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(The Consumerist)   Vine's new age restriction notice relies on the honor system. And we all know that horny teenagers would NEVER lie to a computer   (consumerist.com) divider line 34
    More: Followup, vines, apple devices, parental controls  
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3495 clicks; posted to Geek » on 07 Feb 2013 at 11:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-07 09:36:27 AM
I love that porn sites don't even ask anymore. They just assume you're eighteen.
 
2013-02-07 09:38:35 AM
I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"
 
2013-02-07 11:25:38 AM
Or your parents could use the Parental Controls to lock out apps rated beyond a certain age restriction.

Either one.
 
2013-02-07 11:36:08 AM
I still lie about my age on the internet
 
2013-02-07 11:40:23 AM
Retinal scan gateways for every website! For the children...
 
2013-02-07 11:41:15 AM
Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?
 
2013-02-07 11:43:35 AM

BullBearMS: Or your parents could use the Parental Controls to lock out apps rated beyond a certain age restriction.

Either one.


But then they couldn't be their kids friend, too!
 
2013-02-07 12:01:35 PM
I wonder how Keek never had this problem.  I guess its a lot more low key?  Or better monitored.
 
2013-02-07 12:02:09 PM
Without the "u" in honour, I kept reading that as the Hodor system.

/HODOR!
//Hodor hooodor, ho-dor.
 
2013-02-07 12:06:39 PM
They should ask questions like-

How many times a day do you ejaculate? If more than 4 then they are under 18. If 1-3 then they are between 18-39. If 0 then you are 40 and up. You probably also groaned...stupid prostate.

Or, how long does it take you to masturbate to finish-

less than 2 minutes- under 18.
more than 2 minutes and less than 10- 18-39.
my hand and/or nether region goes numb first...over 40.
 
2013-02-07 12:38:06 PM

Public Call Box: Without the "u" in honour, I kept reading that as the Hodor system.

/HODOR!
//Hodor hooodor, ho-dor.


God-Hodor!.

SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"


Damn it, I'm old that I remember that.

/Never was able to play it as a kid because of those stupid questions
 
2013-02-07 12:44:09 PM
You mean like the Terms of Service on every website that exists?

Very few internet services require you to submit a birth certifict before you can access them.
 
2013-02-07 01:00:28 PM
That's cold comfort to parents, as kids are quite capable of lying about their age to a prompt.

Maybe the parents shouldn't have raised dishonest kids.

FullMetalPanda: Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?


Because coding simple loop structures to automatically allow the entry of every year from the 20th and 21st century that is less than the current year is a hell of a lot easier and more efficient than manually typing out every possible option?
 
2013-02-07 01:13:41 PM
German Sheizer?
www.empireonline.com
 
2013-02-07 01:23:30 PM

SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"


These days they'd just google the answers.
 
2013-02-07 01:35:43 PM

FullMetalPanda: Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?


I think a 113 y.o. have trouble snagging any tail.  Why do you want to restrict his access to porn?
 
2013-02-07 01:40:38 PM

FullMetalPanda: Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?


That just in case Lazarus Long wants to sign in.
 
2013-02-07 01:41:01 PM
Yep, and I never lied during drug/alcohol questionnaires given during high school either.  SCOUT'S HONOR
 
2013-02-07 01:43:07 PM
Thank you, Consumerist, for informing us of this OUTRAGE THAT MUST BE STOPPED!
 
2013-02-07 02:22:21 PM
What if they just labelled the adult content as "Certified Organic"?  I bet Consumerist would call off the Outrage Dogs®.  Hell, they'd probably praise it for being high quality, conflict free, and all natural.
 
2013-02-07 02:26:24 PM

Muta: I think a 113 y.o. have trouble snagging any tail. Why do you want to restrict his access to porn?


Ultra-porn.
 
2013-02-07 02:47:08 PM

HatMadeOfAss: What if they just labelled the adult content as "Certified Organic"?  I bet Consumerist would call off the Outrage Dogs®.  Hell, they'd probably praise it for being high quality, conflict free, and all natural.


How much porn qualifies for any of those descriptions, let alone all three?
 
2013-02-07 02:51:53 PM

FullMetalPanda: Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?


I was on a site the other day where the default year that populated was something like 8704,then when you used the pull down to choose a year, it went all the way back to 1800. Made no sense whatsoever...
 
2013-02-07 02:52:50 PM
Stupid mobile view. I just gave Consumerist a free farking page view.
 
2013-02-07 03:13:32 PM

FullMetalPanda: Concerning the age confirmation thing.... why do they let you enter 1900 as your birth year?


The  fifteenth through twenty-seventh oldest living people frown on your shenanigans, whippersnapper.

/this list may be outdated by the time I hit "add comment"
 
2013-02-07 03:38:48 PM
You mean I'm not 246?
 
2013-02-07 03:39:25 PM

Gaseous Anomaly: HatMadeOfAss: What if they just labelled the adult content as "Certified Organic"?  I bet Consumerist would call off the Outrage Dogs®.  Hell, they'd probably praise it for being high quality, conflict free, and all natural.

How much porn qualifies for any of those descriptions, let alone all three?


12% of it.  I've just finished my research.  I need a nap.
 
2013-02-07 04:05:12 PM

HatMadeOfAss: Gaseous Anomaly: HatMadeOfAss: What if they just labelled the adult content as "Certified Organic"?  I bet Consumerist would call off the Outrage Dogs®.  Hell, they'd probably praise it for being high quality, conflict free, and all natural.

How much porn qualifies for any of those descriptions, let alone all three?

12% of it.  I've just finished my research.  I need a nap.


I demand a recount!
 
2013-02-07 04:15:30 PM
[wontsomebodythingofthechildren.jpg]
 
2013-02-07 04:28:31 PM

SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"


What is social security?
 
2013-02-07 04:35:13 PM

SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"


Bah.  They had like, 'Who was John F. Kennedy's vice president'.   shiat adults didn't know.

Thanks for bringing this up, I always have to brag that my best friend and I won this in one night.  At 14.
 
2013-02-08 12:21:38 AM

Havokmon: SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"

Bah.  They had like, 'Who was John F. Kennedy's vice president'.   shiat adults didn't know.

Thanks for bringing this up, I always have to brag that my best friend and I won this in one night.  At 14.


Uh, that's not uncommon knowledge, for an adult in the 80s. The guy that sent boys off to die in Vietnam?
 
2013-02-08 07:01:11 AM

Fano: Havokmon: SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"

Bah.  They had like, 'Who was John F. Kennedy's vice president'.   shiat adults didn't know.

Thanks for bringing this up, I always have to brag that my best friend and I won this in one night.  At 14.

Uh, that's not uncommon knowledge, for an adult in the 80s. The guy that sent boys off to die in Vietnam?


Hey, Hey, *something something*, How many kids did you kill today?
 
2013-02-08 08:50:55 AM

BullBearMS: Fano: Havokmon: SnarfVader: I like the old Leisure Suit Larry way. Just ask some questions to which teenagers wouldn't know the answer. Like, "What's exercise?"

Bah.  They had like, 'Who was John F. Kennedy's vice president'.   shiat adults didn't know.

Thanks for bringing this up, I always have to brag that my best friend and I won this in one night.  At 14.

Uh, that's not uncommon knowledge, for an adult in the 80s. The guy that sent boys off to die in Vietnam?

Hey, Hey, *something something*, How many kids did you kill today?


Bah.  I knew that was a bad example - though I'm absolutely sure there was a Presidential question in there that I knew, my friends Vietnam Vet dad didn't know, and I probably couldn't recall now.
 
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