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(Village Voice)   Top 10 Douchiest Guitarists of All Time - feel free to add or subtract to this list on the right   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 260
    More: Fail, B.B. King  
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11195 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Feb 2013 at 9:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-08 07:31:54 PM  
Dead on for the tag, subby. This list fails without the Nuge.
 
2013-02-08 08:20:08 PM  
Douchiest list, you mean.

Here's the #1 douche guitarist: Neil Gerardo.
 
2013-02-08 08:43:39 PM  
I don't think Rick Nielsen is being serious, fella.
 
2013-02-08 08:48:30 PM  
I think you can be a guitar wanker without being a douche, but it seems impossible to be a guitar douche without being a wanker. Food for thought.
 
2013-02-08 09:05:59 PM  
The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?
 
2013-02-08 09:09:17 PM  
I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...
 
2013-02-08 09:16:16 PM  
Not clicking, but is the entire list Ted Nugent 10 times?
 
2013-02-08 09:17:14 PM  
gunshyassassin.com

earsucker.com
 
2013-02-08 09:18:40 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...


That's the whole farking point of playing Rock

//plus the "O" face for the solo money shot
 
2013-02-08 09:27:49 PM  
Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.
 
2013-02-08 09:28:26 PM  

basemetal: The writer seems to have a stick wedged up his ass.

/Rick Nielsen ?
//Really?


Yeah seems like it, all the guitarists mentioned are good musicians but go where they can make a living, there is no nobility in poverty.
 
2013-02-08 09:30:43 PM  
Although he's one of my all time faves, I think Ritchie Blackmore pretty much invented the concept of Guitar Douche.
 
2013-02-08 09:35:28 PM  
  Nigel Tufnel
 
2013-02-08 09:37:28 PM  
I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.
 
2013-02-08 09:38:16 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.
 
2013-02-08 09:38:42 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-08 09:39:39 PM  
That's one lame list.

Really, The best you could do is that? You called out Rick Nielsen?
Writer FAIL.
 
2013-02-08 09:40:30 PM  
Yngwie? ... ok. Satch?! FARK OFF, he's an awesome dude.
 
2013-02-08 09:41:34 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


Yup.
So can MAB. But, he has to drop the wig.
 
2013-02-08 09:42:08 PM  
Article is dildos

i1135.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-08 09:43:02 PM  

fusillade762: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x319]


Dammit
 
2013-02-08 09:43:40 PM  
Dave Mustaine anyone? Wrote Holy Wars, now condones them.
 
2013-02-08 09:44:55 PM  
Holy sour grapes, batman!

None of the behavior described in the article was actually "douchy".

Kids, this is what will happen if you grow up thinking you're going to be a rock god, but instead wind up writing crappy articles for some blog.
 
2013-02-08 09:46:51 PM  
The Edge tops every douche on this list, except maybe John Mayer.


While everybody on that list is an amazing douche nozzle, at least they're pretty good at their instrument.


The Edge has a 14 to 1 ratio of effects to actual notes he plays, and more annoyingly, he named himself "The Edge" to  play in an adult contemporary band.
 
2013-02-08 09:47:28 PM  

had98c: Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.


I won't argue with what Eddie became, but if you were there in 1978, Eruption was mind-blowing and ground-breaking.  People thought he was somehow using studio trickery to use it, to the point where on the next album he did it again on an acoustic.  He deserves the credit, you can't take it away from him.
 
2013-02-08 09:49:15 PM  
How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.
 
2013-02-08 09:49:39 PM  

thermo: PhiloeBedoe: I sometimes see these rock and roll guitarists and I wonder to myself if they have mistaken their guitars for their privates, what with all the stroking and fondling...

That's the whole farking point of being a poseur. Playing Rock or any genre for that matter is about creating something that people actually want to listen to.

//plus the "O" face for the solo money shot

if you're a poseur.


Fixed that for you
 
2013-02-08 09:50:18 PM  
No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!
 
Slu
2013-02-08 09:53:31 PM  

Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!


Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.
 
2013-02-08 09:54:52 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


I think that was the point.  He wasn't trying to make fun of the guitar center heroes.  These guys have the skills, but he's scared of their O faces.
 
2013-02-08 09:54:56 PM  

guilt by association: How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.


Dude can play...see "The Trio".

/seriously
 
2013-02-08 09:55:09 PM  

Earguy: had98c: Went to article just to make sure Eddie Van Halen was on it. Justice was served.

I won't argue with what Eddie became, but if you were there in 1978, Eruption was mind-blowing and ground-breaking.  People thought he was somehow using studio trickery to use it, to the point where on the next album he did it again on an acoustic.  He deserves the credit, you can't take it away from him.


Eddie Van Halen is awesome and the author of this article is .... well I'm not going to stoop to his puerile name-calling level and call him a douchebag but he's a douchebag.
 
2013-02-08 09:56:03 PM  
I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.
 
2013-02-08 10:03:01 PM  

Mugato: I don't know what the qualifications are for "douchiest guitarist" but Yngwie Malmsteen can do shiat on guitar that I couldn't do in a thousand years.


Google  up "Unleash the fury" for that, along with many other anecdotes on just what a collossal douche Yngwie is.  If he's not #1 on the list, the list fails.

And Malmsteen is horrible, for the record.
 
2013-02-08 10:03:21 PM  
I've never seen John Mayer play guitar.  He's good - I've heard him play - but I've never SEEN it.

Yeah, he looked top of the douche pile.
 
2013-02-08 10:04:36 PM  

guilt by association: How is John Mayer even considered a guitarist? His best talent is singing through his nose.


John Mayer is a freak with a guitar.  The dude has legitimate chops.
 
2013-02-08 10:04:52 PM  
Bullshiat list is bullshiat.

Eddie made it OK for Rock to be fun again.

Malmsteen and Satriani? Genuine masters.

Nielson? His whole gig is a parody, and he is awesome at it. Also fun.

/and you seriously didn't have Page on the list?

//runs
 
2013-02-08 10:05:57 PM  
www.hollywoodtoday.net

Do Douchettes count as well?
 
2013-02-08 10:06:37 PM  
No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.
 
2013-02-08 10:09:06 PM  
I can't really participate in a serious discussion about music when the person who started it doesn't "get" the guy from Cheap Trick.

Gonna have to ask to add the guy from Rage Against The Machine to the list, though. He's a tool bag just because they added a special disclaimer to their albums telling everyone that no synthesizers were used like he has to jerk himself off that much more. Know who never had to add a disclaimer to an album to tell fans what was up? Thurson Moore.
 
2013-02-08 10:10:15 PM  

ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.


Morello can play.
 
2013-02-08 10:13:32 PM  

MFAWG: ScouserDuck: I would add Kurt Cobain and possibly Tom Morello.

Morello can play.


Sure...but the list doesn't have anything to do with ability.
 
2013-02-08 10:13:43 PM  

vogonity: No Ritchie Blackmore?

I guess for the purposes of this list, "douchiest" doesn't mean prima donna asshole.


I think in this article it means whomever the writer found while Googling. The article stinks of "I owe 2000 words in about an hour."
 
2013-02-08 10:13:56 PM  
I think Fred Durst should qualify, just for that one glorious moment he makes a complete ass of himself on the guitar.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MI-_jWAmlE
 
2013-02-08 10:16:05 PM  
Steve Vai played guitar for Frank Zappa.


Nobody should have a tuft of hair under their lower lip, however.
 
2013-02-08 10:17:50 PM  
I think Neal Schon should be on the list. He Fired Steve Perry from Journey, Ego killed the band and untold millions of dollars to himself.
 
2013-02-08 10:18:57 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zw_MEs0xOAg

I always found this guy to be epic.


Why is the drummer fenced off with bubble wrap?
 
2013-02-08 10:21:08 PM  
EVH is plenty enough douche on his own, but anyone that bags on Eruption should simply state "I have no idea what I'm talking about."

Guitar time is measured in BEVH and AEVH time frames.  Eruption changed *everything.*   There is a reason you have a brazillion 15 year old shred monkeys on every corner.  And that is it.  It's a seminal work in the history of rock and roll.  Whether you like it or not is irrelevant.  You have to be a colossal douche not to recognize it.
 
2013-02-08 10:21:51 PM  

Slu: Top Geezer: No Billy Corgan? Really?

/really???!!

Good call.

It is tough to argue their top 2 though. And I would have put whomever plays guitar in Madien on there as well.


I will assume you are referencing a hipster band I have never heard of. If you are, in any way, disparaging Dave Murray, Adrian Smith or Janick Gers, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Up the Irons
\m/
 
2013-02-08 10:25:04 PM  
a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

G.E. Smith farked over every performance he was ever in with excessive douchery, including this one with T-Bone and Clapton. The former SNL guitarist/musical director made me want to go Elvis on my TV every gotdammed time he mugged his way on screen. None so douchey
 
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