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(Gothamist)   Did you know Thomas Edison was really into cat boxing? That and other things you might not have known about him on his 166th birthday   (gothamist.com) divider line 134
    More: Interesting, Thomas Edison, camera pans, metropolitan, Mary Shelley, history books  
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6581 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 2:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-11 04:46:46 PM  
This thread needs some They Might Be Giants.

The tallest, widest, and most famous haunted mansion in New Jersey.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:57 PM  

Tiberius Gracchus: sloshed_again: oldfarthenry: Didn't Edison electrocute stray cats & dogs in public to discredit Tesla's alternating current?
The man was a bit of a dick.

Yes and a DICK to humans too.

Yeah, but on the other hand he wasn't so pant-shiattingly insane that he was incapable of taking care of himself or marketing his products to actually help people.  if it weren't for Edison stealing some of his ideas and Westinghouse's charity most of them never would have seen the light of day and just been the journalistic ramblings of a madman.


To be fair, if Tesla wouldn't of rescinded his patent, Westinghouse would of been bankrupt and Tesla would of never gotten the idea of AC out to the public. We would be most likely be using DC.
 
2013-02-11 05:11:14 PM  

Pitabred: Dog Welder: Also, he's apparently really old.  166th birthday?  Wow.

Most people just abbreviate "The 166th anniversary of his birthday" as "His 166th birthday", just like you drop that bit when you describe your birthday. But I can see how you'd get confused.


Well, if you want to get technical, "date of birth" is the date of an event that only happened once.  "Birthday" is an annual occasion.

You can have many birthdays.  You only have one date of birth.
 
2013-02-11 05:15:27 PM  
 
2013-02-11 05:18:01 PM  
The Dark Secrets of Thomas Alva Edison

1. He enjoyed cat-boxing but at first he tried to get his engineers to box each other for food, but they slapped like little girls. Nicholas Tesla was a first-rate (if feather weight) boxer, but got bored of beating up nerds and geeks and took a swing at Edison, and that was the end of Nicholas Tesla.

2. Edison electrocuted an elephant as propaganda against Westinghouse's alternating current, which could carry electricity over much greater distances and was a threat to Edison's direct current. He enjoyed it so much that he became addicted to electrocuting big game. The African elephant population dropped mysteriously from 19,000,000 in the XIXth century to 190,000 in 1902.

3. Edison was a bit of a Momma's boy but the real reason he invented the light bulb was to illuminate pornography and exotic dancing displays such as the popular French can-can.

4. Edison insisted that the purpose of the electric phonograph was to record business conversations and notes and had to be be slapped around by Nicholas Tesla before he would admit to the possibility of recording music and educational lectures on his machine. He insisted to his death that the phonograph was the businessman's best friend after a cheap French floozie doing the can-can with no underwear.

5. Edison was very quick to put his name on anything his stable of engineers came up with. He has thousands of patents, but he was lazy, stupid, greedy, and mean. In fact, he only came up with a better filament for the light bulb (which had already been invented) by trial and error. A Chimpanzee could have done the job.

6. Edison had a pet chimpanzee named Mr. Bubbles. This chimpanzee was a direct ancestor of Michael Jackson's pet, Bubbles, as well as Ronald Reagan's co-star, Bonzo. Mr. Bubbles was the second smartest "man" in the Edison operation after Nicholas Tesla (in reality, however, Bubbles was not a man, but a girl). Unfortanately he pulled Edison's left arm off and was sold to P.T. Barnum who shaved him and fooled people into believing that he was the Head of the U.S. Patent Office.

It is a well-kept secret (until now), but Bubbles made several of Edison's most famous inventions (minus the phonograph and the light bulb). Unfortunately, not only did he not get the credit that was his due, but his great-great grandson, Bonzo, very closely missed becoming the GOP nominee for President in 1980. He was rejected only because he was, in chimp years, even older than Reagan, albeit still less demented.

7. Edison's left arm was fake. He had numerous attachments he could fix to it for different purposes. Among these was a ruler, a protractor, a French sex toy with an ostrich feather and various odd devices, a cork-screw, and a device which Edison invented for opening champagne bottles without the cork flying into your eye. This turned out to be the rubber band. Which had already been invented. By a French golden-crested macaque in 1843 in the municipal zoo of the City of Paris.
 
2013-02-11 05:20:54 PM  
I'm sure it's been said several times, but I have to say it myself:  Edison was nothing more than a thief.  He didn't invent jack-shiat.  Maybe he shoulda put a patent on stealing somebody else's ideas.  He was good at that.  Oh, and, TESLA RULES.
 
2013-02-11 05:31:47 PM  
So to recap, Edison became rich, famous, and bedded women.
Tesla died poor, a footnote in history, and was celibate.

I think I understand the Fark hate now.
 
2013-02-11 05:37:34 PM  

theurge14: So to recap, Edison became rich, famous, and bedded women.
Tesla died poor, a footnote in history, and was celibate.

I think I understand the Fark hate now.


If Tesla had invented Cheetos, the site would be named after him.
 
2013-02-11 05:39:40 PM  
 

theurge14: Tesla died poor, a footnote in history, and was celibate.


1. Yup.
2. That seems to be changing, and Edison doesn't have a rock band named after him.
3. I bet he was celibate just with women, if you get my drift.
 
2013-02-11 05:43:21 PM  
Don't forget bonsai kittens...

lolosad.com
 
2013-02-11 05:51:52 PM  
He pooped a hammer.
 
2013-02-11 06:18:58 PM  

destrip: sloshed_again: TESLA rules. Nobody mention that Edison wouldn't let Tesla use his light@ at the worlds fair


I believe Edison bulbs were used, but Tesla's alternating current, generated in one of the big exhibit halls (how cool must that have been to see?) provided the power to light them.

If I could time travel to one event in history, the 1893 world's fair would be extremely high on my list.


Actually Tesla had to make those bulbs himself - the screw fitting was an Edison patent. His solution was a two-prong electrical connection on the bottom of the conventional bulb design similar to the end of a fluorescent bulb. Knowing Tesla, probably didn't patent this as well...
 
2013-02-11 06:19:17 PM  
Thomas Edison grew up in my hometown so Im getting kicks. My best friends grandmother owns the property where Edsion's workshop burned down. We did some digging around and found a few items buried in the dirt.

/csb
 
2013-02-11 06:24:57 PM  

theurge14: So to recap, Edison became rich, famous, and bedded women.
Tesla died poor, a footnote in history, and was celibate.

I think I understand the Fark hate now.


Well ya see back in those days we weren't as pussified yet, so everyone didn't get a trophy just for trying.
 
2013-02-11 06:32:47 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 07:17:15 PM  

give me doughnuts: We all already know he was douchebag patent-thief who got off on eletrocuting animals. What else do we really need to know?


Which animals are most erotic when electrocuted, for one.
 
2013-02-11 07:18:25 PM  
I see many of you have internalized Drunk History. Well done.
 
2013-02-11 07:29:29 PM  

everlastinggobstopper: I see many of you have internalized Drunk History. Well done.


Keep my social life out of this.
 
2013-02-11 07:39:24 PM  

megarian: everlastinggobstopper: I see many of you have internalized Drunk History. Well done.

Keep my social life out of this.


You should chew your pineapple more thoroughly.
 
2013-02-11 07:42:30 PM  

MBrady: give me doughnuts: We all already know he was douchebag patent-thief who got off on eletrocuting animals. What else do we really need to know?

JP Morgan backed him instead of Tesla.  And to try and prove that DC current was "better" than Tesla's AC current to power a city grid, Edison electrocuted an elephant.  He also tried to execute a human, but had the voltage too low, so he actually burned him to death.  In fact, they (Morgan and Edison) started calling it "Westinghoused" rather than electrocution.  (Westinghouse backed Tesla).

Anything else?



Not that I doubt you but link? I want to read about this story.
 
2013-02-11 07:50:45 PM  

jigger: Edison was the worst kind of shiatbag.


I'm gonna put that on a tshirt.

Deep Contact: You know who else was a dick was JP Morgan.


Yeah, but she was great on The Gong Show.
 
2013-02-11 08:34:16 PM  
That and Edison sought to kill all his competitors
 
2013-02-11 09:00:08 PM  
i3.photobucket.com

i3.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 09:08:10 PM  

megarian: CptnSpldng: megarian: Tesla:
Ten out of ten. Would fark.


copyright Kate Beaton

This....this is just fantastic.


http://harkavagrant.com is a site to treasure and worthy of anyone's bookmark.
 
2013-02-11 09:11:20 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: That and Edison sought to kill all his competitors


So, basically Edison was a wannabe meth kingpin?
 
2013-02-11 09:19:38 PM  

dletter: Clemkadidlefark: That and Edison sought to kill all his competitors

So, basically Edison was a wannabe meth kingpin?


Well, he was a crime lord. Certainly. He played rough, and he had the money to pay people to do nasty things to his competitors.

Really, if history shows us anything, it's that the principle of "nice guys finish last" is true. Edison was mean. He was an asshole. I don't think he had a nice bone in his body. And he was remembered as the greatest inventor and father of electricity. He was wealthy. He has all those patents that will always be in his name. He has the credit.

Meanwhile, Tesla was a modest, nice guy by all accounts. He was quiet and dedicated. He was not a backstabbing, vicious man like Edison, and as a result Edison pushed him out of the picture, took credit for many of his discoveries, and fought tooth and nail to discredit him-- Successfully, I might add-- for many, many years.

It's only recently that people are saying any of this. In their lifetimes, Tesla was the loser, and Edison was one of the most respected, wealthy men in the world.

Only bastards get to the top, and they do that by stepping on the good guys. Edison is proof.
 
2013-02-11 09:36:38 PM  

CptnSpldng: megarian: CptnSpldng: megarian: Tesla:
Ten out of ten. Would fark.


copyright Kate Beaton

This....this is just fantastic.

http://harkavagrant.com is a site to treasure and worthy of anyone's bookmark.


Thank you for this gift.
 
2013-02-11 09:37:21 PM  

everlastinggobstopper: megarian: everlastinggobstopper: I see many of you have internalized Drunk History. Well done.

Keep my social life out of this.

You should chew your pineapple more thoroughly.


I DO WHuT I WUNT!
 
2013-02-11 09:46:00 PM  
Why not give them some proper weapons?
i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-02-11 09:50:30 PM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: He pooped a hammer.


I less than three you
 
2013-02-11 09:51:49 PM  

megarian: everlastinggobstopper: megarian: everlastinggobstopper: I see many of you have internalized Drunk History. Well done.

Keep my social life out of this.

You should chew your pineapple more thoroughly.

I DO WHuT I WUNT!


That's what you think, pigeon lover.
 
2013-02-11 10:44:43 PM  
Ah, this reminds me of the guy who was so damn proud that he gave his son "Edison" for his first name because he has some family ties to the mega-douche. Edison was a cutthroat bastard and a thief. Fark him.
 
2013-02-12 07:35:58 AM  
Edison was an evil man. While he was crying for stronger patent protection, he was busying destroying the life of George Melies by distributing his movies in the US without permission. He electrocuted an elephant and pushed to electrocute a prisoner to prove that AC power was lethal, trying to destroy Tesla. Sure, Tesla thought he spoke to aliens because poor guy had mental issues, but unlike Edison, he was an actual inventor, instead of stealing patents and claiming them as his own inventions.
 
2013-02-12 07:52:00 AM  

bearded clamorer: jigger: Edison was the worst kind of shiatbag.

I'm gonna put that on a tshirt.

Deep Contact: You know who else was a dick was JP Morgan.

Yeah, but she was great on The Gong Show.


Oh yeah! Hey Chuckie, I got a joke that will curl your hair. Oh I see you already heard it---unknown comic
 
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