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(Cracked)   6 examples of real people who took helicopter parenting way too far   (cracked.com) divider line 19
    More: Weird, Too Far, helicopter parenting, Easter egg hunts  
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21913 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2013 at 3:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-09 03:37:52 PM  
6 votes:
Some of them then sit in on the interview itself and will actually attempt to negotiate salary and benefits on behalf of their children

Fark that, I'd be all "Get out of my office and take your kid with you.  If little Destiny here can't be left alone for a few minutes there's no way she's cut out to be a pole dancer."
2013-02-09 03:24:48 PM  
4 votes:
My mom hacked a Cracked article into a single page for me.
2013-02-09 05:38:11 PM  
3 votes:

namegoeshere: #6, the baseball one, would have made a great 80's movie. Except for the whole stalking thing, I kinda liked it. Take all the loser kids who were kicked off their own teams, train them right up (in my movie this would involve hiring a disgraced former major league star now a scruffy boozehound to coach) and make them kick ass... the skull and crossbones is a nice touch I thought.


Man, that would be interesting. Those kids sound like bad news.
2013-02-09 04:13:42 PM  
3 votes:
All this talk of "helicopter parenting" makes me want to see Pixar make a movie about a young helicopter who wants to go out into the world but his overprotective parent helicopters won't let him.

The young helicopter could be a bubble-cockpit copter (like the ones from M*A*S*H), and the parents could be a news copter and a firefighting water-dropping copter.
2013-02-09 01:03:34 PM  
3 votes:
I caught a student plagiarizing a paper once; she just copied and pasted an article, added an intro and conclusion, and submitted it.  The writing went from barely coherent, to way too advanced for an undergrad, and then back to barely coherent again, so it was pretty clear that whoever wrote the middle did not write the beginning or end.  Five seconds on Google found the original article.

I gave the student a zero for the assignment, printed out the article that she had copied, and stapled it to the paper before returning it, with a note saying that I could not give the student credit for someone else's work.

The next day, mom called the school, complained to the Chair of the department, demanding that I be fired, and when that didn't work (because I always report plagiarism to the department even before returning it to the student, so the Chair knew what was up), mom started sending me nasty emails claiming that "evil triumphed over good" and other such ridiculous crap.

I was tempted to write back, explaining that her kid was not only so incompetent that she couldn't write an undergrad paper without cheating, but even more incompetent for doing it in such a ham-handed, obvious way, so she had obviously failed as a mother, and if she was going to teach her kid to be a filthy cheater, she should at least teach the kid to be good at it.

Instead, I sent an email saying "I'm sorry, but it is University policy to not discuss student performance with anyone other than the student."
2013-02-09 04:10:59 PM  
2 votes:

FloydA: I caught a student plagiarizing a paper once; she just copied and pasted an article, added an intro and conclusion, and submitted it.  The writing went from barely coherent, to way too advanced for an undergrad, and then back to barely coherent again, so it was pretty clear that whoever wrote the middle did not write the beginning or end.  Five seconds on Google found the original article.

I gave the student a zero for the assignment, printed out the article that she had copied, and stapled it to the paper before returning it, with a note saying that I could not give the student credit for someone else's work.

The next day, mom called the school, complained to the Chair of the department, demanding that I be fired, and when that didn't work (because I always report plagiarism to the department even before returning it to the student, so the Chair knew what was up), mom started sending me nasty emails claiming that "evil triumphed over good" and other such ridiculous crap.

I was tempted to write back, explaining that her kid was not only so incompetent that she couldn't write an undergrad paper without cheating, but even more incompetent for doing it in such a ham-handed, obvious way, so she had obviously failed as a mother, and if she was going to teach her kid to be a filthy cheater, she should at least teach the kid to be good at it.

Instead, I sent an email saying "I'm sorry, but it is University policy to not discuss student performance with anyone other than the student."


CSB:

My professor told us about a time he was in college, and his roommate gave him a paper and said "here, read this for me, tell me what you think." So he read the first page, and looked to his roommate, and said it was very good, but I know you didn't write it. He grabbed a book from his shelf and pointed to the paper in the book.

The roommate admitted to it, and then asked if my professor thought the roommate's prof. would notice. My professor asked "your prof. he has bushy white hair, right?"

"yeah"

"His name is Professor X, right?"

"Yeah, you know him?"

Here my prof gave some consideration to saying "no, he won't notice," but instead told the truth and said "Your professor wrote this book."

/CSB
2013-02-09 03:57:12 PM  
2 votes:
i.crackedcdn.com
Damn, mom's hot!
2013-02-09 03:47:41 PM  
2 votes:
When I was five, I made a bow and arrow out of a rake handle, a bungee cord duck tape, and a curtain rod hammered to a point. from about ten feet away it would stick two inches into solid wood. My dad told me not to point it at anyone and to go have fun hunting porcupines. That's how you raise a kid.
2013-02-09 03:46:10 PM  
2 votes:
Mom Hacks School Computer, Changes Grades

pc-museum.com
2013-02-09 03:34:38 PM  
2 votes:
Oh look, a list that we can actually comment on. Never have I been so happy to see a Cracked link.
2013-02-10 07:16:51 AM  
1 votes:
Kids need to understand how important their parents' self-esteem is. When they failed the easter egg hunt I was so ashamed I locked myself in my room. Then they trivialize my plight with all kinds of lies like "I'm hungry!" but they just don't understand my generation!
2013-02-09 10:28:56 PM  
1 votes:

stiletto_the_wise: austerity101: namegoeshere: Bosses really hire snowflakes who can't handle the interview process without mommy? Because that would be a big fat NO FARKING WAY for me.

Seriously.  Companies actually involve the  parents of applicants now?  Willingly?  I can't imagine hiring  anyone whose parents were ever explicitly or obviously involved in the application process.  One phone call, one email, one parental visit to the office and any semblance of a chance at getting a job with me is permanently destroyed.

If I ever had a job candidate bring along mommy or daddy, I'd have fun with it. "So, Mackenzee, would you say you're skilled at working independently, without supervision?"

No way I'd hire ANYONE who would get their parents involved in the process, unless she had enormous tits and thighs that didn't touch.


How many people who fit that description would be willing to work in the type of fast food restaurant that would put someone like you in charge?
2013-02-09 05:07:29 PM  
1 votes:
scrapetv.com
2013-02-09 04:19:11 PM  
1 votes:

Ego edo infantia cattus: When I was five, I made a bow and arrow out of a rake handle, a bungee cord duck tape, and a curtain rod hammered to a point. from about ten feet away it would stick two inches into solid wood.


No, it wouldn't.
2013-02-09 03:45:49 PM  
1 votes:

WhyteRaven74: Father of William James Sidis indefensibly absent


Andy Samberg stars as Amazing Willie> coming to FOX this fall.
2013-02-09 03:40:08 PM  
1 votes:

Fark Rye For Many Whores: the supposedly untraceable phone he was using to carry out his insane vendetta was, in fact, quite traceable,

No shiat. How was that supposed to work?


It seemed legit. That Craigslist ad was very specific about how untraceable the phone was, and why else would it cost $2k?
wee
2013-02-09 02:30:47 PM  
1 votes:
It's not Fark, it's cracked.com.
2013-02-09 12:57:12 PM  
1 votes:
Father of William James Sidis indefensibly absent
2013-02-09 12:50:07 PM  
1 votes:
My brother and his wife raised my niece to care way too much about what other people think of her and that there's nothing in the world worse than being fat, and now she's had to drop out of college to go into an inpatient facility for anorexia. Yay helicopter parenting!
 
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