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(Patch)   Farkers: Creative suggestions needed for a free Valentine's Day gift - because it's the thought that counts, right?   (dacula.patch.com) divider line 32
    More: Misc, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day gift, blood donors  
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2431 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 11:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-11 11:13:17 AM
5 votes:
Hand-drawn valentine card and oral until she passes out.
2013-02-11 11:24:20 AM
4 votes:

Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.


There is no excuse for a person over 6 years old to not know to put the dollar sign first.
2013-02-11 11:16:27 AM
4 votes:
Make it a "Valentine's Day to End Sexism" and demand that she shower you with gifts and affection.
2013-02-11 11:19:51 AM
3 votes:
There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.
2013-02-11 11:50:22 AM
2 votes:
A good, solid fisting.

Don't take "No" for an answer.

Give her the solid fisting no matter what.

Do it without saying anything.

Do it the first moment you see her, no matter where you are.
2013-02-11 11:23:33 AM
2 votes:
Find a cemetary with a fresh addition, steal the flowers.
2013-02-11 11:23:27 AM
2 votes:
Post it notes. Put them in places she'll discover later. Hand write sexy things about how she smells, looks, makes you feel.

Do something romantic for the evening, & let her find the notes. Then reap the long term benefits of a little effort.
2013-02-11 11:19:15 AM
2 votes:
Make a list of things you hate about her and give her an ultimatum to fix them all or you are leaving.
2013-02-11 11:18:59 AM
2 votes:
Steak and a BJ?

Getting a job so you can afford to buy prezzies?

Steal something?

Strap on butt sex?

Finally take that shower you've been putting off?

Hmmm, I guess it's been a while since my last relationship. I wonder why?
2013-02-11 11:15:42 AM
2 votes:
Coupons for activities s/he will enjoy

A hand made card with a poem you wrote yourself

A candle-lit home cooked meal

Wicked sloppy bang time
2013-02-11 11:07:33 AM
2 votes:
Carve her initials in the kitchen broom handle.
2013-02-11 11:05:06 AM
2 votes:
Weener in a box.
2013-02-12 07:28:44 AM
1 votes:

empres77: Arthurgoboom: Hand-drawn valentine card and oral until she passes out.

I like the cut of your jib. So much THIS.

Also, any dude who rails against the commercialism of Valentine's Day has obviously never heard of Steak and Blowjob Day.


We've heard of it. It's the wives that need education
2013-02-11 07:19:15 PM
1 votes:

KrispyKritter: in my loveless sexless sham of a marriage we exchange no cards or gifts. i finally caught on about 2 years ago after growing tired of my giving being a one way street for around the previous 4 years.


Give her one last valentine's card. Put the divorce decree inside it.
2013-02-11 03:41:40 PM
1 votes:
Hilah shows you how to make chocolate truffles.
2013-02-11 02:17:39 PM
1 votes:

the money is in the banana stand: Heist: Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.

No, there is not. However, the "traditional" dozen roses on Valentine's day will run about $75. While I could easily afford $75 for flowers, I don't want to. You could find 1,000 more meaningful ways to spend that money. You could go out to dinner, or buy some nice wine, or that's gas money for a day trip to the beach on a warm weekend, or a couples massage; something actually romantic. My wife likes flowers, but she is mercifully practical enough to be just as outraged at V-Day price gouging as I am.

Flowers are not in lieu of a gift, but in addition to. At the very least you need some sort of dinner (restaurant, cooked, or ordered in), flowers, and a card. Gifts are not necessary unless it is a special circumstance. Roses in my opinion are cheesy. In my experience, most girls really don't care much for roses. When it comes to birthdays or valentine's day, being frugal to the point of jewish is not a good way of approaching things. It is the one time out of the year where you can and should splurge a little.


Really?  It's 2013 and you think that's still an acceptable phrase?

/oh and I like roses, just prefer yellow, cream, and peach.
2013-02-11 02:17:14 PM
1 votes:

antidumbass: My GF & I don't celebrate V-Day. She was dumped by an abusive ex on that day~ bad memories.


I think I'd want to celebrate a day that someone abusive dumped me, but then I'm so crazy that I would have dumped the abuser first.

/doesn't believe in Valentine's Day, but will be buying chocolate-covered Gummi Bears for the Mrs., and something small for my daughter.
2013-02-11 12:25:26 PM
1 votes:
Forever Alone thread.

i3.kym-cdn.com
2013-02-11 11:46:29 AM
1 votes:
Myself, I agreed to watch one of the terrible chick flicks with her while we eat takeout. Last year was the notebook. A major selling point for this was I agreed to keep my mouth shut, thankfully I am allowed to get drunk.
2013-02-11 11:44:18 AM
1 votes:
give her an australian kiss.

it's like a french kiss, only down under.
2013-02-11 11:37:44 AM
1 votes:
Coupons are fun, and a home cooked dinner can be romantic, but nothing gets more tail than diamonds.
2013-02-11 11:34:29 AM
1 votes:
Here's a suggestion:  Get a job you cheap ass!
2013-02-11 11:33:27 AM
1 votes:

Glancing Blow: If by this time in your relationship you need the help of others to tell you what would make her happy, then your relationship lacks intimacy. Something simple and lasting is best. A pair of earrings that you like is perfect. Women like talking with their friends and will enjoy say that you bought them for her.


Then in the real world, some people like to be a bit more creative than cheap jewelry or a singing hallmark card and like to get ideas that they may not have thought up yet which line up with their SO's  interests.

As for free gifts, not sure what that could be since the cooler and more thoughtful a gift is, it generally seems to require more time and resources. Like, you could put together a steampunk looking heart out of gears and brass knobs and shiat and set it in epoxy resin but that's not exactly free.

Maybe read to her while she takes a bath. Taking a dump while you do it may negate the romance of the moment though.
2013-02-11 11:31:30 AM
1 votes:

Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.


No, there is not. However, the "traditional" dozen roses on Valentine's day will run about $75. While I could easily afford $75 for flowers, I don't want to. You could find 1,000 more meaningful ways to spend that money. You could go out to dinner, or buy some nice wine, or that's gas money for a day trip to the beach on a warm weekend, or a couples massage; something actually romantic. My wife likes flowers, but she is mercifully practical enough to be just as outraged at V-Day price gouging as I am.
2013-02-11 11:27:17 AM
1 votes:
Comfy couch cushions, since you'll be sleeping there for a bit.
2013-02-11 11:27:01 AM
1 votes:
Do a in-home piercing on her.
2013-02-11 11:26:44 AM
1 votes:
Those hot sauce packets from Taco Bell are always nice...
2013-02-11 11:20:09 AM
1 votes:
A manifesto on the soulless corporate nature of Valentine's Day. Then a shared bubble bath.
2013-02-11 11:19:52 AM
1 votes:
Pearl Necklace
2013-02-11 11:18:49 AM
1 votes:
Last year I found a heart shaped Scotch scrubby pad and some cleaner in a pink bottle. I added a ribbon and voila- happy valentines day. Stupid ass made up holiday!
2013-02-11 11:17:09 AM
1 votes:
You might as well masturbate, because that's the only sex you will receive.

Ponzholio: Everybody loves macaroni art.

But if it's Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, it's a crime.
2013-02-11 11:12:13 AM
1 votes:

SnarfVader: Carve her initials in the kitchen broom handle.


Carve her initials in your forearm.
 
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