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(Slate)   Dear fast food companies, this word you use, we do not think it means what you think it means   (slate.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, shot across the bow, Chipotle, fast food, Domino's Pizza, burritos, Taco Bell  
•       •       •

9683 clicks; posted to Business » on 11 Feb 2013 at 12:27 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-02-11 10:17:58 AM  
That damn Subway commercial is like a rickroll.
 
2013-02-11 11:25:42 AM  
I realize I haven't watched broadcast TV in 3 years, but does Taco Bell really think they can match Chipotle on any level? Not saying Chipotle is the be all and end all, but every one of their restaurants I have visited has consistently fresh, crisp lettuce - none of that wilty iceberg shiat either.

The last time I visited Taco Bell (probably 5+ years ago), I experienced such a deluge of orange grease, it took 3 days for my asshole to recover.
 
2013-02-11 11:33:56 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

So I was eating Korean BBQ a few months ago and I noticed that many Korean products are described as "fresh."  It was on the soju, the beer, and the wine.  I'm wondering what cultural thing makes Korean beer be described as fresh whereas in the US we describe our mediocre macrobrew as The Coldest Beer Around.
 
2013-02-11 11:42:58 AM  
You talking about 'fresh' or 'food'? Neither apply to a lot of it
 
2013-02-11 11:50:27 AM  
userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2013-02-11 12:40:14 PM  
Any lettuce you buy from virtually any source is probably at least a few weeks old.  Lettuce keeps quite well, there's no point in giving you the good stuff if they can give you ones that are two away from going bad.
 
2013-02-11 12:47:45 PM  
 
2013-02-11 12:48:17 PM  
If you go to Taco Bell (or any fast food place) looking for "fresh" food you deserve to be a fatass.
 
2013-02-11 12:51:54 PM  
FTA: "Doritos Locos Taco, a $1.29 fistful of garbage dusted in neon-orange sodium that tasted vaguely like cheese and synergy "

"Fistful Of Garbage" is my new band name.
 
2013-02-11 01:08:56 PM  
It's the most cynical advertising I've seen in fast food yet. All this emphasis on fresh - and yeah I think a lot of it was brought on from "Fast Food Nation" and "Supersize Me" - and it's stuff that is total horsesh*t.

Let me know when McDonald's shows migrant workers harvesting tomatoes, lettuce heads and potatoes for $2/hr., and the greasy, bloody slaughterhouse floors from which they get their burgers, and frames it all with, "Ba-da-ba-ba! I'm lovin' it!"
 
2013-02-11 01:14:33 PM  
"If our peanuts were any fresher, they'd be insulting."

 old advertising line
 
2013-02-11 01:18:25 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: FTA: "Doritos Locos Taco, a $1.29 fistful of garbage dusted in neon-orange sodium that tasted vaguely like cheese and synergy "

"Fistful Of Garbage" is my new band name.


I hear you. But my big question is...

What does synergy taste like?
A. Failure and tears
B. Fear
C. Bees
D. Mediocrity
 
2013-02-11 01:19:11 PM  
Weird - I don't believe I've seen these Taco Bell ads despite watching a fair amount of TV.

Is it because of what I watch or is it that there is only 1 Taco Hell in my town.....there are 3 within 10 miles.

I don't know. I don't think I've been to a Taco Bell since the '90s.
 
2013-02-11 01:23:24 PM  
Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-11 01:33:24 PM  

PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]


My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.
 
2013-02-11 01:34:37 PM  

Rapmaster2000: [encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 168x299]

So I was eating Korean BBQ a few months ago and I noticed that many Korean products are described as "fresh."  It was on the soju, the beer, and the wine.  I'm wondering what cultural thing makes Korean beer be described as fresh whereas in the US we describe our mediocre macrobrew as The Coldest Beer Around.


i-cdn.apartmenttherapy.com
Ah yes, but no more 1966. Let's splurge! Bring us some fresh wine! The freshest you've got. No more of this old stuff!
 
2013-02-11 01:34:39 PM  

PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]


I do miss the old Spanish mission looking stores with the actual bell. The last one in my neighborhood now houses a Starbucks. While the curved parapet and arched windows are gone, the building foot print is still the same. The slanted roof on the front and the small patio are still there. Every time I go by, I feel nostalgic for the by-gone days of youth spent stuffing my face with Taco Bell.
 
2013-02-11 01:49:11 PM  
Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.
 
2013-02-11 01:59:51 PM  

Treygreen13: My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.


There was one of those style of Taco Bells within walking distance that had been converted into a Venezuelan restaurant in the '90s. It was family run and had excellent food. They were trying to jump through all the right hoops to get a liquor license but unfortunately closed.

They had some of the best carne asada I've ever eaten.
 
2013-02-11 02:10:30 PM  

Treygreen13: PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]

My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.


Challenge accepted
/architect
 
2013-02-11 02:14:30 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.


Wait a second. Are you telling me that I'm capable of assembling meat, cheese, and tortilla into a taco? At home?!
 
2013-02-11 02:15:25 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.


So you go home on your lunch break and make homemade tacos?

Fast food isn't popular because the items they sell are difficult to prepare. It's fast, hence the name, convenient and usually cheap. Tacos have been fast food long before the American fast food craze started.

2 $.99 tacos and a $.99 bean burrito from the Taco Bell drive through is a perfect meal when I need to run errands on my lunch break.
 
2013-02-11 02:21:44 PM  

max_pooper: Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.

2 $.99 tacos and a $.99 bean burrito from the Taco Bell drive through is a perfect meal when I need to run errands on my lunch break.


You sound diarhetic
 
2013-02-11 02:23:01 PM  

Treygreen13: PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]

My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.


One in my area got turned into a carpet store.
 
2013-02-11 02:24:47 PM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Treygreen13: PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]

My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.

One in my area got turned into a carpet store.


Is it called something like "Carpet Casa"?
 
2013-02-11 02:24:58 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.


Hamburgers are also quick, cheap, and easy to make.  So is fried chicken.

/Hey, wait a minute I see a pattern here.
 
2013-02-11 02:25:32 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?


What does that have to do with anything? The most common fast food item is probably the burger, and that's even easier to make than a taco.
 
2013-02-11 02:33:59 PM  

Treygreen13: Pants full of macaroni!!: Treygreen13: PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]

My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.

One in my area got turned into a carpet store.

Is it called something like "Carpet Casa"?


Can't remember.  I think it has a "normal" name.
 
2013-02-11 02:42:18 PM  

nelsonal: So is fried chicken.


Fried chicken is NOT easy to make. It's very messy and requires a significant amount of cleanup afterwards.
 
2013-02-11 02:51:07 PM  

Elzar: ***snip*** does Taco Bell really think they can match Chipotle on any level? Not saying Chipotle is the be all and end all, but every one of their restaurants I have visited has consistently fresh, crisp lettuce - none of that wilty iceberg shiat either.***snip***

 

That's the point that Chipotle's CMO and the author were making on the first page, Taco Bell doesn't have to compete with Chipotle on "Fresh", they just need to have an appearance of alternatives to their greasy, delicious taco crap.  That appearance keeps the self delusional fatties coming back and may get a few people to take a shot at the described burrito bowl.  They are just trying to grab another slice of share.

//Fattie, not self delusional, loves Taco Bell and Qdoba, f*ck Chipotle.
 
2013-02-11 03:22:49 PM  

jaylectricity: nelsonal: So is fried chicken.

Fried chicken is NOT easy to make. It's very messy and requires a significant amount of cleanup afterwards.


Simple, but not easy. Chicken, buttermilk, batter or breading, oil. But to clear out the bottom of the fridge to marinate a whole chicken or two overnight, a big bowl or two for the crust (i like a "dry batter", flour and seasoning with some baking powder), a bigass skillet with an inch or two of grease in it... Not something i wanna do every sunday.

I hate having to deep fry anything at home, its just a farking mess. Hell, if im making chinese food at home, ill do the rice and veggies and sauce myself, but pick up popcorn chicken or chicken mcbites or something to toss with the sauce.
 
2013-02-11 03:38:25 PM  
I see what you all mean mean, I meant easy as in you need a skillet and a bowl or two to hold the batter/breading and it only low level cooking knowledge and a few steps vs say something like this: http://foodrulesguy.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/confit-byaldi-ratatouill e -reimagined/
that has 3 separate cooking methods, a dozen ingredients, and a fairly labor intensive arrangement of the sliced veggies, or say a souffle.  There's little chance anyone is going to attempt to open a fast food place with a goal of serving confit byaldi or souffles through the drive through in 50-90 seconds.
 
2013-02-11 03:49:57 PM  

mephox: Pants full of macaroni!!: FTA: "Doritos Locos Taco, a $1.29 fistful of garbage dusted in neon-orange sodium that tasted vaguely like cheese and synergy "

"Fistful Of Garbage" is my new band name.

I hear you. But my big question is...

What does synergy taste like?
A. Failure and tears
B. Fear
C. Bees
D. Mediocrity


i'd speculate that it's the combined flavors of management jizz and cocaine, but I'm not really in the mood to discover what that flavor combination is like
 
2013-02-11 03:50:39 PM  

Elzar: max_pooper: Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.

2 $.99 tacos and a $.99 bean burrito from the Taco Bell drive through is a perfect meal when I need to run errands on my lunch break.

You sound diarhetic


We're not all pussies.
 
2013-02-11 03:51:37 PM  

Treygreen13: Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.

Wait a second. Are you telling me that I'm capable of assembling meat, cheese, and tortilla into a taco? At home?!


the taco farker can be yours for 6 easy payments of 19.99
 
2013-02-11 03:59:44 PM  

Cyno01: I hate having to deep fry anything at home, its just a farking mess


Yes, this.  I love my wife's fried chicken recipie, but the cleanup makes it a no-go.  Unless you have some self-contained deep frier (we don't)... the grease goes *everywhere*.
 
2013-02-11 04:00:13 PM  
i71.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 04:30:47 PM  
haha, i dont eat at any of these restaurants.  but i did just have a burrito bowl from Chipotle last night.  i have maybe 2 a month.

the problem with Subway isnt the pre-sliced and shipped meat.  it's the awful "Sandwich Artists" they employ.  i havent been back in 5+ years since I got maybe my 10th in a row awfully constructed sandwich from them.  Yes, it's location specific, but out of the 4 I used to frequent they were all terrible.  No one had any interest in making a sandwich palatable.  I honestly only ate there cuz they had diet Mt. Dew on tap and their cookies were decent.

Arby's had a decent Market Fresh sandwich but it was way over-priced.  At a dollar cheaper I would still give it a 2nd thought.  And the rest of the menu is just awful.  their grade F meat in the Roast beef sandwiches couldnt even be improved by the Horsey or Arby sauce.  Jamocha shakes werent good and the goo filled rectangles they tried to call pastries were awful.  I do like curly fries but i dont want them very often, maybe 2-3 times a year.  And honestly, Arby's has had the WORST ad campaigns.  Good Mood Food? A stupid puppet hand?  The Adult Menu?  This Bo Deitl guy is insultingly silly in the ads.  I'm just glad they havent hopped on the Absurdist bandwagon that Old Spice started.  The deluge of incoherent silly commercials is at an overload now.

Taco Bell is maybe the worst fast food place on the planet.  I eat heavily spiced cajun, asian, and mexican food all the time with no intestinal distress.  I do like VERY spicy stuff.  I eat Taco Bell maybe once a year to remind myself what diarrhea feels like.  I used to love the Mexican Pizzas in the 90s but then they turned to shiat and got too expensive.  Now they're just making up words and calling it Mexican.

Dominos has prolly improved some things.  I ate their subs 10 years ago and they were fine.  A lot of times it is 6 people ordering delivery who cant agree on toppings or specials and getting a sub meant i knew how much my portion would cost on the delivery.  Not every chain had subs so Dominos beef sub was a good compromise.  I preferred their hand-tossed to the deep dish.  It was decent dough when it wasnt delivered late.  But since then, I've become a bit of a pizza snob and only like certain slices and styles from my local pizzerias.  The chain stuff is all the same to me anymore.  I just cant go back to it after discovering my local spots.
 
2013-02-11 04:32:04 PM  

max_pooper: 2 $.99 tacos and a $.99 bean burrito from the Taco Bell drive through is a perfect meal when I need to run errands on my lunch break.


Is that how you got your screen name?
 
2013-02-11 04:46:28 PM  

The Flexecutioner: it's the awful "Sandwich Artists" they employ.


That's really a problem with them. I used to work for them when I was in high school and the artist thing was taken pretty seriously.

There was an order to everything, there was a perfect amount of each vegetable that went on the sandwich, you cut the bread a certain way.

Onions, then lettuce, then tomato. 6 pickles, 6 black olives, etc.

Nowadays they just throw everything on there, they usually want to put that lettuce on first, in fact they get annoyed if you don't say lettuce first.
 
2013-02-11 05:07:21 PM  
The Taco Bell Fruitista Freezes go very nicely with rum.
 
2013-02-11 05:30:03 PM  
Is there anyone who really cares whether their cold cuts were sliced on site? That seems like the lamest kind of fresh.

All I care about is that there are real vegetables and they taste good. Nothing more disappointing than stopping at a rural subway on a roadtrip and discovering that it only has half the veggie selection.
 
2013-02-11 05:39:42 PM  

jaylectricity: The Flexecutioner: it's the awful "Sandwich Artists" they employ.

That's really a problem with them. I used to work for them when I was in high school and the artist thing was taken pretty seriously.

There was an order to everything, there was a perfect amount of each vegetable that went on the sandwich, you cut the bread a certain way.

Onions, then lettuce, then tomato. 6 pickles, 6 black olives, etc.

Nowadays they just throw everything on there, they usually want to put that lettuce on first, in fact they get annoyed if you don't say lettuce first.


It's definitely not standardized any more. Some places make sandwiches like they always have, and others give you one slice of bell pepper and two leaves of spinach unless you ask for more. The latter are always in the places where the guy in front of you is getting oil and double mayo on his sandwich.
 
2013-02-11 05:56:01 PM  

Treygreen13: PacManDreaming: Man, that Taco Bell commercial from 1979 brings back memories. I can remember seeing it as a kid. It also reminds me that Taco Bell used black olives, at one time. Anyone else miss the Bell Beefer? I did like the Gringo Burger at Taco Plaza, better, though.

I miss seeing this:

[i47.tinypic.com image 400x310]

My hometown had one of those old Taco Bells up until 2005 or so. Unfortunately you can't really put anything but Mexican good places in them, or else it would look strange. Unless you wanted to make one into a mission.


See, you say that, but...

There's one here that was bought and converted into a porn store and another that's currently a Chinese food restaurant.
 
2013-02-11 05:58:27 PM  
downstairs * * Smartest * * Funniest * [ ] Smartest [ ] Funniest 2013-02-11 03:59:44 PM Cyno01: I hate having to deep fry anything at home, its just a farking mess Yes, this. I love my wife's fried chicken recipie, but the cleanup makes it a no-go. Unless you have some self-contained deep frier (we don't)... the grease goes *everywhere*.
===========================================================

Put some aluminum foil underneath... after about 10 uses, it'll be gross and disgusting... so simply throw that away and replace.

There's virtually no cleanup required, other than the deep frier itself... and even then, you only need to clean it if you're pedantic or if you go about 100 uses and it's REALLY gross.

If you're messier than that, you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-02-11 06:44:40 PM  
I don't know how beans arrive at Chipotle, but if they're like every other type of bean I've known about they come in one of two ways: Wet in a can or dry in a sack (which sounds kind of dirty if you say it right).  Either way, they can't be "Fresh."  Maybe they ship in recently harvested beans?  I dunno.
 
2013-02-11 08:00:43 PM  

Skirl Hutsenreiter: It's definitely not standardized any more. Some places make sandwiches like they always have, and others give you one slice of bell pepper and two leaves of spinach unless you ask for more. The latter are always in the places where the guy in front of you is getting oil and double mayo on his sandwich.


Sort of opposite around here. Sub shops are a big deal, so they just pile on the toppings. I usually have to say "a little bit of black olive" or they'll give me enough to fill one of those little cans you usually buy full of black olives. The amount of spinach could be a salad by itself.
 
2013-02-11 08:00:46 PM  

Honest Bender: Do you guys even realize how easy it is to make tacos or other mexican food at home?  Brown some hamburger in a pan with taco seasoning, dice up some veggies, shred some cheese... you're 95% of the way done.  All the ingredients store well in a fridge...  Tacos are one of the best and easiest foods you can make.


roaminghunger.com

No, you're right. Tacos are cheap and easy to make.
They're actually even easier and cheaper to make authentically. Grab some leftover carne asada and stick it on a corn tortilla. Sprinkle on some onion and cilantro, and pop open a beer. Repeat until full.
 
2013-02-11 08:16:37 PM  
And here I thought the word was going to be, "horsemeat".
 
2013-02-11 08:38:36 PM  

jaylectricity: The Flexecutioner: it's the awful "Sandwich Artists" they employ.

That's really a problem with them. I used to work for them when I was in high school and the artist thing was taken pretty seriously.

There was an order to everything, there was a perfect amount of each vegetable that went on the sandwich, you cut the bread a certain way.

Onions, then lettuce, then tomato. 6 pickles, 6 black olives, etc.

Nowadays they just throw everything on there, they usually want to put that lettuce on first, in fact they get annoyed if you don't say lettuce first.


Do they not go to Subway University anymore?
images.starpulse.com
 
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