Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Week)   The Monopoly iron was a remnant of metal-working in Chicago. So there you go. A small, metallic bit of American history. Tossed out for a cat   (theweek.com) divider line 170
    More: Stupid, Chicago, Americans, iron, cats  
•       •       •

8410 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 1:52 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



170 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-06 01:40:48 PM  
I just took the dog and put it on top of the iron.  Hoverboarding doggy.
 
2013-02-06 01:42:08 PM  
In a month or so they'll find out they're allergic and dump the cat at the free parking lot
 
2013-02-06 01:53:47 PM  
images.sodahead.com
 
2013-02-06 01:53:52 PM  
I call Richard Harrow pumpgun!
 
2013-02-06 01:54:53 PM  
I can't imagine how dull your life would have to be before you could bother to get outraged over Monopoly changing a piece.
 
2013-02-06 01:55:47 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 01:55:57 PM  
Who cares about the iron... why did the cat beat the robot? I demand a recount.
 
2013-02-06 01:55:57 PM  
Damn feline union busters.
 
2013-02-06 01:56:38 PM  

Gdiguy: Who cares about the iron... why did the cat beat the robot? I demand a recount.


This.
 
2013-02-06 01:56:57 PM  
You'll get over it.
 
2013-02-06 01:57:03 PM  
Cats > Iron working, Chicago, and American history
 
2013-02-06 01:57:12 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 01:57:15 PM  

Gunther: I can't imagine how dull your life would have to be before you could bother to get outraged over Monopoly changing a piece.

 
2013-02-06 01:57:29 PM  
This is going to end up like the New Coke thing, right? Hasbro will gets tons of free publicity and sell boatloads more Monopoly games than they would have otherwise.
 
2013-02-06 01:57:29 PM  
"utter travesty"

I mean, that's what you went with? When was the last time you even played monopoly?
 
2013-02-06 01:57:58 PM  

The Onion is prophetic


I just took the dog and put it on top of the iron. Hoverboarding doggy.


You I like.
 
2013-02-06 01:58:01 PM  
Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.
 
2013-02-06 01:59:14 PM  
i.imgur.com

There's an irony joke in there somewhe-NO.
 
2013-02-06 01:59:19 PM  
KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY!

If I collect enough of them I'll be a cat lady!
 
2013-02-06 01:59:43 PM  

Jument: This is going to end up like the New Coke thing, right? Hasbro will gets tons of free publicity and sell boatloads more Monopoly games than they would have otherwise.


They're going to re-release the iron at a later date as DLC.
 
2013-02-06 01:59:45 PM  
a coworker told me about this and I thought "f*cking internet"
 
2013-02-06 02:00:04 PM  

Jument: This is going to end up like the New Coke thing, right? Hasbro will gets tons of free publicity and sell boatloads more Monopoly games than they would have otherwise.


It's not like there was a shortage of Monopoly games out there. They sell like 500 different versions already.
 
2013-02-06 02:00:26 PM  

miss diminutive: Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.


If you're really bootstrappy you'd start the game with no money.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:06 PM  
I would've preferred the helicopter, but if they still have the battleship, I'll be cool.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:34 PM  

regindyn: miss diminutive: Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.

If you're really bootstrappy you'd start the game with no money.


I start the game in jail.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:56 PM  
Game piece change? Meh. Been done before.

The travesty was when they changed Baltic and Mediterranean to be brown instead of purple.
 
2013-02-06 02:02:20 PM  
My Mom was always the iron, so thanks for throwing out my mother, you generation of horribly spelled cat caption worshipers.
 
2013-02-06 02:03:02 PM  
First Star Wars, then Transformers, then Indiana Jones! Plus Aliens, Terminator and Predator! Let's not forget Spider-man, Superman, and Batman. Add Pacman, Megaman, etc.

Operation is a shell of the former game!

And now Monopoly!

Stop ruining EVERYTHING! Ruiners!
 
2013-02-06 02:04:47 PM  

cgraves67: I would've preferred the helicopter, but if they still have the battleship, I'll be cool.


Oh man there was a helicopter option?! Dammit, why didn't that win?  For shame, internet!
 
2013-02-06 02:05:17 PM  
The cat's probably lighter, saving them $2 per 1000 units made.  The robot would've raised production costs $5 per 1000 units, ergo, the cat wins.
 
2013-02-06 02:05:21 PM  
I blame RedditTM
 
2013-02-06 02:05:26 PM  
Forget Monopoly!
I still want my tan M&M back!
 
2013-02-06 02:06:30 PM  
Does this mean that all of our old classic sets are worth money now?
 
2013-02-06 02:07:10 PM  
img593.imageshack.us
 
2013-02-06 02:07:40 PM  

durbnpoisn: Does this mean that all of our old classic sets are worth money now?


Only if you own three of the same colour.
 
2013-02-06 02:08:34 PM  
Good. Should have gotten rid of the dog, though.
 
2013-02-06 02:08:47 PM  
People still play Monopoly?
 
2013-02-06 02:09:12 PM  
First it was an iron, now it's a cat.

When did Monopoly become about women's issues?
 
2013-02-06 02:09:31 PM  
FTA: Come on, internet! A cat? As if we weren't inundated with enough cats already? What's next? Replacing the thimble with a tiny, alloyed Justin Bieber?

Only if it's focus tested within an inch of its life before being presented to the Internet.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:06 PM  
I'd forgotten about the cannon.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:44 PM  
monopoly sucks and I get to be the dog or the hat or you can fark off
 
2013-02-06 02:10:47 PM  
i36.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 02:11:37 PM  

miss diminutive: durbnpoisn: Does this mean that all of our old classic sets are worth money now?

Only if you own three of the same colour.


And you can't use the money for anything except to buy more Monopoly games.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:04 PM  

miss diminutive: durbnpoisn: Does this mean that all of our old classic sets are worth money now?

Only if you own three of the same colour.


Win.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:26 PM  
People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

I can remember when the cat became more popular as a household pet than the dog. It now rules the Innertubes thanks to Ape Lad. Recognition as a Monopoly game piece is long overdue.

It's natural that the cat would win in a fair fight against a flat iron. Steam irons, not so much. And vacuum cleaners beat cats every time.

Our dog used to hate the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, however, he went deaf. He would then let my Mother vacuum him. Our dog had to be put down at 15 after somebody hit him in a car or truck and broke his spine, leaving his back legs useless. Very sad.

My Father does the vacuuming now. I assume it is because he likes pushing things around.

I often choose the iron as my playing piece because it was stable. I did not like my piece to tip over. I'm not surprised that it was the piece to go, seeing as so few people really like ironing, and those who do may also like thimbles. Canadian Monopoly was more politically correct than American Monopoly. I don't recall seeing the big artillery piece. I think it was replaced with a cowboy on a rearing horse. Canada has two football teams named the Roughriders, so maybe it was Teddy Roosevelt.

I do think the old battleship was a cool design. I think the Titantic would be a good Monopoly piece, seeing as how many monopolists went down with it.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:39 PM  
FTFA: Utter travesty

content6.flixster.com

We go right for the top shelf with our words now.We go right for the top shelf with our words now. We don't think about how we talk. We just say the right to the farking, just--"dude, it was amazing." really? you were amazed? You were amazed by a basket of chicken wings? Really? Amazing? What are you gonna do with the rest of your life now? What if something really happens to you? What if jesus comes down from the sky and makes love to you all night long, leaves the new living lord in your belly? What are you gonna call that?
 
2013-02-06 02:14:30 PM  
What's all this talk about an iron, racecar, top hat, and dog?  Those are Monopoly pieces?  When I was a kid, we had a thimble, an empty spool of thread, an old button, and one of those plastic pieces from the Sorry game.  Seriously, who manages to keep all of the original monopoly pieces without losing them?
 
2013-02-06 02:15:18 PM  
So cat == the Internet?
 
2013-02-06 02:17:14 PM  
America doesn't produce many irons these days but we are the world leader in LOLcat production, followed closely by the Japanese. It's a fierce competition.
 
2013-02-06 02:17:22 PM  
Teddy Roosevelt would be a really great ironic Monopoly piece, seeing as he was famous for busting monopolies. I had a game called Anti-Monopoly as a child. It was a politically-correct, free-market slash socialist alternative to Monopoly where the object was breaking up monopolies. Come to think of it, it was pretty much the same game, only with less trading and fighting. I never did get anybody to play it, though, so it wasn't as exciting to break up trusts as screwing people out of their money and property and laughing at their failure like J.D. Rockefeller.
 
2013-02-06 02:18:44 PM  

brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

I can remember when the cat became more popular as a household pet than the dog. It now rules the Innertubes thanks to Ape Lad. Recognition as a Monopoly game piece is long overdue.

It's natural that the cat would win in a fair fight against a flat iron. Steam irons, not so much. And vacuum cleaners beat cats every time.

Our dog used to hate the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, however, he went deaf. He would then let my Mother vacuum him. Our dog had to be put down at 15 after somebody hit him in a car or truck and broke his spine, leaving his back legs useless. Very sad.

My Father does the vacuuming now. I assume it is because he likes pushing things around.

I often choose the iron as my playing piece because it was stable. I did not like my piece to tip over. I'm not surprised that it was the piece to go, seeing as so few people really like ironing, and those who do may also like thimbles. Canadian Monopoly was more politically correct than American Monopoly. I don't recall seeing the big artillery piece. I think it was replaced with a cowboy on a rearing horse. Canada has two football teams named the Roughriders, so maybe it was Teddy Roosevelt.

I do think the old battleship was a cool design. I think the Titantic would be a good Monopoly piece, seeing as how many monopolists went down with it.




No it doesn't.
 
2013-02-06 02:20:11 PM  
If a dice hits a hairball does it count?
 
2013-02-06 02:20:36 PM  

BATMANATEE: brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

I can remember when the cat became more popular as a household pet than the dog. It now rules the Innertubes thanks to Ape Lad. Recognition as a Monopoly game piece is long overdue.

It's natural that the cat would win in a fair fight against a flat iron. Steam irons, not so much. And vacuum cleaners beat cats every time.

Our dog used to hate the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, however, he went deaf. He would then let my Mother vacuum him. Our dog had to be put down at 15 after somebody hit him in a car or truck and broke his spine, leaving his back legs useless. Very sad.

My Father does the vacuuming now. I assume it is because he likes pushing things around.

I often choose the iron as my playing piece because it was stable. I did not like my piece to tip over. I'm not surprised that it was the piece to go, seeing as so few people really like ironing, and those who do may also like thimbles. Canadian Monopoly was more politically correct than American Monopoly. I don't recall seeing the big artillery piece. I think it was replaced with a cowboy on a rearing horse. Canada has two football teams named the Roughriders, so maybe it was Teddy Roosevelt.

I do think the old battleship was a cool design. I think the Titantic would be a good Monopoly piece, seeing as how many monopolists went down with it.

No it doesn't.


Had. It should be "had".
 
2013-02-06 02:21:12 PM  

Truman Burbank: Game piece change? Meh. Been done before.

The travesty was when they changed Baltic and Mediterranean to be brown instead of purple.


You made me look, now I'm mad.
xroads.virginia.edu
 
2013-02-06 02:21:41 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com
/hotlinked
 
2013-02-06 02:21:45 PM  
I just wish they'd replace the Seymour piece in my Futurama edition Monopoly game.

No one ever wants to play with that one.
 
2013-02-06 02:23:12 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
How do those Parker Brothers sleep at night?
 
2013-02-06 02:23:39 PM  
Americans are too stupid, fat and lazy to work in factories.

You have to go for at least minutes at a time without checking Facebook if you work in a manufacturing environment and it certainly helps if you weigh less than 300 pounds.
 
2013-02-06 02:23:45 PM  

uncleacid: If a dice hits a hairball does it count?


If it's 3 or less, no.  4 and up, yes.  But that's for me, its opposite when you roll it.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:14 PM  

miss diminutive: regindyn: miss diminutive: Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.

If you're really bootstrappy you'd start the game with no money.

I start the game in jail.


That's not bootstrappy rules, that's minority rules.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:42 PM  

The Onion is prophetic: I just took the dog and put it on top of the iron.  Hoverboarding doggy.


Dang, why didn't I think of that, lol!

Oh well, I surrender to our feline overlords in the game of Monopoly :P
 
2013-02-06 02:24:55 PM  

Titanius Anglesmith: I just wish they'd replace the Seymour piece in my Futurama edition Monopoly game.

No one ever wants to play with that one.


I guess you could say that it just waits there for you?
 
2013-02-06 02:25:32 PM  
Cat tokin'?

3.bp.blogspot.com

/approves
 
2013-02-06 02:25:32 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Titanius Anglesmith: I just wish they'd replace the Seymour piece in my Futurama edition Monopoly game.

No one ever wants to play with that one.

I guess you could say that it just waits there for you?


Awww man. Now I'm sad.

/shakes fist
 
2013-02-06 02:27:38 PM  
Wow, the author sounds quite bitter.  I bet he just is not getting enough pussy.
 
2013-02-06 02:30:00 PM  
Playing with a little pussy has always been a dicey proposition.
 
2013-02-06 02:31:10 PM  

miss diminutive: Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.


Not with my siblings. Extortion, blackmail, property leasing to make sets, finance deals, usury, fragile alliances and inevitable betrayals were pretty much par for the course in the struggle to crush the opposition. Sort of like EVE Online meets Hasbro.
 
2013-02-06 02:31:33 PM  

brantgoose: Teddy Roosevelt would be a really great ironic Monopoly piece, seeing as he was famous for busting monopolies. I had a game called Anti-Monopoly as a child. It was a politically-correct, free-market slash socialist alternative to Monopoly where the object was breaking up monopolies. Come to think of it, it was pretty much the same game, only with less trading and fighting. I never did get anybody to play it, though, so it wasn't as exciting to break up trusts as screwing people out of their money and property and laughing at their failure like J.D. Rockefeller.


Gosh! You had a game with a system of rules that appealed to all the right ideological positions, with the goal of deriving an ideal socialist endgame, but when you tried to put it into practice and get people to invest their time and effort into your scheme, nobody wanted to play along?

Do tell.
 
2013-02-06 02:35:02 PM  
No, the iron symbolized the oppression of women, so it is racist.

no wait... womens issues... ok, the iron symbolized rape.  Rape.

Everything is rape.

Or racism.
 
2013-02-06 02:39:06 PM  
Well, well, well...  It looks like my value of my miniature antique metallic laundry item collection is just about to skyrocket!  HA HA!  Who's laughing now, Jim Cramer??
 
2013-02-06 02:39:11 PM  

plausdeny: brantgoose: Teddy Roosevelt would be a really great ironic Monopoly piece, seeing as he was famous for busting monopolies. I had a game called Anti-Monopoly as a child. It was a politically-correct, free-market slash socialist alternative to Monopoly where the object was breaking up monopolies. Come to think of it, it was pretty much the same game, only with less trading and fighting. I never did get anybody to play it, though, so it wasn't as exciting to break up trusts as screwing people out of their money and property and laughing at their failure like J.D. Rockefeller.

Gosh! You had a game with a system of rules that appealed to all the right ideological positions, with the goal of deriving an ideal socialist endgame, but when you tried to put it into practice and get people to invest their time and effort into your scheme, nobody wanted to play along?

Do tell.


I recently a scored a copy of this at a garage sale for $5.  It's a pretty funny defense of corporation-hating socialism.
 
2013-02-06 02:39:11 PM  

Decillion: First Star Wars, then Transformers, then Indiana Jones! Plus Aliens, Terminator and Predator! Let's not forget Spider-man, Superman, and Batman. Add Pacman, Megaman, etc.

Operation is a shell of the former game!

And now Monopoly!

Stop ruining EVERYTHING! Ruiners!


I bought the new Operation game for my niece this Christmas and I was shocked to find that the game doesn't  buzz anymore when you touch the metal frame...  I guess it was too stressful for the new generation, I don't know...
 
2013-02-06 02:39:36 PM  
I already own too many different copies of Monopoly. Not a problem for me to never buy another one. Between various old versions I've found at yard sales/thrift stores, and the handful of theme-opolies I've picked up, yeah, I'm covered.
 
2013-02-06 02:40:12 PM  
Permanent Press did the iron in.
A generation before that it was the mangle
and before that the washboard
and even further back, a rock in the river.

Progress..
 
2013-02-06 02:41:22 PM  
The only Monopoly edition worth playing:

img42.imageshack.us
/and some brilliant typos on the Community Chest and Chance cards...
 
2013-02-06 02:41:23 PM  
Today dies the American working class.
 
2013-02-06 02:42:25 PM  

badLogic: So cat == the Internet?


i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 02:42:50 PM  

brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.


Some of us don't dress like crap, so yes. Non-iron shirts aren't really, but they do make ironing easier.
 
2013-02-06 02:44:22 PM  
img42.imageshack.us

You crazy kids and your newfangled Monopoly tokens. Back in my day they were little wooden pegs, and we liked it that way.
 
2013-02-06 02:45:00 PM  
Geesh! The author acts like he had 1000 dainty irons shoved up his ying-yang.
It's just a board bored game!
 
2013-02-06 02:45:03 PM  
I don't care, as long as they keep the thimble.  The thimble is one of the last symbolic vestiges of misogyny left in this country.  It is a symbol of the household drudgery expected of every adult woman in this country.  Without the thimble as a touchstone, a reminder, women would lose their place in society.  They would go to school, get jobs, become independent, start their own fem-centric businesses, and maybe even run for political office!  It would be utter chaos!!

So yes, the iron can go, that is all well and good.  But keep the thimble, or disaster will soon follow!

/satire
 
2013-02-06 02:45:03 PM  

cptjeff: brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

Some of us don't dress like crap, so yes. Non-iron shirts aren't really, but they do make ironing easier.


Perhaps he meant the type of iron from Monopoly.
binaryapi.ap.org
Ya know, the kind you have to put over a fire or heat source. Instead of one with a built in heat source.
 
2013-02-06 02:47:08 PM  
Actually now that I think about it I bet I could convince some idiot hipsters about the benefits of artisinal ironing with an old fashioned flat iron, and that for the low price of $20 per piece I will iron their clothing in the style of the old world.
 
2013-02-06 02:47:10 PM  

stonicus: We go right for the top shelf with our words now...


I like Louis C.K., but this rant and the "you're flying through the sky in a chair" rant just come off like a cold Andy Rooney and George Carlin sandwich without the spicy mustard that I ordered.
 
2013-02-06 02:51:11 PM  

Decillion: Operation is a shell of the former game!


I like how the original cover of Operation had the surgeon smoking a stemmed cigarette over the patient's body.

/google it if you don't believe me.
 
2013-02-06 02:51:34 PM  

stonicus: We go right for the top shelf with our words now.We go right for the top shelf with our words now. We don't think about how we talk.


Funny you should say that.
 
2013-02-06 02:51:47 PM  

MrEricSir: [img42.imageshack.us image 500x222]

You crazy kids and your newfangled Monopoly tokens. Back in my day they were little wooden pegs, and we liked it that way.


"Which piece do you want to be?"

"The green one."

"Which green one?"

"The one that looks like a , uh...the one that looks like an....ummmmm. On second thought, I'll be the black one."
 
2013-02-06 02:54:22 PM  
PedoBear doesn't even get an honorable mention?
 
2013-02-06 02:55:47 PM  
Does the cat have a pop-tart on its back?
 
2013-02-06 02:56:27 PM  
Ironic tag has a sad.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-06 02:58:45 PM  
I had a carved wooden Dachshund that I bought at a farmer's market for a Monopoly piece. 'Twas a cute little thing, but it towered over the regular pieces. Sorta like a weinerzilla

/lucky for me
//intimidating for them
 
2013-02-06 03:00:44 PM  

Treygreen13: cptjeff: brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

Some of us don't dress like crap, so yes. Non-iron shirts aren't really, but they do make ironing easier.

Perhaps he meant the type of iron from Monopoly.
[binaryapi.ap.org image 460x309]
Ya know, the kind you have to put over a fire or heat source. Instead of one with a built in heat source.


"People still use irons?" sure sounds like he's talking about the entire category, not just one type. If he meant what you think he might have, it would have been, "People still use irons like that?", or something similar. So unless he utterly sucks at english, I'm just gonna assume that he's a dork who thinks the entire world wears tee shirts and cargo shorts 24/7 just because he does.

\Presuming it's a he.
 
2013-02-06 03:02:46 PM  
I still use my dot com version of Monopoly. Got it for something like $5 right after the big internet bust.

It's funny to see all the companies that no longer exist. It's so anachronistic now, it's like playing a version themed to disco.
 
2013-02-06 03:03:00 PM  

cptjeff: Treygreen13: cptjeff: brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

Some of us don't dress like crap, so yes. Non-iron shirts aren't really, but they do make ironing easier.

Perhaps he meant the type of iron from Monopoly.
[binaryapi.ap.org image 460x309]
Ya know, the kind you have to put over a fire or heat source. Instead of one with a built in heat source.

"People still use irons?" sure sounds like he's talking about the entire category, not just one type. If he meant what you think he might have, it would have been, "People still use irons like that?", or something similar. So unless he utterly sucks at english, I'm just gonna assume that he's a dork who thinks the entire world wears tee shirts and cargo shorts 24/7 just because he does.

\Presuming it's a he.


I dunno. I mean, "people still try to get wrinkles out of clothes?!" seems like a wholly unreasonable question. Even if he rarely chooses to personally iron his clothing, you'd think he (or she) would at least see people out and about without wrinkled clothes and assume somebody somewhere uses an electric iron.

Either that or everyone has their clothes pressed at the dry cleaner. Or maybe they steam their wrinkles out. I guess that's possible.

We'll have to ask him.
 
2013-02-06 03:08:18 PM  
Wall Street is raping the US economy like a Steubenville football player, the NRA is actively pandering to the gun industry, and the GOP is still the #1 whore of the 'job creators', and this is what these people are getting their outrage from!?.
 
2013-02-06 03:08:43 PM  
Ca$h Cat made it happen:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-06 03:12:39 PM  

MrEricSir: [img42.imageshack.us image 500x222]

You crazy kids and your newfangled Monopoly tokens. Back in my day they were little wooden pegs, and we liked it that way.


Came here to say this. I was always the tall orange piece.

/odds are pretty good that was lead-based paint
 
2013-02-06 03:13:54 PM  

miss diminutive: durbnpoisn: Does this mean that all of our old classic sets are worth money now?

Only if you own three of the same colour.


well played! +1 internets to you.

/i laughed
 
2013-02-06 03:16:06 PM  
To make the game faster (sometimes) and more fun (always) play Triviopoly:

Put a couple of boxes of Trivial Pursuit cards next to the table.

Every time you are required to pay rent on someone else's property you get the choice of going "double or nothing" on a question and category selected by a neutral player (not you or the one you owe rent to).

Gets fun when you get to the hotel stage of the game.
 
2013-02-06 03:16:59 PM  

brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

I can remember when the cat became more popular as a household pet than the dog. It now rules the Innertubes thanks to Ape Lad. Recognition as a Monopoly game piece is long overdue.

It's natural that the cat would win in a fair fight against a flat iron. Steam irons, not so much. And vacuum cleaners beat cats every time.

Our dog used to hate the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, however, he went deaf. He would then let my Mother vacuum him. Our dog had to be put down at 15 after somebody hit him in a car or truck and broke his spine, leaving his back legs useless. Very sad.

My Father does the vacuuming now. I assume it is because he likes pushing things around.

I often choose the iron as my playing piece because it was stable. I did not like my piece to tip over. I'm not surprised that it was the piece to go, seeing as so few people really like ironing, and those who do may also like thimbles. Canadian Monopoly was more politically correct than American Monopoly. I don't recall seeing the big artillery piece. I think it was replaced with a cowboy on a rearing horse. Canada has two football teams named the Roughriders, so maybe it was Teddy Roosevelt.

I do think the old battleship was a cool design. I think the Titantic would be a good Monopoly piece, seeing as how many monopolists went down with it.


Well, alright then.
 
2013-02-06 03:17:58 PM  
They still have the thimble?
 
2013-02-06 03:18:13 PM  

MrEricSir: [img42.imageshack.us image 500x222]

You crazy kids and your newfangled Monopoly tokens. Back in my day they were little wooden pegs, and we liked it that way.


We had hounds & jackals.
cf.geekdo-images.com
/so let it be written, so let it be done
//whippersnapper
 
2013-02-06 03:19:05 PM  
brantgoose: People still use irons?


Um, yea.  How do you get the wrinkles out of your clothes?
 
2013-02-06 03:21:08 PM  

Gdiguy: Who cares about the iron... why did the cat beat the robot?



Have you ever heard of a robot lady?

/"Oooh, my wittle precious Bender-bundlekins! Who's a nice robot? Yes you are. Yes you are."
 
2013-02-06 03:23:39 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: Forget Monopoly!
I still want my tan M&M back!


My friends look at me sadly when I mention that M&Ms used to have two different browns.
 
2013-02-06 03:26:10 PM  
 
2013-02-06 03:28:52 PM  
I can haz $200 for passing Go?
 
2013-02-06 03:29:28 PM  
We use the Clue pieces, and I use a cannon from Risk. We have fun with our board games.
 
2013-02-06 03:29:31 PM  

MBooda: We had hounds & jackals.



That brings back memories...
 
2013-02-06 03:33:24 PM  

CygnusDarius: Wall Street is raping the US economy like a Steubenville football player, the NRA is actively pandering to the gun industry, and the GOP is still the #1 whore of the 'job creators', and this is what these people are getting their outrage from!?.


Well luckily you were here to cover all that outrage for us.
 
2013-02-06 03:36:26 PM  
I was in favor of the "Half Eaten KFC Double-Down" Monopoly piece replacement.
 
2013-02-06 03:36:31 PM  

miss diminutive: regindyn: miss diminutive: Playing the boot made me feel all bootstrappy. Turning down GO money and community chests on principle is how the game is really meant to be played.

If you're really bootstrappy you'd start the game with no money.

I start the game in jail.


Worked out just fine for me in Oblivion
 
2013-02-06 03:41:57 PM  
I've played the iron since I was a kid.  A couple of months ago my kids begged me to play Monopoly with them and, sure enough, I chose the iron.  When I was about 10 and playing Monopoly with a couple of friends, I heated the iron up on the bulb in a lamp, then pretended to "iron" one friend's leg.  She *did not* enjoy the welt it left.  She probably would have voted for the cat too.
 
2013-02-06 03:43:55 PM  
but but caturday....

got nuttin
 
2013-02-06 03:46:33 PM  
RIP Jeremy Irons
 
2013-02-06 03:50:07 PM  
What about the "red plastic parcheesi piece added to the Monopoly box because too many of the original player pieces got lost or stuck up a toddler's nose"?

Does that piece still have a place in the Monopoly pantheon?

/monoplantheon
 
2013-02-06 03:51:24 PM  

poot_rootbeer: What about the "red plastic parcheesi piece added to the Monopoly box because too many of the original player pieces got lost or stuck up a toddler's nose"?

Does that piece still have a place in the Monopoly pantheon?

/monoplantheon


I think we used a Frito for about 2 weeks.

Then the game ended.
 
2013-02-06 03:53:09 PM  

LlamaGirl: KITTY KITTY KITTY KITTY!

If I collect enough of them I'll be a cat lady!


My reaction exactly.

Except replace lady with man. I don't have the requisite parts for the former.
 
2013-02-06 03:55:54 PM  

Teufelaffe: Cats > Iron working, Chicago, and American history


The domestic cat predates the Iron Age by 7,000 years, America by over 9,000, and Chicago by damn near 10,000. Meow.
 
2013-02-06 03:56:09 PM  
just going to lose the farking thing anyway
 
2013-02-06 03:57:50 PM  

Danger Mouse: brantgoose: People still use irons?


Um, yea.  How do you get the wrinkles out of your clothes?


I just buy new clothes. I never wear the same thing more than once. What am I, a farmer?
 
2013-02-06 03:58:12 PM  

Gunther: I can't imagine how dull your life would have to be before you could bother to get outraged over Monopoly changing a piece.


You just don't understand. Between this and the suspension of Saturday mail service, Obama's America has plunged into an incomprehensible, unrecognizable dystopia. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control, and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2013-02-06 03:58:37 PM  
fark Chicago.
 
2013-02-06 04:00:43 PM  

stonelotus: fark Chicago.


So, which borough are you from?
 
2013-02-06 04:01:03 PM  

miss diminutive: I start the game in jail.



I remember seeing a bootleg t shirt in either Harlem or poss Wash DC, of "Blackopoly", where every property was jail and the actual "jail" spot was free parking.  or some shiat.

social commentary, i guess.
 
2013-02-06 04:01:43 PM  
This game is way better:

www.gamepile.com

oh, and I must give ceiling cat a shout-out.

www.austincnm.com
 
db2
2013-02-06 04:03:23 PM  
I voted for the eagle crapping on a turban.
 
2013-02-06 04:03:30 PM  

freewill: So, which borough are you from?



ROSCOE VILLAGE, that's what's up, SONNNNNNNNN!


Paulina station, Brown Line, REPPAZENT
 
2013-02-06 04:08:19 PM  
Could we get rid of chicago and keep the iron?
Why the fark would you dump that for a kitty
 
2013-02-06 04:13:24 PM  

Gunther: I can't imagine how dull your life would have to be before you could bother to get outraged over Monopoly changing a piece.


cdn.trendhunterstatic.com

/You talkin' to me?
 
2013-02-06 04:15:14 PM  
Why, in my day....

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-06 04:23:09 PM  
I guess my idea of game of thrones monopoly did not go so good
 
2013-02-06 04:23:31 PM  

freewill: Gunther: I can't imagine how dull your life would have to be before you could bother to get outraged over Monopoly changing a piece.

You just don't understand. Between this and the suspension of Saturday mail service, Obama's America has plunged into an incomprehensible, unrecognizable dystopia. This business will get out of control. It will get out of control, and we'll be lucky to live through it.


.......and with unemployment where it is we all have plenty of time to play board games.
 
2013-02-06 04:25:52 PM  

brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

I can remember when the cat became more popular as a household pet than the dog. It now rules the Innertubes thanks to Ape Lad. Recognition as a Monopoly game piece is long overdue.

It's natural that the cat would win in a fair fight against a flat iron. Steam irons, not so much. And vacuum cleaners beat cats every time.

Our dog used to hate the vacuum cleaner. Eventually, however, he went deaf. He would then let my Mother vacuum him. Our dog had to be put down at 15 after somebody hit him in a car or truck and broke his spine, leaving his back legs useless. Very sad.

My Father does the vacuuming now. I assume it is because he likes pushing things around.

I often choose the iron as my playing piece because it was stable. I did not like my piece to tip over. I'm not surprised that it was the piece to go, seeing as so few people really like ironing, and those who do may also like thimbles. Canadian Monopoly was more politically correct than American Monopoly. I don't recall seeing the big artillery piece. I think it was replaced with a cowboy on a rearing horse. Canada has two football teams named the Roughriders, so maybe it was Teddy Roosevelt.

I do think the old battleship was a cool design. I think the Titantic would be a good Monopoly piece, seeing as how many monopolists went down with it.


I read this in Andy Rooney's voice.
 
2013-02-06 04:30:50 PM  

cervier: Decillion: First Star Wars, then Transformers, then Indiana Jones! Plus Aliens, Terminator and Predator! Let's not forget Spider-man, Superman, and Batman. Add Pacman, Megaman, etc.

Operation is a shell of the former game!

And now Monopoly!

Stop ruining EVERYTHING! Ruiners!

I bought the new Operation game for my niece this Christmas and I was shocked to find that the game doesn't  buzz anymore when you touch the metal frame...  I guess it was too stressful for the new generation, I don't know...


Seriously? What is the point of the farking game now? That horrid loud buzzing was what made you nervous and jumpy trying to get the stupid body parts out. I can't even imagine what could possibly be "fun" about that game now.

I feel SO sorry for kids these days. When I was a kid we had Creepy Crawlers (you made wierd ugly bugs and monsters by cooking toxic goop of many colors in metal molds inside a small hotplate).  It was dangerous and we learned life lessons about the value of caution and oven mitts. So a few kids (idiots) got burnt and they were forced to shiatcan the whole thing.

We had chemistry kits that had actual acid included. We learned that acid was DANGEROUS.

We had ACTUAL pointy lawn darts (ok, that was insane) BUT we also learned that throwing sharp projectiles in the general vicinity of other people was a bad idea.

They ruined Spirograph, Easy Bake Ovens, Farking tree climbing for that matter. Jacks are made out of rubber now. It's a miracle that the whole world isn't wrapped in 12 inches of farking foam in case some snowflake might fall down and get a grass stain on their pants.
 
2013-02-06 04:46:32 PM  
The internet predictably chose the most popular thing on the internet to replace the unfairly maligned iron.

They posted the wrong kind of pussy.
 
2013-02-06 04:52:16 PM  
Years ago, Johnny Lightning came out with a series of Monopoly toy cars that featured part of the game and came with the Monopoly version of that car.  I got the Water Works 1955 Chevy truck, so that is what I play with.  If you play enough to bother with this, go to a hobby store and buy a small pewter figure.  I have thought of doing that, because how cool playing with friends and you bust out a menacing looking medieval looking dude holding a sword or battleaxe.  Even better, bring along a full size scale version of the weapon carried by your figure and try to finish one round before the cops show up to arrest your silly messed up self.
 
2013-02-06 04:53:13 PM  

Soulcatcher: Spirograph


oh my god yes. when i was a kid, my grandma still had my dad's old spirograph kit. with a piece of cardboard and thumbtacks to hold the paper and the frame down.

Now-a-days, you've gotta punch it onto posts, i think, and cross your fingers that it stays while you're almost to the point where you started and the lines are going to match up perfectly and doesn't slip off and ruin your whole design. and i don't even think anything holds the whole thing to the table.

and they call this progress.
 
2013-02-06 05:05:21 PM  

boyvoyeur: The internet predictably chose the most popular thing on the internet to replace the unfairly maligned iron.

They posted the wrong kind of pussy.


Isn't half the Internet porn and the other half cats anyway?
 
2013-02-06 05:07:48 PM  
 
2013-02-06 05:27:31 PM  
Do they still have the thimbal?
 
2013-02-06 05:30:57 PM  
This decision just boggles my mind.  Did you notice in this whole operation the only tokens at risk were the "working class" ones? Did you notice the cat had a diamond collar? It's joining the "rich token" axis and allies itself against good, honest work. If you didn't, you should get a clue. Don't just scrabble about in a daze. It's just another symptom of the downfall of civilization. Guess who will be up against the wall when the revolution comes - people who put diamond studded collars on their cats.
 
2013-02-06 05:35:21 PM  

Treygreen13: cptjeff: brantgoose: People still use irons?

Well, I mean, apart from my Mother's generation, of course.

Some of us don't dress like crap, so yes. Non-iron shirts aren't really, but they do make ironing easier.

Perhaps he meant the type of iron from Monopoly.
[binaryapi.ap.org image 460x309]
Ya know, the kind you have to put over a fire or heat source. Instead of one with a built in heat source.


If he meant that, then he must be in his 60s.  I am in my 40s and my mom did not use the type of iron depicted in your picture.  She used one that plugged in.
 
2013-02-06 05:36:18 PM  
I wonder what Fark would come up with if we got to redo all of the pieces?  Sounds like it would be a fun photoshop contest.
 
2013-02-06 05:54:51 PM  

Truman Burbank: Game piece change? Meh. Been done before.

The travesty was when they changed Baltic and Mediterranean to be brown instead of purple.


wtf when did that happen, i guess it is to reflect the change in race in some areas
 
2013-02-06 06:10:17 PM  
As long as they don't take away the $1,329,063 bill.
 
2013-02-06 06:16:26 PM  

Mock26: I wonder what Fark would come up with if we got to redo all of the pieces?  Sounds like it would be a fun photoshop contest.


I propose, we go the whole hog and redo the whole board as well, as Farkopoly.

'Jail' Would be replaced by either 'Politics Tab' or 'Ballsack in slatted chair.'
 
2013-02-06 06:29:17 PM  
Stupid cats are stupid!
 
2013-02-06 06:48:19 PM  

LucklessWonder: I propose, we go the whole hog and redo the whole board as well, as Farkopoly.

'Jail' Would be replaced by either 'Politics Tab' or 'Ballsack in slatted chair.'


Every fifth space on the board will now be labeled "(Featured Partner)" and if you land there it gives you cancer.
 
2013-02-06 06:53:33 PM  
www.teufelaffe.com
 
2013-02-06 07:04:26 PM  
vodak
 
2013-02-06 07:07:47 PM  
We used to use the monopoly dog as a blink dog D&D miniature, you know, for all those times you have D&D campaigns with a blink dog.
 
2013-02-06 07:12:00 PM  

Altitude5280: Do they still have the thimbal?


No, but they still have the thimble.
 
2013-02-06 07:21:51 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-06 11:02:24 PM  

poot_rootbeer: LucklessWonder: I propose, we go the whole hog and redo the whole board as well, as Farkopoly.

'Jail' Would be replaced by either 'Politics Tab' or 'Ballsack in slatted chair.'

Every fifth space on the board will now be labeled "(Featured Partner)" and if you land there it gives you cancer.


Nice.
 
2013-02-06 11:47:55 PM  

gweilo8888: The only Monopoly edition worth playing:

[img42.imageshack.us image 800x549]
/and some brilliant typos on the Community Chest and Chance cards...


yes!
 
2013-02-07 12:10:14 AM  

RatOmeter: I've played the iron since I was a kid.  A couple of months ago my kids begged me to play Monopoly with them and, sure enough, I chose the iron.  When I was about 10 and playing Monopoly with a couple of friends, I heated the iron up on the bulb in a lamp, then pretended to "iron" one friend's leg.  She *did not* enjoy the welt it left.  She probably would have voted for the cat too.


This is seriously incorrect usage.  "Sure enough" is astatement of  catharsis, indicating that something you expected had come to pass, and you are reflecting sardonically on the inevitability of it.  The entire point of the phrasing is to invoke probabilistic  but not algorithmic certainty.  When you use it in this manner, you create dissonance -- you presuppose on the reader's behalf that you are completely out of control of your own actions, instead watching helplessly to see what next transpires.  As that is almost certainly not the case, it destroys the meaning of the word and creates confusion in the statement.  A better choice would have been "...and, same as always, ..." or something similar if you required the casual immediacy motif.
 
2013-02-07 12:15:33 AM  
So what's going to stop you from adding the iron from your old Monopoly to your new Monopoly and having both a cat AND an iron?
 
2013-02-07 12:53:53 AM  

The My Little Pony Killer: So what's going to stop you from adding the iron from your old Monopoly to your new Monopoly and having both a cat AND an iron?


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-07 01:05:29 AM  

Soulcatcher: They ruined Spirograph, Easy Bake Ovens, Farking tree climbing for that matter. Jacks are made out of rubber now. It's a miracle that the whole world isn't wrapped in 12 inches of farking foam in case some snowflake might fall down and get a grass stain on their pants.


You didn't do it, but it makes me laugh when I see these stories on Fark, because there's these kids who were clearly children in the 90s.  I graduated from high school in '93.  A lot of the gripes people have about kids these days are the same kinds of gripes you heard about my age group.  Yeah, there were kids who didn't get dirty when I was a kid.  They were the entitled kids in the 'burbs.  A lot like today.  When they get burnt by the Creepy Crawlers, mommy and daddy sue the bad ol' company who caused the hurt.  But we can't talk bad about the entitled kids because OMG SOCIALISM WHY POOR PEOPLE PICK ON US WHAR JUSTICE?

This looks like it's got the set I had as a kid beat all to heck:   Spirograph

Apparently Operation has "silly sounds" now.  Yet another "improvement" brought to us by technology.

Maybe you can tell me what's wrong with Easy Bake ovens other than not looking like an oven, or anything, really.  Here's an idea: maybe they could help Mom and Dad make real food.  You know, because the little shiats will have to eventually, unless the pwecious snowfwakes are too good to do any actual work when they're kids.  I mean, shiat, when I was 7, my older daughter's age, when other kids were out skinning their knees and staining their pants playing, I was helping with stuff like weeding the garden, and firewood.  When I read Farkers' stories of childhood, I always think, "Well, la-dee-da, didn't we live in the lap of luxury?"

And what the hell are you on about with jacks?

I don't know how you ruin tree climbing, unless we're talking about these farkwits who will go to a wooded lot, then start their homebuilding project by cutting down all the farking trees.  Yeah, the trees will be about 6' tall by the time your kids have moved out and refuse to talk to you for the next 20 years because you moved to a crappy neighborhood where the HOA prevented them from having any fun and living someplace that's a twisty-turny maze of cul-de-sacs filled with brown houses and no trees farking sucks.  Entitled morons.
 
2013-02-07 01:08:28 AM  
The cat is not so bad.  If you get tired of it, you can always use it to beat a rug.
 
2013-02-07 01:10:06 AM  

Keigh: oh my god yes. when i was a kid, my grandma still had my dad's old spirograph kit. with a piece of cardboard and thumbtacks to hold the paper and the frame down.

Now-a-days, you've gotta punch it onto posts, i think, and cross your fingers that it stays while you're almost to the point where you started and the lines are going to match up perfectly and doesn't slip off and ruin your whole design. and i don't even think anything holds the whole thing to the table.

and they call this progress.


If by "progress" you mean "the way they made the sets in the early 80s".  That's how they worked when I got a set in, oh, I don't know, 1982 maybe.  In the 90s they tried to replace the plastic pins with a desk thingy, and now they use putty.
 
2013-02-07 02:21:43 AM  

PanicMan: cgraves67: I would've preferred the helicopter, but if they still have the battleship, I'll be cool.

Oh man there was a helicopter option?! Dammit, why didn't that win?  For shame, internet!


I said the same thing.  I was all like, "Oh, stupid vote."

Then I saw the helicopter lost and I was farking incensed.
 
2013-02-07 02:57:57 AM  
And the award for the nerdiest Monopoly set goes to...

duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com
Bletchley Park for their Alan Turing commemorative edition.
duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com
Alan Turing being famous for, among other things, helping break the Enigma cipher used by Germany in WWII.
duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com
As well as his hypothetical test of humans' ability to discern between sentient-like machine behavior, and a real person.
 
2013-02-07 05:57:23 AM  

Truman Burbank: Game piece change? Meh. Been done before.

The travesty was when they changed Baltic and Mediterranean to be brown instead of purple.


I always loved to snag those as early as possible and play slumlord.
 
2013-02-07 08:14:53 AM  

Amishrabbit: And the award for the nerdiest Monopoly set goes to...

[duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com image 502x349]
Bletchley Park for their Alan Turing commemorative edition.
[duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com image 387x259]
Alan Turing being famous for, among other things, helping break the Enigma cipher used by Germany in WWII.
[duckrabbitmedia.files.wordpress.com image 292x236]
As well as his hypothetical test of humans' ability to discern between sentient-like machine behavior, and a real person.


Man, that's gay.
 
2013-02-07 08:59:46 AM  

Teufelaffe: [www.teufelaffe.com image 500x505]


I always use the rape van token when I play that version...
 
2013-02-07 10:24:01 AM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-02-07 07:02:30 PM  

Dokushin: RatOmeter: I've played the iron since I was a kid.  A couple of months ago my kids begged me to play Monopoly with them and, sure enough, I chose the iron.  When I was about 10 and playing Monopoly with a couple of friends, I heated the iron up on the bulb in a lamp, then pretended to "iron" one friend's leg.  She *did not* enjoy the welt it left.  She probably would have voted for the cat too.

This is seriously incorrect usage.  "Sure enough" is astatement of  catharsis, indicating that something you expected had come to pass, and you are reflecting sardonically on the inevitability of it.  The entire point of the phrasing is to invoke probabilistic  but not algorithmic certainty.  When you use it in this manner, you create dissonance -- you presuppose on the reader's behalf that you are completely out of control of your own actions, instead watching helplessly to see what next transpires.  As that is almost certainly not the case, it destroys the meaning of the word and creates confusion in the statement.  A better choice would have been "...and, same as always, ..." or something similar if you required the casual immediacy motif.


Hrmmm.  I think I failed to convey that I hadn't played nor thought of the game for at least a couple of decades before my progeny implored me to participate - and that I, without thinking, reached for the iron.

Anyway, I enjoyed your most eloquent correctional rant on my linguistic usage of the world's most favored bastard language.
 
2013-02-07 07:34:12 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: So what's going to stop you from adding the iron from your old Monopoly to your new Monopoly and having both a cat AND an iron?


Exactly.  This new token only affects law-abiding players.
 
Displayed 170 of 170 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report