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(Yahoo! health)   From the "we pulled this number out of our ass" association: Every alcoholic drink you have after the first one brings you 15 minutes closer to death   (health.yahoo.net) divider line 164
    More: Asinine, alcoholic drink  
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3997 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2013 at 1:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



164 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-02-06 09:19:46 PM
Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...
 
2013-02-06 09:22:54 PM
Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?
 
2013-02-06 09:35:51 PM
if i take 25 minutes per drink, and drink constantly when i'm awake, will i live forever? 'cause i'm goin there, baby. i'm goin there. to infinity and beyond!
 
2013-02-06 09:35:58 PM
Or, undeath in some cases.
 
2013-02-06 09:39:01 PM

Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...


Amatuer.
 
2013-02-06 10:36:29 PM
For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.
 
2013-02-06 10:38:35 PM
By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.
 
2013-02-06 10:51:48 PM

Godscrack: For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.


And those are the fifteen minutes where you really need a farking drink.
 
2013-02-06 11:52:15 PM
bottoms up
 
2013-02-06 11:55:28 PM

Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.


Like Bela Lugosi?
 
2013-02-06 11:56:21 PM
If there was anything to this, I would have been dead years ago.
 
2013-02-06 11:59:11 PM
This was true the first 15 minutes after birth.
 
2013-02-07 12:00:48 AM
So, David Crosby's a Highlander, then?
 
2013-02-07 12:18:03 AM
First one ever, OR first one of the day? This could be a matter of YEARS people!!!
 
2013-02-07 12:18:46 AM
Cheers!
 
2013-02-07 12:27:05 AM

DownDaRiver: By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.


You were going to live to 174. We were going to idolize you, canonize you, and just generally sodomize you after you lost your will to live.

Trust me...you're better off.
 
2013-02-07 01:15:11 AM
So for every alcoholic drink you DON'T have, do you get 15 more minutes of life? And if not, why doesn't it work that way?

HUH??
 
2013-02-07 01:18:04 AM
If that were true I'd have never made it out of my twenties.
 
2013-02-07 01:18:53 AM
everybody, pot's a better drug than alcohol, but you can't use it cause it's illegal!
 
2013-02-07 01:18:54 AM
According to that, I died 3 years ago.
 
2013-02-07 01:18:55 AM
Women in my family live to mid-to-late 90's. I have no interest in that, so apparently I need to start drinking.
 
2013-02-07 01:20:53 AM
95% of statistics are made up on the spot.
 
2013-02-07 01:21:53 AM
Seeing as I smoke and drink my un-shortened lifespan would be Methusula's.
 
2013-02-07 01:23:18 AM
What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?
 
2013-02-07 01:23:23 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-07 01:23:32 AM

Wanebo: Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...

Amatuer.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-07 01:23:50 AM
Any minute living is agony so I welcome this hopeful study.
 
2013-02-07 01:24:00 AM
After reading this, I really need a drink.
 
2013-02-07 01:24:44 AM
OK, check my math here.  They say that if you have only ONE drink, it adds 30 minutes to your life.
So if I have ONE drink on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday evenings, I've added 2.5 hours onto my life.  If on Friday, I have my first drink (adding my total up to 3 hours), I can then have 12 more drinks that evening without altering my baseline lifespan.  Right?
 
2013-02-07 01:25:27 AM
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

You all have a sickness..
 
2013-02-07 01:26:20 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-07 01:26:40 AM
I think that is a totally bullshiat claim.

/crawls back into his moss-covered crypt
 
2013-02-07 01:27:20 AM
Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.
Are you suggesting if she were sober she'd be 150?
 
2013-02-07 01:31:00 AM
If that were true, I would already be dead
 
2013-02-07 01:31:14 AM
Tomorrow is my Friday. I plan to celebrate by ending my life an hour early.
 
2013-02-07 01:31:23 AM

HortusMatris: 95% of quotes are made up on the spot.

 
2013-02-07 01:31:56 AM
If that were true, I'd have been dead before I was born.  (There was a period when I drank.  A lot.  For fun, not failure.  Those were some great years.)
 
2013-02-07 01:33:28 AM

HortusMatris: 95% of statistics are quoted innacurately.

 
2013-02-07 01:33:44 AM
I'd shove my Old Fashioned up this article's ass if that wouldn't short out my computer. And if that made any sense at all.
 
2013-02-07 01:34:12 AM

RodneyToady: Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.

Like Bela Lugosi?


No, Bela Lugosi's Dead.
 
2013-02-07 01:34:32 AM
Salsashark1

It's true. I'm already sick of your bullshiat and I don't even know you.
 
2013-02-07 01:37:02 AM

Jon iz teh kewl: everybody, pot's a better drug than alcohol, but you can't use it cause it's illegal!


Someone on my Facebook feed posted a picture of someone puking under the caption "Alcohol" and then a picture of  Steve Jobs and Carl Sagan under the caption "Pot."

At first I was a little skeptical, but then I remembered how every stoner I know is also a genius inventor billionaire.
 
2013-02-07 01:38:01 AM
This is just another adver-troll from Mens Health mag. Pretty standard stuff for them.

I guess sales of Abs Diet have been sagging as of late, so its a good time to scare people into another book sale.
s20.postimage.org
 
2013-02-07 01:38:16 AM

SpdrJay: What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?


Like that Nickleback song?
 
2013-02-07 01:39:48 AM
Sometimes Darwin works fast, sometimes he is slow.
 
2013-02-07 01:40:03 AM
I don't *feel* dead...
 
2013-02-07 01:40:21 AM
s: The we pulled this out of our ass association


WPTOOO Ass Assn.

\sounds onomatopoeic
 
2013-02-07 01:40:22 AM

zulius: Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.



How long did it take her to finish the 100? Couple hours?
 
2013-02-07 01:40:36 AM

salsashark1: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

You all have a sickness..


I call mine gigantic penis syndrome.  The only known cure is booze and sex
 
2013-02-07 01:43:35 AM
RIP Fellow Farkers
images.fineartamerica.com
 
2013-02-07 01:44:21 AM
Everything in moderation.
 
2013-02-07 01:45:04 AM
98.998er


I cried when Spock died too....
 
2013-02-07 01:45:22 AM
As a male who eats red meat, drinks heavily, smokes and watches a lot of TV I think this study is----ACK................
 
2013-02-07 01:46:08 AM

RodneyToady: Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.

Like Bela Lugosi?


Bela Lugosi's dead.

But the chorus is "undead, undead, undead" so now I'm confused.....
 
2013-02-07 01:49:40 AM
From the we pulled this out of our ass association.

topnews.in

President of the WPTOOOA Association
 
2013-02-07 01:49:49 AM
Keith Richards must be a highlander or something I guess
 
2013-02-07 01:50:13 AM
You mean I coulda been 200 years old if I hadn't drank as much as I have?
 
2013-02-07 01:52:03 AM
i172.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-07 01:53:15 AM
Drinking eases the pain of being alive
-likely stolen from charlie bukowski
 
2013-02-07 01:55:02 AM
I am pretty good with numbers, so I am planning my demise around October 12th, 1994.
 
2013-02-07 01:55:15 AM
"alcoholic" is the wrong word.

An "alcoholic" drink is something like burbon with a little coffee in it.

At thesaurus.com  they list "spritous" under "alcoholic"   I don't think either of those terms are correct... should probably be "spiritous"
 
2013-02-07 01:56:06 AM
Thank goodness, maybe I can down 1 a minute and get this over with!
 
2013-02-07 01:57:20 AM

Repsej: Thank goodness, maybe I can down 1 a minute and get this over with!


Shots only take a few seconds
 
2013-02-07 01:57:24 AM
old age is over rated. your friends are all dead, your health is gone, you're bitter because of being stuck in a wheelchair after a heart attack, seizures or a stroke. be happy and drink yourself into an early grave.
 
2013-02-07 01:57:41 AM
No one told me there was going to be math.

I'm too drunk for math.

Not drunk enought to quit writing an essay due probably two hours ago, but definitely too drunk for math.

Ha I originally wrote "for meth". No one is too drunk for meth. Do THAT math, Yahoo! health.
 
2013-02-07 02:00:32 AM
That's okay, those are the 15 I didn't want.
 
2013-02-07 02:01:12 AM
Hell, by that rationale I've probably lapped my own mortality.
 
2013-02-07 02:02:06 AM
I think I'm in fairly good shape for someone who should have died during the Clinton administration.
 
2013-02-07 02:14:17 AM

Strongbeerrules: I think I'm in fairly good shape for someone who should have died during the Clinton administration.


Vince Foster would like to talk to you when the time is right.
 
2013-02-07 02:14:38 AM
fakeplus.com
 
2013-02-07 02:16:25 AM
It's amazing the stuff you can pull out of your dash.

i.huffpost.com
 
2013-02-07 02:21:25 AM
Fifteen glorious minutes of debauchery. It was worth it.
 
2013-02-07 02:21:42 AM
Who cares, it takes 15 minutes off your life at the end of it.

I don't really have a problem shaving a few years off the senile, immobile, adult-diapers, kids biatching about what you're leaving them in your will phase.
 
2013-02-07 02:23:30 AM
As with everything else... "If you do that you will shorten your life!"

Yeah... We know. Everyone is just choosing how they want to die, so just leave us to slowly murder ourselves in peace.
 
2013-02-07 02:25:26 AM
So what? Everytime a bus hits me, gives me 15 seconds more excitement of flying before my life ends.
 
2013-02-07 02:25:52 AM
"Every alcoholic drink you have after the first one brings you 15 minutes closer to death"

I disagree.
Everyone knows that when the bourbon goes in
the pain has to go somewhere.

/I figure if I drink enough, I'll be pain free and live FOREVER!
 
2013-02-07 02:26:45 AM

DarkSoulNoHope: So what? Everytime a bus hits me, gives me 15 seconds more excitement of flying before my life ends.


Do you get hit by buses often?
How's that workin' out for ya?
 
2013-02-07 02:27:50 AM

Baz the Spaz: DarkSoulNoHope: So what? Everytime a bus hits me, gives me 15 seconds more excitement of flying before my life ends.

Do you get hit by buses often?
How's that workin' out for ya?


They for some reason stop before they get to me, weird. It's all about timing though. I'll get it right eventually.
 
2013-02-07 02:28:43 AM
Okay, so 4 drinks= -1 hour

4000 drinks=-1000 hours

That's only what, 50 days off your life? Less than 2 months?

and 40, 000 drinks, which would be insane, wouldn't even be 2 years?


It's all about moderation people. Don't binge the Fark out of your liver, don't drink and drive. Enjoy!
 
2013-02-07 02:31:51 AM
Easy disproval. Give a drink to someone on death row. If they die 15 minutes before their execution, okay.OTHERWISE BS.
 
2013-02-07 02:34:34 AM
I don't really want those last years. I say these old people who are sick and mind wandering and I never really want to be that.

Besides drinking and smoking and sex and gambling make these years more biatchin
 
2013-02-07 02:35:42 AM

octopied: Okay, so 4 drinks= -1 hour


The first three are free. 7 drinks = -1 hour. But yeah.
 
2013-02-07 02:36:44 AM

FlippityFlap: 98.998er


I cried when Spock died too....


I don't know if you're man or woman, beautiful or hideous, but I'm in love with you, in a non-creepy, non-stalkerous way.

/much more interesting than "this," don't you think?
 
2013-02-07 02:46:52 AM
It's funny watching drunks get butraged.
 
2013-02-07 02:48:53 AM

bingethinker: Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?


Living is the leading cause of death.

/Oh waitasecond.
//Shiat! Shouldn't have done that! Compromised my life a little bit.
 
2013-02-07 02:49:31 AM
I'm drunk right now
So I am really getting a kick out of these replies.
Sam f you guys are very good at makshg it sound like you knwno what you takling are about.
But trust but aha me.... You dont naw.
think you just want to amke yourself sound smart, when reality you dnt know what you talking about.
Thos is how bad info gers passed around If you dont know about
the topic
....Dont make urself sound like u dop.
Cuz sme Farkers belive anything thy hear.
 
2013-02-07 02:51:10 AM

XplodedSynapses: Living is the leading cause of death.


That's why I refuse to leave my mom's basement. She keeps telling me to go out and live my life, but I have other plans.
 
2013-02-07 02:51:34 AM

Godscrack: For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.


Where have you been? Or have i been in the wrong threads to see you?
 
2013-02-07 02:52:35 AM

LordOfThePings: XplodedSynapses: Living is the leading cause of death.

That's why I refuse to leave my mom's basement. She keeps telling me to go out and live my life, but I have other plans.


Living forever?

/Please tell me it can happen?
 
2013-02-07 02:53:47 AM

XplodedSynapses: LordOfThePings: XplodedSynapses: Living is the leading cause of death.

That's why I refuse to leave my mom's basement. She keeps telling me to go out and live my life, but I have other plans.

Living forever?


Or I'll die trying.
 
2013-02-07 02:54:50 AM

LordOfThePings: XplodedSynapses: LordOfThePings: XplodedSynapses: Living is the leading cause of death.

That's why I refuse to leave my mom's basement. She keeps telling me to go out and live my life, but I have other plans.

Living forever?

Or I'll die trying.


Me too.
 
2013-02-07 02:56:42 AM
Holds up a shot of Absolut and a chaser of Absolut. With a beer, of course.

/Cheers to all lovers of life!
//It ends.
///So be it!
 
2013-02-07 02:56:54 AM
There are 35,040 fifteen-minute periods in a 365 day year. At ten drinks a day, you'd shave off a year of life after 9.6 years of drinking.

By that math, binge-drinking every day for 38 years will only shorten your life by four years. That seems...conservative.
 
2013-02-07 02:58:38 AM
What happens if you die?
 
2013-02-07 02:58:52 AM

Albino Squid: There are 35,040 fifteen-minute periods in a 365 day year. At ten drinks a day, you'd shave off a year of life after 9.6 years of drinking.

By that math, binge-drinking every day for 38 years will only shorten your life by four years. That seems...conservative.

Not

reasonable?
 
2013-02-07 03:00:33 AM

pissjunkie: What happens if you die?


Ummm... everything but living?

/What happens when you cross rhinoceros with an elephant?
//Elephino!
 
2013-02-07 03:02:08 AM
It's not the drinking that will kill me, now it's the cirrhosis I was diagnosed with.
 
2013-02-07 03:03:01 AM
i've killed the thread. i am so sorry all.
 
2013-02-07 03:05:08 AM

XplodedSynapses: i've killed the thread. i am so sorry all.


Give the thread a carrot and an Irish coffee.
 
2013-02-07 03:07:38 AM

Badafuco: It's not the drinking that will kill me, now it's the cirrhosis I was diagnosed with.


Read your profile.
i am so sorry brotha'. No one deserves that malady at such a young age. i hope you get to a place that you find peace. Whether it's without a transplant or with one.
 
2013-02-07 03:07:51 AM
/Lies.
//Damn lies.
///Statistics.
 
2013-02-07 03:15:09 AM

LordOfThePings: XplodedSynapses: i've killed the thread. i am so sorry all.

Give the thread a carrot and an Irish coffee.


Strangely, after making light of drinking, i'd rather give Badafuco my liver.
 
2013-02-07 03:20:07 AM
i think it still works. And if it's compatible, why not? i know we both can survive with a halved liver. i offer mine to you. Take a piece. i have abused most of it, but it's been fairly diligent and strong. Take the best of it, i really never deserved it anyway.

EIP.

/i don't need to drink anymore anyways.
//Seriously.
 
2013-02-07 03:21:01 AM

apoptotic: Women in my family live to mid-to-late 90's. I have no interest in that, so apparently I need to start drinking.


Same situation, way ahead of you. 65-70 is good assuming I can finish a couple of novels before then. That's what I really need to start working on seriously...
 
2013-02-07 03:30:53 AM
If this were true Churchill would have lived to be about 900.
 
2013-02-07 03:31:07 AM
Didn't any one read the article about chronic smokers' lungs being implanted in non-smokers and that the implantees' life expectancy was EXACTLY the same as those who received non-smoker lungs?

I recall it being stated that ONLY 20% of the chronic smokers actually having lung damage. ("only" I know)

The vast majority of smokers apparently suffered only congestion of the lungs as a result of their habit.

With the boozers, such as myself, could one argue that the "You're destroying your liver" argument be deemed false as well?

-I want my 3D-printed liver replacement ASAP then.
 
2013-02-07 03:31:23 AM
Damn. Maybe i should have named myself Threadkiller?
 
2013-02-07 04:04:06 AM

XplodedSynapses: Damn. Maybe i should have named myself Threadkiller?


I like "Larson the Pretard"
 
2013-02-07 04:08:38 AM

Mitch Mitchell: XplodedSynapses: Damn. Maybe i should have named myself Threadkiller?

I like "Larson the Pretard"


Interesting choice Double M.
 
2013-02-07 04:43:13 AM

Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...


See, I thought I was clever for coming up with this, and there it is in the thread twice in the first three posts.

Go figure.
 
2013-02-07 04:53:48 AM
Clearly, I can retire.
 
2013-02-07 04:57:46 AM
If this is true, then I died 3 years ago.
 
2013-02-07 04:59:03 AM
It doesn't mention how much time is taken off from being married.
 
2013-02-07 05:42:28 AM

HortusMatris: 95% of statistics are made up on the spot.


84% of people know that

i used to drink a LOT in college, it was like my major i should be dead by this logic
 
2013-02-07 05:49:05 AM
wow... I'm Scottish, if that's the case I should be dead in about...... 30mins  someone please call the mortuary and tell them their's a highly flammable corpse on the way!
 
2013-02-07 05:50:58 AM

Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...


if it takes you 15minutes to finish a drink, you sir are not drinking properly!

Come to Scotland for some real tuition on how to drink
 
2013-02-07 05:55:11 AM

LordOfThePings: octopied: Okay, so 4 drinks= -1 hour

The first three are free. 7 drinks = -1 hour. But yeah.


What bar is this, best I ever get is BOGO
 
2013-02-07 06:14:59 AM

ciberido: SpdrJay: What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?

Like that Nickleback song?


"The Uploader has not made this video available in your country".

He's doing me a favor here.
 
2013-02-07 06:16:03 AM
I'm feeling much better...I think I'll go for a walk
 
2013-02-07 06:51:25 AM

L.D. Ablo: If there was anything to this, I would have been dead years ago.


Or you were supposed to live to be 135.
 
2013-02-07 07:11:10 AM

some_beer_drinker: bottoms up


"After the first one, which increases your lifespan by 30 minutes, every alcoholic drink that you down today brings you 15 minutes closer to death."

So my four-drink usual nets me a 15 minute loss. Dammit, it's time to pick up the pace. Maybe I'll switch to really cheap vodka. Except that tastes so foul I'll have to mix it with orange or grapefruit juice (because  booze with soft drinks makes me sick and I drink to feel better), and the extra vitamin C will lengthen my life AND cure cancer. Unless I move to Las Vegas, is that how it works? Oh hell, now I'm all confused. And I won't be allowed to drink for 11 more hours, because drinking all day would increase my tolerance so I'd have to spend more & more money for the same effect. It's a QUANDARY. I wish you'd never brought it up.
 
2013-02-07 07:12:16 AM
Don't you get it?  We ARE the walking dead!
 
2013-02-07 07:44:20 AM
Every alcoholic drink you have after the first one brings you 15 minutes closer to death

But is the sun the same, in a relative way?
 
2013-02-07 07:55:47 AM
Statistically speaking alcohol intake IS a better predictor of morbidity and mortality than smoking cigarettes. I don't care if you drink, just don't crash your car into something I care about is all I ask.
 
2013-02-07 08:01:50 AM
media.screened.com

When?
 
2013-02-07 08:05:37 AM
There is an important piece of info that I need here, and that is what my baseline age is for dying.  If I was slated to live to 110, then I won't worry about a few extra drinks that may move my death back to, say, 90.  However, if I was only scheduled to live to 70, I may want to start doing things to move that date up to at least 90 or so.

Can't do much without that important number.
 
2013-02-07 08:10:10 AM
Also, aren't these exponential factors as well?

Example -

1 drink, add 30 minutes
2 drinks, back to +15 minutes
3 drinks - zero point
4 drinks - begin subtracting minutes
etc - by the time you reach, say, 20 drinks, I would think the average person has moved the end of their life back to sometime in the next couple hours.

Same holds true for exercise and eating increasing amounts of meat at one sitting.
 
2013-02-07 08:16:07 AM
The chart indicates that I should have died 15 years ago.
 
2013-02-07 08:29:34 AM
Clearly there are a lot of zombies on Fark.
 
2013-02-07 08:48:23 AM
Yippe! Another pointless study. The fact is, we are all slowing marching towards death, it is what we were born for. People that run around in a constant state of worry or sickness and death are in fact already dead!

/Hope I do not get killed in a car accident today on my way to my wonderful job!
//Farkin idiots......
 
2013-02-07 08:48:39 AM

MrHappyRotter: Clearly there are a lot of zombies on Fark.


::waving::
 
2013-02-07 08:49:28 AM

bingethinker: Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?


Ha!! No it doesn't! I'm married, I'm already dead....Joke's on you sucka.
 
2013-02-07 08:51:37 AM

HortusMatris: 95% of statistics are made up on the spot.


But only 50% of the time....
 
2013-02-07 09:03:41 AM
Well i suppose if you're driving at the time...
 
2013-02-07 09:11:01 AM
LIved to 88: Imagine how old he might have been if he HADN'T consumed a quart of brandy a day.

jpetrie.myweb.uga.edu
 
2013-02-07 09:18:28 AM
So, I only have 20 minutes to live? I'd better go have one for the road.
 
2013-02-07 09:24:13 AM
Every minute you read tripe like this brings you a whole minute closer to death.
 
2013-02-07 09:39:04 AM
So, apparently I died somewhere around 1998 then.

Good to know.  Now I can get some sleep.
 
2013-02-07 09:56:12 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: ciberido: SpdrJay: What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?

Like that Nickleback song?

"The Uploader has not made this video available in your country".

He's doing me a favor here.


Hey, at least I WARNED you that it was a Nickleback song.   I'm never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
 
2013-02-07 09:57:27 AM
This is why I always refuse the first drink.

/loophole biatches
 
2013-02-07 10:03:57 AM

Zerocyde: It's funny watching drunks get butraged.


I'm pretty sure that's the title of a porno movie.
 
2013-02-07 10:06:30 AM
Either my original life expectancy was 150 or I am living proof this is wrong.

/I like red meat and alcohol
 
2013-02-07 10:16:45 AM
Holy crap....*does a bunch of math*... that means I died when I was 23. RIP Ow!, I hardly knew ya!
 
2013-02-07 10:32:57 AM
okay, by this formula I've been drinking for 16 years so thats... uh... at least 10 drinks a night.... but sometimes more uh.... times.....uh....365 days in a year......then the 15 minutes thing....so ....uhhh.....Oh screw it. I'd rather have another beer than try to figure this out. And a shot.
 
2013-02-07 10:37:27 AM

JPenman: I don't *feel* dead...


That's why I drink too ...
 
2013-02-07 10:42:25 AM
Going by the math in that article, I probably died several years ago.
 
2013-02-07 12:33:12 PM

Pumpernickel bread: If that were true, I would already be dead


Based on the fact that I died several months back, I think it is true.
 
2013-02-07 02:35:44 PM

bingethinker: Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?


mind = blown
 
2013-02-07 02:42:53 PM
If these numbers are true, I died three years ago.
 
2013-02-07 03:10:33 PM
Solution: Get a bigger first drink and only drink 1
 
2013-02-07 04:44:51 PM

DownDaRiver: By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.


I cried for you, man....just stop it, ok??  I can't take it anymore.   *gulps another 15 minutes of life*
 
2013-02-07 04:52:12 PM
R.I.P Farker Olddinosaur
1947---1832

obvious?
 
2013-02-07 04:59:27 PM
So,  if I drank 10 drinks every day for 10 years...  that means (If my math is correct) I'd only be down about 266 days.  That doesn't seem so bad.
 
2013-02-07 09:45:21 PM
I'm down half an hour already today. A delicious, hoppy, then stouty half hour.
 
2013-02-07 09:57:53 PM

ladyfortuna: I'm down half an hour already today. A delicious, hoppy, then stouty half hour.


A fine cream ale (Cameron's) is helping me keep up.  If you are a fan of beer, that site may be the only internet thing you do for the rest of the night...
 
2013-02-07 10:00:54 PM
:D - I have a login. My budget is limiting me mostly to Saranac these days though (hey, at least I'm helping the NY economy!)
 
2013-02-07 10:12:11 PM

ladyfortuna: Saranac


Not familiar,  but it's only the other side of the lake... And new nearish brewery's are an awesome road trip excuse...
 
2013-02-07 11:44:51 PM

sno man: ladyfortuna: Saranac

Not familiar,  but it's only the other side of the lake... And new nearish brewery's are an awesome road trip excuse...


http://www.saranac.com/  - Utica, NY. They make a lot of different things; there's better craft beer out there of course, but the price is right for a lot of what they do. If you can find the Big Moose Ale still, it's one of my favorites.
 
2013-02-08 02:32:28 AM
Who takes 15 minutes to finish a drink?

Tagline makes no sense.
 
2013-02-08 04:25:14 AM

Wretschko: Didn't any one read the article about chronic smokers' lungs being implanted in non-smokers and that the implantees' life expectancy was EXACTLY the same as those who received non-smoker lungs?

I recall it being stated that ONLY 20% of the chronic smokers actually having lung damage. ("only" I know)

The vast majority of smokers apparently suffered only congestion of the lungs as a result of their habit.

With the boozers, such as myself, could one argue that the "You're destroying your liver" argument be deemed false as well?

-I want my 3D-printed liver replacement ASAP then.


i've printed a Windows(R) test print before, but what's a test print on a 3D printer?
 
2013-02-08 07:06:58 AM

ladyfortuna: sno man: ladyfortuna: Saranac

Not familiar,  but it's only the other side of the lake... And new nearish brewery's are an awesome road trip excuse...

http://www.saranac.com/  - Utica, NY. They make a lot of different things; there's better craft beer out there of course, but the price is right for a lot of what they do. If you can find the Big Moose Ale still, it's one of my favorites.


cool, thx...
I've been plotting an around Lake Ontario Brewery tour for this summer.  I'll have to add that stop.
 
2013-02-08 12:50:30 PM

sno man: ladyfortuna: sno man: ladyfortuna: Saranac

Not familiar,  but it's only the other side of the lake... And new nearish brewery's are an awesome road trip excuse...

http://www.saranac.com/  - Utica, NY. They make a lot of different things; there's better craft beer out there of course, but the price is right for a lot of what they do. If you can find the Big Moose Ale still, it's one of my favorites.

cool, thx...
I've been plotting an around Lake Ontario Brewery tour for this summer.  I'll have to add that stop.


Don't forget Ommegang in Cooperstown! I've driven past it like four times but Lordfortuna never lets me stop and take the tour :( (something about 'we have to get to the family event by such and such hour', I dunno what he's on about).
 
2013-02-08 03:23:42 PM
Get a room, you two.
 
2013-02-08 08:49:57 PM
And The Doctor thinks he's old?

Amateur.
 
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