If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(UPI)   Novelist Patricia Cornwell alleges her financial advisors improperly spent $89 million of her money. Tag used because Patricia Cornwell has sold enough of her shiatty novels to have $89 million to blow   (upi.com) divider line 54
    More: Asinine, Patricia Cornwell, Novelist Patricia, novelists, financial adviser, Kay Scarpetta, New York Daily News  
•       •       •

1798 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Feb 2013 at 2:04 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-09 09:08:37 AM  
What have you published  Subby?
 
2013-02-09 09:39:43 AM  
As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's also very good at putting out things people want to read.
 
2013-02-09 09:47:38 AM  
In addition to books, she gets paid for having her stories made into Lifetime movies, etc., and I bet at least one of her characters has been optioned into a TV show, whether it got made or not. She gets paid.

I don't read her stuff, but my wife does. Nothing wrong with an artist actually getting paid for her work.
 
2013-02-09 12:36:48 PM  

Vodka Zombie: As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's also very good at putting out things people want to read.


QFT
 
2013-02-09 12:45:47 PM  
I like her books.  I can usually finish one in a day.  She's not Shakespeare, but then again I don't read her stuff if I want to read the classics.  If I want to read classic literature, I'll pick up Hamlet or 1984 or Slaughterhouse-Five.  If you don't like her work, that's cool, no one has to like absolutely everything that's ever been created, artistically.  I just don't see the point in mocking the fact she's made more money than any of us or our children or even our grandchildren will ever see in their lifetimes.
 
2013-02-09 02:07:54 PM  

Coco LaFemme: If you don't like her work, that's cool, no one has to like absolutely everything that's ever been created, artistically.


No, I demand everyone like only the things I like, or I will rage on the intertubes and mock them with extreme sarcasm.
 
2013-02-09 02:20:27 PM  

Vodka Zombie: As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's her editors are also very good at putting out things people want to read.


FTFY.
 
2013-02-09 02:23:57 PM  
They may be shiatty, but she makes up for it in volume.
 
2013-02-09 02:25:55 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Vodka Zombie: As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's also very good at putting out things people want to read.

QFT


I met her at a book signing several years ago and I concur with the "flake" sentiment. Nice lady, but just a half bubble off plumb. I talked with her driver for a few minutes in the parking lot(it wasn't hard to figure out who the limo belonged to) and he said she wasn't very talkative, but pleasant.


/read several of her books
//not ashamed of it, either
 
2013-02-09 02:26:12 PM  
I also have a theory about inexplicably popular media. People don't actually consume popular media because they like popular media; they consume popular media because they think everybody else is consuming it, because advertisers tell them everybody is consuming it, and they don't want to be that weird person who actually likes something different.

Authors don't make blockbusters. Advertisers do.
 
2013-02-09 02:29:38 PM  

ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?


This always strikes me as an incredibly lazy defense.  I've never been a Chancellor of Germany, but I'm quite happy to pass judgement on at least one of them.

Go on, guess which one.
 
2013-02-09 02:30:10 PM  

LoneWolf343: I also have a theory about inexplicably popular media. People don't actually consume popular media because they like popular media; they consume popular media because they think everybody else is consuming it, because advertisers tell them everybody is consuming it, and they don't want to be that weird person who actually likes something different.

Authors don't make blockbusters. Advertisers do.


Oprah liked it, so I must like it too!
 
2013-02-09 02:30:19 PM  
I used to read her books; they are like potato chips, bad for you but sometimes you enjoy them. Then I read some book of hers with the word "Dog" in the title and it was so bad I swore off her books forever. Still, she's not as bad as Ann Rule. That woman's writing is horrendous. Or Jean M. Auel, which is a shame because her first book was decent but thirty years later, her last book sucked so bad I actually had to throw it away to keep it from destroying other books on my shelves.

I'm waiting for the next book in the Outlander series. That woman has managed to maintain the quality of her writing throughout the series, and the side books are nicely slashy, but if she doesn't get a move on with getting Jamie to the 20th century, I may give up.
 
2013-02-09 02:43:04 PM  
Apparently she needed to be advised as to how to hire an adviser.

I read a couple of her books................
s20.postimage.org

Now I just scan the $1 book rack for PC novels if I need an extra doorstop.
 
2013-02-09 02:46:28 PM  

silvervial: I used to read her books; they are like potato chips, bad for you but sometimes you enjoy them. Then I read some book of hers with the word "Dog" in the title and it was so bad I swore off her books forever. Still, she's not as bad as Ann Rule. That woman's writing is horrendous.


Ann Rule turned knowing Ted Bundy into a career as a bestselling author.  She's not a particularly good writer, but she had a sort of inside track with her first hit, so the masses believed that her next book must be just as insightful.

Cornwell is fine for brainless popcorn fun.  I got pretty ticked off at her Jack the Ripper book where she claimed to have solved the case.  Let's ignore the fact that the vast majority of Ripperologists responded with a statement along the lines of "Aw, isn't that cute?"  Within the text of her book, Cornwell admitted to ignoring historical facts to fit her theory.  Her suspect was not in the country for one of the murders according to the historical texts.  Cornwell shrugs that off with a well, "Well, records from that time could be wrong."
 
2013-02-09 02:47:17 PM  
This version of the lawsuit has more info:Link attorneys have described expenses including $40,000 a month for an apartment at Trump Tower in New York City, $200,000 in taxes alone for her customized, personal helicopter, $5million for private jets to ferry her across the country and $11million for private estates in Concord, Massachusetts.  A half million here, five million there, it adds up after a few years.
 
2013-02-09 02:48:28 PM  

silvervial: I'm waiting for the next book in the Outlander series. That woman has managed to maintain the quality of her writing throughout the series, and the side books are nicely slashy, but if she doesn't get a move on with getting Jamie to the 20th century, I may give up.


She promised us Jamie in VW Bug, dammit!
 
2013-02-09 02:53:29 PM  
silvervial:

I'm waiting for the next book in the Outlander series. That woman has managed to maintain the quality of her writing throughout the series, and the side books are nicely slashy, but if she doesn't get a move on with getting Jamie to the 20th century, I may give up.

I devoured the Outlander series this summer, I'm about 1/3 into An Echo in the Bone and panicked by the thought that I'm running out of books to read. Fantastic series! I wish HBO had bought the rights to the series and not Starz. (Shudders at their adaption of Pillars of the Earth).
 
2013-02-09 02:57:12 PM  
I read a Patricia Cornwell book a couple of years ago, one of the Scarpetta books. It was written well enough, as pop fiction, but it was ostensibly a mystery / detective novel, and it really, really was not. It was a soap opera drama that happened to be about a medical examiner. Still, I've read worse best-selling mystery novels, god knows.

Anne Rule is bad, but almost all True Crime books are incredibly poorly written. Nine times out of ten, the Wikipedia page about the same subject is more informative and better written.
 
2013-02-09 02:58:02 PM  

ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?


Whether he has or hasn't published works of his own, it doesn't invalidate his opinion.
 
2013-02-09 03:00:39 PM  
FTFA: "Cornwell said the mismanagement of her finances forced her to move and miss a deadline for a book for the first time in her career. She also said the upheaval upset her dog, Choo Choo"

Well, now that I know that, the case is clear.  Verdict in her favor!!
 
2013-02-09 03:08:28 PM  
At least she hasn't gone the Patterson route and started whoring out her name for a paycheck.

And her last book has circulated 167 times in our library system in the just under 4 months since its release.  Somebody out there likes her stuff.
 
2013-02-09 03:10:55 PM  

RandomAxe: I read a Patricia Cornwell book a couple of years ago, one of the Scarpetta books. It was written well enough, as pop fiction, but it was ostensibly a mystery / detective novel, and it really, really was not.


If I wanted to read poorly-written Mary Sue, I'd just go to AO3 or The Pit.

/Or read Twilight
//Do not need to know how sensual "Scarpetta's" blouse feels against her skin
 
2013-02-09 03:16:30 PM  
You would think a crime novelist would be a bit more savvy about such things. Or has "Castle" been lying to me!?
 
2013-02-09 03:18:05 PM  
Am i first one in the thread to point out she apparently has a wife?  That article needs more pictures of hot lesbian sex.
 
2013-02-09 03:22:30 PM  

T.rex: Am i first one in the thread to point out she apparently has a wife?  That article needs more pictures of hot lesbian sex.


Turfshoe FTFA: "Cornwell said the mismanagement of her finances forced her to move and miss a deadline for a book for the first time in her career. She also said the upheaval upset her dog, Choo Choo"
Well, now that I know that, the case is clear. Verdict in her favor!!


I am afraid to ask.......but I will.....what is her wife's name?
 
2013-02-09 03:41:17 PM  
Cornwell said the mismanagement of her finances forced her to move and miss a deadline for a book for the first time in her career. She also said the upheaval upset her dog, Choo Choo.

www.pageaday.com
 
2013-02-09 04:11:19 PM  
In other news, Patricia Cornwell qualifies as "Entertainment."

/DRTFA
 
2013-02-09 04:12:59 PM  

hollowmoon: silvervial:

I'm waiting for the next book in the Outlander series. That woman has managed to maintain the quality of her writing throughout the series, and the side books are nicely slashy, but if she doesn't get a move on with getting Jamie to the 20th century, I may give up.

I devoured the Outlander series this summer, I'm about 1/3 into An Echo in the Bone and panicked by the thought that I'm running out of books to read. Fantastic series! I wish HBO had bought the rights to the series and not Starz. (Shudders at their adaption of Pillars of the Earth).


Don't forget to read her side books about John. They are nice mysteries with some hints of and in later books full-on M/M sex, since John is gay. She did a lot of research on what it was like being gay back then. Really well written, just like the main series. I love all her stuff.

I too wish HBO had bought the books, but I will subscribe to Starz just to see Outlander.
 
2013-02-09 05:24:06 PM  
I read the first four Scarpetta books. By book 4, she was already rewriting book 2. I bailed. Too bad, because the first two were pretty solid.
 
2013-02-09 05:24:19 PM  

ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?


How many links have you had approved?

/See how idiotic and weak your argument is?
 
2013-02-09 05:34:29 PM  

rugman11: At least she hasn't gone the Patterson route and started whoring out her name for a paycheck.

And her last book has circulated 167 times in our library system in the just under 4 months since its release.  Somebody out there likes her stuff.



She's the female equivalent of Stephen King or John Grisham. Her stuff isn't particularly well written, but its just something for people to read an hour at a time before going to bed or something to grab at the airport before the plane takes off.

I'd bet at least 10% of her, King, Grisham, and Patterson's sales come from Trans-Atlantic passengers that are just trying to keep from being bored.
 
2013-02-09 06:01:38 PM  

homelessdude: T.rex: Am i first one in the thread to point out she apparently has a wife?  That article needs more pictures of hot lesbian sex.

Turfshoe FTFA: "Cornwell said the mismanagement of her finances forced her to move and miss a deadline for a book for the first time in her career. She also said the upheaval upset her dog, Choo Choo"
Well, now that I know that, the case is clear. Verdict in her favor!!

I am afraid to ask.......but I will.....what is her wife's name?


Dr. Staci Gruber:
bandp-book-dealers-int.com
 
2013-02-09 06:40:32 PM  

TeDDD: ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?

This always strikes me as an incredibly lazy defense.  I've never been a Chancellor of Germany, but I'm quite happy to pass judgement on at least one of them.

Go on, guess which one.




You managed to Godwin a thread out of the blue.
You deserve a special Ed trophy.
 
2013-02-09 08:10:50 PM  

varmitydog: This version of the lawsuit has more info:Link attorneys have described expenses including $40,000 a month for an apartment at Trump Tower in New York City, $200,000 in taxes alone for her customized, personal helicopter, $5million for private jets to ferry her across the country and $11million for private estates in Concord, Massachusetts.  A half million here, five million there, it adds up after a few years.


   Maybe now she'll reconsider the Birkenstock sponsorship..
 
2013-02-09 08:17:56 PM  

LoneWolf343: I also have a theory about inexplicably popular media. People don't actually consume popular media because they like popular media; they consume popular media because they think everybody else is consuming it, because advertisers tell them everybody is consuming it, and they don't want to be that weird person who actually likes something different.

Authors don't make blockbusters. Advertisers do.


I don't entirely agree.  Went to visit an in-law today, and she had a stack of Danielle Steele paperbacks a mile high.  I know she's read them all.  She doesn't care about advertising, it's just entertainment for her.  She's 87.
 
2013-02-09 08:50:31 PM  

TeDDD: ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?

This always strikes me as an incredibly lazy defense.  I've never been a Chancellor of Germany, but I'm quite happy to pass judgement on at least one of them.

Go on, guess which one.


Gerhard Schröder?
 
2013-02-09 08:52:25 PM  
Her books are fun to read.  They are easy.   There is a place for that.  It's called escape.  Same for  Patterson, Woods, etc.   Other books are mean't for thought.  She is a made for tv movie.  Other's are made for the Oscars.   But they both have a place.
 
2013-02-09 09:57:11 PM  

lasercannon: TeDDD: ginandbacon: What have you published  Subby?

This always strikes me as an incredibly lazy defense.  I've never been a Chancellor of Germany, but I'm quite happy to pass judgement on at least one of them.

Go on, guess which one.

Gerhard Schröder?


Naah, Bethmann-Hollweg was a lot worse.

/if he hadn't backed the Austrians on the Ultimatum to Serbia, WWI would never have happened
//and a certain Austrian corporal wouldn't have been gassed
 
2013-02-09 09:58:54 PM  
I prefer Kathy Reichs over Patricia, but don't get all the hate...her stuff isn't terrible...it's popular fiction.  It is to science/mysteries what Harlequins are to historic fiction...not well done and you can usually guess "who did it" and "how" a couple of chapters in, but they generally won't make you want to throw them away before finishing them.  On the upside, the books aren't apt to keep you awake at night on the "one more page/chapter" excuse like a John Saul or Dean Koontz, but they will due in a pinch.  I don't think I've ever paid full price for any of her books, either.
 
2013-02-09 11:07:54 PM  
"A Magnet paperback, in easy-to-read type, with no big words."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukptMif-9Xw
 
2013-02-09 11:24:19 PM  

coffee fiend: I met her at a book signing several years ago and I concur with the "flake" sentiment. Nice lady, but just a half bubble off plumb.


One of the things that came out in her legal filings is that she's bipolar and the whole point of having a money management company was that she can't be trusted with her own finances (a common problem for people with bipolar disorder).
 
2013-02-09 11:32:22 PM  
i've read two of her books now. the first had the worst, lamest ending i've ever seen. the second was so bad i immediately threw it in the recycling bin so it couldn't be passed on and allow anyone else to suffer.

/i seriously don't understand how she ever got published in the first place, or why they continue to allow it today
 
2013-02-10 12:41:00 AM  

LoneWolf343: Vodka Zombie: As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's her editors are also very good at putting out things people want to read.

FTFY.



Yeah. It's odd they even keep her around.
 
2013-02-10 12:49:14 AM  

Ed 'Too Tall' Jones: "A Magnet paperback, in easy-to-read type, with no big words."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukptMif-9Xw


Thanks for that! I was thinking about that exact skit a couple of days ago and I couldn't remember what it was from.
 
2013-02-10 01:47:24 AM  

Feral_and_Preposterous: LoneWolf343: Vodka Zombie: As an author, She's a first class flake, but she's her editors are also very good at putting out things people want to read.

FTFY.


Yeah. It's odd they even keep her around.


The name. It's why James Patterson has his name on the cover when he didn't type a letter of the book.

Huggermugger: LoneWolf343: I also have a theory about inexplicably popular media. People don't actually consume popular media because they like popular media; they consume popular media because they think everybody else is consuming it, because advertisers tell them everybody is consuming it, and they don't want to be that weird person who actually likes something different.

Authors don't make blockbusters. Advertisers do.

I don't entirely agree.  Went to visit an in-law today, and she had a stack of Danielle Steele paperbacks a mile high.  I know she's read them all.  She doesn't care about advertising, it's just entertainment for her.  She's 87.


I don't meant to imply that everyone who likes such and such popular author is automatically sheep, because that would just be as bad as actually being the sheep in question. Any healthily-cultured person is going to like some popular stuff and hate other popular stuff, and likewise like some obscure stuff while hating other obscure stuff. I'm trying to explain why I think some objectively undeserving producers are so wildly popular.
 
2013-02-10 08:51:11 AM  

Earguy: In addition to books, she gets paid for having her stories made into Lifetime movies, etc., and I bet at least one of her characters has been optioned into a TV show, whether it got made or not. She gets paid.

I don't read her stuff, but my wife does. Nothing wrong with an artist actually getting paid for her work.


A Dog Took My Face and Gave Me a Better Face to Save the World

Side note: if you haven't seen The Governor's Wife with Marilu Henner WATCH IT.
 
2013-02-10 09:03:00 AM  
At least she writes the books. James Patterson heads a studio of writers and slaps his name on the cover. He is mining adventure, young adult, romance, and generic literature.
 
2013-02-10 10:57:49 AM  

Son of Streak: I got pretty ticked off at her Jack the Ripper book where she claimed to have solved the case.  Let's ignore the fact that the vast majority of Ripperologists responded with a statement along the lines of "Aw, isn't that cute?"  Within the text of her book, Cornwell admitted to ignoring historical facts to fit her theory.  Her suspect was not in the country for one of the murders according to the historical texts.  Cornwell shrugs that off with a well, "Well, records from that time could be wrong."


I read that book as well.  I will never read anything written by her again.  She's not even a good enough author to write throw away greeting cards.  It's people like her that give journalism a bad name.

The most famous unsolved murder case in history is solved by a third rate hack who writes trashy spy/romance cotton candy books written specifically for middle aged women with a dozen or so too many cats.  And I was dumb enough to read it the whole way through.  They can't give her books away at the local library during their annual book sales.

She may be a nice person, but gawd don't sit her down with a pen and paper under any circumstances.
 
2013-02-10 01:44:03 PM  
So many snobs in here, proclaiming her work is "not well written."  I'd like to know how I can get copies of your critically acclaimed written works.
 
Displayed 50 of 54 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report