If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(AZCentral)   It turns out the sex is going to be better if you take your girlfriend to exotic destinations than if you keep your lovemaking confined to your bedroom   (azcentral.com) divider line 90
    More: Obvious, University of Alabama at Birmingham, U.S. Travel Association, bedrooms, girlfriend  
•       •       •

5275 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 9:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-11 07:36:46 AM  
This Valentine's Day, you may want to consider taking your significant other on a trip rather than buying flowers.

Because those things are essentially in the same price category anyway.
 
2013-02-11 08:02:35 AM  
Is the butt considered an exotic destination?

/dnrta
 
2013-02-11 08:31:17 AM  
.. Says the Institute for Promoting Travel on Valentines Day
 
2013-02-11 08:50:12 AM  
We always found the neighbor's pool exciting ... when it's dark ... when they're having dinner in the dining room.
 
2013-02-11 09:06:20 AM  
Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur
 
2013-02-11 09:08:35 AM  
The cot with shackles in the sound-proofed basement?

Might get me going.
 
2013-02-11 09:11:43 AM  
If you're going to take her to an exotic destination, remember to keep talking to her the whole time while you're driving.  She'll have a harder time remembering landmarks to find her way back.
 
2013-02-11 09:13:31 AM  
But the other people in the restaurant kept pointing and laughing
 
2013-02-11 09:15:48 AM  

Diogenes: The cot with shackles in the sound-proofed basement?

Might get me going.


I'm starting to worry about you : )
 
2013-02-11 09:16:16 AM  
As someone who finally went on a vacation with my wife this past July...just the two of us...the kids stayed home...for the first time in 18 years...WOW! We both forgot how much fun we can have together when our focus was just on each other. Now we have two vacations planned this year, and I cannot wait!
 
2013-02-11 09:17:10 AM  
I guess subby's never gotten an infection from a hotel mattress.

/now THAT's romance
 
2013-02-11 09:18:00 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur


I wish you would turn the lights on, and I think you meant exhibitionist.

/voyeur
 
2013-02-11 09:19:16 AM  

Shadow Blasko: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

I wish you would turn the lights on, and I think you meant exhibitionist.

/voyeur


But if I turn the lights on, then my lover would be able to look at my naked body and that's just not right in the eyes of the Lord!

/no, I couldn't keep a straight face
 
2013-02-11 09:19:32 AM  
Please! My wife and I don't try anything unless it has a DSM-IV code attached to it.
 
2013-02-11 09:20:31 AM  

DrPainMD: Is the butt considered an exotic destination?

/dnrta


Clearly your Fark handle has a double meaning.
 
2013-02-11 09:20:39 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
You like that too, we should hang out ; )
 
2013-02-11 09:20:41 AM  
Is this news from " Dr. N. S. Sherlock of the Institute For the Study of the Forehead-Slappingly Obvious "

apologies to the subby who came up with that headline. Seemed like it applied here too.

/can I has NS SHerlock trifecta in play?
 
2013-02-11 09:21:42 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur


Don't you mean exhibitionist?
Your neighbors would be the voyeurs.

/voyeur
 
2013-02-11 09:23:56 AM  
cdn4.blogs.babble.com

Like the foot of the bed?
 
2013-02-11 09:24:04 AM  
Tip: If you take them anywhere there is hot an cold running water and someone else cleans the toilet, you're gonna score more. Doesn't have to be infested with palm trees.
 
2013-02-11 09:24:10 AM  
It turns out the sex will be better if your girlfriend has money spent on her, like a whore, instead of having to do something nice for her partner for free.

FTFY
 
2013-02-11 09:24:56 AM  

IAMTHEINTARWEBS: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

Don't you mean exhibitionist?
Your neighbors would be the voyeurs.

/voyeur


Good point and well I'll go watch someone else now ; )
 
2013-02-11 09:25:59 AM  

wruley: As someone who finally went on a vacation with my wife this past July...just the two of us...the kids stayed home...for the first time in 18 years...WOW! We both forgot how much fun we can have together when our focus was just on each other. Now we have two vacations planned this year, and I cannot wait!


Oh god, so jealous. Can't wait for the kids to get a little older so we can do the same.
 
2013-02-11 09:26:31 AM  

DrPainMD: Is the butt considered an exotic destination?

/dnrta


No, more like the backseat of a Volkswagon.

i2.listal.com
 
2013-02-11 09:30:09 AM  
Also, remember guys, you pay for sex. Every time, with every girl. Sometimes the sex is better if the payment is upfront and honest. Blow jobs for example. Who will do a better job? The girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is if you come or the girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is for her to stop sucking your cock?

Most women hate dating guys who have actually had GOOD blowjobs in the past.

"Trust me, it`s you"
 
2013-02-11 09:34:43 AM  
I'd love to take my girlfriend to exotic destinations for fantastic sex. However, finding the time to get away from my wife is nearly impossible.
 
2013-02-11 09:37:11 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

You like that too, we should hang out ; )


How YOU doin'?

/eip
 
2013-02-11 09:39:53 AM  
This is so true.  There is nothing that gets me in the mood faster than taking a long, scenic drive to some quiet location for some al fresco nookie.  And if I use enough chloroform, she doesn't even complain about having to ride in the trunk.
 
2013-02-11 09:42:14 AM  

fnordest: tinfoil-hat maggie: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

You like that too, we should hang out ; )

How YOU doin'?

/eip


I said voyeur, I'd say eip but I have enough pics of men from fark ; )
Although, if you're truly outstanding then send away but beware I will post your pics online if they aren't ; )
 
2013-02-11 09:45:16 AM  
Exotic locations?  There is a reason that I don't have black lights in the living room, dining room, kitchen, hall ways, laundry room, etc.
 
2013-02-11 09:45:46 AM  
From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?
 
2013-02-11 09:49:19 AM  

IAMTHEINTARWEBS: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

Don't you mean exhibitionist?
Your neighbors would be the voyeurs.

/voyeur


But what if I like watching the people who like watching me get it on?  Then what?
 
2013-02-11 09:52:07 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: IAMTHEINTARWEBS: The My Little Pony Killer: Meh, we just leave the curtains open when we want excitement.

/voyeur

Don't you mean exhibitionist?
Your neighbors would be the voyeurs.

/voyeur

But what if I like watching the people who like watching me get it on?  Then what?


Exhibitionist, and EIP always happy to watch ; )
 
2013-02-11 09:53:57 AM  

eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?


Well I've not done it so maybe? Now anything in a graveyard not so much ; )
 
2013-02-11 09:54:10 AM  

eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?


No, but the sanctuary would. If you're gonna make the Almighty eyeroll, do it right.
 
2013-02-11 09:56:12 AM  
Sex is better if you take your exotic girlfriend to your bedroom .
 
2013-02-11 10:00:24 AM  
If I take her somewhere her husband might see us
 
2013-02-11 10:02:51 AM  

Onkel Buck: If I take her somewhere her husband might see us


If I take her somewhere my wife might see us.
 
2013-02-11 10:07:54 AM  
Just not having sex is way easier...
 
2013-02-11 10:15:44 AM  
belhade:

If I take her somewhere my wife might see us.

Take her to the kitchen...your wife will never see you there because she doesn't know where it is.
 
2013-02-11 10:16:09 AM  

eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?



On a related note:

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-11 10:21:40 AM  
My wife isn't a fan of me sleeping with my girlfriend in my bed.
 
2013-02-11 10:24:35 AM  
Take your SO to a nude beach in europe, preferably in Spain.

One day of that, and she'll give you a night you won't soon forget!

Being naked on the beach, in the sunshine and salt air, works everytime.
 
2013-02-11 10:27:00 AM  
Anybody tell the "Kiss me where it smells" joke yet?

/NJ
 
2013-02-11 10:27:20 AM  
You know we cant ALL spend Valentines Day in our parents basement...
 
2013-02-11 10:28:01 AM  

Basily Gourt: Take your SO to a nude beach in europe, preferably in Spain.

One day of that, and she'll give you a night you won't soon forget!

Being naked on the beach, in the sunshine and salt air, works everytime.


DO NOT, under any circumstances, do this anywhere infested with Germans.  You will spend your vacation searching for eyebleach.

/what has been seen cannot be unseen
 
2013-02-11 10:35:46 AM  

Basily Gourt: eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?


On a related note:

[farm9.staticflickr.com image 460x363]


I'll see that and raise you:

"The worlds fastest libido killer:"
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-02-11 10:36:35 AM  
You really shouldn't overplan this sort of thing. Going outside the bedroom is good, not so much for the change but for simply taking advantage of when and where the mood strikes you.

One time I was having lunch with my girlfriend and had a sudden, powerful impulse. I swept the table clear, picked her up and lied her on the table, tore her clothes off with my teeth and shagged her silly until we were both exhausted, sweaty, quivering yet very relaxed and happy messes.

It was probably the best sex we had during the whole of our relationship and the only down side is that we are now both barred from that particular branch of McDonalds for life.
 
2013-02-11 10:42:32 AM  
The bathroom at the local pub it is, then!
 
2013-02-11 10:44:14 AM  
My wife would get back from trips.....let me try again, my EX-wife would get back from trips and dry up like a fart in the wind...problem is that trips are expensive and if you have to travel to earn her opening up, I think there might be something wrong with the relationship.....just my 2 cents.
 
2013-02-11 10:52:33 AM  
the strangest place I made love to my girlfriend?  Her butt.
 
2013-02-11 10:58:04 AM  

AeAe: the strangest place I made love to my girlfriend?  Her butt.


Way to read the thread sparky.  That joke was made 2 posts in.  You win the nothing!
 
2013-02-11 11:00:40 AM  
I suppose it has nothing to do with having the MONEY to travel.  She is still farking her personal trainer you pay for, dumbass.
 
2013-02-11 11:02:54 AM  
Take her in exotic locations?

cdn.ientry.com

You bet.
 
2013-02-11 11:13:52 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: If you're going to take her to an exotic destination, remember to keep talking to her the whole time while you're driving.  She'll have a harder time remembering landmarks to find her way back.


Winner winner, Vaseline dinner
 
2013-02-11 11:14:19 AM  
Having a girlfriend would likely make my sex life better. (I don't know what would make my wife's sex life better. Not me it seems.)
 
2013-02-11 11:22:51 AM  

alaric3: Having a girlfriend would likely make my sex life better. (I don't know what would make my wife's sex life better. Not me it seems.)


No, not you.  She says you're too small and all the way you always cry afterwards creeps her out.
 
2013-02-11 11:26:07 AM  
Travel is about travel. Sex is about sex. If you can't ring her bell at a Motel 6 outside Chicago, you're not going to ring her bell anywhere.
 
2013-02-11 11:29:31 AM  

Lucidz: AeAe: the strangest place I made love to my girlfriend?  Her butt.

Way to read the thread sparky.  That joke was made 2 posts in.  You win the nothing!


I know!  I saw it after I posted my awful awful comment...

heh.
 
2013-02-11 11:32:20 AM  

eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."

Speaking about exotic, would having sex on the steps of a church count as exotic?


At the very least, you won't have to worry about another Immortal beheading you while you're boning...
 
2013-02-11 11:32:32 AM  
It's even better if the wife doesn't find out where you took the girlfriend.

Unless she's cool with that.
 
2013-02-11 11:37:37 AM  
Funny. I'm reading this from the bed of a nice hotel in Maui, where I have enjoyed supremely chaste vacation this past week. There's nothing that'll kill a sex life like sharing a suite with your toddler. I'm looking forward to getting home tonight and getting some more walls and doors between me and the kiddo.
 
2013-02-11 11:45:34 AM  
But is that sex with each other?
 
2013-02-11 11:51:43 AM  
So you mean to tell me that women become more physically... appreciative after being showered with luxurious gifts? I guffaw at your implication, sir!
 
2013-02-11 11:52:04 AM  
I'm going to write a book on the virtues of vacation sex and make a beezillion dollars. People need to know about this important concept.
 
2013-02-11 11:55:59 AM  

iron_city_ap: My wife isn't a fan of me sleeping with my girlfriend in my bed.


So they get along then? How did you do that? All I want in this world is for my wife and girlfriend to get along with each other
 
2013-02-11 12:07:37 PM  

Onkel Buck: iron_city_ap: My wife isn't a fan of me sleeping with my girlfriend in my bed.

So they get along then? How did you do that? All I want in this world is for my wife and girlfriend to get along with each other


Well truthfully you should have let one choose the other but ya know that still doesn't make it easy ; )
 
2013-02-11 12:09:10 PM  

eyeq360: From the Ric Romero Institute: "Sex is going to be better if you shower her with gifts like flowers and jewelry."


Shower her with diamonds? Easy enough- stand her behind one of these babies when it dumps its' load!

http://www.google.com.au/search?q=diamond+mining+truck+picture&hl=en &t bo=u&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=CSUZUZ_VFc2ziQf_9oGwDQ&ved=0CEEQsAQ& biw=1186&bih=927
 
2013-02-11 12:17:20 PM  
Sex on the beach?

I imagine if some of that sand gets in your tender parts it wouldn't feel too great.
Plus that sand is kinda icky too,
 
2013-02-11 12:24:48 PM  

Onkel Buck: iron_city_ap: My wife isn't a fan of me sleeping with my girlfriend in my bed.

So they get along then? How did you do that? All I want in this world is for my wife and girlfriend to get along with each other


Multiple bottles of wine. Or a bottle of Ouzo.
 
2013-02-11 12:30:02 PM  

AeAe: Lucidz: AeAe: the strangest place I made love to my girlfriend?  Her butt.

Way to read the thread sparky.  That joke was made 2 posts in.  You win the nothing!

I know!  I saw it after I posted my awful awful comment...

heh.


Nice. I was trying not to be too much of a dick in case it was an honest mistake.

However, for those of you worried about lack of sex or desiring it more than your partner, may I suggest total acute liver failure.  I haven't wanted sex in MONTHS!
 
2013-02-11 12:54:55 PM  

Basily Gourt: Take your SO to a nude beach in europe, preferably in Spain.

One day of that, and she'll give you a night you won't soon forget!

Being naked on the beach, in the sunshine and salt air, works everytime.


Hmm. Took my wife to Orient Bay Beach in St.  Martin.

She screamed and ran for cover.

Word to the wise. Not all women look like Playboy centerfolds and some Germans need to cover it up.
 
2013-02-11 01:14:29 PM  
Every winter hubby and I get very lazy regarding our lovemaking.

That's why I require a trip every winter.

Last year we went to St. Elizabeth, Jamaica. We were more or less the only tourists there. The hotel we stayed at was empty. We had amazing sex ALL over the hotel at least 3 times a day... by mid-trip I had to take a break. I was hurting.
 
2013-02-11 01:33:26 PM  
...but the thrilling chance of my wife walking in on us while my girlfriend is well mounted, what about that?

//lude
 
2013-02-11 01:38:02 PM  
I am surprised this has not been posted yet.

s9.postimage.org
 
2013-02-11 01:54:58 PM  
I suppose it depends on your definition of exotic.

I've taken my gf to Albania, Bulgaria, Bosnia, Macedonia, Hungary, all the Baltic states, plus quite a few more in Central and Eastern Europe, but I am still holding out on Paris, Rome or London with her. I don't think she seems too impressed my my definition of exotic.

/hoping we make it to make Belarus this summer :)
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 02:02:22 PM  
"Couple with luggage embracing"
What the hell? Luggage with arms? Who exactly would the luggage be embracing then?
 
2013-02-11 02:39:12 PM  

Voiceofreason01: I guess subby's never gotten an infection from a hotel mattress.

/now THAT's romance


The mattress was asking for it.
 
2013-02-11 02:48:11 PM  
So...sex with my girlfriend in an exotic location is more fun than sex with my wife in the bedroom.  Well, okay, then!  I'm sold!
 
2013-02-11 03:01:10 PM  
I'm gonna take her on a trip to the kitchen.
 
2013-02-11 03:30:24 PM  

Lollipop165: Every winter hubby and I get very lazy regarding our lovemaking.

That's why I require a trip every winter.

Last year we went to St. Elizabeth, Jamaica. We were more or less the only tourists there. The hotel we stayed at was empty. We had amazing sex ALL over the hotel at least 3 times a day... by mid-trip I had to take a break. I was hurting.


Your mouth get chapped or something?
 
2013-02-11 04:41:21 PM  
Duncan, BC!
 
2013-02-11 07:48:08 PM  
dready zim: Blow jobs for example. Who will do a better job? The girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is if you come or the girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is for her to stop sucking your cock?

Most women hate dating guys who have actually had GOOD blowjobs in the past.



That's kinda silly, you get the first one out of the way, let them rest a bit, and when they are able again it lasts long enough for the girl to get hers, sometimes more than once. That's why BJs were invented!
 
2013-02-11 08:05:48 PM  

BlaqueKatt: dready zim: Blow jobs for example. Who will do a better job? The girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is if you come or the girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is for her to stop sucking your cock?

Most women hate dating guys who have actually had GOOD blowjobs in the past.


That's kinda silly, you get the first one out of the way, let them rest a bit, and when they are able again it lasts long enough for the girl to get hers, sometimes more than once. That's why BJs were invented!


If only more women thought like you
 
2013-02-11 09:08:50 PM  
SuperChuck:
If only more women thought like you

There would be less complaining about not getting off.

Seriously, work with or around biology, don't whine about it, complaining does nothing(except annoy others and waste time), fixes nothing, so establish what the "problem" is, and how best to deal with it to the benefit of whoever is involved.  Why is this so hard for people? Oh yeah, logic is lost on many.
 
2013-02-11 09:32:10 PM  

gja: "Couple with luggage embracing"
What the hell? Luggage with arms? Who exactly would the luggage be embracing then?


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-12 12:55:37 AM  

DrPainMD: Is the butt considered an exotic destination?

/dnrta


i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-12 06:56:55 AM  

dready zim: Also, remember guys, you pay for sex. Every time, with every girl. Sometimes the sex is better if the payment is upfront and honest. Blow jobs for example. Who will do a better job? The girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is if you come or the girl who wants it over as soon as possible and the only way for that to happen is for her to stop sucking your cock?

Most women hate dating guys who have actually had GOOD blowjobs in the past.

"Trust me, it`s you"


Or skip the blowjob and just have sex with your SO?

And if you're paying for sex every time, with every girl, then you may be in the relationship for just the sex.

/Not an expert, just call 'em like I've seen 'em.

/
 
2013-02-14 11:21:24 AM  

BlaqueKatt: That's kinda silly, you get the first one out of the way, let them rest a bit, and when they are able again it lasts long enough for the girl to get hers, sometimes more than once. That's why BJs were invented!


Newsletter, subscribe, and so forth.
 
2013-02-14 05:57:42 PM  

Highroller48: Newsletter, subscribe, and so forth.



aww my first newsletter request, not sure how I should feel about that.....
 
Displayed 90 of 90 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report