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(TreeHugger)   Remember how in the old days if you wanted to stop an asteroid from colliding with earth you had to assemble a crew of blue-collar misfits to plant a nuclear device in the asteroid's core? Now all you need to do is vandalize it with spray paint   (treehugger.com) divider line 25
    More: Strange, asteroids, Earth, nuclear device, heart, Asteroid Apophis, gravity tractor, crew  
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2551 clicks; posted to Geek » on 09 Feb 2013 at 9:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-09 07:19:08 AM
Blowing it up was more likely to get you two or three death asteroids rather than a harmless sand shower.
 
2013-02-09 08:29:30 AM
I was hoping this involved lighting a planet-sized can of spray paint pointed at the asteroid.
 
2013-02-09 09:25:50 AM
Now where did I put my number twelve asteroid paint chipper?
 
2013-02-09 09:30:18 AM
I always favoured Professor Eyestrain's solution
endings.lemonamiga.com
 
2013-02-09 09:30:29 AM
If we send up a group of taggers into outer space to vandalize the asteroid, do we call them the "Spray Team"?
 
2013-02-09 09:36:16 AM
Depending on the size of the asteroid, wouldn't it be easier to just duct-tape the cans to the asteroid with the nozzles on?
 
2013-02-09 09:48:00 AM
Yeah, but when the movie comes out it'll be way boring....
 
2013-02-09 09:54:48 AM
Thanks. I'm more stupider now.
 
2013-02-09 10:09:41 AM
Paint it purple and apply an SEP field and no one will notice it.
 
2013-02-09 10:11:34 AM
Well the good news is, to shift an asteroid's position by 15,000km over the course of one year, you'd only need to accelerate it at 7 ten-billionths of a g. Less than that if you're clever and you decide to play with the orbital inclination instead.

Just strapping an ion engine to the sucker probably ought to do the trick if you spot it in time.
 
2013-02-09 10:22:51 AM
Then again, it could be Fthaugga and his fire vampire minions coming around to ask for lots of human sacrifices.  If we don't give him the sacrifices, they will rain fire and destruction on our planet.
 
2013-02-09 10:56:21 AM
Headline made us laugh!  Thanks subby.
 
2013-02-09 11:11:03 AM

wildcardjack: Paint it purple and apply an SEP field and no one will notice it.


I thought it had to be pink?
 
2013-02-09 11:14:36 AM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Just strapping an ion engine to the sucker probably ought to do the trick if you spot it in time.


Let me know when you plan on setting this up.

'Cause I don't wanna miss a thing.
 
2013-02-09 11:31:04 AM
FTFA:  Although tiny, a little push day after day, year after year for hundreds of years can change an asteroid's orbit significantly - transforming an Earth impactor into a close fly-by or a clean miss.

Okay, hot shot, what about if we have mere days?
 
2013-02-09 12:29:23 PM
In a situation like this, you-you really don't wanna take the advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics.
 
2013-02-09 01:15:55 PM
What if we get up there and Banksy is already on the side of it?
 
2013-02-09 01:39:54 PM
Old news.
 
2013-02-09 01:57:57 PM
Wow, that was like an orders-of-magnitude-dumbed-down version of a real project I read about recently:

http://spectrum.ieee.org/aerospace/astrophysics/finding-the-source-o f- the-pioneer-anomaly
 
2013-02-09 03:35:22 PM

Heraclitus: What if we get up there and Banksy is already on the side of it?


Then Banksy automatically becomes Prime Minister and has to gay-marry Prince Harry.
 
2013-02-09 03:39:20 PM

EvilEgg: Blowing it up was more likely to get you two or three death asteroids rather than a harmless sand shower.


Only with the drilling/1 large bomb method. The rock in Armageddon was huge - the size of Pallas, which happens to be the largest asteroid in our system after Ceres was promoted to minor planet. Putting every nuclear weapon that has even been made inside it wouldn't crack THAT rock in half - much less send them drifting far apart from each other.

Now a regular dino-killer could be chipped away by a precisely delivered series of nukes. Essentially chipping it away like a chisel on a block of marble. What would remain would be a cloud of gravel and boulders. The rock that is flying-by next week could simple be nuked - shattering it into dust and gravel.
 
2013-02-09 04:29:29 PM

blue_2501: FTFA:  Although tiny, a little push day after day, year after year for hundreds of years can change an asteroid's orbit significantly - transforming an Earth impactor into a close fly-by or a clean miss.

Okay, hot shot, what about if we have mere days?


You fire the guy who was in charge of detecting Earth-crossing asteroids before they become a threat, and say goodbye to your loved ones.
 
2013-02-09 05:32:59 PM

madgonad: EvilEgg: Blowing it up was more likely to get you two or three death asteroids rather than a harmless sand shower.

Only with the drilling/1 large bomb method. The rock in Armageddon was huge - the size of Pallas, which happens to be the largest asteroid in our system after Ceres was promoted to minor planet. Putting every nuclear weapon that has even been made inside it wouldn't crack THAT rock in half - much less send them drifting far apart from each other.

Now a regular dino-killer could be chipped away by a precisely delivered series of nukes. Essentially chipping it away like a chisel on a block of marble. What would remain would be a cloud of gravel and boulders. The rock that is flying-by next week could simple be nuked - shattering it into dust and gravel.


Screw that - use the nukes to Orion-drive it out of the ecliptic.

/it's almost too easy
 
2013-02-10 12:02:20 PM

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: blue_2501: FTFA:  Although tiny, a little push day after day, year after year for hundreds of years can change an asteroid's orbit significantly - transforming an Earth impactor into a close fly-by or a clean miss.

Okay, hot shot, what about if we have mere days?

You fire the guy who was in charge of detecting Earth-crossing asteroids before they become a threat, and say goodbye to your loved ones.


We've had some near misses that surprised us in a matter of months, so the possibility isn't all that far-fetched.
 
2013-02-10 12:09:35 PM

blue_2501: Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: blue_2501: FTFA:  Although tiny, a little push day after day, year after year for hundreds of years can change an asteroid's orbit significantly - transforming an Earth impactor into a close fly-by or a clean miss.

Okay, hot shot, what about if we have mere days?

You fire the guy who was in charge of detecting Earth-crossing asteroids before they become a threat, and say goodbye to your loved ones.

We've had some near misses that surprised us in a matter of months, so the possibility isn't all that far-fetched.


I was being serious. You can try the whole nukes thing, but it's more than likely not going to work. If we spot a Chixulub-size asteroid that's three days from tearing us a new one, millions if not billions of people are going to die and we have just enough time for angry finger-pointing.
 
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