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(NYPost)   Fortune-cookie company removes romantic messages from their cookies after complaints from parents who don't want their children to meet a tall, dark, handsome lover   (nypost.com) divider line 49
    More: Silly, Long Island City, romantic interest  
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2460 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2013 at 12:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-11 12:24:00 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-11 12:25:04 AM
Fortune-cookie company removes romantic messages from their cookies after complaints from parents who don't want their children to meet a tall, dark, handsome lover

IN BED!
 
2013-02-11 12:25:22 AM
Wonton messages are wanton.
 
2013-02-11 12:26:02 AM
Slant-eyed people's problems.
 
2013-02-11 12:31:34 AM
I actually got one of the last examples one time.

"You will soon inherit a large fortune."

I said, "Crap!" and handed it to my friend?

They said, "Crap? Why!?"

"Somebody that loves me enough to leave a lot of money to me is going to die, apparently," was my reply.

We both chuckled and agreed that wasn't a great fortune.

Probably good they're tweaking those things--in bed.
 
2013-02-11 12:34:55 AM
Oh fer chrissake.
 
2013-02-11 12:39:29 AM
i3.kym-cdn.com
Here comes tall, dark, and handsome.
 
2013-02-11 12:39:45 AM
"HELP!  I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!!!"
 
2013-02-11 12:39:52 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-11 12:41:42 AM
Your first date will be a kind, giving lover who will be asked to have a seat over there
 
2013-02-11 12:45:09 AM
i dont know which one to use

i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 12:45:54 AM
or
 th101.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 12:45:58 AM
I guess if it's not right, it's Wong.
 
2013-02-11 12:47:19 AM
Your mother is planning to sell you to a cork farm in Madagascar.


/ strangest. fortune. ever.
 
2013-02-11 12:48:15 AM
FTFA: "Fortune-cookie experts agree it's best to keep messages bland."

They have fortune cookie experts?!? Wow. I can't imagine trying to hold a conversation with a fortune cookie expert.

"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a chef. And you?"
"I'm a fortune cookie expert. Want to swap recipes...in bed?"
*stares*
 
2013-02-11 12:49:05 AM
Well, that sucks ass.  The whole point of fortunes is that they're supposed to be prophetic and vaguely spooky.  They're supposed to be easily misinterpreted.  If we run them through the nanny state PC mill, they'll become so bland no one wants them at all.  The best bad fortune I ever got was "Your true love will never leave you."  My girlfriend got it when we were eating Chinese together, and she gave it to me.  Two weeks before I caught her cheating on me and we broke up.

Also:
"This makes sense because romance is tricky. There's no one size fits all," said Jennifer 8. Lee, author of "The Fortune Cookie Chronicles."

Man, Chinese people are really getting serious about 8 being a lucky number.  They name their kids 8 now?
 
2013-02-11 12:51:46 AM
Another CS:

I was going through a tough time a couple of years ago and had just lost a job. I went to lunch with a friend and while they were a good friend and might have bought lunch anyway, the "fortune" he got said something like, "You should pay for this meal."

I sh*t you not. It wasn't worded quite like that, but that's what it said, plain as day. He showed it to me, so I know he wasn't just being nice. It would have taken all the money in my wallet to buy the lunch if I had gotten that cookie. I think that's the only time I've run across a fortune that clearly benefitted me.

In all the times I've been to a Chinese restaurant I have never seen a fortune like that.
 
2013-02-11 12:53:02 AM
[ Well, if you're reading this then you're alive, anyway. You've got that going for you. ]

HotWingAgenda: Man, Chinese people are really getting serious about 8 being a lucky number. They name their kids 8 now?


Ask North Korea, I hear there they 8 them all.
 
2013-02-11 12:55:17 AM
www.nataliedee.com
 
2013-02-11 01:05:51 AM

thisiszombocom: i dont know which one to use


...in a hail of gunfire

That's the prude's version of "in bed".
 
2013-02-11 01:12:50 AM
This fortune cookie, I think, was intended to read and eaten by Valentine daters who are not serious couples.
 
2013-02-11 01:14:45 AM
F*cking kids ruin everything!
 
2013-02-11 01:19:21 AM
MadAzza: F*cking kids ruin everything!

Only if you get caught.

uhhh, wait...
 
DB
2013-02-11 01:20:19 AM

ultraholland: Wonton messages are wanton.


nailed it
 
2013-02-11 01:34:19 AM

HotWingAgenda: Well, that sucks ass.  The whole point of fortunes is that they're supposed to be prophetic and vaguely spooky.  They're supposed to be easily misinterpreted.  If we run them through the nanny state PC mill, they'll become so bland no one wants them at all.  The best bad fortune I ever got was "Your true love will never leave you."  My girlfriend got it when we were eating Chinese together, and she gave it to me.  Two weeks before I caught her cheating on me and we broke up.


Well, obviously she wasn't your true love. Vindication for the cookie! And I agree about the fortunes -- the weird, vaguely unsettling ones are the best. We went out for Chinese yesterday and my seven-year-old got "Be Prepared For The Truth." I thought that was great. And if it had told him that his true love would never leave him, well, it doesn't say *when*, does it?
 
2013-02-11 01:34:22 AM

HotWingAgenda: Man, Chinese people are really getting serious about 8 being a lucky number.  They name their kids 8 now?


Gaius Octavius sees nothing wrong with that
 
2013-02-11 01:37:40 AM
Man, this thread makes me want to make a bunch of weird fortunes to put inside fortune cookies for my next big social gathering.

/ Now all I need is a fortune cookie dough recipe
// And friends
 
2013-02-11 01:53:10 AM

GranoblasticMan: HotWingAgenda: Man, Chinese people are really getting serious about 8 being a lucky number.  They name their kids 8 now?

Gaius Octavius sees nothing wrong with that


25.media.tumblr.com

/He has a wife you know
//http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K8_jgiNqUc
 
2013-02-11 01:55:12 AM

GranoblasticMan: Man, this thread makes me want to make a bunch of weird fortunes to put inside fortune cookies for my next big social gathering.

/ Now all I need is a fortune cookie dough recipe
// And friends


http://allrecipes.com/recipe/fortune-cookies-i/

And go with lyrics from this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iCwmMlJDSE
 
2013-02-11 02:08:43 AM

Duck_of_Doom: GranoblasticMan: Man, this thread makes me want to make a bunch of weird fortunes to put inside fortune cookies for my next big social gathering.

/ Now all I need is a fortune cookie dough recipe
// And friends

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/fortune-cookies-i/

And go with lyrics from this song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iCwmMlJDSE


Yes! That's brilliant; I'm surprised I didn't think of that song before.

As for the fortune cookie dough/batter: I know we made that stuff once in culinary school (It's really fun to work with), but I can't for the life of me remember what the proper name for it is >_< Gonna have to break out my old textbook if I can find it around here.
 
2013-02-11 02:32:35 AM

MadAzza: F*cking kids ruin everything!


Amen!
 
2013-02-11 02:38:52 AM

Buffet: MadAzza: F*cking kids ruin everything!

Amen!


*ruins
 
2013-02-11 02:46:28 AM
If you're so into your kids lives you worry about fortune cookie messages, you need to be taken out and shot.

In bed.
 
2013-02-11 03:09:04 AM
www.amazingsuperpowers.com
 
2013-02-11 03:32:19 AM

Buffet: MadAzza: F*cking kids ruin everything!

Amen!


Especially in bed.
 
2013-02-11 05:05:51 AM
I like the ones that make no sense, like when I got "Your fastidious nature will have much more fun this year". (A web search shows I'm far from the only one to be amused or puzzled by that one.)

Packersfan823: [www.amazingsuperpowers.com image 850x345]


I think the creepiest thing about that wasn't the last fortune, but the pupil-less egg eyes.
 
2013-02-11 05:15:46 AM
Slightly related story:

I finished work last night and noticed that there was an ongoing lotto in the pokie room, where after spending X you got to enter a competition for an outdoor pizza cooker (aside - it looked cheap, my mates have made their own out of left over bricks that were waay better).

Anyway, the guy working the bar said look how many people have entered it (showing me a see through box full of entries). We all had a giggle, then whilst pointing behind me to the pokie addicts I said "Yeah but these people expect to win, regardless of the odds."

All us staff had a giggle.

There is always a remote chance you will find that "The evening promises romantic interest."

Do none of these people watch 'The Mentalist'?
 
2013-02-11 05:54:59 AM
s7.postimage.org
 
2013-02-11 08:22:58 AM
You will find true love on Flag Day

Your store is being robbed, Apu

/He's like a young me!
 
2013-02-11 10:23:29 AM
Next ban target for parents of precious snowflakes:

www.amysfavorites.com

/for the children
 
2013-02-11 10:41:58 AM
www.i-mockery.com
 
2013-02-11 10:53:30 AM

GanjSmokr: Next ban target for parents of precious snowflakes:

[www.amysfavorites.com image 300x240]

/for the children


pjmedia.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-02-11 10:59:39 AM
"after complaints from parents who don't want their children to meet a tall, dark, handsome lover"

Why so paranoid, parents?

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-11 11:04:59 AM
Oddest one I ever got was when I was out to lunch with a bunch of coworkers:

"He who loves you will follow"

And I'm not even gay

/started a huge prank war that I'm still finding the results from 5 years later
 
2013-02-11 11:40:16 AM

JonZoidberg: Fortune-cookie company removes romantic messages from their cookies after complaints from parents who don't want their children to meet a tall, dark, handsome lover

IN BED!


I always add the words 'in bed' to the end of my fortune, although it made me a little uncomfortable when my fortune said 'You have a way with small children.'
 
2013-02-11 12:06:13 PM

GanjSmokr: Next ban target for parents of precious snowflakes:

[www.amysfavorites.com image 300x240]

/for the children



i220.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-11 02:19:01 PM

HotWingAgenda: Well, that sucks ass.  The whole point of fortunes is that they're supposed to be prophetic and vaguely spooky.


Most of the ones I get are supposed to be wisdom, I guess.

I have these 2 on my desk:

"We create our own fate every day we live" and "You can see a lot just by looking".
 
2013-02-11 03:35:53 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x380]


My daughter was a 'Rocko' fan & one time, as we went around the table reading our fortunes, she read that with an sad/troubled look on her face. She had us all fooled.
 
2013-02-11 10:55:16 PM

kindms: [www.i-mockery.com image 450x338]


Heh, when he finally barges through to get an audience with the great master.
 
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