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(Popular Science)   Did your mother make you eat your vegetables when you were young? She was probably trying to kill you   (popsci.com) divider line 88
    More: Scary, Leaf vegetable, cookie dough, vegetables, norovirus  
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14419 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 5:36 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 05:37:06 PM
There's a picture of leafy greens in the article just in case you were curious what murderers look like.
 
2013-02-06 05:37:27 PM
Homemade cream of leek soup seemed like a murder attempt at the time.
 
2013-02-06 05:40:01 PM
wwwnc.cdc.gov
 
2013-02-06 05:43:43 PM
greengiant.com

DIE, biatchES!!!
 
2013-02-06 05:46:13 PM
I KNEW IT!
 
2013-02-06 05:47:17 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
I was always one step ahead of her!
 
2013-02-06 05:49:25 PM
Leafy greens are one of the few organic foods we have left. All the bacteria on the over-processed food die of diabetes before they can make us sick
 
2013-02-06 05:49:52 PM
This is why I need to arm myself. I don't want to get kaled.
 
2013-02-06 05:50:49 PM
No she didn't make me eat vegetables. She just handcuffed me to a pole in the basement.
 
2013-02-06 05:52:07 PM

Ed Willy: Leafy greens are one of the few organic foods we have left. All the bacteria on the over-processed food die of diabetes before they can make us sick


Ain't nothing like a big pile of collard greens fried up with spices and smothered in Miracle Whip.
 
2013-02-06 05:55:02 PM
I guarantee I can kill even a huge salad a lot faster than it can kill me. I actually had a giant salad for breakfast this morning. Earthbound Farms Organic Mixed Baby Greens with cubed, roasted chicken breast, dried cranberries, toasted, slivered almonds, very lightly steamed broccoli and also lightly steamed carrot with a homemade (read: I made it up as I made it) cranberry/apple vinaigrette. I got a little carried away, so shared it with my sis. I think she shared hers with one of her boyfriends. Like I said, I got a little carried away when making it, cuz that thing was HUGE.
 
2013-02-06 05:55:14 PM
Old and busted -- lifting a comment from the article to use as a headline on Fark.

New and improved -- using bugmenot to post the headline from Fark to the comments section.
 
2013-02-06 06:00:49 PM
trakt.us
 
2013-02-06 06:01:52 PM
Wash your veggies, people.
 
2013-02-06 06:06:32 PM

stainedglassdoll: Wash your veggies, people.


seperate the leaves is one of the big things.Many people try to wash an entire head of lettuce still in it's origional form.Bad idea.
 
2013-02-06 06:06:46 PM
I suppose that these sorts of things are the reason that i always thought that cauliflower is just there to make the broccoli look good.
 
2013-02-06 06:09:52 PM
contaminants lurking on leafy greens are noroviruses--the bugs that cause what most of us call the "stomach flu"--deposited by food handlers

Noroviruses are a genetically diverse group of single-stranded RNA, non-enveloped viruses in the Caliciviridae family.[1] The viruses are transmitted by fecally-contaminated food or water;



so, we can blame migrant workers for not washing their hands after making poo-poo ?

texasgopvote.com
 
2013-02-06 06:10:29 PM
AWWWW BIG BOWL OF SAUERKRAUT
EVERY SINGLE MORNING
It was driving me crazy.
I said to my mom
I said "Hey, mom, what's with all the sauerkraut?"
And my dear, sweet mother
She just looked at my like a cow looks at an oncoming train
And she leaned right down next to me
And she said "IT'S GOOD FOR YOU"
And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty six and a half years old
 
2013-02-06 06:12:36 PM
But before you throw caution to the wind and sit down with a big bowl of raw cookie dough and your favorite chicken tartare, beware: tainted greens may make you sick, but poultry is still more likely to kill you.
 
2013-02-06 06:12:42 PM
Using gray water for irrigation helps with constipation.
 
2013-02-06 06:18:32 PM
NEWSFLASH: Low paid workers are penalized for taking bathroom breaks so they poop in the fields.
 
2013-02-06 06:19:12 PM
voices.washingtonpost.com
 
2013-02-06 06:19:41 PM
Anal sex and broccoli have a lot in common... If you were forced to have either as a child you will probably hate them as an adult...
 
2013-02-06 06:20:22 PM

Horsebolt McStabledoor: contaminants lurking on leafy greens are noroviruses--the bugs that cause what most of us call the "stomach flu"--deposited by food handlers

Noroviruses are a genetically diverse group of single-stranded RNA, non-enveloped viruses in the Caliciviridae family.[1] The viruses are transmitted by fecally-contaminated food or water;


so, we can blame migrant workers for not washing their hands after making poo-poo ?

[texasgopvote.com image 468x236]


Farmers are busted from time to time out here for not providing even things like drinking water or toilet facilities during harvests, so it's not that they're not washing their hands, they're making poo-poo in the fields AND not washing their hands because they don't really have any other choice. Sadly, the offending farmer or farm supervisor is not always busted right away by the inspectors and one of the workers has to die of heat stroke, before it brings attention back to the problem - and to the farm where it happened. They'll sometimes even find the workers are camping nearby as they are not paid enough to afford a place to stay, whether they are legal or not.

It's a bad situation and an ongoing problem in some parts of Cali, despite the laws we have in place to protect such workers.
 
2013-02-06 06:22:09 PM
shiat, i eat lots of lettuce, lots of poultry and drink lots of milk... i'm doomed!111
 
2013-02-06 06:24:15 PM
Dear idiots, wash your fresh vegetables. Is that really so hard?
 
2013-02-06 06:24:19 PM
I always knew my mother was a psycho
 
2013-02-06 06:30:44 PM
As occassional bout of the shiats probably is less likely to kill you than coronary disease.

Or you could, you know, wash your veggies.
 
2013-02-06 06:31:14 PM
I get my grains from beer and vegetables from vodka.
 
2013-02-06 06:31:57 PM
But but but.... pink slime!
 
2013-02-06 06:35:28 PM
On a diet.  My favorite new snack food is roasted kale chips.  One pound of kale, 2 tbsp olive oil, 2 tbsp fish sauce, garlic powder to taste.  Roast at 250 for 45 minutes; flip and roast 45 more minutes (your oven may vary; my chips burn at 275, even at shorter times).  Takes care of the salty, crunchy cravings.

Might also kill the bacteria.  I don't know; it's an oven, not an autoclave.
 
2013-02-06 06:35:29 PM
Sure, my leafy greens are killing me, meanwhile in reality, Heart Disease is the #1 killer in America, wonder what causes that?
 
2013-02-06 06:37:00 PM
I thought this is pretty common knowledge. Spinach is one of the healthiest things you can eat and also seems to be the cause of every other case of mass e. coli. As poster a few above me said...just wash your veggies. Or we could really switch to an all beef jerky diet, which would be amazing.
 
2013-02-06 06:38:55 PM

Lusebagage: Sure, my leafy greens are killing me, meanwhile in reality, Heart Disease is the #1 killer in America, wonder what causes that?


Not drinking enough soda.
 
2013-02-06 06:39:58 PM

Lusebagage: Sure, my leafy greens are killing me, meanwhile in reality, Heart Disease is the #1 killer in America, wonder what causes that?


Genetics?
 
2013-02-06 06:40:30 PM
I'm no grammar nazi, but FFS submitters check your headlines! It seems like every other headline today is screwed up.
 
2013-02-06 06:43:41 PM
I'm a farmer and I can tell you that nothing is wrong with the veggies. What is wrong is the individuals who are too cheap to have these for their field hands(see below), those who spray their fields with the midnight oil (seriously gross) and some who spray livestock manure in the fields when the crops are alreadymatured.

/No I'm not kidding.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-06 06:51:28 PM
Oh, she was definitely trying to kill us. She made us eat meat, fish, poultry, dairy food, vegetables, fruit, and God help us, tapioca pudding.

Have you seen tapioca pudding? I don't know what speces of salamander lays those eggs, but they're nasty.

Fortunately, I have a theory tha Gresham's Law (bad money drives out good) is really just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, and that Gresham's Law is one of the fundamental principles of the Universe. For example, in nutrition it is clearly true that "Junk food drives out wholesome food", so naturally I now de-tox myself by living entirely on things my Mother told me aren't good for me and only eat things that are considered good for me as occasional snacks.

Take rice pudding! Please!

It's just as sad ersatz of tapioca pudding, which, as you know is poison salamander eggs from the Amazon River basin.


Rice PuddingBy A.A. Milne

What is the matter with Mary Jane?She's crying with all her might and main,And she won't eat her dinner-rice pudding again-What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?I've promised her dolls and a daisy-chain,And a book about animals-all in vain-What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?She's perfectly well, and she hasn't a pain;But, look at her, now she's beginning again!What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?I've promised her sweets and a ride in the train,And I've begged her to stop for a bit and explain-What is the matter with Mary Jane?What is the matter with Mary Jane?She's perfectly well, and she hasn't a pain,And it's lovely rice pudding for dinner again!-What is the matter with Mary Jane?
A. A. Milne, "Rice Pudding" from The Complete Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh. Copyright © The Trustees of the Pooh Properties reproduced with permission of Curtis Brown Limited, London.

Source: The Complete Poems of Winnie-the-Pooh (Dutton, 1998)
Link:  http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/241530#poem

I'm with the little girl in the cartoon who cries out:  And I say it's spinach, and I say to Hell with it!

Marge: But I thought broccoli was...
Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on Earth! Why, it tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.


I could write a book on the subject.
 
2013-02-06 06:53:38 PM

born_yesterday: On a diet.  My favorite new snack food is roasted kale chips.  One pound of kale, 2 tbsp olive oil, 2 tbsp fish sauce, garlic powder to taste.  Roast at 250 for 45 minutes; flip and roast 45 more minutes (your oven may vary; my chips burn at 275, even at shorter times).  Takes care of the salty, crunchy cravings.

Might also kill the bacteria.  I don't know; it's an oven, not an autoclave.


Where do you get the fish sauce?
 
2013-02-06 06:54:10 PM
No wonder city folks are all the time crazy, paying good money for sh*t covered greens.
I grow my own veggies and wintertime is greens season. Cabbage, purple turnips w/the greens, and collards. Fresh out of the garden. Yum.
So I can self righteously and smugly say HAH.
 
2013-02-06 06:55:32 PM
Poultry.

The insidious killer.


Super-Chicken:  You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred.

I know but I didn't expect you to be the most dangerous part.
 
2013-02-06 06:56:19 PM

born_yesterday: On a diet.  My favorite new snack food is roasted kale chips.  One pound of kale, 2 tbsp olive oil, 2 tbsp fish sauce, garlic powder to taste.  Roast at 250 for 45 minutes; flip and roast 45 more minutes (your oven may vary; my chips burn at 275, even at shorter times).  Takes care of the salty, crunchy cravings.

Might also kill the bacteria.  I don't know; it's an oven, not an autoclave.



I think that's plenty. With meat you just need an internal temperature of 160°(ground meat)-165°(chicken) to ensure it's safe. Since your chips are thin I they're golden. If they didn't get hot enough I think you wouldn't have chips, but a floppy mess.
 
2013-02-06 06:58:22 PM
*I think

Anyone else having problems with this comments thingy?
 
2013-02-06 07:00:31 PM

Hollie Maea: As occassional bout of the shiats probably is less likely to kill you than coronary disease.

Or you could, you know, wash your veggies.


I recall that for a recent cantaloupe born outbreak even standard washing didn't get rid of the germs because they are rather well embedded into the skin.

What is a better approach to this problem?

1) Allow agricultural workers paid sick leave and no-penalty bathroom breaks so they don't shiat in the fields when sick.

2) Everybody follow then current CDC melon guidelines which give the illusion of safety but don't really work:

Follow this general FDA advice for melon safety:

•  Consumers and food preparers should wash their hands with warm water and soap for at least 20 seconds before and after handling any whole melon, such as cantaloupe, watermelon, or honeydew.
•  Scrub the surface of melons, such as cantaloupes, with a clean produce brush under running water and dry them with a clean cloth or paper towel before cutting.
•  Be sure that your scrub brush is sanitized after each use, to avoid transferring bacteria between melons.
•  Promptly consume cut melon or refrigerate promptly. Keep your cut melon refrigerated at, or less than 40 degrees F (32-34 degrees F is best), for no more than 7 days.
•  Discard cut melons left at room temperature for more than 4 hours.
 
2013-02-06 07:16:33 PM

octopied: born_yesterday: On a diet.  My favorite new snack food is roasted kale chips.  One pound of kale, 2 tbsp olive oil, 2 tbsp fish sauce, garlic powder to taste.  Roast at 250 for 45 minutes; flip and roast 45 more minutes (your oven may vary; my chips burn at 275, even at shorter times).  Takes care of the salty, crunchy cravings.

Might also kill the bacteria.  I don't know; it's an oven, not an autoclave.

Where do you get the fish sauce?


I...can't...remember.  No, seriously, I got it at one of the local grocery stores, and I remember it was reasonably cheap.  It was imported, but I have no idea if it would be considered "good" or "low quality export".  But I did like the taste, even when using it as a condiment.

Anyways, I've looked for it at the Giant, and they don't have any fish sauce at all in the "Asian foods" section.  I'm going to check Safeway again.  Barring that, there's an Asian market nearby, if anyone wants to recommend a brand.
 
2013-02-06 07:21:36 PM
Stupid subby.  My mother died before I was even born.
 
2013-02-06 07:23:54 PM

NutWrench: [upload.wikimedia.org image 200x289]
I was always one step ahead of her!


I saw a PSA during the Superbowl.   Doritos attract vicious goats!    We tossed all our Doritos in a neighbors yard, hoping the storm would pass.
 
2013-02-06 07:30:45 PM
greengiant.com
And that's how we make squash, Lil Sprout!

Ho! Ho! Ho! The Jolly Green Ogre. Brought to you by Soylent Green Inc.
We're the people company!
 
2013-02-06 07:37:31 PM

MrHappyRotter: Stupid subby.  My mother died before I was even born.


Her mother feed her too many veggies?
 
2013-02-06 07:41:59 PM

born_yesterday: On a diet.  My favorite new snack food is roasted kale chips.  One pound of kale, 2 tbsp olive oil, 2 tbsp fish sauce, garlic powder to taste.  Roast at 250 for 45 minutes; flip and roast 45 more minutes (your oven may vary; my chips burn at 275, even at shorter times).  Takes care of the salty, crunchy cravings.


You mean I gotta wait 90 minutes (excluding any prep time) just to satisfy the munchies when I can rip open a bag of Dorito's in about a second?

I'll starve by then!
 
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