FARK.com: (7582841) Officials want to build a 75-mile path through the Everglades so that joggers and cyclists can have easy access to the wildlife without having to use their cars. What could go wrong?

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		Officials want to build a 75-mile path through the Everglades so that joggers and cyclists can have easy access to the wildlife without having to use their cars. What could go wrong? (sun-sentinel.com)		121
		More: Florida, Everglades, Florida Department of Transportation, accessibilities, Everglades National Park, ring roads, black bears, tailpipes, Collier County

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7298 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2013 at 8:30 PM | Favorite | share:

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corq		2013-02-09 06:07:45 AM

Mom had this as a bumper sticker when I was growing up, we commuted quite a bit between Sarasota and the Keys.
rlv.zcache.com

//Most gators seen at rest stops were too lazy to bother with us, or busy sunning.

chewielouie		2013-02-09 06:09:45 AM

blockhouse: The specter of alligators stalking and eating people using this path is scary enough, but what should really worry people is the American crocodile which lives in the Everglades. They're bigger, faster (they can run up to 35 mph), and more aggressive than gators and tend not to fear people as much. Brain aneurisms are less terrifying.

Except that they're mostly concentrated on the west coast, are pretty rare and can only hold that 35 mph thing for about 15 feet.

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl		2013-02-09 07:24:12 AM

How about the obvious question, why the fark do you really need a path through a wild preserve? To ride your bike? Leave it alone.

Jon iz teh kewl		2013-02-09 07:32:30 AM

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: How about the obvious question, why the fark do you really need a path through a wild preserve? To ride your bike? Leave it alone.

so people can ride their bikes there every day for 40 minutes and burn the required 100 calories needed to start out their work week

kim jong-un		2013-02-09 08:56:39 AM

Fark's reaction to anything non-supermarket:

Damn nature, you scary.

runwiz		2013-02-09 08:59:35 AM

The path, which would be 12 to 14 feet wide, would be available to cyclists, bird watchers, pedestrians, people in wheelchairs - but no motor vehicles. Also available to alligators, Burmese pythons, and maybe even a Florida panther.

ecmoRandomNumbers		2013-02-09 10:32:02 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: why would you WANT to SEE an ALLIGATOR?! what part of "eat you whole" don't you understand

Also, they were ancient when the DINOSAURS roamed the earth. These things know how to survive. I don't want to get close to that.

Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute		2013-02-09 10:46:30 AM

Most of the Lance Armstrong wanna be cyclers don't use the paths. They still ride on the road with the vehicles. I guess its less "bumpy" or something.

Gators hate people and will stay away. Bring your doggies. Gators love doggies.

Cloudchaser Sakonige the Red Wolf		2013-02-09 12:13:49 PM

The Alligator Alley Grand Prix?

/too obscure?

Madman drummers bummers		2013-02-09 12:24:11 PM

kim jong-un: Fark's reaction to anything non-supermarket:

Damn nature, you scary.

Also the reaction to most things supermarket. Especially right before a snowstorm or major sporting event, or on Food Stamp Day.

StoPPeRmobile		2013-02-09 12:43:07 PM

Sounds like a good idea.
www.sff.net

/boring-as-hell drive

skink		2013-02-09 01:27:31 PM

Ramen Pride!: Skink's gonna get pissed.

Damn skippy, I am. Good thing I know how to set a road grader on fire.

*adjusts eyepatch*

skink		2013-02-09 01:29:28 PM

Actually, I thought they were talking about a new ROAD across the Glades.

Walking trail? I am okay with this.

mbillips		2013-02-09 01:36:39 PM

Compared to, say, Floridians, gators and pythons are absolutely no threat whatsoever.

NameDot		2013-02-09 01:41:05 PM

NotARocketScientist: Officials want to build a 75-mile path through the Everglades so that joggers and cyclists wildlife can have easy access to the wildlife joggers and cyclists without having to use chew through their cars. What could go wrong?

FTFY^{2 ('cause of the multiplicative goodness)}

/those evil ~~crocks~~ gators ate my little dog while we were jogging through the Everglades in 3...2...1...

Handle accurate..alt, troll, or not from the states? (Not accepting simple mistake as an answer)

NameDot		2013-02-09 01:47:16 PM

Early on in my Army sponsored visit to Florida, we had a family picnic at Fox Lake Park in Titusville. First clue was the alligator infestation signs by the water. Then I saw a Dad and his older son paddling a canoe with two little girls in between them. The alligators were all over! We finished our picnic with a pistol on the table.

Locals clued me in to not be such a nit wit later, but I freaked out a bit because I was thinking of the children ^TM.

Finger51		2013-02-09 02:09:48 PM

TinyFist: Gators are just something we Floridians (FloriDuh-uns)live with. Play a round of golf, guess what? There's a gator swimming across the lake. Maybe sunning itself on the bank. I'm not one of those "hold my beer, watch this!" idiots, but it's a damned alligator. It's like being scared to go in the ocean because OMG A shark is gonna eat me!!! How many of you are scared of toasters or airplanes?

Hey, fear is what makes America great these days. If we aren't afraid then the terrorists have won.

wait. uh .. No, that's right. I got it right.

skink		2013-02-09 04:04:06 PM

NameDot: Handle accurate..alt, troll, or not from the states? (Not accepting simple mistake as an answer)

If you are a real Floridian, you should know there ARE crocs in the Everglades.

brantgoose		2013-02-09 04:42:31 PM

Well, the worst that could go wrong is that one of the joggers could accidentally step off of the path and kill a moth or butterfly, and when he got back to Civilization, the whole history of the world could be changed and the wrong guy could be President. I read this short story about that, and I also saw the stupid B-movie.

But it's happened in Florida before.

Just ask people about the 2000 Presidential Election. Or the 2004 Election. Or the 2008 election .... As long as Floridians are allowed to vote, weird stupid shiat will happen.

ecmoRandomNumbers		2013-02-09 05:16:41 PM

Madman drummers bummers: kim jong-un: Fark's reaction to anything non-supermarket:

Damn nature, you scary.

Also the reaction to most things supermarket. Especially right before a snowstorm or major sporting event, or on Food Stamp Day.

You go ahead and travel that path. My mom is from Florida, and the scariest thing she's ever seen here is a black widow spider, which she promptly smashed with a Kleenex. She was taken (unknowingly) gator-poaching when she was a teenager. When the canoe turned over, she told the genius who, thank Christ, didn't turn out to be my dad, "I hope you get your arm eaten."

Guess what? 2 years later. Arm torn off. The women in my family have a way of cursing people. I really believe that my dad is only alive because of a voodoo doll my mom has stashed somewhere, but she puts pins in it to give it colon problems and make his life miserable.

NameDot		2013-02-09 10:29:58 PM

skink: NameDot: Handle accurate..alt, troll, or not from the states? (Not accepting simple mistake as an answer)

If you are a real Floridian, you should know there ARE crocs in the Everglades.

read much?

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