Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...

Did you know that every day you live brings you 24 hours closer to death?

Sgygus: Well, it does take about fifteen minutes to finish off an alcoholic drink, so ...

Amatuer.

For every drink you want, but don't have, get's you 15 minutes added to life.

bottoms up

Vodka Zombie: Or, undeath in some cases.

Like Bela Lugosi?

If there was anything to this, I would have been dead years ago.

This was true the first 15 minutes after birth.

First one ever, OR first one of the day? This could be a matter of YEARS people!!!

Cheers!

DownDaRiver: By that logic I shouldn't have lived long enough to have my heart broken by the most wonderful woman a man could ever love.

Which of course caused me to drink even more, so there's no way in hell I should have made it this far.

You were going to live to 174. We were going to idolize you, canonize you, and just generally sodomize you after you lost your will to live.

Trust me...you're better off.

So for every alcoholic drink you DON'T have, do you get 15 more minutes of life? And if not, why doesn't it work that way?

HUH??

According to that, I died 3 years ago.

What if you are 14 minutes from death when you have the 15-minute second drink?

Some kinda time travel or singularity thing?

OK, check my math here.  They say that if you have only ONE drink, it adds 30 minutes to your life.
So if I have ONE drink on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday evenings, I've added 2.5 hours onto my life.  If on Friday, I have my first drink (adding my total up to 3 hours), I can then have 12 more drinks that evening without altering my baseline lifespan.  Right?

Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.
Are you suggesting if she were sober she'd be 150?

Tomorrow is my Friday. I plan to celebrate by ending my life an hour early.

HortusMatris: 95% of quotes are made up on the spot.

Jon iz teh kewl: everybody, pot's a better drug than alcohol, but you can't use it cause it's illegal!

Someone on my Facebook feed posted a picture of someone puking under the caption "Alcohol" and then a picture of  Steve Jobs and Carl Sagan under the caption "Pot."

At first I was a little skeptical, but then I remembered how every stoner I know is also a genius inventor billionaire.

This is just another adver-troll from Mens Health mag. Pretty standard stuff for them.

I guess sales of Abs Diet have been sagging as of late, so its a good time to scare people into another book sale.

zulius: Tell that to my Grandmother who drank Michelob until she died at 100.


How long did it take her to finish the 100? Couple hours?

salsashark1: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

You all have a sickness..

I call mine gigantic penis syndrome.  The only known cure is booze and sex