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(US News)   [FAIL] or [IRONIC] ? You decide: Five dead in cruise ship lifeboat drill   (usnews.com) divider line 59
    More: Sad, regional government, Spain, Canary Islands  
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8929 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Feb 2013 at 5:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-10 02:48:34 PM  
FAIL.
 
2013-02-10 02:50:51 PM  
Investigators were trying to determine what caused the lifeboat to plummet into the water.

It was a panicking zebra.
 
2013-02-10 05:03:44 PM  
The dead crewmen included three Indonesians, a Filipino and a Ghanian, authorities said. The three injured crew members were taken by ambulance to a hospital in La Palma and the nationality of only one of them was immediately known: Greek.

Why is this paragraph in there?  They make it sound as if paramount importance we know the nationality of everyone, and the horror of what nationalities might have traveled with the "Greek" in the ambulance.
 
2013-02-10 05:09:28 PM  
Also I will vote  i.imgur.com .  Practicing to save lives kills people instead seems pretty straightforward.
 
2013-02-10 05:13:34 PM  
That's why you put the women and children in the lifeboats first - to test the safety cables.
 
2013-02-10 05:46:32 PM  

syrynxx: That's why you put the women and children in the lifeboats first - to test the safety cables.


Hi-yo!
 
2013-02-10 05:47:28 PM  
Failronic
 
2013-02-10 05:47:56 PM  
And this was only a test. Imagine how many would have died in a real emergency!
 
2013-02-10 05:50:16 PM  
blogs.telegraph.co.uk

Was this guy in charge? DNRTFA
 
2013-02-10 05:50:27 PM  
Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?
 
2013-02-10 05:52:32 PM  
In order to save the lifeboat, we had to destroy the lifeboat.

I am coming to the conclusion that my own shipboard safety practices on a 40 footer are safer than those of a 800-foot cruise ship. Vada a bordo, cazzo!
 
2013-02-10 05:52:55 PM  

thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?


Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?
 
2013-02-10 05:54:47 PM  

jimmyego: The dead crewmen included three Indonesians, a Filipino and a Ghanian, authorities said. The three injured crew members were taken by ambulance to a hospital in La Palma and the nationality of only one of them was immediately known: Greek.

Why is this paragraph in there?  They make it sound as if paramount importance we know the nationality of everyone, and the horror of what nationalities might have traveled with the "Greek" in the ambulance.


These nationalities are equivalent to the "Red Shirts."
 
2013-02-10 05:57:25 PM  

RedPhoenix122: thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?

Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?


SyFy?
 
2013-02-10 06:00:16 PM  

RedPhoenix122: thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?

Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?


Asylum Films?
 
2013-02-10 06:03:26 PM  

jimmyego: Also I will vote  [i.imgur.com image 54x11] .  Practicing to save lives kills people instead seems pretty straightforward.


What if they were demonstrating the 'don't' procedure when it fell?

Like don't cut the cable with a hacksaw while loading folks into the vessel.
 
2013-02-10 06:03:47 PM  
Note to self- never take a European cruise.
 
2013-02-10 06:07:30 PM  
The ropes will only hold so many of those fat asses.  They need to have the drill BEFORE the buffets.

Hopefully this will be on YouTube.
 
2013-02-10 06:08:18 PM  

RedPhoenix122: thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?

Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?


Patton Oswalt could use this.

"Death Boat: The Boat That Kills People!"
 
2013-02-10 06:13:28 PM  

RedPhoenix122: thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?

Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?


Sounds like a Tromasterpiece. But it has to be about a guy who was bitten by a radioactive boat and now turns into a half-boat half-man that takes down crime by killing scumbags while spouting nautical puns.
 
2013-02-10 06:14:33 PM  
This was the photo included in the BBC story, taken by a passenger:

news.bbcimg.co.uk

That's a wire rope.  I don't want to know just how shiattily it was maintained to allow it to snap like that.
 
2013-02-10 06:19:12 PM  
Calling it a lifeboat "drill" was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

/Self-filling in this case.
 
2013-02-10 06:19:22 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: Note to self- never take a European cruise.


Read this if you want that idea reinforced:

www.neontommy.com

Cruise ships are like a legal black hole.
 
2013-02-10 06:26:23 PM  

Valiente: In order to save the lifeboat, we had to destroy the lifeboat.

I am coming to the conclusion that my own shipboard safety practices on a 40 footer are safer than those of a 800-foot cruise ship. Vada a bordo, cazzo!


Ditto. Thirty-two foot vessel here and no deaths. And we do a MOB every March right after we splash the boat. But we don't have any Greeks onboard either.
 
2013-02-10 06:30:47 PM  
Why limit the patriot preppers to a citadel in Iowa, there needs to be a large ocean going vessel, too.  Instead of a gun factory, how about a coffin manufacturing concern like described in Moby Dick.

When they get really scared of the Obama administration, they could sail for a country more welcoming like Somalia.
 
2013-02-10 06:34:03 PM  

jimmyego: The dead crewmen included three Indonesians, a Filipino and a Ghanian, authorities said. The three injured crew members were taken by ambulance to a hospital in La Palma and the nationality of only one of them was immediately known: Greek.

Why is this paragraph in there?  They make it sound as if paramount importance we know the nationality of everyone, and the horror of what nationalities might have traveled with the "Greek" in the ambulance.


It's part of an established British seafaring tradition:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lascar
 
2013-02-10 06:38:15 PM  
Ironic, for once, but also a fail.  The two are not mutually exclusive.  In fact irony often leads to failure.
 
2013-02-10 06:39:13 PM  
Chinchillazilla: Investigators were trying to determine what caused the lifeboat to plummet into the water.

Gravity. Case closed.
 
2013-02-10 06:45:47 PM  
Those five need more practice.
 
2013-02-10 07:00:26 PM  
Woulda been way funnier if it had been Chinese.
 
2013-02-10 07:12:41 PM  

SpdrJay: Woulda been way funnier if it had been Chinese.


Why?  because their ships are junk(s)?

/sorry...
 
2013-02-10 07:16:28 PM  
Cruise ships are fun, but can be scary.  Here in Florida we usually get to hear one or two stories a year where happy couple X goes on a cruise and one of them mysteriously disappears in the middle of the night.  The rails are only about waist or stomach height ... so I can see someone getting drunk and falling (pushed) over the side very easily.
 
2013-02-10 07:17:12 PM  
i.imgur.com
CAAAAAARL!
 
2013-02-10 07:21:33 PM  

RedPhoenix122: thepeterd: Shouldn't it be renamed a deathboat?

Deathboat sounds like a cheesy horror movie... Who can we pitch this to?


It's not a proper death boat without the death spa.
 
2013-02-10 07:24:37 PM  
I guess those crew members
*takes off sunglasses*
Didn't have a Lust for Life.

Yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhj!
 
2013-02-10 07:28:02 PM  
img2u.info
"Thomson Cruises? Really?"
 
2013-02-10 07:51:55 PM  

Inigo: CAAAAAARL!


Hahahaha, yes.
 
2013-02-10 08:18:17 PM  
Neither. It was an accident. It was sad.
 
2013-02-10 08:20:57 PM  

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: [blogs.telegraph.co.uk image 620x388]

Was this guy in charge? DNRTFA


No, if it was he woulda been the first one in the lifeboat.
 
2013-02-10 09:10:43 PM  
Clearly their lifeboat drills need some work.
 
2013-02-10 09:16:30 PM  

Iron Felix: jimmyego: The dead crewmen included three Indonesians, a Filipino and a Ghanian, authorities said. The three injured crew members were taken by ambulance to a hospital in La Palma and the nationality of only one of them was immediately known: Greek.

Why is this paragraph in there?  They make it sound as if paramount importance we know the nationality of everyone, and the horror of what nationalities might have traveled with the "Greek" in the ambulance.

These nationalities are equivalent to the "Red Shirts."


Cruel, but in the context of the maritime industries, fair.
 
2013-02-10 09:23:51 PM  

Boonlert Boonpan: Valiente: In order to save the lifeboat, we had to destroy the lifeboat.

I am coming to the conclusion that my own shipboard safety practices on a 40 footer are safer than those of a 800-foot cruise ship. Vada a bordo, cazzo!

Ditto. Thirty-two foot vessel here and no deaths. And we do a MOB every March right after we splash the boat. But we don't have any Greeks onboard either.


We do MOBs with a hat and a quick-stop on the sails. But it's usually May as we don't launch until late April.

This year my 11 year old is going to run the "come about and quick stop...get the hat/life ring/cooler half full of beer".
 
2013-02-10 09:57:15 PM  
As a former Cruise Ship employee and "Life Boat Captain", I'm honestly surprised this didn't happen more often.  I was a DJ on ships, which meant I usually went to sleep at about 4AM, and I was quite hammered 99% of the time.  Life boat drills happened before every cruise with the passengers, but the drills where we actually lowered them in to the water were once a month, and nearly always started at 8AM in one port or another.  So imagine me on 4 hours of sleep and still drunk being in charge of all this (because I could speak English, that's why) and, well, I'm seriously surprised I never killed anyone.

No excuses - I was young, dumb and full of - well nothing because I got laid a lot - but really the drinking and constant sex were the only things I cared about.  Safety?  Pffft.
 
2013-02-10 10:08:43 PM  
Interesting, in an actual event the deaths probably wouldn't have occurred as the cable snapped when they were hoisting the lifeboats back onto the ship, which wouldn't have happened in a real emergency.
 
2013-02-10 11:55:15 PM  
Man, it was the first day for a new crew on a Florida-based cruiseilner today and this headline worried me for a second :P

/worried me that the Florida tag wasn't nominated
 
2013-02-11 12:50:45 AM  
Now correct me if I'm wrong (my only experience with abandon ship procedures was when they taught us how to jump off the side with a CO2 and not break your neck in the process, our lifeboats were those crappy barrels that had an inflatable in them), but aren't lifeboats supposed to be designed to survive with their human cargo intact when dropped from the davit?  Because, you know, if the ship is sinking anyways, you know everything on that ship is on Murphy's radar, so while it'd be NICE to gently deposit the lifeboat in the ocean, chances are damn near certain that at least ONE lifeboat's going to fall from deck height, and it'd be nice if the passengers on it didn't go all squashy (like these did)
 
2013-02-11 12:56:20 AM  

Agatha Crispy: Neither. It was an accident. It was sad.


(welcometofark.jpg)

/That's all you get; I'm feeling lazy
 
2013-02-11 03:09:07 AM  

g4lt: Now correct me if I'm wrong (my only experience with abandon ship procedures was when they taught us how to jump off the side with a CO2 and not break your neck in the process, our lifeboats were those crappy barrels that had an inflatable in them), but aren't lifeboats supposed to be designed to survive with their human cargo intact when dropped from the davit?  Because, you know, if the ship is sinking anyways, you know everything on that ship is on Murphy's radar, so while it'd be NICE to gently deposit the lifeboat in the ocean, chances are damn near certain that at least ONE lifeboat's going to fall from deck height, and it'd be nice if the passengers on it didn't go all squashy (like these did)


Did you see the pic of the rope? How about one end of the boat drops first, depositing crew into the sea, neatly followed by the boat itself?
 
2013-02-11 03:09:58 AM  

NEDM: This was the photo included in the BBC story, taken by a passenger:



That's a wire rope.  I don't want to know just how shiattily it was maintained to allow it to snap like that.


It looks right and proper to my eyes, Captain.
 
2013-02-11 03:32:33 AM  

g4lt: aren't lifeboats supposed to be designed to survive with their human cargo intact when dropped


Not from 65 feet over the water.
 
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