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(NBC News) NewsFlash House of Cardinals   (worldnews.nbcnews.com) divider line 715
    More: NewsFlash, Vatican, pope, Pope Benedict  
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18956 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 6:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Archived thread
 
2013-02-11 06:24:15 AM
Quitter.
 
2013-02-11 06:24:57 AM
He's only following the example of his illustrious predecessor, Benedict IX.
 
2013-02-11 06:25:04 AM
I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.
 
2013-02-11 06:25:23 AM
Wait...can he do that?
 
2013-02-11 06:25:23 AM
Pope poops out. Catholics craving closure. Altar boys aspire to avoid assrape.
 
2013-02-11 06:26:09 AM

Olympic Trolling Judge: Quitter.


I find your lack of faith... disturbing.
 
2013-02-11 06:26:10 AM
As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.
 
2013-02-11 06:27:13 AM
Doesn't have the strength to molest like he used to
 
2013-02-11 06:27:57 AM

maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.


Unlikely. If the church considered child rape to be a problem, plenty of others would have gone before now. More likely he got caught doing something immoral and reprehensible, like genuflecting on the wrong knee.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:02 AM
First in600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts. Dnrta.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:04 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


Probably child rape enabling.

/lame-ass headline, Farkmin
 
2013-02-11 06:28:06 AM
Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:16 AM
Well that doesn't happen very often.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:18 AM
I didn't know they could do that.  I'm imagining that fast food scene - "fark you, fark you, you're cool, etc."  Is there an old Pope's retirement home?
 
2013-02-11 06:28:30 AM
He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:33 AM

punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?


Yup. Lot's of precedent, though all of it centuries old.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:33 AM
First time in 600 years....

So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.

Personally I think he's doing a tricky Dick and resigning as part of a deal to avoid the details coming out.
 
2013-02-11 06:28:46 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?


What could be worse than we already know?
 
2013-02-11 06:29:01 AM
Smoking
 
2013-02-11 06:29:07 AM
So, if his health fails and Catholicism is the One True Religion, that's going to be one awkward conversation in the afterlife.

//Also, what's with all the fire?
 
2013-02-11 06:29:08 AM

gadian: Is there an old Pope's retirement home?


What kind of papal pension does he get?
 
2013-02-11 06:29:21 AM
msnbcmedia.msn.com

James Franco was really into his role as Pope Benedict XVI.
 
2013-02-11 06:29:24 AM
This is bad news....... for..well....nobody .
 
2013-02-11 06:29:29 AM
Didn't someone point out a while back that they picked an old guy for pope in the first place so they had time to pick a better candidate for pope that would be around a while?
 
2013-02-11 06:29:36 AM
He ran the inquisition that tracked every single molestation case in the church worldwide. He would have never survived any scrutiny when the documents are finally revealed.
 
2013-02-11 06:29:53 AM
I did Nazi this coming.Also, good riddance.
 
2013-02-11 06:30:05 AM
@pontifexed "Yes, it's true, I'm resigning as Pope - I just miss the 'hands on' side of being a normal Catholic priest..."
 
2013-02-11 06:30:34 AM

Mr.Tangent: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?

What could be worse than we already know?


Seeing as they didn't kick him out for what we already knew... it's going to be pretty bad.
 
2013-02-11 06:30:37 AM

beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.


Yea, cause when they select an old conservative who wants to run the church like it was the middle ages it will be a big surprise.
 
2013-02-11 06:30:39 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?


The awesome part is, even if there is no scandal the conspiracy types will invent one.
 
2013-02-11 06:30:47 AM
There is no way his next holiness could be more photoshop ready.

This is a sad day for all of us.
 
2013-02-11 06:31:19 AM
So is it going to be awkward between him and God now? Is God accidentally going to talk to him when He means to talk to the new Pope?
 
2013-02-11 06:31:22 AM
Petrus Romanus up next
Could everyone stop having a doomsday, please.
 
2013-02-11 06:31:33 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


This. I remember during the final years of the papacy of John Paul II, there were many calls for him to stand down due to ill health. At that time everybody in the Church dismissed the very idea, saying that Popes don't resign; only God decides when they are done.

So yeah, I rate this explanation one rung above "spending more time with his family".
 
2013-02-11 06:31:45 AM

punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?


He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.
 
2013-02-11 06:31:49 AM
This position is supposed to be a direct link to god.  It doesn't seem like it's a job you can just quit.

 Oh well,I'm sure they won't have any trouble finding another pedophile enabler to replace him.
 
2013-02-11 06:32:07 AM
Did Benedict crack under the pressure, or does he have yolk on his face? Either way, he seems to be over easy.
 
2013-02-11 06:32:11 AM
There can be only one.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 06:32:16 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


I wonder if the butler stuff has anything to do with it
 
2013-02-11 06:32:17 AM

BigBooper: First time in 600 years....

So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.

Personally I think he's doing a tricky Dick and resigning as part of a deal to avoid the details coming out.


In Vatican city I'd expect something more like using gay prostitutes or a Swiss Guard sex scandal. But, it may be child abuse related. I can't imagine he'd resign if some bad news weren't coming his way.
 
2013-02-11 06:32:51 AM

log_jammin: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?

The awesome part is, even if there is no scandal the conspiracy types will invent one.


Invent one?!?! How about just picking one of the many that are already out?
 
2013-02-11 06:33:08 AM

BigBooper: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Yea, cause when they select an old conservative who wants to run the church like it was the middle ages it will be a big surprise.


Let's be fair. At his worst, Benedict XVI is nowhere as bad as his medieval predecessors were. Not even in the same order of magnitude.
 
2013-02-11 06:33:13 AM
I wonder if that means he can vote in conclave for the next pope, or be totally removed from the process.

I still consider myself Catholic, although I rarely go to mass these days. I don't think he's left much of a legacy. The next Pope is going to have to resolve the pedophilia scandals and hopefully reform the priesthood. I think it shows a lot of humility that Benedict accepts he's not up to the task anymore and is willing to step aside.
 
2013-02-11 06:33:13 AM
Holy shait.
 
2013-02-11 06:33:17 AM

Copper Spork: maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.

Unlikely. If the church considered child rape to be a problem, plenty of others would have gone before now. More likely he got caught doing something immoral and reprehensible, like genuflecting on the wrong knee.



....lemon party?
 
2013-02-11 06:33:32 AM
He should be sharing a jail cell with Jerry Sandusky
 
2013-02-11 06:33:37 AM

greentea1985: He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.


Senility didn't stop JP2. Besides, hearing voices is a requirement for becoming Pope.
 
2013-02-11 06:34:07 AM
Will he be returning to Naboo?
 
2013-02-11 06:34:37 AM
www.majhost.com

Hey!

I'm-a da Pope-a!
 
2013-02-11 06:34:55 AM
"If you strike me down, I will return stronger than you will ever imagine"
 
2013-02-11 06:34:59 AM

BigBooper: Invent one?!?! How about just picking one of the many that are already out?


it's what they do best.


.....or are you in on it too???
 
2013-02-11 06:35:26 AM
I bet it's nothing to do with any sex scandals though.  With an organization as large as the Catholic church with centuries of abusing kids behind them, I really don't think it's a "Fire the Pope" sort of problem.  Corporate hostile takeover, I could see that, though.
 
2013-02-11 06:35:33 AM

BigBooper: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Yea, cause when they select an old conservative who wants to run the church like it was the middle ages it will be a big surprise.




I am guessing a Latin American, maybe youngish and from a region that hasn't been hit by abuse scandals (if there are any).

/Or put in Roger Mahoney just for the lulz
 
2013-02-11 06:35:42 AM

RexTalionis: He's only following the example of his illustrious predecessor, Benedict IX.


So he's going to sell the Papacy and return to hold it three times?
 
2013-02-11 06:35:52 AM
Another thing I've just considered- my understanding is one main reason you don't choose the next one until after he dies is so he can't influence the election of his successor.  Which even if he can't vote Benedict obviously will be able to do.

Really sucks for those who are involved in the Church and were hoping to take it in a new direction.
 
2013-02-11 06:35:53 AM

Copper Spork: greentea1985: He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.

Senility didn't stop JP2. Besides, hearing voices is a requirement for becoming Pope.


That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.
 
2013-02-11 06:36:09 AM
content6.flixster.com
It's about medamn time!
 
2013-02-11 06:36:21 AM
i212.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 06:36:38 AM
I thought that in "Return Of The Jedi" that Darth Vader threw Emperor Palpatine down a reactor shaft. At least that is how I thought the move ended.
 
2013-02-11 06:36:48 AM
What are the odds on a "heart attack" three days into his retirement?
 
2013-02-11 06:37:27 AM
I heard he was disfigured in a battle with some guy named Mace Windu...
 
2013-02-11 06:37:39 AM
throws hat into the ring...

www.fathersarducci.com
 
2013-02-11 06:37:54 AM
He must be pooped.
 
2013-02-11 06:38:29 AM
Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.
 
2013-02-11 06:38:40 AM
Out with the old, into the young
 
2013-02-11 06:38:41 AM

Andromeda: Another thing I've just considered- my understanding is one main reason you don't choose the next one until after he dies is so he can't influence the election of his successor.  Which even if he can't vote Benedict obviously will be able to do.

Really sucks for those who are involved in the Church and were hoping to take it in a new direction.


The other reason of course is that God can only listen to one guy at a time. He's not Superman or something.
 
2013-02-11 06:39:33 AM

greentea1985: Copper Spork: greentea1985: He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.

Senility didn't stop JP2. Besides, hearing voices is a requirement for becoming Pope.

That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.


This, add one more to the list of things happening that I thought wouldn't in my lifetime.

/Plus set your doomsday clocks back folks isn't there (according to History Chanel) only one more Pope left?
 
2013-02-11 06:40:22 AM

Death Eats a Cracker: This position is supposed to be a direct link to god.  It doesn't seem like it's a job you can just quit.

 Oh well,I'm sure they won't have any trouble finding another pedophile enabler to replace him.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-11 06:40:26 AM
smoke em if ya got em...........

www.papalrestoration.com
 
2013-02-11 06:40:41 AM

great_tigers: First in 600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts. Dnrta.


In the Vatican to take responsibility for his actions?
 
2013-02-11 06:40:41 AM
www.moviegoods.com
 
2013-02-11 06:40:42 AM
Maybe after JP2, the Church is like, "Okay, we aren't going through that again. If you start feeling bad just resign."
 
2013-02-11 06:41:46 AM

thisispete: I wonder if that means he can vote in conclave for the next pope, or be totally removed from the process.

I still consider myself Catholic, although I rarely go to mass these days. I don't think he's left much of a legacy. The next Pope is going to have to resolve the pedophilia scandals and hopefully reform the priesthood. I think it shows a lot of humility that Benedict accepts he's not up to the task anymore and is willing to step aside.


Cardinals lose the right to vote for pope at age 80, so no he doesn't have a vote.

BigBooper: First time in 600 years....

So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.

Personally I think he's doing a tricky Dick and resigning as part of a deal to avoid the details coming out.


Yeah, sadly, my take is this this and lots o' that.

Habemus Papam
 
2013-02-11 06:42:04 AM
His resignation letter says he's been "shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith"

Yeah, that whole "funny hat / shiat in the woods" thing got him at last
 
2013-02-11 06:42:14 AM

amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.


I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.
 
2013-02-11 06:42:24 AM

Lord of Allusions: Maybe after JP2, the Church is like, "Okay, we aren't going through that again. If you start feeling bad just resign."


Jurassic Park 2 wasn't that bad!
 
2013-02-11 06:43:00 AM

greentea1985: Copper Spork: greentea1985: He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.

Senility didn't stop JP2. Besides, hearing voices is a requirement for becoming Pope.

That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.


Today's Popes are soft, like the kids they prefer.
 
2013-02-11 06:43:29 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: /Plus set your doomsday clocks back folks isn't there (according to History Chanel) only one more Pope left?


Seems legit. That whack-a-loon Jack Van Impe, who comes on tv at like 3am, said that we're two popes away from Armageddon.

/oh noes!
 
2013-02-11 06:43:33 AM

greentea1985: That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.


The only thing that would make sense to me is if he's been diagnosed with Alzheimers. If he knows that he's going to lose his mind, and could take a long time to die, then I could see him resigning.

I still think that the odds are better that he's resigning because of a scandal.
 
2013-02-11 06:43:34 AM

BigBooper: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Yea, cause when they select an old conservative who wants to run the church like it was the middle ages it will be a big surprise.


The church is in crisis. Crisis may translate to opportunity. We can only hope that the next one will want to clean house. I am not holding my breath.

/not Catholic
 
2013-02-11 06:43:55 AM
Whoever they choose as the new Pope, she'd better be black.
 
2013-02-11 06:43:58 AM

RminusQ: Cardinals lose the right to vote for pope at age 80, so no he doesn't have a vote.


Hmmm... maybe the secular world could learn something from Catholicism.
 
2013-02-11 06:44:08 AM
I would never have expected this. I don't think it has much to do with the abuse scandals considering how much they dug in their heels already. Besides, that's been ongoing for years. Maybe something with the butler thing as others mentioned upthread.
 
2013-02-11 06:44:49 AM

Slaxl: Lord of Allusions: Maybe after JP2, the Church is like, "Okay, we aren't going through that again. If you start feeling bad just resign."

Jurassic Park 2 wasn't that bad!


Raptor Gymkata.  Yes, it was that bad.
 
2013-02-11 06:45:10 AM

log_jammin: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?

The awesome part is, even if there is no scandal the conspiracy types will invent one.


Why make one up when there are already so many real ones?
 
2013-02-11 06:45:18 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 06:45:24 AM
Maybe he just wants some pussy?
 
2013-02-11 06:45:28 AM

Scaryduck: Whoever they choose as the new Pope, she'd better be black gay.

 
2013-02-11 06:45:32 AM
You may very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

/Too bad father Ted is out of the running
//It's time for an Irish pope
///I could really care less
\Jew
 
2013-02-11 06:45:58 AM

UDel_Kitty: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.


Check the back of your next airline seat, and between the washer and dryer.
 
2013-02-11 06:46:15 AM
evilstaring.com

Fark you, fark you, fark you, you're cool, fark you I'M OUT
 
2013-02-11 06:46:30 AM

Olympic Trolling Judge: Slaxl: Lord of Allusions: Maybe after JP2, the Church is like, "Okay, we aren't going through that again. If you start feeling bad just resign."

Jurassic Park 2 wasn't that bad!

Raptor Gymkata.  Yes, it was that bad.


You can't fault a film for one thing. You're missing the main point. Raptors. Yeh there was a stupid girl dancing about but there were Raptors. There was even a T-Rex or two. That's what counts. That's how you make a film good. Stick dinosaurs in it. They're all that matter.
 
2013-02-11 06:46:39 AM
So now he's an anti-Pope.  And if he ever comes in contact with the new Pope, space-time will be ripped apart.
 
2013-02-11 06:47:08 AM
Pay very close attention to what happens in the world in the shadow of this news. Watch the news that gets buried on the back pages while everyone is focusing on this. This could in fact be a massive purposeful distraction.

/conspiracy
 
2013-02-11 06:47:36 AM

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Didn't someone point out a while back that they picked an old guy for pope in the first place so they had time to pick a better candidate for pope that would be around a while?


This has been my theory for a while. He is a temp-pope.
 
2013-02-11 06:48:35 AM

beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.


Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed
 
2013-02-11 06:49:50 AM
HA! There won't be a feb 28th for 3 more years!
 
2013-02-11 06:50:32 AM
I've been waiting for this opportunity.
 
2013-02-11 06:50:48 AM
Will he still have access to the company car on weekends?
If yes, will he have to pay his own gas/tolls?

i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-02-11 06:50:54 AM

miss diminutive: tinfoil-hat maggie: /Plus set your doomsday clocks back folks isn't there (according to History Chanel) only one more Pope left?

Seems legit. That whack-a-loon Jack Van Impe, who comes on tv at like 3am, said that we're two popes away from Armageddon.

/oh noes!


LoL, I know right ; )
It's the end of the world as we know it just gotta get warmed up : P
 
2013-02-11 06:51:15 AM

UDel_Kitty: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.


What, you don't like the not-at-all-made-up word consubstantial?
 
2013-02-11 06:51:20 AM

Texas Gabe: Pay very close attention to what happens in the world in the shadow of this news. Watch the news that gets buried on the back pages while everyone is focusing on this. This could in fact be a massive purposeful distraction.

/conspiracy


Back pages? There are back pages on the internet? What have I been missing?

/NOTHING can be buried in the internet age
 
2013-02-11 06:51:42 AM

Texas Gabe: Pay very close attention to what happens in the world in the shadow of this news. Watch the news that gets buried on the back pages while everyone is focusing on this. This could in fact be a massive purposeful distraction.

/conspiracy



Man receives two dollar bill with change at taco bell, claims it is fake.
 
2013-02-11 06:52:16 AM
Pope is coming out now.
 
2013-02-11 06:52:16 AM
I just want to note that in 2009, he visited the remains of Pope Celestine V at the site of the L'Aquila earthquakes and left his papal vestments from his inauguration with the body of Celestine V as a gift.

Celestine V is well-known as the pope who declared the right of papal abdication and left the Papacy after about 6 months.

A lot of observers at the time wondered what the hell the visit by Benedict XVI meant in 2009. I guess now we know.
 
2013-02-11 06:53:50 AM

Scaryduck: His resignation letter says he's been "shaken by questions of deep relevance for the life of faith"

Yeah, that whole "funny hat / shiat in the woods" thing got him at last


heh heh +1
 
2013-02-11 06:54:08 AM

avalanche: I would never have expected this. I don't think it has much to do with the abuse scandals considering how much they dug in their heels already. Besides, that's been ongoing for years. Maybe something with the butler thing as others mentioned upthread.


Whatever the reason, Benedict's leaving is no great loss for the church.
 
2013-02-11 06:54:18 AM
Do they still whack him on the head with a silver hammer on his last day?
 
2013-02-11 06:54:31 AM

Texas Gabe: Pay very close attention to what happens in the world in the shadow of this news. Watch the news that gets buried on the back pages while everyone is focusing on this. This could in fact be a massive purposeful distraction.

/conspiracy


The cats are finally making their move....
 
2013-02-11 06:54:32 AM

skantea: Pope is coming out now.


Nicely done : )
 
2013-02-11 06:54:35 AM
Ok, in a Papal death, we all know what happens.

REGARDLESS of your views on JPII, we all know what happened after he died.  Will this be like a papal death?  The college of Cardinals meet, and just elect a new Pope?
 
2013-02-11 06:54:42 AM
imjustcreative.com
 
2013-02-11 06:54:46 AM

Millennium: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed


Well, Peter Turkson seems a likely bet.
 
2013-02-11 06:55:12 AM
I'm sure whatever happened with his personal secretary and the Vatilinks issue had more to do with this then the child rape issues
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vatileak s_scandal
 
2013-02-11 06:55:26 AM

geom_00: Ok, in a Papal death, we all know what happens.

REGARDLESS of your views on JPII, we all know what happened after he died.  Will this be like a papal death?  The college of Cardinals meet, and just elect a new Pope?


Yes.
 
2013-02-11 06:57:04 AM

NobleHam: Yes.


Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.
 
2013-02-11 06:57:08 AM

Nuclear Monk: Do they still whack him on the head with a silver hammer on his last day?


No. But I hear he gets his pick of one of the alter boys to go with him. You know as his personal "assistant".

/wink wink, know what I mean
//I'm such an awful Catholic (hangs head in shame)
 
2013-02-11 06:57:16 AM
Ok, pope coming out
 
2013-02-11 06:57:19 AM

BigBooper: greentea1985: That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.

The only thing that would make sense to me is if he's been diagnosed with Alzheimers. If he knows that he's going to lose his mind, and could take a long time to die, then I could see him resigning.

I still think that the odds are better that he's resigning because of a scandal.


haha. Mad Pope Areys! "bring me a sodomite in chainmail! And FIRE!"
 
2013-02-11 06:57:43 AM

Jacobin: Ok, pope coming out


Well, that certainly explains why he'd resign.
 
2013-02-11 06:57:55 AM
i36.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 06:58:34 AM

HaywoodJablonski: Did Benedict crack under the pressure, or does he have yolk on his face? Either way, he seems to be over easy.


Naah, he's just Hard Boy-Led.
 
2013-02-11 06:58:42 AM

BigBooper: First time in 600 years....

So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.

Personally I think he's doing a tricky Dick and resigning as part of a deal to avoid the details coming out.


So Spiro Agnew is the new Pope?

/not enough people named Spiro
 
2013-02-11 06:59:27 AM
"Unprecedented, hasn't happened in 600 years."

Oy.
 
2013-02-11 06:59:32 AM
www.zootpatrol.com
 
2013-02-11 06:59:52 AM
Maybe he got caught doing donuts in the popemobile, and instead of being fired, God made him resign.
 
2013-02-11 07:00:19 AM

maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.


I doubt it.  His role in enabling and covering up the pedophilia scandal as JPII 's head of the Office of Inquisition, which handles things like priestly discipline, and his role in spiriting Cardinal law of Boston out of the US and putting him in a position that made him un-extraditable is well known and was known before his election=which was all but gauranteed since he took advantage of John Paul's Failing health to pack the College of Cardinals hand-picked people.

Though, given that he chose the ruling name of Benedict specifically to comport with the Prophecy of St. Malachy ("glory of Olives".  Olives being the symbol of St. Benedict)   that must mean he things the Apocalypse is upon us, as the prophecy lists only one Pope after "Glory of Olives: of which it says:
In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop].
Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations:
and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed,
and the terrible judge will judge his people.

Happy end of the world everyone!
 
2013-02-11 07:00:37 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


Count me among those who was frankly surprised that popes can technically abdicate in the first place.  (I know it's not quite being a god-emperor on the "Difficulty In Actually Abdicating The Throne" position, but..well...being the functional head of the largest Christian church, smallest technically independent state, and largest tax-exempt business empire in the world is its own kind of special.)

Then again, I'll also admit I'm not Catholic, have only had passing acquaintances with folks who are Catholic, and hence don't really know all the intricacies of papal law and the Official Procedure For Papal Abdication (which apparently hasn't been used since the Church threatened to do the Great Schism 2.0 back in the 1400s, if Teh Wikipedia and Catholicism wikis are any authority).  For all I honestly know about the matter, the House of Cardinals accepts a properly written (in Latin, yet) "Fark This For Two Weeks In France With A Woman With Tig-Ol' Bitties, I'm Out" notice and then proceeds to play a merry game of Duck Duck Pope.

I also have to seriously wonder what kind of kerfluffle is causing the Pope to resign.  There's been some pretty poor-in-health popes on the throne before (and it's not like the Catholic Church has vice-popes to take over when the Pontiff is unwell); also, popes do tend to be pretty darn devoted to their jobs, and usually the very few cases where a pontiff HAS abdicated have involved them basically falling on their swords (metaphorically speaking) to preserve the One True Holy Church.  (Part of me wonders if there HAS been something found out solidly tying ol' Benedict to the coverup of child sexual abuse in Catholic churches worldwide--no, it's not just North America having a major brouhaha over this.)

/seriously, I did not know before today that popes could abdicate
 
2013-02-11 07:00:46 AM

RminusQ: UDel_Kitty: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.

What, you don't like the not-at-all-made-up word consubstantial?


http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/consubstantial?s=t
 
2013-02-11 07:00:50 AM
Hope there is a cardinal Secola in the running.

/choice of a new generation
 
2013-02-11 07:01:42 AM
At least this playing out better than Godfather III, so far anyway.
 
2013-02-11 07:01:55 AM

UDel_Kitty: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.


There's an iPhone app called Laudate that has it. Of course it looks like your checking your email during Mass
 
2013-02-11 07:03:16 AM

geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.


Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.
 
2013-02-11 07:03:37 AM
No Pope song yet?   NSFW Language.
 
2013-02-11 07:03:49 AM
According to WaPo (link), the Benz has said he's resigning because God farked up by making him too ill to pontificate, but too strong to die.

tl;dr: Pope says God isn't perfect.
 
2013-02-11 07:04:08 AM
Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63
 
2013-02-11 07:04:40 AM

geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.


Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church
 
2013-02-11 07:05:26 AM

Magorn: maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.

I doubt it.  His role in enabling and covering up the pedophilia scandal as JPII 's head of the Office of Inquisition, which handles things like priestly discipline, and his role in spiriting Cardinal law of Boston out of the US and putting him in a position that made him un-extraditable is well known and was known before his election=which was all but gauranteed since he took advantage of John Paul's Failing health to pack the College of Cardinals hand-picked people.

Though, given that he chose the ruling name of Benedict specifically to comport with the Prophecy of St. Malachy ("glory of Olives".  Olives being the symbol of St. Benedict)   that must mean he things the Apocalypse is upon us, as the prophecy lists only one Pope after "Glory of Olives: of which it says:
In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop].
Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations:
and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed,
and the terrible judge will judge his people.

Happy end of the world everyone!


That's it that's the one thanks ; )
 
2013-02-11 07:06:04 AM
When Benedict thinks back, he will miss the expressions on the little boys' faces.
 
2013-02-11 07:06:37 AM
The miute I heard this (about a minute ago) I called shenanigans on the whole "poor health" thing. Popes do not resign. They just don't.

Scandal coming out.
 
2013-02-11 07:07:00 AM

BigBooper: Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

5. NO PEDOPHILES

I am just like you, my friend.  I still go to Mass, but ALL of that would make me SO MUCH happier.
 
2013-02-11 07:07:10 AM
 
2013-02-11 07:07:13 AM

miss diminutive: Scaryduck: Whoever they choose as the new Pope, she'd better be black gay.


un-struckout for the FTFY!

/black gay is both the new gay, and the new black.
//of course that makes all black gays female, what with the multi-tasking it requires. Duh,
 
2013-02-11 07:07:15 AM
img510.imageshack.us
News to me too . . .
 
2013-02-11 07:07:19 AM

ka1axy: throws hat into the ring...


Dassa more dan'a wannerfull,...
 
2013-02-11 07:07:28 AM

geom_00: Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63


Technically, you don't even need to be a priest to be elected Pope, just a baptized male. There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.
 
2013-02-11 07:08:13 AM
Will he go back to being a guy named Joe?
 
2013-02-11 07:09:43 AM
Job for life.
 
2013-02-11 07:09:48 AM

professor_tom: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 224x406]

The next Pope?

He wouldn't be against condom use in Africa, would he?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218426/The-pope-black-says- pr ominent-African-cardinal.html#axzz2KXiid3kG


He is so far... but he's kind of moderate. Maybe even liberal, as Cardinals go. You won't find many, if any at all, who openly disagree with the church's policies on contraception or homosexuality, my big two issues with the Catholics. But once they get to be Pope, who knows?
 
2013-02-11 07:10:00 AM
It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.
 
2013-02-11 07:10:08 AM
Now if the entire Farking Catholic Church would just resign as well.
 
2013-02-11 07:10:24 AM
They made a big deal about him making his first tweet.  But after that, ol'Ben went off the rails.

"I am infallible!  Suck it, biatches!"
"Where the white women boys at?"
"Aren't there any hot nuns in the entire world to help bathe me?  Jesus!"

He violated corporate policy, and they have zero tolerance.
 
2013-02-11 07:10:37 AM

namegoeshere: The miute I heard this (about a minute ago) I called shenanigans on the whole "poor health" thing. Popes do not resign. They just don't.

Scandal coming out.


I don't believe so.  JPII had a letter of resignation at hand, there have been other times when a Pope promised to resign in unprecedented times.
 
2013-02-11 07:10:54 AM
Good riddance, you nazi piece of shiat.
 
2013-02-11 07:11:23 AM

WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63

Technically, you don't even need to be a priest to be elected Pope, just a baptized male. There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.




Stephen Colbert for Pope. He had a crack at it last time, maybe he's wearing them down.
 
2013-02-11 07:11:39 AM

BigBooper: So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.


The news-worthy part of that story would be that a 85 year old man could still get it up.  Even with today's drugs, that would be a hell of a feat.
 
2013-02-11 07:12:03 AM

MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.


clarify
 
2013-02-11 07:13:20 AM

uttertosh: MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.

clarify


Marco Rubio is the obvious choice.
 
2013-02-11 07:13:24 AM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


So, basically ELCA Lutheran (as long as you aren't looking for use of Latin in service)
 
2013-02-11 07:14:19 AM
If I were to grade this Pope, I'd give him a Holy C.
 
2013-02-11 07:14:20 AM

uttertosh: MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.

clarify


There was a lot of speculation before Bene got picked that someone from a brownish country would get the nod, seeing as they comprise the largest group of Catholics in the world.  I'd be willing to bet that this time around it'll happen.
 
2013-02-11 07:14:24 AM
Benedictum Palinus
 
2013-02-11 07:14:24 AM
What kind of pope resigns at the start of Lent? Giving up the papacy for Lent probably won't go over so well in Heaven
 
2013-02-11 07:14:53 AM
It's always news when a German surrenders.
 
2013-02-11 07:15:00 AM

thisispete: I wonder if that means he can vote in conclave for the next pope, or be totally removed from the process.

I still consider myself Catholic, although I rarely go to mass these days. I don't think he's left much of a legacy. The next Pope is going to have to resolve the pedophilia scandals and hopefully reform the priesthood. I think it shows a lot of humility that Benedict accepts he's not up to the task anymore and is willing to step aside.


There is something about only the cardinals under 80 can vote. He's 85, so if they stick to the rule, no.

Also, GMA just asked some priest spokesguy what this Pope will be remembered for. He stumbled for a bit and then said, "He was a teaching pope, with his book..."

Yeah, no.

Also, it was asked if we'd ever see an American pope. The answer was, "The Catholic church sees America as a source of funds, not Popes."

So there you go, US Catholics. Your role in the greater church.
 
2013-02-11 07:15:24 AM

maggoo: BigBooper: So who here thinks that someone has proof that he either actively covered up a child abuse scandal, or that he did a little boy himself.

The news-worthy part of that story would be that a 85 year old man could still get it up.  Even with today's drugs, that would be a hell of a feat.


Hugh Hefner just got married, and he is 86. But he is a special case.
 
2013-02-11 07:15:45 AM

WaitWhatWhy: Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.


The chances of an American Cardinal being elected are slim to none.  The Holy See sees the US as already having too much power.  To add the papal throne to the list of power the US has would be a bad move for them.
 
2013-02-11 07:16:26 AM

namegoeshere: thisispete: I wonder if that means he can vote in conclave for the next pope, or be totally removed from the process.

I still consider myself Catholic, although I rarely go to mass these days. I don't think he's left much of a legacy. The next Pope is going to have to resolve the pedophilia scandals and hopefully reform the priesthood. I think it shows a lot of humility that Benedict accepts he's not up to the task anymore and is willing to step aside.

There is something about only the cardinals under 80 can vote. He's 85, so if they stick to the rule, no.

Also, GMA just asked some priest spokesguy what this Pope will be remembered for. He stumbled for a bit and then said, "He was a teaching pope, with his book..."

Yeah, no.

Also, it was asked if we'd ever see an American pope. The answer was, "The Catholic church sees America as a source of funds, not Popes."

So there you go, US Catholics. Your role in the greater church.


Thank God, the head guy in the US (and therefore the most likely choice) is Tim Dolan, and he's a complete arsclown.
 
2013-02-11 07:16:51 AM

Lord of Allusions: If I were to grade this Pope, I'd give him a Holy C.


+10 good sir, +10
 
2013-02-11 07:17:00 AM
This is suspicious. John Paul II kept power way after he was sick and invalid. I wonder what the real reason is.
 
2013-02-11 07:17:23 AM

MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.


Are you trying to give Bill O'Reilly a stroke? Just a hunch, but I'm going with old, European and white.
 
2013-02-11 07:17:41 AM

MNguy: uttertosh: MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.

clarify

There was a lot of speculation before Bene got picked that someone from a brownish country would get the nod, seeing as they comprise the largest group of Catholics in the world.  I'd be willing to bet that this time around it'll happen.


I'd actually take that bet. It'd be interesting to see a brown person get it, but the College of Cardinals is still mostly white and old. I wouldn't be surprised if enough of them are as racist as my Mississippi grandma to block it.
 
2013-02-11 07:18:54 AM

ChrisDe: MNguy: It will be nice to see a Latin American / Hispanic Pope.

Are you trying to give Bill O'Reilly a stroke? Just a hunch, but I'm going with old, European and white.


I know, but can't a lapsed Catholic boy dream?
 
2013-02-11 07:19:29 AM
media.salon.com

It would get her out of the US for a while.  And you guys could invent the term "PILF"
 
2013-02-11 07:19:37 AM

amquelbettamin: UDel_Kitty: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I don't care how accurate it is, saying "seen and unseen" vs "visible and invisible" is so much more succinct. Still haven't learned the new words, and most of the cheat cards seem to have disappeared from the pews.

There's an iPhone app called Laudate that has it. Of course it looks like your checking your email during Mass


Then again, that Bieber ringtone during the Kyries isn't helping things either.

/lapsed catholic here
//i didn't know he could resign either
///last election happened 2wks before my grandmother died
 
2013-02-11 07:19:54 AM

geom_00: WaitWhatWhy: Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.

The chances of an American Cardinal being elected are slim to none.  The Holy See sees the US as already having too much power.  To add the papal throne to the list of power the US has would be a bad move for them.


So is it as unlikely as a Pope quitting?
 
2013-02-11 07:20:06 AM

desertfool: Hugh Hefner just got married, and he is 86. But he is a special case.


Hugh Hefner makes his living pretending he is a stud that screws strings of women. So, if he couldn't perform then he might as well be out of a job.  Someone like the pope isn't exactly pressured into having sex with anyone.  In fact, its quite the opposite.
 
2013-02-11 07:20:22 AM
I'm laughing at the people who say there's a scandal coming out soon. There have been what, 15 years of scandal now? One more isn't going to do much.
 
2013-02-11 07:20:24 AM
img58.imageshack.us ?
 
2013-02-11 07:21:21 AM
Veni vidi abii
 
2013-02-11 07:21:47 AM

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Nazi


You know, I don't know if it's really all that fair to criticize Benedict XVI as a Nazi. He was never a member of the party, and while he was a member of the Hitler Youth, German Law mandates all children above a certain age at the time to be members and it was noted that he was not a particularly willing participant in the Hitler Youth.
 
2013-02-11 07:22:23 AM

stuhayes2010: This is suspicious. John Paul II kept power way after he was sick and invalid. I wonder what the real reason is.


Maybe they've decided that having an invalid at the head of the largest religious organization on earth isn't such a good idea.
 
2013-02-11 07:22:29 AM
As hard as I try, I simply cannot give a shiat.
 
2013-02-11 07:22:34 AM

greentea1985: Copper Spork: greentea1985: He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.

Senility didn't stop JP2. Besides, hearing voices is a requirement for becoming Pope.

That's part of why this seems so strange. Popes only resign under really pressing circumstances, like preventing a schism. I find health to be stretching it a bit.


He can prove that his poor health was the real reason by dying in short order.
 
2013-02-11 07:22:36 AM
On the plus side, this will make skipping mass much easier.

"You think it's bad for me to miss Sunday services, dear? The frickin' Pope just quit! I don't think God will miss me."
 
2013-02-11 07:22:44 AM
Got tired of the rotten TV reception . . .

homegame.org
 
2013-02-11 07:23:06 AM
 
2013-02-11 07:23:11 AM

WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63

Technically, you don't even need to be a priest to be elected Pope, just a baptized male. There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.




I call dibs. Sure there's the celibacy thing, but I can change that. Perks of infallibility.
 
2013-02-11 07:23:44 AM
I can see the ad now...

Do you know me? I used to be God's chosen representative on Earth. Now, I just sit around the house all day. That's why I carry the American Express card. Don't leave the Vatican without it.
 
2013-02-11 07:23:50 AM

TommyDeuce: geom_00: WaitWhatWhy: Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.

The chances of an American Cardinal being elected are slim to none.  The Holy See sees the US as already having too much power.  To add the papal throne to the list of power the US has would be a bad move for them.

So is it as unlikely as a Pope quitting?


More. Dolan's only been Cardinal a year and most of the other American Cardinals have too much abuse scandal baggage, on top of the reason above.
 
2013-02-11 07:24:44 AM
Anybody industrious enough to look up the current college of cardinals for us?
 
2013-02-11 07:24:59 AM
Even he can't stand Notre Dame football any longer.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:07 AM
Rainer Woelki - From wikipedia.

In October 2012 Cardinal Woelki was nominated for a Respect Award by the Alliance Against Homophobia. He was praised by the group for speaking out in favour of a 'new cooperation with homosexuals in society' and officially meeting the Association for Gays and Lesbians for talks This, the alliance said, had 'broken the tension between his Church and gays and lesbians and had laid the foundations for further exchange and for a constructive dialogue'. However Cardinal Woelki declined the nomination

Third youngest Cardinal...German
 
2013-02-11 07:25:53 AM

WaitWhatWhy: There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.


There's been plenty of historical precedent where the college of cardinals choose some random monk or priest who didn't really want to be the pope.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:54 AM
Vote for me.
 
2013-02-11 07:25:57 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Anybody industrious enough to look up the current college of cardinals for us?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Col le ge_of_Cardinals
 
2013-02-11 07:26:43 AM
From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him
 
2013-02-11 07:28:01 AM

xanadian: Can't read this thread without this playing in the background...


There is a reason I have come to love you : )
 
2013-02-11 07:28:01 AM

RexTalionis: WaitWhatWhy: There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.

There's been plenty of historical precedent where the college of cardinals choose some random monk or priest who didn't really want to be the pope.


True, but it's been a while since they did that. Those guys tend to be a little more likely to rock the boat, and I don't think the current crop of entrenched old white men are looking for major reform. Be interesting as hell if it happened though.
 
2013-02-11 07:28:11 AM

TommyDeuce: From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him


There is a Papal Election saying.  The one who enters the conclave as Pope will leave a Cardinal.
 
2013-02-11 07:29:06 AM

WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.


Doesn't matter who they elect. Acually is Dolan. ALWAYS acually is Dolan.

/gooby pls
 
2013-02-11 07:29:59 AM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net

It's time
 
2013-02-11 07:29:59 AM
Least successful Pope ever? To be fair, I'm working with a sample size of 2, and the previous guy was somerhing of a Rock Star, as Popes go.
 
2013-02-11 07:30:00 AM

geom_00: TommyDeuce: From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him

There is a Papal Election saying.  The one who enters the conclave as Pope will leave a Cardinal.


Perhaps, but wasn't the current Pope pretty much the odds on favorite at the last one?
 
2013-02-11 07:30:19 AM
The Daily Mash has a good write up on what is going on. It looks like he found a new job.
 
2013-02-11 07:31:46 AM
Medieval precedent? The best kind of precedent.
 
2013-02-11 07:32:02 AM

NobleHam: professor_tom: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 224x406]

He is so far... but he's kind of moderate. Maybe even liberal, as Cardinals go. You won't find many, if any at all, who openly disagree with the church's policies on contraception or homosexuality, my big two issues with the Catholics. But once they get to be Pope, who knows?


Interesting he uses the quality argument. Condoms aren't as good in Africa, because of the heat and poor manufacturing. He's for them within monogamous couples.
 
2013-02-11 07:32:10 AM
The people who think there's a big scandal brewing which required Star Wars Pope's resignation don't seem to understand - it wouldn't be an issue. People in those circles may certainly be shifty and tricky, but there is a key element which would make resigning a impossibility: they never believe they've actually done anything wrong, and moreso even if they have, who are you to question?

The histories of any large religion and/or cult are full of examples of people in charge being caught out, only to never recant - often to their dying breath - some of their more heinous crimes.

To put it another way, even if there was a massive scandal on the horizon, with evidence, the Pope would ride it out, as:
1) most followers would dismiss it;
2) a lot of people outside the church wouldn't care anyway - it's hardly a Superbowl blackout scandal, is it? And;
3) if the people implicated were at the top of the food chain, the wouldn't think they had done anything wrong in the first place. Hell, half of them would believe they had done good work in ensuring the status quo - and I'm not talking about the band, although they probably should be set on fire, just to be safe.

So,,,The exports of Libya are numerous in amount. One thing they export is corn, or as the Indians call it, "maize". Another famous Indian was "Crazy Horse". In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast. Thank you.
 
2013-02-11 07:32:15 AM
I have to get to bed...I work in 8 hours.  But, this is REALLY strange.

In the Catholic Church: The Imperial...er...The Pontiff will be leaving DURING Lent, the most important time in the churches calendar.  2013 has been declared the Year of Faith, AND, World Youth Day 2013, will be held in Rio this year.  This is a VERY strange time for the most powerful man in the church to step down...
 
2013-02-11 07:32:56 AM

TommyDeuce: From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him


My money is on the Argentinian guy. 5/1 Odds.
 
2013-02-11 07:33:25 AM
Popes do not resign due to ill-health. Ill-health is guaranteed, because you die in office.... and Benedict is an arch-traditionalist.


Clearly his bum-farked a succession horses, dumped the evidence into the Findus UK food chain, and it's about to break.
 
2013-02-11 07:33:27 AM

TommyDeuce: geom_00: TommyDeuce: From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him

There is a Papal Election saying.  The one who enters the conclave as Pope will leave a Cardinal.

Perhaps, but wasn't the current Pope pretty much the odds on favorite at the last one?


Yep. But the media also had a favorite "what if this black guy became Pope" dude last time.
 
2013-02-11 07:34:45 AM
Other odds...

Canadian - 5/2
Ghanan - 4/1
Italian - 6/1
 
2013-02-11 07:34:53 AM
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2013-02-11 07:35:32 AM

geom_00: I have to get to bed...I work in 8 hours.  But, this is REALLY strange.

In the Catholic Church: The Imperial...er...The Pontiff will be leaving DURING Lent, the most important time in the churches calendar.  2013 has been declared the Year of Faith, AND, World Youth Day 2013, will be held in Rio this year.  This is a VERY strange time for the most powerful man in the church to step down...


Yes. Why didn't he wait until Ordinary Time began again. For him to resign during Lent, it must have been serious.
 
2013-02-11 07:36:01 AM

TommyDeuce: geom_00: TommyDeuce: From The Guardian:

Ghana's Cardinal Peter Turkson favourite to replace him

There is a Papal Election saying.  The one who enters the conclave as Pope will leave a Cardinal.

Perhaps, but wasn't the current Pope pretty much the odds on favorite at the last one?


I think Benedict WAS so popular because of the way he officiated? (if that is the word...I am tired...forgive me please) JPII's funeral.  The Homily he gave was stirring, and a great tribute to the late Pope.  It was always known the Bene would be more a "caretaker" Pope, but for this to happen...
 
2013-02-11 07:36:11 AM

Corvus: Vote for me.


It was so much easier to read through he list in Medieval Total War ; )

But what I got out of that is this guy
upload.wikimedia.org
Angelo Sodano, has the highest precedence as a Cardinal Bishop as Dean of the College of Cardinals.
 
2013-02-11 07:36:56 AM

Slaxl: tinfoil-hat maggie: Anybody industrious enough to look up the current college of cardinals for us?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Col le ge_of_Cardinals


Oh and thanks I'm lazy when I'm drinking ; )
 
2013-02-11 07:37:02 AM
Does he change his name back, or does he continue to go by Bemedict? Is it like President, where you keep the honorific after you leave office?
 
2013-02-11 07:37:39 AM

greentea1985: geom_00: I have to get to bed...I work in 8 hours.  But, this is REALLY strange.

In the Catholic Church: The Imperial...er...The Pontiff will be leaving DURING Lent, the most important time in the churches calendar.  2013 has been declared the Year of Faith, AND, World Youth Day 2013, will be held in Rio this year.  This is a VERY strange time for the most powerful man in the church to step down...

Yes. Why didn't he wait until Ordinary Time began again. For him to resign during Lent, it must have been serious.


Sarcasm?  Please forgive me.  I am tired and my sarcasm/bullshiat detectors are drained.  :)
 
2013-02-11 07:37:44 AM
Something something something com-plete.
Something something something Catholic Church.
 
2013-02-11 07:38:33 AM
I wonder what Saint Malachy would have to say about this...
 
2013-02-11 07:41:40 AM
Perhaps he'll settle down in the suburbs and paint nude pictures of himself.
 
2013-02-11 07:41:52 AM
In related news, Pope Benedict has began construction of a large, spherical space station and is seeking an apprentice.
 
2013-02-11 07:41:53 AM
good thing i'm down with numerology i guess.
 
2013-02-11 07:42:16 AM

greentea1985: punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?

He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.


I watched the HBO documentary on the pedophile priests this weekend. Some pretty damning content in that. I just can't understand why they elected to deal with these criminals in the manner that they have. Disgusting.
 
2013-02-11 07:42:39 AM

deeproy: I wonder what Saint Malachy would have to say about this...


"Fark you guys, I didn't say that shiat. Stop attaching my name to some bullshiat prophecy."
 
2013-02-11 07:42:41 AM
www.faithmouse.com
B16 with pancake vestments
 
2013-02-11 07:42:42 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Corvus: Vote for me.

It was so much easier to read through he list in Medieval Total War ; )

But what I got out of that is this guy
[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x365]
Angelo Sodano, has the highest precedence as a Cardinal Bishop as Dean of the College of Cardinals.


Opps, and I screwed up and meant to post too Slaxl .

But it sorta still works ; )
 
2013-02-11 07:43:27 AM
House of Cardinals?  That's the best headline?

Too Pooped to Pope would have been my choice.  Dammit, no more sleeping in late.
 
2013-02-11 07:44:25 AM

amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.


Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?
 
2013-02-11 07:44:27 AM
Judging by his profile on Wikipedia, Peter Turkson does seem very well qualified for the role. And it's been 15 centuries since the last African pope, time for a new one I think.
 
2013-02-11 07:44:39 AM

HaywoodJablonski: What kind of pope resigns at the start of Lent? Giving up the papacy for Lent probably won't go over so well in Heaven


Maybe he's been reading too many Courage Wolf pics?

i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-11 07:45:13 AM
Pope to resign, spend more time with the kids would have been mine...
 
2013-02-11 07:45:28 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?


THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
 
2013-02-11 07:45:38 AM
cdn.uproxx.comWe Know were Pope Ratzenberger will be hanging out now.
 
2013-02-11 07:46:03 AM
punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-11 07:46:04 AM
Weren't all the Cardinals recalled to Rome last year just after Easter or was that the year before?
 
2013-02-11 07:46:15 AM
Scandal? Come on, it's not like he's a Nazi or something..
 
2013-02-11 07:47:07 AM
Did he have to give two Holy Weeks notice?
 
2013-02-11 07:47:10 AM
It'll be Dolan, the first American pope, who had the stones to go into the lions' den at the Democrat convention and rebuke the godless babykillers.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and evermore shall be.

/Dolan pls
 
2013-02-11 07:47:19 AM
wnyw.images.worldnow.com

UNLIMITED POWER
 
2013-02-11 07:47:30 AM
 
2013-02-11 07:47:34 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


This; John Paul II was ill for the last two years or so of his life and still stayed on as Pope.  There's something much, much bigger here than Benedict resigning due to "poor health".
 
2013-02-11 07:48:11 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?


This.  Hell, my now-former pastor messed it up at Easter Mass.  If he can't do it after saying at least three hundred masses at that point, what hope do we have??
 
2013-02-11 07:48:42 AM

geom_00: Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS


Yeah I liked it better when it was

"May the Force be with you"
"And also with you"
 
2013-02-11 07:48:47 AM
Valentine Pontifex of Majipoor.
 
2013-02-11 07:48:51 AM
Another abrupt end of German occupation of a formerly Polish territory...
 
2013-02-11 07:49:41 AM

Rwa2play: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.

This; John Paul II was ill for the last two years or so of his life and still stayed on as Pope.  There's something much, much bigger here than Benedict resigning due to "poor health".


I'm thinking Alzheimer's or some other degenerative disease.
 
2013-02-11 07:50:15 AM
Wow, even the Pope has to give two weeks' notice.
 
2013-02-11 07:50:43 AM
If there's a scandal, why wait until Feb 28?  Why not resign immediately (Lent doesn't officially begin until Wednesday.)  I don't buy the ill health excuse either.
 
2013-02-11 07:50:49 AM

BunkyBrewman: House of Cardinals?  That's the best headline?

Too Pooped to Pope would have been my choice.  Dammit, no more sleeping in late.


And not even a "This is not a repeat from 1415"?
 
2013-02-11 07:52:12 AM
This is happening because of the prophecies of Nostradamus.  He said a couple things.  One, that a comet would appear near Cancer (a new one has been spotted there) and that the pope would die and be replaced by the evil pope.  Now even if the Vatican doesn't believe this there are many people who do.  So if Palpatine happens to die in office when a comet becomes visible in the sky then the internet would fill with predictions that the next pope was the antichrist.  Of course that will still happen if the current pope flees (ie moves)  to France after he retires.  Especially since we are supposed to get a comet this year that will be bright enough to be seen in the daytime sky.

Hey wait a minute.  Nostradamus was right.  Next stop an asteroid in the ocean near Greece.  Everybody Panic!
 
2013-02-11 07:52:35 AM
I blame his cousin Bishan.

/Better not be obscure.
 
2013-02-11 07:52:59 AM
I think he wants to work on some solo projects.
 
2013-02-11 07:53:42 AM

WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63

Technically, you don't even need to be a priest to be elected Pope, just a baptized male. There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.


Unless there's a special rule for the pope, not even baptized; Ambrose wasn't.
 
2013-02-11 07:53:51 AM

NobleHam: deeproy: I wonder what Saint Malachy would have to say about this...

"Fark you guys, I didn't say that shiat. Stop attaching my name to some bullshiat prophecy."


There's a reason for the expression "That's a load of Malachy"
 
2013-02-11 07:54:03 AM

miss diminutive: stuhayes2010: This is suspicious. John Paul II kept power way after he was sick and invalid. I wonder what the real reason is.

Maybe they've decided that having an invalid at the head of the largest religious organization on earth isn't such a good idea.


If they've decided that, they've sentence the Catholic Church to death.
 
2013-02-11 07:54:06 AM

indylaw: It'll be Dolan, the first American pope, who had the stones to go into the lions' den at the Democrat convention and rebuke the godless babykillers.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and evermore shall be.

/Dolan pls


No - there won't be an American Pope as long as America is a Superpower. The church is afraid of American Catholics anyway, we tend to have liberal ideas and, while the priesthood is largely immune from (or rather wilfully ignores) those trends, they are tainted by the association.

The next pope will be African, Latin American, or (less likely) Asian.
 
2013-02-11 07:54:27 AM

MNguy: Rwa2play: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.

This; John Paul II was ill for the last two years or so of his life and still stayed on as Pope.  There's something much, much bigger here than Benedict resigning due to "poor health".

I'm thinking Alzheimer's or some other degenerative disease.


There have been plenty of Popes that have lost their faculties. I assume if it gets too bad they just put him out of his misery.
 
2013-02-11 07:54:39 AM
Perfect headline: EX BENEDICT.

My cholice for his replacement:
www.smithgifford.com
 
2013-02-11 07:55:32 AM
CBS is reporting that he is leaving the Pope job to fill the recently opened defensive coordinator position with Penn State.
 
2013-02-11 07:56:28 AM

thisispete: I wonder if that means he can vote in conclave for the next pope, or be totally removed from the process.

I still consider myself Catholic, although I rarely go to mass these days. I don't think he's left much of a legacy. The next Pope is going to have to resolve the pedophilia scandals and hopefully reform the priesthood. I think it shows a lot of humility that Benedict accepts he's not up to the task anymore and is willing to step aside.


Assuming, of course, that that is why he is stepping aside.I'm Catholic as well (practicing, FWIW) and I have a bad
feeling that something is going to come out that is going to shake the Church to its foundation.

Maybe that's not a bad thing, though. Shine a light into its underbelly and squash all of the vermin that scurry out,
then rebuild.
 
2013-02-11 07:56:38 AM
He's quitting because Vatican Gubbmint is TOO BIG.
 
2013-02-11 07:56:41 AM

geom_00: greentea1985: geom_00: I have to get to bed...I work in 8 hours.  But, this is REALLY strange.

In the Catholic Church: The Imperial...er...The Pontiff will be leaving DURING Lent, the most important time in the churches calendar.  2013 has been declared the Year of Faith, AND, World Youth Day 2013, will be held in Rio this year.  This is a VERY strange time for the most powerful man in the church to step down...

Yes. Why didn't he wait until Ordinary Time began again. For him to resign during Lent, it must have been serious.

Sarcasm?  Please forgive me.  I am tired and my sarcasm/bullshiat detectors are drained.  :)


Not sarcasm. If this was really due to health reasons, it would make sense to announce his resignation but not make it official until Ordinary Time II begins (the gap in the Catholic religious calendar between Pentecost and the start of Advent). That would guarantee someone is in charge during the Lent and Easter seasons and provide enough time for a successor to be elected before he leaves. Leaving right now makes it very likely a successor will not be elected until Easter if not Ordinary Time II. This only makes sense if he is leaving to avoid a scandal or his health is really truly horrible. The scandal is far more likely, particularly given new stories from last month that the Church suppressed a damaging report about sex abuse scandals in Germany that would have implicated the pope directly in the cover-up.
 
2013-02-11 07:57:05 AM
m-m-m-multi pope pope pope
 
2013-02-11 07:58:27 AM

Noah_Tall: This is happening because of the prophecies of Nostradamus.  He said a couple things.  One, that a comet would appear near Cancer (a new one has been spotted there) and that the pope would die and be replaced by the evil pope.  Now even if the Vatican doesn't believe this there are many people who do.  So if Palpatine happens to die in office when a comet becomes visible in the sky then the internet would fill with predictions that the next pope was the antichrist.  Of course that will still happen if the current pope flees (ie moves)  to France after he retires.  Especially since we are supposed to get a comet this year that will be bright enough to be seen in the daytime sky.

Hey wait a minute.  Nostradamus was right.  Next stop an asteroid in the ocean near Greece.  Everybody Panic!


What has happened before will happen again may the gods be with us : )
 
2013-02-11 07:59:04 AM
i527.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 07:59:13 AM

amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.


I know, right? I mean, consubstantial? Really?
 
2013-02-11 07:59:31 AM
 
2013-02-11 07:59:33 AM

Corvus: Vote for me.


Will you set me free?
 
2013-02-11 08:00:03 AM
Huh.  Well, I don't think anyone saw that coming.
 
2013-02-11 08:00:40 AM

Krustofsky: Wow, even the Pope has to give two weeks' notice.


He is just hoping they just tell him to pack up his stuff and have the swiss guards walk him out of the vatican, so he can collect unemployment.

Plus you don't want to burn bridges. St Peter will call you out on that at the exit interview.
 
2013-02-11 08:01:54 AM
It's prolly for tax reasons.
 
2013-02-11 08:02:13 AM
What will the new pope be called? I find it hard to believe that all the good names have been taken. Biggus Dicus, Pontifex Maximus!

Or maybe Cletus II for the redneck vote.
 
2013-02-11 08:02:40 AM

HaywoodJablonski: What kind of pope resigns at the start of Lent? Giving up the papacy for Lent probably won't go over so well in Heaven


Well, it was that or chocolate
 
2013-02-11 08:04:05 AM
Wasnt he supposed to be the second to last pope?  Well.. if you in to that kind of thing
 
2013-02-11 08:04:10 AM
Ah the Catholic priesthood, they're always trading in for a younger guy.
 
2013-02-11 08:04:20 AM
Look I'm an atheist ex-Catholic, and I have no love for the church of child rape, but the dude is 85. When my great-grandfather reached that age he started having dementia. My wife's grandmother's that age and is losing her marbles. So just sayin' he's probably quitting due to a chronic case of being an old fart.
 
2013-02-11 08:04:28 AM

homelessdude: Will he still have access to the company car on weekends?
If yes, will he have to pay his own gas/tolls?

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 434x272]


Is it just me or does the Pope-mobileTM look like a mobile dunk tank?

Sink the Pontiff...3 tries for a dollar!
 
2013-02-11 08:04:57 AM

indylaw: What will the new pope be called? I find it hard to believe that all the good names have been taken. Biggus Dicus, Pontifex Maximus!

Or maybe Cletus II for the redneck vote.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

St Malachy says expect a run on tinfoil from the nutters.
 
2013-02-11 08:05:42 AM
As a guy who just started watching "house of cards", I am so pissed at subby for the spoiler.

I hope subby finds ants crawling in his half eaten cereal this morning
 
2013-02-11 08:05:55 AM
 
2013-02-11 08:06:39 AM
Pope on the ropes?
 
2013-02-11 08:07:02 AM
Perhaps he is afraid that the LAPD would mistake the Popemobile for a Nissan Titan.
 
2013-02-11 08:07:08 AM

verbaltoxin: Look I'm an atheist ex-Catholic, and I have no love for the church of child rape, but the dude is 85. When my great-grandfather reached that age he started having dementia. My wife's grandmother's that age and is losing her marbles. So just sayin' he's probably quitting due to a chronic case of being an old fart.


No no, there's more to it than they're letting on! A scandal of some kind. A conspiracy maybe. Quitting because he's old and tired? That's just ridiculous. You should read more Dan Brown novels.
 
2013-02-11 08:07:34 AM
I call dibs on the prime relics: hands, teeth, and dong.
 
2013-02-11 08:07:54 AM

Dracolich: Ah the Catholic priesthood, they're always trading in for a younger guy.


They have a good farm system though. Remember all of those draft picks they got from the Anglicans? Hopefully this frees up enough cap space that they can solve their problems in goal.
 
2013-02-11 08:08:00 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: Out with the old, into the young


farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-11 08:08:43 AM

Andromeda: who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?


As the old saying goes, it's either a dead girl or a live boy.
 
2013-02-11 08:09:12 AM

gothelder: Hope there is a cardinal Secola in the running.

/choice of a new generation


gastrotraveling.com

Seeeeeeecola!
 
2013-02-11 08:09:40 AM
I would like to take this opportunity to submit my name for consideration\ in the new papal election.
 
2013-02-11 08:11:16 AM
Resign? I thought you had to be dead to leave office?
 
2013-02-11 08:11:45 AM
www.freedomsphoenix.com
 
2013-02-11 08:11:49 AM

indylaw: What will the new pope be called? I find it hard to believe that all the good names have been taken. Biggus Dicus, Pontifex Maximus!

Or maybe Cletus II for the redneck vote.


Rastus 1?
 
2013-02-11 08:12:29 AM
Did he not want to give up chocolate?
 
2013-02-11 08:12:36 AM

punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?


Yeah, that's what I thought.

Next was HELP ME JEeBUS!! TIS THE END TIMES!!
 
2013-02-11 08:14:02 AM
So will he lose his unique direct connection to God privileges?
 
2013-02-11 08:15:07 AM
The new pope can't be any worse than John XII - he was accused of committing many adulteries (even with his own niece), turning the Vatican into a whorehouse, blinding his confessor, castrating and then murdering a subdeacon, invoking demons and foreign gods... the list goes on and on.
 
2013-02-11 08:17:16 AM

autopsybeverage: Pope poops out. Catholics craving closure. Altar boys aspire to avoid assrape.


Much better headline.

Anyway, it was nice to know you all.
One Pope left
Then it's all over.
Burma Shave
 
2013-02-11 08:17:43 AM
I'm available if then need a replacement.
 
2013-02-11 08:18:14 AM

chrylis: WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: Looking at a list of the College of Cardinals  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/College_of_Cardinals#Members_of_the_Coll e ge_of_Cardinals :

The youngest Cardinal I saw was born in 1950.

John Paul II was 58 when elected.  The YOUNGEST POPE who could be elected would already by 63

Technically, you don't even need to be a priest to be elected Pope, just a baptized male. There's not law requiring that they choose among cardinals, just lots of tradition.

Unless there's a special rule for the pope, not even baptized; Ambrose wasn't.


I think that under the current rules, you have to be baptized, although its not like it's all that hard to sprinkle a bit of water and call it a day. They do everything else if you aren't already a priest.
http://www.legalflip.com/Article.aspx?id=80&pageid=409
 
2013-02-11 08:18:15 AM

LDM90: No no, there's more to it than they're letting on! A scandal of some kind. A conspiracy maybe. Quitting because he's old and tired? That's just ridiculous. You should read more Dan Brown novels.


People are making up wild theories because it's an unprecedented event in modern times, and it raises a whole load of questions. For one, the pope has a direct line to God. He's the big man's administrative assistant here on Earth. Ol' Beardy can't get his message through because Pope Palpatine is a little tired? If he can't throw in a little extra juice on that spiritual curve ball, what hope is there for the rest of Catholics? The pope is infallible except when he doesn't feel like being pope anymore?

/granted when the Medicis bought a few generations worth of popes, these same sorts of questions were applicable, but that was like, years ago
 
2013-02-11 08:18:31 AM
He's merely sick and tired of blessing everyone, and wants to get back to cursing sinners.

/I can't wait for Farker BenedictCardinal to be back.
 
2013-02-11 08:19:17 AM
Cyber Pope! Cyber Pope!

i6.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 08:19:56 AM

HaywoodJablonski: What kind of pope resigns at the start of Lent? Giving up the papacy for Lent probably won't go over so well in Heaven


thinkprogress.org
BXVI: "I'm sorry Jesus...I just don't feel up to the job anymore. It's such so difficult. The world says
such unkind things about me and my health  isn't the greatest anymore you know..."

www.divinelove.co.za
Jesus: "You want to quit because you don't FEEL GOOD????"
 
2013-02-11 08:20:03 AM

Shadow Blasko: [images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 542x550]

It's time


You called?
 
2013-02-11 08:20:27 AM

beerbaron: The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: Didn't someone point out a while back that they picked an old guy for pope in the first place so they had time to pick a better candidate for pope that would be around a while?

This has been my theory for a while. He is a temp-pope.


Will Pope Andropov be succeeded by Pope Gorbachev? Or do we get Pope Chernenko first?
 
2013-02-11 08:20:35 AM
Yes, but will it taste like the old Pope?
 
2013-02-11 08:20:41 AM

BigBooper: Invent one?!?! How about just picking one of the many that are already out?


You mean whacked out conspiracy theories right?
I mean, After all, It was Pope Benedict who ordered the planes to fly into Marcia Brady and break her nose.
 
2013-02-11 08:21:11 AM
i.imgur.com

On to his new career...
 
2013-02-11 08:21:40 AM

Noah_Tall: This is happening because of the prophecies of Nostradamus.  He said a couple things.  One, that a comet would appear near Cancer (a new one has been spotted there) and that the pope would die and be replaced by the evil pope.  Now even if the Vatican doesn't believe this there are many people who do.  So if Palpatine happens to die in office when a comet becomes visible in the sky then the internet would fill with predictions that the next pope was the antichrist.  Of course that will still happen if the current pope flees (ie moves)  to France after he retires.  Especially since we are supposed to get a comet this year that will be bright enough to be seen in the daytime sky.

Hey wait a minute.  Nostradamus was right.  Next stop an asteroid in the ocean near Greece.  Everybody Panic!


i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-11 08:22:32 AM

LineNoise: St Malachy says expect a run on tinfoil from the nutters.


After the Mayan thing failed to play out, we were due for a new apocalypse craze.
 
2013-02-11 08:22:33 AM

ka1axy: throws hat into the ring...

[www.fathersarducci.com image 419x525]


You know it's funny, I was wondering who we could get as an Antipope.
He would be perfect.

//Oh wait, Everybody is the Pope.
 
2013-02-11 08:22:46 AM
What's the over/under on the Ex Pope getting charged with child rape?
 
2013-02-11 08:23:01 AM
Well, now they'll obviously just go to the verses in the Bible that define the papacy as an elected office and how that office passes from pope to pope.

Ctrl-F in Bible for "pope"...
0 results found
 
2013-02-11 08:23:29 AM

digitalrain: Jesus: "You want to quit because you don't FEEL GOOD????"


Hey, he chose to go ahead and die instead of pulling some God shiat and blowin' up the Roman empire, so I'm not sure that's an applicable comparison.

Also, Simon of Cyrene.
 
2013-02-11 08:23:41 AM

ur14me: Yes, but will it taste like the old Pope?


Nope. In a couple of months, they'll bring back Pope ClassicTM.
 
2013-02-11 08:23:55 AM

amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.


And how about that mistake in the other translation? I can't believe the word was actually "celebRate" all this time.
 
2013-02-11 08:25:18 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: So now he's an anti-Pope.  And if he ever comes in contact with the new Pope, space-time will be ripped apart.


No, he's not an antipope.
 
2013-02-11 08:25:21 AM
What does the Pope do anyway? Besides practicing his Force lightning.
 
2013-02-11 08:25:26 AM

digitalrain: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

I know, right? I mean, consubstantial? Really?


I have more trouble with "all things visible and invisible"
 
2013-02-11 08:26:07 AM
Can anyone tell me when it became "brave" to quit? Quitting used to be something only honorable people did when their position was untenable, or brought scandal to those around them, but it was still very difficult to resign and keep face. There are a few exceptions, government ministers resigning in protest against actions by their own government would qualify, but going "ooh, I feel poorly, I best resign, then I can collect welfare cheques", isn't brave or worthy of respect or admiration like some of the stupid fawning I've seen from journalists who know nothing about him or the church.
 
2013-02-11 08:26:19 AM

meat0918: What's the over/under on the Ex Pope getting charged with child rape?


Over under? Umm, 43 1/2.
 
2013-02-11 08:26:49 AM

RubberBabyBuggyBumpers: CBS is reporting that he is leaving the Pope job to fill the recently opened defensive coordinator position with Penn State.


hahahaha Now that's funny. Really, it made me chuckle.
 
2013-02-11 08:26:51 AM
On the one hand, why do I give a shiat. On the other hand, it is a little interesting to see something that hasn't happened in 600 years.
 
2013-02-11 08:26:58 AM

xanadian: Can't read this thread without this playing in the background...


Or this.
 
2013-02-11 08:27:04 AM
Honestly, I expected to be more popular in this thread.
 
2013-02-11 08:28:08 AM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.
 
2013-02-11 08:28:19 AM
Andromeda: Another thing I've just considered- my understanding is one main reason you don't choose the next one until after he dies is so he can't influence the election of his successor.  Which even if he can't vote Benedict obviously will be able to do.

Really sucks for those who are involved in the Church and were hoping to take it in a new direction.


This.  But the timing for this decision was certainly propitious.  "As a condition of its 2007 legal settlement with past victims of sexual misconduct, the Los Angeles Archdiocese promised to release http://clergyfiles.la-archdiocese.org/listing.html">documents in church archives that detail the church's attempts to handle steady reports of priestly misconduct." Those documents have only started coming out the last week of January - it's possible that the current Pope will be even more of an embarassment than he already was - I don't know how much of an impediment to the Catholic Church thriving in this time he was, but can you think of a Moral Authority with less Moral Authority than that which allows those in which you have been asked time and again to grant trust to your soul, to rape your kids?  With impunity?

After all, I agree - resigning from the post of "He who should intercede for us with God - chosen by God" doesn't really sound like a choice under the terms of the "contract" - of course, boy farking shouldn't be in the terms of the contract either.  Imagine my surprise.  This motherfarker should have been burned.

But now he'll get a chance to hand pick his successor - and don't think he won't have influence.  It's as bad as the Borgias and the Medicis. For those who'd like to see the Catholic Church as a force for good in the world, there is little hope that someone actually moral and upright will be chosen to purge the cancer and lead to a place of trust.
 
2013-02-11 08:28:58 AM

sno man: Corvus: Vote for me.

Will you set me free?


Rap on, Rap on Brother. Rap on.
 
2013-02-11 08:29:11 AM

enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.


How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?
 
2013-02-11 08:29:36 AM
Then the day comes when the Nazi bails on your little private club and you have to ask yourself...
 
2013-02-11 08:29:38 AM

Lost Thought 00: Does he change his name back, or does he continue to go by Bemedict? Is it like President, where you keep the honorific after you leave office?


He's now Your Quittiness.
 
2013-02-11 08:30:11 AM
Anyone mention the prophesy of St Malachy yet?
 
2013-02-11 08:30:30 AM

WinoRhino: And how about that mistake in the other translation? I can't believe the word was actually "celebRate" all this time.


Somebody mixed up the lyrics to Kool & The Gang's seminal hit and the rules of behavior for priests one day, and the world has never been the same. At least now that the error has been uncovered, we can experience Kool's scathing critique of abstinence only education, Celebation.
 
2013-02-11 08:31:27 AM

Millennium: After the Mayan thing failed to play out, we were due for a new apocalypse craze.


Are you sure it failed to play out? Maybe you misunderstood what was going to happen.

anyway..........

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-02-11 08:31:42 AM
I wonder if this has to do with corruption of church finances.
 
2013-02-11 08:32:09 AM

DamnYankees: enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.

How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?


That one is a dealbreaker for me, too.
 
2013-02-11 08:32:31 AM
Pope Romney!
 
2013-02-11 08:32:37 AM

Bill_Z_Bub: Petrus Romanus up next
Could everyone stop having a doomsday, please.


Came for this.
 
2013-02-11 08:33:58 AM
"And I won't get any older, now the angels wanna wear my red shoes."
 
2013-02-11 08:34:26 AM
I wanted Quitimus Maximus for the headline

NPR played him quitting in Latin this morning
 
2013-02-11 08:35:11 AM
Well, I did Nazi that coming.
 
2013-02-11 08:35:17 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: So now he's an anti-Pope.  And if he ever comes in contact with the new Pope, space-time will be ripped apart.


.

That could actually be a pretty cool anime series. Two Popes with clandestine armies of followers duking it out for supremecy and then it turns out the mysterious shadow govt of non believers is run by Isaac Newton.
 
2013-02-11 08:35:22 AM
Seeing as my boss just asked for my formal letter of resignation, I might just copy the pope's and change a few names.
 
2013-02-11 08:35:32 AM

monoski: I wanted Quitimus Maximus for the headline

NPR played him quitting in Latin this morning


Somebody needs to photoshop the pope being all buddy-buddy with Sarah Palin...
 
2013-02-11 08:35:39 AM
I was *really* hoping for a more Star Wars-y headline here, like 'Pope Palpatine to retire, spend more time with the Dark Side of the Force'. Not really THAT, since it sucks, but something along those lines. Fark, I am disappoint.

/ glad he's not hanging until the bitter bitter bitter bitter utterly incapacitated end, like JPII. It broke my heart to see how ruined that man became
 
2013-02-11 08:36:34 AM

Goimir: Seeing as my boss just asked for my formal letter of resignation, I might just copy the pope's and change a few names.


There's at least one prominent job opening you could apply for.
 
2013-02-11 08:36:47 AM
New Religion.
 
2013-02-11 08:37:26 AM
Nazi pope, Nazi pope, Nazi pope ... fark off!
 
2013-02-11 08:38:03 AM
Microsoft releases the Surface Pro and the Pope announces his abdication. Coincidence?
 
2013-02-11 08:38:18 AM
Conspiracy theories aside, people used to die a lot earlier in the old days. So, one day you're a sprightly 60-something year old and the next day you keel over and die because your biblically-mandated three-score and ten are up. These days medically science will keep you alive for years, even after you're no longer physically capable of doing much. There's not much point for people like him, with actual duties to perform, to struggle on for years and years until they finally expire. I can see abdication becoming more and more common for popes and monarchs.
 
2013-02-11 08:38:19 AM
So does the Pope shiat in the woods?
 
2013-02-11 08:38:22 AM
Perhaps this whole Petrus Romanus prophecy is actually about the dissolution of the Church.  I mean we still have yet to see fulfillment of Pius X's prophecy of 1909 (quoting of course):

In 1909, in the midst of an audience with members of the Franciscan order, he seemed to fall into a trance. Moments passed, then his eyes sprung open and he jumped to his feet. "What I have seen is terrifying!" he cried out. "Will I be the one, or will it be a successor? What is certain is that the Pope will leave Rome and, in leaving the Vatican, he will have to pass over the dead bodies of his priests!"

and his later updating on his deathbed:

I have seen one of my successors, of the same name, who was fleeing over the bodies of his brethren. He will take refuge in some hiding place; but after a brief respite, he will die a cruel death. Respect for God has disappeared from human hearts. They wish to efface even God's memory. This perversity is nothing less than the beginning of the last days of the world.

Now compare to Petrus Romanus:

Peter the Roman, who will Nourish the sheep in many tribulations; when they are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed, and the dreadful (ed: sometimes translated as formidable) judge will judge his people. The end.

So we may not actually be seeing the end of the World, but the End of the Church.  Perhaps Benedict believes similar and, having taken up the mantle of Gloria Oliuæ which would lead to Petrus Romanus.  The Church, under the weight of its own corruption and rapidly losing its followers, comes under attack.  There may be an actual physical attack, or the "attack" may force social death on the Church.  To be honest I think Pius X may have been going a bit loopy on his death and inserted the whole "of the same name" bit, but that remains to be seen.

Either way we may be looking at some interesting things happening in the coming years.
 
2013-02-11 08:38:43 AM
Is he stepping down so he can spend more time with your children?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 08:38:52 AM
You wonder.. does he get to keep the marketing deals?

static.fastcommerce.com
 
2013-02-11 08:39:34 AM

verbaltoxin: Look I'm an atheist ex-Catholic, and I have no love for the church of child rape, but the dude is 85. When my great-grandfather reached that age he started having dementia. My wife's grandmother's that age and is losing her marbles. So just sayin' he's probably quitting due to a chronic case of being an old fart.


Yep. JP2 might have had some dementia, but there are huge differences to how senile people get. If his handlers starting seeing really serious signs, they'll have pushed him towards abdicating. The church is already going through a number of scandals, adding on a pope who might blurt out crazy shiat during mass probably just doesn't seem worth the risk.
 
2013-02-11 08:39:48 AM

Millennium: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed


If his name is Peter and he's from Rome, I <b>think</b> I'm gonna crap my pants.
 
2013-02-11 08:40:43 AM
Petrus Romanus, qui paſcet oues in multis tribulationibus: quibus tranſactis ciuitas ſepticollis diruetur, & Iudex tremẽdus iudicabit populum ſuum.
 
2013-02-11 08:40:48 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: meat0918: What's the over/under on the Ex Pope getting charged with child rape?

Over under? Umm, 43 1/2.


I would guess they pick the pope by the guy with longest time since last rape, so no chances of statute of limitations not already running out.  That way if they all get busted the pope would be the last guy out and could turn off the lights.

That and he is being forced to resign, because he wanted to do something about the rapes and the Bishops and Cardinals about lost it.  One was physically held back as he yelled "How dare he take away 'altarboy time', let me at him, let me at him".
 
2013-02-11 08:41:22 AM
farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-11 08:42:09 AM

gothelder: Hope there is a cardinal Secola in the running.

/choice of a new generation


An oldie but a goodie.
 
2013-02-11 08:42:45 AM
I'm kind of hoping for a Black Pope, just to mess with some people.  Plus, it would be awesome if his pope-hat was bigger.
 
2013-02-11 08:43:06 AM
Isn't it an odd coincidence that this is Hitler's birthday?

okay it isn't Hitler's birthday
 
2013-02-11 08:43:42 AM
i843.photobucket.com
Papal Mainframe
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 08:44:14 AM

Thrakkerzog: I'm kind of hoping for a Black Pope, just to mess with some people.  Plus, it would be awesome if his pope-hat was bigger.


This would be nice (both).  The south already likes to claim that Catholicism is a cult.  I love it when redneck heads explode.
 
2013-02-11 08:44:23 AM
Couldn't they kill him like they did with John Paul I
 
2013-02-11 08:45:42 AM
I'm guessing he got caught by some cardinal putting "Jesus" into some Vatican choir boys. Probably a pederast like the rest of them. Rot in hell, Nazi shiatbag.
 
2013-02-11 08:47:28 AM

d23: Thrakkerzog: I'm kind of hoping for a Black Pope, just to mess with some people.  Plus, it would be awesome if his pope-hat was bigger.

This would be nice (both).  The south already likes to claim that Catholicism is a cult.  I love it when redneck heads explode.


Well the last pope is supposed to bring an end to the church, right?
 
2013-02-11 08:47:55 AM
It's a conspiracy involving the Jews, the Mafia, and the ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly.
 
2013-02-11 08:48:34 AM
DamnYankees:

How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?

Ahh, I don't think there's much to cover up.  Then again, priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.
 
2013-02-11 08:49:48 AM
deathandtaxesmag.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com
good thing he already has a successor lined up.
 
2013-02-11 08:49:51 AM

enry: DamnYankees:

How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?

Ahh, I don't think there's much to cover up.  Then again, priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.


Nope, sure aren't.
 
2013-02-11 08:49:55 AM

enry: DamnYankees:

How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?

Ahh, I don't think there's much to cover up.  Then again, priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.


???

Ours were always sent down from the dioceses.
 
2013-02-11 08:50:35 AM
I had also noticed that last week on the wikipedia list of recent deaths that 10 bishops died in less than a week [feb 3 - feb 8 ]. (9 prelates and 1 archbishop)  They were all old.  I guess it was an old coincidence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deaths_in_2013
 
2013-02-11 08:51:41 AM

Jake Havechek: It's a conspiracy involving the Jews, the Mafia, and the ghost of Charles Nelson Reilly.


If you had said Russian Mafia sure maybe but really you expect a bunch of Italians to turn. I'm counting Sicilians as Italians yea I know I could die from that.
 
2013-02-11 08:51:50 AM
Does he get to keep the hat?
 
2013-02-11 08:51:59 AM
I remember some rumors last fall that he might step down and how that hadn't happened in 600 years.

From September 2012:

According to Italian daily newspaper "Libero", Pope Benedict XVI is thinking about leaving the papacy next April, when he will turn 85

Adrea Tornielli
Vatican City

There is one front page news story that will certainly not go unnoticed: that is, that the Pope is thinking about resigning during the Spring of 2012. Journalist Antonio Socci has confirmed the same in the Italian daily, Libero.

"For now," Socci writes, "he is saying that this may be true (Joseph Ratzinger's personal assumption), but I hope the story does not reach the news. But this rumor is circulating high up in the Vatican and therefore deserves close attention. The Pope has not rejected the possibility of his resignation when he turns 85 in April next year."

Socci recalls that the assumption he will resign, without any hitches, was the same thing Ratzinger talked about in an interview in the book "Luce del mondo" (Light of the World), when, in response to a question by interviewer Peter Seewald, he said: "When a Pope arrives at a clear awareness that he no longer has the physical, mental, or psychological capacity to carry out the task that has been entrusted to him, then he has the right, and in some cases, even the duty to resign." Furthermore, in another passage, Benedict XVI wondered if he would be able to "withstand it all, just from the physical point of view."

Socci makes the following observation in today's edition of Libero: "Today, Pope Benedict seems to be in really good form; just the same, there's the issue of his age and just how much energy he has left." But the writer/journalist also recalls another passage from the same book interview, which has to do with the attacks and controversies related to the pedophile priests' scandal: "When there is a great menace, one cannot simply run away from it. That is why, right now, it is definitely not the time to resign."


http://catholicforum.fisheaters.com/index.php/topic,3444274.0.html
 
2013-02-11 08:52:02 AM
I assume he get's a steady supply of altar boys as part of his package? (pun intended)

Maybe this time they'll not pick a nazi.
 
2013-02-11 08:52:22 AM
Poping is hard work
 
2013-02-11 08:52:59 AM
Considering that Joseph Ratzinger didn't really want to be Pope, it sort of makes sense that he wants to resign.  I think he understood that he was a caretaker Pope, basically keeping the seat warm until the cardinals could come up with someone better.
 
2013-02-11 08:53:57 AM

Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?


Wait, what?  I haven't been to church in quite a while (before cell phones and custom ring tones were uniquitous, so the Justin Bieber comment earlier was amusing), so when did this change?  And what, did the priests just come out one day and say "Okay, so before when I said 'Peace be with you' and you responded with 'and also with you' we were apparently doing everything all wrong.  The proper response will now be 'with your spirit'.  Sorry about any relatives that are now burning in the pits of hell because we had the wording wrong before."?
 
2013-02-11 08:54:10 AM

Kome: Is he stepping down so he can spend more time with your children?


No kome, he is going to help retards like you who didn't have a prayer of being accepted into any Jesuit university but insist on bragging about their grades at some shiatbag third tier Florida school. Don't deny it.
 
2013-02-11 08:54:12 AM

gadian: I didn't know they could do that.  I'm imagining that fast food scene - "fark you, fark you, you're cool, etc."  Is there an old Pope's retirement home?


It's called hell.
 
2013-02-11 08:54:37 AM
 
2013-02-11 08:55:18 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Considering that Joseph Ratzinger didn't really want to be Pope, it sort of makes sense that he wants to resign.  I think he understood that he was a caretaker Pope, basically keeping the seat warm until the cardinals could come up with someone better.


Thinking back to when JP2 died, there was a lot of talk about a more `interesting' choice. Maybe someone from South America, or Africa. They wound up settling on what everyone assumed would be a short tenured pope, I wonder if now maybe they'll revisit the idea of someone more interesting.
 
2013-02-11 08:56:02 AM
Hey, did you hear about that new Nazi?

He used to be a Pope!
 
2013-02-11 08:56:08 AM

StrangeQ: Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?

Wait, what?  I haven't been to church in quite a while (before cell phones and custom ring tones were uniquitous, so the Justin Bieber comment earlier was amusing), so when did this change?  And what, did the priests just come out one day and say "Okay, so before when I said 'Peace be with you' and you responded with 'and also with you' we were apparently doing everything all wrong.  The proper response will now be 'with your spirit'.  Sorry about any relatives that are now burning in the pits of hell because we had the wording wrong before."?


Yeah, pretty much exactly that happened.
 
2013-02-11 08:56:48 AM

enry: priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.


Somehow, I get the feeling you either aren't Catholic or never actually paid attention to how things work in the Catholic Church.
 
2013-02-11 08:57:31 AM
Look, all this really means is, that they found a boy who's simply too old for the Catholic Church.
 
2013-02-11 08:57:49 AM

incendi: monoski: I wanted Quitimus Maximus for the headline

NPR played him quitting in Latin this morning

Somebody needs to photoshop the pope being all buddy-buddy with Sarah Palin...


Would be cool to see him take her spot on Fox News
 
2013-02-11 08:58:24 AM

amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.


I bailed when everyone started holding hands during the Our Father like a bunch of Protestants.
 
2013-02-11 08:59:05 AM

gadian: Is there an old Pope's retirement home?


Interesting theological issue as you'll have 2 guys that both have claim to being appointed by God as leader of the RCC.  I believe the old one gets packed away to some monastery somewhere in seclusion to die in peace.

I don't think the Pope has a 401(k) plan.
 
2013-02-11 08:59:30 AM
Okay, Pope is coming out
 
2013-02-11 08:59:56 AM
Bad_Seed
These days medically science will keep you alive for years, even after you're no longer physically capable of doing much. There's not much point for people like him, with actual duties to perform, to struggle on for years and years until they finally expire. I can see abdication becoming more and more common for popes and monarchs.

The pope might have come to the same conclusion (personal thought: maybe he didn't like the way his predecessor went?)
There's an interview book with Benedict from 2010 ("Peter Seewald - Light of the World") and, according to Der Spiegel, there's a part where the pope said something like:
"If a pope clearly realizes that he can't physically, psychically or mentally fulfill the duties of his office, then he has a right and maybe even the obligation to resign."

With that quote in mind, it's less of a surprise that this particular pope would step down.
 
2013-02-11 09:00:12 AM

enry: Then again, priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.


Yeah, no.
 
2013-02-11 09:00:57 AM

greentea1985: punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?

He can. Popes have resigned before, but the last one was back in the 1400s. Usually they just die in office. Either he';s starting to go been senile (hence the wording "healthy in body and mind") and felt unable to lead the Church, there's a really damaging report coming out on his role in the sex abuse scandal (there is already strong circumstantial evidence that he helped cover up cases in Germany), or a combination of both. I wonder who the new pope will be.

 
2013-02-11 09:02:12 AM
May probe helpful in the coming days:

Cardinal Dionigi Tettamanzi
Dionigi Tettamanzi is probably the leading Italian candidate for pope. The Italian contingent of cardinals is fairly well disciplined and likely want to return the papacy to an Italian, so if they are able to succeed it will likely be with Tettamanzi.

Cardinal Angelo Sodano
Angelo Sodano has been criticized for the influence he exercised over John Paul II. A number of cardinals named by the pope in 2001 were, for example, from Sodano's own sphere of influence. Such actions win as many friends as enemies.

Cardinal Christoph Schoenborn
Christoph Schoenborn may be too young to be elected pope. It is true that John Paul II was elected at a young age, but it's unlikely that the cardinals would want to have another pontiff rule for a stretch of two or three decades.

Cardinal Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga
Oscar Andres Rodriguez Maradiaga is young and, therefore, not in the forefront of Latin American cardinals who could be elected pope. Of course, being young didn't stop John Paul II from being elected, but it is unlikely that the cardinals would want another 25-year pontificate.

Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re
Giovanni Battista Re has staunchly defended tradition, but he has also been something of a moderate - for example, expressing support for greater decentralization and giving more power to local churches.

 Cardinal Jose Da Cruz Policarpo
Jose Da Cruz Policarpo is not well known because he has spent most of his life working in Portugal. He is, however, evidently popular among the cardinals and this means that he may have a chance at winning - especially if the cardinals wish to elect someone that isn't an "expected" choice by outsiders.

Cardinal Ivan Dias
Ivan Dias is theologically conservative, something which stands in contrast to some of the more unusual views common among India's Catholics.

Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio
Probably the strongest factor working against Bergoglio is the fact that he is a Jesuit. He would be the first Jesuit pope if elected, but there continues to be strong anti-Jesuit feelings within the Catholic church, and even some Jesuits oppose the idea of one of their own rising to the office of pope.

Cardinal Nicolas De Jesus Lopez Rodriguez
Nicolas De Jesus Lopez Rodriguez would likely receive support from various factions of conservative cardinals who are looking for a candidate who will defend traditional theology and orthodox doctrines. Rodriguez would ensure that the Catholic church would not grow more liberal in any key areas.

Cardinal Walter Kasper
Because of his moderate theological views, Walter Kasper has been popular with liberal and progressive Catholics. Because of his support for decentralization in the Vatican hierarchy, he has also gained some support from those who are otherwise conservative.

Cardinal Lubomyr Husar
Lubomyr Husar is theologically moderate. He defends conservative tradition when it comes to matters of doctrine, but coming from an Eastern tradition gives him a perspective interpreted by many as somewhat progressive.

Cardinal Claudio Hummes
Claudio Hummes could be perceived as a good balance between progressive and conservative trends. He started out liberal, became more conservative, yet continues to defend certain progressive positions.

Cardinal Godfried Danneels
Because of Godfried Danneels' progressive views, voting for him to become pope would mean voting for major changes in the Catholic church. Danneels supports changes in many different church positions. He would, for example, try to put more women in positions of responsibility, such as running a congregation of the Roman Curia.

Cardinal Dario Castrillon Hoyos
Dario Castrillon Hoyos, like so much of the clergy in Latin America, has focused a great deal on defending the poor despite his opposition to liberation theology. If the cardinals pick a third world pope, one from Latin America may make the most sense.
Cardinal Francis Arinze

If Francis Arinze is elected pope, he would not be the first African pope, but he would be the first African pope in more than 1,500 years. The prospect of a black pope from Africa has captured the imagination of Catholics and non-Catholics all over the world.
 
2013-02-11 09:02:59 AM

The Voice of Doom: With that quote in mind, it's less of a surprise that this particular pope would step down.


Actually, I kinda think it's a good thing theologically that he's stepping down.  It makes the Papal office more of a regular job than a divinely appointed position.
 
2013-02-11 09:03:15 AM
Pope Benedict XVI resigning to resume film career with Disney as Emperor Palpatine?
 
2013-02-11 09:03:19 AM
Can they write in candidates, like Batman?
 
2013-02-11 09:05:11 AM

Farking Canuck: Maybe this time they'll not pick a nazi.


When picking someone to run your world-wide child rape cult, does it  really matter if they were a Nazi or not?  Haven't you completely given up the moral high-ground at that point?
 
2013-02-11 09:05:22 AM
d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net
 
2013-02-11 09:05:23 AM

rufus-t-firefly: enry: priests are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.

Somehow, I get the feeling you either aren't Catholic or never actually paid attention to how things work in the Catholic Church.


I was Catholic.  I'm Episcopal now.  Episcopals are hired locally, Catholics are assigned by the bishop.
 
2013-02-11 09:05:45 AM

Jake Havechek: Can they write in candidates, like Batman?


I believe Batman is an Episcopalian.
 
2013-02-11 09:06:14 AM
Turns out, he had to resign 'cause they caught him smoking weed.

imontheinternet: [deathandtaxesmag.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 585x340]
good thing he already has a successor lined up.


Why does the Pope have a "Something About Mary" hairstyle?
 
2013-02-11 09:07:17 AM

enry: DamnYankees:

How about not covering up child rape. Is that too much to ask for?

Ahh, I don't think there's much to cover up.  Then again, priests in the Episcopal church are hired by the local congregations rather than assigned by the bishop.


FTFM
 
2013-02-11 09:07:31 AM

elchip: Millennium: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed

If his name is Peter and he's from Rome, I <b>think</b> I'm gonna crap my pants.


I wonder if they would specifically avoid nominating someone with that name for just that reason.
 
2013-02-11 09:08:37 AM
Shadow writer - That was useful.  Also humorous what with the typo and all.


/probe
 
2013-02-11 09:08:47 AM

monoski: Somebody needs to photoshop the pope being all buddy-buddy with Sarah Palin...

Would be cool to see him take her spot on Fox News


He's way too much of a lib'rul for that.
 
2013-02-11 09:09:28 AM
I'm just an American Christian (not really Protestant or Catholic),but I think it's high times we had a Canadian Pope.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit; Wayne, Bobby, and Sid the Kid... Ehmen."

Seriously, though, if there's one country that could produce a guy moderate enough to run the Catholic Church in times like these, it's Canada.
 
2013-02-11 09:09:57 AM
I blame getting a Twitter account.
 
2013-02-11 09:10:07 AM

Shadow writer: May probe helpful in the coming days:


Monsignor Timothy O'Hara
Lives by three principles: Productivity, Prayer and Purification. Deeply committed to the healing arts, and quite liberal about accepting newer, more modern and humane methods of treatment for the mentally ill.
 
2013-02-11 09:10:44 AM
I don't think this was forced - it seems to be a shock. Traditionally, the senile Pope lingered and allowed the Cardinals to pull the strings from behind the throne. Now they have to pick a new Pope, and he's likely to have strong opinions for decades to come (unless they pick another guy with one foot in the grave.)
 
2013-02-11 09:10:54 AM

Marine1: I'm just an American Christian (not really Protestant or Catholic),but I think it's high times we had a Canadian Pope.

"In the name of the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit; Wayne, Bobby, and Sid the Kid... Ehmen."

Seriously, though, if there's one country that could produce a guy moderate enough to run the Catholic Church in times like these, it's Canada.


Well, if there's anyone that would know about speaking an obscure, dead tongue, it would be the Quebecois.
 
2013-02-11 09:12:44 AM

1nsanilicious: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: So now he's an anti-Pope.  And if he ever comes in contact with the new Pope, space-time will be ripped apart.

.

That could actually be a pretty cool anime series. Two Popes with clandestine armies of followers duking it out for supremecy and then it turns out the mysterious shadow govt of non believers is run by Isaac Newton.


There is only one problem with your cunning plan.
 
2013-02-11 09:13:45 AM
If only God's representative on Earth knew someone with the power to heal who listens to prayers from his faithful...
 
2013-02-11 09:13:57 AM

elchip: Millennium: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed

If his name is Peter and he's from Rome, I think I'm gonna crap my pants.


That's highly doubtful. As the esteemed Fr. G. Sarducci pointed out many years ago, the Catholic Church has tried to advance beyond Italians:

To be made a saint in the Catholic Church, you have to have four miracles. That's the rules, you know. It's always been like that that. Four miracles, and to prove it. Well, this Mother Seton -  they could only prove three miracles. But the Pope - he just waived the fourth one. He just waived it! And do you know why? It's because she was American. It's all politics. We got some Italian people, they got forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with three lousy miracles. I understand that two of them was card tricks.
 
2013-02-11 09:15:21 AM
There is nothing HOLY about the papacy and/or the bible.
 
2013-02-11 09:15:44 AM

ur14me: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


Thank you, Simone.
 
2013-02-11 09:16:41 AM

Marisyana: gothelder: Hope there is a cardinal Secola in the running.

/choice of a new generation

An oldie but a goodie.


Recycled

gothelder    2005-04-18 08:54:02 PM it would have to be Secola
 
2013-02-11 09:18:14 AM
So now we have to go through the debates, and primaries again?
 
2013-02-11 09:19:31 AM
Now that he has announced this, I wonder if he thinks it may have been a mistake?
 
2013-02-11 09:20:19 AM

enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.


Also, they ordain their soulless gingers:

www.fredericknewspost.com
 
2013-02-11 09:20:28 AM

rufus-t-firefly: elchip: Millennium: beerbaron: He was always a temp-pope anyway. The choice for next pope will be revealing.

Revealing? I thought next up was supposed to be Peter the Roman, and then the world comes to an end or something like that.

/i keed, i keed

If his name is Peter and he's from Rome, I think I'm gonna crap my pants.

That's highly doubtful. As the esteemed Fr. G. Sarducci pointed out many years ago, the Catholic Church has tried to advance beyond Italians:

To be made a saint in the Catholic Church, you have to have four miracles. That's the rules, you know. It's always been like that that. Four miracles, and to prove it. Well, this Mother Seton -  they could only prove three miracles. But the Pope - he just waived the fourth one. He just waived it! And do you know why? It's because she was American. It's all politics. We got some Italian people, they got forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with three lousy miracles. I understand that two of them was card tricks.


Although it seems that the leading candidate is named Peter Turkson and spends most of his time in Rome as the President of the Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace.

St. Malachy's prophecy ties in nicely to a vision that Pope Pius X was reported to have seen.

In 1909, in the midst of an audience with members of the Franciscan order, he seemed to fall into a trance. Moments passed, then his eyes sprung open and he jumped to his feet. "What I have seen is terrifying!" he cried out. "Will I be the one, or will it be a successor? What is certain is that the Pope will leave Rome and, in leaving the Vatican, he will have to pass over the dead bodies of his priests!" It's uncertain what this vision alluded to, but it is similar in many respects to the reported third prophecy of Fatima. Later, shortly before his death, another vision came to him: "I have seen one of my successors, of the same name, who was fleeing over the bodies of his brethren. He will take refuge in some hiding place; but after a brief respite, he will die a cruel death. Respect for God has disappeared from human hearts. They wish to efface even God's memory. This perversity is nothing less than the beginning of the last days of the world."

It also ties in quite nicely to the Third Secret of Fatima.

Other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious going up a steep mountain, at the top of which there was a big Cross of rough-hewn trunks as of a cork-tree with the bark; before reaching there the Holy Father passed through a big city half in ruins and half trembling with halting step, afflicted with pain and sorrow, he prayed for the souls of the corpses he met on his way; having reached the top of the mountain, on his knees at the foot of the big Cross he was killed by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows at him, and in the same way there died one after another the other Bishops, Priests, men and women Religious, and various lay people of different ranks and positions.

'Scuse me while I crap my pants.
 
2013-02-11 09:20:51 AM
I think it's obvious. He watched the Super Bowl and saw Ray Lewis' interview about how God doesn't let people who do bad things make good tackles or whatever, and he reflected on the things he'd done and felt guilty. So he feels he has to quit to spend more time with his guilt.

/and with your spirit
 
2013-02-11 09:21:03 AM
A black pope would be hilarious.... Italians will go ape shiat.
 
2013-02-11 09:21:43 AM
As my dad said when the pope before JPII died:

"The Pope's too pooped to pop."
 
2013-02-11 09:22:44 AM

Cheesehead_Dave: I blame getting a Twitter account.


To be fair, getting a Twitter account is a sign of senility.
 
2013-02-11 09:26:01 AM

Shadow writer: Cardinal Godfried Danneels
Because of Godfried Danneels' progressive views, voting for him to become pope would mean voting for major changes in the Catholic church. Danneels supports changes in many different church positions. He would, for example, try to put more women in positions of responsibility, such as running a congregation of the Roman Curia.


I would like to see him get it, just for the lulz.
 
2013-02-11 09:26:15 AM
I would guess the front runners are:

Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson (the black guy)
Jorge Mario Bergoglio (the South American)
Marc Oiellet (the Canadian)

Or some Italian guy (take your pick, there's a good half dozen in the running).
 
2013-02-11 09:28:04 AM
Ouellet.
/should have previewed.
 
2013-02-11 09:31:57 AM
As a non-catholic, this seems fascinating to me.
 
2013-02-11 09:32:33 AM

Shadow writer: May probe helpful in the coming days:


That was a pretty good Freudian slip.
 
2013-02-11 09:32:34 AM
What, he's going to spend more time with his family?
 
2013-02-11 09:33:24 AM
These are the days of the open hand
They might just be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars and the choosers

This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses

The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But we'll take our chances
'Cause God's stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned his back and all God's children
Crept out the back door

And it's hard to love, there's so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it's much too much too late
Well maybe we should all be praying for time

These are the days of the empty hand
Oh, you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear twice a year

This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there is over here

So you scream from behind your door
Say what's mine is mine and not yours
I may have too much but I'll take my chances
'Cause God's stopped keeping score
And you cling to the things they sold you
Did you cover your eyes when they told you
That he can't come back
'Cause he has no children to come back for

It's hard to love there's so much to hate
Hanging on to hope when there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it's much too late
So maybe we should all be praying for time

-George Michael
 
2013-02-11 09:33:31 AM

Slaxl: Can anyone tell me when it became "brave" to quit? Quitting used to be something only honorable people did when their position was untenable, or brought scandal to those around them, but it was still very difficult to resign and keep face. There are a few exceptions, government ministers resigning in protest against actions by their own government would qualify, but going "ooh, I feel poorly, I best resign, then I can collect welfare cheques", isn't brave or worthy of respect or admiration like some of the stupid fawning I've seen from journalists who know nothing about him or the church.


When poison detection got better.  Seriously its only been very recently that a pope might actually die of old age. Mental quickness used to be something you needed to stay alive as pope. With modern medicine the current pope could easily live to a hundred allowing the church to be manipulated by the pope's handlers.

At least this way there will be an election.

All that said the timing of this is very strange.
 
2013-02-11 09:33:47 AM

greentea1985: geom_00: I have to get to bed...I work in 8 hours.  But, this is REALLY strange.

In the Catholic Church: The Imperial...er...The Pontiff will be leaving DURING Lent, the most important time in the churches calendar.  2013 has been declared the Year of Faith, AND, World Youth Day 2013, will be held in Rio this year.  This is a VERY strange time for the most powerful man in the church to step down...

Yes. Why didn't he wait until Ordinary Time began again. For him to resign during Lent, it must have been serious.


Not Catholic, but I agree. Resigning during the holiest time of the year? Either he's got one foot in the grave, and he'll be putting the other foot in when he does step down, or there's something else going on.
 
2013-02-11 09:37:44 AM

OtherLittleGuy: enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.

Also, they ordain their soulless gingers:

[www.fredericknewspost.com image 640x581]


Forgive me Father, for I have had impure thoughts.

/she could shake hands with my Bishop, if you know what I mean.
 
2013-02-11 09:38:17 AM

zomega:
Not Catholic, but I agree. Resigning during the holiest time of the year? Either he's got one foot in the grave, and he'll be putting the other foot in when he does step down, or there's something else going on.


It could be. But it could also be that he's just honest enough to admit that he's unable to do the job. I'm not Catholic either, and to be honest I have only a vague notion of what poping is like and while it's not horseback riding or ditch digging, it probably does require a certain level of competency that maybe he feels his age has left him without.
 
2013-02-11 09:42:56 AM
Well... bye!
i411.photobucket.com

/that goes for the rest of us when the world ends soon
 
2013-02-11 09:43:44 AM
Which Papal candidate is Karl Rove's new PAC funding?

Get ready for the attack ads, Vatican City Farkers!
 
2013-02-11 09:43:54 AM

Jorn the Younger: [img58.imageshack.us image 300x225] ?


I was beginning to fear I was the only one who had this thought.
 
2013-02-11 09:44:57 AM

Galvatron Zero: Pope to resign, spend more time with the kids would have been mine...


"Pooped pontiff pulls a Palin"
 
2013-02-11 09:47:19 AM

syrynxx: Well, now they'll obviously just go to the verses in the Bible that define the papacy as an elected office and how that office passes from pope to pope.

Ctrl-F in Bible for "pope"...
0 results found


Catholics don't believe that the Bible is the be-all-and-end-all of doctrine. That's something they have over Evangelicals.
 
2013-02-11 09:48:42 AM

skantea: Pope is coming out now.


Win.
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 09:49:18 AM
i.telegraph.co.uk
 
2013-02-11 09:49:37 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


A scandal bigger then covering-up child rape?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 09:50:37 AM
oh and..

grigr.com
 
2013-02-11 09:51:23 AM

great_tigers: First in600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts. Dnrta.


yeah. 1415... that's a long time.
 
2013-02-11 09:53:02 AM

skullkrusher: great_tigers: First in600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts. Dnrta.

yeah. 1415... that's a long time.


Indeed. For once the newsflash tag is used appropriately. I'm not Catholic or even religious, but in a way this is a pretty big thing in history.
 
2013-02-11 09:53:14 AM

Shadow writer: If Francis Arinze is elected pope, he would not be the first African pope, but he would be the first African pope in more than 1,500 years. The prospect of a black pope from Africa has captured the imagination of Catholics and non-Catholics all over the world.


Christ, can you imagine the resulting butthurt? It would be of biblical proportions.
 
2013-02-11 09:53:54 AM
Since when did pitchers & catchers reporting become such big news?
 
2013-02-11 09:54:17 AM
Well, he's doomed to spend eternity swiping away wasps and hornets.
/obscure
 
2013-02-11 09:54:22 AM

d23: oh and..

[grigr.com image 505x390]


That's still one of my favorite TV moments.

"I'm huge in America."
"Sure are, Sinead. You have a enormous following helped in large part by the millions of Irish-Americans who love seeing someone from the old country do well."
"Watch this."

It isn't often you can pinpoint when a huge star commits career suicide.
 
2013-02-11 09:54:28 AM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


You forgot, PUT SOME ASSHOLES IN PRISON.
 
2013-02-11 09:54:30 AM
fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net
ohpleaseohpleaseohplease!!!!
 
2013-02-11 09:54:39 AM
P

bigwave: [cdn.uproxx.com image 611x444]We Know were Pope Ratzenberger will be hanging out now.


I was watching a movie and my wife and I saw Cliff/Ratzenberger as an extra in it.  A non-speaking extra.  Seriously.  Very sad.
 
2013-02-11 09:56:06 AM

Magorn: maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.

I doubt it.  His role in enabling and covering up the pedophilia scandal as JPII 's head of the Office of Inquisition, which handles things like priestly discipline, and his role in spiriting Cardinal law of Boston out of the US and putting him in a position that made him un-extraditable is well known and was known before his election=which was all but gauranteed since he took advantage of John Paul's Failing health to pack the College of Cardinals hand-picked people.

Though, given that he chose the ruling name of Benedict specifically to comport with the Prophecy of St. Malachy ("glory of Olives".  Olives being the symbol of St. Benedict)   that must mean he things the Apocalypse is upon us, as the prophecy lists only one Pope after "Glory of Olives: of which it says:
In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop].
Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations:
and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed,
and the terrible judge will judge his people.

Happy end of the world everyone!


See, it's scarier when you say it.
 
2013-02-11 09:57:29 AM
interfacetalent.com

They better go for this Pope. She's good at handling scandals.
 
2013-02-11 09:57:50 AM

nekom: skullkrusher: great_tigers: First in600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts. Dnrta.

yeah. 1415... that's a long time.

Indeed. For once the newsflash tag is used appropriately. I'm not Catholic or even religious, but in a way this is a pretty big thing in history.


pretty much. For better or worse, the Catholic Church has shaped Western history and culture for millennia. To have something of such historic rarity happen within it is pretty cool to witness.
 
2013-02-11 09:58:06 AM

skullkrusher: d23: oh and..

[grigr.com image 505x390]

That's still one of my favorite TV moments.

"I'm huge in America."
"Sure are, Sinead. You have a enormous following helped in large part by the millions of Irish-Americans who love seeing someone from the old country do well."
"Watch this."

It isn't often you can pinpoint when a huge star commits career suicide.


Yea, what's funny is if she did that now or in the last 5 years everyone would have agreed.
 
2013-02-11 09:58:18 AM

meat0918: What's the over/under on the Ex Pope getting charged with child rape?


They all do that, it must be something worse.
 
2013-02-11 09:59:21 AM
Maybe they just ran out of root beer.
 
2013-02-11 10:00:27 AM
Dougal Maguire or nobody.
 
2013-02-11 10:01:31 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 10:02:32 AM
It can't be more altar boy scandal - they have shown themselves more than capable of weathering that one.  My first guess would be financial  - someone cooked the books and he's right in the middle of it.
 
2013-02-11 10:02:33 AM

cleveoh: Which Papal candidate is Karl Rove's new PAC funding?

Get ready for the attack ads, Vatican City Farkers!


That would be AWESOME!!

I'd pay to see pope attack ads.
 
2013-02-11 10:02:51 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: skullkrusher: d23: oh and..

[grigr.com image 505x390]

That's still one of my favorite TV moments.

"I'm huge in America."
"Sure are, Sinead. You have a enormous following helped in large part by the millions of Irish-Americans who love seeing someone from the old country do well."
"Watch this."

It isn't often you can pinpoint when a huge star commits career suicide.

Yea, what's funny is if she did that now or in the last 5 years everyone would have agreed.


JP2 was a good bit more popular than Benedict, tis true.
 
2013-02-11 10:03:06 AM
You all read it wrong.  The Pope is re-signing.  $20M, 5 year extension, with a no trade clause.
 
2013-02-11 10:03:34 AM
Can we get Cardinal Law's pathetic ass back in Boston now so we can send him to prison?

/ Bernie and the Bishop of Rome should rot in hell. Sadly though, hell is BS... Ill settle for 35 years of prison rape I guess.
 
2013-02-11 10:03:46 AM
This is hardly surprising.  As Big Daddy Kane once reminded us, Popin' ain't easy.
 
2013-02-11 10:05:01 AM
Our next Pope:
www.sadgeezer.com
 
2013-02-11 10:05:14 AM
img690.imageshack.us

Sorry I'm late.
 
2013-02-11 10:05:19 AM

Slaxl: Can anyone tell me when it became "brave" to quit?


When people who disagree with the incumbent started trying the carrot instead of the stick.
 
2013-02-11 10:06:32 AM
tinfoil-hat maggie:

But what I got out of that is this guy
upload.wikimedia.org

I for one, vote no popes that look like Dick Cheney.
 
2013-02-11 10:07:15 AM

RexTalionis: ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Nazi

You know, I don't know if it's really all that fair to criticize Benedict XVI as a Nazi. He was never a member of the party, and while he was a member of the Hitler Youth, German Law mandates all children above a certain age at the time to be members and it was noted that he was not a particularly willing participant in the Hitler Youth.


A lot of vile shiat was mandatory under Nazi Germany.  Doesn't give you a pass.
 
2013-02-11 10:08:24 AM

aerojockey: Well, he's doomed to spend eternity swiping away wasps and hornets.
/obscure


It's sad that Dante is obscure.

sudo give me more cowbell: [fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net image 485x464]
ohpleaseohpleaseohplease!!!!


Heh...it's probably crossed his mind to see if he could bribe his way in. No more Bunga-Bunga parties as pope, though.
 
2013-02-11 10:08:34 AM

nekom: It could be. But it could also be that he's just honest enough to admit that he's unable to do the job. I'm not Catholic either, and to be honest I have only a vague notion of what poping is like and while it's not horseback riding or ditch digging, it probably does require a certain level of competency that maybe he feels his age has left him without.


The thing is, it isn't supposed to be a "job". It is your life
 
2013-02-11 10:08:47 AM
img9.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-11 10:09:32 AM
So, Space Pope time?
 
2013-02-11 10:10:02 AM

OtherLittleGuy: enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.

Also, they ordain their soulless gingers:

[www.fredericknewspost.com image 640x581]


Never in a million years would I expect to see one of my ministers pictured on Fark.
 
2013-02-11 10:10:20 AM

skullkrusher:
pretty much. For better or worse, the Catholic Church has shaped Western history and culture for millennia. To have something of such historic rarity happen within it is pretty cool to witness.


I guess I'm just a fan of the unusual. I was hoping for an electoral tie, even though it would have meant a Romney win which I did not support, but just for the sake of something weird. I always hope that in an NFL game there will be a drop kick, or a record breaking field goal. So that's why I also sincerely hope that the next pope will be black. Or have a wooden leg or something. Why? I don't know, for the lulz?
 
2013-02-11 10:10:40 AM
It's good to see him going out on top, instead of lingering on for years, defending his title in rigged pay-per-view matches..
 
2013-02-11 10:11:01 AM
Maybe it's related to the money laundering scandal, and the Italian's decision to start taxing papal properties (outside Vatican city, of course)
 
2013-02-11 10:11:09 AM
We all know that the real reason is the string of anti-Catholic jokes in last night's episode of Downton Abbey.

/Still laughing at the "gymnastic display"...
 
2013-02-11 10:12:25 AM
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
 
2013-02-11 10:12:49 AM

skullkrusher: tinfoil-hat maggie: skullkrusher: d23: oh and..

[grigr.com image 505x390]

That's still one of my favorite TV moments.

"I'm huge in America."
"Sure are, Sinead. You have a enormous following helped in large part by the millions of Irish-Americans who love seeing someone from the old country do well."
"Watch this."

It isn't often you can pinpoint when a huge star commits career suicide.

Yea, what's funny is if she did that now or in the last 5 years everyone would have agreed.

JP2 was a good bit more popular than Benedict, tis true.


Uh, so was the Catholic Church. Unfortunately her reasoning was spot on.
 
2013-02-11 10:13:18 AM
Benedict was just tired of shiatting in the woods.
 
2013-02-11 10:14:35 AM
What are they serving for breakfast in the Vatican this morning?

Ex-Benedict!
 
2013-02-11 10:14:47 AM

skankboy: tinfoil-hat maggie:

But what I got out of that is this guy
[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x365]

I for one, vote no popes that look like Dick Cheney.


Clearly he looks much more like my Uncle Frank.
 
2013-02-11 10:15:50 AM
This just in, Charlie Sheen has asked that the Pope call him so that he can help him get through this difficult time.
 
2013-02-11 10:15:51 AM
He wus too late!

lparchive.org
 
2013-02-11 10:16:35 AM

nekom: skullkrusher:
pretty much. For better or worse, the Catholic Church has shaped Western history and culture for millennia. To have something of such historic rarity happen within it is pretty cool to witness.

I guess I'm just a fan of the unusual. I was hoping for an electoral tie, even though it would have meant a Romney win which I did not support, but just for the sake of something weird. I always hope that in an NFL game there will be a drop kick, or a record breaking field goal. So that's why I also sincerely hope that the next pope will be black. Or have a wooden leg or something. Why? I don't know, for the lulz?


hehe I hear ya
 
2013-02-11 10:18:04 AM

pag1107: OtherLittleGuy: enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.

Also, they ordain their soulless gingers:

[www.fredericknewspost.com image 640x581]

Never in a million years would I expect to see one of my ministers pictured on Fark.


your minister is cute

/is that a sin?
 
2013-02-11 10:18:21 AM
I say he'll be black. They're not going to let the US be the only ones to elect an infallible black guy.

/religion, politics, whatevs
 
2013-02-11 10:18:42 AM

ur14me: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


26.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 10:19:08 AM

skankboy: tinfoil-hat maggie:

But what I got out of that is this guy
[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x365]

I for one, vote no popes that look like Dick Cheney.


Sorry, the next pope destroys Rome at least.
 
2013-02-11 10:19:18 AM

skullkrusher: your minister is cute

/is that a sin?


No, but what I'm doing is.
 
2013-02-11 10:20:42 AM

pag1107: OtherLittleGuy: enry: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

Check out the Episcopal Church (or ELCA as another poster mentioned). Episcopal has all that and the service is pretty close to Mass (no latin tho).

Much of the congregation I'm in was originally Catholic, including the priest.

Also offers contraception services on its employees health care.

Also, they ordain their soulless gingers:

[www.fredericknewspost.com image 640x581]

Never in a million years would I expect to see one of my ministers pictured on Fark.


Well, since you know her, you have to be the one to explain her obligation to the Fark community re:BIE.
 
2013-02-11 10:21:21 AM
Pope supposedly claimed he is stepping down to make time for his grandchildren.
 
2013-02-11 10:21:45 AM
This just means that NCAA sanctions are coming. He'll do a stint in the NFL and then come back to another college program once the show cause penalty is over
 
2013-02-11 10:24:36 AM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: There can be only one.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 200x235]


he's can't be the pope.  he's muslim.
 
2013-02-11 10:25:01 AM

Rich Cream: skullkrusher: your minister is cute

/is that a sin?

No, but what I'm doing is.


Not honoring thy father and mother? Using the Lord's Name in vain? Don't leave me hanging.
 
2013-02-11 10:25:34 AM
We have nazi, pedophile, undead, and Father Guido Sarducci covered. This thread could die in peace.
 
2013-02-11 10:27:09 AM
I thought this would be many more years off... I'm interested to see where they're going, what they double-down on.

Are they going to go conservative and draw in more Eastern Europeans, Latin America, and South America; or do they want to move ever so slightly to the left to appease wealthier Westerners? A non-white pope would be fascinating as well. There's also the prophecy. How they handle the selection and naming will be interesting. Will they give in to it or try to go another way?

/I needed a hobby after the U.S. elections ended.
 
2013-02-11 10:27:47 AM

BeesNuts: Magorn: maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.

I doubt it.  His role in enabling and covering up the pedophilia scandal as JPII 's head of the Office of Inquisition, which handles things like priestly discipline, and his role in spiriting Cardinal law of Boston out of the US and putting him in a position that made him un-extraditable is well known and was known before his election=which was all but gauranteed since he took advantage of John Paul's Failing health to pack the College of Cardinals hand-picked people.

Though, given that he chose the ruling name of Benedict specifically to comport with the Prophecy of St. Malachy ("glory of Olives".  Olives being the symbol of St. Benedict)   that must mean he things the Apocalypse is upon us, as the prophecy lists only one Pope after "Glory of Olives: of which it says:
In the extreme persecution of the Holy Roman Church, there will sit [i.e., as bishop].
Peter the Roman, who will pasture his sheep in many tribulations:
and when these things are finished, the city of seven hills will be destroyed,
and the terrible judge will judge his people.

Happy end of the world everyone!

See, it's scarier when you say it.


Skeptic to the rescue!  Malachy's "prophecy" was a list of 112 short phrases in no particular order.  People have taken these 112 latin phrases and affixed them to various popes.  Basically, it's as if John Edwards entered a room of 112 people and said, "I'm sensing someone was born near a river."

Doesn't really remove unease about the next pope being the 112th of 112.  So, everybody freak out!
 
2013-02-11 10:27:58 AM
The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic
 
2013-02-11 10:28:23 AM

R.A.Danny: We have nazi, pedophile, undead, and Father Guido Sarducci covered. This thread could die in peace.


Not quite. I haven't seen anyone spin this into bad news for Obama just yet.
 
2013-02-11 10:29:13 AM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


United Protestantism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Church_of_Canada
 
2013-02-11 10:29:39 AM

The Irresponsible Captain: There's also the prophecy.


Is the new pop supposed to bring balance to the force?
 
2013-02-11 10:32:42 AM

great_tigers: First in600 years I just heard on the radio. That is nuts.


N-v-t-s, nuts!
 
2013-02-11 10:33:49 AM
Where do I contribute to my favorite papal candidate's re-election fund? Do they have superPACs?
 
2013-02-11 10:35:01 AM

skullkrusher: Don't leave me hanging.


It's anything but hanging. OH!
 
2013-02-11 10:35:13 AM

nekom: R.A.Danny: We have nazi, pedophile, undead, and Father Guido Sarducci covered. This thread could die in peace.

Not quite. I haven't seen anyone spin this into bad news for Obama just yet.


This is bad news. For Santorum.
 
2013-02-11 10:37:33 AM

Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic


Maybe next time, oh, wait ; )
 
2013-02-11 10:38:09 AM
2...4...6...8...time to transubstantiate!

http://www.youtube.com/embed/pvhYqeGp_Do?rel=0
 
2013-02-11 10:38:27 AM

Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic


Good pick. Not only are they stylishly dressed, they are very family-oriented.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-11 10:41:44 AM
Can't say he'll be missed.  He was terrible at his job, unless you count pissing off other religions as a win.
 
2013-02-11 10:42:27 AM

Inflatable Rhetoric: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

You forgot, PUT SOME ASSHOLES IN PRISON.


O.K. since it's now been mentioned like ten times.

5.Pedophiles and those who hide their crimes should be removed from their positions, and any and all evidence of their crimes handed over to local authorities

Happy?
 
2013-02-11 10:43:55 AM

blazemongr: Where do I contribute to my favorite papal candidate's re-election fund? Do they have superPACs?


Use Papal PayPal.
 
2013-02-11 10:44:05 AM

blazemongr: Where do I contribute to my favorite papal candidate's re-election fund? Do they have superPACs?


SuperPax.
 
2013-02-11 10:45:31 AM

Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic




Brazil?

I'll never forget watching Fox News as the white smoke was released for Benny. Some lady just started to bounce up and down and cry a little. So of course the camera zoomed in and the reporter asked if why she was so happy and who she thought the new Pope would be. Well she was a life long Catholic and was just there for the day and wanted to see Vatican City. Then she started handicapping the front runners by region, population of country, and percentage of Catholics to non Catholics. Her analysis was so complete and factual that when they cut back to the talking head and church officials all they could do was nod their heads and say she was right.

They need to find that lady and get her on the TV.
 
2013-02-11 10:45:57 AM
images1.wikia.nocookie.net

/If he can run a prison...
//Pope Henry, just swap first/last name
///Too lazy to shop a pope's hat on him
 
2013-02-11 10:46:15 AM

Mr.Tangent: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?

What could be worse than we already know?


I'm afraid to even think about it, but I fear that this is exactly why he's stepping aside.  and if it isn't that, it's the finances and banking issues.
 
2013-02-11 10:46:42 AM
German surrenders
 
2013-02-11 10:46:52 AM

Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic


Nah, the Catholic Church is a very Euro-centric group much like the International Olympic Comittee and FIFA. In that they may do a few goodwill gestures, but when it comes to leadership, they stick with the status quo.

The day they nominate a non-European pope is the day that I start to believe that the Catholic Church is ditching the status quo and adapting to modern times.
 
2013-02-11 10:46:59 AM

Karma Curmudgeon: blazemongr: Where do I contribute to my favorite papal candidate's re-election fund? Do they have superPACs?

SuperPax.


+1
 
2013-02-11 10:47:50 AM
Those who can, do. Those who can't, Pope.
 
2013-02-11 10:48:23 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can't say he'll be missed.  He was terrible at his job, unless you count pissing off other religions as a win.


Well there is the one true church all the rest is labeled as "other". This is really new age radical thinking less than a hundred years ago it was the one true church and devil worshipers.
 
2013-02-11 10:48:50 AM
So long Papa Razi, we hardly got to know ya.
 
2013-02-11 10:50:11 AM
I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.
 
2013-02-11 10:51:22 AM

MNguy: I'd be willing to bet that this time around it'll happen.


thanks. I just wasn't clear on your reasoning, but that about covers it! :-)

imontheinternet: [deathandtaxesmag.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 585x340]
good thing he already has a successor lined up.


wow, the strangest image appears when one uses the 'Magic Eye' stereogram technique on that... I'm left eyed, so the pope is dominant. Wonder if the opposite is true in right eyed people.?
 
2013-02-11 10:53:05 AM

ph0rk: I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.


Liberal and conservative are really relative terms. I wouldn't look for the next pope to come out in favor of gay marriage or anything, but it's conceivable that the new guy might be somewhat more liberal in some areas.
 
2013-02-11 10:55:12 AM
Good riddance. I am no Catholic, but anyone who actively protects those that rape and molest children should be expedited to their rightful place, that being hell, as he believes in such a place. I wonder when he gets to make his trip there.
 
2013-02-11 10:55:29 AM

ur14me: Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


The Church can take care of this.  All they have to do is drive the popemobile home backwards.
 
2013-02-11 10:55:38 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can't say he'll be missed.  He was terrible at his job, unless you count pissing off other religions as a win.


What was his job? Again, what does the Pope do?
 
2013-02-11 10:56:36 AM

maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.

 
2013-02-11 10:57:28 AM

maddogdelta: I guess there's new information coming out about how he enabled child rape.


lol

the next pope will be a straight white man
the next pope will be a younger man
the next pope will secretly be a woman

I am so glad that he waited until after Obama's re-election!!

/LOL
 
2013-02-11 10:58:11 AM

nekom: ph0rk: I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.

Liberal and conservative are really relative terms. I wouldn't look for the next pope to come out in favor of gay marriage or anything, but it's conceivable that the new guy might be somewhat more liberal in some areas.


I'd be happy with one as liberal as John Paul II.

Ideally, one that pushes to relax the celibacy bullshiat.

At very least, one that won't constantly harp about abortion and birth control in an ill-informed manner, like Ratz.
 
2013-02-11 10:58:20 AM

Mugato: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can't say he'll be missed.  He was terrible at his job, unless you count pissing off other religions as a win.

What was his job? Again, what does the Pope do?


He controls the Vatican launch codes.
 
2013-02-11 10:58:49 AM

nekom: ph0rk: I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.

Liberal and conservative are really relative terms. I wouldn't look for the next pope to come out in favor of gay marriage or anything, but it's conceivable that the new guy might be somewhat more liberal in some areas.


like social justice. Popes have been flaming pinkos in that regard for decades. Except the actual pinko part.
 
2013-02-11 10:59:48 AM
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality
5.Pedophiles and those who hide their crimes should be removed from their positions, and any and all evidence of their crimes handed over to local authorities


5 things which never, ever happen in the catholic church. Ever.
The GOP will nominate a poor, black, gay woman before this happens.
 
2013-02-11 11:00:12 AM

Mr.Tangent: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?

What could be worse than we already know?


He could be a furry.
 
2013-02-11 11:00:26 AM

ph0rk: I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.


Define "liberal".

I guess you could call the Jesuits "liberal"... they're pretty big into education and reason. Personally, that's who I'd like to see, but I'm not Catholic... so...
 
2013-02-11 11:00:57 AM
have they ever said why the most relgious guy on earth is afraid of bullets? surely god will protect him, or it would be gods will if he got shot
 
2013-02-11 11:01:48 AM

punishmentforshoplifting: Wait...can he do that?


Sure. It's an elected position after all; The Popes claim they're god's representative on Earth, but they don't pretend to be divinely chosen. However, that's not as potentially funny so;

Oh, I get it; so when he doesn't want the job anymore suddenly that whole "the Church is infallible" thing goes out the window. I see how it is; looks like the rules say whatever the guys making them want them too. Really Surprising, Benny; reeeaaal surprising *eye-roll*.
 
2013-02-11 11:02:03 AM
I say it's time for a black, lesbian, left-handed Pope.

It's probably too soon to ask for a Muslim or an atheist.
 
2013-02-11 11:02:55 AM

Lionel Mandrake: I say it's time for a black, lesbian, left-handed Pope.

It's probably too soon to ask for a Muslim or an atheist.


Never too soon to ask for a Jew.

/Jewish Pope
//Holy crap (literally), that would be fun
 
2013-02-11 11:03:05 AM
This year, the vatican will ban all trouble making teenagers from the premisis lest the new pope could be this:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 11:03:56 AM

tbhouston: have they ever said why the most relgious guy on earth is afraid of bullets? surely god will protect him, or it would be gods will if he got shot


God created the entire universe, and surrounding yourself with the part of God's creation that is bulletproof  is just good sense.
 
2013-02-11 11:04:31 AM

skullkrusher:
like social justice. Popes have been flaming pinkos in that regard for decades. Except the actual pinko part.


Kinda. "When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." Ok that's not from a pope, but an archbishop. I've heard Catholicism indicted as one of the reason there are so many left wing rebel groups in South and central America. If you actually try to live the way Jesus taught, it does tend to lend itself to a lot of left wing thinking.
 
2013-02-11 11:04:39 AM

gadian: I bet it's nothing to do with any sex scandals though.  With an organization as large as the Catholic church with centuries of abusing kids behind them, I really don't think it's a "Fire the Pope" sort of problem.  Corporate hostile takeover, I could see that, though.


Maybe the Pastafarians are finally making their move.  After all, it IS Italy.
 
2013-02-11 11:05:16 AM
Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"
 
2013-02-11 11:06:15 AM

Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.


My money is on "wants to influence the next choice" along with a touch of your post. Good riddance.

PJPII was flawed as hell to be sure but the importance he put on social justice kept me in the church through HS. Only thing that did, so I suppose thanks for the push out, Ratzinger.
 
2013-02-11 11:06:47 AM
We need a gay Mexican atheist as a Pope.
 
2013-02-11 11:06:57 AM

AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"


I would watch that.
 
2013-02-11 11:07:06 AM

nekom: skullkrusher:
like social justice. Popes have been flaming pinkos in that regard for decades. Except the actual pinko part.

Kinda. "When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist." Ok that's not from a pope, but an archbishop. I've heard Catholicism indicted as one of the reason there are so many left wing rebel groups in South and central America. If you actually try to live the way Jesus taught, it does tend to lend itself to a lot of left wing thinking.


I'd imagine outright kleptocracy's have something to do with it too :)
 
2013-02-11 11:07:20 AM

libranoelrose: There is no way his next holiness could be more photoshop ready.

This is a sad day for all of us.


Indeed.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-11 11:07:47 AM

Mrtraveler01: Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic

Nah, the Catholic Church is a very Euro-centric group much like the International Olympic Comittee and FIFA. In that they may do a few goodwill gestures, but when it comes to leadership, they stick with the status quo.

The day they nominate a non-European pope is the day that I start to believe that the Catholic Church is ditching the status quo and adapting to modern times.


I'd argue the opposite. Embracing the developing world and their... less modern values would signal a continuation of the conservative policies and renaissance that began with Benny's appointment. Even at the time, he was widely viewed as a "caretaker" pope who would obviously not be around for long, but would roll back some of JP2's more "tolerant" policies. I remember Benedict speaking about "culling the herd" and that if modern Catholics weren't willing to return to a more conservative time in the Church (pre-Vatican II, basically), well, then... Fark them, and god bless.

South America and Africa, IIRC, are the only parts of the world where the church is showing signs of growth. With so much bad press in Europe and North America recently, the developing world is the only place the church can turn and see the flock growing. Some would say taking advantage of less savvy populations is how the Church buttered their bread to begin with. Another European pope, while exciting to the diehards in the flock, won't do much to grow the church's influence anywhere.

But I say this all as a mostly disinterested outside observer. I was raised pretty seriously catholic and still consider myself a "cultural catholic," but I long ago left behind the dogma, let alone the reprehensible organizational behavior we all know about.
 
2013-02-11 11:07:49 AM

Texas Gabe: Pay very close attention to what happens in the world in the shadow of this news. Watch the news that gets buried on the back pages while everyone is focusing on this. This could in fact be a massive purposeful distraction.

/conspiracy


Well, between this and the Dorner thing..
 
2013-02-11 11:08:27 AM

Lord of Allusions: Maybe after JP2, the Church is like, "Okay, we aren't going through that again. If you start feeling bad just resign."


I don't know why exactly, but some how your post reminded me of the  Vatican Rag.
 
2013-02-11 11:08:58 AM
Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.
 
2013-02-11 11:08:58 AM
I heard he tested positive for PED's & is retiring  instead of serving a 50 Mass suspension.

This probably ends his chances of being elected to Poperstown.
 
2013-02-11 11:10:00 AM

AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"


C'mon now, we all know HHH will find a way to make himself the Pope.  After all, HE IS-AH THE GAME-AH
 
2013-02-11 11:10:43 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.


??  What, Darth Benedict was their hero, I presume?
 
2013-02-11 11:11:44 AM

Heron: The Popes claim they're god's representative on Earth,


facepalm.jpg
 
2013-02-11 11:12:41 AM

Mugato: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Can't say he'll be missed.  He was terrible at his job, unless you count pissing off other religions as a win.

What was his job? Again, what does the Pope do?


He leads the Catholic Church. Did you not RTFA?
 
2013-02-11 11:13:37 AM
i.imgur.com

The next pope, or every pope?
 
2013-02-11 11:14:09 AM

BigBooper: Back pages? There are back pages on the internet? What have I been missing?

/NOTHING can be buried in the internet age


The Straight Dope:  How can I access the deep, dark Web?
 
2013-02-11 11:14:41 AM
i227.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 11:15:34 AM
So basically he ragequit?.
 
2013-02-11 11:16:09 AM

skullkrusher: nekom: ph0rk: I guess it would be pretty futile to hope for a liberal pontiff.

Liberal and conservative are really relative terms. I wouldn't look for the next pope to come out in favor of gay marriage or anything, but it's conceivable that the new guy might be somewhat more liberal in some areas.

like social justice. Popes have been flaming pinkos in that regard for decades. Except the actual pinko part.


I think feminists, gay-rights activists, atheists, and those fighting to get the Church to recognize its role in various child molestation cases would disagree with you on that one. For certain values of social justice, certain sectors of the Church have been good, but even then, as in the instance of liberation theology in South America, the Papacy and its ultramontane supporters actively condoned the killing and persecution of those friars, priests, and nuns most concerned with social justice rather than risk their connection to the powerful for the sake of a moral stand. The only moral stands the Papacy takes are those it feels won't hurt it to take; it's laudable that Popes are still willing to condemn stuff like Western militarism and US gun and execution culture, and equally so that they speak well of universal health care and redistributionist tax policy, but when do they ever put anywhere near the energy into promoting those stances that they frequently sink into anti-choice, anti-woman initiatives? How many Bishops have ever railed from the pulpit that a Catholic who votes for a pro-execution governor doesn't deserve communion, as many frequently have done regarding Catholics who vote Democrat over the years?
 
2013-02-11 11:17:05 AM

StrangeQ: Debeo Summa Credo: amquelbettamin: Hmmm. If this had happened a year ago we all wouldn't have had to relearn the more accurate translation if the Nicene Creed.

Good point. Can we go back to "and also with you" instead of this "with your spirit" nonsense?

Wait, what?  I haven't been to church in quite a while (before cell phones and custom ring tones were uniquitous, so the Justin Bieber comment earlier was amusing), so when did this change?  And what, did the priests just come out one day and say "Okay, so before when I said 'Peace be with you' and you responded with 'and also with you' we were apparently doing everything all wrong.  The proper response will now be 'with your spirit'.  Sorry about any relatives that are now burning in the pits of hell because we had the wording wrong before."?


Yeah, they changed alot. Many of the old prayers and responses changed, which is a pain in the ass. But on the plus side, for the communion host you now get your choice off double stuff Oreo or coconut macaroon. You should check it out.
 
2013-02-11 11:17:11 AM

Serious Black: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.

Probably child rape enabling.

/lame-ass headline, Farkmin


Or caught inflagrante with his male lover.
 
2013-02-11 11:17:52 AM

namatad: 1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality
5.Pedophiles and those who hide their crimes should be removed from their positions, and any and all evidence of their crimes handed over to local authorities

5 things which never, ever happen in the catholic church. Ever.
The GOP will nominate a poor, black, gay woman before this happens.


There are married Priests in the Church today.  Married before they became Priests especially in third world countries.   You can't marry afterwards.  So I could see this as changing because it is a "discipline" not a fundamental tenet.

I think the Church will need to make one fundamental change (for new priests) and this rule would be the most likely candidate because that would not conflict with the pillars of the religion.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 11:20:07 AM

bluorangefyre: Well... bye!
[i411.photobucket.com image 300x170]

/that goes for the rest of us when the world ends soon


I was SO hoping to see this in the thread.
 
2013-02-11 11:20:15 AM
If the church wants to reach new heights, the new pope should take the name Hilarious II.  I'd think about converting back to the RCC.
 
2013-02-11 11:22:08 AM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.


You forgot
6. Liberation theology

Honestly, things were going pretty well with the Church until  the late 1970s. 1962-1978 was a kind of Golden Age --- until the old guard panicked and fought back against all the progress that was being made.
 
2013-02-11 11:22:41 AM

namatad: 1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality
5.Pedophiles and those who hide their crimes should be removed from their positions, and any and all evidence of their crimes handed over to local authorities

5 things which never, ever happen in the catholic church. Ever.
The GOP will nominate a poor, black, gay woman before this happens.


There are married Priests with kids in the Catholic Church right now.
 
2013-02-11 11:24:10 AM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ecmoRandomNumbers: Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.

??  What, Darth Benedict was their hero, I presume?


Hi, I'm the Catholic Infallibility Doctrine. Have we met?
 
2013-02-11 11:24:24 AM

Pontious Pilates: Mrtraveler01: Pontious Pilates: The new Pope will be from the southern hemisphere, mark my words. It's the only part of the world left where the Church has any ground to gain.

/recovering catholic

Nah, the Catholic Church is a very Euro-centric group much like the International Olympic Comittee and FIFA. In that they may do a few goodwill gestures, but when it comes to leadership, they stick with the status quo.

The day they nominate a non-European pope is the day that I start to believe that the Catholic Church is ditching the status quo and adapting to modern times.

I'd argue the opposite. Embracing the developing world and their... less modern values would signal a continuation of the conservative policies and renaissance that began with Benny's appointment. Even at the time, he was widely viewed as a "caretaker" pope who would obviously not be around for long, but would roll back some of JP2's more "tolerant" policies. I remember Benedict speaking about "culling the herd" and that if modern Catholics weren't willing to return to a more conservative time in the Church (pre-Vatican II, basically), well, then... Fark them, and god bless.

South America and Africa, IIRC, are the only parts of the world where the church is showing signs of growth. With so much bad press in Europe and North America recently, the developing world is the only place the church can turn and see the flock growing. Some would say taking advantage of less savvy populations is how the Church buttered their bread to begin with. Another European pope, while exciting to the diehards in the flock, won't do much to grow the church's influence anywhere.

But I say this all as a mostly disinterested outside observer. I was raised pretty seriously catholic and still consider myself a "cultural catholic," but I long ago left behind the dogma, let alone the reprehensible organizational behavior we all know about.


I think they could recover the West if they went with a Jesuit or with an outsider.

Most of the guys who are in there now are at least in some way connected with the recent pedophilia scandal. They need someone who can both show a clean record in relation to those atrocities AND appeal to the more reason-centered West.
 
2013-02-11 11:28:04 AM

naughtyrev: AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"

I would watch that.


They could make it something like

(turn your volume down, the video itself may be a bit loud)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1T9P5HV_ao&hd=1
 
2013-02-11 11:29:16 AM
Any catholic male can be elected pope.

Gear up the campaign bus. I'm throwing my mitre into the papal ring and I'm going to be the next pontiff
 
2013-02-11 11:30:23 AM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Grand_Moff_Joseph: ecmoRandomNumbers: Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.

??  What, Darth Benedict was their hero, I presume?

Hi, I'm the Catholic Infallibility Doctrine. Have we met?


Not everything the Pope says/does is considered infallible. They have to kind of invoke the infallibility for certain declarations.
 
2013-02-11 11:30:40 AM

professor_tom: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 224x406]

The next Pope?


3.bp.blogspot.com
Could do worse.
 
2013-02-11 11:31:14 AM
Fark the pope.
 
2013-02-11 11:31:35 AM

parahaps: ecmoRandomNumbers: Grand_Moff_Joseph: ecmoRandomNumbers: Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.

??  What, Darth Benedict was their hero, I presume?

Hi, I'm the Catholic Infallibility Doctrine. Have we met?

Not everything the Pope says/does is considered infallible. They have to kind of invoke the infallibility for certain declarations.


That is, legitimately, retarded.

"hi, I'm infallible but only when I say I am."
 
2013-02-11 11:33:19 AM

parahaps: ecmoRandomNumbers: Grand_Moff_Joseph: ecmoRandomNumbers: Holy Shiat! I have two VERY Catholic sisters who are in fits on Facebook right now. I'm trying my hardest not to mock them. They're in FITS. I seriously think I'm going to have to sit on my own hands, just to spare their feelings today.

??  What, Darth Benedict was their hero, I presume?

Hi, I'm the Catholic Infallibility Doctrine. Have we met?

Not everything the Pope says/does is considered infallible. They have to kind of invoke the infallibility for certain declarations.


Do they have line-item infallibility? Can the pope issue 35 commands or so and say these 3 are infallible? Or does the whole thing get covered?
 
2013-02-11 11:33:23 AM
My guess is that his health issue is that he's impopent.
 
2013-02-11 11:33:52 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: xanadian: Can't read this thread without this playing in the background...

There is a reason I have come to love you : )


The more you tighten your grip, the more dioceses will slip through your fingers.
 
2013-02-11 11:35:51 AM

cameroncrazy1984: That is, legitimately, retarded.

"hi, I'm infallible but only when I say I am."


Well, it's essential to prevent stray utterances from becoming dogma. Basically the doctrine of papal infallability amounts to "God's a nice enough fella that he won't let me fark this up when it's really important." It's not "I'm the Pope, God bless me, and thus never wrong."
 
2013-02-11 11:37:26 AM

incendi: cameroncrazy1984: That is, legitimately, retarded.

"hi, I'm infallible but only when I say I am."

Well, it's essential to prevent stray utterances from becoming dogma. Basically the doctrine of papal infallability amounts to "God's a nice enough fella that he won't let me fark this up when it's really important." It's not "I'm the Pope, God bless me, and thus never wrong."


Maybe it's just my atheism talking but that still sounds ridiculous. "This can't be wrong because God wouldn't let me be wrong on such a weighty issue."

Plus, a lot of popes have been wrong about a lot of big things.
 
2013-02-11 11:37:30 AM

poorcku: Heron: The Popes claim they're god's representative on Earth,

facepalm.jpg


They don't say it in so many words, but it's what everything they do say amounts to. The nonsense about Peter, the lies about Constantine "selling" them the Empire, the enthronement ceremony, the asserted primacy of the Church in worldly affairs, the asserted divine nature of the Church as "The Body of Christ"; you can call a shovel a pole-mounted excavation device but it's still a shovel regardless of your rhetoric. Similarly, you can call yourself the "Heir to Peter", "the Head of the Church", "The Agent of Christ ("Agent" is what Vicar Means)", and the "Bridge to God (Pontiff means "Bridge-builder")" all you want; what it amounts to is saying god speaks to you and you speak for god to humanity.
 
2013-02-11 11:38:33 AM

BarkingUnicorn: RexTalionis: He's only following the example of his illustrious predecessor, Benedict IX.

So he's going to sell the Papacy and return to hold it three times?


I can't wait for Pope Blagojevich I
 
2013-02-11 11:40:40 AM

cameroncrazy1984: Maybe it's just my atheism talking but that still sounds ridiculous. "This can't be wrong because God wouldn't let me be wrong on such a weighty issue."

Plus, a lot of popes have been wrong about a lot of big things.


Yeah, it's not without it's issues, especially since a couple of popes were excommunicated for heresy. There's a few other routes for the infallibility of the church as well, but it boils down to the same thing, a faith that God won't let them screw it up.

/also an atheist, now.
 
2013-02-11 11:40:43 AM
www.planetmadison.com
 
2013-02-11 11:44:37 AM
After the 2008 election I took the steps to leave the Catholic church, and joined the Episcopal Church. It is so comfortable here. Everyone is treated equally here. Women, men, gay, straight, young, old, you name it. Ginger priests, our gay priest married his long time love, they are adopting now, we are so happy for them. The whole choir turned out for the wedding, along with 3 bishops.

What is sad is that JP2 packed the college with conservative Cardinals, so the next Pope will be just as conservative, if not more so. The church will not change, there will be no women priests, no married priests, it will be like the Republican party, with a Teaparty fringe leading the way. Women who stay have Stockholm syndrome. Gays who stay, I can't answer for them. I have no idea. But the Episcopal Church is a good home for those who like a warm place with structure, and love.
 
2013-02-11 11:45:53 AM

illannoyin: You may very well think that. I couldn't possibly comment.

/Too bad father Ted is out of the running
//It's time for an Irish pope
///I could really care less
\Jew


That would be an ecumenical matter
 
2013-02-11 11:49:05 AM
They could get a swedish pope...

upload.wikimedia.org
lutefisk at mass for everybody!
 
2013-02-11 11:49:26 AM
WOW. O_O
 
2013-02-11 11:51:12 AM
www.youdopia.com

/hot
/in before thread lock!
 
2013-02-11 11:52:33 AM
Must...resist...temptation...to post....a..."who gives a shart" post
 
2013-02-11 11:56:09 AM

ciberido: tinfoil-hat maggie: xanadian: Can't read this thread without this playing in the background...

There is a reason I have come to love you : )

The more you tighten your grip, the more dioceses will slip through your fingers.


Don't worry you're on my official stalking list and I love you as well, but yea ; )

/Okay not really but... um ...well... kicks gravel.
 
2013-02-11 11:56:23 AM
Considering...

Considering...

Considering...

Considering...

Nope. I still can't bring myself to give a flying shiat.
 
2013-02-11 11:58:18 AM

TommyDeuce: BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church

So, basically ELCA Lutheran (as long as you aren't looking for use of Latin in service)


Naw, if the Roman Catholics and a branch of Lutherans are going to unite, the Lutherans will be Missouri or Wisconsin Synod.
 
2013-02-11 11:58:36 AM
Headline I read: Poe to resign Feb. 28, says he's too infirm

/shudders
//Too in firm? Just stop doing the youngest ones!
 
2013-02-11 12:00:45 PM

Marine1: Lionel Mandrake: I say it's time for a black, lesbian, left-handed Pope.

It's probably too soon to ask for a Muslim or an atheist.

Never too soon to ask for a Jew.

/Jewish Pope
//Holy crap (literally), that would be fun


Not that new. The first one was.

/and a hot-tempered angler as well.
 
2013-02-11 12:01:55 PM
The Holy See said if I can get 2 million Facebook likes, they'll make me Pope. Please like & share!!!
 
2013-02-11 12:02:07 PM

Zorkthemadman: Scandal? Come on, it's not like he's a Nazi or something..


Hello, sailor!
 
2013-02-11 12:02:40 PM

WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.


i.imgur.com  prblim?
 
2013-02-11 12:06:49 PM

LineNoise: indylaw: What will the new pope be called? I find it hard to believe that all the good names have been taken. Biggus Dicus, Pontifex Maximus!

Or maybe Cletus II for the redneck vote.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

St Malachy says expect a run on tinfoil from the nutters.


Maggie took all of mine :(
 
2013-02-11 12:09:44 PM
More chicken feed for the conspiracy nutters!

/Emperor Palpatine will be missed
//not really
 
2013-02-11 12:09:59 PM
"Papal" is one of those words that sounds dirty but isn't, like "uvula"...
 
2013-02-11 12:12:29 PM

naughtyrev: AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"

I would watch that.


Seconded. Would it be a work, though, or a shoot?
 
2013-02-11 12:14:20 PM

zomega: naughtyrev: AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"

I would watch that.

Seconded. Would it be a work, though, or a shoot?


if you're going to do it, do it right - make it a shoot, with no tape delay, and verbal pipe bombs galore.
 
2013-02-11 12:15:49 PM

SultanofSchwing: WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.

[i.imgur.com image 225x225]  prblim?


no way.  Even for the Vatican hardliners, Dolan is far too polarizing.  there would literally be a PR shiat-storm if they did that.
 
2013-02-11 12:15:59 PM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


They have that.  It's called being a Protestant.  Our pastors are married, one is a female.  We see homosexuality as a sin, but won't snub you if you are.

/Never understood Catholicism...
 
2013-02-11 12:16:53 PM

cretinbob: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: So now he's an anti-Pope.  And if he ever comes in contact with the new Pope, space-time will be ripped apart.

No, he's not an antipope.


www.startrek.com
What an antipope might look like.
 
2013-02-11 12:17:16 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: SultanofSchwing: WaitWhatWhy: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Not Dolan, not Dolan, not Dolan.

[i.imgur.com image 225x225]  prblim?

no way.  Even for the Vatican hardliners, Dolan is far too polarizing.  there would literally be a PR shiat-storm if they did that.


I don't care!  I want Pope Dolan just because it will make me laugh, a lot and often.
 
2013-02-11 12:19:33 PM

Mugato: What does the Pope do anyway? Besides practicing his Force lightning.


Cheat at Huttball.

/kicks the ball
 
2013-02-11 12:20:17 PM
The Dali Lama would like to retire too.
 
2013-02-11 12:20:34 PM

Mugato: What does the Pope do anyway? Besides practicing his Force lightning.


torwars.com
Forgot the picture :(
 
2013-02-11 12:21:58 PM
They should make Ben Affleck the Pope, just to REALLY stick it to the Academy
 
2013-02-11 12:34:14 PM

ciberido: LineNoise: indylaw: What will the new pope be called? I find it hard to believe that all the good names have been taken. Biggus Dicus, Pontifex Maximus!

Or maybe Cletus II for the redneck vote.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prophecy_of_the_Popes

St Malachy says expect a run on tinfoil from the nutters.

Maggie took all of mine :(


I would share if it weren't for the restraining order : (
 
2013-02-11 12:38:16 PM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Turns out, he had to resign 'cause they caught him smoking weed.

imontheinternet: [deathandtaxesmag.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com image 585x340]
good thing he already has a successor lined up.

Why does the Pope have a "Something About Mary" hairstyle?


New hair gel?
 
2013-02-11 12:41:25 PM
It's like M. Night Shyamalan is directing the Catholic Church, mainly because it's boring and I don't care at all about this "twist."
 
2013-02-11 12:44:06 PM
Perhaps they found a connection between the dead girl that was buried in the mobster's grave back in the '80s and Poperor Palpatine?

/was not going to read 600+ comments
//ain't got time for that
 
2013-02-11 12:45:42 PM

LoneWolf343: Shadow writer: If Francis Arinze is elected pope, he would not be the first African pope, but he would be the first African pope in more than 1,500 years. The prospect of a black pope from Africa has captured the imagination of Catholics and non-Catholics all over the world.

Christ, can you imagine the resulting butthurt? It would be of biblical proportions.


www.wearysloth.com
Usul, we have butthurtsign the likes of which even God has never seen.
 
2013-02-11 12:53:21 PM
<img src="http://www.mcclearyconsulting.net/matthew/images/funny/sarahpalin .jpg">

Approves.
 
2013-02-11 12:55:09 PM

d23: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]


She was C of E, but yeah
 
2013-02-11 12:57:59 PM

BigBooper: geom_00: NobleHam: Yes.

Thanks.

Memo to the College of Cardinals.  PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS HOLY...THINK MODERATE OR LIBERAL!

/Snowballs chance in hell.  I know.

Wish list that might bring me back to the church:
1. Priests allowed to marry.
2. Allow the use of birth control
3. Equality for women (yes female priests)
4. A far more liberal view about homosexuality Burned at the stake
5. Decree a holly war on the mormons

Yep. not a snowballs chance in hell.

/haven't been in a church in years
//my daughters have never been in a church


FTFY
 
2013-02-11 12:58:54 PM

TommyDeuce: Marine1: Lionel Mandrake: I say it's time for a black, lesbian, left-handed Pope.

It's probably too soon to ask for a Muslim or an atheist.

Never too soon to ask for a Jew.

/Jewish Pope
//Holy crap (literally), that would be fun

Not that new. The first one was.

/and a hot-tempered angler as well.


I mean a Jew. Sure, Peter was a Jew... well, ethnically... but by the Jewish definition of Jew, he wasn't, because of the whole Jesus thing.
 
2013-02-11 01:03:59 PM

czetie: Andromeda: As I said from the non-greenlit thread, who wants to take bets as to what scandal is about to erupt?  Because these days I don't believe something so huge and unexpected from the Church makes anyone think "oh it's really just his poor health."

Also, the last time the pope resigned was in 1415 to avoid a schism- here's the article on papal resgination on Wikipedia.

This. I remember during the final years of the papacy of John Paul II, there were many calls for him to stand down due to ill health. At that time everybody in the Church dismissed the very idea, saying that Popes don't resign; only God decides when they are done.

So yeah, I rate this explanation one rung above "spending more time with his family".


I don't know for sure, but I actually heard that the current Pope was among those who said JPII should resign due to his health. If he personally feels that it's something Pope's should do, then there's likely no scandal here
 
2013-02-11 01:08:22 PM

ranold: A black pope would be hilarious.... Italians will go ape shiat.


Just look at how they're treating poor Balotelli

/not that he doesn't deserve it
 
2013-02-11 01:12:25 PM

Crewmannumber6: ranold: A black pope would be hilarious.... Italians will go ape shiat.

Just look at how they're treating poor Balotelli

/not that he doesn't deserve it


I think Chef Mario Balotelli is overrated.
 
2013-02-11 01:13:14 PM

Grand_Moff_Joseph: zomega: naughtyrev: AgentKGB: Do it WWE style...

"and his Holiness... giving his first speech as..."

"BAH GAWD KING! THAT'S MARTIN LUTHER'S MUSIC! IT'S MARTIN LUTHER!"

I would watch that.

Seconded. Would it be a work, though, or a shoot?

if you're going to do it, do it right - make it a shoot, with no tape delay, and verbal pipe bombs galore.


And have him bring some beer to drink in the ring

i.imgur.com


Crewmannumber6: ranold: A black pope would be hilarious.... Italians will go ape shiat.

Just look at how they're treating poor Balotelli

/not that he doesn't deserve it


Imagine if Barry White was still alive and they made him pope.
 
2013-02-11 01:14:46 PM
Shadow writer: If Francis Arinze is elected pope, he would not be the first African pope, but he would be the first African pope in more than 1,500 years. The prospect of a black pope from Africa has captured the imagination of Catholics and non-Catholics all over the world.

LoneWolf343: Christ, can you imagine the resulting butthurt? It would be of biblical proportions.


You're obviously not familiar with the Biblical story of the Ethiopian christian.


//And don't call me Christ