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(Yahoo! health)   From the "we pulled this number out of our ass" association: Every alcoholic drink you have after the first one brings you 15 minutes closer to death   (health.yahoo.net) divider line 164
    More: Asinine, alcoholic drink  
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4000 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Feb 2013 at 1:13 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 09:19:46 PM  
Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...
 
2013-02-06 09:22:54 PM  
Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?
 
2013-02-06 09:35:51 PM  
if i take 25 minutes per drink, and drink constantly when i'm awake, will i live forever? 'cause i'm goin there, baby. i'm goin there. to infinity and beyond!
 
2013-02-06 09:35:58 PM  
Or, undeath in some cases.
 
2013-02-06 09:39:01 PM  

Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...


Amatuer.
 
2013-02-06 10:36:29 PM  
For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.
 
2013-02-06 10:38:35 PM  
By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.
 
2013-02-06 10:51:48 PM  

Godscrack: For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.


And those are the fifteen minutes where you really need a farking drink.
 
2013-02-06 11:52:15 PM  
bottoms up
 
2013-02-06 11:55:28 PM  

Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.


Like Bela Lugosi?
 
2013-02-06 11:56:21 PM  
If there was anything to this, I would have been dead years ago.
 
2013-02-06 11:59:11 PM  
This was true the first 15 minutes after birth.
 
2013-02-07 12:00:48 AM  
So, David Crosby's a Highlander, then?
 
2013-02-07 12:18:03 AM  
First one ever, OR first one of the day? This could be a matter of YEARS people!!!
 
2013-02-07 12:18:46 AM  
Cheers!
 
2013-02-07 12:27:05 AM  

DownDaRiver: By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.


You were going to live to 174. We were going to idolize you, canonize you, and just generally sodomize you after you lost your will to live.

Trust me...you're better off.
 
2013-02-07 01:15:11 AM  
So for every alcoholic drink you DON'T have, do you get 15 more minutes of life? And if not, why doesn't it work that way?

HUH??
 
2013-02-07 01:18:04 AM  
If that were true I'd have never made it out of my twenties.
 
2013-02-07 01:18:53 AM  
everybody, pot's a better drug than alcohol, but you can't use it cause it's illegal!
 
2013-02-07 01:18:54 AM  
According to that, I died 3 years ago.
 
2013-02-07 01:18:55 AM  
Women in my family live to mid-to-late 90's. I have no interest in that, so apparently I need to start drinking.
 
2013-02-07 01:20:53 AM  
95% of statistics are made up on the spot.
 
2013-02-07 01:21:53 AM  
Seeing as I smoke and drink my un-shortened lifespan would be Methusula's.
 
2013-02-07 01:23:18 AM  
What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?
 
2013-02-07 01:23:23 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-07 01:23:32 AM  

Wanebo: Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...

Amatuer.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-07 01:23:50 AM  
Any minute living is agony so I welcome this hopeful study.
 
2013-02-07 01:24:00 AM  
After reading this, I really need a drink.
 
2013-02-07 01:24:44 AM  
OK, check my math here.  They say that if you have only ONE drink, it adds 30 minutes to your life.
So if I have ONE drink on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday evenings, I've added 2.5 hours onto my life.  If on Friday, I have my first drink (adding my total up to 3 hours), I can then have 12 more drinks that evening without altering my baseline lifespan.  Right?
 
2013-02-07 01:25:27 AM  
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

You all have a sickness..
 
2013-02-07 01:26:20 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-07 01:26:40 AM  
I think that is a totally bullshiat claim.

/crawls back into his moss-covered crypt
 
2013-02-07 01:27:20 AM  
Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.
Are you suggesting if she were sober she'd be 150?
 
2013-02-07 01:31:00 AM  
If that were true, I would already be dead
 
2013-02-07 01:31:14 AM  
Tomorrow is my Friday. I plan to celebrate by ending my life an hour early.
 
2013-02-07 01:31:23 AM  

HortusMatris: 95% of quotes are made up on the spot.

 
2013-02-07 01:31:56 AM  
If that were true, I'd have been dead before I was born.  (There was a period when I drank.  A lot.  For fun, not failure.  Those were some great years.)
 
2013-02-07 01:33:28 AM  

HortusMatris: 95% of statistics are quoted innacurately.

 
2013-02-07 01:33:44 AM  
I'd shove my Old Fashioned up this article's ass if that wouldn't short out my computer. And if that made any sense at all.
 
2013-02-07 01:34:12 AM  

RodneyToady: Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.

Like Bela Lugosi?


No, Bela Lugosi's Dead.
 
2013-02-07 01:34:32 AM  
Salsashark1

It's true. I'm already sick of your bullshiat and I don't even know you.
 
2013-02-07 01:37:02 AM  

Jon iz teh kewl: everybody, pot's a better drug than alcohol, but you can't use it cause it's illegal!


Someone on my Facebook feed posted a picture of someone puking under the caption "Alcohol" and then a picture of  Steve Jobs and Carl Sagan under the caption "Pot."

At first I was a little skeptical, but then I remembered how every stoner I know is also a genius inventor billionaire.
 
2013-02-07 01:38:01 AM  
This is just another adver-troll from Mens Health mag. Pretty standard stuff for them.

I guess sales of Abs Diet have been sagging as of late, so its a good time to scare people into another book sale.
s20.postimage.org
 
2013-02-07 01:38:16 AM  

SpdrJay: What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?


Like that Nickleback song?
 
2013-02-07 01:39:48 AM  
Sometimes Darwin works fast, sometimes he is slow.
 
2013-02-07 01:40:03 AM  
I don't *feel* dead...
 
2013-02-07 01:40:21 AM  
s: The we pulled this out of our ass association


WPTOOO Ass Assn.

\sounds onomatopoeic
 
2013-02-07 01:40:22 AM  

zulius: Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.



How long did it take her to finish the 100? Couple hours?
 
2013-02-07 01:40:36 AM  

salsashark1: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

You all have a sickness..


I call mine gigantic penis syndrome.  The only known cure is booze and sex
 
2013-02-07 01:43:35 AM  
RIP Fellow Farkers
images.fineartamerica.com
 
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