If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Suicide bomber in northern Mali kills one   (news.yahoo.com) divider line 54
    More: Fail, suicide bombers, Malian, junior officers, Bamako, Islamic extremists, explosive belt, armed forces  
•       •       •

5612 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2013 at 11:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



54 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-08 09:37:41 AM
I love a happy ending.
 
2013-02-08 09:39:47 AM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-08 09:47:20 AM
thegritpodcast.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-08 10:04:21 AM
Own goal.
 
2013-02-08 10:25:35 AM
premature esplosions
 
2013-02-08 11:15:20 AM
Fantastic. I laughed, I laughed, and I laughed. The trifecta.
 
2013-02-08 11:15:40 AM
Actually I would classify this as a win. A suicide bomber who actually only committed suicide.
 
2013-02-08 11:15:57 AM
instead of virgins, he'll only get 12 old hookers and some near-beer.
 
2013-02-08 11:16:39 AM
cdn.stripersonline.com
 
2013-02-08 11:18:50 AM
t3.gstatic.com
Understands
 
2013-02-08 11:20:09 AM
www.mtholyoke.edu
 
2013-02-08 11:20:23 AM

lokis_mentor: [t3.gstatic.com image 194x259]
Understands


Was it a case of premature detonation?
 
2013-02-08 11:22:18 AM
www.earthinpictures.com

I'll just post this here as I feel the psychos are going to be taking it down pretty soon.
 
2013-02-08 11:23:18 AM
"I am totally going to blow these farkers up.  Okay, first thing's first ... look around, make sure no one is nearby.  Good, now press the trigger -- OH shiat WAIT!"

\boom
 
2013-02-08 11:24:14 AM
Mansa Musa really needs to pay attention and kick these barbarians out of his cultural borders.
 
2013-02-08 11:24:23 AM

Spanky_McFarksalot: instead of virgins, he'll only get 12 old hookers and some near-beer.


That actually sounds better than the 72 virgins.
 
2013-02-08 11:25:19 AM
Hee-haw.

/Islamists are farking idiots.
 
2013-02-08 11:26:20 AM
durbnpoisn.comli.com
 
2013-02-08 11:27:41 AM

orclover: That actually sounds better than the 72 virgins.


well, good news, because an opening just came up!
 
2013-02-08 11:28:33 AM
.............. killing only himself

you're doing it wrong RIGHT!
 
2013-02-08 11:35:29 AM
does he still get his 70 virgins?
 
2013-02-08 11:44:10 AM
Awesome. Now if only the rest of the nuts (bombers, idiots with grudges and guns, etc) would do it this way. :)
 
2013-02-08 11:44:15 AM

Glancing Blow: [www.mtholyoke.edu image 449x282]


Came here for this, leaving satisfied.

/boom!
 
2013-02-08 11:45:11 AM
Does Fox News still make a big point about calling these guys Homicide Bombers?  I remember them being very proud of using that term.
 
2013-02-08 11:49:05 AM
Maybe the NRA could help...
 
2013-02-08 11:49:35 AM
When a bomb turns a guy to a road pizza pie
That's a Mali.
 
2013-02-08 11:52:44 AM

cgraves67: Mansa Musa really needs to pay attention and kick these barbarians out of his cultural borders.


+1
 
2013-02-08 11:53:56 AM
Who did he kill?
 
2013-02-08 12:04:13 PM

Rapmaster2000: Does Fox News still make a big point about calling these guys Homicide Bombers?  I remember them being very proud of using that term.


That was the dumbest thing ever.

Of course fox still does it.
 
2013-02-08 12:11:35 PM
Thank you for your purchase of the Allah's Breath Exploding Vest. Only the finest materials and skill went in to the construction of your Allah's Breath Exploding Vest. It is designed to give you hours of use and to help you send many, many infidels to Hell.

Take a moment to review your new vest. The ventilation panel is controlled by pulling on the lanyard with the single raised dot on it. The vest's hoodie is controlled by the lanyard with two raised dots on it. The detonation of the vest is achieved by pulling on the lanyard with three raised dots on it. All of these lanyards are conveniently stored in the Lanyard Retention Pocket.

Be sure you are pulling on the correct lanyard when pulling on the lanyard. Screaming "Allah Akbar!" and deploying a hoodie is not the desired effect for the most part. Also, be sure all lanyards are stored in the lanyard retention pocket before removing the vest. It has been determined that sometimes a lanyard can be caught on the vest zipper. Two out of three times, it is no big deal but number three... Well, just be careful if you decide to take your vest off around your comrades. You really don't want to spend eternity sharing virgins.

Enjoy your new vest and let it be known that when you arrive in Heaven with your Allah's Breath Exploding Vest, the virgins will think you are stylin'.
 
2013-02-08 12:15:03 PM
The bomber, who was wearing an explosive belt, was the only casualty.

Turns out, "Front Towards Enemy" was pointing at him.
 
2013-02-08 12:31:41 PM
farm7.static.flickr.com
 
2013-02-08 12:35:32 PM
musta been a newbie...you know...young...

kids...they blow up so fast.
 
2013-02-08 12:51:50 PM

Harry Freakstorm: Thank you for your purchase of the Allah's Breath Exploding Vest. Only the finest materials and skill went in to the construction of your Allah's Breath Exploding Vest. It is designed to give you hours of use and to help you send many, many infidels to Hell.

Take a moment to review your new vest. The ventilation panel is controlled by pulling on the lanyard with the single raised dot on it. The vest's hoodie is controlled by the lanyard with two raised dots on it. The detonation of the vest is achieved by pulling on the lanyard with three raised dots on it. All of these lanyards are conveniently stored in the Lanyard Retention Pocket.

Be sure you are pulling on the correct lanyard when pulling on the lanyard. Screaming "Allah Akbar!" and deploying a hoodie is not the desired effect for the most part. Also, be sure all lanyards are stored in the lanyard retention pocket before removing the vest. It has been determined that sometimes a lanyard can be caught on the vest zipper. Two out of three times, it is no big deal but number three... Well, just be careful if you decide to take your vest off around your comrades. You really don't want to spend eternity sharing virgins.

Enjoy your new vest and let it be known that when you arrive in Heaven with your Allah's Breath Exploding Vest, the virgins will think you are stylin'.


9/10 - Laughed heartily. Would laugh again.
 
2013-02-08 12:54:44 PM
Suicide squad: attack!
 
2013-02-08 12:56:39 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: [www.earthinpictures.com image 357x476]

I'll just post this here as I feel the psychos are going to be taking it down pretty soon.


You mean like this?
s3-ec.buzzfed.com
 
2013-02-08 01:03:44 PM

Ned Stark: That was the dumbest thing ever.


Worse then Freedom Fries?
 
2013-02-08 01:20:47 PM

JRaynor: Ned Stark: That was the dumbest thing ever.

Worse then Freedom Fries?


Yes. Freedom fries was bad but mostly just because it's silly nonsense.

Homicide bomber diminishes the amount of useful knowledge conveyed by the phrase. all bombers are homicide bombers. Ya know, cause they are stetting off bombs in crowded placed. Suicide bombers are unique in that they are holding the bomb when they do it.
 
2013-02-08 01:49:23 PM
pjmedia.com
 
2013-02-08 01:49:26 PM
thanks subby, I laughed

//lude
 
2013-02-08 01:54:05 PM

TheShavingofOccam123: [www.earthinpictures.com image 357x476]

I'll just post this here as I feel the psychos are going to be taking it down pretty soon.


Even the nazis let it stand. I hope they don't.
 
2013-02-08 01:55:26 PM
cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com
 
2013-02-08 01:55:53 PM
Fark needs a Fail of the Year category for submissions like this.
 
2013-02-08 02:08:19 PM
 
2013-02-08 02:21:05 PM
The good news is that he doesn't suck any more.
 
2013-02-08 02:53:20 PM

Ned Stark: Rapmaster2000: Does Fox News still make a big point about calling these guys Homicide Bombers?  I remember them being very proud of using that term.

That was the dumbest thing ever.

Of course fox still does it.


It's my all time favorite example of Political Correctness
 
2013-02-08 03:25:33 PM

Ned Stark: Homicide bomber diminishes the amount of useful knowledge conveyed by the phrase. all bombers are homicide bombers. Ya know, cause they are stetting off bombs in crowded placed. Suicide bombers are unique in that they are holding the bomb when they do it.


Not 'all' bombers are homicide bombers.  You get the occasional one from someplace like greenpeace where they detonate their devices only against uninhabited structures.

For that matter, in many cases a 'bomber' is considered to have been the one who built the bomb - or at least set it up.  When it comes to suicide bombers, it's my understanding that most don't really have anything to do with the construction - bomb making is a valuable skill, so they get the dumbest, most useless person devoted to their cause(and they'll deliberately keep them ignorant) to wear the vest - which is placed on them with skilled labor.

Some aren't even suicide bombers anymore, despite wearing the vest - they're not really given the option to NOT wear the vest, and it's detonated remotely by radio trigger(cell phone, long distance portable, garage door opener, etc...)
 
2013-02-08 04:26:38 PM
 "It's my first day!"
 
2013-02-08 05:00:30 PM
Do you know where I can find Mali
She makes my life happier
More exciting,
She makes me want to-BOOM!
 
2013-02-08 06:16:10 PM

BillCo: I love a happy ending.


But, don't they usually cost extra?

/ SILENCE!! I keel you!
 
Displayed 50 of 54 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report