed-loop cruise (as in, leaving and then returning to the same US homeport), all you need is a photo ID and a birth certificate.  I'm sure the rules will change at some point, and situations like this are why some cruisers will argue why a passport should be mandatory.  But at this point, it's not.

/took my last two cruises using only photo ID, birth certificate, and marriage certificate
//hopefully will convince hubster to get passports for next time
 
2013-02-12 02:13:35 AM  

hariseldon: oldfarthenry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova
"Lyubov Orlova ran aground at Deception Island on 27 November 2006.
She was towed off by Spanish Navy icebreaker, Las Palmas"

Why does the Spanish Navy have an icebreaker?



They use it to pick up hot chicks from Ibiza. It's named the ¿Cómo te va

/Wife and I decided against a cruise
//Chose Hedonism instead
 
2013-02-12 11:27:46 AM  

Fireproof: You can take shore excursions that sample the local culture and do stuff, but they ah, cost money.


And are about as authentic in local culture as going to Epcot and touring all the countries, right?

When I go on a trip and 'sample the local culture', I ask people on the street or the subway what to go see and do. I ask them where their favorite restaurant is. I try to avoid anywhere that's geared strictly for tourists.
 
2013-02-12 12:41:39 PM  

Scruffinator: Oh! And I did want to mention, on our cab ride back from the port to San Juan International, we stopped at a stop light with a 3 minute cycle, and a cop with somebody pulled over, and the cop had their door open and a semi-automatic weapon drawn. Cab driver said he was waiting for a warrant. They do NOT fark around down there. From my PoV it looked like the dudes probably just had weed on them, but the cop was treating them like violent gang members.

they didn't understand the concept of "Go Away" money in Latin America.
 
2013-02-12 01:16:14 PM  

mongbiohazard: Sounds like you could have just gone to Puerto Rico. If you'd have been paying for it you probably could have saved yourself money. I mean you skipped most of the cruise acitivities... Just skip the middleman, get there faster and you might even have had an easier time hooking up with the ladies.

Free trip's a free trip though. I wouldn't quibble on the details too much if I wasn't footing the bill.


I enjoyed the cruises I went on. Yeah I see your beef tho. If you cant afford it stay the fark home, dude, so those of us who can may enjoy ourselves.
 
2013-02-12 01:18:13 PM  

birdistasty: YouSirAreAMaroon: If the ship is slated to leave US waters all passengers need a passport to board.

Sorry to say, but not true.  As long as it is a closed-loop cruise (as in, leaving and then returning to the same US homeport), all you need is a photo ID and a birth certificate.  I'm sure the rules will change at some point, and situations like this are why some cruisers will argue why a passport should be mandatory.  But at this point, it's not.

/took my last two cruises using only photo ID, birth certificate, and marriage certificate
//hopefully will convince hubster to get passports for next time


As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?
 
2013-02-12 01:25:41 PM  

Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?


Absolutely 100% wrong.  My first cruise?  We went to Grand Turk, a private cruise-owned island in the Bahamas, and Freeport (Bahamas).  Second cruise?  Port Canaveral, Nassau (Bahamas), and Freeport (Bahamas again).  And all cruise lines leaving the States have that same requirement; passports are preferable, but you can cruise with your birth certificate and photo ID as long as the cruise leaves from and returns to the same port.  If you're doing a transatlantic cruise, then yeah, you need your passport.  If you're doing an Alaskan cruise that leaves out of Seattle but returns to Vancouver, then yeah, you need your passport there, too.  But a cruise that leaves out of Baltimore and returns to Baltimore - no matter how many stops in between - you do NOT need a passport for.
 
2013-02-12 01:31:50 PM  

Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?


That is false. Just got back from a cruise that stopped in Honduras, Belize and Mexico. Once before that, Aruba, Jamaica and Grand Cayman. No passport was needed for entry into any of those counties. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.
 
2013-02-12 02:07:59 PM  

MrSteve007: I'm a bit of a serial cruiser. I'm up to nearly two dozen cruises now, having spent some 180 days aboard Holland America ships and some 8 cruises on Royal Caribbean. I've also done Disney, Norwegian, Celebrity, and Carnival. Not too bad for being in my early 30's.

What it all comes down to is getting the deals. I find most of the deals either through direct mailers from the lines, or travelzoo.com When I cruise, I usually try to get a rate of between $35 and 50 dollars a day. If you look for last minute cruises, or repositioning cruises, you can get it even cheaper. I've done it as low as $19 a day (a one night from Seattle to Vancouver on Norwegian).

IMO, the short 3-4 day duration cruises are a PITA; having to go through the frenzied boarding and disembarking process. 7-day cruises are hectic, as it takes a good 4 days for folks to get comfortable with the routine. 10-day cruises are good. and 25+ day cruises are a joy. Once you start racking up rewards points, and/or being a shareholder in a company, it can become ridiculously cheap to cruise. On most cruises, I get between $50 and $250 of complementary spending cash aboard, which I use for drinks and the spa. If you book shore excursions directly, and not through the ship, you can get some pretty good rates. (The folks on cruise critic are an excellent resource). I also highly recommend getting a balcony and getting the dining room dinners sent via room service (this is a commentary service on all lines)

If it weren't for cruising on the cheap, I wouldn't be able to visit places like this for a couple C-notes (Bora Bora):
[sphotos-e.ak.fbcdn.net image 850x1133]

On most cruises I go on now, I can bring along a 3rd or 4th person for free - and due to an interesting turn of events, was able to go in December on a 25-day roundtrip cruise from San Diego to Tahiti for $900, in a window cabin w/ $250 credit.

/headed to do 10-days in the Mediterranean in 3 weeks (Norwegian). $500 per person, balcony cabin. $100 cre ...


In my mid-30's and starting to really like cruises. Usually, I have preferred renting a house somewhere, but I also enjoy traveling around to different locations, a cruise makes that easy.
They are great for a family vacation (all adults, have no idea what it's like with kids), easy to spend time together or have private time. 

I've only cruised with Holland America. Very few kids onboard, perfect for me since I am not a fan of having kids around on vacation. We spend as much time off the ship as possible, hike to the beaches with fewer people, and always get a large balcony cabin.  The balcony is the best part of the ship, relaxing and watching the ocean go by.  And the spa on HAL is worth it.  Going on my first 10-day in December.
 
2013-02-12 02:20:00 PM  

birdistasty: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

Absolutely 100% wrong.  My first cruise?  We went to Grand Turk, a private cruise-owned island in the Bahamas, and Freeport (Bahamas).  Second cruise?  Port Canaveral, Nassau (Bahamas), and Freeport (Bahamas again).  And all cruise lines leaving the States have that same requirement; passports are preferable, but you can cruise with your birth certificate and photo ID as long as the cruise leaves from and returns to the same port.  If you're doing a transatlantic cruise, then yeah, you need your passport.  If you're doing an Alaskan cruise that leaves out of Seattle but returns to Vancouver, then yeah, you need your passport there, too.  But a cruise that leaves out of Baltimore and returns to Baltimore - no matter how many stops in between - you do NOT need a passport for.


Yeah if you end at the same place, I guess you're right. Mine didn't. I stand corrected.

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

That is false. Just got back from a cruise that stopped in Honduras, Belize and Mexico. Once before that, Aruba, Jamaica and Grand Cayman. No passport was needed for entry into any of those counties. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.


 I wasnt talking about entering a country, wise-ass, I was talking abou tgetting back home.
 
2013-02-12 03:17:42 PM  

Madbassist1: birdistasty: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

Absolutely 100% wrong.  My first cruise?  We went to Grand Turk, a private cruise-owned island in the Bahamas, and Freeport (Bahamas).  Second cruise?  Port Canaveral, Nassau (Bahamas), and Freeport (Bahamas again).  And all cruise lines leaving the States have that same requirement; passports are preferable, but you can cruise with your birth certificate and photo ID as long as the cruise leaves from and returns to the same port.  If you're doing a transatlantic cruise, then yeah, you need your passport.  If you're doing an Alaskan cruise that leaves out of Seattle but returns to Vancouver, then yeah, you need your passport there, too.  But a cruise that leaves out of Baltimore and returns to Baltimore - no matter how many stops in between - you do NOT need a passport for.

Yeah if you end at the same place, I guess you're right. Mine didn't. I stand corrected.

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

That is false. Just got back from a cruise that stopped in Honduras, Belize and Mexico. Once before that, Aruba, Jamaica and Grand Cayman. No passport was needed for entry into any of those counties. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.

 I wasnt talking about entering a country, wise-ass, I was talking abou tgetting back home.


You're still wrong. If the cruise ship returns to the same port that it left from, it can stop anywhere along the way and you do not need a passport to re-enter the US.
 
2013-02-12 03:47:14 PM  

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: birdistasty: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

Absolutely 100% wrong.  My first cruise?  We went to Grand Turk, a private cruise-owned island in the Bahamas, and Freeport (Bahamas).  Second cruise?  Port Canaveral, Nassau (Bahamas), and Freeport (Bahamas again).  And all cruise lines leaving the States have that same requirement; passports are preferable, but you can cruise with your birth certificate and photo ID as long as the cruise leaves from and returns to the same port.  If you're doing a transatlantic cruise, then yeah, you need your passport.  If you're doing an Alaskan cruise that leaves out of Seattle but returns to Vancouver, then yeah, you need your passport there, too.  But a cruise that leaves out of Baltimore and returns to Baltimore - no matter how many stops in between - you do NOT need a passport for.

Yeah if you end at the same place, I guess you're right. Mine didn't. I stand corrected.

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

That is false. Just got back from a cruise that stopped in Honduras, Belize and Mexico. Once before that, Aruba, Jamaica and Grand Cayman. No passport was needed for entry into any of those counties. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.

 I wasnt talking about entering a country, wise-ass, I was talking abou tgetting back home.

You're still wrong. If the cruise ship returns to the same port that it left from, it can stop anywhere along the way and you do not need a passport to re-enter the US.


Uh thats what I just said. I don't mind taking my medicine when I'm mistaken, but read the farking post before you turn on the snark, asshole.
 
2013-02-12 04:05:32 PM  

Madbassist1: If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?


You say something like the above, which is 100% incorrect and clearly shows that you, in fact, do not know what you are talking about yet I'm the asshole for pointing that out.

So, you're ignorant, and touchy, Nice combo.
 
2013-02-12 04:16:57 PM  
Fight nice, guys.

So... who's organizing the Fark cruise?  Seriously, a week-long Fark party?  I think that'd be pretty fanfarkintastic.
 
2013-02-12 04:20:44 PM  

birdistasty: Fight nice, guys.

So... who's organizing the Fark cruise?  Seriously, a week-long Fark party?  I think that'd be pretty fanfarkintastic.


Could you imagine this group on a broke down cruise ship? It would make Lord of the Flies look like a feel good story.
 
2013-02-12 04:21:29 PM  

birdistasty: Fight nice, guys.

So... who's organizing the Fark cruise?  Seriously, a week-long Fark party?  I think that'd be pretty fanfarkintastic.


make it a nude swinging cruise.
 
2013-02-12 04:24:00 PM  

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

You say something like the above, which is 100% incorrect and clearly shows that you, in fact, do not know what you are talking about yet I'm the asshole for pointing that out.

So, you're ignorant, and touchy, Nice combo.


You're an arrogant ass. At least I admit when I'm wrong, asshole.

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: birdistasty: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

Absolutely 100% wrong.  My first cruise?  We went to Grand Turk, a private cruise-owned island in the Bahamas, and Freeport (Bahamas).  Second cruise?  Port Canaveral, Nassau (Bahamas), and Freeport (Bahamas again).  And all cruise lines leaving the States have that same requirement; passports are preferable, but you can cruise with your birth certificate and photo ID as long as the cruise leaves from and returns to the same port.  If you're doing a transatlantic cruise, then yeah, you need your passport.  If you're doing an Alaskan cruise that leaves out of Seattle but returns to Vancouver, then yeah, you need your passport there, too.  But a cruise that leaves out of Baltimore and returns to Baltimore - no matter how many stops in between - you do NOT need a passport for.

Yeah if you end at the same place, I guess you're right. Mine didn't. I stand corrected.

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: As long as it doesnt stop anywhere, maybe, but why the fark go on a cruise that doesn't go anywhere?

If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?

That is false. Just got back from a cruise that stopped in Honduras, Belize and Mexico. Once before that, Aruba, Jamaica and Grand Cayman. No passport was needed for entry into any of those counties. You simply have no idea what you are talking about.

 I wasnt talking about entering a country, wise-ass, I was talking abou tgetting back home.

You're still wrong. If the cruise ship returns to the same port that it left from, it can stop anywhere along the way and you do not need a passport to re-enter the US.

 
2013-02-12 04:39:05 PM  
I've been on a bunch of family cruises. They aren't something I do with the gf when we want to go away (I like  going somewhere different, trying new stuff, and likely annoying the locals), but they are fun and are some of the cheapest vacations. If you don't spend much on booze or bother gambling (especially since the odds are even worse than a normal casino) then it is much cheaper than other vacations.

I've only been on Royal Caribbean so I don't know if this all pertains to other lines. The food at the buffet and dining room is all included and all you can eat and the last two boats I was on had a Johnny Rockets on it that was free. Soda could be expensive but I always end up getting the pass where you can get all the soda you want for the cruise for like 25 or 30 bucks.

Activities are pretty good - rock climbing wall, surfing pool, mini golf, ice rink, really nice gym, etc.

As long as you avoid the shops on board, the casino, and the booze you are all set.

The reasons I'm not a huge fan is that it feels so safe, regimented, and Americanized. You get off the boat and you have like 5 hours, and that is it. No time to really see anything interesting. Just enough to walk around, be harassed getting off the boat by locals  trying to sell you drunk, or sit at the beach that is the cruise endorsed one.
 
2013-02-12 04:45:26 PM  

Madbassist1: You're an arrogant ass. At least I admit when I'm wrong, asshole.


I see you're doubling down on the touchy.

Let's recap, shall we? You post something that is 100% wrong and in the process infer the poster you are "correcting" is stupid (If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?) for even suggesting something so obviously wrong (when in fact, they were right).

But, I'm a wise-ass, an asshole and an arrogant ass (do you have any personal attacks that don't include ass?). Got it.
 
2013-02-12 04:48:59 PM  

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: You're an arrogant ass. At least I admit when I'm wrong, asshole.

I see you're doubling down on the touchy.

Let's recap, shall we? You post something that is 100% wrong and in the process infer the poster you are "correcting" is stupid (If it stops anywhere, you need a farking passport. Why would you say that shiat?) for even suggesting something so obviously wrong (when in fact, they were right).

But, I'm a wise-ass, an asshole and an arrogant ass (do you have any personal attacks that don't include ass?). Got it.


yes. You saying I'm still wrong while replying to the post where I said "opps, you're right, I was wrong, here's why" infers that your a retard as well, so I'll throw that one in, too. Like I said, At least I can admit when I am wrong. Too bad you can't say the same.
 
2013-02-12 05:01:16 PM  

Madbassist1: Like I said, At least I can admit when I am wrong. Too bad you can't say the same.


Where have I been wrong?

Kudos on a personal insult that didn't include ass.

And because I'm nice, I won't point out the humor in "your a retard".
 
2013-02-12 05:29:42 PM  

NightOwl2255: Madbassist1: Like I said, At least I can admit when I am wrong. Too bad you can't say the same.

Where have I been wrong?


Telling me I was still wrong after I corrected myself.  You still seem to be missing it, please reread the last few posts. I don't like hurling insults, especially when I've already been wrong, but you seem especially dense about this.

Kudos on a personal insult that didn't include ass.

And because I'm nice, I won't point out the humor in "your a retard".


As far as your a retard

[that's the joke.jpg]

Hasnt it always been? Like your a moran?

I'm not saying you're a bad person or anything, relax, you're still the smartest guy in the room! I'm just saying it's a post foul to say I was still wrong, when I corrected myself. Please go on with your self-congratulation and forget you met me, Napoleon
 
2013-02-12 05:43:09 PM  

Madbassist1: I don't like hurling insults


All evidence to the contrary.

Madbassist1: As far as your a retard

[that's the joke.jpg]


For FSM's sake, stop digging. It's gone from being jerky to downright sad.
 
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