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(The Atlantic Wire)   If the thought of descending from apes make creationists retch, wait until they hear that scientists now think humans descended from rats   (theatlanticwire.com) divider line 106
    More: Interesting, scientists, apes, King Richard III, creationists, diet sodas, Stony Brook University, dietary habits, rats  
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2727 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Feb 2013 at 10:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-07 08:33:44 PM  
 
2013-02-07 08:38:01 PM  
Some of my best friends...
 
2013-02-07 08:40:47 PM  
Duh.

i218.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-07 08:41:49 PM  
Its really more about descent from common ancestry. That's the highest form of patriotic.
 
2013-02-07 08:42:55 PM  
static.ddmcdn.com
 
2013-02-07 08:45:16 PM  
I'm sitting at a bar next to a creationist as I post this. A real living creationist in Portland. Obviously I'm getting a kick out of that headline, and half tempted to use it to start an argument.
 
2013-02-07 08:48:02 PM  

davidphogan: I'm sitting at a bar next to a creationist as I post this. A real living creationist in Portland. Obviously I'm getting a kick out of that headline, and half tempted to use it to start an argument.


How do you know he's a creationist, is he wearing a sign?
 
2013-02-07 08:48:04 PM  
Descended from an ancestor to modern rats, of course. We're both mammals, we have a common ancestor someplace, only issue is how far back down the tree. Certainly way before we and the other current primates diverged.
 
2013-02-07 08:49:00 PM  
Wait until they find out we're descended from amoebas.
 
2013-02-07 08:56:27 PM  

thermo: davidphogan: I'm sitting at a bar next to a creationist as I post this. A real living creationist in Portland. Obviously I'm getting a kick out of that headline, and half tempted to use it to start an argument.

How do you know he's a creationist, is he wearing a sign?


A cross and a judgemental scowl.
 
2013-02-07 08:58:25 PM  

thermo: davidphogan: I'm sitting at a bar next to a creationist as I post this. A real living creationist in Portland. Obviously I'm getting a kick out of that headline, and half tempted to use it to start an argument.

How do you know he's a creationist, is he wearing a sign?


He told me last time we talked. Really nice guy, but he was really offended I don't agree with him and want really interested in reading the multiple books he swore would convince me.
 
2013-02-07 09:00:43 PM  
If humans descended from apes and rats, why do we still have apes and rats?

www.gpb.org
 
2013-02-07 09:08:54 PM  
Subby... I think you meant TO, not FROM
 
2013-02-07 09:09:30 PM  
So it's "Lucy" 'Neath the M(B)TA?
 
2013-02-07 09:21:34 PM  

DesertDemonWY: If humans descended from apes and rats, why do we still have apes and rats?

[www.gpb.org image 391x310]


Have you noticed that most of the people who want to outlaw abortion are people you wouldn't wanna f*ck in the first place?
 
2013-02-07 09:26:16 PM  
I guess it's nice to know which ancient rat we descended from, but I thought we already knew that all mammals came from some small rat-like creature that survived the dinosaur extinction event.
 
2013-02-07 09:31:52 PM  
Well the lawyers are anyway.

/What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
 
2013-02-07 09:35:37 PM  

ajgeek: What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?


A slow start.
 
2013-02-07 10:06:50 PM  

Philbb: I guess it's nice to know which ancient rat we descended from, but I thought we already knew that all mammals came from some small rat-like creature that survived the dinosaur extinction event.


Shrews?
 
2013-02-07 10:31:06 PM  
Bill?
 
2013-02-07 10:34:39 PM  
Humans, and every other mammal species. Duh.
 
2013-02-07 10:35:18 PM  
If the thought of descending from apes make creationists retch, wait until they hear that scientists now think humans descended from rats.

Wait until they hear about number agreement.
 
2013-02-07 10:37:18 PM  
Did they find the fossilized remains of mitochondrial Minnie Mouse?

I foresee another reboot of Battlestar Galactica in the wings....
 
2013-02-07 10:39:11 PM  

Old enough to know better: Humans, and every other mammal species. Duh.


Yeah and we were all reptiles before that, and fish before that and sea cucumbers before that and strands of RNA before that.  The creationists have a lot of things to feel uncomfortable about descending from after apes.
 
2013-02-07 10:42:53 PM  

dehehn: Old enough to know better: Humans, and every other mammal species. Duh.

Yeah and we were all reptiles before that, and fish before that and sea cucumbers before that and strands of RNA before that.  The creationists have a lot of things to feel uncomfortable about descending from after apes.


They tell us that
we lost our tails
evolving up
from little snails
I think it's all
just wind and sails
are we not men?
We are Devo
 
2013-02-07 10:42:55 PM  
Scientists don't think any such thing... you lying sack of subtard.
 
2013-02-07 10:43:22 PM  
We're all descended from creationists. So why do we still have them?
 
2013-02-07 10:44:03 PM  
If they met my ex-husband, they would have no problem believing humans evolved from rats.
 
2013-02-07 10:47:04 PM  
DAMMIT.

I was hoping for eels.

REALLY hoping for eels.

/don't want to talk about it
 
2013-02-07 10:55:39 PM  
So Splinter wasn't a mutation, but a genetic regression?
 
2013-02-07 11:05:08 PM  
You mean "apes" didn't spontaneously just appear out of thin farking air but instead evolved from even more primal mammals themselves? Color me farking shocked! Stupid that people never considered that possibility before!
 
2013-02-07 11:08:46 PM  
It doesn't bother me in the least to find out what I desended from. I am comfortable enough with who I am that I don't need to have a "skyman" to have created me. I just don't care. If you need a god to have created you in order to feel justified, then you're weak. Who cares? You are now, isn't that good enough? I would rather have a monkey or slime mold be my recent ancestor than a republican. Those farkers are just evil.
(I'm not a democrat.)
 
2013-02-07 11:10:11 PM  

namatad: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pikaia

Pikaia is not impressed


images4.wikia.nocookie.net

Pika... nyaa?
 
2013-02-07 11:26:00 PM  
"Descended from?" "Evolved from?" Bullshiat, we are rats. We eat anything we lay our paws on, despoil everything around us, kill each other in large numbers for no reason whatsoever, and there are over 7 billion of us - constantly gnawing, biting, scratching, killing, infecting, and breeding. How are we not rats?
 
2013-02-07 11:44:32 PM  
Approves
i688.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-07 11:46:47 PM  
 
2013-02-07 11:47:07 PM  
Uh, we are apes. Just less hairy than the other ones.

/with some exceptions
//burockracy.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-02-07 11:52:03 PM  
Well that would explain Republicans.
 
2013-02-07 11:55:54 PM  

davidphogan: I'm sitting at a bar next to a creationist as I post this. A real living creationist in Portland. Obviously I'm getting a kick out of that headline, and half tempted to use it to start an argument.


I deal with a petroleum engineer on pretty regular basis who is a young Earth creationist. The mental gymnastics performed by this dude is astounding.
 
2013-02-07 11:59:09 PM  
I always liked the creationist logic.

Me: "What's so bad about being descended from apes? How do you know that wasn't God's plan?"

Creationist: "Because being descended from apes deprecates the value of human life; they are making us out to be animals. That's why I believe in the story of Genesis literally."

Me: "But in Genesis, God said, 'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return'. Does it really deprecate human life more to be descended from apes than it does to be descended from dust?"

Creationist: "...."

But seriously, setting aside the religion chat, this is a pretty cool story.  Mammal relationships has really been a sticky point for a long time and this isn't going to make it any better.  More accurate, but also more sticky, since it refutes a lot of common knowledge.
 
2013-02-08 12:00:56 AM  
What no Splinter!?
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-08 12:05:05 AM  

aerojockey: I always liked the creationist logic.

Me: "What's so bad about being descended from apes? How do you know that wasn't God's plan?"

Creationist: "Because being descended from apes deprecates the value of human life; they are making us out to be animals. That's why I believe in the story of Genesis literally."

Me: "But in Genesis, God said, 'Dust thou art, and unto dust thou shalt return'. Does it really deprecate human life more to be descended from apes than it does to be descended from dust?"

Creationist: "...."

But seriously, setting aside the religion chat, this is a pretty cool story.  Mammal relationships has really been a sticky point for a long time and this isn't going to make it any better.  More accurate, but also more sticky, since it refutes a lot of common knowledge.



If we were created from dust, then why is there still dust?
 
2013-02-08 12:05:19 AM  
This is new news?  I remember back when the Discovery channel actually showed educational programming, they had a program that showed the Chicxulub Asteroid striking the earth, with tiny mammals in burrows surviving.
 
2013-02-08 12:07:27 AM  
What no Mrs. Garrison saying we come from retarded fish?
 
2013-02-08 12:07:58 AM  
Almost forgot:

Rodents of unsual size? I don't think they exist.
 
2013-02-08 12:19:34 AM  

Philbb: I guess it's nice to know which ancient rat we descended from, but I thought we already knew that all mammals came from some small rat-like creature that survived the dinosaur extinction event.


Not really.

Well, first of all, all mammals came from a more-reptile-like ancestor in the early Triassic.  This study wasn't looking at that, though.

If you throw out marsupials and platypi, and just look at placental mammals, then this is big news.  It was believed that the placental mammals started diverging from a common ancestor 100 mya, but this new study suggests that is was only 60 mya.  This disagrees with theories on how fast DNA changes.  There might be some wider implications there.  And it suggests that dinosaur extinction was what gave mammals the opportunity to occupy the large land animal niche.
 
2013-02-08 12:25:28 AM  
But what species did God evolve from, that's the real question. So far I haven't found any creationists who've been able to answer that one.
 
2013-02-08 12:26:24 AM  
...and then the good people at the National Institute of Mental Health helped rats evolve intelligence.
 
2013-02-08 12:31:12 AM  
Boy all the rats are gonna be real pissed when they hear this.
"They get to drive?  And all we get is moldy cheese?!  Thanks a BUNCH evolution!"
 
2013-02-08 12:32:34 AM  
Creationist:  I did not come from a monkey!
Scientist:  No, you and monkeys share a common ancestor.
Creationist:  I'm not a monkey!
Scientist:  No, you're a subspecies of ape.
Creationist:  Do I look like a chimpanzee?
Scientist:  Well, yeah, just with less hair and longer legs.
Creationist:  I am not a monkey's uncle!
Scientist:  Look, I'm trying to explain this-
Subby:  Hey!  We're descended from rats!
Creationist:  RAR
Scientist:  Goddamnit.
 
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