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(USA Today)   Day 2: The situation has grown dire. Passengers have eaten the carved watermelon that once adorned the now-empty buffet table. Without leisure activities, factions have formed. The Indonesian room stewards have folded towels into improvised weapons   (usatoday.com) divider line 220
    More: Scary, cruise line, fire suppression, Carnival Cruise Lines, Yucatan Peninsula, petty officers, activity theory  
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23555 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 3:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-11 02:30:11 PM  
I liked this one.
 
2013-02-11 02:37:23 PM  
Good one, subby.
 
2013-02-11 03:04:45 PM  
They could make it home if the stupid trash robot would just give the plant to the captain.
 
2013-02-11 03:45:55 PM  
You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!
 
2013-02-11 03:47:19 PM  
Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?
 
2013-02-11 03:47:34 PM  
This was the ship the wife and I took out first cruise on back in September. I couldn't imagine being stuck on it or in Progresso Mexico.
 
2013-02-11 03:47:46 PM  
Soon it will be a ghost ship whose halls are haunted by the horrid humans who once hungered for each others flesh
 
2013-02-11 03:47:55 PM  
My co worker is on that ship!!  Good speed old man!
 
2013-02-11 03:48:00 PM  

ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!


When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.
 
2013-02-11 03:49:00 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2013-02-11 03:49:44 PM  

UberDave: They could make it home if the stupid trash robot would just give the plant to the captain.


What you did there. The space hippies see it.
 
2013-02-11 03:50:26 PM  
The dialysis guy from the article:
some people have no business being on cruise ships.
 
2013-02-11 03:50:32 PM  
Don't worry -- the Captain managed to shoot an albatross, so at least they'll have some meat.
 
GBB
2013-02-11 03:50:43 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
/oblig
 
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  

pacochu: Progresso Mexico.


mmmmmm soup
 
2013-02-11 03:50:59 PM  
Ladyfingers.  They taste just like ladyfingers.
 
2013-02-11 03:53:22 PM  

ChipNASA: mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?

Just beef in the shower and heel it down the drain.


I'd never heard of this until Foul Bachelor frog. No one really does this right, I worry about my slow drains enough already.
 
2013-02-11 03:53:25 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Google would be your friend, but the easy explanation was that in the days of sailing ships, the bathroom was always in the front of the ship - the 'head'.  This is because the ship would always more or less be in the position where the wind was coming from the aft of the ship, blowing waste and any nasty odors away from the ship.
 
2013-02-11 03:54:36 PM  
Carnival is offering a cruise credit, because I'm sure after this experience everyone on that boat wants another cruise.
 
2013-02-11 03:54:45 PM  
"You have died of dysentery."
 
2013-02-11 03:55:18 PM  
Serves the douchebags right.

Be a landlubber like me, and that will never happen to you.

/Is jealous of people who take cruises.
 
2013-02-11 03:55:36 PM  

mrlewish: Few functional toilets?  Why do you think they call it the head?


Ship toilets work via a vacuum system instead of swirling water. A courtesy flush applies some heavenly suction on the ol' junk & trunk! Um - so I've heard - somewhere...
 
2013-02-11 03:55:59 PM  

Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.


"Not COOL Butters, you don't just snap a towel in the dick"

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 03:56:25 PM  
A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.
 
2013-02-11 03:56:34 PM  
At least they got the fire under control quickly. In 2011, I was on a cruise where the supercharger for one of the diesels when all kablooy - completely destroying one of the two powerplants for the ship and starting a pretty serious fire.

There's quite the pucker factor when you hear the ship's captain tell the crew to start evacuating decks and prepare muster stations.

/also got to experience a medical evacuation from a ship in December
//being left in Nuku Hiva is no fun
 
2013-02-11 03:56:47 PM  
Yeah, maybe I've seen too many movies; but, they ain't getting me on one of those floating death traps.

The reasons being:

1. Older couple who think they can hang glide; but obviously can't. Hang in there, nanna.

2. If she starts taking on water; it's women and children first. And obvious cross-dressing dudes. And mom said tv rots your brain.

3. Somalian pirates! Jamal and his friends, with a 10 horse trolling motor, just took out a 70 person security force.

4. The buffet has a 100% chance giardia. Don't eat that shiat.

/ that is all
 
2013-02-11 03:57:36 PM  
"My wife (is) on this cruise and has said the conditions were horrible. No power, no water, having to use the bathroom in bags,"

Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?
 
2013-02-11 03:57:53 PM  
I'd be all for this happening. I can piss over the side and tank my solid waste for a few days. Hell they are refunding your bar tab. That is hundreds per person right there. Three days of free top shelf (well mid shelf, it is carnival) booze. Wouldn't have to twist my arm.
 
2013-02-11 03:58:01 PM  

born_yesterday: Ladyfingers.  They taste just like ladyfingers.


That's a fantastic short story. I always imagine Nestor Carbonell for some reason.


/also, go on a real vacation, who the hell goes on a cruise? thousands of cattle trapped on a boat. seems smart. rent a private yacht for a week, seriously.
 
2013-02-11 03:59:49 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?


Just make a note of the wind direction
 
2013-02-11 04:00:26 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?


Probably not an option for the geriatric set.

Still, I'd expect that they could rig SOMETHING up.  Remember - Piss WITH the wind, not against it.
 
2013-02-11 04:00:55 PM  

robohobo: /also, go on a real vacation, who the hell goes on a cruise? thousands of cattle trapped on a boat. seems smart. rent a private yacht for a week, seriously.


"Rent"? Fark that. You sound poor...
 
2013-02-11 04:01:40 PM  
At that rate day 5 will look like this

images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-11 04:01:49 PM  

Firethorn: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship? They're in the ocean. Isn't that like a really big toilet, as it is?

Probably not an option for the geriatric set.


Toss them over the side, too.
 
2013-02-11 04:02:01 PM  
Cruise ship room stewards regularly fold towels into vicious animals:

3.bp.blogspot.com

/stubmitter
 
2013-02-11 04:02:33 PM  
<i>A Carnival Triumph passenger in need of dialysis will be transferred off the ship later today to another Carnival vessel, </i>

What is this, the Carnival HMO?  Get him to see a real doctor
 
2013-02-11 04:02:49 PM  
That seems like a pretty shiatty payoff from Carnival. "Hey, we put your life at risk, so here's your money back, plus a gift card for future purchases from us"
 
2013-02-11 04:03:25 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction


Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.
 
2013-02-11 04:03:56 PM  
Why don't they just hop in the lifeboats and sail to shore?
 
2013-02-11 04:04:21 PM  

Yaxe: ChipNASA: You know, you wet the tip of a towel and snap it just the right way, you could leave a *WELT* or even possibly, BREAK THE SKIN!!!

When I was in freshmen swimming class in high school, the swim coach delivered a story about how some guy apparently split the dick of another kid in half with a tower with probably one of the best poker faces I've ever seen.

Either that or he was telling the truth.


Something similar happened to my best friend in high school.  He and another guy were screwing around in the locker room, snapping towels at each other.  The other guy hit my buddy in the nut, causing it to swell.  The towel caught him in the deferens and cut off the blood or something.  His nut swelled up to about softball size.  Had to be rushed to the hospital to fix it.

So, those stories your coach tells you about snapping towels isn't all bullshiat.  I was there, I saw what can happen.  *shudders*
 
2013-02-11 04:05:59 PM  
Fark 'em.
They knew what they were getting into when they bought their tickets.
 
2013-02-11 04:07:39 PM  
If you somewhat enjoy self-reliance, stay off those damn cruise ships. When something goes wrong, they become prisoner ships. Stinking, complaining, drunken prisoner ships.
 
2013-02-11 04:07:51 PM  
But is the bar ok?!
 
2013-02-11 04:07:59 PM  
If anyone is interested, there's a derelict Russian cruise ship floating around the Atlantic right now. A tug boat was towing it from Newfoundland to the Dominican Republic to be scrapped and the rope dun broke or sumpin'.
The Canuckian government basically said "F**k it! It's someone else's problem now".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova
 
xcv
2013-02-11 04:08:39 PM  

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


And it becomes a lesson in trickle-down economics when the elites in their upper level suites start dropping bodily waste onto the balconies and portholes of the lower classes literally beneath them.
 
2013-02-11 04:08:46 PM  

one0nine: A good friend of mine is aboard this ship as well... can't wait to hear his harrowing tales of survival.


Friends of ours are on it as well. I think the worst thing about it for them is now everyone knows they went on a Carnival cruise.
 
2013-02-11 04:09:10 PM  
Sure, it's all fun and games in the warmth of your mom's basement.  But, somewhere off the coast of Mexico, it's a Mexican nightmare.  Wait until the survivors begin telling stories of awakening in a bathtub full of icecubes ...
 
2013-02-11 04:09:43 PM  

justanotherfarkinfarker: I'd be all for this happening. I can piss over the side and tank my solid waste for a few days. Hell they are refunding your bar tab. That is hundreds per person right there. Three days of free top shelf (well mid shelf, it is carnival) booze. Wouldn't have to twist my arm.


We were stuck in Mexico near Cancun during Hurricane Wilma (our honeymoon!).  During the storm we got cold food brought to our rooms by intrepid (see:  desperately poor and unwilling to lose their jobs) staff members.  Post-storm, we had two days of standing in line for questionable food.  Day two the pools were functional and they were pumping out the cisterns (so if you had a brain you would scoop water in your trash can and dump it in your toilet so you could flush).  Day three the bars were up and running and food service was pretty good.  We got an extra six days before they flew us out of there and we were no worse for wear with a ton of free booze and sunshine.  All cool here.
 
2013-02-11 04:10:19 PM  
images.wikia.com
simpsonswiki.net

The Simpsons did it
 
2013-02-11 04:12:13 PM  

dk47: justanotherfarkinfarker: Sin_City_Superhero: Can't they just drop trou, and shiat over the side of the ship?

Just make a note of the wind direction

Just imagine the shiat stains down the side of that ship.  Those things are so big I doubt most of the turds make it to teh water.


poop chute, similar to what they use for doing demo on a tall building
 
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