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(Fox News)   What's in your wallet . . . ? No, really -- what's in your wallet?   (foxnews.com) divider line 59
    More: Stupid, Iranians, hand luggage, Duesseldorf  
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10299 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2013 at 10:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-09 08:01:53 AM
He should have filled it out after he arrived.
 
2013-02-09 08:30:19 AM
Well... not that.
 
2013-02-09 08:40:10 AM
If you are trying to smuggle 70 million, perhaps choose a non-Arab at this particular point in history.  Plus it is a check, not hard currency.  Any bank that would handle that without reporting to the government would do the same with a wire transfer.  I can't think of a good reason to move money in check form across international borders.
 
2013-02-09 10:13:47 AM
Don Johnson problems...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-09 10:18:00 AM
He had a check. I thought checks were OK to smuggle because they left a trail for auditors to follow.
 
2013-02-09 10:19:36 AM
So how much would a currency exchange charge to cash that?
 
2013-02-09 10:20:38 AM
Did anyone notice: he smuggled in 70 million, and the worst he's going to get... is a fine for 1.4 million?

SO, 68.6 million profit?
 
2013-02-09 10:21:08 AM
A couple of 20s, some coins, my driver's license, credit card, and Ginger Lynn fan club card.
 
2013-02-09 10:22:47 AM
my wallet? $20 and a nekkid pic of subby's Mom.
 
2013-02-09 10:25:54 AM
Jeez, now how is he going to buy Kryton switches for his "Baby Formula Factory"? Germans are such a buzzkill....
 
2013-02-09 10:26:03 AM
What's in my wallet?  A magnum condom so I can demonstrate that I have a monster dong.
 
2013-02-09 10:26:07 AM

Tyrone Slothrop: and Ginger Lynn fan club card


Is she even still alive?
 
2013-02-09 10:26:26 AM
So he was trying to pay the licensing fees so Iran could upgrade to the new Photoshop CS7: Iran Space, Missile, and Sooper Fighter edition?
 
2013-02-09 10:28:06 AM
"Scheiße!"
 
2013-02-09 10:29:58 AM
The mail, how does it work?
 
2013-02-09 10:30:01 AM
My ID, and a moth with a hacking cough.
 
2013-02-09 10:32:39 AM

jake_lex: What's in my wallet?  A magnum condom so I can demonstrate that I have a monster dong.


I usually use my dong to demonstrate I have a monster dong - but that's a good backup plan.


Seriously - did he have this check in some blinking golden box or otherwise drew attention to himself?  I'm white so I've never had my bags searched by cops... something is weird though.

He couldn't have just done his traveling and then had the check sent via FedEx or some other international delivery service? Pretty sure that would have been a lot safer.
 
2013-02-09 10:35:16 AM

beautifulbob: If you are trying to smuggle 70 million, perhaps choose a non-Arab at this particular point in history.


Where is the Arab in that story?
 
2013-02-09 10:35:34 AM
A beaver shot of your wife.
 
2013-02-09 10:36:02 AM

Fool_Marquis: Did anyone notice: he smuggled in 70 million, and the worst he's going to get... is a fine for 1.4 million?

SO, 68.6 million profit?


They took the check away. So yes, 68.6 million profit. For the Germans. Note to self: don't bring anything a German customs official would really like when you go to Wacken.

img.photobucket.com

/how do you say "YAY!" in German?
 
2013-02-09 10:38:55 AM

abhorrent1: Tyrone Slothrop: and Ginger Lynn fan club card

Is she even still alive?


I still think you are allowed to have a fan club even after you are dead.

My favourite is "White Cliff's of Dover"
 
2013-02-09 10:40:19 AM
A pile of non-credit card plastic, receipts cash and coins.

It is also falling apart, but do you know how hard it is to find a decent non-billfold guy wallet with a coin purse that doesn't say Harley?
 
2013-02-09 10:41:03 AM

macadamnut: beautifulbob: If you are trying to smuggle 70 million, perhaps choose a non-Arab at this particular point in history.

Where is the Arab in that story?


Persian / A-rab, either one is bad news on a flight.
 
2013-02-09 10:42:46 AM

KrispyKritter: my wallet? $20 and a nekkid pic of subby's Mom.


Everybody has that.

Do you have the one of his sister?
 
2013-02-09 10:44:11 AM
Well to be fair, a check isn't money. So why would he have to declare it?
 
2013-02-09 10:44:49 AM
Once again national interests are put ahead of an individual's. When will this madness end?
 
2013-02-09 10:48:43 AM

Petey4335: A pile of non-credit card plastic, receipts cash and coins.

It is also falling apart, but do you know how hard it is to find a decent non-billfold guy wallet with a coin purse that doesn't say Harley?


would you be interested, and please know that you may decline, in shaving my coin purse?
 
2013-02-09 10:49:29 AM

MythDragon: Well to be fair, a check isn't money. So why would he have to declare it?


Good point. Checks are frequently converted to ACH transactions.

If you're carrying a credit card when you cross the border, do you have to declare what its limit is?
 
2013-02-09 10:54:38 AM
We want tourists to come and spend money but complain when they have money. Babble Babble.
Go on.
 
2013-02-09 10:57:41 AM

macadamnut: beautifulbob: If you are trying to smuggle 70 million, perhaps choose a non-Arab at this particular point in history.

Where is the Arab in that story?


Reading comprehension fail.  I thought it said Iraqi.  My comment is still relevant.  If there is anything I know, it is international money laundering.

/I clearly don't know much about anything
 
2013-02-09 11:04:19 AM
Have electronics eluded these people somehow?
 
2013-02-09 11:30:32 AM
Do you have any naked pics of your wife?

Wanna see one?
 
2013-02-09 11:47:03 AM
I can sympathize with this guy's problem. My daughter lives in Argentina. The Argentinian peso is nearly worthless outside of Argentina. The money changers at the airports refuse to take them anymore. The only way she can get her money out of the country and convert it to US dollars is by buying dollars on the black market (highly illegal but everyone does it) and then walking the cash across the border. The Argentinian government keeps trying to close the loopholes (and thus making the peso more worthless) so the black market conversion cost is up in the 45% range.
 
2013-02-09 12:04:15 PM
What's in my wallet? How about "none of your damn business".

/Not stupid enough to try that with TSA neanderthals, but you get the idea.
 
2013-02-09 12:14:12 PM

abhorrent1: Tyrone Slothrop: and Ginger Lynn fan club card

Is she even still alive?


IMDB says she was back in porn recently, doing MILF movies, like "Watching My Mommy Go Black (2009)", "I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 23 (2010) " and "Saw: A Hardcore Parody (2010)".

Here's a picture from 2012:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-09 12:19:36 PM
I thought those limits were for  cash.  If they're going to extend that to anything that could be converted in some fashion, almost any international traveler is breakin' the law [beavis_butthead.jpg].  My credit cards can draw more than that in cash advances.  My debit card is linked to cash accounts with more than that.  I've never declared any of those links to money.  If I carry the deeds to property, [disco_stu.jpg].
 
2013-02-09 12:35:35 PM
German customs, eh?

May I see your papers pliz.
Sixty-two packages of cigarettes...
Zis is ze fazzerland.
Sixty two copies of Horseshiat Magazine...
Larry Frnoga?
Zefrin, CL brand of ah nasal spray...
You know we arrest people for having too much fun here.
When you come to someone else's country do you run around on the grass and make it dirty everywhere you go?
We have a lot of bars here.
I see you all are very well organized, we all like order in Germany you know.
Why is everyone in this group having bow ties going from ze neck?
"My guitar wants to kill you mama. My guitar wants to burn your dad. I get real mean when he makes me mad."
This is very good, this is very normal, German lyrics. You're all welcome to our country.

/don't laugh
 
2013-02-09 12:36:20 PM

Badgers: IMDB says she was back in porn recently, doing MILF movies, like "Watching My Mommy Go Black (2009)", "I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 23 (2010) " and "Saw: A Hardcore Parody (2010)".


Wait a second... there were 22 previous movies before that one?
 
2013-02-09 12:38:04 PM

mark12A: Jeez, now how is he going to buy Kryton switches for his "Baby Formula Factory"? Germans are such a buzzkill....


www.i-change.biz
 
2013-02-09 12:38:51 PM

themasterdebater: Badgers: IMDB says she was back in porn recently, doing MILF movies, like "Watching My Mommy Go Black (2009)", "I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 23 (2010) " and "Saw: A Hardcore Parody (2010)".

Wait a second... there were 22 previous movies before that one?


There's a lot of moms.
 
2013-02-09 12:38:51 PM

Fool_Marquis: Did anyone notice: he smuggled in 70 million, and the worst he's going to get... is a fine for 1.4 million?

SO, 68.6 million profit?


FTFA:
Customs officials said in a statement Friday that the check was impounded since the Iranian was unable to offer a plausible explanation about its intended recipient and purpose.

/They seized the check, so he's probably out 71.4 million
//Hope it wasn't endorsed
 
2013-02-09 12:41:20 PM

Petey4335: A pile of non-credit card plastic, receipts cash and coins.

It is also falling apart, but do you know how hard it is to find a decent non-billfold guy wallet with a coin purse that doesn't say Harley?


I think we've found the source of your problem. It's your vagina.
 
2013-02-09 12:48:00 PM

themasterdebater: Badgers: IMDB says she was back in porn recently, doing MILF movies, like "Watching My Mommy Go Black (2009)", "I Wanna Cum Inside Your Mom 23 (2010) " and "Saw: A Hardcore Parody (2010)".

Wait a second... there were 22 previous movies before that one?


Dammit!
memefrontier.com
 
2013-02-09 12:51:03 PM

Petey4335: A pile of non-credit card plastic, receipts cash and coins.

It is also falling apart, but do you know how hard it is to find a decent non-billfold guy wallet with a coin purse that doesn't say Harley?


Got one for you here.
www.ultragadgets.nl
 
2013-02-09 01:26:49 PM
Mail, electronic transfer, or simply opening an account and giving access to the recipient would all suffice.

CSB: Reminds me of when I had the TSA want me to turn on my laptop to prove it was functional... okay, here you go.  Then they wanted me to log in so they could "look at the files to make sure I wasn't transferring sensitive things."
A) it's a work computer, so yes, there are sensitive things on there.  I need these things to do my job.  Just like almost every person that travels for business.
B) None of those step-down-from-a-rent-a-cop jackasses would be able to tell the difference between anything legit and something nefarious.
C) EMAIL, SHARED SERVERS, hell F*CKING DROPBOX or GOOGLE DRIVE would all enable me to send the same info, even over international borders, without the police academy dropouts having a chance to view it.  This wasn't even an international flight, so I could just DRIVE THERE.

/refused to log in
//got detained for an hour
///fark the TSA
 
2013-02-09 01:27:17 PM
beforeweage.files.wordpress.com

I assure you I am within acceptable viking tolerance levels, subby.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-02-09 01:33:54 PM
Reminds me of when I had the TSA want me to turn on my laptop to prove it was functional...

Back in the early 1990s a coworker was traveling with an external hard drive, an odd beast at that time. Airport security asked him to prove it wasn't a bomb. He set it next to the computer, plugged it into AC (only), turned it on, the LED lit up, and it didn't explode. Genuine computer accesssory, cleared for boarding.

In the early 2000s a different coworker flew El Al. Airport security in Israel put his laptop through the scanner and it registered possible bomb instead of harmless computer. The interrogated him for 15 minutes or so before they decided it was so new their system didn't have it in their "legitimate laptops look like this when x-rayed" file.
 
2013-02-09 01:48:18 PM

MythDragon: [beforeweage.files.wordpress.com image 849x477]

I assure you I am within acceptable viking tolerance levels, subby.


Viking?  I thought the guys in the C1 ads were huns.
arago4.tnw.utwente.nl
 
2013-02-09 01:50:26 PM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: Mail, electronic transfer, or simply opening an account and giving access to the recipient would all suffice.

CSB: Reminds me of when I had the TSA want me to turn on my laptop to prove it was functional... okay, here you go.  Then they wanted me to log in so they could "look at the files to make sure I wasn't transferring sensitive things."
A) it's a work computer, so yes, there are sensitive things on there.  I need these things to do my job.  Just like almost every person that travels for business.
B) None of those step-down-from-a-rent-a-cop jackasses would be able to tell the difference between anything legit and something nefarious.
C) EMAIL, SHARED SERVERS, hell F*CKING DROPBOX or GOOGLE DRIVE would all enable me to send the same info, even over international borders, without the police academy dropouts having a chance to view it.  This wasn't even an international flight, so I could just DRIVE THERE.

/refused to log in
//got detained for an hour
///fark the TSA


The sad thing is, they treat job applicants with the same level of privacy violation.

NSCSB, I'd been unemployed for almost 2 years after my discharge form the army before biting the bullet and moving back home.  With my bank accounts well into the negative I applied for anything and everything I could (which is what I was doing before; the difference is they actually hire people where I am now, instead of waste your time).

TSA was one of the ones that came back wanting to do interviews etc; but first I had to pass an exam.  Like a written one for school.  Oh, and then a physical; then an interview, then a background check (not a quick one like to buy a gun, this is a full fledged SF86 check, the same they do for Secret and Top Secret clearances), and finally the actual APPLICATION (at this point I still wasn't hired, but they felt confident enough to maybe possibly think about actually seeing if I was qualified). As part of the (paper) application, I had to declare what was physically wrong with me as I'd taken the disabled veteran preference.  Then they repeatedly called me wanting more info about my disability, despite the fact that I'd provided them almost everything I had from the VA.

After more than 3 months of dicking around with them; they finally overnight me a thick [nearly 100 pages give or take] packet of paperwork that they wanted me to bring to a doctor and get them to fill out; at my own expense.  Keep in mind I'm not missing a leg or have PTSD or anything.  This process had taken so long that I'd accepted a job as a delivery driver for one of the major's [Brown, Purple, Yellow, use your imagination]; so I'm clearly in decent shape and more than fit to sit at a podium and check ID's or watch an X-Ray machine.

It was at this point I told them to stuff it and withdrew my application.  I only kept moving on the process because I figured it would be a decent way to get a transfer into DHS to move onto FPS or any of the other alphabet-soup gigs that pay well but don't really make you work.  The sad thing is they even lied on the job notice; stating that starting pay, for part-time at my local airport was a salary of 35K; but once you (make it to) interview, they casually inform you that its $11/hr and only about 15-20 hours a week.
 
2013-02-09 01:53:01 PM
gave himself away when he was asked to declare if he had over 10k euros he replied, "technically..... no"
 
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