If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Village Voice)   Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time - feel free to add or subtract to this list on the right   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 44
    More: Fail, B.B. King  
•       •       •

11192 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2013 at 9:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-08 09:17:14 PM
13 votes:
gunshyassassin.com

earsucker.com
2013-02-08 11:25:57 PM
8 votes:
i877.photobucket.com
2013-02-09 06:21:20 AM
5 votes:

1derful: The Edge tops every douche on this list, except maybe John Mayer.


While everybody on that list is an amazing douche nozzle, at least they're pretty good at their instrument.


The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.


CSB.  Friend of mine worked for a guy in Philly who repaired music stuff.  Amps, keyboards, etc. Late 80's or so when U2 was on tour, and came through Philly, he gets an amp to repair.   They repair the amp, and the shop owner (who didn't really give a crap about WHO the people were, just that they paid him) calls the hotel where U2 was staying and asks for "the Bridge."   Edge gets so upset, he says, "I'm the Edge!"  The shop owner says, "The Bridge, the Edge, who cares.  The amp is ready."

/CSB.
2013-02-08 10:33:16 PM
5 votes:

Mr. Chainsaw: The list makes sense to me. Anyone who does a 6-minute guitar solo over a basic backing track and calls it a song falls into the douche category if you ask me.

Rent Party: Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.

Exactly, that's why I hate it. Style and flash over substance. No thanks.


upload.wikimedia.org

Too many notes.
2013-02-08 11:14:01 PM
3 votes:

Solid State Vittles: dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey

Dylan fired him for his "Look at me! " antics.


Even Tiny Toons made fun of the guy. Go to 2:10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usMtLztGkYg
2013-02-08 09:43:40 PM
3 votes:
Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.
2013-02-08 09:38:42 PM
3 votes:
25.media.tumblr.com
2013-02-08 09:35:28 PM
3 votes:
  Nigel Tufnel
2013-02-08 09:27:49 PM
3 votes:
Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.
2013-02-08 09:16:16 PM
3 votes:
Not clicking, but is the entire list Ted Nugent 10 times?
2013-02-08 07:31:54 PM
3 votes:
Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.
2013-02-09 03:20:36 PM
2 votes:

Uncle Pooky: mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.

Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.


How about "Menstrual Framps"? "Framppa" or "Frampon"?
2013-02-09 12:46:01 PM
2 votes:
Yngwie should be number one, he didnt want to take a doghnut that Dimebag offered him.


/ Surprsied they didnt mention Vinnie Moore, Vinnie Vincent, Dave Mustaine, or Buckethead
//And of course the list totally fails without
i26.photobucket.com
Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that, except for Dave Grohl, he gets a pass forever
2013-02-09 11:00:15 AM
2 votes:
Staffa Kar Therma:
Danzig has played guitar on all of the band Danzig albums since "Danzig 4p".

//Danzig


Fair I suppose, though he's certainly been hiring outside guys (most notably Tommy Victor) for any serious guitar leads.

But still, when they air the Family Feud episode with the question "Musically speaking, Glen Danzig is most well-known as a __________?", the answer board is going to look like:

Asshole    72
Singer      23
"Wasn't he in the Misfits?"   4
Guitarist    1

And that last one's only happening if they ask you.
2013-02-09 03:17:09 AM
2 votes:
sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.
2013-02-09 02:12:23 AM
2 votes:

flamingboar: I refuse to hate on Steve Vai after watching the ending to Crossroads. It was best guitar solos ever played.


Everyone knows Ralph Macchio played all that stuff and just let Vai take credit for it. Jeez.
2013-02-09 06:05:11 PM
1 votes:
The Village Voice calling anyone douchey is a bit like Kanye West teaching a class on how to blend in.
2013-02-09 03:57:41 PM
1 votes:

mahavishnunj: qsblues: (a)Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship. I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag). Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, (b)we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.

(a)is it? i still havent seen one real example in here of him being a dick or a douche.

(b)actually im not going by that at all.  im going by the words of every single great musician who has ever been in his band. id be interested to see someone that actually played with him trash him, who ISNT a member of the grandmothers.

oppo


  The last nurse to see Buddy Rich alive..supposedly...was on her rounds at the hospital and stopped by Buddy's room....Nurse: Mr.Rich,are you alright?  Is anything bothering you?       Buddy: Yes. Country music.
2013-02-09 03:15:52 PM
1 votes:
True story about country singer douchery.....Late 70's at the Golden Nugget in Vegas.. Larry Gatlin and The Gatlin Brothers are at the top of the c/w charts...They are playing the showroom to a SRO crowd and are about to open the show..(Larry,of course,has just snorted up Peru)...As the house lights go down,the crowd can barely contain themselves...The curtains go up and the lights blaze as the Gatlins start singing..."All the gold..in California"...The crowd goes batshiat..People jump to their feet as the applause and cheering greets them......Larry immediately stops singing and starts waving his arms like a madman to stop the band...and its a trainwreck stop.  He just stands there,arms folded, as the ovation starts to die down..It musta took 3 minutes before the last person stopped clapping....It is now dead silent...Larry now comes back to his mike and says...."People..what's wrong with y'all???"  "The Gatlins are number one because of our singing...Y'all are in here tonight to hear us sing"...."Now how the hell can anybody hear a damn thing with y'all yelling like that??" " now do you wanna scream or do you wanna hear us sing??"  DEAD SILENCE.....and with he restarts the song and show to a stunned and subdued crowd that never recovered a fraction of their energy...
2013-02-09 03:01:04 PM
1 votes:

Death Whisper: You people forgot this asshole...


Mr. Bean in a Beatle wig...?
2013-02-09 02:55:31 PM
1 votes:
I'm sorry but Billy Squier takes positions 1-9 and ties for 10th.

csb time

Concert in the 80s.  Saga opens for Billy.  Saga played a decent show and did some covers that weren't on their album and sounded much better than anything on their album.  Even back then over production and a need to sound like everybody else was ruining good bands.

Then it was Billy's turn.  The band played the first song then went through the whole "Great to see you Jacksonville" etc routine.  Midway through the second song Billy waved the band to stop playing and broke out into a solo.  It was ok but it's not like he's a great guitar player.  Then they played their third song and midway through Billy again waved the band silent, introduced each of the members giving them a few seconds of solo play, and then broke into another guitar solo himself.  A lot of the stuff from the first solo was repeated and nothing good was added.  Then came the fourth song and they played all the way through.  Whew, he's done with solos.

Not    So   Fast.

Fifth song Billy again waves the band silent (I'm surprised anybody stayed in this band.  I guess money and drugs can make you do strange things) and he broke into another solo.   At this point the crowd started chanting "Saga   Saga   Saga"  It got louder and louder as it spread and finally Billy boy realized what was going on.  He stopped playing and stomped (all 5'6" of intimidating girly man ) up to the microphone .  He shouted into the mike "Stop that shiat right now or this concert is over!!"  And unfortunately the crowd quieted down.   The band went back to playing but Billy didn't try any more solos.
2013-02-09 02:46:59 PM
1 votes:

Close2TheEdge: List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.


"Our sincerist apologies to those whose conversations we're interrupting."  Love it.

On the Thrak tour, Fripp used to sit among the effects racks under minimal stage lighting, believing that he was better heard than seen.  He got a fan letter complaining that he wasn't visible to the audience, so he sent the writer a check for one-sixth of the ticket price (as Fripp was one-sixth of the band).

A purist, a master troll, and, in many ways, an anachronism.
2013-02-09 02:15:09 PM
1 votes:
media.irishcentral.com
You people forgot this asshole...
2013-02-09 01:47:01 PM
1 votes:
I would start a list of the douchiest vocalists of all time, but there just ain't enough internet to do that.
2013-02-09 01:07:19 PM
1 votes:

awfulperson: Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS


I think this one defines Malmsteen a little better:
Guitar Lesson
2013-02-09 12:53:21 PM
1 votes:

Onkel Buck: Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that


Unless your name is Edward Van Halen.
2013-02-09 11:37:51 AM
1 votes:
Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS
2013-02-09 11:07:27 AM
1 votes:

mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.


Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.
2013-02-09 10:13:40 AM
1 votes:

strangveyn: No Jack White on this list? I'm callin' BS. 

Actually it's Jack's fans who proclaim him as a musical genius despite the fact that every band he's involved with sounds like the White Stripes with a few more instruments.


I was waiting for this.Jack White is THE douchiest of all time. ALL TIME.
2013-02-09 09:18:46 AM
1 votes:
Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.
2013-02-09 08:35:28 AM
1 votes:
static.igossip.com

Behold, King of the Douches.
2013-02-09 03:42:44 AM
1 votes:
I know he's not a guitarist, but any douche ist is incomplete without Axl Rose, I don't care if it's 'Douchiest 1-Legged Blind Panamanian Pastry Chef Of All Time', Axl has to be on the list.
2013-02-09 02:34:35 AM
1 votes:
Remember the days when one neck on a guitar seemed sufficient?

Not as fondly as I remember the days when 10 items could fit on one page instead of four pages.
2013-02-09 12:14:37 AM
1 votes:

JasonKY: Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.



i45.tinypic.com
2013-02-09 12:09:42 AM
1 votes:

Crewmannumber6: First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.


Holy shiat. Isn't that from like an Extreme or a Winger song or some pretentious wussy early 90's butt-rock?
2013-02-09 12:09:35 AM
1 votes:
Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.
2013-02-08 11:26:33 PM
1 votes:
List is missing Ted Nugent and Dave Mustaine who are both so douchy they should have Massengill branded on their foreheads. That being said Phill Anselmo is douchier than everyone on that list combined.
2013-02-08 11:21:55 PM
1 votes:
But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?
2013-02-08 10:47:59 PM
1 votes:
I was going to add "that dude from White Lion", but then I looked him up-- and feel like a farking asshole.
2013-02-08 10:21:51 PM
1 votes:

Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.


I will assume you are referencing a hipster band I have never heard of. If you are, in any way, disparaging Dave Murray, Adrian Smith or Janick Gers, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Up the Irons
\m/
2013-02-08 10:13:32 PM
1 votes:

MFAWG: ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.

Morello can play.


Sure...but the list doesn't have anything to do with ability.
2013-02-08 09:56:03 PM
1 votes:
I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.
2013-02-08 09:44:55 PM
1 votes:
Holy sour grapes, batman!

None of the behavior described in the article was actually "douchy".

Kids, this is what will happen if you grow up thinking you're going to be a rock god, but instead wind up writing crappy articles for some blog.
2013-02-08 09:42:08 PM
1 votes:
Article is dildos

i1135.photobucket.com
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report