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(Pacific Standard Magazine)   Wives who earn more than their husbands are boner killers   (psmag.com) divider line 68
    More: Amusing, Los Angeles Daily News, Ventura County Star, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, social psychologies, Santa Barbara News-Press, Tom Jacobs  
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2127 clicks; posted to Geek » on 06 Feb 2013 at 9:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 08:16:01 AM
men in that ego-deflating situation are significantly more likely to use erectile dysfunction drugs.

They sound insecure.

/wife makes more than me
//Dooonnn't Caaaarre!
///want her too make even more so I can stop working
 
2013-02-06 08:35:13 AM
It hasn't been a problem for me.
 
2013-02-06 08:35:41 AM
More like men who can't get over archaic ideas of gender roles kill their own boners.
 
2013-02-06 08:50:58 AM
That's fine, cause boners don't pay the bills, bucko.

/Now swallow your pills and get in this bedroom.
 
2013-02-06 09:01:26 AM
Wives who earn eat more than their husbands are boner killers

Fixed.
 
2013-02-06 09:17:17 AM
Not an issue for me. I took a pay cut to get back into the IT field, while my wife is working in accounting at a local bank. I came home yesterday and saw that our son was taking a nap. The fact that she makes more money then I do, did not kill my boner and we had a quickie. So........ I'm gonna go with no.
 
2013-02-06 09:17:58 AM
My fiance has never been bothered that I make more than he does, and is incredibly supportive of my plans to further my career and education.  As I am with his, of course.
 
2013-02-06 09:18:57 AM
Is this the token Fark "in denial" thread? It's ok, guys, we know how you really feel thanks to science.

/unmarried
//these results are not even remotely surprising
 
2013-02-06 09:26:29 AM
I freaking WISH my wife had more earning potential than me, I would LOVE to be a stay at home dad.  But I'm the one with a college education.
 
2013-02-06 09:29:40 AM
My stay at home Dad boner is just fine, thanks.
 
2013-02-06 09:31:32 AM
Not exactly the same but my ex-wife was an E.R. Doc and was never around and when she was she always so burnt out.
That makes for a pretty lack lust marriage no matter how much she was earning.

My girl friend is a hair dresser and multiple times a week we meet on my lunch hour, and after I get out of work, and sometimes in the middle of night, or first thing in the morning or in the shower. Matter of fact sometimes I worry I won't be able to keep up.

So it's not the money it's the trade off of time and happiness in pursuit of the money.
She can keep her money, and I will wake up every morning with a smile on my face.
 
2013-02-06 09:31:32 AM

LadyHawke: My fiance has never been bothered that I make more than he does, and is incredibly supportive of my plans to further my career and education.  As I am with his, of course.


He is a good liar.
 
2013-02-06 09:31:43 AM
So the underlying assumption is that men who have a wife earning more feel emasculated.  Which means they're either very insecure or they have a wife who takes advantage of the situation and actually does emasculate him. Or a bit of both.
 
2013-02-06 09:32:47 AM

nekom: I freaking WISH my wife had more earning potential than me, I would LOVE to be a stay at home dad.  But I'm the one with a college education.


This.
 
2013-02-06 09:34:21 AM
I wonder how much of this is actually men having issues with gender roles, versus self selection involving men with lower testosterone levels achieving less, with a sprinkling of people with health issues causing lower career growth and ED.

/not curious enough to RTFA though.
 
2013-02-06 09:35:40 AM
I fail to see the problem with this.
 
2013-02-06 09:52:49 AM

abhorrent1: men in that ego-deflating situation are significantly more likely to use erectile dysfunction drugs.

They sound insecure.

/wife makes more than me
//Dooonnn't Caaaarre!
///want her too make even more so I can stop working


This right here. If the wife made more than me, it'd take some of the pressure off. My income supports most of our expenses. Her income helps pay her student loans and sets some aside for savings. If she made more than me, I could pay fewer on expenses and set more of my money aside for savings, and we'd both come out with more money.
 
2013-02-06 09:57:37 AM

crab66: LadyHawke: My fiance has never been bothered that I make more than he does, and is incredibly supportive of my plans to further my career and education.  As I am with his, of course.

He is a good liar.


His actions prove otherwise.
 
2013-02-06 10:05:37 AM

Gulper Eel: Wives who earn eat more than their husbands are boner killers

Fixed.


A++ would LOL again

nekom: I freaking WISH my wife had more earning potential than me, I would LOVE to be a stay at home dad.  But I'm the one with a college education.


My wife, who is 10 years younger, just got her first offer for a really good management job.  Since she'll be able to support us both, I'm taking the opportunity to go back and finish school.  We're also planning to have a baby this year, so I'll be on extra dad duty when I'm not in class.  I'm really looking forward to it.

It's a win-win, since she gets valuable experience on her resume and I get the benefit of a BS/MS in Physics.  I don't see why anyone would choose to let themselves stagnate just because their wife would be making more money.  The whole point of having two people in a marriage is to help each other out.
 
2013-02-06 10:07:18 AM

Z-clipped: Gulper Eel: Wives who earn eat more than their husbands are boner killers

Fixed.

A++ would LOL again

nekom: I freaking WISH my wife had more earning potential than me, I would LOVE to be a stay at home dad.  But I'm the one with a college education.

My wife, who is 10 years younger, just got her first offer for a really good management job.  Since she'll be able to support us both, I'm taking the opportunity to go back and finish school.  We're also planning to have a baby this year, so I'll be on extra dad duty when I'm not in class.  I'm really looking forward to it.

It's a win-win, since she gets valuable experience on her resume and I get the benefit of a BS/MS in Physics.  I don't see why anyone would choose to let themselves stagnate just because their wife would be making more money.  The whole point of having two people in a marriage is to help each other out.


Totally agreed!  I love that my fiance and I have a true partnership where we are both equals.  Congrats to your wife on the job offer, and hope you enjoy going back to school!
 
2013-02-06 10:16:39 AM

LadyHawke: crab66: LadyHawke: My fiance has never been bothered that I make more than he does, and is incredibly supportive of my plans to further my career and education.  As I am with his, of course.

He is a good liar.

His actions prove otherwise.


Psshh... this clearly means nothing.
You're adorable.  If you were 200lbs and homely, there would be a candy dish of blue pills on the coffee table.  Mark my words.
 
2013-02-06 10:20:31 AM
I'm with so many of you. My wife makes a lot more than I do, and I can barely leave her alone.

Smart, successful and pretty. The opposite of boner killer.
 
2013-02-06 10:23:07 AM

LadyHawke: Totally agreed! I love that my fiance and I have a true partnership where we are both equals.


s3.hubimg.com

I know a lucky man when I see one, because I am one.  May you have good fortune, and a long life together.
 
2013-02-06 10:26:11 AM

Z-clipped: LadyHawke: Totally agreed! I love that my fiance and I have a true partnership where we are both equals.

[s3.hubimg.com image 520x222]

I know a lucky man when I see one, because I am one.  May you have good fortune, and a long life together.


Thank you; that certainly is the plan!  And may the only "boner-killer" in your relationship be your wife's hoo-ha, taking anywhere from five minutes to over an hour to finish the job. :)
 
2013-02-06 10:29:32 AM
I don't buy it. With all the free time I have while she works to pay the bills, I have plenty of attention to focus on sexy times.

Hell, when I was working I was way too stressed and/or busy to care about sexy time. Without work all I think about is taking care of the kids and then sex.
 
2013-02-06 10:32:32 AM

LadyHawke: Z-clipped: LadyHawke: Totally agreed! I love that my fiance and I have a true partnership where we are both equals.

[s3.hubimg.com image 520x222]

I know a lucky man when I see one, because I am one.  May you have good fortune, and a long life together.

Thank you; that certainly is the plan!  And may the only "boner-killer" in your relationship be your wife's hoo-ha, taking anywhere from five minutes to over an hour to finish the job. :)


You two are my heros of well-wishing for the day.
 
2013-02-06 10:49:59 AM

Z-clipped: If you were 200lbs and homely, there would be a candy dish of blue pills on the coffee table. Mark my words.


I think that would be the case regardless of her income
 
2013-02-06 11:22:52 AM
 I don't think this is a cause.  I don't think if your wife suddenly starts making more than you, you just go limp.  I suspect a more likely explanation is that women who are ambitious prefer to be the dominant ones in the relationship and choose males that don't display those traditionally male characteristics, which could be attributed to  a lower production of male hormones that also causes the soft rod.

And why is it when women start making a lot of money, they still don't want to pay for anything?  I started dating a lawyer, thinking she has money...maybe she will pick up the occasional bill......nope.
 
2013-02-06 11:53:04 AM
While when we first met I made a lot more than my wife, but now she makes more than triple what I make. She owns a much larger share of the company we both work for than I do as she was one of the founders. Not only does she make more, but since a few years into our relationship I started working for her company she is (indirectly) my boss. I don't report to her, but she is the one that approves my department's budgets. Despite all this my unrelenting desire to hump her twice a day has not diminished one bit.

What kind of insecure fools are these men? Having a wife that makes more money than you do is pure awesome. After basically supporting all the serious girlfriends I had in the 90s it's a really refreshing change knowing that her income alone could easily float both of us.
 
2013-02-06 12:18:57 PM

Pumpernickel bread: And why is it when women start making a lot of money, they still don't want to pay for anything?


Entitlement.
 
2013-02-06 12:32:36 PM
I already make a decent salary, so if I found a woman that earned close to, or more than what I do, it would be on.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-02-06 12:33:24 PM
Wife makes far more money than me. I have noticed no perceptible change in boner characteristics.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:04 PM
Awesome! Good news for me. I adore dating a hot mechanic or construction guy. So as long as I keep dating and marry a man who makes less than me right at the start, I'll keep getting laid!

Move along rich guys, unless you are super-super rich, I will be out earning you someday ;)
 
2013-02-06 12:58:01 PM
There is nothing on this earth sexier, believe me, gentlemen, than a woman you have to salute in the morning. Promote 'em all, I say, because this is true - if you haven't gotten a blow-job from a superior officer, well, you're just letting the best in life pass you by. 'Course, my problem is, I'm a colonel, so I guess I'll just have to keep taking cold showers until they elect some gal president

- Col. Nathan R. Jessup,  "A Few Good Men"
 
2013-02-06 01:01:35 PM
Maybe these guys are just tired out from all the side action they're getting while their significant others are out trying to earn a living.
 
2013-02-06 01:07:01 PM
Count me in as another guy who things it is friggin sweet that his wife makes more than he does, and it has no negative impacts on our romantic life.  Either one of us would be fine financially on our own...but when our powers combine!

Of course, she makes something like 30% more than me, not double or triple, but it is still quite nice.  And as for not feeling masculine?  I can still work a chainsaw, chop firewood, snake a clogged drain, build a table, carry 10 grocery bags at once, cook great hamburgers, brew my own beer from grain, and pick her up with 1 arm...so I feel pretty secure with myself.

/Due for a raise though
 
2013-02-06 01:08:08 PM

Yomoxu: Is this the token Fark "in denial" thread?


aren't they all?

in order for men to feel emasculated they would have to have been masculine at some point in their lives

my wife brings home the bacon in our house, but i don't feel emasculated at all

i stay home and breast feed the babies, and sometimes i dress up in a french maid mini skirt to show her how manly i can be, it really gets her motor running

cause we are equal partners, that's why men always have to pay for the bill

www.eonline.com
 
2013-02-06 01:16:31 PM
I get rock hard at the thought of Mrs Uranus earning more than me. Less financial pressure ought to be really good for the libido.
 
2013-02-06 01:23:21 PM

I drunk what: Yomoxu: Is this the token Fark "in denial" thread?

aren't they all?

in order for men to feel emasculated they would have to have been masculine at some point in their lives

my wife brings home the bacon in our house, but i don't feel emasculated at all

i stay home and breast feed the babies, and sometimes i dress up in a french maid mini skirt to show her how manly i can be, it really gets her motor running

cause we are equal partners, that's why men always have to pay for the bill

[www.eonline.com image 293x429]


Do you look like this?
 
2013-02-06 01:28:12 PM

abhorrent1: men in that ego-deflating situation are significantly more likely to use erectile dysfunction drugs.

They sound insecure.

/wife makes more than me
//Dooonnn't Caaaarre!
///want her too make even more so I can stop working


Wife does make more than me and I DID stop working. It's great!

/raise our 10 month old and 6 year old though
//teach martial arts on the side
///have a boner right now
 
2013-02-06 01:35:54 PM
My wife earns more than I do, and always has. Believe me, I got over it a loooooooong time ago.

You know why she makes more than I do? Because she's worth more, that's why. She is thoroughly competent, unflaggingly professional and relentlessly task-driven. Therefore, she has more billable hours than she knows what to do with.

Fair is fair. It really is that simple.
 
2013-02-06 01:55:54 PM
This is this first year since before we had gotten married that the Mrs. has equal or better earning potential. I look at this as a joint effort and have supported her career throughout our relationship.  My wife is in retail management and for 12 years, there has been a "glass ceiling" of district management she has been trying to pierce and she has finally been successful in doing so.  During that time, I have had to forgo her company during holidays, weekends, evenings, overnights for inventory or ad resets, and generally endured her horrendous hours.  Now her schedule is normalized with an added bonus of additional income.  To look at our incomes as two separate items makes no sense.  Effort towards our career success is borne by both of us.
 
2013-02-06 02:08:00 PM
Unless they are big brawny hairy testosterone charged caveman lumberjack types whose white collar worker wives swoon at the faintest scent of their grease stained sweaty t-shirts.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:36 PM
I wonder if a study like this ever considers the generation of the people involved.

For Boomers or so, sure, I can see how it might be a stress point. Xers or younger, nope. Just a generally more egalitarian attitude for the younger set.

My wife earns about 3x what I do. It makes for a very comfortable lifestyle and it hasn't hurt anything about our relationship. My hours are not as long as and are more flexible than hers, so I do most of the housework (cooking, laundry, etc.). We've found a balance that works for us.

If a couple is steeped in "the man provides" thinking, then sure, I can see it as a stress point, but if they see their relationship as a partnership of equals it won't cause a problem.
 
2013-02-06 02:20:33 PM

lordargent: I already make a decent salary, so if I found a woman that earned close to, or more than what I do, it would be on.


My boyfriend and I want the bumper sticker on the right. We're quite content with supporting ourselves and the cat on our collective wages.

/I do make more... part of the year
//educator
 
2013-02-06 02:23:39 PM

abhorrent1: men in that ego-deflating situation are significantly more likely to use erectile dysfunction drugs.

They sound insecure.

/wife makes more than me
//Dooonnn't Caaaarre!
///want her too make even more so I can stop working


Done in one. My fiancee's about to start making more than me and I CAN'T WAIT! It'll allow us to start living our lives on our own terms.
 
2013-02-06 02:45:52 PM

akula: If a couple is steeped in "the man provides" thinking


oh don't worry, there aren't any of them left

To Progress!

3.bp.blogspot.com

one day when she comes home from war, i'll be holding our babies with tears running down my dress, i hope she dips me down before giving me a kiss, i love it

i just hope she doesn't smudge my makeup
 
2013-02-06 03:03:56 PM
Alternate explanation: She chooses where the money goes, and spends it in a way that increases her satisfaction.
 
2013-02-06 03:33:37 PM

akula: I wonder if a study like this ever considers the generation of the people involved.

For Boomers or so, sure, I can see how it might be a stress point. Xers or younger, nope. Just a generally more egalitarian attitude for the younger set.

My wife earns about 3x what I do. It makes for a very comfortable lifestyle and it hasn't hurt anything about our relationship. My hours are not as long as and are more flexible than hers, so I do most of the housework (cooking, laundry, etc.). We've found a balance that works for us.

If a couple is steeped in "the man provides" thinking, then sure, I can see it as a stress point, but if they see their relationship as a partnership of equals it won't cause a problem.


Excellent points.

My boomer mom cannot fathom the wife makes more than me (she always has, even when I made great money). She seems offended by it, even.

Old people's problems.
 
2013-02-06 03:48:43 PM
What a wife who earns more than her husband (and it is, according to FTA, a boner killer) looks like:

imgace.com
 
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