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(Denver Post)   Not news: 7-year-old student suspended. Fark: For tossing imaginary hand-grenade during recess   (denverpost.com) divider line 186
    More: Asinine  
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6796 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 1:57 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-05 11:59:16 PM  
FTA:The district does not discuss disciplinary issues, but Scheer said there's more to the story than he was able to comment on.

"There's a whole student side that we just don't talk about," he said. "It's a bit one-sided with the parent's point of view."


I'd imagine with a lot of these cases there's a side to the story that the district can't comment on because of privacy reasons.  When I was in high school I saw a teacher push a girl, which in context wasn't that bad (he pushed her out of the classroom for throwing the phone at him, fortunately she got tangled up in the cord and missed him), but she went around telling everyone he freaked out and pushed her but she was suspended for doing nothing wrong.
 
2013-02-05 11:59:43 PM  
When I was 7 we used to play Americans vs Nazis at recess. We killed each other until we were dead over and over. Pew, pew, pew. When it became 30 kids in a sprawling mass shooting each other and yelling AHH! and then flailing around on the ground when we died, the gestapo made us quit.
 
2013-02-06 12:06:20 AM  
Seriously.......I had a toy .45 ACP and a toy grenade I used to bring to school for recess. The only rule was I couldn't use the caps that you could put into the grenade or the .45 ACP.  Like shanrick said there was a lot of screaming and kids flailing around in their death throes. Man up Nancy boys.
 
2013-02-06 12:07:53 AM  
If every kid was armed with an imaginary grenade, this wouldn't be a problem.

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-06 12:15:32 AM  
"Watkins said Alex's story matched up with the principal's account: He threw the pretend grenade at an imaginary box that had something evil inside."


He threw it at the school?
 
2013-02-06 12:22:32 AM  
listverse.com

"I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it."
 
2013-02-06 12:26:08 AM  
In related news, Jim Henson's Muppet Babies have been arrested under suspicion of terrorism.
 
2013-02-06 12:28:02 AM  
If that kid doesn't straighten up, he'll never earn his imaginary high school diploma, and will never be able to join the imaginary US military to kill the imaginary terrorists that are threatening our imaginary freedoms.
 
2013-02-06 12:32:59 AM  

shanrick: When I was 7 we used to play Americans vs Nazis at recess. We killed each other until we were dead over and over. Pew, pew, pew. When it became 30 kids in a sprawling mass shooting each other and yelling AHH! and then flailing around on the ground when we died, the gestapo made us quit.


Which is not too different from children playing cowboys and Indians years ago. And we had cap guns!

OH NOES!
 
2013-02-06 12:42:07 AM  
When imaginary grenades are outlawed, only outlaws will have imaginary grenades.
 
2013-02-06 12:42:49 AM  

Amos Quito: If that kid doesn't straighten up, he'll never earn his imaginary high school diploma, and will never be able to join the imaginary US military to kill the imaginary terrorists that are threatening our imaginary freedoms.


i can't imagine! what a shame
 
2013-02-06 01:06:33 AM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: In related news, Jim Henson's Muppet Babies have been arrested under suspicion of terrorism.


They look foreign.  Have you seen that Gonzo fellow?  "Gonzo" isn't even an American name.
 
2013-02-06 01:09:34 AM  
Meanwhile kids at the Catholic school say he should be glad that's all he had to toss.
 
2013-02-06 01:26:08 AM  
I understand their point, he didn't pretend to have a demolitions license.  Also, he destroyed the evil instead of letting it go.  The pretend military industrial complex also had a problem with this.
 
2013-02-06 01:39:43 AM  
If only he had a gun he wouldn't have to stand for this tyranny

//time for bed
 
2013-02-06 01:43:47 AM  

cretinbob: If only he had a gun he wouldn't have to stand for this tyranny

//time for bed


He should have imagined one.
 
2013-02-06 01:50:09 AM  

fusillade762: "I have caught word that a child is using his imagination and I've come to put a stop to it."


evergreenterrace.com.au

The children are overstimulated. Willy, remove the colored chalk from the classrooms.
I WARNED YOU! That chalk was forged by Lucifer himself!
 
2013-02-06 01:56:27 AM  
This sort of nonsense reminds me of when my elementary school banned marbles. Marbles were huge at my school and there was an active trading network in place with each type having a specific value. Anyway, one of the many convoluted rules involved required the loser of a game to "scramble" their marble, meaning they would throw it into a group of kids and whoever came up with the marble now owned it.

One day some kid lost a game and was forced to scrambled his highly valuable marble. I remember being in that crowd, jostling with my friends in order to get a good position, hoping that I would get a chance to win the prize. The kid took some kind of Olympic discuss thrower's throw and launched the marble way over our heads and smacked some poor kid who was just walking by right in the head. I remember the kid just hitting the ground like he'd been shot followed by the stunned silence of the crowd as we all looked at each other in shock and disbelief. Then we all booked it, each running for his or her life.

The result: marbles were banned. A letter was sent home with every student to instruct their parents that these potentially dangerous weapons were a threat to their children. Not surprisingly, this simply created an active and vibrant underground black market for marbles. They were traded in secret, games were played behind a specific portable with lookouts for teachers ever vigilant. Teachers responded by cracking down even further; they would do spot searches of students. Those caught with marbles were punished severely and detentions quickly escalated to suspensions and yet kids kept playing marbles, regardless of the consequences.

I was only about 8 years old when this all went down, but I learned a valuable lesson. Banning something doesn't make it magically disappear and you can't simply legislate human behaviour away. Kids will play at war, cowboys and indians or marbles because it's fun, nuff said.

/CSS
 
2013-02-06 01:58:06 AM  
It was only an imaginary grenade, maybe they could just imagine they suspended him?
 
2013-02-06 02:02:07 AM  
He should have invoked his invisible 2nd amendment to bear invisible arms. Thanks a lot Obama
 
2013-02-06 02:03:22 AM  
Not cool.  Mr. Snuffleupagus could have been killed.
 
2013-02-06 02:04:26 AM  
Fallout from their proximity to the Peoples' Republic of Boulder.
 
2013-02-06 02:05:11 AM  
Its a sad world when adults are more afraid of the product of a child's imagination than the child themselves.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:07 AM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: In related news, Jim Henson's Muppet Babies have been arrested under suspicion of terrorism.


As long as they don't wake Officer Caruthers I'm sure they won't get charged.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:12 AM  
This is unimaginably stupid.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:30 AM  
"Watkins said her son has been in trouble one other time at the school, for accessing other students' reading accounts on the computer"

He's a seven-year-old hacker? Anonymous sure starts them out young.
 
2013-02-06 02:07:45 AM  
At least he won't grow up to be a mime.
 
2013-02-06 02:08:42 AM  
My last year of high school my friends and I were making pipe bombs and blowing stuff up.  If we'd have been caught (and we nearly were once) it would have been a suspension and a slap on the wrist, probably involving some community service.  These days we probably would have our entire lives screwed up due to being branded a terrorist.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:46 AM  
Well, at least you idiots are doing something against imaginary weapons.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:57 AM  
When I was in grade school a bunch of students were throwing rocks, and one hit me in the head. It didn't hurt, but there was a lot of blood.
<imaginary outcome> From then on, all rocks and pebbles were banned from the school yard </imaginary outcome>.
 
2013-02-06 02:11:17 AM  
Suspensions should be done away with unless a kid is physically uncontrolable.  How is it a good thing to take a kid out of school (a 7 y/o no less)?  Especially that young, being sent home is a reward not a punishment.

DERP
 
2013-02-06 02:11:37 AM  
They suspended him for doing an old NFL touchdown celebration?
 
2013-02-06 02:11:45 AM  
subspacecomms.com
Don't drop it, Harry!
 
2013-02-06 02:12:18 AM  

vudutek: If every kid was armed with an imaginary grenade, this wouldn't be a problem.

[farm9.staticflickr.com image 500x281]


What you said there is funny because it fits perfectly.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:55 AM  
You have only heard the derpy parent's side. Probably a reoccurring event.

/probably...
 
2013-02-06 02:13:37 AM  

cedarpark: When I was in grade school a bunch of students were throwing rocks, and one hit me in the head. It didn't hurt, but there was a lot of blood.
<imaginary outcome> From then on, all rocks and pebbles were banned from the school yard </imaginary outcome>.


All surfaces must now be rounded.  The playground shall henceforth be made of foam padding no more rigid than nerf materiel.  All contact with any other kid is a suspension.  Eye contact is also a suspension.
 
2013-02-06 02:13:45 AM  

Red Shirt Blues: Seriously.......I had a toy .45 ACP and a toy grenade I used to bring to school for recess. The only rule was I couldn't use the caps that you could put into the grenade or the .45 ACP.  Like shanrick said there was a lot of screaming and kids flailing around in their death throes. Man up Nancy boys.


I had walkie-talkies with a decent range. Many an operation to save the world was coordinated on those bad boys at recess. Casualties are an unfortunate necessary evil.

/We've got friendlies down by the yellow slide
//I repeat: man down by yellow slide
///Enemy appears to be gathering by the big swings. Stay alert.
 
2013-02-06 02:14:19 AM  
moonbattery.com

Here we see an image of the President engaged in a gun battle. Call the Secret Service.
 
2013-02-06 02:15:33 AM  

PapaChester: You have only heard the derpy parent's side. Probably a reoccurring event.

/probably...


Even if its a reoccurring event, how is this a bad thing?  Kids have always played some version of cops/robbers, cowboys/indians, Axis/Allies, Coalition/Terrorist.  How is this just now a problem?
 
2013-02-06 02:15:41 AM  
The older I get the happier I am not to have kids.  Our society has sacrificed everything in the name of safety, and not gotten one iota safer.  I blame everyone because we did this to our selves by allowing insurance companies and lawsuits to dictate policy.
 
2013-02-06 02:16:31 AM  
Seriously? Back in my day, my school did a mock farking Civil War battle, as an OFFICIAL EVENT. And the kind of imaginary wars we got into at recess would've landed us in farking prison at this rate.
 
2013-02-06 02:16:31 AM  
That kid needs some pharmaceuticals stat! Quick, get him hooked on properly medicated with some powerful psychostimulants immediately. It is his only hope.
 
2013-02-06 02:16:40 AM  
media.comicvine.com


Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't ya think?
 
2013-02-06 02:17:04 AM  
We used to make blow darts out of sewing needles, scotch tape and a half inch piece of shoelace (frayed at the end). We'd try to shoot each other in the back with these things out of the tube from a disassembled Bic pen. This was great (occasionally painful) fun until one of our history teachers got caught in the crossfire one day. Nobody got expelled, but the message came down from our dean that it was to stop.
Of course, this was a private prep school in Connecticut,so many of those involved probably became hedge fund managers.
 
2013-02-06 02:17:05 AM  
At my junior high school, magic the gathering was very popular at the time. The library would be full, every table filled with kids quietly playing the game. Of all the things that kids could be doing at recess, quietly playing cards seems like an administrator's dream.
Then the thugs came. Five of them, acting like a gang, who would walk up to a table and snatch your cards in plain sight. The teachers were oddly scared of those five, giving responses of 'you should have put your names on the cards then." They'd later offer to sell you your cards back, or they'd trash them. Eventually, a group of us got fed up and we put together a formal statement, detailing stuff like names, places, value of cards lost, acts of intimidation and violence, and we marched to the principal's office and presented it one lunch period.
Next day: Magic the Gathering was banned.

Oh it gets better.
Those five eventually started wearing their hats backwards as a gang sign. School solution? Ban hats. Our baseball team was only allowed to wear their baseball hats during baseball games at away games because of the rule.

Turns out, those five were the crotchfruit of the school board.
 
2013-02-06 02:19:12 AM  

cedarpark: When I was in grade school . . .


Read that as gradschool, with predicted results.

/send keyboard to . . .
 
2013-02-06 02:19:46 AM  
Articles like this make me feel safer every day..........

/showed a pocket knife I got as a gift to my elementary school teacher once
//"cool knife"
 
2013-02-06 02:19:56 AM  

fifthhorseman: The older I get the happier I am not to have kids.  Our society has sacrificed everything in the name of safety, and not gotten one iota safer.  I blame everyone because we did this to our selves by allowing insurance companies and lawsuits to dictate policy.


Plus, it's probably contributing to kids being fatasses. Sure, video games and such don't help, but this kind of shiat is making it LESS fun to actually go outside and farking *play*.
 
2013-02-06 02:20:21 AM  
s17.postimage.org
 
2013-02-06 02:20:36 AM  
Maybe this is the way kids LEARN how to solve problems? By playing?
 
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