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(Village Voice)   Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time - feel free to add or subtract to this list on the right   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 260
    More: Fail, B.B. King  
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11195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2013 at 9:21 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



260 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-08 07:31:54 PM  
Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.
 
2013-02-08 08:20:08 PM  
Douchiest list, you mean.

Here's the #1 douche guitarist: Neil Gerardo.
 
2013-02-08 08:43:39 PM  
I don't think Rick Nielsen is being serious, fella.
 
2013-02-08 08:48:30 PM  
I think you can be a guitar wanker without being a douche, but it seems impossible to be a guitar douche without being a wanker. Food for thought.
 
2013-02-08 09:05:59 PM  
The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?
 
2013-02-08 09:09:17 PM  
I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...
 
2013-02-08 09:16:16 PM  
Not clicking, but is the entire list Ted Nugent 10 times?
 
2013-02-08 09:17:14 PM  
gunshyassassin.com

earsucker.com
 
2013-02-08 09:18:40 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...


That's the whole farking point of playing Rock

//plus the "O" face for the solo money shot
 
2013-02-08 09:27:49 PM  
Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.
 
2013-02-08 09:28:26 PM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Yeah seems like it, all the guitarists mentioned are good musicians but go where they can make a living, there is no nobility in poverty.
 
2013-02-08 09:30:43 PM  
Although he's one of my all time faves, I think Ritchie Blackmore pretty much invented the concept of Guitar Douche.
 
2013-02-08 09:35:28 PM  
  Nigel Tufnel
 
2013-02-08 09:37:28 PM  
I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.
 
2013-02-08 09:38:16 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.
 
2013-02-08 09:38:42 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-08 09:39:39 PM  
That's one lame list.

Really, The best you could do is that? You called out Rick Nielsen?
Writer FAIL.
 
2013-02-08 09:40:30 PM  
Yngwie? ... ok. Satch?! FARK OFF, he's an awesome dude.
 
2013-02-08 09:41:34 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


Yup.
So can MAB. But, he has to drop the wig.
 
2013-02-08 09:42:08 PM  
Article is dildos

i1135.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-08 09:43:02 PM  

fusillade762: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x319]


Dammit
 
2013-02-08 09:43:40 PM  
Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.
 
2013-02-08 09:44:55 PM  
Holy sour grapes, batman!

None of the behavior described in the article was actually "douchy".

Kids, this is what will happen if you grow up thinking you're going to be a rock god, but instead wind up writing crappy articles for some blog.
 
2013-02-08 09:46:51 PM  
The Edge tops every douche on this list, except maybe John Mayer.


While everybody on that list is an amazing douche nozzle, at least they're pretty good at their instrument.


The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.
 
2013-02-08 09:47:28 PM  

had98c: Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.


I won't argue with what Eddie became, but if you were there in 1978, Eruption was mind-blowing and ground-breaking.  People thought he was somehow using studio trickery to use it, to the point where on the next album he did it again on an acoustic.  He deserves the credit, you can't take it away from him.
 
2013-02-08 09:49:15 PM  
How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.
 
2013-02-08 09:49:39 PM  

thermo: PhiloeBedoe: I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...

That's the whole farking point of being a poseur. Playing Rock or any genre for that matter is about creating something that people actually want to listen to.

//plus the "O" face for the solo money shot

if you're a poseur.


Fixed that for you
 
2013-02-08 09:50:18 PM  
No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!
 
Slu
2013-02-08 09:53:31 PM  

Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!


Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.
 
2013-02-08 09:54:52 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


I think that was the point.  He wasn't trying to make fun of the guitar center heroes.  These guys have the skills, but he's scared of their O faces.
 
2013-02-08 09:54:56 PM  

guilt by association: How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.


Dude can play...see "The Trio".

/seriously
 
2013-02-08 09:55:09 PM  

Earguy: had98c: Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.

I won't argue with what Eddie became, but if you were there in 1978, Eruption was mind-blowing and ground-breaking.  People thought he was somehow using studio trickery to use it, to the point where on the next album he did it again on an acoustic.  He deserves the credit, you can't take it away from him.


Eddie Van Halen is awesome and the author of this article is .... well I'm not going to stoop to his puerile name-calling level and call him a douchebag but he's a douchebag.
 
2013-02-08 09:56:03 PM  
I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.
 
2013-02-08 10:03:01 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.
 
2013-02-08 10:03:21 PM  
I've never seen John Mayer play guitar.  He's good - I've heard him play - but I've never SEEN it.

Yeah, he looked top of the douche pile.
 
2013-02-08 10:04:36 PM  

guilt by association: How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.


John Mayer is a freak with a guitar.  The dude has legitimate chops.
 
2013-02-08 10:04:52 PM  
Bullshiat list is bullshiat.

Eddie made it OK for Rock to be fun again.

Malmsteen and Satriani? Genuine masters.

Nielson? His whole gig is a parody, and he is awesome at it. Also fun.

/and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?

//runs
 
2013-02-08 10:05:57 PM  
www.hollywoodtoday.net

Do Douchettes count as well?
 
2013-02-08 10:06:37 PM  
No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.
 
2013-02-08 10:09:06 PM  
I can't really participate in a serious discussion about music when the person who started it doesn't "get" the guy from Cheap Trick.

Gonna have to ask to add the guy from Rage Against The Machine to the list, though. He's a tool bag just because they added a special disclaimer to their albums telling everyone that no synthesizers were used like he has to jerk himself off that much more. Know who never had to add a disclaimer to an album to tell fans what was up? Thurson Moore.
 
2013-02-08 10:10:15 PM  

ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.


Morello can play.
 
2013-02-08 10:13:32 PM  

MFAWG: ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.

Morello can play.


Sure...but the list doesn't have anything to do with ability.
 
2013-02-08 10:13:43 PM  

vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.


I think in this article it means whomever the writer found while Googling. The article stinks of "I owe 2000 words in about an hour."
 
2013-02-08 10:13:56 PM  
I think Fred Durst should qualify, just for that one glorious moment he makes a complete ass of himself on the guitar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MI-_jWAmlE
 
2013-02-08 10:16:05 PM  
Steve Vai played guitar for Frank Zappa.


Nobody should have a tuft of hair under their lower lip, however.
 
2013-02-08 10:17:50 PM  
I think Neal Schon should be on the list. He Fired Steve Perry from Journey, Ego killed the band and untold millions of dollars to himself.
 
2013-02-08 10:18:57 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.


Why is the drummer fenced off with bubble wrap?
 
2013-02-08 10:21:08 PM  
EVH is plenty enough douche on his own, but anyone that bags on Eruption should simply state "I have no idea what I'm talking about."

Guitar time is measured in BEVH and AEVH time frames.  Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.  And that is it.  It's a seminal work in the history of rock and roll.  Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.  You have to be a colossal douche not to recognize it.
 
2013-02-08 10:21:51 PM  

Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.


I will assume you are referencing a hipster band I have never heard of. If you are, in any way, disparaging Dave Murray, Adrian Smith or Janick Gers, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Up the Irons
\m/
 
2013-02-08 10:25:04 PM  
a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey
 
2013-02-08 10:25:18 PM  
No mention of the guy who shows up to every party with his guitar and plays John Mayer songs to make the girls think he's some sort of sensitive bad boy?


/you sound terrible
//learn more than four chords
 
2013-02-08 10:25:30 PM  
You really need a "Top 50" for this kind of list.
 
2013-02-08 10:28:10 PM  
Tom Morello and Billy Corgan are 2 examples.

Like their music but holy crap, they're insane. Matt Bellamy I thought was should be on the list but he sounds sane at times.
 
2013-02-08 10:28:48 PM  

dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


Dylan fired him for his "Look at me! " antics.
 
2013-02-08 10:29:56 PM  

El Dudereno: No mention of the guy who shows up to every party with his guitar and plays John Mayer songs to make the girls think he's some sort of sensitive bad boy?


/you sound terrible
//learn more than four chords

 
2013-02-08 10:30:01 PM  
The list makes sense to me. Anyone who does a 6-minute guitar solo over a basic backing track and calls it a song falls into the douche category if you ask me.

Rent Party: Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.


Exactly, that's why I hate it. Style and flash over substance. No thanks.
 
2013-02-08 10:31:29 PM  
List fails for trying to call out Satriani and Vai, two of chillest dudes to ever pick up the instrument. And also far more musical the Malmsteen IMHO.
 
2013-02-08 10:31:45 PM  

Mr. Chainsaw: The list makes sense to me. Anyone who does a 6-minute guitar solo over a basic backing track and calls it a song falls into the douche category if you ask me.

Rent Party: Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.

Exactly, that's why I hate it. Style and flash over substance. No thanks.


Rent Party: El Dudereno: No mention of the guy who shows up to every party with his guitar and plays John Mayer songs to make the girls think he's some sort of sensitive bad boy?


/you sound terrible
//learn more than four chords


Damn image limits...

http://i.imgur.com/piEGP.gif
 
2013-02-08 10:32:30 PM  
Always dug that Rick Nielsen and the rest of Cheap Trick.

Should've listed that diva Vivian Campbell instead - very rude to the fans and not that grateful to Def Leppard for hiring him while they danced on Steve Clark's grave.
 
2013-02-08 10:33:16 PM  

Mr. Chainsaw: The list makes sense to me. Anyone who does a 6-minute guitar solo over a basic backing track and calls it a song falls into the douche category if you ask me.

Rent Party: Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.

Exactly, that's why I hate it. Style and flash over substance. No thanks.


upload.wikimedia.org

Too many notes.
 
2013-02-08 10:33:48 PM  
Satriani is my favorite guitarist, but he is a bit egotistical and self-indulgent at times (see "Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock").
 
2013-02-08 10:36:20 PM  
Glad to see that Yngwie Malmsteen made the list. Dude's a great guitarist, but a tremendous douche.

And he doesn't like donuts either.
 
2013-02-08 10:36:37 PM  

Rent Party: Too many notes.


laf
 
2013-02-08 10:36:57 PM  

Rent Party: Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.

Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.



What record is that?  Yours?  I'd like to be that horrible.  Dude can play.  So can Vai and Satch.

Agree with mentions of Blackmore, Page, and Corgan.  Would add Jack White.

But then again. it's the Village Voice.
 
2013-02-08 10:37:44 PM  
That list blows.
 
2013-02-08 10:39:13 PM  
EVH is both awesome and douchey. Unfortunately, his doucheyness ultimately ruined his awesomeness.

List fails hard without Nugent. Douchey and not a great guitarist. He's not fit to clean Rick Nielsen's checkered shoes.
 
2013-02-08 10:40:37 PM  

Rent Party: Mr. Chainsaw: The list makes sense to me. Anyone who does a 6-minute guitar solo over a basic backing track and calls it a song falls into the douche category if you ask me.

Rent Party: Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.

Exactly, that's why I hate it. Style and flash over substance. No thanks.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x270]

Too many notes.


   I spent the first ten years learning to play and the last 20 years learning what not to play....
 
2013-02-08 10:42:17 PM  

Eufah Kennidiets: Rent Party: Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.

Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.

Dude can play.  So can Vai and Satch.


Dude can play in the same sense that a calliope can play, or a player piano.   All action, nothing musically.

Here is what he had to say about Satch.

"I like the groovy intro. Sounds like a Strat. But the soloing going over the song is very bad. It's bent out of shape and out of tune. It's very basic bullshiat pentatonic runs. The choice of notes in the solo is completely overdone. That stuff has been done for 30 years! I'm sick and tired off that bending bullshiat. This is the most run-of-the-mill pentatonic playing I ever heard."

He's a douche.
 
 
2013-02-08 10:45:58 PM  
Subby has active envy affliction.
 
2013-02-08 10:47:29 PM  
I think the article is confusing 'ridiculousness' / 'cheezyness' with actual "doucheness" as in the guitarist in question's actual personality  being douchey. (ie. a dick to work with, rude, etc.)

I would nominate Steve Howe...... yes he is an awesome guitarist, but I've heard quotes from a former bandmate or two (ie. John Wetton) that he was a huge ass.
 
2013-02-08 10:47:59 PM  
I was going to add "that dude from White Lion", but then I looked him up-- and feel like a farking asshole.
 
2013-02-08 10:49:07 PM  
Put Nugent at number 6 then you would actually have 10 items in your top ten list instead of 9
 
2013-02-08 10:50:02 PM  

Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.


The name you seek is Janick Gers. Spends more time engaging in histrionics and delivering sloppy, tedious solos than performing the actual tune.

Adrian Smith all day, any day over that clown.
 
2013-02-08 10:56:45 PM  

dugitman: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x378]

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


Spot on!!!!

And when he was with Hall and Oates also.
 
2013-02-08 10:57:21 PM  
hate on mayer for banging all the hot chicks, but he can play, search youtube where he and slash and zztop played lagrange, mayer owned.
 
2013-02-08 10:59:21 PM  
I see Eruption has been defended by Farkers in this thread, so no need to pile on.

What the heck, the author of that article deserves to be piled on. Some of those guys deserved to be called douchie, but not because of their music. Anybody who argues that just hates guitars, and that pretty much invalidates the article from the get-go.
 
2013-02-08 10:59:53 PM  

cygnusx13: Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.

The name you seek is Janick Gers. Spends more time engaging in histrionics and delivering sloppy, tedious solos than performing the actual tune.

Adrian Smith all day, any day over that clown.


I think Janick gets a bad rep. He's far from the best soloist in the band, but his rhythm playing adds some needed punch, and his dueling with Eddie onstage is fun to watch (because let's face it, a big part of Maiden's appeal is the live spectacle). He's also a good songwriter.
 
2013-02-08 11:00:25 PM  
No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL
 
2013-02-08 11:02:51 PM  
sub Nuno B. for Nielsen and you've got a pretty good list
 
2013-02-08 11:05:07 PM  

Solid State Vittles: I don't think Rick Nielsen is being serious, fella.


THIS.

Saw Cheap Trick several time in their prime. Hey,  fail author, thats the joke.Rick Nielsen is a funny guy.

Robin Zander sure sings pretty.
 
2013-02-08 11:05:10 PM  
I'll be the tenth or so person to defend Rick Nielson.   Dude has more fun onstage (and provides more fun) than anyone else on the list.   He's a regular guy and not a celebrity trainwreck.  What is there to hate about the guy?

No Ted Nugent?  Or was the author afraid of getting shot?
 
2013-02-08 11:05:22 PM  
Vai?  Really?  He has got to be one of the coolest musicians I have seen play live - saw him last August in Asheville and he is not only awesome (truly one of the greatest masters and complete players ever) but very interactive with both the band and the audience.  He even brought some kids up on stage from the crowd to help him and the band "write" and perform a song on the fly - probably the coolest thing those kids will remember from their childhood.

And Rick Neilson with the 5 neck guitar?  Looks like somebody's sarcasm meter is broken.  THAT'S THE JOKE!!!  Don't get me started on Satriani - another ultra cool and humble person.

As for douchey - EVH and Mayer maybe.  And Yngwie (although his skill still blows me away).

I submit that the article's author is the real douche here.

Why not Mustaine? Or Blackmore? Or Joe Perry?  Or Tom Scholtz?  Or Ace Frehley?  Vinnie Vincent?  All those guitarists who you want to punch in the neck no matter how talented they are?

Fail tag indeed.  For the article.
 
2013-02-08 11:09:33 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


I was at Winter NAMM many years back, and Yngwie was promoting some company, I forget. I was standing 10  feet from him watching him perform the most amazing and fascinating counterpoint orchestration on two guitars. Unique talent.
 
2013-02-08 11:11:18 PM  

MBP2112: No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL


Prince owns whatever genre he wants too, but you know, he aint white, so he aint got chops.  Prince is the only guitarist who could match eruption.

Hendrix was a great blues guitarist, but Eddie just is and was the man.  When did Jimi ever finger tap?

Watch mayer slash and zztop, mayer owns slash.
 
2013-02-08 11:14:01 PM  

Solid State Vittles: dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey

Dylan fired him for his "Look at me! " antics.


Even Tiny Toons made fun of the guy. Go to 2:10
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usMtLztGkYg
 
2013-02-08 11:17:02 PM  
What the hell is the point of all these comments that Yngwie has amazing technique or that Mayer is a bona fide master of blues guitar. The question is whether they're douches, not whether they can play.
 
2013-02-08 11:20:56 PM  

Mr. Chainsaw: cygnusx13: Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.

The name you seek is Janick Gers. Spends more time engaging in histrionics and delivering sloppy, tedious solos than performing the actual tune.

Adrian Smith all day, any day over that clown.

I think Janick gets a bad rep. He's far from the best soloist in the band, but his rhythm playing adds some needed punch, and his dueling with Eddie onstage is fun to watch (because let's face it, a big part of Maiden's appeal is the live spectacle). He's also a good songwriter.


He's *earned* a bad rap

Exhibit A: http://youtu.be/IxfLW9oN9-k
 
2013-02-08 11:21:55 PM  
But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?
 
2013-02-08 11:25:57 PM  
i877.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-08 11:26:33 PM  
List is missing Ted Nugent and Dave Mustaine who are both so douchy they should have Massengill branded on their foreheads. That being said Phill Anselmo is douchier than everyone on that list combined.
 
2013-02-08 11:28:32 PM  

Earguy: had98c: Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.

I won't argue with what Eddie became, but if you were there in 1978, Eruption was mind-blowing and ground-breaking.  People thought he was somehow using studio trickery to use it, to the point where on the next album he did it again on an acoustic.  He deserves the credit, you can't take it away from him.


Seriously, Eddie VH inspired millions of pale young schoolboys to plunk down their Mothers credit cards and buy their first electric guitar. Eddie is the real farking McCoy: he tried anything and everything using a few crude tools, his imagination and talent to come up with sounds and experiment with dynamics. In his own way Eddie was a lot like his hero Les Paul. If Eddie had been born in another time I have no doubt his name would be on a slew of patents for rock n roll gear. As it stands he is responsible for a few gadgets and a slew of manufacturers have sought out his input on their goods before going to market. Plus he did the matrimonial mambo with Valerie Bert&Ernie, which itself is worth a standing ovation.

/ don't monkey with the monkey

PS: speaking of Guitar Gods, how about the bass player from The Plasmatics? he used to smash himself on the head till he bled on stage. that's farking rock n roll.
 
2013-02-08 11:33:13 PM  
Writer is the douchiest douche that ever douched.

"Look at me!  I'm making fun of the best in the business!".  How about every 90s alternative guitarist who sucked, but were still smug nevertheless?
 
2013-02-08 11:34:51 PM  
Ugh.
img594.imageshack.us Tommy Emmanual. Full of himself.
 
2013-02-08 11:36:20 PM  
No Jack White on this list? I'm callin' BS. 

Actually it's Jack's fans who proclaim him as a musical genius despite the fact that every band he's involved with sounds like the White Stripes with a few more instruments.
 
2013-02-08 11:42:11 PM  

strangveyn: No Jack White on this list? I'm callin' BS. 

Actually it's Jack's fans who proclaim him as a musical genius despite the fact that every band he's involved with sounds like the White Stripes with a few more instruments.


I'll put it to you this way. I remember when the White Stripes were "new." I went to one of their shows and I could smell this strange odor just drenching every cubic inch of the club. I finally realized what it was: Vinegar and water.
 
2013-02-08 11:43:21 PM  

Devolving_Spud: I'll be the tenth or so person to defend Rick Nielson.   Dude has more fun onstage (and provides more fun) than anyone else on the list.   He's a regular guy and not a celebrity trainwreck.  What is there to hate about the guy?

No Ted Nugent?  Or was the author afraid of getting shot?


I am gonna jump on the Rick Neilson/Cheap Trick bandwagon. Nielson is awesome and quite funny. Saw them first time in about 1980. Probably have seen them 20 or so times throughout the 80's and early 90's. One of my favorites because they DIDN'T pose for the audience or for one minute make you feel that they were any better than anyone else in the crowd. Played loose. Just looked to be having a good time.
 
2013-02-08 11:46:49 PM  

dugitman: I was going to add "that dude from White Lion", but then I looked him up-- and feel like a farking asshole.


I have an un-csb about him, but now I'd feel kinda bad. Not like "Jason Becker bad", but bad enough.
 
2013-02-08 11:49:20 PM  
Malmsteen, Eric Johnson, Dave Mathews... List is pages long.

And Cobain used his guitar. Not so much played it.

'I'm an artist. Give me a tuba and I'll get you something out of it.'
-John Lennon
 
2013-02-08 11:52:24 PM  
That Steve Vai solo is farking awful...Sounds like me screwing around on the Fender, and I suck at playing guitar.
 
2013-02-08 11:54:13 PM  

dugitman: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x378]

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


THIS. The smug was off the charts with that douchenozzle.
 
2013-02-08 11:59:49 PM  

theflatline: MBP2112: No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL

Prince owns whatever genre he wants too, but you know, he aint white, so he aint got chops.  Prince is the only guitarist who could match eruption.

Hendrix was a great blues guitarist, but Eddie just is and was the man.  When did Jimi ever finger tap?

Watch mayer slash and zztop, mayer owns slash.


Hungh?  I never said Prince didn't have chops, he's wicked underrated as a matter of fact.  But he's also got a big reputation for being a douche.

Oops, almost forgot... add Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme.
 
2013-02-08 11:59:52 PM  

Tyrosine: List is missing Ted Nugent and Dave Mustaine who are both so douchy they should have Massengill branded on their foreheads. That being said Phill Anselmo is douchier than everyone on that list combined.


Yeah, but Nugent and Mustaine are douchebags for reasons separate from their music, which wasn't really the point of this particular list. They were going for the bombastic, self-indulgent wankery kinds of guitarists, and you can't really say that Mustaine's playing falls into that category (at least, no more than any other metal guitarist).
 
2013-02-09 12:00:35 AM  
FFS, Batio is an excellent example of talent producing shiat!  What farkin' wanker "metal" that is!  Fist-pumping elevator music.
 
2013-02-09 12:01:50 AM  
First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.

Second, half of the people on that list I've never heard of.

With regards to Rick Neilson, fark off writer

As for John Mayer, he is actually pretty good at the blues

1derful: The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.


First, they gave themselves those names before they even owned instruments. Secondly, he's pretty much said more than once that they performed their original songs because they weren't good enough to cover anyone else's. Don't blame him because people keep buying their records.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:35 AM  
Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:42 AM  

Crewmannumber6: First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.


Holy shiat. Isn't that from like an Extreme or a Winger song or some pretentious wussy early 90's butt-rock?
 
2013-02-09 12:14:37 AM  

JasonKY: Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.



i45.tinypic.com
 
ecl
2013-02-09 12:18:23 AM  

JasonKY: Came for Lindsey Buckingham, leaving disappointed.

i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-09 12:21:32 AM  
Am I the only person to notice the article lists C.C. Deville but has a video of Wes Borland?
 
2013-02-09 12:45:01 AM  
I'll just add to the Rick Nielsen is awesome, party. He. Is. Farking. Awesome. Saw them most recently on their Dream Police tour. Great. Their whole gig has always been a lark- a good reason to rock out and have a bit of fun. And their Sgt Pepper tribute shows were great too.
 
2013-02-09 12:50:52 AM  

nucular bum: Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.


This. He's the biggest douche of them all.

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Maybe he's trolling??

/it would have been very obvious if he put SRV on his list.
 
kab
2013-02-09 12:56:19 AM  
Take off the list:

EVH
Nielson

Add:

Mustaine
Nugent

And you're getting somewhere.   Satch really doesn't belong on the list either.
 
2013-02-09 01:07:19 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.


That is magical.
 
2013-02-09 01:12:39 AM  

Solid State Vittles: I don't think Rick Nielsen is being serious, fella.


Came here to say that.  It's a joke.  He's poking fun at the real douche guitarists.
 
2013-02-09 01:16:26 AM  

loki see loki do: /and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?


Agreed.  Page should be on the list for stealing all his good stuff from old black blues guys.
 
2013-02-09 01:19:51 AM  

MBP2112: No mention of Prince!?!
/List FAIL,
//Subby FAIL,
///Comments FAIL


Good call.  Prince has more talent than any one person deserves.  But he's one of the biggest assholes in the entertainment industry.
 
2013-02-09 01:25:55 AM  
RE: Comments so far
*************************************************************
What about GE Smith's stellar work with Hall and Oates?

Prince is a GOD.

Tommy Emmanuel is a very likeable guy I've had the pleasure of interviewing several times.

Rick Neilsen is a great showman whose onstage persona is not to be taken seriously.
 
2013-02-09 01:32:21 AM  

Virtual Pariah: vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.

I think in this article it means whomever the writer found while Googling. The article stinks of "I owe 2000 words in about an hour."


Bravo.
 
2013-02-09 02:10:55 AM  
I refuse to hate on Steve Vai after watching the ending to Crossroads. It was best guitar solos ever played.
 
2013-02-09 02:12:23 AM  

flamingboar: I refuse to hate on Steve Vai after watching the ending to Crossroads. It was best guitar solos ever played.


Everyone knows Ralph Macchio played all that stuff and just let Vai take credit for it. Jeez.
 
2013-02-09 02:22:56 AM  
Douchiest guitar players of all time article written by even bigger douche than all 10 combined
 
2013-02-09 02:27:00 AM  

Rent Party: Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.

Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.


I smell a hater.
 
2013-02-09 02:32:26 AM  

Dr.Zom: EVH is both awesome and douchey. Unfortunately, his doucheyness ultimately ruined his awesomeness.

List fails hard without Nugent. Douchey and not a great guitarist. He's not fit to clean Rick Nielsen's checkered shoes.


I'm seeing a lot of Nugent-hate in the comments and that's fine. But I think the list equates "douchey" with being arrogant and full of themselves onstage. I've seen Nugent in concert twice (Whiplash Bash in Detroit) and he doesn't come off as arrogant. Regardless of whether or not you like his politics, he seems to be pretty down to earth and self-depricating on stage. Not douchey at all.
 
2013-02-09 02:34:35 AM  
Remember the days when one neck on a guitar seemed sufficient?

Not as fondly as I remember the days when 10 items could fit on one page instead of four pages.
 
2013-02-09 02:34:56 AM  

StinkyFiddlewinks: Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.


Ya. That guy shiat himself after 911.

I don't consider concentrating and loving your instrument to be douchey, so the article fell pretty flat for me.
 
2013-02-09 02:48:04 AM  
 
2013-02-09 03:17:09 AM  
sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.
 
2013-02-09 03:22:39 AM  
If you think you're better than others, then you're a douche.


/but I'm one for telling you this...
 
2013-02-09 03:42:44 AM  
I know he's not a guitarist, but any douche ist is incomplete without Axl Rose, I don't care if it's 'Douchiest 1-Legged Blind Panamanian Pastry Chef Of All Time', Axl has to be on the list.
 
2013-02-09 03:49:51 AM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Yeah, I don't think he actually understands the term "douche". So far, I'm to CC DeVille, and he seems to be the only one with actual douchey behavior or a douchey attitude. The rest seem to make the list if they have big hair, play well or are showy in any way. Hell, it seems Nielsen makes the list solely because he has a 5 necked guitar.

Shiatty article. I expect F-A-R better from a Village Voice piece.
 
2013-02-09 04:00:21 AM  

WhippingBoy: Kids, this is what will happen if you grow up thinking you're going to be a rock god, but instead wind up writing crappy articles for some blog.


V V isn't "some blog". They are actually rather respected, and when they got purchased by Phoenix New Times, their respect grew. That said, this writer has no farking idea what he is talking about. I don't know how this piece of shiat made it past the editor.
 
2013-02-09 04:04:45 AM  

ScouserDuck: MFAWG: ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.

Morello can play.

Sure...but the list doesn't have anything to do with ability.


Actually it does. Almost everyone he called out as a "douche" seems to have "can play" as their Great Sin. The list shouldn't have anything to do with ability, but to this whiny, bitter motherfarker, apparently "skill" automatically equals "douche".
 
2013-02-09 04:35:37 AM  

kab: Take off the list:

EVH


Nope, EVH IS a douche. Not because of Eruption, or because of skill, but because he is a farking douche. It should set off some warning bells when your band has gone through 3 vocalists and two for sure mentioned that they can't get along with the guitarist(Not sure about Gary Cherone), as well as one of the founding members of the damned band. When the only person left that you haven't driven away screaming is your brother, there's a good chance that you're a douche.

Talented? Fark yes! Douche? FARK YES!!
 
2013-02-09 04:37:46 AM  

OgreMagi: loki see loki do: /and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?

Agreed.  Page should be on the list for stealing all his good stuff from old black blues guys.


Just like everyone else has done? Including the "old black blues guys"? Zeppelin did nothing that nobody had done before and everybody is still doing. It's been going on since Blues and Jazz existed.
 
2013-02-09 04:52:44 AM  

Ghastly: [sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net image 540x720]

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.


That is really not fair. Is there any way to pay a keytar, and not look like a douche?
 
2013-02-09 05:07:21 AM  
No hate for Danzig?
 
2013-02-09 05:18:38 AM  
List fails without Vivian Campbell.
 
2013-02-09 05:42:32 AM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


It sounded to me the writer of the article has a personal grudge against the majority of the guys on this list, for some unknown slight. His primary issue with Steve Vai seems to be the facial expressions he makes while playing. I always interpreted those as Vai getting lost in the song he was playing, he always seemed to thoroughly enjoy playing music to me. But the author of this piece takes those expressions as Vai somehow thinking he is better than his audience?

The author has serious issues with successful guitarists. That makes him a lot douchier than the guys on his list, except for Yngwie Malmsteen, who has a well-known God Complex.
 
2013-02-09 05:46:08 AM  
I will say this list is incomplete without Vinnie Vincent. Ask the guys from Slaughter (they used to be The Vinnie Vincent Invasion, before the record company fired Vincent) about VV's legendary douchiness.
 
2013-02-09 06:26:38 AM  

AxL sANe: Vai?  Really?  He has got to be one of the coolest musicians I have seen play live


Went to see one of the Hendrix tribute shows which Vai was a part of last year. At one point he started playing with his tongue. That is all.
 
2013-02-09 06:49:50 AM  
I think if the author actually spent real time researching the article instead of naming some guys off the top of his head, it might have been worth a read. First, what defines douche? His definition of O face and multiple neck playing is fail. That's theatrics. Your EXPECTED to move around, strut, emote, and you know, not just be a statue playing. It depends on the genre, but generally, guitarists are expected to put on a show. Some of you may hate G.E. Smith mugging (I know I wasn't particularly fond of it myself growing up), but mugging and showing off onstage just isn't douche material. If he mugged and played while continually walking in front of the lead singer, maybe. Smith's onstage and offstage are different.

Ego can make anyone douchey, but there's a difference between getting douchey and being a douche. There's also, for some guitarists that may make your list, the problem of WAS a douche and IS NO LONGER a douche. Blackmore is very happy with what he does now, and his control freakishness won't destroy his rock band any longer (since he's way out of rock). Mustaine lost his grudge. Hetfield finally got his fark it attitude back. Probably all that therapy finally paid off. As mentioned above, Vai may have had moments, but is generally a very cool guy. If you ever get a chance to see him talk about Zappa and the simple and loving look in his eyes for a lost friend and teacher, you will never make the claim ever again that Vai is a douche.

Mayer is an odd duck, he's a pretty down to earth guy... when he's not being a douche. I think he becomes a douche because he must be a sex addict, and that is his freaking mating call.

Malmsteen will always take my top spot.
 
2013-02-09 07:07:24 AM  

dugitman: But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?


I agree
 
2013-02-09 07:20:39 AM  
Both you and your editor thought it was "shoe-in," huh?
 
2013-02-09 07:48:10 AM  
This is the Village People Voice....to them, anyone is a douche that it isn't butthole surfing every dude within a 5 mile radius of their home.

Rick Nielsen....douche?  Right.....
 
2013-02-09 08:18:43 AM  
I guess according to subby if you can actually play your guitar well you are a douche.  I'll admit EVH is a douche as nobody can seem to work with him, but there's no doubting the guy's genius.  The list should have guitar players that think they're great and actually suck (ala Jack White).  My guess is that subby is a shiatty guitar player.   Nugent and Mustaine definitely top the list for me, although both of them can actually play
 
2013-02-09 08:26:08 AM  
dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey

Excellent, excellent call. The first few times I saw Smith doing his orgasm-face schtick on SNL I seriously thought he was doing some kind of Andy Kaufman-esque "this is how douchetacular guitar douches douche it up" performance piece. Then once I realized he wasn't kidding, I was amazed at how many times he got to stink up otherwise great performances by guest musicians with his cartoonish, unncecessary strutting and guitar-hero f#ck facing.
 
2013-02-09 08:32:35 AM  
Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.
 
2013-02-09 08:35:28 AM  
static.igossip.com

Behold, King of the Douches.
 
2013-02-09 08:46:13 AM  

qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.



That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....
 
2013-02-09 08:51:17 AM  
Nuno Bettencourt formerly of Extreme. That guy wasn't just a douche, he was an arrogant prick and an asshole.
 
2013-02-09 08:56:50 AM  

dugitman: But regardless of our particular pet peeves-- FTR: We all agree Nels Cline is frkkin cool, right?


Oh hell yea. The fans of his jazz stuff that hate the fact that he's wasting his time in Wilco are the real douches.

Love what he brought to dad-rock.
 
2013-02-09 08:59:08 AM  

vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.


Douchey or not, I like his music. Even the new project.

That list was awful, for reasons that have already been stated.
 
2013-02-09 09:01:52 AM  
Zappa. He raked in the big bucks while the rest of The Mothers got paid scale.
 
2013-02-09 09:18:46 AM  
Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.
 
2013-02-09 09:28:24 AM  

Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?


I'm sure there's plenty, man, but look carefully here:

The Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time...
 
2013-02-09 09:28:39 AM  
I will assume you are referencing a hipster band I have never heard of. If you are, in any way, disparaging Dave Murray, Adrian Smith or Janick Gers, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Up the Irons


THIS. Smith and Murray are farking  masters and whether you like Maiden or not you must give and show them respect. Now Gers? Well, lets put it this way- if he truly sucked, Arry would've sacked him long ago.
 
2013-02-09 09:31:15 AM  

AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....


Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.

Frank would stay in separate, suite level hotel rooms while the band stayed in fleabag motels, would fire band members for getting high (in the 60's & 70's ... REALLY?) file lawsuits against people he thought were trying to make more money than he was, berate band members on and off stage, regularly cheated on his wife, was an absentee father because touring was more important than raising his kids, even after he didn't need the money ... the list goes on and on.  Read "Zappa" by Barry Miles.  Much more informative and objective than "The Real Frank Zappa Book".  He really does tell the truth about what the man was really like.

Fantastic musician and composer, a true definition of the word, "genius", unparalleled in his art, one of the GOAT's.  But like Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Buddy Rich and Miles Davis, a colossal dickbag of a human being on just about every level.
 
2013-02-09 09:32:08 AM  
They forgot Steve Miller. He is a cock and balls in person. I had more enjoyment dealing with Stevie Nicks' tech and crew rider (which was pretty farked up given the average age of the band and techs).
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-09 09:41:15 AM  

Harry_Seldon: Ghastly: [sphotos-c.ak.fbcdn.net image 540x720]

Yeah but I'm still the douchiest KEYTAR player.

That is really not fair. Is there any way to pay a keytar, and not look like a douche?


Yes, but you have to be Herbie Hancock first.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-09 09:47:30 AM  

firesign: Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?

I'm sure there's plenty, man, but look carefully here:

The Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time...



Danzig has played guitar on all of the band Danzig albums since "Danzig 4p".

//Danzig
 
2013-02-09 09:54:18 AM  
Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.
 
2013-02-09 09:56:27 AM  

MmmmBacon: I will say this list is incomplete without Vinnie Vincent. Ask the guys from Slaughter (they used to be The Vinnie Vincent Invasion, before the record company fired Vincent) about VV's legendary douchiness.


Can you tell me how I can get in touch with Slaughter so I can ask them?
 
kab
2013-02-09 09:59:35 AM  

John Redcorn: Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.


And that doesn't sound like an off-base, sweeping generalization at all.
 
2013-02-09 10:09:24 AM  
Gonna through Dave Mustaine out there...saw him last year and I have never witnessed anyone so high on themselves.

After every song, the rest of the band must leave the stage so that Mustaine can absorb all of the applause for himself.  After the first song that he did this for, the crowd started to boo him off of stage.  It just made him more of a douche.  He easily could have been #1 on this list.
 
2013-02-09 10:13:40 AM  

strangveyn: No Jack White on this list? I'm callin' BS. 

Actually it's Jack's fans who proclaim him as a musical genius despite the fact that every band he's involved with sounds like the White Stripes with a few more instruments.


I was waiting for this.Jack White is THE douchiest of all time. ALL TIME.
 
2013-02-09 10:14:51 AM  

John Redcorn: Speaking as a professional guitar player I can say that ALL guitar players are douches.


    I hate to ask what you think about keyboard players that can play left hand keybass....or God forbid;kick pedals..
 
2013-02-09 10:30:25 AM  
A lot of people defending Vai here, which is weird.  He's one of the phoniest people on the planet.

And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.
 
2013-02-09 10:30:31 AM  
Where's The Edge?
 
2013-02-09 10:38:12 AM  
All the G.E. Smith hate in this thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But mostly I love the folks ardently defending Satriani, guitar's answer to Rush Limbaugh. A master of the craft of talking endlessly while saying absolutely nothing.
 
2013-02-09 10:49:59 AM  
That list is failtastic.
 
2013-02-09 10:50:16 AM  

StinkyFiddlewinks: Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.


Yeah but he gets a pass for life for writing Holy Wars. That song is awesome. Even better watching it live.
 
2013-02-09 11:00:15 AM  
Staffa Kar Therma:
Danzig has played guitar on all of the band Danzig albums since "Danzig 4p".

//Danzig


Fair I suppose, though he's certainly been hiring outside guys (most notably Tommy Victor) for any serious guitar leads.

But still, when they air the Family Feud episode with the question "Musically speaking, Glen Danzig is most well-known as a __________?", the answer board is going to look like:

Asshole    72
Singer      23
"Wasn't he in the Misfits?"   4
Guitarist    1

And that last one's only happening if they ask you.
 
2013-02-09 11:03:03 AM  

Thunderboy: And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.


SAY IT AIN'T SO!  His work is astounding!  He blew my mind when I saw him in NYC at the Masada Marathon ... probably the best concert I've ever seen in my life.
 
2013-02-09 11:06:55 AM  
Know who isn't a massive douchebag? Ler from Primus. One of the nicest dudes I've had the pleasure of meeting.
 
2013-02-09 11:07:27 AM  

mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.


Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.
 
2013-02-09 11:07:36 AM  

qsblues: AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....

Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.


I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?
 
2013-02-09 11:08:40 AM  

mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.


Dude, he was just happy that people still remembered him, and didn't make that irritating as hell talking guitar sound.  Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

If a musician gets parodied on, "The Simpsons", chances are they belong on this list anyway.
 
2013-02-09 11:16:14 AM  

GypsyJoker: I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?


No freaking idea, since Phish isn't around anymore, and since they probably had the money and a stable of lawyers to back them up.  Hell, they might've even asked her permission to play the songs anyway.  Gail was picking on local bar bands in LA, and wherever she happened to be at the time.  Not sure if she's still doing it, but it's well documented that she targeted bands who can't afford to pay up.  There are tons of bands that play his stuff, just like any other cover band, but if she happens to be nearby, legal shenanigans are sure to follow soon.

Granted, ths was going on shortly following Frank's death in 1994, so I'm not even sure that it's still going on.  But in the Zappaverse, it was a huge point of contention, and one of the main reasons why Dweezil formed ZPZ, so people could be exposed to his music again.
 
2013-02-09 11:21:47 AM  

qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.


So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.
 
2013-02-09 11:23:12 AM  

hamdinger: Crewmannumber6: First, I think the writer needs to learn the old adage about when you point a finger three are pointing back at you.

Holy shiat. Isn't that from like an Extreme or a Winger song or some pretentious wussy early 90's butt-rock?


Um........what?
 
2013-02-09 11:28:32 AM  

qsblues: GypsyJoker: I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?

No freaking idea, since Phish isn't around anymore, and since they probably had the money and a stable of lawyers to back them up.  Hell, they might've even asked her permission to play the songs anyway.  Gail was picking on local bar bands in LA, and wherever she happened to be at the time.  Not sure if she's still doing it, but it's well documented that she targeted bands who can't afford to pay up.  There are tons of bands that play his stuff, just like any other cover band, but if she happens to be nearby, legal shenanigans are sure to follow soon.

Granted, ths was going on shortly following Frank's death in 1994, so I'm not even sure that it's still going on.  But in the Zappaverse, it was a huge point of contention, and one of the main reasons why Dweezil formed ZPZ, so people could be exposed to his music again.


GZ does sound like a raging douche herself.

Actually, I caught Phish last May in St. Louis and they played "Peaches."  (That's why I was reminded of it.)  I think they're still touring.  Good point about the big-money band being able to afford lawyers, though.  Sucks to be the little guy in all this.

At least Robert Fripp only took on people bigger than him (Grooveshark, etc.) regarding use of King Crimson's music.  A shame, though, that he retired the band so he could concentrate on legal battles.  I would put him in the "douchey" category, but at least all of his behavior is both consistent and logical, and generally beneficial to his bandmates.  (He did, however, re-record some of their older work to avoid paying extra royalties to former Crim bassist/vocalist Gordon Haskell, by having Tony Levin and Adrian Belew provide new bass and vocals for Haskell's tracks on one of the Crimson compilations.)
 
2013-02-09 11:34:59 AM  

GypsyJoker: qsblues: AcesFull: That thing with Mrs Zappa..that sounds like ASCAP and BMI heavy hands....They could be relentless. And they were like tornadoes...They would zero in on some small bar owner like loan shark collectors and not even touch another bar a half block away....

Unfortunately, that's not the case.  Zappa's music never got any airplay, save for the occasional "Muffin Man", "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow" or on a good day, "Cosmik Debris".  ASCAP and BMI wouldn't touch his music with Tommy Lee's dick.  It was just way too controversial and they knew they wouldn't make a thin dime from distribution.  Gail targeted bar bands because especially after his death, people would be playing "tribute" to Frank.  There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.  Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, or any other former member of Zappa's bands CANNOT play his music live without facing a lawsuit.  Granted, this is dicketry on Gail Zappa's part, and not Frank's, but his douchebaggery was the inspiration for this bullshiat.

I have to ask--where does Phish fall into this?  They play "Peaches en Regalia" pretty regularly.  Are they on the "allowed-to" list?



   Thank you for that reply....On another off topic note...I did a show with John Kay and Steppenwolf maybe 25 years ago..Those were very smoky,hazy days..My only timeframe is Les Dudek was playing guitar for him....The guys told me John was absolutely rabid fanatical about tracking down anyone,and especially former original members,who used the word Steppenwolf with any promo about anything they might be doing...He put a cease and desist order on,I believe it was Goldie,the organ guy, who was playing a Friday night at a 100 seat bar for putting Goldie..Formerly Of Steppenwolf..on the marquee...I think John Fogarty went after his own brother for that CCR Revisited band....
 
2013-02-09 11:37:51 AM  
Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS
 
2013-02-09 11:45:54 AM  

vogonity: So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.


Actually, I did give examples.  They are listed in comments above.  Granted, the man did have the Midas Touch when it came to making musicians' careers; Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, George Duke, Aynsly Dunbar, Chad Wackerman, and countless others have lifelong careers because they were in Zappa's bands.  But anyone of them will tell you, when you were in his band, it was WORK, on top of how demanding and critical he was.  Besides not sharing any writing credits with anyone, even if they did compose on his works, he paid them flat scale, while he made the majority of the money.  The way he ridiculed the audience was legendary.  Hell, just pick up a book and read about the guy.
 
2013-02-09 11:46:40 AM  

vogonity: qsblues: Forgot one guy:

He is the greatest American composer since Duke Ellington, changed the entire pantheon of modern music as we know it, inspired at least 3 generations of guitarists with his style and phrasing ,(hell, Vai wouldn't even be on this list if it weren't for him), was the key aggressor against censorship in rock music, and people are still trying to figure out how he did what he did.  Onstage, he was a god.  Off stage, he makes these douches look like piss drops caught up in pubic hair.

Frank Zappa.

Probably my all time favorite musician next to Miles Davis and John Coltrane, my favorite composer next to Beethoven and Mozart, and a much more shrewd businessman than Donald Trump, but he was a douche of intergalactic proportions, and his douchebaggery continues to this day courtesy of Mrs. Gail Zappa, who sues bar bands for playing his music without permission from her.

As with everything else related to music and guitar, all of these punks are amateurs.  Zappa IS the master.

So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.


He fired Lowell George for writing Willin'.
 
2013-02-09 11:58:46 AM  

qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.


What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".
 
2013-02-09 12:02:17 PM  

tobcc: I think Neal Schon should be on the list. He Fired Steve Perry from Journey, Ego killed the band and untold millions of dollars to himself.


And his solo ventures are akin to watching a man in his late 50s masturbate on stage with a guitar.  Pure self-indulgence.

/you can hear the fapping
 
2013-02-09 12:07:48 PM  

qsblues: vogonity: So the one example you give of actual Zappa douchebaggery is by Gail.  Can you give an example of Frank's douchebaggery?  And for the record I probably wouldn't disagree with you, cancelling the 1988 tour wasn't too cool, and I know he pissed off the Saturday Night Live cast back in the 70s, but when you declare someone the master you should probably give an example or two.

Actually, I did give examples.  They are listed in comments above.  Granted, the man did have the Midas Touch when it came to making musicians' careers; Steve Vai, Adrian Belew, Terry Bozzio, George Duke, Aynsly Dunbar, Chad Wackerman, and countless others have lifelong careers because they were in Zappa's bands.  But anyone of them will tell you, when you were in his band, it was WORK, on top of how demanding and critical he was.  Besides not sharing any writing credits with anyone, even if they did compose on his works, he paid them flat scale, while he made the majority of the money.  The way he ridiculed the audience was legendary.  Hell, just pick up a book and read about the guy.


Sure 'nuff you did give examples (good ones too) and I didn't see them. Sorry.  I was never really under any impression that he wasn't a douche, but bad on me for missing the obvious earlier posts.
 
2013-02-09 12:09:31 PM  

JohnnyApocalypse: Some of you may hate G.E. Smith mugging


It's not just that he's mugging, it's that he's wearing his "I'm such a badass totally tearing it up" face when he's really playing two things: jack and shiat.

drewogatory: All the G.E. Smith hate in this thread makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But mostly I love the folks ardently defending Satriani, guitar's answer to Rush Limbaugh. A master of the craft of talking endlessly while saying absolutely nothing.


Well said!

Interesting points made by several along the thread:
- stage persona, which is part of what audiences are paying to see, doesn't necessarily equate to actual personality
- Unaccomplished, uncelebrated musicians, some of whom are surely bigger egomaniacs than those listed, don't get noticed
 
2013-02-09 12:14:19 PM  

dugitman: [a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x378]

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


GE did have one of the worst cases of guitar face that I've ever seen.
 
2013-02-09 12:20:24 PM  
Weren't all "lead" guitarists from the "Shred" era douches?
But, Jonny Greenwood gets my vote for most pretentious douch.
 
2013-02-09 12:38:46 PM  

Uncle Pooky: Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.


Hahaha! Duly noted, sir.

qsblues: Dude, he was just happy that people still remembered him, and didn't make that irritating as hell talking guitar sound.


Yeah, fair enough, but why did he have to piss all over what would have been a great show?

Maybe I should just let it go. After all, it's been... holy shiat, 24 years? Wow, I'm old. I has a sad.
 
2013-02-09 12:46:01 PM  
Yngwie should be number one, he didnt want to take a doghnut that Dimebag offered him.


/ Surprsied they didnt mention Vinnie Moore, Vinnie Vincent, Dave Mustaine, or Buckethead
//And of course the list totally fails without
i26.photobucket.com
Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that, except for Dave Grohl, he gets a pass forever
 
2013-02-09 12:50:30 PM  

qsblues: Thunderboy: And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.

SAY IT AIN'T SO!  His work is astounding!  He blew my mind when I saw him in NYC at the Masada Marathon ... probably the best concert I've ever seen in my life.


Classic case of incredible talent/terrible personality.  Working in that scene for the last 15 years killed most of my heroes, which made me appreciate the survivors even more.
 
2013-02-09 12:52:44 PM  
I forgot to mention Gary Hoey. His re-hashed christmas albums are wank fests!
 
2013-02-09 12:53:21 PM  

Onkel Buck: Drummer turned guitarist. Its doesnt get douchier than that


Unless your name is Edward Van Halen.
 
2013-02-09 12:55:37 PM  
This thread reminds me of a joke.

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

10. One to do it and 9 to stand around saying they could have done it better
 
2013-02-09 01:03:50 PM  

Staffa Kar Therma: No hate for Danzig?


John Christ looks more scray than douchey and he isnt all that technical. Not like the other players on the list
 
2013-02-09 01:04:50 PM  
Vai can come across as pretty pretentious, but he's a cool guy. Same with Satch, and in both cases their reputations are more due to their fans' reverence for them than their own behavior.
 
2013-02-09 01:07:19 PM  

awfulperson: Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS


I think this one defines Malmsteen a little better:
Guitar Lesson
 
2013-02-09 01:07:35 PM  

Midnight Rambler: qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".


Thanks! I liked that. Darryl got a lot of soul for a white boy
 
2013-02-09 01:12:28 PM  
 
2013-02-09 01:29:25 PM  

Onkel Buck: Midnight Rambler: qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".

Thanks! I liked that. Darryl got a lot of soul for a white boy


Live from Darryl's House is one of the best things on the EweTubercles. Hall comes across as pretty douchey sometimes, like the time he called someone out for stealing from him during the show:

'If we do it this way, people will realize it sounds just like a song I wrote 25 years ago'.
 
2013-02-09 01:37:11 PM  
Y'know, bassists are always complaining that guitarists get all the attention and are out front with their cawks hanging out doing the whole widdlie widdlie woo thing.  Well, now's your chance to shine.  How about a list of Douchy Bass Players?  Let's get started:

Billy Sheehan
Jeff Berlin
Sid Vicious
Sting
Paul McCartney
Jaco Pastorious

discuss ...
 
2013-02-09 01:38:27 PM  

MFAWG: Onkel Buck: Midnight Rambler: qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".

Thanks! I liked that. Darryl got a lot of soul for a white boy

Live from Darryl's House is one of the best things on the EweTubercles. Hall comes across as pretty douchey sometimes, like the time he called someone out for stealing from him during the show:

'If we do it this way, people will realize it sounds just like a song I wrote 25 years ago'.


Ha! I hadn't heard that zinger. I agree Daryl can come across as kind of elitist at times, and I also agree that Live From Daryl's House is awesome. Some amazing performances there. Another favorite is Grace Potter doing "Paris (Ooh La La)".
 
2013-02-09 01:39:10 PM  
congratulations nate jackson, you are an abject failure by the first 2 entries! i nearly stopped reading when i saw this in the very first one regarding john mayer,'...dude is an undeniably accomplished jazz shredder. '  say what? most people that write about music know nothing about music, so i gave him the benefit of the doubt. then in the next one we get, regarding yngwie malmsteen,'This guy was the most technically accomplished guitarist to come out of the 80s. Period. '  can failure like this even be measured conventionally?
 
2013-02-09 01:41:28 PM  
That word... I do not think it means what you think it means...
 
2013-02-09 01:47:01 PM  
I would start a list of the douchiest vocalists of all time, but there just ain't enough internet to do that.
 
2013-02-09 01:51:35 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: Although he's one of my all time faves, I think Ritchie Blackmore pretty much invented the concept of Guitar Douche.


I think everyone that ever worked with him would agree with you. Even the nicest guy in metal, Ronnie James Dio, who liked everybody(except for maybe Vivian Campbell; speaking of douchey) said that Blackmore "had issues."
 
2013-02-09 01:52:04 PM  
also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.
 
2013-02-09 01:52:31 PM  

Midnight Rambler: MFAWG: Onkel Buck: Midnight Rambler: qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".

Thanks! I liked that. Darryl got a lot of soul for a white boy

Live from Darryl's House is one of the best things on the EweTubercles. Hall comes across as pretty douchey sometimes, like the time he called someone out for stealing from him during the show:

'If we do it this way, people will realize it sounds just like a song I wrote 25 years ago'.

Ha! I hadn't heard that zinger. I agree Daryl can come across as kind of elitist at times, and I also agree that Live From Daryl's House is awesome. Some amazing performances there. Another favorite is Grace Potter doing "Paris (Ooh La La)".


Yah, that was a good one. Pat Monahan of  Train was pretty good. They decide Monahan is going to sing the first verse, the band kicks off and Darryl takes off while  Monahan sits there  with a 'WTF?' expression on his face.

'That's right, I'm Darryl beeping Hall'.

Another one was TBone Wolk talking to one of the guests about how they're going to do the guitar parts, and slowly realizing the guy has NO idea what he's talking about.
 
2013-02-09 02:06:23 PM  

MFAWG: TBone Wolk talking to one of the guests about how they're going to do the guitar parts, and slowly realizing the guy has NO idea what he's talking about.


Oh, now that I gotta check out. TBone was a great one.
 
2013-02-09 02:07:01 PM  

mahavishnunj: also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.


does failure to read posts before you start typing count?  Well then ... carry on ... business as usual. :P
 
2013-02-09 02:15:09 PM  
media.irishcentral.com
You people forgot this asshole...
 
2013-02-09 02:15:19 PM  

qsblues: mahavishnunj: also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.

does failure to read posts before you start typing count?  Well then ... carry on ... business as usual. :P


i read them all. didnt see a single one.
 
2013-02-09 02:17:04 PM  

Midnight Rambler: MFAWG: TBone Wolk talking to one of the guests about how they're going to do the guitar parts, and slowly realizing the guy has NO idea what he's talking about.

Oh, now that I gotta check out. TBone was a great one.


He replaced GE Smith in Hall and Oates, IIRC?
 
2013-02-09 02:20:10 PM  
List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.
 
2013-02-09 02:25:11 PM  

MFAWG: Midnight Rambler: MFAWG: TBone Wolk talking to one of the guests about how they're going to do the guitar parts, and slowly realizing the guy has NO idea what he's talking about.

Oh, now that I gotta check out. TBone was a great one.

He replaced GE Smith in Hall and Oates, IIRC?


Had to check Wiki... they played together in Hall & Oates. Smith on lead and T-Bone on bass.
 
2013-02-09 02:36:51 PM  

qsblues: Y'know, bassists are always complaining that guitarists get all the attention and are out front with their cawks hanging out doing the whole widdlie widdlie woo thing.  Well, now's your chance to shine.  How about a list of Douchy Bass Players?  Let's get started:

Billy Sheehan
Jeff Berlin
Sid Vicious
Sting
Paul McCartney
Jaco Pastorious

discuss ...



Pete Wentz
 
2013-02-09 02:46:59 PM  

Close2TheEdge: List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.


"Our sincerist apologies to those whose conversations we're interrupting."  Love it.

On the Thrak tour, Fripp used to sit among the effects racks under minimal stage lighting, believing that he was better heard than seen.  He got a fan letter complaining that he wasn't visible to the audience, so he sent the writer a check for one-sixth of the ticket price (as Fripp was one-sixth of the band).

A purist, a master troll, and, in many ways, an anachronism.
 
2013-02-09 02:48:50 PM  

mahavishnunj: qsblues: mahavishnunj: also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.

does failure to read posts before you start typing count?  Well then ... carry on ... business as usual. :P

i read them all. didnt see a single one.


you've obviously missed this part, which is from this very thread:


 Frank would stay in separate, suite level hotel rooms while the band stayed in fleabag motels, would fire band members for getting high (in the 60's & 70's ... REALLY?) file lawsuits against people he thought were trying to make more money than he was, berate band members on and off stage, regularly cheated on his wife, was an absentee father because touring was more important than raising his kids, even after he didn't need the money ... the list goes on and on.  Read "Zappa" by Barry Miles.  Much more informative and objective than "The Real Frank Zappa Book".  He really does tell the truth about what the man was really like.

Fantastic musician and composer, a true definition of the word, "genius", unparalleled in his art, one of the GOAT's.  But like Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Buddy Rich and Miles Davis, a colossal dickbag of a human being on just about every level.
 
2013-02-09 02:55:31 PM  
I'm sorry but Billy Squier takes positions 1-9 and ties for 10th.

csb time

Concert in the 80s.  Saga opens for Billy.  Saga played a decent show and did some covers that weren't on their album and sounded much better than anything on their album.  Even back then over production and a need to sound like everybody else was ruining good bands.

Then it was Billy's turn.  The band played the first song then went through the whole "Great to see you Jacksonville" etc routine.  Midway through the second song Billy waved the band to stop playing and broke out into a solo.  It was ok but it's not like he's a great guitar player.  Then they played their third song and midway through Billy again waved the band silent, introduced each of the members giving them a few seconds of solo play, and then broke into another guitar solo himself.  A lot of the stuff from the first solo was repeated and nothing good was added.  Then came the fourth song and they played all the way through.  Whew, he's done with solos.

Not    So   Fast.

Fifth song Billy again waves the band silent (I'm surprised anybody stayed in this band.  I guess money and drugs can make you do strange things) and he broke into another solo.   At this point the crowd started chanting "Saga   Saga   Saga"  It got louder and louder as it spread and finally Billy boy realized what was going on.  He stopped playing and stomped (all 5'6" of intimidating girly man ) up to the microphone .  He shouted into the mike "Stop that shiat right now or this concert is over!!"  And unfortunately the crowd quieted down.   The band went back to playing but Billy didn't try any more solos.
 
2013-02-09 03:01:04 PM  

Death Whisper: You people forgot this asshole...


Mr. Bean in a Beatle wig...?
 
2013-02-09 03:02:08 PM  

qsblues: mahavishnunj: qsblues: mahavishnunj: also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.

does failure to read posts before you start typing count?  Well then ... carry on ... business as usual. :P

i read them all. didnt see a single one.

you've obviously missed this part, which is from this very thread:


 Frank would stay in separate, suite level hotel rooms while the band stayed in fleabag motels, would fire band members for getting high (in the 60's & 70's ... REALLY?) file lawsuits against people he thought were trying to make more money than he was, berate band members on and off stage, regularly cheated on his wife, was an absentee father because touring was more important than raising his kids, even after he didn't need the money ... the list goes on and on.  Read "Zappa" by Barry Miles.  Much more informative and objective than "The Real Frank Zappa Book".  He really does tell the truth about what the man was really like.

Fantastic musician and composer, a true definition of the word, "genius", unparalleled in his art, one of the GOAT's.  But like Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Buddy Rich and Miles Davis, a colossal dickbag of a human being on just about every level.


no, i saw it. i just didnt think you would be retarded enough to lap up hearsay and anecdotal evidence like that as gospel. he stayed in nicer rooms than his band. wow, what a "colossal dickbag"! he only wrote 100% of the music and handled all the business shiat. which of these band members were fired for getting high? you think maybe it interfered with their performance and THATS why they got fired? i feel like im getting trolled at this point. regularly cheated on his wife, im all for that.  he was a rock star and she is a terrible coont. everything else you listed is just as dumb if not more.
 
2013-02-09 03:02:53 PM  
No Carlos Santana??????
 
2013-02-09 03:08:32 PM  

1derful: The Edge tops every douche on this list, except maybe John Mayer.


While everybody on that list is an amazing douche nozzle, at least they're pretty good at their instrument.


The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.


I'm a not particularly gifted bass player and given enough delay and echo pedals, and my trusty E-Bow, even I can impersonate The Edge on guitar. Hell, most of U2's songs seem the same to me.
 
2013-02-09 03:13:16 PM  

qsblues: There are only two bands who are officially "licensed" to play his music live: Zappa Plays Zappa (Dweezil's band, so of course he would get the nod) and Project Object, which is lead by Ray White and Ike Willis.


This is incorrect.  Project/Object is Andre Cholmondeley's band; Ray and Ike are just two of the most prominent among many Zappa band alumni to have toured with and tutored the group.

And they've never had permission from the Zappa Family Trust to do what they do -- not that they need to, since as most of Frank's music was licensed through ASCAP and BMI, it's covered by rock venues' blanket performance agreements and no special permission is needed for a Zappa tribute band to perform live -- and never will, because their continued ability to draw 30 people to a cramped sports bar in Long Branch, NJ seems to be seen as a threat to Dweezil's monopoly on his father's music.
 
2013-02-09 03:15:52 PM  
True story about country singer douchery.....Late 70's at the Golden Nugget in Vegas.. Larry Gatlin and The Gatlin Brothers are at the top of the c/w charts...They are playing the showroom to a SRO crowd and are about to open the show..(Larry,of course,has just snorted up Peru)...As the house lights go down,the crowd can barely contain themselves...The curtains go up and the lights blaze as the Gatlins start singing..."All the gold..in California"...The crowd goes batshiat..People jump to their feet as the applause and cheering greets them......Larry immediately stops singing and starts waving his arms like a madman to stop the band...and its a trainwreck stop.  He just stands there,arms folded, as the ovation starts to die down..It musta took 3 minutes before the last person stopped clapping....It is now dead silent...Larry now comes back to his mike and says...."People..what's wrong with y'all???"  "The Gatlins are number one because of our singing...Y'all are in here tonight to hear us sing"...."Now how the hell can anybody hear a damn thing with y'all yelling like that??" " now do you wanna scream or do you wanna hear us sing??"  DEAD SILENCE.....and with he restarts the song and show to a stunned and subdued crowd that never recovered a fraction of their energy...
 
2013-02-09 03:20:36 PM  

Uncle Pooky: mercator_psi: Okay, since no one has mentioned him in this thread:

Peter farking Frampton.

I went to see Bowie's "Glass Spider" tour at Anaheim Stadium back in 1988 or '89 (I think), and for some reason Dave thought it was a great idea to let the Frampster have a 2-minute guitar solo in every farking song they played.

Framp completely ruined that performance. Total farking wanker.

Careful, bro. Using nicknames like "the Frampster" kinda swings you towards the douche side yourself.


How about "Menstrual Framps"? "Framppa" or "Frampon"?
 
2013-02-09 03:29:48 PM  

AcesFull: True story about country singer douchery.....Late 70's at the Golden Nugget in Vegas.. Larry Gatlin and The Gatlin Brothers are at the top of the c/w charts...They are playing the showroom to a SRO crowd and are about to open the show..(Larry,of course,has just snorted up Peru)...As the house lights go down,the crowd can barely contain themselves...The curtains go up and the lights blaze as the Gatlins start singing..."All the gold..in California"...The crowd goes batshiat..People jump to their feet as the applause and cheering greets them......Larry immediately stops singing and starts waving his arms like a madman to stop the band...and its a trainwreck stop.  He just stands there,arms folded, as the ovation starts to die down..It musta took 3 minutes before the last person stopped clapping....It is now dead silent...Larry now comes back to his mike and says...."People..what's wrong with y'all???"  "The Gatlins are number one because of our singing...Y'all are in here tonight to hear us sing"...."Now how the hell can anybody hear a damn thing with y'all yelling like that??" " now do you wanna scream or do you wanna hear us sing??"  DEAD SILENCE.....and with he restarts the song and show to a stunned and subdued crowd that never recovered a fraction of their energy...


This! I saw exactly this myself. I was really young (in high school at most) and hadn't been to too many concerts but I was dumbfounded nonetheless.

I had completely forgotten about it - good call.
 
2013-02-09 03:35:02 PM  

mahavishnunj: qsblues: mahavishnunj: qsblues: mahavishnunj: also, none of you retards(or is it just one of you? im not scrolling back up) have listed a single example of frank being douchey. failure always runs high in guitar threads, so i guess business as usual here.

does failure to read posts before you start typing count?  Well then ... carry on ... business as usual. :P

i read them all. didnt see a single one.

you've obviously missed this part, which is from this very thread:


 Frank would stay in separate, suite level hotel rooms while the band stayed in fleabag motels, would fire band members for getting high (in the 60's & 70's ... REALLY?) file lawsuits against people he thought were trying to make more money than he was, berate band members on and off stage, regularly cheated on his wife, was an absentee father because touring was more important than raising his kids, even after he didn't need the money ... the list goes on and on.  Read "Zappa" by Barry Miles.  Much more informative and objective than "The Real Frank Zappa Book".  He really does tell the truth about what the man was really like.

Fantastic musician and composer, a true definition of the word, "genius", unparalleled in his art, one of the GOAT's.  But like Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, Buddy Rich and Miles Davis, a colossal dickbag of a human being on just about every level.

no, i saw it. i just didnt think you would be retarded enough to lap up hearsay and anecdotal evidence like that as gospel. he stayed in nicer rooms than his band. wow, what a "colossal dickbag"! he only wrote 100% of the music and handled all the business shiat. which of these band members were fired for getting high? you think maybe it interfered with their performance and THATS why they got fired? i feel like im getting trolled at this point. regularly cheated on his wife, im all for that.  he was a rock star and she is a terrible coont. everything else you listed is just as dumb if not more.


what, are you pissed that you didn't get included on the list as well?  Lighten up.  Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship.  I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag).  Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.  Gospel?  Not hardly.  Better source than internet tough guy babble?  Probably.  Just going by authorized biographies released by a respected journalist.  Check out some of Barry Miles' work; he's no slouch in his profession.
 
2013-02-09 03:43:51 PM  
Just once, I wanted to see someone punch G.E. Smith in the mouth. His smirking made me want to beat the family dog.
 
2013-02-09 03:50:28 PM  

awfulperson: Malmsteen is horrible. So what that he locked himself in his bedroom for four hours a day and did speed drills--I am sure we could eventually train a monkey to do that.

Meandering arpeggios with a WAH-WAH-WAHHHHH at the end peppered by the clickety-clack of his jewel-encrusted hooker bracelets ≠ music.

P.S. I'll just leave this as I go... MALMSTEEN SHREDS


Oh, jesus on a stick, I had to stop watching that...I thought I was going to stroke out from laughter....the whole site is epic.
 
2013-02-09 03:50:28 PM  

qsblues: (a)Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship. I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag). Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, (b)we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.


(a)is it? i still havent seen one real example in here of him being a dick or a douche.

(b)actually im not going by that at all.  im going by the words of every single great musician who has ever been in his band. id be interested to see someone that actually played with him trash him, who ISNT a member of the grandmothers.
 
2013-02-09 03:57:41 PM  

mahavishnunj: qsblues: (a)Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship. I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag). Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, (b)we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.

(a)is it? i still havent seen one real example in here of him being a dick or a douche.

(b)actually im not going by that at all.  im going by the words of every single great musician who has ever been in his band. id be interested to see someone that actually played with him trash him, who ISNT a member of the grandmothers.

oppo


  The last nurse to see Buddy Rich alive..supposedly...was on her rounds at the hospital and stopped by Buddy's room....Nurse: Mr.Rich,are you alright?  Is anything bothering you?       Buddy: Yes. Country music.
 
2013-02-09 04:32:49 PM  

nucular bum: Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.


I'd personally put him at #1, bump #1 down to #2, and kick Eddie Van Halen off the list completely. He's only on there because he's good and people are jealous.
 
2013-02-09 06:05:11 PM  
The Village Voice calling anyone douchey is a bit like Kanye West teaching a class on how to blend in.
 
2013-02-09 06:23:49 PM  

mahavishnunj: qsblues: (a)Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship. I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag). Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, (b)we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.

(a)is it? i still havent seen one real example in here of him being a dick or a douche.

(b)actually im not going by that at all.  im going by the words of every single great musician who has ever been in his band. id be interested to see someone that actually played with him trash him, who ISNT a member of the grandmothers.


*blinks*

Ok sport.  You got me.  Apparently my standard for being a douche is too high, or low as the case may be.  Cheating on your wife, the mother of your children is ok because "he's a rock star".  Paying band members shiat wages when you can afford to pay them what they're worth passes muster.  Being supported by and making fun of the audience who pays to see your concerts is just peachy.  I'll let all that go.

Tina Turner showed up during the "Apostrophy/Overnight Sensation" recordings, and since nobody else could do it, sang the infamous break in "Montana".  Did it in one take.  Frank was prepared to pay her a handsome amount for nailing such a tough track.  Ike Turner takes him aside, and sez, "You pay her straight scale.  She just did her job, that's all she deserves."  Frank paid her 20 bucks and called it a day.

Now, I'm sure it's quite well known by now how much of a dickbag Ike Turner was, and how he not only exploited, but beat the ever loving snot out of Tina like it was his full time job.  She still showed up to the session with bruises that were still healing.  You'd think that anyone with half of a conscience would slip her a couple Benjamins and tell her to get the hell away from this asshole while she still could walk.  But not Frank.

So yeah, my "douchebag" meter might be a bit sensitive for manly men such as yourself who think that all these antics are okay.  Just because I read material from award winning authors doesn't mean jack shiat, either.  In MY book, Frank Zappa is a douche.  Nobody has to agree, just my opinion, but I've talked to Ike Willis and Ray White personally, and they both said, "Yeah, he was tough to work for, and was an asshole at times, but putting up with him was worth it."

Heresay and conjecture?  Take it as you want, but most geniuses ARE douchebags.
 
2013-02-09 06:43:02 PM  
   scripted douchery but it always makes me laugh......"You traded the bluesmobile for a microphone!!??!!"
 
2013-02-09 06:45:03 PM  
If excessive drug use can = douchiness, then Jerry Garcia tops them all.
 
2013-02-09 08:22:26 PM  
List fails without Ted Nugent and Billy Corgan.
 
2013-02-09 08:53:04 PM  
Take out Rick, add ted nuggent and the list is complete. I could add some honorable mentions, but I am not gonna hate on it for that.
 
2013-02-10 12:56:42 AM  

dugitman: G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey


This.
I started having to look away when they flashed his incredibly lucky and incredibly un-talented self-satisfied idiot grinned-person on the tv.

/ugh
 
2013-02-10 02:19:43 AM  

Onkel Buck: Midnight Rambler: qsblues: Although he is most famous for making the talk box popular, Joe Walsh taught him how to use it, gave him his 1st talk box and a '59 Les Paul Standard to boot, and Frampton never gave Walsh any kind of props for it whatsoever.

What a crappy thing to do. Joe Walsh rocks at life. And if the author here thinks that "guitar face" contributes to douchery, I could watch Joe's guitar face all day.

Here's Joe playing a great, laid-back solo with Daryl Hall on "Live From Daryl's House".

Thanks! I liked that. Darryl got a lot of soul for a white boy


Darryl has an amazing voice. Do a search for North Star (from Robert Fripp's album Exposure). His vocals are incredible.
 
2013-02-10 02:53:25 AM  

Close2TheEdge: List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.


Fripp doesn't like to sign autographs or shake hands with strangers or have people taking pictures during performances. So what?

Do a search on Robert Fripp's Diary and you will see that Fripp shares more intimate details of his life than any other musician I can think of. He has kept this online diary for years. He talks about when he got up in the morning, what he had for breakfast, what book he is reading, how the Mynx is feeling, what's blooming in his garden, repairs that he needs to have done in his house, the weather, what friends have called, what music he is listening to, how his pet bunny is doing (seriously).

He lives on another plane of existence, we are lucky to have partial access to him anyway.

/Most Farkers don't even know who he is, so who cares?
 
2013-02-10 03:07:36 AM  

AcesFull: mahavishnunj: qsblues: (a)Frank's dicketry is almost as well known as his musicianship. I gave the man props for his unmistakeable talent, and cited him as one of my musical heroes, along with Miles Davis (douchebag) and Buddy Rich (douchebag). Since he's dead and can't defend or refute anything, (b)we rely upon journalists who have sat down and interviewed the guy.

(a)is it? i still havent seen one real example in here of him being a dick or a douche.

(b)actually im not going by that at all.  im going by the words of every single great musician who has ever been in his band. id be interested to see someone that actually played with him trash him, who ISNT a member of the grandmothers.
oppo


  The last nurse to see Buddy Rich alive..supposedly...was on her rounds at the hospital and stopped by Buddy's room....Nurse: Mr.Rich,are you alright?  Is anything bothering you?       Buddy: Yes. Country music.


That's awesome. It reminds me of Oscar Wilde's alleged last words- either these curtains go or I do.

Funny SOB
 
2013-02-10 07:37:48 AM  

Death Whisper: [media.irishcentral.com image 300x444]
You people forgot this asshole...


Does he technically count as a guitarist? He's primarily just an asshole.
 
2013-02-10 08:17:56 AM  

Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!


Good point. There are so many. Nugent is another example. Anyone who wears greasepaint is another.

I'll be seeing Wishbone Ash in March. Some of the best rock guitar ever. Douche factor: zero.

Rock since 1980 has been 95% circus act 5% music. And it's not Barnum and Bailey either. More of a third-rate fleabag show run by alcoholic junkies who think that being "extreme" is entertaining.
 
2013-02-10 08:30:56 AM  

Thunderboy: A lot of people defending Vai here, which is weird.  He's one of the phoniest people on the planet.

And bonus surprise guitar douche:  Marc Ribot.  That one broke my little musician heart.


Really, Ribot? Pray tell.

/Say it ain't so
//Love his work with Tom Waits
 
2013-02-10 08:38:53 AM  
From Ribot's Wikipedia page:
Ribot admitted to Guitar Player a relatively limited technical facility due to learning to play right-handed despite being left-handed: "That's a real limit..."

I find that weird. I'm a lefty and playing guitar is the only thing I do right-handed, but I've never felt limited due to it. Though maybe that's why I can't play as fast as Vai and company...
 
2013-02-10 08:59:20 AM  

IwasKloot: From Ribot's Wikipedia page:
Ribot admitted to Guitar Player a relatively limited technical facility due to learning to play right-handed despite being left-handed: "That's a real limit..."

I find that weird. I'm a lefty and playing guitar is the only thing I do right-handed, but I've never felt limited due to it. Though maybe that's why I can't play as fast as Vai and company...


I have a friend who writes left-handed and does everything else right-handed.

And yes he's heard the joke you just thought of.
 
2013-02-10 09:30:52 AM  

Soulcatcher: Darryl has an amazing voice. Do a search for North Star (from Robert Fripp's album Exposure). His vocals are incredible.


That was awesome, thanks. Daryl has always had spot-on vocals. Even these days at the age of 66 he can still bring it.
 
2013-02-10 10:09:50 AM  

Soulcatcher: Close2TheEdge: List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.

Fripp doesn't like to sign autographs or shake hands with strangers or have people taking pictures during performances. So what?

Do a search on Robert Fripp's Diary and you will see that Fripp shares more intimate details of his life than any other musician I can think of. He has kept this online diary for years. He talks about when he got up in the morning, what he had for breakfast, what book he is reading, how the Mynx is feeling, what's blooming in his garden, repairs that he needs to have done in his house, the weather, what friends have called, what music he is listening to, how his pet bunny is doing (seriously).

He lives on another plane of existence, we are lucky to have partial access to him anyway.

/Most Farkers don't even know who he is, so who cares?


Fripp is Adrian Monk as a guitarist: an odd, super-intelligent guy with a lot of quirks and a penchant for pissing off his friends and co-workers because the subtleties and nuances of human interaction frequently escape him.

Yes, he's often off-putting to Crimson audiences (at least those not used to his manner of interacting with them).  His rationale, however, at least makes logical sense, even if you don't buy into it: excessive crowd noise disturbs the "zone" that the band members try to get into when they're doing their improvisational work (which is much of the show). Music is a fragile thing, and being broken from that creative zone causes poorer performances by the musicians, which in turn means that the audience isn't getting what they pay for--even if they may have contributed to the problem.

Fripp considers himself "unmusical" and considers that every note he's ever played to be the product of years of practice; he's mentioned Giles, McDonald, Collins, Wetton, and Levin all to be far more naturally-talented than him.  He believes the music business to be a necessary evil (although he hates the way it's run) because it's the only way for the musicians to be adequately compensated for the work they put in.  That's why he hates file-sharing, concert taping, bootleg recordings, sampling, and unauthorized photography--because he also hates the non-musical merchandising apparatus, and he considers the musical output to be the only legit way for a musician to earn money; file-sharing, etc. infringe upon that right.  That's also why he keeps remastering old releases and digging up new concert tapes to sell--if the audience is going to get recordings of the band, they should get the best-quality recordings possible.  Those recordings--and the concerts thereof--are how the musician earns compensation for the hard work he puts into mastering his craft.

Some would say that Fripp's treatment of his bandmates qualifies him for this list, and some of the bandmates might have said the same thing.  But he's gone to great lengths to try to repair any damaged relationships post-Crimson, and the majority of former Crimson members are on good terms with him.  Haskell, who got the worst treatment, (at least to outsiders) has forgiven Fripp (then again, they also go back farther than any of the others, having been childhood friends).  Fripp seems to be unable to not piss off Greg Lake, who probably  comes off as the biggest asshat of the group anyway.  He also patched things up with the Islands-era members, with the exception of Burrell (who never forgave him, and died a few years ago).  Even Bruford, who was the target of much of Fripp's ire for 20+ years, never really took it personally ("I had the thickest skin, so it was fair that I took most of the barbs.").

So he's an odd character who often comes across as an asshat; he's referred to himself as "a wretched creature" or some such on numerous occasions.  But for every snide comment he makes about someone else, he's probably made an equal number about himself.  He certainly has an ego, but it's probably less obnoxious than most "star" musicians, because he recognizes that the musicians are servants of the music, not the other way around.  "I didn't choose music--music chose me.  And it couldn't have chosen someone less likely to succeed at it," he's said.
 
2013-02-10 03:01:28 PM  

GypsyJoker: Soulcatcher: Close2TheEdge: List fails without Fripp.  Fripp has always been a douche, but extremely great talent is justified in being that way.  Fripp used to insult the audience if they clapped too loud or didn't pay attention enough.  He's mellowed out some.  I always loved the fact that he insisted playing sitting down.  He's a purist, and it shows.

Fripp doesn't like to sign autographs or shake hands with strangers or have people taking pictures during performances. So what?

Do a search on Robert Fripp's Diary and you will see that Fripp shares more intimate details of his life than any other musician I can think of. He has kept this online diary for years. He talks about when he got up in the morning, what he had for breakfast, what book he is reading, how the Mynx is feeling, what's blooming in his garden, repairs that he needs to have done in his house, the weather, what friends have called, what music he is listening to, how his pet bunny is doing (seriously).

He lives on another plane of existence, we are lucky to have partial access to him anyway.

/Most Farkers don't even know who he is, so who cares?

Fripp is Adrian Monk as a guitarist: an odd, super-intelligent guy with a lot of quirks and a penchant for pissing off his friends and co-workers because the subtleties and nuances of human interaction frequently escape him.

Yes, he's often off-putting to Crimson audiences (at least those not used to his manner of interacting with them).  His rationale, however, at least makes logical sense, even if you don't buy into it: excessive crowd noise disturbs the "zone" that the band members try to get into when they're doing their improvisational work (which is much of the show). Music is a fragile thing, and being broken from that creative zone causes poorer performances by the musicians, which in turn means that the audience isn't getting what they pay for--even if they may have contributed to the problem.

Fripp considers himself "unmusical" and consider ...


You are preaching to the choir, brother.

I don't believe that anyone who even remotely understands Fripp has a problem with the way that he is. He's like Spock with a Les Paul, and he has

 chops that defy space, time, and gravity.

Deal with it.

=]
 
2013-02-10 06:52:31 PM  

iron_city_ap: Am I the only person to notice the article lists C.C. Deville but has a video of Wes Borland?


No.
 
2013-02-10 07:00:02 PM  

Soulcatcher: You are preaching to the choir, brother.


Oh, I know.  Just wanted to add a bit onto what you were saying.

He's one of the more interesting people in the music biz, that's for certain.
 
2013-02-10 07:49:47 PM  

GypsyJoker: Soulcatcher: You are preaching to the choir, brother.

Oh, I know.  Just wanted to add a bit onto what you were saying.

He's one of the more interesting people in the music biz, that's for certain.


I'm thrilled to see Farkers who are familiar with the genius that is Robert Fripp. I've enjoyed your posts today.
 
2013-02-11 01:12:23 AM  

qsblues: Y'know, bassists are always complaining that guitarists get all the attention and are out front with their cawks hanging out doing the whole widdlie widdlie woo thing.  Well, now's your chance to shine.  How about a list of Douchy Bass Players?  Let's get started:

Billy Sheehan
Jeff Berlin
Sid Vicious
Sting
Paul McCartney
Jaco Pastorious

discuss ...


List begins, ends and is entirely populated by Gene Simmons.
 
2013-02-11 07:32:16 AM  
Satriani is not a douche.  I don't like his playing so much but he is a genuinely nice guy.
I managed his long time opening act, Ned Evett (glass guitar guy) for a number of years.
Evett is no douche either.
 
2013-02-11 04:06:07 PM  

schemy: If excessive drug use can = douchiness, then Jerry Garcia tops them all.


Oh I forgot about him. Drug use aside, he acted like he was Mr.Guitar supreme. And he was just a wanker.
 
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