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(Village Voice)   Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time - feel free to add or subtract to this list on the right   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 260
    More: Fail, B.B. King  
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11195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2013 at 9:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-08 11:59:49 PM  

theflatline: MBP2112: No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL

Prince owns whatever genre he wants too, but you know, he aint white, so he aint got chops.  Prince is the only guitarist who could match eruption.

Hendrix was a great blues guitarist, but Eddie just is and was the man.  When did Jimi ever finger tap?

Watch mayer slash and zztop, mayer owns slash.


Hungh?  I never said Prince didn't have chops, he's wicked underrated as a matter of fact.  But he's also got a big reputation for being a douche.

Oops, almost forgot... add Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme.
 
2013-02-08 11:59:52 PM  

Tyrosine: List is missing Ted Nugent and Dave Mustaine who are both so douchy they should have Massengill branded on their foreheads. That being said Phill Anselmo is douchier than everyone on that list combined.


Yeah, but Nugent and Mustaine are douchebags for reasons separate from their music, which wasn't really the point of this particular list. They were going for the bombastic, self-indulgent wankery kinds of guitarists, and you can't really say that Mustaine's playing falls into that category (at least, no more than any other metal guitarist).
 
2013-02-09 12:00:35 AM  
FFS, Batio is an excellent example of talent producing shiat!  What farkin' wanker "metal" that is!  Fist-pumping elevator music.
 
2013-02-09 12:01:50 AM  
First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.

Second, half of the people on that list I've never heard of.

With regards to Rick Neilson, fark off writer

As for John Mayer, he is actually pretty good at the blues

1derful: The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.


First, they gave themselves those names before they even owned instruments. Secondly, he's pretty much said more than once that they performed their original songs because they weren't good enough to cover anyone else's. Don't blame him because people keep buying their records.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:35 AM  
Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:42 AM  

Crewmannumber6: First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.


Holy shiat. Isn't that from like an Extreme or a Winger song or some pretentious wussy early 90's butt-rock?
 
2013-02-09 12:14:37 AM  

JasonKY: Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.



i45.tinypic.com
 
ecl
2013-02-09 12:18:23 AM  

JasonKY: Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.

i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-09 12:21:32 AM  
Am I the only person to notice the article lists C.C. Deville but has a video of Wes Borland?
 
2013-02-09 12:45:01 AM  
I'll just add to the Rick Nielsen is awesome, party. He. Is. Farking. Awesome. Saw them most recently on their Dream Police tour. Great. Their whole gig has always been a lark- a good reason to rock out and have a bit of fun. And their Sgt Pepper tribute shows were great too.
 
2013-02-09 12:50:52 AM  

nucular bum: Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.


This. He's the biggest douche of them all.

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Maybe he's trolling??

/it would have been very obvious if he put SRV on his list.
 
kab
2013-02-09 12:56:19 AM  
Take off the list:

EVH
Nielson

Add:

Mustaine
Nugent

And you're getting somewhere.   Satch really doesn't belong on the list either.
 
2013-02-09 01:07:19 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.


That is magical.
 
2013-02-09 01:12:39 AM  

Solid State Vittles: I don't think Rick Nielsen is being serious, fella.


Came here to say that.  It's a joke.  He's poking fun at the real douche guitarists.
 
2013-02-09 01:16:26 AM  

loki see loki do: /and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?


Agreed.  Page should be on the list for stealing all his good stuff from old black blues guys.
 
2013-02-09 01:19:51 AM  

MBP2112: No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL


Good call.  Prince has more talent than any one person deserves.  But he's one of the biggest assholes in the entertainment industry.
 
2013-02-09 01:25:55 AM  
RE: Comments so far
*************************************************************
What about GE Smith's stellar work with Hall and Oates?

Prince is a GOD.

Tommy Emmanuel is a very likeable guy I've had the pleasure of interviewing several times.

Rick Neilsen is a great showman whose onstage persona is not to be taken seriously.
 
2013-02-09 01:32:21 AM  

Virtual Pariah: vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.

I think in this article it means whomever the writer found while Googling. The article stinks of "I owe 2000 words in about an hour."


Bravo.
 
2013-02-09 02:10:55 AM  
I refuse to hate on Steve Vai after watching the ending to Crossroads. It was best guitar solos ever played.
 
2013-02-09 02:12:23 AM  

flamingboar: I refuse to hate on Steve Vai after watching the ending to Crossroads. It was best guitar solos ever played.


Everyone knows Ralph Macchio played all that stuff and just let Vai take credit for it. Jeez.
 
2013-02-09 02:22:56 AM  
Douchiest guitar players of all time article written by even bigger douche than all 10 combined
 
2013-02-09 02:27:00 AM  

Rent Party: Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.

Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.


I smell a hater.
 
2013-02-09 02:32:26 AM  

Dr.Zom: EVH is both awesome and douchey. Unfortunately, his doucheyness ultimately ruined his awesomeness.

List fails hard without Nugent. Douchey and not a great guitarist. He's not fit to clean Rick Nielsen's checkered shoes.


I'm seeing a lot of Nugent-hate in the comments and that's fine. But I think the list equates "douchey" with being arrogant and full of themselves onstage. I've seen Nugent in concert twice (Whiplash Bash in Detroit) and he doesn't come off as arrogant. Regardless of whether or not you like his politics, he seems to be pretty down to earth and self-depricating on stage. Not douchey at all.
 
2013-02-09 02:34:35 AM  
Remember the days when one neck on a guitar seemed sufficient?

Not as fondly as I remember the days when 10 items could fit on one page instead of four pages.
 
2013-02-09 02:34:56 AM  

StinkyFiddlewinks: Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.


Ya. That guy shiat himself after 911.

I don't consider concentrating and loving your instrument to be douchey, so the article fell pretty flat for me.
 
2013-02-09 02:48:04 AM  
 
2013-02-09 03:17:09 AM  
sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.
 
2013-02-09 03:22:39 AM  
If you think you're better than others, then you're a douche.


/but I'm one for telling you this...
 
2013-02-09 03:42:44 AM  
I know he's not a guitarist, but any douche ist is incomplete without Axl Rose, I don't care if it's 'Douchiest 1-Legged Blind Panamanian Pastry Chef Of All Time', Axl has to be on the list.
 
2013-02-09 03:49:51 AM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Yeah, I don't think he actually understands the term "douche". So far, I'm to CC DeVille, and he seems to be the only one with actual douchey behavior or a douchey attitude. The rest seem to make the list if they have big hair, play well or are showy in any way. Hell, it seems Nielsen makes the list solely because he has a 5 necked guitar.

Shiatty article. I expect F-A-R better from a Village Voice piece.
 
2013-02-09 04:00:21 AM  

WhippingBoy: Kids, this is what will happen if you grow up thinking you're going to be a rock god, but instead wind up writing crappy articles for some blog.


V V isn't "some blog". They are actually rather respected, and when they got purchased by Phoenix New Times, their respect grew. That said, this writer has no farking idea what he is talking about. I don't know how this piece of shiat made it past the editor.
 
2013-02-09 04:04:45 AM  

ScouserDuck: MFAWG: ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.

Morello can play.

Sure...but the list doesn't have anything to do with ability.


Actually it does. Almost everyone he called out as a "douche" seems to have "can play" as their Great Sin. The list shouldn't have anything to do with ability, but to this whiny, bitter motherfarker, apparently "skill" automatically equals "douche".
 
2013-02-09 04:35:37 AM  

kab: Take off the list:

EVH


Nope, EVH IS a douche. Not because of Eruption, or because of skill, but because he is a farking douche. It should set off some warning bells when your band has gone through 3 vocalists and two for sure mentioned that they can't get along with the guitarist(Not sure about Gary Cherone), as well as one of the founding members of the damned band. When the only person left that you haven't driven away screaming is your brother, there's a good chance that you're a douche.

Talented? Fark yes! Douche? FARK YES!!
 
2013-02-09 04:37:46 AM  

OgreMagi: loki see loki do: /and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?

Agreed.  Page should be on the list for stealing all his good stuff from old black blues guys.


Just like everyone else has done? Including the "old black blues guys"? Zeppelin did nothing that nobody had done before and everybody is still doing. It's been going on since Blues and Jazz existed.
 
2013-02-09 04:52:44 AM  

Ghastly: [sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net image 540x720]

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.


That is really not fair. Is there any way to pay a keytar, and not look like a douche?
 
2013-02-09 05:07:21 AM  
No hate for Danzig?
 
2013-02-09 05:18:38 AM  
List fails without Vivian Campbell.
 
2013-02-09 05:42:32 AM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


It sounded to me the writer of the article has a personal grudge against the majority of the guys on this list, for some unknown slight. His primary issue with Steve Vai seems to be the facial expressions he makes while playing. I always interpreted those as Vai getting lost in the song he was playing, he always seemed to thoroughly enjoy playing music to me. But the author of this piece takes those expressions as Vai somehow thinking he is better than his audience?

The author has serious issues with successful guitarists. That makes him a lot douchier than the guys on his list, except for Yngwie Malmsteen, who has a well-known God Complex.
 
2013-02-09 05:46:08 AM  
I will say this list is incomplete without Vinnie Vincent. Ask the guys from Slaughter (they used to be The Vinnie Vincent Invasion, before the record company fired Vincent) about VV's legendary douchiness.
 
2013-02-09 06:26:38 AM  

AxL sANe: Vai?  Really?  He has got to be one of the coolest musicians I have seen play live


Went to see one of the Hendrix tribute shows which Vai was a part of last year. At one point he started playing with his tongue. That is all.
 
2013-02-09 06:49:50 AM  
I think if the author actually spent real time researching the article instead of naming some guys off the top of his head, it might have been worth a read. First, what defines douche? His definition of O face and multiple neck playing is fail. That's theatrics. Your EXPECTED to move around, strut, emote, and you know, not just be a statue playing. It depends on the genre, but generally, guitarists are expected to put on a show. Some of you may hate G.E. Smith mugging (I know I wasn't particularly fond of it myself growing up), but mugging and showing off onstage just isn't douche material. If he mugged and played while continually walking in front of the lead singer, maybe. Smith's onstage and offstage are different.

Ego can make anyone douchey, but there's a difference between getting douchey and being a douche. There's also, for some guitarists that may make your list, the problem of WAS a douche and IS NO LONGER a douche. Blackmore is very happy with what he does now, and his control freakishness won't destroy his rock band any longer (since he's way out of rock). Mustaine lost his grudge. Hetfield finally got his fark it attitude back. Probably all that therapy finally paid off. As mentioned above, Vai may have had moments, but is generally a very cool guy. If you ever get a chance to see him talk about Zappa and the simple and loving look in his eyes for a lost friend and teacher, you will never make the claim ever again that Vai is a douche.

Mayer is an odd duck, he's a pretty down to earth guy... when he's not being a douche. I think he becomes a douche because he must be a sex addict, and that is his freaking mating call.

Malmsteen will always take my top spot.
 
2013-02-09 07:07:24 AM  

dugitman: But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?


I agree
 
2013-02-09 07:20:39 AM  
Both you and your editor thought it was "shoe-in," huh?
 
2013-02-09 07:48:10 AM  
This is the Village People Voice....to them, anyone is a douche that it isn't butthole surfing every dude within a 5 mile radius of their home.

Rick Nielsen....douche?  Right.....
 
2013-02-09 08:18:43 AM  
I guess according to subby if you can actually play your guitar well you are a douche.  I'll admit EVH is a douche as nobody can seem to work with him, but there's no doubting the guy's genius.  The list should have guitar players that think they're great and actually suck (ala Jack White).  My guess is that subby is a shiatty guitar player.   Nugent and Mustaine definitely top the list for me, although both of them can actually play
 
2013-02-09 08:26:08 AM  
dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey

Excellent, excellent call. The first few times I saw Smith doing his orgasm-face schtick on SNL I seriously thought he was doing some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque "this is how douchetacular guitar douches douche it up" performance piece. Then once I realized he wasn't kidding, I was amazed at how many times he got to stink up otherwise great performances by guest musicians with his cartoonish, unncecessary strutting and guitar-hero f#ck facing.
 
2013-02-09 08:32:35 AM  
Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.
 
2013-02-09 08:35:28 AM  
static.igossip.com

Behold, King of the Douches.
 
2013-02-09 08:46:13 AM  

qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.



That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....
 
2013-02-09 08:51:17 AM  
Nuno Bettencourt formerly of Extreme. That guy wasn't just a douche, he was an arrogant prick and an asshole.
 
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