If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Tennessean)   "All he wants is for his former employer to give him a new W-2 without a Satanic number on it. Otherwise, he said, he can't file his taxes"   (tennessean.com) divider line 194
    More: Asinine, Walter Slonopas, Book of Revelation, born-again christian, Clarksville, wrong number, employees, Jewish Studies, Proctor & Gamble  
•       •       •

10206 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2013 at 3:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



194 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-02-07 03:56:48 AM

Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.


Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it
 
2013-02-07 03:58:19 AM

Confabulat: Mugato: I realize this isn't the point of the story but the 666 thing isn't even in the Bible, is it? That's what I heard anyway.

Sure it is. Revelation 13:15-18:

And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.16And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:17and that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.18Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number  is Six hundred threescore  and six.

You can think it's weird, but it's definitely in there.


I understand he's a half-wit loon and he can have another W-2 if it makes him happy.

What I don't get is why he thinks that this casual appearance of the number is damning. That Jesus is going to send him to hell for this. What in the Bible makes it a sin for him to use the W-2 he got?
 
2013-02-07 03:59:01 AM

zombat: Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.

Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it


So Satan lives in the metropolitan Cleveland area?
 
2013-02-07 03:59:34 AM
I wish I could learn some ancient languages to understand the Bible. There's simply no way the centuries of editing and butchering to fit into English can reflect the actual texts.

Although no matter what language it's in, Revelation is pretty batshiat crazy.
 
2013-02-07 04:00:40 AM
Born again retard.
 
2013-02-07 04:00:48 AM
yup, laugh at this guy while it's probable the tall building you work in doesn't have a 13th floor or you say 'God bless you" when someone sneezes. lighten up. his beliefs were beat into him long ago.

i've tried to read thick texts explaining how computers work. i can't imagine how people figured out the math to put people on the moon and get them back again. as far as i'm concerned it may as well be witchcraft, my puny brain is mystified by some things.
 
2013-02-07 04:02:11 AM

The My Little Pony Killer: What a smug douchebag might look like.


If he already was stamped with the number 666 doesn't that negate any of his trying to remove it?  Give it up smugman, you're in the clutches of Satan.
 
2013-02-07 04:02:21 AM

PandaPorn: Wasn't the number 666 (or 616) the numerological equivalent of the name of emperor Nero? Remembered for his fond love of christians :D Which he of course started displaying after his family got slaughter by the christian sect.


The problem with that is that while some would posit the numerical value of the letters (both Greek and Hebrew assign numerical values to the letters of their respective alphabets) can be held to spell out the name of the first Roman emperor to persecute Christians, Caesar Nero, who reigned 37-68 AD, the earliest commentators on Revelation state the text first appeared during the reign of the emperor Domitian (81- to 98 AD), nearly 30 years after the death of Nero.
 
2013-02-07 04:02:23 AM

KrispyKritter: KrispyKritter: i can't imagine how people figured out the math to put people on the moon and get them back again. as far as i'm concerned it may as well be witchcraft, my puny brain is mystified by some things.


You're ok with how magnets work though right?
 
2013-02-07 04:04:05 AM

zombat: Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.

Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it


I have it on very VERY good authority that the number of the beast is 10,314,424,798,490,535,546,171,949,056


 (66)6
 
2013-02-07 04:05:42 AM

Shadow Blasko: zombat: Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.

Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it

I have it on very VERY good authority that the number of the beast is 10,314,424,798,490,535,546,171,949,056


 (66)6


oh crap that's my PIN
 
2013-02-07 04:06:02 AM
Bible belt problems
 
2013-02-07 04:06:10 AM
"If my husband makes $10, one goes to God, two go to savings, and we live on seven," she said.


If you're not burning banknotes on an altar as a sacrifice then that money isn't going to God. Tithing to a church is actually giving money to a priest or minister to spend. Not the same.
 
2013-02-07 04:08:23 AM
Is his new number potato?
 
2013-02-07 04:09:06 AM
You asked for a number

One was given to you

Now you must live with it

/demonic haiku
 
2013-02-07 04:10:03 AM

Aulus: The problem with that is that while some would posit the numerical value of the letters (both Greek and Hebrew assign numerical values to the letters of their respective alphabets) can be held to spell out the name of the first Roman emperor to persecute Christians, Caesar Nero, who reigned 37-68 AD, the earliest commentators on Revelation state the text first appeared during the reign of the emperor Domitian (81- to 98 AD), nearly 30 years after the death of Nero.


That kind of makes it sound like numerology which is right up there with astrology on the irrational scale.
 
2013-02-07 04:11:38 AM

Aulus: PandaPorn: Wasn't the number 666 (or 616) the numerological equivalent of the name of emperor Nero? Remembered for his fond love of christians :D Which he of course started displaying after his family got slaughter by the christian sect.

The problem with that is that while some would posit the numerical value of the letters (both Greek and Hebrew assign numerical values to the letters of their respective alphabets) can be held to spell out the name of the first Roman emperor to persecute Christians, Caesar Nero, who reigned 37-68 AD, the earliest commentators on Revelation state the text first appeared during the reign of the emperor Domitian (81- to 98 AD), nearly 30 years after the death of Nero.


But where did it appear first? Couldn't it be possible that it started out as an oral tradition before that?
 
2013-02-07 04:11:54 AM
Embrace your miserable fate, you numerically challenged pylon! lol
 
2013-02-07 04:17:27 AM
Well we wouldn't want his yearly tribute to Mammon to have anything un-Christian on it, now would we?

Or maybe he should just shut up & render unto Caesar.
 
2013-02-07 04:18:59 AM
The Greek text:

[18] Ὧδε ἡ σοφία ἐστίν: ὁ ἔχων νοῦν ψηφισάτω τὸν ἀριθμὸν τοῦ θη ρίου, ἀριθμὸς γὰρ ἀνθρώπου ἐστίν: καὶ ὁ ἀριθμὸς αὐτοῦ ἑξακόσιοι ἑξήκοντα ἕξ. or  ἑξακόσιοι ἑκκαίδεκα . (666 or 616, repectively)
 
2013-02-07 04:19:59 AM

Confabulat: Shadow Blasko: zombat: Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.

Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it

I have it on very VERY good authority that the number of the beast is 10,314,424,798,490,535,546,171,949,056


 (66)6

oh crap that's my PIN


Many years ago I was in charge of door access permission at a pretty large company.

Whenever someone lost a badge I would set the temp code on their new badge (single use) to "moon" on the number pad.

It helped me quickly figure out who the superstitious nutjobs around me were

/did that for RSA tokens too.
 
2013-02-07 04:29:25 AM
Clearly, we should just go directly from 665 to 667. Like hotel floors going from 12 to 14 so psychos won't freak about being on the 13th floor.
 
2013-02-07 04:37:55 AM

Confabulat: When I was a kid, our phone number ended in -6668. My mom called and had it changed, much to my chagrin.


Ours ended with 007.
And I'm still suave and de-boner.
 
2013-02-07 04:38:02 AM
How stupidity is not one of the seven deadly sins, I'll never know.

In my eyes, wanting to be ignorant, and demanding everyone else do as you, should be the same as greed. So, burn, you heathen.
 
2013-02-07 04:39:17 AM
FTFA: "Walter Slonopas, 52, resigned as a maintenance worker at Contech Casting LLC in Clarksville after his W-2 tax form was stamped with the number 666.

The Bible calls 666 the "number of the beast," and it's often used as a symbol of the devil. Slonopas said that after getting the W-2, he could either go to work or go to hell."


So he had a choice of going to work or going to hell, and he chose not to go to work?

Eeeenteresting.

/that's some fine jurnalizming there, The Tennessean
 
2013-02-07 04:40:36 AM

Chinchillazilla: Clearly, we should just go directly from 665 to 667. Like hotel floors going from 12 to 14 so psychos won't freak about being on the 13th floor.


They should change anything with 666 on it to 29A.
 
2013-02-07 04:42:31 AM

puffy999: Chinchillazilla: Clearly, we should just go directly from 665 to 667. Like hotel floors going from 12 to 14 so psychos won't freak about being on the 13th floor.

They should change anything with 666 on it to 29A.


Or 1M0.
 
2013-02-07 04:45:50 AM

gweilo8888: The Bible calls 666 the "number of the beast," and it's often used as a symbol of the devil. Slonopas said that after getting the W-2, he could either go to work or go to hell."

So he had a choice of going to work or going to hell, and he chose not to go to work?


Nice catch.
In related news, Slonopas suing The Tennessean to strike his quote from their article after he realized he verbally made the choice to be eternally damned.
 
2013-02-07 04:47:42 AM
The Satanist who Satan promised 666 is disappointed in his 667.  Satan is a dick like that.
 
2013-02-07 04:48:38 AM
WHY MUST YOU CONTINUE TO BE SO GODDAMN STUPID, TENNESSEE!

WHY?!?

WHY MUST YOU REPRESENT THE RARE SANE TENNESSEEIAN IN SUCH A MANNER?!?
 
2013-02-07 04:58:39 AM

puffy999: Or 1M0.

Seriously, does Fark have a filter on Binary or did I just get trolled?
 
2013-02-07 05:04:20 AM

Bob Falfa: That is farking pathetic. He's either looking to get fired or somebody in payroll is messing with him.

At the rental car company where I used to work, I got an email from one of my managers asking if we could get rid of space #666. It took me several days to realize he was serious. No, I'm not re-striping the lot because some sad, pathetic customer didn't want the car from space #666. IT'S SATAN'S BUICK!!


Why didn't you just make it 665A?
 
2013-02-07 05:06:09 AM

erraticdragonfly: Yeah, that'll hold up in court. Must admit it is a little weird that it keeps coming up... maybe somebody at work is messing with him?


I know I would be if I worked with him.
 
2013-02-07 05:12:42 AM
Enjoy being unemployed, dipshiat.

Also, hail Satan!
 
2013-02-07 05:14:25 AM

Confabulat: You aren't missing much. Despite its reputation, it's not a very good book.


It's no Atlas Shrugged, that's for sure.
 
2013-02-07 05:14:43 AM

Confabulat: I wish I could learn some ancient languages to understand the Bible. There's simply no way the centuries of editing and butchering to fit into English can reflect the actual texts.

Although no matter what language it's in, Revelation is pretty batshiat crazy.


That's what happens when you find yourself wanted by the romans, flee to in a cave next to the sea, and the only survival skills you have is drinking seawater...
 
2013-02-07 05:18:31 AM

lar_m: As stupid as this is - many buildings don't have a thirteenth floor.  Just give the weird guy who does an OK job a different number and quit making news over it.  Hell - Peyton Manning stole a senile old dude's number in Denver while claiming sainthood - Now that is the devil's work!


That doesn't make this okay, that makes the problem of superstitious stupidity even worse.
 
2013-02-07 05:20:17 AM
I thought the Number of the Beast was 12345.

Oh wait, that's my luggage combination.
 
2013-02-07 05:20:40 AM
In 1925, HL Mencken wrote (about taking a train trip across the USA) "you couldn't throw an egg out of a Pullman car without hitting a fundamentalist."

seems like not much has changed
 
2013-02-07 05:26:45 AM

furterfan: In 1925, HL Mencken wrote (about taking a train trip across the USA) "you couldn't throw an egg out of a Pullman car without hitting a fundamentalist."

seems like not much has changed


They don't make pullman cars anymore
 
2013-02-07 05:28:10 AM
They keep hiring him back. Because they must corrupt him.

So orders CEO Sardo Numspa

media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-07 05:35:35 AM

thismomentinblackhistory: "$6.66?! Give me a pack of gum!"


I've been a register jockey at a grocery store for six and a half years now, and you would not farking  believe how often this happens.  And I'm not down in the Bible Belt, I'm in Portland, Oregon.
 
2013-02-07 05:42:05 AM

Couldn't decide, so...


img714.imageshack.us
i.imgur.com
img293.imageshack.us
i.imgur.com
img101.imageshack.us
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
img248.imageshack.us
i.imgur.com
www.allpetnews.com
i.imgur.com
www.cfmmusicscene.com

and

i369.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-07 05:44:51 AM
First World problems.
 
2013-02-07 05:49:58 AM

Confabulat: And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.16And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads:17and that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.18Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

You can think it's weird, but it's definitely in there.


Here's the part I don't get:  Positional notation didn't come along until centuries later.  So, "Six hundred threescore, and six" would not have worked out to three sixes back then--that particular quantity would not have had any special alliterative appeal or whatever.
 
2013-02-07 06:13:43 AM

Aulus: The whole thing is silly, especially when one finds out that some of the earliest MSS of Revelation have 616 instead of 666.


Just dropped in to make sure someone mentioned this. Good job!
 
2013-02-07 06:13:57 AM

thismomentinblackhistory: "$6.66?! Give me a pack of gum!"


I've had this reaction from customers before. Had one little old black lady get really upset. Of course, they were in a porn store so really I doubt the change amount was the biggest issue their god would have with them.
 
2013-02-07 06:16:36 AM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: zombat: Confabulat: ciberido: But there's more than one version/translation and they don't all give the same number.

Yeah i've heard 216 is the number based on "6 by 6 by 6" only once but i heard it/ read it

So Satan lives in the metropolitan Cleveland area?


Came to make witty remark regarding Cleveland sports and the obviousness of Satan living in Cleveland.
Now that i think about it though, i think trollface living there is more likely.
 
2013-02-07 06:18:38 AM

beerbaron: Confabulat: Mugato: . I've never picked up a Bible

You aren't missing much. Despite its reputation, it's not a very good book.

It has its faults, but it also has a lot worth paying attention to. It is only the fundamental document of western civilization!


I'm waiting for the movie.
 
2013-02-07 06:23:31 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Three Crooked Squirrels: I had a client who had three consecutive sixes in his Social Security number. He had his number officially changed. His new number contained three consecutive nines. I'm pretty sure someone at the Social Security Administration had a sense of humorous and was farking with him.

My Social Security number has five 6s, three of them in a row.

I HAVE SATAN'S SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER! :-D


I've got you beat, actually. My SSN has six sixes with four in a row. I get a lot of weird looks when I have to recite it to people. I'm pretty sure the nice older lady at the DMV is afraid of me.
 
Displayed 50 of 194 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report