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(Salon)   Personal grooming accidents are booming. Wax on...wax owww   (salon.com) divider line 37
    More: Interesting, love of God, urology, Pay Attention, advice columnist, UCSD  
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5427 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2013 at 7:22 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-09 07:28:35 AM  
Real men use a chainsaw to mow their pubes.
 
2013-02-09 07:31:06 AM  
"And I guess that was your penis in the hair clippers."
 
2013-02-09 07:32:42 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-09 07:33:17 AM  
margegunderson.jpg

/sigh
 
2013-02-09 07:36:21 AM  
No need for a razor. Just use a beard trimmer with the closest attachment. Unless you're a gorilla, that should be all you need.

/Still manage to cut myself once in awhile when I'm not careful. Stretch that skin!
 
2013-02-09 07:39:05 AM  
Kelly Clarkson!
 
2013-02-09 07:39:15 AM  
Jesus christ. How hard is it to use a razor? I mean, really? Or even a pair of clippers.

Hint: Gilette Venuses are great for that "area"
 
2013-02-09 07:39:53 AM  
Maybe using a straight razor to trim up was a bad idea.
 
2013-02-09 07:50:38 AM  
I was very much against manscaping in my younger years. However, I received a request from my wife to tidy up and have to say, the benefits that have been the result are well worth the effort. I just don't get how these morans end up in the ER. Yeah, I get taking sharp instruments to your giblets can be dangerous, but haven't these people ever heard of being careful?

/ Protip, don't use an electric razor. The damn things are butchers on your giblets.
 
2013-02-09 08:02:02 AM  
Protip: Don't shave your pubes in the shower. Take a bath and soak for 10 minutes before starting. Use a good MEN's shave cream and a good razor. Go over each area only once. Don't fret still being able to feel stubble, hair shrinks when it dries out.
Follow these rules and you'll never even have a nick, let alone an ER visit.
 
2013-02-09 08:04:21 AM  
Use one of these, it works wonders. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000EG8HLE
 
2013-02-09 08:12:08 AM  
 
2013-02-09 08:45:37 AM  

numbone: [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 280x180]


Mine usually aren't unexpected.
 
2013-02-09 08:45:49 AM  

MarkEC: Protip: Don't shave your pubes in the shower. Take a bath and soak for 10 minutes before starting. Use a good MEN's shave cream and a good razor. Go over each area only once. Don't fret still being able to feel stubble, hair shrinks when it dries out.
Follow these rules and you'll never even have a nick, let alone an ER visit.


To be honest, coming from someone who has to fight against Genetics (Italian AND Spanish, it's like a forest here) and hates body hair, I've found that either using NAIR for Men once every two weeks, or using an electric clipper with the fine grooming attachment, and a good sensitive skin women's shower shave gel works for me to do the fine stuff.

I use a men's shave cream for my face, but it causes me to break out elsewhere on my body.
 
2013-02-09 08:49:03 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-09 08:49:36 AM  
Just get a big russian woman to do it to you in a radio studio full of other guys.  Anyone else hear that yesterday?

//yay Sal
//o&a have gotten so gay lately
//nttawwt
 
2013-02-09 08:52:32 AM  
I worked with a guy who tried Nair on his crotch.  Lesson learned from him: do not put Nair on your nuts.

//He said it felt like a tiki torch wielding midget was following him around for 2 days.
//yay life experience!
 
2013-02-09 08:54:21 AM  

Mister Buttons: I worked with a guy who tried Nair on his crotch.  Lesson learned from him: do not put Nair on your nuts.

//He said it felt like a tiki torch wielding midget was following him around for 2 days.
//yay life experience!


NAIR will do horrible things to your perineum. Male or female. I worked a 911 call where a female had placed it on her outer labia to get the hair off, and had fallen asleep and woke up an hour later with second degree chemical burns there.
 
2013-02-09 09:02:14 AM  
You kids are obsessed with your genitals.
 
2013-02-09 09:16:46 AM  
First he played with it, then it got hard, then hairy...then popped; then smooth, then MRSA, then soft, hairless and mostly useless..

But guys whatever you do, DON'T let your girlfriend try and shave your junk...just trust me on this one....just do it yourself carefully, but NEVER let a creature with 2 X get near your junk with a razor
 
2013-02-09 09:41:38 AM  
I used to shave but now I'd rather just get waxed. It doesn't really hurt much. I admit the first time stung a little, but honestly it hurts more to pull an adhesive bandage off my arm. On subsequent waxings it hardly hurts at all. Maybe the follicles get used to it or something. I've never had any accidents with waxing either. The girl who waxes my junk is quite professional and suitably careful.
 
2013-02-09 10:05:20 AM  

NeoBad: First he played with it, then it got hard, then hairy...then popped; then smooth, then MRSA, then soft, hairless and mostly useless..


With staphylococcus aureus, you also run the risk of getting necrotizing fasciitis, but getting that is pretty rare.  Though the people who got it didn't get it from shaving their pubic area.   They got it after getting bit on the penis while receiving oral sex.
One person got a particularly nasty and pustular abscess on the entire length of his penis and one person's necrotizing fasciits spread from his groin up to his abdomen.  The guy required a 5 inch x 7 inch skin graft. Then there are the anerobic bacteria that can cause nasty infections, so that requires antibiotics that target anerobic bacteria, just in case.
It's amazing what you can find out while reading.
 
2013-02-09 10:21:54 AM  

Fubegra: Obligatory.


DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS, 24 Jan 2012
This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml (Personal Care)Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't have to. Heed my lesson. DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS.

(I am giving this product a 5 because despite the fact that I think my bollocks might fall off, they are now completely hairless.)

I laughed my arse off.  Thanks for the warning and the chuckle.
 
2013-02-09 10:46:12 AM  
BronyMedic: NAIR will do horrible things to your perineum. Male or female. I worked a 911 call where a female had placed it on her outer labia to get the hair off, and had fallen asleep and woke up an hour later with second degree chemical burns there.

THIS

Tried that when I was in HS (though not to my labia, there be man parts down there).  The experience went from "Hmm, that tingles a good bit" to "OH MY GOD GET THIS STUFF OFF OF ME!!!" in about two heartbeats.

Can't even fathom how somebody could fall asleep with that stuff down there.  Lady must've had some pain tolerance, or been drunk when she applied it.

/Sticks to dedicated trimmers now
 
2013-02-09 11:29:06 AM  
Oh, I also forgot that you can get syphillis from being bitten on the penis.
 
2013-02-09 11:30:44 AM  
get some cancer.  i did.  after my chemo/radiation was done and everything fell out (including nose and ear hair) only my eyebrows and head hair came back.  i have hardly any arm or leg hair, no armpit hair at all, and my junk is covered in peach fuzz.  i hear the ladies love a naked man that looks like a giant 9-year old.
 
2013-02-09 11:47:13 AM  

The Flexecutioner: get some cancer.  i did.  after my chemo/radiation was done and everything fell out (including nose and ear hair) only my eyebrows and head hair came back.  i have hardly any arm or leg hair, no armpit hair at all, and my junk is covered in peach fuzz.  i hear the ladies love a naked man that looks like a giant 9-year old.


Maybe you'll meet a nice teacher.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:01 PM  

eyeq360: Oh, I also forgot that you can get syphillis from being bitten on the penis.

I'mI'm



I'm sure there is an interesting story behind this....
 
2013-02-09 12:41:51 PM  

MarkEC: Protip: Don't shave your pubes in the shower. Take a bath and soak for 10 minutes before starting. Use a good MEN's shave cream and a good razor. Go over each area only once. Don't fret still being able to feel stubble, hair shrinks when it dries out.
Follow these rules and you'll never even have a nick, let alone an ER visit.


Doesn't it itch when it grows back?
 
2013-02-09 01:00:47 PM  

Evil Mackerel: The Flexecutioner: get some cancer.  i did.  after my chemo/radiation was done and everything fell out (including nose and ear hair) only my eyebrows and head hair came back.  i have hardly any arm or leg hair, no armpit hair at all, and my junk is covered in peach fuzz.  i hear the ladies love a naked man that looks like a giant 9-year old.

Maybe you'll meet a nice teacher.


And EM wins the thread!
 
2013-02-09 01:26:55 PM  

HempHead: eyeq360: Oh, I also forgot that you can get syphillis from being bitten on the penis.
I'mI'm

I'm sure there is an interesting story behind this....


Actually, there is an interesting story behind this.
In this book I read called Bitten, written by a doctor, she tells the story of a guy who was receiving a blow job and he was dumb enough to tell the prostitute that he wouldn't pay her.  She got angry and she bit him several times on the penis.  His penis is bleeding quite badly so he goes to the doctor.  He gets antibiotics and goes on his not-so-merry way due to his bleeding and mangled groin.,
Fast forward two weeks later.  His wounded penis is healed, but it soon starts leaking pus.  Not being so bright, he decides to leave it alone.Then the tissue starts to break down, becoming ulcerated,and the lymph nodes in his groin area are swollen.  Now he decides to go to the doctor.The doctor does a culture test and the diagnosis is syphyllis.  Guy gets two shots of penicillin and everything is cured.
There are many important lessons to be learned from this story.
 
2013-02-09 02:44:46 PM  

Airius: Evil Mackerel: The Flexecutioner: get some cancer.  i did.  after my chemo/radiation was done and everything fell out (including nose and ear hair) only my eyebrows and head hair came back.  i have hardly any arm or leg hair, no armpit hair at all, and my junk is covered in peach fuzz.  i hear the ladies love a naked man that looks like a giant 9-year old.

Maybe you'll meet a nice teacher.

And EM wins the thread!


yeah, got a 'funny' vote from me.  i posted that before i read about that 18yr old babysitter, too.
 
2013-02-09 03:13:54 PM  

eyeq360: HempHead: eyeq360: Oh, I also forgot that you can get syphillis from being bitten on the penis.
I'mI'm

I'm sure there is an interesting story behind this....

Actually, there is an interesting story behind this.
In this book I read called Bitten, written by a doctor, she tells the story of a guy who was receiving a blow job and he was dumb enough to tell the prostitute that he wouldn't pay her.  She got angry and she bit him several times on the penis.  His penis is bleeding quite badly so he goes to the doctor.  He gets antibiotics and goes on his not-so-merry way due to his bleeding and mangled groin.,
Fast forward two weeks later.  His wounded penis is healed, but it soon starts leaking pus.  Notwww.blogcdn.com being

 so bright, he decides to leave it alone.Then the tissue starts to break down, becoming ulcerated,and the lymph nodes in his groin area are swollen.  Now he decides to go to the doctor.The doctor does a culture test and the diagnosis is syphyllis.  Guy gets two shots of penicillin and everything is cured.
There are many important lessons to be learned from this story.


 
2013-02-09 03:16:11 PM  

Graffito: MarkEC: Protip: Don't shave your pubes in the shower. Take a bath and soak for 10 minutes before starting. Use a good MEN's shave cream and a good razor. Go over each area only once. Don't fret still being able to feel stubble, hair shrinks when it dries out.
Follow these rules and you'll never even have a nick, let alone an ER visit.

Doesn't it itch when it grows back?


On the taint area yes. Shaving it every day keeps the itch away and you become an expert in no time at all.
 
2013-02-09 03:16:47 PM  
The Wax Song by Jenny Talia from Australia

http://www.jennytalia.com/2007/09/10/wax-song-wax-off/


Took a bit of planning but now I'm nearly set

Got the babysitter booked and I bought a brand new dress

Me and me husband overdue for some romance

Fancy restaurant, couple drinks

Then let him get in me pants

Got two hours to get ready so I'm gonna do the works

Give me face and hair a makeover but first things first

Dig out the waxing kit that's never been used

Tonight I'm going Brazilian, I've always wanted to!


Instruction booklet says I'll be hair free in no time

It's painless and it's simple the results will be divine

Grab the first wax strip and lock the bathroom door

Put one foot on the dunny and one foot on the floor

Do the right side first, put the wax strip on

Covers all the way from front to back, this won't take too long

Take a deep breath, brace myself, here we go

One, two, three RIP

JEEESUS, MARY, JOOOE!


I'm blind, blind from the pain, can't speak, I'm gonna die!

Clutch myself, clench me teeth, try not to cry

Calm down, deep breath, time to check the strip

What? NO hair, where's the wax - oh holy shiat!

Me foot still on the dunny, I bravely look down

Matted hair, wax everywhere what do I do now

This wax kit sucks, no wonder I've never used it

The pain is unbelievable, HOW do how do womendothis?


I need to think so I put me foot back down on the floor

Like lockdown in a prison I feel the slamming of the door

The wax has stuck me mutt and butt and seeled them both together

Why didn't I just shave it off...no I'm too farking clever!

I'll get me husband? No, he'd just laugh, bloody MAN!

Me cell phone's in me pocket I'll call me best mate Sam

She'll know what to do, she sells candles, she's an expert on wax

She laughs so hard she drops the phone

What sort of friend is THAT?


OK OK I can do this, I know, I'll just have a bath

As hot as I can stand it, that'll melt it all off

I waddle over like a penguin to turn the water on

No bubble bath, this shiat is serious, I want this wax GONE

I lower myself slowly in, Jeeesus it's hot

Scalding, burning oh my God, hope this melts it off

Just when I think it's all OK, try to lift me arse

You gotta be joking, I'm farking stuck!


The wax has glued me bits to the bottom of the bath

I'm gonna die in here, where's me phone, I can't reach the bastard!

I need some scissors, can I reach them? Yes thank God!

If you're listening God, s'pose you think this is funny

Well it's farking not!!

Always wanted to be a hairdresser, so here's me chance at it

Carving, hacking, chopping away try not to do more damage

Don't give a shiat anymore how it looks I'm gonna be numb for weeks

No nooky for me, 'cause there's no way me old man's touching me


OK I'm finished, I'm unstuck, I slowly climb out

Try hard not to slip and fall and hurt another part

Grab me little hand mirror from the top shelf

And prepare to assess the damage that I've done to myself

Looks like me couchie's just had chemo and me bum's one big blister

Fark the restaurant, fark the romance


(blah blah blah)
 
2013-02-10 06:28:41 AM  

bluenovaman: Maybe using a straight razor to trim up was a bad idea.


Heh...I just started using a straight razor, and it'll be awhile before I even THINK about using it anywhere but the chin.

/have only nicked myself twice
//wouldn't recommend it to anyone with small, active kids in the house
 
2013-02-10 09:53:38 AM  
Real men don't look like prepubescent boys - or obsess about trying to look like them. Real men don't gaze at themselves in the mirror and make a lot of effort at trying to be "pretty". I know a lot of guys are going that way now that it's kinda hip to be open about being gay? I guess all these guys are going bisexual now-a-days and want to show their feminine side by looking like a 10 year old. Pretty sickening.
 
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