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(Village Voice)   Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time - feel free to add or subtract to this list on the right   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 260
    More: Fail, B.B. King  
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11195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2013 at 9:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-09 08:56:50 AM  

dugitman: But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?


Oh hell yea. The fans of his jazz stuff that hate the fact that he's wasting his time in Wilco are the real douches.

Love what he brought to dad-rock.
 
2013-02-09 08:59:08 AM  

vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.


Douchey or not, I like his music. Even the new project.

That list was awful, for reasons that have already been stated.
 
2013-02-09 09:01:52 AM  
Zappa. He raked in the big bucks while the rest of The Mothers got paid scale.
 
2013-02-09 09:18:46 AM  
Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.
 
2013-02-09 09:28:24 AM  

Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?


I'm sure there's plenty, man, but look carefully here:

The Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time...
 
2013-02-09 09:28:39 AM  
I will assume you are referencing a hipster band I have never heard of. If you are, in any way, disparaging Dave Murray, Adrian Smith or Janick Gers, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Up the Irons


THIS. Smith and Murray are farking  masters and whether you like Maiden or not you must give and show them respect. Now Gers? Well, lets put it this way- if he truly sucked, Arry would've sacked him long ago.
 
2013-02-09 09:31:15 AM  

AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....


Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.

Frank would stay in separate, suite level hotel rooms while the band stayed in fleabag motels, would fire band members for getting high (in the 60's & 70's ... REALLY?) file lawsuits against people he thought were trying to make more money than he was, berate band members on and off stage, regularly cheated on his wife, was an absentee father because touring was more important than raising his kids, even after he didn't need the money ... the list goes on and on.  Read "Zappa" by Barry Miles.  Much more informative and objective than "The Real Frank Zappa Book".  He really does tell the truth about what the man was really like.

Fantastic musician and composer, a true definition of the word, "genius", unparalleled in his art, one of the GOAT's.  But like Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Buddy Rich and Miles Davis, a colossal dickbag of a human being on just about every level.
 
2013-02-09 09:32:08 AM  
They forgot Steve Miller. He is a cock and balls in person. I had more enjoyment dealing with Stevie Nicks' tech and crew rider (which was pretty farked up given the average age of the band and techs).
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-09 09:41:15 AM  

Harry_Seldon: Ghastly: [sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net image 540x720]

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.

That is really not fair. Is there any way to pay a keytar, and not look like a douche?


Yes, but you have to be Herbie Hancock first.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-09 09:47:30 AM  

firesign: Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?

I'm sure there's plenty, man, but look carefully here:

The Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time...



Danzig has played guitar on all of the band Danzig albums since "Danzig 4p".

//Danzig
 
2013-02-09 09:54:18 AM  
Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.
 
2013-02-09 09:56:27 AM  

MmmmBacon: I will say this list is incomplete without Vinnie Vincent. Ask the guys from Slaughter (they used to be The Vinnie Vincent Invasion, before the record company fired Vincent) about VV's legendary douchiness.


Can you tell me how I can get in touch with Slaughter so I can ask them?
 
kab
2013-02-09 09:59:35 AM  

John Redcorn: Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.


And that doesn't sound like an off-base, sweeping generalization at all.
 
2013-02-09 10:09:24 AM  
Gonna through Dave Mustaine out there...saw him last year and I have never witnessed anyone so high on themselves.

After every song, the rest of the band must leave the stage so that Mustaine can absorb all of the applause for himself.  After the first song that he did this for, the crowd started to boo him off of stage.  It just made him more of a douche.  He easily could have been #1 on this list.
 
2013-02-09 10:13:40 AM  

strangveyn: No Jack White on this list? I'm callin' BS. 

Actually it's Jack's fans who proclaim him as a musical genius despite the fact that every band he's involved with sounds like the White Stripes with a few more instruments.


I was waiting for this.Jack White is THE douchiest of all time. ALL TIME.
 
2013-02-09 10:14:51 AM  

John Redcorn: Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.


    I hate to ask what you think about keyboard players that can play left hand keybass....or God forbid;kick pedals..
 
2013-02-09 10:30:25 AM  
A lot of people defending Vai here, which is weird.  He's one of the phoniest people on the planet.

And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.
 
2013-02-09 10:30:31 AM  
Where's The Edge?
 
2013-02-09 10:38:12 AM  
All the G.E. Smith hate in this thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But mostly I love the folks ardently defending Satriani, guitar's answer to Rush Limbaugh. A master of the craft of talking endlessly while saying absolutely nothing.
 
2013-02-09 10:49:59 AM  
That list is failtastic.
 
2013-02-09 10:50:16 AM  

StinkyFiddlewinks: Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.


Yeah but he gets a pass for life for writing Holy Wars. That song is awesome. Even better watching it live.
 
2013-02-09 11:00:15 AM  
Staffa Kar Therma:
Danzig has played guitar on all of the band Danzig albums since "Danzig 4p".

//Danzig


Fair I suppose, though he's certainly been hiring outside guys (most notably Tommy Victor) for any serious guitar leads.

But still, when they air the Family Feud episode with the question "Musically speaking, Glen Danzig is most well-known as a __________?", the answer board is going to look like:

Asshole    72
Singer      23
"Wasn't he in the Misfits?"   4
Guitarist    1

And that last one's only happening if they ask you.
 
2013-02-09 11:03:03 AM  

Thunderboy: And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.


SAY IT AIN'T SO!  His work is astounding!  He blew my mind when I saw him in NYC at the Masada Marathon ... probably the best concert I've ever seen in my life.
 
2013-02-09 11:06:55 AM  
Know who isn't a massive douchebag? Ler from Primus. One of the nicest dudes I've had the pleasure of meeting.
 
2013-02-09 11:07:27 AM  

mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.


Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.
 
2013-02-09 11:07:36 AM  

qsblues: AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....

Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.


I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?
 
2013-02-09 11:08:40 AM  

mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.


Dude, he was just happy that people still remembered him, and didn't make that irritating as hell talking guitar sound.  Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

If a musician gets parodied on, "The Simpsons", chances are they belong on this list anyway.
 
2013-02-09 11:16:14 AM  

GypsyJoker: I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?


No freaking idea, since Phish isn't around anymore, and since they probably had the money and a stable of lawyers to back them up.  Hell, they might've even asked her permission to play the songs anyway.  Gail was picking on local bar bands in LA, and wherever she happened to be at the time.  Not sure if she's still doing it, but it's well documented that she targeted bands who can't afford to pay up.  There are tons of bands that play his stuff, just like any other cover band, but if she happens to be nearby, legal shenanigans are sure to follow soon.

Granted, ths was going on shortly following Frank's death in 1994, so I'm not even sure that it's still going on.  But in the Zappaverse, it was a huge point of contention, and one of the main reasons why Dweezil formed ZPZ, so people could be exposed to his music again.
 
2013-02-09 11:21:47 AM  

qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.


So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.
 
2013-02-09 11:23:12 AM  

hamdinger: Crewmannumber6: First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.

Holy shiat. Isn't that from like an Extreme or a Winger song or some pretentious wussy early 90's butt-rock?


Um........what?
 
2013-02-09 11:28:32 AM  

qsblues: GypsyJoker: I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?

No freaking idea, since Phish isn't around anymore, and since they probably had the money and a stable of lawyers to back them up.  Hell, they might've even asked her permission to play the songs anyway.  Gail was picking on local bar bands in LA, and wherever she happened to be at the time.  Not sure if she's still doing it, but it's well documented that she targeted bands who can't afford to pay up.  There are tons of bands that play his stuff, just like any other cover band, but if she happens to be nearby, legal shenanigans are sure to follow soon.

Granted, ths was going on shortly following Frank's death in 1994, so I'm not even sure that it's still going on.  But in the Zappaverse, it was a huge point of contention, and one of the main reasons why Dweezil formed ZPZ, so people could be exposed to his music again.


GZ does sound like a raging douche herself.

Actually, I caught Phish last May in St. Louis and they played "Peaches."  (That's why I was reminded of it.)  I think they're still touring.  Good point about the big-money band being able to afford lawyers, though.  Sucks to be the little guy in all this.

At least Robert Fripp only took on people bigger than him (Grooveshark, etc.) regarding use of King Crimson's music.  A shame, though, that he retired the band so he could concentrate on legal battles.  I would put him in the "douchey" category, but at least all of his behavior is both consistent and logical, and generally beneficial to his bandmates.  (He did, however, re-record some of their older work to avoid paying extra royalties to former Crim bassist/vocalist Gordon Haskell, by having Tony Levin and Adrian Belew provide new bass and vocals for Haskell's tracks on one of the Crimson compilations.)
 
2013-02-09 11:34:59 AM  

GypsyJoker: qsblues: AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....

Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.

I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?



   Thank you for that reply....On another off topic note...I did a show with John Kay and Steppenwolf maybe 25 years ago..Those were very smoky,hazy days..My only timeframe is Les Dudek was playing guitar for him....The guys told me John was absolutely rabid fanatical about tracking down anyone,and especially former original members,who used the word Steppenwolf with any promo about anything they might be doing...He put a cease and desist order on,I believe it was Goldie,the organ guy, who was playing a Friday night at a 100 seat bar for putting Goldie..Formerly Of Steppenwolf..on the marquee...I think John Fogarty went after his own brother for that CCR Revisited band....
 
2013-02-09 11:37:51 AM  
Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS
 
2013-02-09 11:45:54 AM  

vogonity: So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.


Actually, I did give examples.  They are listed in comments above.  Granted, the man did have the Midas Touch when it came to making musicians' careers; Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, George Duke, Aynsly Dunbar, Chad Wackerman, and countless others have lifelong careers because they were in Zappa's bands.  But anyone of them will tell you, when you were in his band, it was WORK, on top of how demanding and critical he was.  Besides not sharing any writing credits with anyone, even if they did compose on his works, he paid them flat scale, while he made the majority of the money.  The way he ridiculed the audience was legendary.  Hell, just pick up a book and read about the guy.
 
2013-02-09 11:46:40 AM  

vogonity: qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.

So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.


He fired Lowell George for writing Willin'.
 
2013-02-09 11:58:46 AM  

qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.


What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".
 
2013-02-09 12:02:17 PM  

tobcc: I think Neal Schon should be on the list. He Fired Steve Perry from Journey, Ego killed the band and untold millions of dollars to himself.


And his solo ventures are akin to watching a man in his late 50s masturbate on stage with a guitar.  Pure self-indulgence.

/you can hear the fapping
 
2013-02-09 12:07:48 PM  

qsblues: vogonity: So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.

Actually, I did give examples.  They are listed in comments above.  Granted, the man did have the Midas Touch when it came to making musicians' careers; Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, George Duke, Aynsly Dunbar, Chad Wackerman, and countless others have lifelong careers because they were in Zappa's bands.  But anyone of them will tell you, when you were in his band, it was WORK, on top of how demanding and critical he was.  Besides not sharing any writing credits with anyone, even if they did compose on his works, he paid them flat scale, while he made the majority of the money.  The way he ridiculed the audience was legendary.  Hell, just pick up a book and read about the guy.


Sure 'nuff you did give examples (good ones too) and I didn't see them. Sorry.  I was never really under any impression that he wasn't a douche, but bad on me for missing the obvious earlier posts.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:31 PM  

JohnnyApocalypse: Some of you may hate G.E. Smith mugging


It's not just that he's mugging, it's that he's wearing his "I'm such a badass totally tearing it up" face when he's really playing two things: jack and shiat.

drewogatory: All the G.E. Smith hate in this thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But mostly I love the folks ardently defending Satriani, guitar's answer to Rush Limbaugh. A master of the craft of talking endlessly while saying absolutely nothing.


Well said!

Interesting points made by several along the thread:
- stage persona, which is part of what audiences are paying to see, doesn't necessarily equate to actual personality
- Unaccomplished, uncelebrated musicians, some of whom are surely bigger egomaniacs than those listed, don't get noticed
 
2013-02-09 12:14:19 PM  

dugitman: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x378]

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


GE did have one of the worst cases of guitar face that I've ever seen.
 
2013-02-09 12:20:24 PM  
Weren't all "lead" guitarists from the "Shred" era douches?
But, Jonny Greenwood gets my vote for most pretentious douch.
 
2013-02-09 12:38:46 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.


Hahaha! Duly noted, sir.

qsblues: Dude, he was just happy that people still remembered him, and didn't make that irritating as hell talking guitar sound.


Yeah, fair enough, but why did he have to piss all over what would have been a great show?

Maybe I should just let it go. After all, it's been... holy shiat, 24 years? Wow, I'm old. I has a sad.
 
2013-02-09 12:46:01 PM  
Yngwie should be number one, he didnt want to take a doghnut that Dimebag offered him.


/ Surprsied they didnt mention Vinnie Moore, Vinnie Vincent, Dave Mustaine, or Buckethead
//And of course the list totally fails without
i26.photobucket.com
Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that, except for Dave Grohl, he gets a pass forever
 
2013-02-09 12:50:30 PM  

qsblues: Thunderboy: And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.

SAY IT AIN'T SO!  His work is astounding!  He blew my mind when I saw him in NYC at the Masada Marathon ... probably the best concert I've ever seen in my life.


Classic case of incredible talent/terrible personality.  Working in that scene for the last 15 years killed most of my heroes, which made me appreciate the survivors even more.
 
2013-02-09 12:52:44 PM  
I forgot to mention Gary Hoey. His re-hashed christmas albums are wank fests!
 
2013-02-09 12:53:21 PM  

Onkel Buck: Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that


Unless your name is Edward Van Halen.
 
2013-02-09 12:55:37 PM  
This thread reminds me of a joke.

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10. One to do it and 9 to stand around saying they could have done it better
 
2013-02-09 01:03:50 PM  

Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?


John Christ looks more scray than douchey and he isnt all that technical. Not like the other players on the list
 
2013-02-09 01:04:50 PM  
Vai can come across as pretty pretentious, but he's a cool guy. Same with Satch, and in both cases their reputations are more due to their fans' reverence for them than their own behavior.
 
2013-02-09 01:07:19 PM  

awfulperson: Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS


I think this one defines Malmsteen a little better:
Guitar Lesson
 
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