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(io9)   Florida man is the nation's worst superhero   (io9.com) divider line 44
    More: Florida, florida  
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12095 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2013 at 5:05 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-10 04:26:34 PM
Keep in mind that "Florida man" was usually "Buffalo man" or "Detroit man" or "Indianapolis man" 6 months before packing up the Dodge Durango and relocating to the sunshine state.
 
2013-02-10 04:44:31 PM
No, Detroit man typically relocates to Texas for jobs.  The retired Detroit man heads to Florida to shuffle slowly around till he passes on.  That is, the ones that survive long enough to leave Detroit.
 
2013-02-10 04:50:16 PM
Is he related to Area man?
 
2013-02-10 05:11:44 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-10 05:12:26 PM
...and his name is Five Oh Oh.
 
2013-02-10 05:16:24 PM
wait, what?
 
2013-02-10 05:29:11 PM
Y'all are brutalizin' him!
 
2013-02-10 05:30:44 PM
I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.
 
2013-02-10 05:32:01 PM
Please retire the Florida tag already.
Thank You.
 
2013-02-10 05:32:11 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Keep in mind that "Florida man" was usually "Buffalo man" or "Detroit man" or "Indianapolis man" 6 months before packing up the Dodge Durango and relocating to the sunshine state.


So instead of breeding them locally Florida is a natural magnet for the dregs of society? Not sure that's much better.
 
2013-02-10 05:33:06 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Keep in mind that "Florida man" was usually "Buffalo man" or "Detroit man" or "Indianapolis man" 6 months before packing up the Dodge Durango and relocating to the sunshine state.


Or in this case, "Racine man".

bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com
 
2013-02-10 05:33:57 PM
Florida man, Florida man
Doing whatever a Florida can
 
2013-02-10 05:43:43 PM

Into the blue again: Florida man, Florida man
Doing whatever Florida  Flouridians can.
Why subby cares? No one knows.
Stupid man, Florida man.


Drunken man, drunken man,
Drunken man hates Florida man.
When they fight, policeman wins,
Powerful man, Police man.

/dammit, now iTunes is going to get another buck from me...
 
2013-02-10 05:45:28 PM

Hector Remarkable: I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.

Y'know... He probably stirred the glass with his ding-dong. >.>
 
2013-02-10 05:53:05 PM

Captain Steroid: Hector Remarkable: I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.
Y'know... He probably stirred the glass with his ding-dong. >.>


He told me that was one of his super powers.
 
2013-02-10 05:53:14 PM
... is he any relation to Fabian Stankowicz, The Mechano-Marauder?
 
2013-02-10 05:54:02 PM

way south: Into the blue again: Florida man, Florida man
Doing whatever Florida  Flouridians can.
Why subby cares? No one knows.
Stupid man, Florida man.

Drunken man, drunken man,
Drunken man hates Florida man.
When they fight, policeman wins,
Powerful man, Police man.

/dammit, now iTunes is going to get another buck from me...


I knew I could count on a farker to finish that, well done!

/tmbg!
 
2013-02-10 06:25:19 PM
His arch-nemesis is Florida Commission on Tourism.
 
2013-02-10 06:44:24 PM
To me it seems more like the actions of a supervillain, with all the "steal 166 manhole covers" and "dinosaur-smuggling", etc. stories.
So the big question is: what is he trying to build with all that stuff? AND WHO CAN STOP HIM? PANIC!!
 
2013-02-10 06:49:44 PM
Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?
 
2013-02-10 06:54:58 PM

banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?



Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.
 
2013-02-10 06:58:53 PM
Florida Man, Florida Man
Doing the things a Florida can
Where's he found? News headlines
Florida Man

Is he a dolt, or is he a crook?
If he gets naked, do people look?
Or do the cops get him instead?
Nobody cares, Florida Man.

Farker Man, Farker Man
Farker Man hates Florida Man
They have a thread, Farker wins
Farker Man

Cannabis Man, Cannabis Man
Always high on cannabis man
Usually kind to pizza man
Cannabis Man

He's got a bong made of rubber band,
Spinach, canned, and a music stand.
And when he smokes it's a happy land
Cannabis Man 

Bath Salts Man, Bath Salts Man
Ate your face with a broken can
Crapped himself, and then he ran
Bath Salts Man

Is he a coke head, or off his meds?
Is he one of the Walking Dead?
Who invented Bath Salts, man?
Demented man, Bath Salts Man

Farker Man, Farker Man
Farker Man hates Bath Salts Man
They have a thread, Farker wins
Farker Man
 
2013-02-10 07:03:44 PM
This thread saddens and disgusts real superheroes.
 
2013-02-10 07:04:26 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.


Your Google-fu is weak



Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats
 
2013-02-10 07:04:51 PM

proton: Please retire the Florida tag already.
Thank You.


Florida started it.  Florida has to stop first.
 
2013-02-10 07:16:18 PM
margotmagowan.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-10 07:18:33 PM

brigid_fitch: common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.

Your Google-fu is weak

Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats


You know, that is still pretty creepy.  Even creepier if you do a quick search-and-replace with a synonym:

Cape Coral, FL, February 04, 2013 --(PR.com)-- Does your family cat have something to say? A retiree in Florida claims in a new book that he has had intercourse with several cats, and over many years with one particular genius cat. Author Lawrence Matthews does not claim to be a "cat communicator" such as found at pet shows, but says that he was gradually drawn into the inter-species intercourse over many years starting with the one remarkable cat. "It was just 'learn as you go,'" he says, "and the cat has to feel like participating." Matthews has just published a Kindle book, The Cat Connection, a memoir covering a lifetime of owning cats. Central to the book are the discoveries he has made about intercourse between human and cat species. The book of true stories also includes several dozen photos.
 
2013-02-10 07:18:48 PM

Captain Steroid: Hector Remarkable: I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.
Y'know... He probably stirred the glass with his ding-dong. >.>



Florida is America's flaccid penis
 
2013-02-10 07:19:43 PM
clevernamehere:

Finally a theme song for fark
 
2013-02-10 07:31:44 PM

TuteTibiImperes: brigid_fitch: common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.

Your Google-fu is weak

Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats

You know, that is still pretty creepy.  Even creepier if you do a quick search-and-replace with a synonym:

Cape Coral, FL, February 04, 2013 --(PR.com)-- Does your family cat have something to say? A retiree in Florida claims in a new book that he has had intercourse with several cats, and over many years with one particular genius cat. Author Lawrence Matthews does not claim to be a "cat communicator" such as found at pet shows, but says that he was gradually drawn into the inter-species intercourse over many years starting with the one remarkable cat. "It was just 'learn as you go,'" he says, "and the cat has to feel like participating." Matthews has just published a Kindle book, The Cat Connection, a memoir covering a lifetime of owning cats. Central to the book are the discoveries he has made about intercourse between human and cat species. The book of true stories also includes several dozen photos.


You improved my evening. Thank you.
 
2013-02-10 07:33:10 PM
img2-1.timeinc.net
Approves.
 
2013-02-10 07:34:27 PM

Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: TuteTibiImperes: brigid_fitch: common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.

Your Google-fu is weak

Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats

You know, that is still pretty creepy.  Even creepier if you do a quick search-and-replace with a synonym:

Cape Coral, FL, February 04, 2013 --(PR.com)-- Does your family cat have something to say? A retiree in Florida claims in a new book that he has had intercourse with several cats, and over many years with one particular genius cat. Author Lawrence Matthews does not claim to be a "cat communicator" such as found at pet shows, but says that he was gradually drawn into the inter-species intercourse over many years starting with the one remarkable cat. "It was just 'learn as you go,'" he says, "and the cat has to feel like participating." Matthews has just published a Kindle book, The Cat Connection, a memoir covering a lifetime of owning cats. Central to the book are the discoveries he has made about intercourse between human and cat species. The book of true stories also includes several dozen photos.

You improved my evening. Thank you.


Interspecies intercourse........ Dude
 
2013-02-10 07:36:22 PM
More interested in the "lady Data cosplay" story on the sidebar....
 
2013-02-10 07:58:54 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-10 08:30:10 PM

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 301x399]


I want to be just like Alabama man!!
 
2013-02-10 08:41:33 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net

/courtesy of a previous amusing Florida Man thread.
 
2013-02-10 09:09:26 PM

Hector Remarkable: I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.


like this guy?
i269.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-10 09:14:31 PM

proton: Please retire the Florida tag already.
Thank You.


Tell Florida to stop providing so much quality entertainment, and we'll talk.

You're welcome.

Or I guess, "yer welcum"
 
2013-02-10 09:58:18 PM
Who has the highest dumbass quotient -- Florida Man or Walmart Shopper?
 
2013-02-10 10:38:17 PM

Breygon: Hector Remarkable: I'm just glad to know it's not me.
Besides, FloridaMan's not so bad - he's always good for a glass of orange juice.

like this guy?
[i269.photobucket.com image 535x639]


I don't know why they don't just call him Crunchy Nut Man.
 
2013-02-11 12:54:27 AM

Into the blue again: Alex Broughton Butt Chugger: TuteTibiImperes: brigid_fitch: common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.

Your Google-fu is weak

Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats

You know, that is still pretty creepy.  Even creepier if you do a quick search-and-replace with a synonym:

Cape Coral, FL, February 04, 2013 --(PR.com)-- Does your family cat have something to say? A retiree in Florida claims in a new book that he has had intercourse with several cats, and over many years with one particular genius cat. Author Lawrence Matthews does not claim to be a "cat communicator" such as found at pet shows, but says that he was gradually drawn into the inter-species intercourse over many years starting with the one remarkable cat. "It was just 'learn as you go,'" he says, "and the cat has to feel like participating." Matthews has just published a Kindle book, The Cat Connection, a memoir covering a lifetime of owning cats. Central to the book are the discoveries he has made about intercourse between human and cat species. The book of true stories also includes several dozen photos.

You improved my evening. Thank you.

Interspecies intercourse........ Dude


He could at least wait until the cat (or dog) is lying dead outside of a daycare center. Like civilized people.
 
2013-02-11 02:16:56 AM

Prey4reign: Who has the highest dumbass quotient -- Florida Man or Walmart Shopper?


Imagine Florida Man shopping at Walmart - the ultimate worst superhero/villain.
 
2013-02-11 02:47:06 PM
Into the blue again: 

Interspecies intercourse........ Dude

Loool, I didn't read the article before citing it as the only positive one. The title just sounded positive, and I thought "what could possibly be negative about this?"

So yes, nevermind, screw you Florida Man.
 
2013-02-11 08:17:38 PM

brigid_fitch: common sense is an oxymoron: banandar123: Interestingly, out of 33 tweets so far, there's been only one remotely positive story.
"Florida Man Finds Way To Connect With Cats "

/What the hell, Florida?


Florida Man + "connecting with cats" = nothing positive.

Your Google-fu is weak

Florida Man Finds Way to Connect with Cats



You seem to take things even more literally than I do.
 
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