Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Washington Post)   PTA buys popular new playground equipment for elementary school. School system promptly condemns the equipment, to avoid the risk of falling snowflakes   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, PTA, Fairfax, school systems, elementary schools, playgrounds, Owings Mills, construction manager, equipment  
•       •       •

10278 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 4:25 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-02-11 01:18:58 AM  
6 votes:
Back in my day, we just hurled ourselves off the school roof and aimed for the handicapped kids...

2013-02-11 08:24:28 AM  
2 votes:
It was spring after a tough winter, Timmy and Sarah were at the top of the slide. The slide was tall enough to carry over ten children on it's ladder, it was enormous. They were fighting over who was going down next.  The teacher was coming from about a mile away and it wasn't looking good for Sarah, she was taking a terrible beating.  Timmy had a weight advantage and though Sarah had the reach, she was slow to realize how desperate her situation was and just how ruthless Timmy could be.  With a herculean shove Timmy got past Sarah's best effort to cling to safety.  Sarah departed the slide and I remember looking up the skirt of my beloved Sarah as she hurtled past me headed towards the earth.  My blonde haired sirens back collided with the ground with a delicate thud.  Sarah released an enormous fart born from a cold baked bean sandwich she'd had at lunch.  The innocent bystanders heard an oath uttered by fathers everywhere, "You SON-OF-A-biatch TIMMY! and she spent the rest of recess, standing, nose pressed against the cold, heartless brick wall.

I loved her then and I'm sure I'd love her now.
2013-02-11 07:27:25 AM  
2 votes:

frestcrallen: [ image 650x357]
These were the best. A test of playground manhood not for the faint of heart.

I remember an elementary science teacher taking us (7-8 year olds) to the playground merry-go-round. He had several of us hanging onto the outside edge. He got it spinning, then told all of us to lunge for the center at the count of 3. He hit 3, we all scrambled to the center, the merry-go-round's centrifugal force tripled, and we were all hurled off in 20 different random directions.

Great object lesson that I still remember. If he did it today, he'd be sued into oblivion.
2013-02-11 05:31:38 AM  
2 votes:

MissFeasance: davidphogan: I'm right at that age when I can remember the fun/dangerous stuff going away as it was replaced with the so-called safe stuff that seemed to hurt more people, but maybe we were all injured less badly?

I remember the old school monkey bars.  After six or seven girls broke their arms in one year, they were taken out.

Translation: I broke six or seven girls arms getting their lunch money one year. I told them to blame the monkey bars... or else...
2013-02-11 04:38:44 AM  
2 votes:
I'll always remember the adult sized pull up bars on the elementary playground. .I'm not sure how far off the ground they really were, but to us 3rd graders they were a mountain to be scaled.  The object of recess was to shimmy your way up to the top of the bars, or have a pile of kids hoist you up if you had connections, stand on the top of the thin bar, and defend against all comers.  It was glorious.  The end of recess was like the end of 300.  Every day.
2013-02-11 10:16:36 AM  
1 vote:

eyeq360: Did that again from the money bars, but landed on the back of my head onto hard-packed dirt and gravel. Had to go home for the rest of the day.

It's because of jerks like you that consider them "Money bars" that we can't have nice things.

/I keed, I keed!
2013-02-11 09:23:06 AM  
1 vote:
On the playground in Ohio, a bunch of us were sliding around on the ice.  One gal fell and got a concussion.  They have yet to ban winter in Ohio.
2013-02-11 08:09:01 AM  
1 vote:
Our school playground had two jungle gyms, a few monkey bars, 4 swings, a merry-go-round, and a slide.  And we weren't allowed on any of it.

They even lowered their balance beam (from 4 inches off the ground to 0) so "no one would get hurt."  They didn't count on a bunch of kids wrenching it from its bolts and using it as a battering ram/clothesline.
2013-02-11 07:43:02 AM  
1 vote:

Problem solved.
2013-02-11 06:37:15 AM  
1 vote:

BarkingUnicorn: MissFeasance: thatboyoverthere: Jesus christ! I know that's possible and their small but damn.

She was okay, luckily.  I was one of the last girls to break an arm... I broke my shoulder on my left side.  It didn't crack through the growth plate but it touched it, and my left arm is a wee bit shorter than my right.  I'm all for exciting stuff on the playground but after enough injuries, well.

These tales of playground trauma are strange to me.  I never broke anything.  My worst injury during childhood was a sprained ankle, and I got that by jumping off the muzzle of a Sherman tank's cannon at a war memorial.

[ image 800x600]

Silly Wabbit - the Sherman Tank would not have been approved for the playground either. It would be 24" over the height requirement. Although, the article did not mention any restrictions on machine or 75mm artillery guns on the playground. So there is that at least.

Sherman Tank Specs
Weight - 66,800 pounds
Length - 19 ft 2 in (5.84 m)
Width - 8 ft 7 in (2.62 m)
Height - 9 ft (2.74 m)
Main armament - 75 mm M3 L/40 gun or 76 mm gun M1
Secondary armament - .50 cal Browning M2HB machine gun | 2 × .30-06 Browning M1919A4 machine guns
2013-02-11 05:49:09 AM  
1 vote:
I miss this old merry go round.  Looks the same today as it did 27+ years ago.

This past summer I went back to that park and some People of Walmart woman's horde was climbing all over it actively trying to break it while wailing like tards about how crappy it looked.  They walked away defeated and I like to think the merry-go-round looked pleased with itself.

/Merry story, sis.
2013-02-11 04:59:00 AM  
1 vote:
FTFA:"In a written report, the inspector found that among other safety issues, parts of the structure were too tall. One part of the equipment is 94 inches above the ground, 10 inches higher than the school system allows."

someone should have rtfm>
2013-02-11 04:31:18 AM  
1 vote:
When I was a kid, they just handed us blunted melee weapons are yelled "Fight!"
Displayed 13 of 13 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.