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(Denver Channel)   Super hot Spanish teacher has baby wi- look, we just need a teacher tag already   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 107
    More: Obvious, Super Hot, Greeley, Spanish, position of trust, Rhonda Eisenberg, teachers, baby  
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26128 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2013 at 9:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-09 07:53:20 AM
The "hot" meme is getting old, subbies of Fark. You know we don't fall for that shiat, yet you still do it.

/fark me, i still click it every time, knowing exactly what to expect
//tbh, we've seen far worse
 
2013-02-09 07:59:44 AM

casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse


I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?
 
2013-02-09 08:06:56 AM
I'd hit it, but my standards are pretty low.

/The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes
 
2013-02-09 08:26:10 AM
I'm in accord with the Teacher tag.
 
2013-02-09 08:52:32 AM

casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


17 is not a child and she did make a poor choice but does not deserve jail time, she has a baby to take care of.
 
2013-02-09 09:01:09 AM

casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


You have to have a metric. Otherwise why have any laws at all.
 
2013-02-09 09:23:20 AM
I am still mesmerized by her eyes.....

/Fark it, I am 52, so she looks hot to me
 
2013-02-09 09:24:01 AM

Smashed Hat: /The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes


A touch? Freud could write a book about those eyes..
 
2013-02-09 09:24:07 AM
*clicks link*

i1043.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-09 09:24:08 AM
One more story like this and it's a trifecta.
 
2013-02-09 09:25:35 AM
Obamanotbad.jpg
 
2013-02-09 09:27:11 AM
**sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker
 
2013-02-09 09:27:41 AM

Smashed Hat: I'd hit it, but my standards are pretty low.

/The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes



    She's right above John Brown and below Gary Busey...
 
2013-02-09 09:28:29 AM
MMMMMMMMILF
 
2013-02-09 09:28:34 AM
Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

i.i.com.com
 
2013-02-09 09:29:27 AM
Oh pfft.  You meant spanish teacher, not Spanish teacher.  BIG difference.
 
2013-02-09 09:30:16 AM
Seriously, where were all these moderately hot teachers willing to bang students when I was in high school? I would have given them the best 12 seconds of their life!
 
2013-02-09 09:31:26 AM
Look guys, they aren't' catching the pervs who rape babies so at least they can go after these teachers and up their conviction numbers. Then somehow they go home feeling pretty good about it.
 
2013-02-09 09:33:39 AM

dinch: Seriously, where were all these moderately hot teachers willing to bang students when I was in high school? I would have given them the best 12 seconds of their life!


I recall exactly one hot teacher and I'm pretty sure she was deeply religious based on her style of clothing.

The rest of my teachers were a host of orcs, trolls, demons, harpies, and gorgons. That includes the men as well.
 
2013-02-09 09:36:38 AM
Eisenberg says lets cook
 
2013-02-09 09:37:55 AM
They both get punished and the baby gets away scott free?
 
2013-02-09 09:40:02 AM
We need to start teaching our kids standards too...
 
2013-02-09 09:40:05 AM
"...A longtime Greeley Spanish teacher ..."

I know Castillian Spanish and Catalan Spanish... What's Greeley Spanish?
 
2013-02-09 09:40:17 AM
90 days in jail and probation

Exact same punishment a man would have received!
 
2013-02-09 09:40:54 AM

casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


Or even better, a 24 year old child who can still be on parent's Obamacare?  All examples of people incapable of taking care of themselves.  Gives the responsible of you at that age a bad reputation.

/was a welfare child, joined the military at 19, bought my first house at 21.  Suck it, basement failures.
 
2013-02-09 09:43:26 AM
Picture reminded me of this:  cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-02-09 09:43:32 AM
having a babby at 44 is damn foolish. i've seen co-workers in their early 20's barely getting through the day due to lack of sleep. and she's going to look so pretty at her childs high school graduation with white hair, rolling along in a wheel chair.
 
2013-02-09 09:44:29 AM
thelostclassics.com

DA FUQ
 
2013-02-09 09:46:39 AM

casual disregard: Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


17 is the age of consent in Colorado, so age is not the reason she is in trouble, she is in trouble because she was his teacher.  If she was out picking up and banging anonymous 17 year olds on the ski slopes she would be just fine.
 
2013-02-09 09:48:36 AM

casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 16-year old child and an 17-year old man

....
Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 15-year old child and an 17-year old man.....

Your reasoning doesn't differentiate between starting ages.
Can someone please explain why some vigorously defend only relationships between older women and adolescent males?
 
2013-02-09 09:50:48 AM

GORDON: casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

Or even better, a 24 year old child who can still be on parent's Obamacare?  All examples of people incapable of taking care of themselves.  Gives the responsible of you at that age a bad reputation.

/was a welfare child, joined the military at 19, bought my first house at 21, got to the gym in 26.  Suck it, basement failures.


FTFY
 
2013-02-09 09:51:36 AM

casual disregard: The "hot" meme is getting old


I was thinking a HotForTeacher tag would be more appropriate than simply just stating "hot".
Hotness after all,is experienced differently by each person, just like that guy in the Indian restaurant happily eating something that would reduce your skull to cinders.
 
2013-02-09 09:51:47 AM

neenerist: casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 16-year old child and an 17-year old man....
Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 15-year old child and an 17-year old man.....

Your reasoning doesn't differentiate between starting ages.
Can someone please explain why some vigorously defend only relationships between older women and adolescent males?


Because women are oh-so-vulnerable and must be protected from the penis before they are 18.
 
2013-02-09 09:54:30 AM
So is this kid going to have to pay child support for a rape baby for the next 18 years?
 
2013-02-09 09:55:09 AM

LoneWolf343: Because women are oh-so-vulnerable and must be protected from the penis before they are 18.


More so because young women are so much more fertile and yet unready to raise children.
Let them have a few years of maturiy before they all get turned into baby factories.
/and that doesn't even cover half of the problems that can come along with relationships with the immature.
 
2013-02-09 09:59:19 AM
"Can someone please explain why some vigorously defend only relationships between older women and adolescent males? "

Because those Farkers are guys who secretly hope that they will meet women who will give up sex as easily as these teachers, or they want to live vicariously through the kids. I believe a woman who has to seek out a kid for sexual satisfaction has some major issues.
 
2013-02-09 10:02:10 AM
Can't have people in positions of trust and power using that trust and power to get into their subject's pants. Like the person above said: if it was just some random 17-year-old picked up at the local Putt-Putt, no-one cares.
 
2013-02-09 10:07:37 AM

Wolf892: Hey, that sweet 16 girl's legs ARE gonna be spread, she IS going to get pregnant. this WILL happen. Now, who would you rather be the father, some pimply, stupid, immature 17 year old boy who will freak out and abandon her as soon as the kid is spit out, or some mature, 45 year old man who already owns his own house, his own car and has a steady well paying job?

Let's mix it up, let the cougers have the stupid pimply teen boys, and the older men get to have the young, fresh and still disease free teen girls. :P


haha, wow. Nicely done. Was genuinely creeped out for a second.
 
2013-02-09 10:08:42 AM
Tag the teachers, teaching Sex Ed to students for extra credit. It never came up when I was in school, As a teen I wasn't into women in their 40s or teachers. I was into teen girls in and the 6 surrounding high schools. No going back, now I'm in my 40s I don't find teens worth more than a glance let alone actually to talk to. Hey 17 yo guy it's not worth it for old piece of ass to get stuck with a kid. Wear a condom & keep you mouth shut.
 
2013-02-09 10:13:58 AM

bump: **sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker


You sir are 100% correct and if I was a wealthy man I would buy you a years subscription to fark. Or a whore, whichever was cheaper.

I realized this bit of wisdom a few years ago... the kicker is I'm about to be 31 in March.  In college I had tang falling out of my pockets. I was a pretty good man whore, to the point where more than once I had a girl in my room and things lasted a little longer than I'd planned, and the next girl was outside banging on the door. (if either girl would have found out - I'd have been boned in the bad kinda way)

Vaj is great - but after you go nuts for a few years, the honest to god truth is when you add up ALL the money, time, and energy you spent just so you can have an hour or two of crazy stinky fun... it's just not worth it.  Add in the risk of screwing around with a crazy woman, or worse, getting her pregnant. STD's sure don't add any fun to the mix.  I can honestly say most of the time I'd rather crank one out to internet porn, have some candy, and then play some Battlefield 3.  Keyword most of the time -- after a while you do have to get your dick wet just to remind yourself and your junk everything still works properly. I just think it's funny and sad the amount of energy or money men spend on women just for a CHANCE to stick her.  If you do get that chance, odds are she's going to get attached or go nuts on you at some point in the future.

And the kid was not raped -- I can promise you that. While she might have some crazy eyes and be older, any male from the age of 13 to 21 usually has a perpetual hardon and will take just about any opportunity to slam some ass (no matter how hot or ugly said ass happens to be) I do agree that the double standard thing is bullshiat... she gets 90 days in jail while if it was a 44 year old man he's get 90 years. This is just another facet of our system that tells me gender equality is something that will never happen especially when women get off so much easier in every facet of life due to their perceived fragility.

This lady screws someone who's just a few months from being legal -- i'd love a scientific explanation of what would have changed in those few months that would suddenly make him capable to "handling" a situation like that.

What I'm wondering about this article is will the "child" have to pay child support?
 
2013-02-09 10:14:47 AM
Como es babby formadas?
 
2013-02-09 10:16:34 AM
A fortnight ago on Shameless...
img.imageResizerActiveClass{cursor:nw-resize !important;outline:1px dashed black !important;} img.imageResizerChangedClass{z-index:300 !important;max-width:none !important;max-height:none !important;} img.imageResizerBoxClass{margin:auto; z-index:99999 !important; position:fixed; top:0; left:0; right:0; bottom:0; border:1px solid white; outline:1px solid black;}
 
2013-02-09 10:17:15 AM
Would have been hot if she taught Italian.
 
2013-02-09 10:21:37 AM

accelerus: This lady screws someone who's just a few months from being legal -- i'd love a scientific explanation of what would have changed in those few months that would suddenly make him capable to "handling" a situation like that.


Again, the kid was legal, the law that was broken is the law that says it is illegal for teachers to bang their students.

CSB
In 1990 before the internet and mass reporting of teacher banging, we had the same situation at my high school, female teacher in her late 20s was banging 18 year old high school senior.  She did not get jail time but she did get fired and stripped of her state teaching accreditation.
/CSB
 
2013-02-09 10:23:51 AM

bump: **sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker


You sound like someone who is/was married

Kids are a libido destroyer
 
2013-02-09 10:24:16 AM

AbbeySomeone: 17 is not a child and she did make a poor choice but does not deserve jail time, she has a baby to take care of.


She was a teacher, he was a student, and he was "living under her care" whatever the hell that means, but it doesn't sound good.  So far as I am concerned, her crime is not having sex with a 17 year old, but abusing her position of public trust.

There was another case of a teacher banging a 17 year old where people kept wanting to charge her with something, but it turned out that a) the kid had dropped out of school, so was not a student, b) he had never been her student in the first place, and c) he was above the age of consent in that state.  Now, I'm sure the whole incident made it into her next performance review in some form...
 
2013-02-09 10:26:58 AM
I remember having "hot" teachers in middle school and a few in high school. Too bad I was a sheltered little boy and didn't discover the power and awesomeness of sex.   I quite literally had to move away to college to finally get my first piece. It was like opening a flood gate though because I went crazy for a year or two, and my GPA reflected that.

I'm 31 and I'd bang her -- of course I wouldn't want to be on the hook paying for a baby so I'd probably use a condom, unless she promised me she was on the pill (LOL)

For being 44 - she has a great body, just a slightly less than hot face, sprinkle in crazy eyes... and you get her.

If I could go back in time and sleep with some of my hot or semi-hot teachers, I totally would.
 
2013-02-09 10:27:54 AM

accelerus: What I'm wondering about this article is will the "child" have to pay child support?


In Kansas, a kid was held liable for supporting his babysitter's child.  In that case, I really would have considered him the victim, since he was really young (14? 13?  Not sure) and she was in charge.
 
2013-02-09 10:37:21 AM

Smashed Hat: I'd hit it, but my standards are pretty low.

/The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes


A "touch"? Looks full blown nuts to me. Pun intended.
 
2013-02-09 10:42:29 AM

casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


Or 18 and 19?  The thing is, there isn't much difference in one year, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  Most people, at 44, if they are dating a teenager, are in it because they want a toy, not a real relationship.  There are two social pressures against this- the first is just social disapproval, being called a cradle robber and a creep.  The second is the law.  If someone isn't even able to restrain themselves when the law is involved, they have some serious boundary issues.  The law has to pick a clear number.  That doesn't mean it's not creepy when a 44 year old teacher has sex with a 19 year old college freshmen, just that we've decided that it's not so creepy that we need to arrest them (although firing is still an option, particularly if the teacher was in  a position of power over the student.

And in this case-

"Prosecutors said Eisenberg was a teacher at Northridge High School at the time, and the student was living under her care." 

She's got even worse boundary issues.  She used her position of authority, not just as a teacher, but as a parental figure.

Also, at 18, a lot of kids move out of the house.  They grow up a lot by living alone.  They start having real relationships.  Still, for just the creepy, probably not a balanced relationship issue, the half your age +7 rule is a pretty good rule of thumb.  We all like to think we are still young and hip, but if you turn that number around it creates some pretty creepy results.  Subtract 7 from your age and double it.
 
2013-02-09 10:43:58 AM
superhot no but would do
 
2013-02-09 10:50:02 AM

skinink: Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

[i.i.com.com image 384x512]


Huh - she's not stunning or something, but you know...yeah, for 44, she's pretty cute.  I'd certainly flirt with her at a bar.  Then again, half the women there alone would look just as good if not better anyway, but still - she's cute.  At least it's not the "hot" special ed teacher from yesterday...
 
2013-02-09 10:50:48 AM
Oh, you mean "COLORADO Super Hot"? That's a Florida 3.
 
2013-02-09 10:51:45 AM

accelerus: of course I wouldn't want to be on the hook paying for a baby so I'd probably use a condom, unless she promised me she was on the pill (LOL)


My promise turns 19 in July.
 
2013-02-09 10:51:54 AM
img.photobucket.com
/too literary?
 
2013-02-09 10:53:58 AM

HoratioGates: casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

Or 18 and 19?  The thing is, there isn't much difference in one year, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  Most people, at 44, if they are dating a teenager, are in it because they want a toy, not a real relationship.  There are two social pressures against this- the first is just social disapproval, being called a cradle robber and a creep.  The second is the law.  If someone isn't even able to restrain themselves when the law is involved, they have some serious boundary issues.  The law has to pick a clear number.  That doesn't mean it's not creepy when a 44 year old teacher has sex with a 19 year old college freshmen, just that we've decided that it's not so creepy that we need to arrest them (although firing is still an option, particularly if the teacher was in  a position of power over the student.

And in this case-

"Prosecutors said Eisenberg was a teacher at Northridge High School at the time, and the student was living under her care." 

She's got even worse boundary issues.  She used her position of authority, not just as a teacher, but as a parental figure.

Also, at 18, a lot of kids move out of the house.  They grow up a lot by living alone.  They start having real relationships.  Still, for just the creepy, probably not a balanced relationship issue, the half your age +7 rule is a pretty good rule of thumb.  We all like to think we are still young and hip, but if you turn that number around it creates some pretty creepy results.  Subtract 7 from your age and double it.


Meh... I'm 38, and in the past year, I've banged a 21 yr old guy and a 57 year old guy, the only difference was the older guy needs viagra to make him last. As long as you've got a spark, age really doesn't make a difference. When I was 16, I banged a guy who taught at my high school (didn't teach me, and I didn't meet him there) I was decent enough not to tell anybody about it. I think the double standard is stupid too, but I would have much lower sentences for men than they currently get. I would put 16 as the age limit though. Anything under 16, the men and women both get sent up the river for a long time, anything over that, they lose their job, serve a short sentence and probation, provided the teen testifies that they were DTF willingly and not intoxicated.
 
2013-02-09 10:54:20 AM
Jail time? Really? REALLY?

For farking a 17 year old young man?

You can join the military at 17. Where you are put in charge of millions of dollars of lethal equipment, put into situations where you are putting your life on the line or the lives of others.

And sorry, but sex is not the same thing for men and women. For women it is an invasive, receptive process, and if there is a pregnancy, they physically bear the consequences and are more likely to bear the emotional consequences. For males, it is a payload delivery in which they are for the most part, in control. And when they're done, they can walk away, physically and emotionally without any long term consequences (barring STD's of course). This is why there is more of a stigma when an older man farks a female student. A male has got to be a willing participant - must become sexually aroused - before he can put the wood to anyone.

So, tl;dr summary:

1) Boner generally indicates consent.
2) At age 17, people can join the military.
3) Sex for males = aggressive, penetrative act.
4) Sex for women = invasive, receptive act.
5) Women bear more consequences from sex than men (pregnancy, less apparent STDs which can go untreated).
 
2013-02-09 10:58:41 AM
"Hot Mess" is more like it.
 
2013-02-09 10:58:44 AM

MethylTryp: Picture reminded me of this:  [cdn.uproxx.com image 588x329]


Bravo, Sir!!!

Having a baby at that age is a guarantee that the child will be hideous looking and likely retarded.

/repeat
//mega-repeat
///4 times in the last 4 months
 
2013-02-09 11:16:40 AM
She doesn't look spanish
 
2013-02-09 11:17:27 AM

bump: **sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker


Serious (not snarky) question - have you had your hormone levels checked?

/another old farker.
 
2013-02-09 11:20:41 AM
Really, Fark?

media.thedenverchannel.comblog.ourstage.com

/standards are slipping like a dick stuck in crazy.
 
2013-02-09 11:21:37 AM

Mentalpatient87: Smashed Hat: /The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes

A touch? Freud could write a book about those eyes..


Ya, seriously.
/ I'd bang that like a screen door in a hurricane.
 
2013-02-09 11:24:52 AM
I feel a lot of pity for all the guys here who are saying they are bored with having real sex and would rather jerk off then watch TV. These are guys who might have had plenty of sex (and believe me, I was a bit of a whore myself in my 20s) but have clearly never had sex with someone they were truly, deeply in love with.

And let me tell you: Sex with The One is far, far better than anything else in life. When there's a deep emotional, philosophical, and perhaps even metaphysical connection between you and the woman you're with, it's a whole different thing from plain old sex. It's night and day.

And the thing is that these guys all seem to refer to women as "vag", "pussy", "gash", or some similarly derogatory term. This tells me they were treating women as masturbatory aids, not as partners, and the reason they're just as happy using their hand is because they wouldn't know good sex if burst into their room wearing a sash that said "this is good sex" while dancing the good sex dance on top of a giant, brightly-lit penis stage.

So yeah... I pity these men. What a sad existence to never know what intimacy actually feels like, or how kissing can be just as stimulating as orgasm if done with the right person, in the right way. How lonely it must be to think masturbation and video games is "easier" than forming a relationship with someone. How apathetic. How masochistic.

Yes, I'm judging them. Anyone who comes out publicly calling women "vag" or "gash" is asking-- nay,  begging -- for someone to point it out and call them on it. If that's all women ever were to you, then  surprise surprise!  Sex WOULD get boring, because you never invested yourself in it beyond the nerve endings on your dick.

And you wonder why women get lesser sentences in these cases? It's because deep down, any judge or jury knows that the woman was still there with her heart on her sleeve, making love and getting caught up in a romantic fantasy, while the guy was only saying what he needed to "getting his dick wet", as you so brutishly put it.

Here's a hint: If your only goal in sex is for you to have an orgasm, you're doing it wrong.

/And if you spend less than an hour making love (foreplay included), you're doing it badly.
//Some of you might as well just buy a Real Doll. That's what you treat your women like, anyway.
 
2013-02-09 11:25:10 AM

Valiente: Really, Fark?

[media.thedenverchannel.com image 320x240][blog.ourstage.com image 519x390]

/standards are slipping like a dick stuck in crazy.


Huh. It's like a time machine. With a mirror.
 
2013-02-09 11:30:41 AM

skinink: Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

[i.i.com.com image 384x512]


I'd nail her but it appears I'm too old.
 
2013-02-09 11:35:21 AM

casual disregard: Valiente: Really, Fark?

[media.thedenverchannel.com image 320x240][blog.ourstage.com image 519x390]

/standards are slipping like a dick stuck in crazy.

Huh. It's like a time machine. With a mirror.


Some call it the Retardis.
 
2013-02-09 11:38:02 AM

ZeroCorpse: I feel a lot of pity for all the guys here who are saying they are bored with having real sex and would rather jerk off then watch TV. These are guys who might have had plenty of sex (and believe me, I was a bit of a whore myself in my 20s) but have clearly never had sex with someone they were truly, deeply in love with.

And let me tell you: Sex with The One is far, far better than anything else in life. When there's a deep emotional, philosophical, and perhaps even metaphysical connection between you and the woman you're with, it's a whole different thing from plain old sex. It's night and day.

And the thing is that these guys all seem to refer to women as "vag", "pussy", "gash", or some similarly derogatory term. This tells me they were treating women as masturbatory aids, not as partners, and the reason they're just as happy using their hand is because they wouldn't know good sex if burst into their room wearing a sash that said "this is good sex" while dancing the good sex dance on top of a giant, brightly-lit penis stage.

So yeah... I pity these men. What a sad existence to never know what intimacy actually feels like, or how kissing can be just as stimulating as orgasm if done with the right person, in the right way. How lonely it must be to think masturbation and video games is "easier" than forming a relationship with someone. How apathetic. How masochistic.

Yes, I'm judging them. Anyone who comes out publicly calling women "vag" or "gash" is asking-- nay,  begging -- for someone to point it out and call them on it. If that's all women ever were to you, then  surprise surprise!  Sex WOULD get boring, because you never invested yourself in it beyond the nerve endings on your dick.

And you wonder why women get lesser sentences in these cases? It's because deep down, any judge or jury knows that the woman was still there with her heart on her sleeve, making love and getting caught up in a romantic fantasy, while the guy was only saying what he needed to "g ...


Shouldn't you be off jerking off to iCarly DVDs?
 
2013-02-09 11:39:10 AM

KrispyKritter: having a babby at 44 is damn foolish. i've seen co-workers in their early 20's barely getting through the day due to lack of sleep. and she's going to look so pretty at her childs high school graduation with white hair, rolling along in a wheel chair.


My dad was 39 when I was born in 1971. He's still around, still doing fine, lives in his own house with my mom, and wasn't in a wheelchair when I was 18.

How old do you think 44 is, anyway? She's going to be 62 at her child's graduation. I don't know that many 62-year-olds today who are wheelchair-bound because of the frailty of age. You act like 62 is ancient and elderly, when it's barely out of middle-age these days.

I'm 42. My fiancee and I are discussing having a kid, and yes- We know there's a risk and we're willing to try anyway, and we'll deal with the negative issue if it does come up. I do realize that I'll be in my 60s when my kid reaches adulthood. So what? What the hell else am I going to do in my 50s? I'm starting late, and that's fine with me.

As for your coworkers, maybe they're in the wrong line of work, or maybe 20-somethings don't know how to budget their time wisely like an older parent would. I'm willing to bet they're trying to fit in partying and socializing with child-rearing and work. At 42, I'm past the point where I give a damn about partying, and most of my socializing is done at work or with my girl.

For some people, life begins at 40. Especially once the divorce is final.
 
2013-02-09 11:40:42 AM

DoctorCal: Shouldn't you be off jerking off to iCarly DVDs?


Oh. Did I hit a nerve?
 
2013-02-09 11:41:34 AM
Why is the state rewarding her for farking one of her underage students?  It seems to me that making this woman stay in Greeley, CO would be a far better punishment than taking her to jail.
 
2013-02-09 11:48:20 AM

skinink: Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

[i.i.com.com image 384x512]


Maybe it's because I am in my late 30s, but that woman is very well put together for 44.  I don't get all the hate.  You guys do realize women age, right?  Women don't have to be 20 to be attractive.
 
2013-02-09 11:52:31 AM
90 farking days!?!

I'll start taking feminists seriously when they finally admit that this kind of thing is farking horseshiat.
 
2013-02-09 12:00:21 PM

Frozboz: skinink: Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

[i.i.com.com image 384x512]

Maybe it's because I am in my late 30s, but that woman is very well put together for 44.  I don't get all the hate.  You guys do realize women age, right?  Women don't have to be 20 to be attractive.


As I pointed out earlier, we're in a thread with several guys who never seem to refer to women as "women", but instead as "vag", "gash", "pussy", etc. You're surprised by the way they view this woman?

And apparently, to them, we guys who find women in their 40s attractive are the ones who are defective. Go figure.
 
2013-02-09 12:04:44 PM

ZeroCorpse: DoctorCal: Shouldn't you be off jerking off to iCarly DVDs?

Oh. Did I hit a nerve?


LOL. Hardly.
 
2013-02-09 12:05:33 PM

umad: 90 farking days!?!

I'll start taking feminists seriously when they finally admit that this kind of thing is farking horseshiat.


Again, the crime wasn't statutory rape. 17 is legal there. The crime was that she was a teacher and he was a student in her care at some point during the relationship. So the punishment is not for having sex with an underage person. The punishment is for abusing her authority as a teacher.

"attempted sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

He was old enough to give consent by state law, but since he was her student at the time the law says he's not  allowed  to give consent.
 
2013-02-09 12:06:25 PM
Teacher Tag: David Lee Roth giving a Thumbs-Up.
 
2013-02-09 12:14:19 PM
Seconded for the Teacher tag. It is past time to introduce a new one anyhow.
 
2013-02-09 12:17:20 PM
This will inevitably breed a "Florida Teacher" tag, right? I suggest "Floreacher", because it sounds like a Spanish crapper cleanser.
 
2013-02-09 12:22:11 PM

Frozboz: skinink: Not bad. Don't knock her being 44, at least she'll have more experience with sex.

[i.i.com.com image 384x512]

Maybe it's because I am in my late 30s, but that woman is very well put together for 44.  I don't get all the hate.  You guys do realize women age, right?  Women don't have to be 20 to be attractive.



Hell yes. She's quite bangable. I'd have been a wall of silence if someone in authority tried to get me to incriminate her for it when I was 17 too.
 
2013-02-09 12:26:20 PM
I'm glad this country hires nothing but the brightest minds to teach our children. They have come through the University system being taught how to get the teachers Union on their side, how to beg for money, how to make themselves look like they are not treated fairly. All of which they handle perfectly. So why can't they figure out THEY CAN"T TOUCH THE KIDS????!!!!!
 
2013-02-09 12:30:55 PM

bump: **sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker


"Getting stinky on your hang down"

Awsome album title. Thanks for the laugh.
 
2013-02-09 12:31:31 PM

casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?




Labor force measures are based on the civilian noninstitutional population 16 years old and over. Excluded are persons under 16 years of age, all persons confined to institutions such as nursing homes and prisons, and persons on active duty in the Armed Forces.
 
FLM
2013-02-09 12:31:40 PM
A teacher tag does seem necessary, unfortunately.
 
2013-02-09 12:42:54 PM
Prosecutors did not release any information about the baby.Other than to say it was delicious, that is.
 
2013-02-09 12:49:49 PM

ZeroCorpse: I feel a lot of pity for all the guys here who are saying they are bored with having real sex and would rather jerk off then watch TV. These are guys who might have had plenty of sex (and believe me, I was a bit of a whore myself in my 20s) but have clearly never had sex with someone they were truly, deeply in love with.


OK - I was working on some witty prose then I read your post and I gave up. I just couldn't have said it better.

After 20 years and 3 kids, we still have the love, passion and spark to power an active love life. Rubbing one off in front of teh pronz is no replacement for the intimacy of long, sweaty evenings in the arms of my wife.
 
2013-02-09 12:50:14 PM

FLM: A teacher tag does seem necessary, unfortunately.




But that might, suspend, some of the "punchlines."
 
2013-02-09 01:14:15 PM

casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


You can't make laws that cover 100% of the citizenry. Why judges should have informed discretion.
 
2013-02-09 01:42:11 PM

Igor Jakovsky: So is this kid going to have to pay child support for a rape baby for the next 18 years?


You know what? Seeing as how I'm sure he's not being held accountable for anything, and she's getting jail time... why the fark not?

If we live in a world where men who are found not to be the biological fathers of their children, and yet still made to pay child support...
 
2013-02-09 02:00:52 PM

jpo2269: Why is the state rewarding her for farking one of her underage students?  It seems to me that making this woman stay in Greeley, CO would be a far better punishment than taking her to jail.


That's greality
 
2013-02-09 02:05:52 PM
To Farkettes here assembled -

WTH is this phenomenon? Any clues? Thoughts?
 
2013-02-09 02:14:01 PM
In the eyes of a typical 17 year old hetero male any woman under 200lbs is hot.
 
2013-02-09 02:21:47 PM
x70.xanga.com
 
2013-02-09 02:38:06 PM
Is this where we post our hot spanish (an/or Spanish) teacher stores?  Well OK, then:

It was 1976, and I was a HS student in a podunk cold-as-hell, middle of nowhere Wisconsin town.  My junior year, Senorita Morgan arrived to teach Spanish and star in countless teenage male masturbatory fantasies.  She was 22, just out of college, and a fierce feminist, which in 1976 meant that school administrators better damn well not even think about hinting that she ought to wear a bra with that thin cotton shirt.  She was tall, 5'6-5'8ish, with long jet-black hair, ice-blue eyes.  And she was built like a brick shiathouse, making her incapable of writing on a blackboard without wriggling her ass.  If I had a peso for every time we asked her "deletrear fonéticamente, por favor," I would be a very rich man.  I had her for two classes, back-to-back: Advanced Spanish, and Conversational Spanish, which were in separate classrooms.  I would wait until she left Adv. Spanish and follow her down the hallway and then up the stairs to the next class, my eyes glued to her amazing ass.  That was the first time I realized that waist-length hair on a woman swayed back and forth exactly 180 degrees out of phase with her hips. Mesmerizing doesn't even come close to describing the effect it had on a 16 year old boy.

My favorite moment with her came during late spring of that year.  It was a warm day, and she had brought in traditional Spanish foods so we could hold class outside on the lawn.  It was Conv. Spanish, so the class was small, maybe 12 kids total.  She was wearing a long denim skirt and white peasant blouse, which was almost transparent in the bright sunlight.  It was windy, and her hair was blowing everywhere.  She was everything I could imagine the word "beautiful" to mean.  Every time she reached up to pull the wind-blown hair away from her face, I felt like my heart would explode.  After the picnic was over she walked over to where I was sitting to take my empty paper plate.  As she bent over, her blouse fell open and I could see EVERYTHING.  She noticed me noticing, grabbed the front of her shirt, and then shrugged and just let it fall open again while she picked up some other litter that was by me.  It took her a LONG time to pick up all that trash.  To this day, I have no idea if that was deliberate on her part or if our class was just a bunch of slobby litterbugs.  Either way, I'm grateful for it.  It was the first time I had ever seen a woman's naked torso in such clear unobstructed detail.

The funny thing is, it was never awkward afterwards.  She never mentioned it. Never took me aside and told me to keep my eyes to myself.  She was the same sexy but unattainable Senorita Morgan for the rest of the semester.  The closest it ever came to being discussed was when I finally got a serious girlfriend.  When Senorita Morgan found out about it, she jokingly told me she was happy for me but "sad that I would not love her anymore."  Que nunca va a pasar, Senorita Morgan.
 
2013-02-09 02:38:23 PM
Remember Ben Franklin's wise counsel...

(Not bad for mid 40's.  I should have a caring teacher like that)
 
2013-02-09 02:58:33 PM
You have my vote for the "Teacher" tag and maybe a combo "Florida Teacher" one also.
 
2013-02-09 03:15:35 PM

GORDON: casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

Or even better, a 24 year old child who can still be on parent's Obamacare?  All examples of people incapable of taking care of themselves.  Gives the responsible of you at that age a bad reputation.

/was a welfare child, joined the military at 19, bought my first house at 21.  Suck it, basement failures.


In Canada it is used as an exemption for full-time University students so that they don't have to try to go to school full time and try to work enough just to pay for medical care. Someone has to go to school to learn how to design the weapons and armour you use, after all...
 
2013-02-09 03:17:35 PM

Smashed Hat: I'd hit it, but my standards are pretty low.

/The lady has a touch of the crazy eyes


i.huffpost.com
 
2013-02-09 05:17:25 PM

casual disregard: casual disregard: //tbh, we've seen far worse

I need to amend this statement because I stopped reading TFA a mite early. She's 44. I consider that not bad for 44. Not hot, but not bad.

Too bad she farked a teen, though. Do women have midlife crises? I wonder.

Also FTFA: "sex assault on a child by a person in a position of trust"

Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?


The 18 year old can buy his own cigarettes.  What's the difference between 17 and 16?  16 and 15?  15 and 18?  We have to try to draw lines on a continuous scale where the main unit of measurement is somewhat of negligible after the first decade of our life.  Hell, here in Colorado the age of consent is 17, but there's more than just age going on, like abusing positions of trust and authority.
 
2013-02-09 05:19:36 PM
Reminds me of Jenn Schatz

img.filmous.com
Hot
 
2013-02-09 05:20:02 PM
image.grenme.com
We need a new one with teacher "hotness" taken into account.
 
2013-02-09 05:21:42 PM

Paris1127: [image.grenme.com image 449x337]
We need a new one with teacher "hotness" taken into account.


Does everyone else see the "Fark Teacher-Student Sex Matrix"? When I clicked add comment, the preview at the top of the thread showed W giving the finger...

/dafuq?
 
2013-02-09 05:55:53 PM

too-old: casual disregard: Can somebody please explain in simple terms the difference between a 17-year old child and an 18-year old man without mentioning selective service registration?

You have to have a metric. Otherwise why have any laws at all.


the metric should be  "puberty" or "he/she wanted to"
 
2013-02-09 06:25:55 PM
Give her tenure. She is a teacher so she must deserve it.
 
2013-02-09 08:29:42 PM

accelerus: bump: **sigh**

I'll not engage in the debate as we all know the truth of the hotness factor here... but I will assure male farkers that, you can/do reach a point later in life wherein the poonie simply does not command the same response/effect that it's always played in our male lives.

Sure, it's great to get laid, do this do that - I'm still a huge fan, but once that trouser snake is demoted and his voice is reduced to a mere murmur, your life will become so much more peaceful. You simply reach a point where getting stinky on your hang-down simply isn't worth the effort/trouble/worry/money/hassle/etc. - and it's simply much easier to rub one out, order a pizza and watch a good movie - all without having to placate some gash and related opinions/preferences.

It's all so clear to me now. Wherever you are in life, my best to you and yours.

/old farker

You sir are 100% correct and if I was a wealthy man I would buy you a years subscription to fark. Or a whore, whichever was cheaper.

I realized this bit of wisdom a few years ago... the kicker is I'm about to be 31 in March.  In college I had tang falling out of my pockets. I was a pretty good man whore, to the point where more than once I had a girl in my room and things lasted a little longer than I'd planned, and the next girl was outside banging on the door. (if either girl would have found out - I'd have been boned in the bad kinda way)

Vaj is great - but after you go nuts for a few years, the honest to god truth is when you add up ALL the money, time, and energy you spent just so you can have an hour or two of crazy stinky fun... it's just not worth it.  Add in the risk of screwing around with a crazy woman, or worse, getting her pregnant. STD's sure don't add any fun to the mix.  I can honestly say most of the time I'd rather crank one out to internet porn, have some candy, and then play some Battlefield 3.  Keyword most of the time -- after a while you do have to get your dick wet just to remind yourself a ...


He was statutory raped.

She was only his teacher but his LEGAL GUARDIAN. There are power dynamics at play here that can fark up a relationship between 2 adults [think boss and underling] and a slight incest vibe.
 
HBK
2013-02-10 03:22:31 AM

Igor Jakovsky: So is this kid going to have to pay child support for a rape baby for the next 18 years?


I don't know about CO law- but the child would be responsible for child support in many jurisdictions.  Child support is "for the benefit of the child."  It's not (supposed to be) a punishment or reward for either parent.  Since it's not a punishment for the underage parent, the underage parent is still liable, through no fault of his own, for support payments to benefit the child.  Basically, the parent's rights are not considered at all.  If a parent were absolved of having to support the child because the conception was arguably "not his fault," then the child is the one getting screwed by his mother's mistakes.

/it's a controversial issue that I don't fully support
//IANAL
 
2013-02-10 11:56:05 PM

JungleBoogie: 1) Boner generally indicates consent.
2) At age 17, people can join the military.
3) Sex for males = aggressive, penetrative act.
4) Sex for women = invasive, receptive act.
5) Women bear more consequences from sex than men (pregnancy, less apparent STDs which can go untreated).


Arousal is involuntary.
 
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