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(Patch)   Farkers: Creative suggestions needed for a free Valentine's Day gift - because it's the thought that counts, right?   (dacula.patch.com) divider line 200
    More: Misc, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day gift, blood donors  
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2429 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 11:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-11 11:32:07 AM
My GF & I don't celebrate V-Day. She was dumped by an abusive ex on that day~ bad memories.
Sounds sappy, but we've agreed to love each other *every* day and we've never had a fight.
Yeah, I suppose it's the thought that counts.
 
2013-02-11 11:33:27 AM

Glancing Blow: If by this time in your relationship you need the help of others to tell you what would make her happy, then your relationship lacks intimacy. Something simple and lasting is best. A pair of earrings that you like is perfect. Women like talking with their friends and will enjoy say that you bought them for her.


Then in the real world, some people like to be a bit more creative than cheap jewelry or a singing hallmark card and like to get ideas that they may not have thought up yet which line up with their SO's  interests.

As for free gifts, not sure what that could be since the cooler and more thoughtful a gift is, it generally seems to require more time and resources. Like, you could put together a steampunk looking heart out of gears and brass knobs and shiat and set it in epoxy resin but that's not exactly free.

Maybe read to her while she takes a bath. Taking a dump while you do it may negate the romance of the moment though.
 
2013-02-11 11:34:01 AM
google..."the farksaw"
 
2013-02-11 11:34:29 AM
Here's a suggestion:  Get a job you cheap ass!
 
2013-02-11 11:34:56 AM
meds
 
2013-02-11 11:35:09 AM

ModernPrimitive01: get her involved with one billion rising the women against violence campaign. They big world wide get together is Valentine's day. She feels empowered and you look good for supporting her


That... could actually be a good idea.  Especially if you pack a picnic lunch and go somewhere nice and free before or after.

/spent a Valentine's Day 4 years ago with my boyfriend above a Vagina Monologue performance (he volunteered to run the lighting)
//we're still together
///still not really the biggest VM fan, but some friends of his were really passionate about putting on the production so he volunteered, only guy in the cast or crew... that was pretty damn attractive in and of itself
 
2013-02-11 11:35:35 AM
I'm thinking its time to go to fifth base.  Look it up if need be.
 
2013-02-11 11:35:51 AM

Heist: Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.

No, there is not. However, the "traditional" dozen roses on Valentine's day will run about $75. While I could easily afford $75 for flowers, I don't want to. You could find 1,000 more meaningful ways to spend that money. You could go out to dinner, or buy some nice wine, or that's gas money for a day trip to the beach on a warm weekend, or a couples massage; something actually romantic. My wife likes flowers, but she is mercifully practical enough to be just as outraged at V-Day price gouging as I am.


Do the guys under the Ben Franklin Bridge hike up their prices for V-day? I never thought to check.
 
2013-02-11 11:37:44 AM
Coupons are fun, and a home cooked dinner can be romantic, but nothing gets more tail than diamonds.
 
2013-02-11 11:38:17 AM
Well, if you're really desperate for free flowers, funeral homes throw away tons of 'em.  You just have to pick through and find the ones that are still fresh.

Yes I've done this in high school.

/This year we'll be playing Aliens and I'll probably grill some fish.
 
2013-02-11 11:39:23 AM
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit
Sentiment will not endear it
What's important is the price

/wrong holiday I know, but still applies
 
2013-02-11 11:40:22 AM

Private_Citizen: Coupons are fun, and a home cooked dinner can be romantic, but nothing gets more tail than diamonds.


Ah yes... "Diamonds... because she'll pretty much have to."
 
2013-02-11 11:40:33 AM
Move out.
 
2013-02-11 11:43:34 AM
A dildo and a pair of slippers, if she don't like the slippers, she can go fark herself.
/Not mine, seen it some movie years ago.
 
2013-02-11 11:44:13 AM

Heist: Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.

No, there is not. However, the "traditional" dozen roses on Valentine's day will run about $75. While I could easily afford $75 for flowers, I don't want to. You could find 1,000 more meaningful ways to spend that money. You could go out to dinner, or buy some nice wine, or that's gas money for a day trip to the beach on a warm weekend, or a couples massage; something actually romantic. My wife likes flowers, but she is mercifully practical enough to be just as outraged at V-Day price gouging as I am.


A superior way to spend that same $75, and it won't wilt in a week (but she might.)

http://www.jimmyjane.com/shop/hellotouch-p-260.html

Article about it on here a while ago, so I don't feel bad pimping it.

/it's an augmentation, not a substitute
//she also gets chocolate; you can't eat flowers
 
2013-02-11 11:44:18 AM
give her an australian kiss.

it's like a french kiss, only down under.
 
2013-02-11 11:44:24 AM
Modified paper towel holder

/It's the gift that keeps on, uh, giving?
 
2013-02-11 11:44:45 AM
Free facial for her
BJ for you
Win win
 
2013-02-11 11:45:37 AM
UFIA
 
2013-02-11 11:46:13 AM
Simple: ignore Valentine's Day. Any guy who falls for this idiocy is a fool. Just do something nice and romantic for her regularly and forget the Separate You From Your Money Holiday #1. If she insists on observing it, find another she.
 
2013-02-11 11:46:29 AM
Myself, I agreed to watch one of the terrible chick flicks with her while we eat takeout. Last year was the notebook. A major selling point for this was I agreed to keep my mouth shut, thankfully I am allowed to get drunk.
 
2013-02-11 11:47:11 AM
give her a facial. while she is sleeping...tug one out on her face and hair. should make her hair all shiny.

she will thank you for it.

tape it for us though just to see her reaction.
 
2013-02-11 11:47:12 AM

Prevailing Wind: Have a page of make me a better man items


Sounds like what she probably wants is a real man, not your snivelling, pussy-ass.
 
2013-02-11 11:47:25 AM

Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.


What's the excuse to use '20$' instead of '$20?'
 
2013-02-11 11:47:53 AM

Kristoph57: Post it notes. Put them in places she'll discover later. Hand write sexy things about how she smells, looks, makes you feel.

Do something romantic for the evening, & let her find the notes. Then reap the long term benefits of a little effort.


Seriously....that's a REALLY good idea. I'm using this one.
 
2013-02-11 11:50:22 AM
A good, solid fisting.

Don't take "No" for an answer.

Give her the solid fisting no matter what.

Do it without saying anything.

Do it the first moment you see her, no matter where you are.
 
2013-02-11 11:50:38 AM
Get her favorite chocolate flavor, and some berries and bananas and pineapples. Seen an edible arrangement? That's what you're doing, and you're going to spend no more than ten bucks doing it. Get some lettuce, a cheap vase, a box of strawberries, chocolate (I found that Hershey's dark, milk chocolate, and cookies and cream work real well), two pots that nest inside each other, a stove, water, and kebab sticks. Clear some space in your freezer.

Clean fruits, put water in lower pot, medium heat. Place upper pot in lower pot so that water is at least touching the bottom of the upper pot. Grab a fork and stick the berries, and kebab berry on the end. Melt chocolate in upper pot, dip and roll berries USING FORK, and then set berries in freezer using kebab as a brace against other things (you don't want the berries to touch your freezer or you'll get a funny flat side that looks bad). Once you've done enough berries and chocolate to your liking, repeat with other fruits. NOTE: IF THE CHOCOLATE STARTS TO "CAKE": you need to turn down the heat a tad and clean out the chocolate pan and just use new chocolate. At that phase it has begun to dehydrate and really is too much of a pain in the ass to save.

Next, as berries are cooling (don't let them freeze...) put filler, beit small beads or gravel or whatever the hell you want about halfway up your vase. Take lettuce and neatly form it in the upper third. You need a little space to allow for lettuce compression from placing in sticks. Once berries are cooled, arrange in whatever you think looks pretty (if you're not going to be fancy, arrange strawberries to look like a bouquet of roses, and insert different colored fruits in between bunches of 3-5 strawberries). Flare the lettuce around the edges of the vase to make it prettier, and take a small ribbon (optional) and tie to vase. Insert sappy card or note, and BAM! You've now got a decent Edible Arrangement knockoff for about $10. (~$13 if you get pineapples or marshmallows).

Works for mothers day, valentines day, and birthdays. They love it because they love edible arrangements, and then they love it again because you actually spent time to make it yourself.
 
2013-02-11 11:51:52 AM

StreetlightInTheGhetto: ModernPrimitive01: get her involved with one billion rising the women against violence campaign. They big world wide get together is Valentine's day. She feels empowered and you look good for supporting her

That... could actually be a good idea.  Especially if you pack a picnic lunch and go somewhere nice and free before or after.

/spent a Valentine's Day 4 years ago with my boyfriend above a Vagina Monologue performance (he volunteered to run the lighting)
//we're still together
///still not really the biggest VM fan, but some friends of his were really passionate about putting on the production so he volunteered, only guy in the cast or crew... that was pretty damn attractive in and of itself


Any woman that would expect me to attend a "Vagina Monologues" is not a woman I would consider dating.
 
2013-02-11 11:52:18 AM

StaleCoffee: a bit more creative than cheap jewelry or a singing hallmark card


I said that!  No, I'm thinking about buying a gift that you can afford and that you put thought into.  You're just projecting you high self-esteem on a suggestion that goes against your typically bigoted perspective.
 
2013-02-11 11:54:37 AM
A bowling ball with your name ot it...so that she always remembers who got it for her.
 
2013-02-11 11:56:34 AM
Take her out to McDonald's and use one of those "buy one, get one free" coupons.
 
2013-02-11 11:56:41 AM

Lando Lincoln: Malcolm_Sex: There is no excuse for a grown man to not have the 20$ it costs for flowers.

What's the excuse to use '20$' instead of '$20?'


LOL. I like how anal we all are. That one irritated me too.
 
2013-02-11 11:57:12 AM

Naesen: Get her favorite chocolate flavor, and some berries and bananas and pineapples. Seen an edible arrangement? That's what you're doing, and you're going to spend no more than ten bucks doing it. Get some lettuce, a cheap vase, a box of strawberries, chocolate (I found that Hershey's dark, milk chocolate, and cookies and cream work real well), two pots that nest inside each other, a stove, water, and kebab sticks. Clear some space in your freezer.

Clean fruits, put water in lower pot, medium heat. Place upper pot in lower pot so that water is at least touching the bottom of the upper pot. Grab a fork and stick the berries, and kebab berry on the end. Melt chocolate in upper pot, dip and roll berries USING FORK, and then set berries in freezer using kebab as a brace against other things (you don't want the berries to touch your freezer or you'll get a funny flat side that looks bad). Once you've done enough berries and chocolate to your liking, repeat with other fruits. NOTE: IF THE CHOCOLATE STARTS TO "CAKE": you need to turn down the heat a tad and clean out the chocolate pan and just use new chocolate. At that phase it has begun to dehydrate and really is too much of a pain in the ass to save.

Next, as berries are cooling (don't let them freeze...) put filler, beit small beads or gravel or whatever the hell you want about halfway up your vase. Take lettuce and neatly form it in the upper third. You need a little space to allow for lettuce compression from placing in sticks. Once berries are cooled, arrange in whatever you think looks pretty (if you're not going to be fancy, arrange strawberries to look like a bouquet of roses, and insert different colored fruits in between bunches of 3-5 strawberries). Flare the lettuce around the edges of the vase to make it prettier, and take a small ribbon (optional) and tie to vase. Insert sappy card or note, and BAM! You've now got a decent Edible Arrangement knockoff for about $10. (~$13 if you get pineapples or marshmallows) ...


I forgot to add that this is one of those things you really want to manufacture no more than a day in advance and you want to keep in your fridge so as it remains fresh.
 
2013-02-11 11:57:20 AM
An "almost free" thing I've done is buy tons of balloons (inflated), and hide them in places she doesn't go (basement closet, etc).

Wake up early and fill the room with them, and go back to bed.
 
2013-02-11 11:57:30 AM
bouquet of sausage
 
2013-02-11 12:01:59 PM
free? Is it free to just go through the motions once again.
 
2013-02-11 12:04:40 PM
Blow Job


/why does valentines day just have to be about the girl?
 
2013-02-11 12:07:11 PM
Sure, I would encourage my husband to give me a homemade gift if he didn't like bj's. But he likes them and I like jewelry.
 
2013-02-11 12:07:24 PM
What do you mean, free as in beer or free as in speech?
 
2013-02-11 12:07:36 PM

Uniquely Common: Blow Job


/why does valentines day just have to be about the girl?


Accept this as just the way it is or enjoy life alone.

/I chose "B"
 
2013-02-11 12:09:04 PM
Good jewelry that's her style (not just what you think is her style).
Nice handbag (if she's a handbag gal, such as myself...or whatever other accessories she likes).
Homemade dinner that isn't from a box and took effort and more than a couple of ingredients (so...no mac 'n cheese and no frozen entrees.  Doesn't need to be expensive, though.)
Good chocolate (not those Russell Stovers hearts that come with a map.  Go for quality over quantity.)
Lingerie that's not slutty, but is pretty and sexy and she can wear under her work clothes.

If you're over the age of 25 and are to the point in your relationship where you scratch your balls and fart in front of her, half assing Valentines day with a handmade card and some flowers that will die within a day or two isn't going to cut it.  Sorry.
 
2013-02-11 12:09:42 PM
My ex wanted a new washer and dryer, once, so I got her a douchebag and a towel.
 
2013-02-11 12:10:05 PM

mrswood: Sure, I would encourage my husband to give me a homemade gift if he didn't like bj's. But he likes them and I like jewelry.


Whore for a day. I like the sound of that. Think I should ask the missus?
 
2013-02-11 12:10:53 PM

Arthurgoboom: Hand-drawn valentine card and oral until she passes out.


I think her jaw would start to cramp up before she actually passed out.
 
2013-02-11 12:11:09 PM
Empty the used condoms out of her purse for her.
 
2013-02-11 12:11:16 PM
Get a job you worthless bum
 
2013-02-11 12:11:50 PM
Roses are red
Violets are blue.
I've got Hep C
And now so do you.
 
2013-02-11 12:12:08 PM

Nurglitch: LadySusan: God Is My Co-Pirate: Sure it's the thought that counts. And the thought in this case was to ask Fark in the hopes that you'd get an answer other than "buttsex?"

I'm sure that all answers will be thoughtful and so romantic we'll all die from the cuteness.

You're doing it wrong. First, find out what she wants. Then give it to her, you broke-ass cheapskate.


But that's just moar buttsex right?
 
2013-02-11 12:12:09 PM
Another thing I've done is put a chocolate rose in her car, on the dashboard.  So it's a surprise.
 
2013-02-11 12:16:55 PM
Make up a "Happy Valentine's Day, Mommy" card with stickers and crayons and stuff.  Sneak into her kitchen and set up the card along with a little tiny coffin with chocolates inside.  When she comes down, tell her that you love her very much and don't even expect love back from someone like her.  Then the two of you get all dressed up and go bomb a clinic.
 
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