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(The Atlantic)   The problem with introverted kids these days is that they are introverted   (theatlantic.com) divider line 138
    More: Asinine, great expectations, Dartmouth Medical School, scavenger hunts, personality types  
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6967 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Feb 2013 at 1:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-08 12:42:07 AM
My son has the opposite problem. He's a huge extrovert. Needs to learn to sit quietly and wait his turn more in class.

/top of his class in grades, though
//proud parent mode activated
 
2013-02-08 01:15:47 AM
As a kid, I was an introvert (still am), but I was also the smartest kid in my classes.  So I had no problem with speaking up.  And I agree that the middle of the pack introverts need to be encouraged to engage in class discussion.

However, participation grades need to focus on quality of participation, not quantity.
 
2013-02-08 01:16:45 AM

pion: As a kid, I was an introvert (still am), but I was also the smartest kid in my classes.  So I had no problem with speaking up.  And I agree that the middle of the pack introverts need to be encouraged to engage in class discussion.

However, participation grades need to focus on quality of participation, not quantity.


I was the same way.  I think I was more introverted toward my peers but not to teachers and such.
 
2013-02-08 01:16:52 AM
I get it, but introversion really is a problem if you want to succeed emotionally and professionally in our culture.  Just take a look at Reddit's foreveralone subreddit to see how these kind of people can end up.
 
2013-02-08 01:17:40 AM

Transubstantive: I get it, but introversion really is a problem if you want to succeed emotionally and professionally in our culture.  Just take a look at Reddit's foreveralone subreddit to see how these kind of people can end up.


submitting things they see three days later on fark?
 
2013-02-08 01:20:23 AM
Punks have trouble making eye contact these days
 
2013-02-08 01:21:36 AM
Maybe I still don't want to talk to you.
 
2013-02-08 01:22:03 AM
Extroverts need to learn to shut the hell up unless they have something worth saying.
 
2013-02-08 01:22:08 AM
They gave all the extroverted kids Ritalin and such because "they have ADHD". Teachers can't deal with active kids anymore. If they don't sit down and shut up, there has to be something wrong with them!

Ohhhh no, now all the kids are sitting down and shutting up!
 
2013-02-08 01:24:03 AM
Is the girl in the article so introverted she pissed herself?
 
2013-02-08 01:24:53 AM

pion: As a kid, I was an introvert (still am), but I was also the smartest kid in my classes. So I had no problem with speaking up. And I agree that the middle of the pack introverts need to be encouraged to engage in class discussion.


I was also an introvert and the smartest kid in my class (school was small). However, I never wanted to answer questions because I always hoped one of my friends would answer. Its hard to say why. I think I felt ashamed -- whether on their behalf or of myself I don't know. I hated it when I would inevitably get called on and everyone would glare at me with that "good job, smart alec" look. I would put on a fake tone of uncertainty when responding to try to smooth things over.

This built in some really, really bad classroom habits that carried over to when I went to university and all of a sudden everyone else was super smart as well and much more eager to please than I was.
 
2013-02-08 01:25:32 AM
Class participation grades.  As if showing up and pulling straight As on tests, assignments and papers ain't enough. Gack. One problem with class participation is the other kids might notice you're smart and bully you for the rest of your childhood.
 
2013-02-08 01:37:06 AM
Why the hell would you want to turn kids upside down to begin with?
 
2013-02-08 01:39:36 AM
So if you speak up too much in class it's bad because you could be labeled ADD or disruptive or somesuch. If you don't speak up, it's bad because you're introverted or shy or whatever. In a few years, the girls will all get extra scrutiny because they're not speaking up because they're having self-esteem issues; while the boys will be eyeballed in case they're having gender identity issues and might be getting bullied.

Honestly, it was a lot easier when I was a kid and nobody gave a crap who was answering in class, as long as it was the right answer.
 
2013-02-08 01:39:59 AM
I am always amazed in these threads how many farkers were the smartest kids in the class
 
2013-02-08 01:40:35 AM
The article was basically correct. Communicating with others is simply a survival skill.

Doesn't mean you have to communicate all the time, but you need to know how.
 
2013-02-08 01:41:15 AM

Hermit Tard: I am always amazed in these threads how many farkers were the smartest kids in the class


I never said I was the only smartest kid in class!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=8uPJEhK0j9U #t =220s
 
2013-02-08 01:42:42 AM

Hermit Tard: I am always amazed in these threads how many farkers were the smartest kids in the class


Lake Wobegon High class of '03!
 
2013-02-08 01:54:23 AM
Extroverting should require a license ensuring the bearer is capable of public interaction without reflexively spewing douche juice everywhere. Then cheeseballs like the lady who wrote this article for would be legally obligated to always remain very very quiet and life would be so nice.
 
2013-02-08 01:58:33 AM

Ivo Shandor: Extroverts need to learn to shut the hell up unless they have something worth saying.


^
 
2013-02-08 01:59:26 AM

KrispyKritter: Why the hell would you want to turn kids upside down to begin with?



farm8.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-08 02:00:45 AM

Hermit Tard: I am always amazed in these threads how many farkers were the smartest kids in the class


Not surprising, coming from someone named Hermit Tard.
 
2013-02-08 02:02:22 AM

Abacus9: Ivo Shandor: Extroverts need to learn to shut the hell up unless they have something worth saying.

^


why?  in what country?  are u gay?

the only decent people worth talking to are extroverts.  the introverts i wanna find a gun and shoot them all with guano.  and I'M an introvert.  so says my parents (social anxiety disorder)
 
2013-02-08 02:03:35 AM
I love the argument that introverts need to learn to deal with the real world. It seems to me that the opposite is true; extroverts are always busy talking and never getting any work done. Not just that, but introverts tend to interview well because they know the appropriate time to speak up. They just don't need to jibber-jabber all day long.
 
J3
2013-02-08 02:03:37 AM
People keep saying "in today's culture speaking up is a survival skill". Nope. Today more than ever before our culture has ways for introverts to do what they need to do in the way they prefer. The internet is the best thing that ever happened to introverts!
 
2013-02-08 02:05:59 AM
Let's homogenize! If a kid is introverted, thoughtful, slower to answer, more careful in his/her responses, let's get rid of that nonsense with a quickness. Nothing great in our foundation was ever built on that. Individuality is for communists. No great person in history has spent hours or days even in quiet contemplation or taken time to consider the proper response. Let's spit that stuff out as fast as we can because faster is better!
 
2013-02-08 02:11:05 AM

The One True TheDavid: Class participation grades.  As if showing up and pulling straight As on tests, assignments and papers ain't enough. Gack. One problem with class participation is the other kids might notice you're smart and bully you for the rest of your childhood.


There wasn't a single class I was in since first grade that didn't require "participation" in some form or another, whether it be asking questions in class, doing the homework, whatever. I pulled out fantastic grades--nothing but A's in elementary school--but I hated participating. In first grade I never did my homework, and still I made nothing but A's. High school? Hated participating, still pulled off a 3.4 GPA. College? Started coming out of my "shell" and participated a little--mostly to call professors out on obvious bullcrap--but still didn't "participate" to the level asked.

Am I an introvert? You better believe it. I hang out with my friends, but in public, at parties, and with my family, I generally keep to myself.

TL;DR? Class participation is bullcrap. Homework is bullcrap (caveat: for people that actually understand the material to begin with). Introverts are people too--cool people.
 
2013-02-08 02:16:30 AM
I have been an introvert all my life. I have to force myself out into the world. It's very uncomfortable for me. But I have to stay ACTIVE.
 
2013-02-08 02:24:46 AM
How long until Introversion shows up on the DSM?
 
2013-02-08 02:26:10 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: Abacus9: Ivo Shandor: Extroverts need to learn to shut the hell up unless they have something worth saying.

^

why?  in what country?  are u gay?

the only decent people worth talking to are extroverts.  the introverts i wanna find a gun and shoot them all with guano.  and I'M an introvert.  so says my parents (social anxiety disorder)


You are obviously a disturbed individual if it enrages you that some people prefer to keep to themselves.
 
2013-02-08 02:26:28 AM
 
2013-02-08 02:28:45 AM

Need_MindBleach: How long until Introversion shows up on the DSM?


Introversion is not a mental disorder, so never.
 
2013-02-08 02:31:35 AM

Serious Black: Need_MindBleach: How long until Introversion shows up on the DSM?

Introversion is not a mental disorder, so never.


Neither is washing your hands often, but it'll be in the DSM-V under "OCD."
 
2013-02-08 02:34:11 AM
Introverts just want to be left alone. When something is worth saying, we say it.
 
2013-02-08 02:35:42 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Is the girl in the article so introverted she pissed herself?


Good to know I'm not the only one who thought that.
 
2013-02-08 02:35:57 AM
These are the kind of kids that shoot up schools, right?
 
2013-02-08 02:37:38 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Introverts just want to be left alone. When something is worth saying, we say it.


THIS
 
2013-02-08 02:39:34 AM
i677.photobucket.com

Hanako disagrees.
 
2013-02-08 02:41:33 AM
Ah, introversion - the next in line for common traits self-help drivel panders to in order to convince people they're somehow all super unique. Basically the same way everyone became a self diagnosed aspie in response to effectively "marketing" it.

C'mon people, show us those info graphics on how the world is supposed to treat you better than others.

/would probably scale as introverted
//just hates the marketing and pandering that's become the Internet thing
 
2013-02-08 02:41:37 AM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Introverts just want to be left alone. When something is worth saying, we say it.


The problem in situations like this teacher is talking about is that extroverts often monopolize time to say things because that's the way that they form coherent thoughts. It can be hard for an introvert to put together a coherent thought in that kind of environment when they're constantly getting new information to synthesize into the whole.
 
2013-02-08 02:41:53 AM

fisker: These are the kind of kids that shoot up schools, right?


I hope you're joking; the inter webs are notorious for hiding sarcasm in forum threads.

/INTJ
 
2013-02-08 02:43:19 AM

maram500: Serious Black: Need_MindBleach: How long until Introversion shows up on the DSM?

Introversion is not a mental disorder, so never.

Neither is washing your hands often, but it'll be in the DSM-V under "OCD."


Well, there's washing your hands often (which is a thing you have to do in the food industry - Handle eggs? Wash hands. Handle meat? Wash hands.  Handle trash? Wash hands.  Handle dirty dishes? Wash hands.  Touch hair or face? Wash hands. - otherwise you'll get a customer sick, your boss sued, and yourself fired), and then there's fixating on hand-washing to Lady Macbeth levels (which may indicate OCD).

Similarly, there's introversion, where people get their energy from the self, and then there's social phobia.
 
2013-02-08 02:46:27 AM

Seth'n'Spectrum: pion: As a kid, I was an introvert (still am), but I was also the smartest kid in my classes. So I had no problem with speaking up. And I agree that the middle of the pack introverts need to be encouraged to engage in class discussion.

I was also an introvert and the smartest kid in my class (school was small). However, I never wanted to answer questions because I always hoped one of my friends would answer. Its hard to say why. I think I felt ashamed -- whether on their behalf or of myself I don't know. I hated it when I would inevitably get called on and everyone would glare at me with that "good job, smart alec" look. I would put on a fake tone of uncertainty when responding to try to smooth things over.

This built in some really, really bad classroom habits that carried over to when I went to university and all of a sudden everyone else was super smart as well and much more eager to please than I was.


Actually, as an introvert, I agree with this teacher. During middle and high school, I was in somewhat unusual (and very different) educational environments, but they both very much forced me to interact in the classroom. By the time I hit college, I was far better prepared than the vast majority of my classmates to participate in class discussions. After having gotten used to it in lower levels, I was used to it, and it came completely naturally. Being better prepared than my classmates to participate in discussions helped me in college, and it's helped me in life.

Introverted or not, you need to participate, especially in controlled settings that serve as a safe place to learn how. Participating builds self confidence in the future, and you'll feel much more comfortable jumping into a conversation at a meeting or a networking event, or whatever else. Suck it up, they're life skills and you need them, you can always dive back into your book later.
 
2013-02-08 02:47:58 AM
article is not asinine, its the truth.  *preaching coming up* ->  The author is reiterating that parents are responsible for their kids' behavior.  Tons and tons of parents still come up short, so these kinds of articles must be written.  If we dont like taking extra time to help our quiet children, then they are more likely be upset and they just do not yet know how to understand why people dont like their introvert behavior.  Humans are biased against introverts, i think that is a timeless truth.  An introvert will be ignored and then the endless mixed emotions surging through their brain will confuse the living shiat out of them until they breakdown.  The breakdown WOULD NOT happen if they were adequately helped to deal wid it.  Yes, adequate help for an introvert means more work for the parents, probably lots more work.  I assume these certain parents think its not worth the extra time?  That is just idiotic because its the needs of the offspring of their own womb.  OK, ignore your dogs needs, its a frickin dog, who cares if he has fleas?  But for these certain parents to not realize their own flesh and blood little learners are worth endless help to address their societal shortcomings is preposterous.  Its totally natural to hate on the quiet kids and say theyre trying to be difficult and so deserve to be ignored or punished.  So at the point the difficult YET honorable thing to do is deny the natural bias and make way more time in the schedule to help them, its quite simple to me.
 
2013-02-08 02:49:01 AM

Strix occidentalis: Similarly, there's introversion, where people get their energy from the self, and then there's social phobia.


Agreed. I find life is easier to live after I've had time alone to recharge. :)
 
2013-02-08 02:50:07 AM
NAME'S SHY RONNIE AND I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD
GOT BORED WITH THE MURDER SO I SHOT MY OWN LEG
 
2013-02-08 02:52:39 AM

Xexi: fisker: These are the kind of kids that shoot up schools, right?

I hope you're joking; the inter webs are notorious for hiding sarcasm in forum threads.

/INTJ


I love threads in fark where people start pulling out personality types, INTP and INTJ are hilariously overrepresented here. I guess internet forums late at night are an INTx flystrip. Which, well, fits.

/INTP
 
2013-02-08 02:56:51 AM

Serious Black: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Introverts just want to be left alone. When something is worth saying, we say it.

The problem in situations like this teacher is talking about is that extroverts often monopolize time to say things because that's the way that they form coherent thoughts. It can be hard for an introvert to put together a coherent thought in that kind of environment when they're constantly getting new information to synthesize into the whole.


Then we make it socially acceptable to smack the loud ones.

/If you need me, I'll be in my Unabomber-style shack
 
2013-02-08 02:59:36 AM
I remember in middle school the school counselor wanted my parents to send me to a therapist because I was labeled "severe introvert" on some school test we had to take upon getting to 6th grade. She felt that I would be a underachieving student if I didn't "participate" more. That was fun. My parents who are also quiet by nature, read her a riot act about it. 3.8 GPA in highschool and Magna Cum Laude in college, fark you school counselor.

I have no desire to be the center of attention, I don't talk out loud a lot, I don't feel the need to always be talking to maintain a comfort level with my surroundings like extroverts. To be perfectly honest I hate talking, I use like 10min a month on my cell phone plan, and that's only because my mom calls me and insists I carry on a conversation with her. I think the most talking I do is on comms for EVE Online. The internet is my haven.

I have no problem conveying my thoughts verbally when needed, and I'm usually quite blunt and to the point if asked something directly. I just don't understand why remaining quiet, reserved, thoughtful, and passive in a group of people was suddenly deemed a "bad" thing or that I need help overcoming a problem I don't actually have. This article is full of shiat and the person who wrote it needs to STFU for once and listen to the silence.
 
2013-02-08 03:00:20 AM
cptjeff:I love threads in fark where people start pulling out personality types, INTP and INTJ are hilariously overrepresented here. I guess internet forums late at night are an INTx flystrip. Which, well, fits.

/INTP


Hey, we need to get our daily interaction somehow!
 
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