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(Jezebel)   The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"   ( jezebel.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, sex predator, p.f. chang, Amy Pond  
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10631 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



635 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-02-06 12:19:48 AM  
Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.
 
2013-02-06 12:22:57 AM  
"I have a well in my basement that you would look so good in" isn't a compliment that works very well, at least in my experience.
 
2013-02-06 12:35:25 AM  
The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.
 
2013-02-06 12:46:06 AM  
bie?

eip
 
2013-02-06 12:47:14 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques
 
2013-02-06 12:49:05 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-06 12:49:24 AM  
Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.
 
2013-02-06 12:50:16 AM  
It just burns me up when they tell me to keep my hands to myself.
 
2013-02-06 12:50:49 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


False.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:05 AM  

Genevieve Marie: The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.


Waitaminute, you mean those bartenders all think I'm creepy? Drats, time to hit on them outside when they get off of work.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:09 AM  
If you think about things as much as this article would have you, then no two people would ever get together on the planet, ever.

The point is not to "never take the chance of offending" it's to learn to give up when you get a negative sign. If guys did that, everyone would be better off, but there would still be a good number of success stories. If she says no, take it for that and move on. And then women would be more likely to just say no rather than maybe, which they might feel obligated because it's "nicer"

Follow all the guidelines here--even the first one mentioned "does she want to be talked to?" how the fark should I know? You could always answer that "well, maybe not, I'd better not say anything"--and women would never be asked out. Then they'd complain about that...oh wait they already do.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:22 AM  
When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."
 
2013-02-06 12:51:38 AM  
You make it sound like being a weirdo creeper is a bad thing...
 
2013-02-06 12:52:22 AM  
So are you saying "Does this rag smell like ether to you?" isn't a good pickup line?

/because I've gotten great responses with it
//well... maybe more like unresponsive, but still...
 
2013-02-06 12:52:31 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."


just be yourself.  you know, act natural
 
2013-02-06 12:52:56 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."


Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:15 AM  
The Dobler/Dahmer theory?
 
2013-02-06 12:53:35 AM  
I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:47 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques


I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:55 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.


Legitimate example of begging the question.

/yes? no? In before rhetoric nazis?
 
2013-02-06 12:54:13 AM  

Christian Bale: Follow all the guidelines here--even the first one mentioned "does she want to be talked to?" how the fark should I know? You could always answer that "well, maybe not, I'd better not say anything"--and women would never be asked out. Then they'd complain about that...oh wait they already do.


That was in relation to a woman you don't know at all who's just walking around going about her day. Not someone you've met through work or friends or at a party or at a bar. Just some stranger going about their day.
 
2013-02-06 12:54:48 AM  

Wayne 985: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.


You never know, this one just might be different.
 
2013-02-06 12:55:22 AM  

GardenWeasel: The Dobler/Dahmer theory?


That was one of the better terms coined by that show in awhile. I liked that one.
 
2013-02-06 12:56:25 AM  
I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income
 
2013-02-06 12:56:52 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


When guys compliment my shoes, I can never tell if I'm being hit on or if the guy's gay. It's not always easy to figure out. It took me a few weeks once before I figured out if this one acquaintance was an overly friendly metrosexual who'd spent too much time living in Europe or if he was gay.
 
2013-02-06 12:57:05 AM  
Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.
 
2013-02-06 12:58:31 AM  

feffer: I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?

Once again, Fark advice proves to be counter-productive and only good for self-sabotage. But, hey, would we want it any other way?
 
2013-02-06 12:59:07 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?


Pick Up Artist.
 
2013-02-06 12:59:21 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.


I always liked "buy me a drink and I will allow you to swoon at my booted feet" better myself. Whether the reaction is positive or negative, its always amusing, and lets face it, classier than "want to go halfsies on a baby?"
 
2013-02-06 01:00:02 AM  

DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income



Is your friend Andre from "The League"?
 
2013-02-06 01:00:11 AM  
Pick-up Artist.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-02-06 01:00:20 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: feffer: I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.

PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?

Once again, Fark advice proves to be counter-productive and only good for self-sabotage. But, hey, would we want it any other way?


Pick Up Artist. A truly weird culture of really creepy people.
 
2013-02-06 01:01:52 AM  

The_Sponge: DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income


Is your friend Andre from "The League"?


Nope, he's an IT consultant, and one of those guys who, whenever you see him with a girl, you ask "How the hell did he get her?"

/Unless you know about the ATM receipt thing.
 
2013-02-06 01:02:44 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


What you describe is the female equivalent reaction of a ham-faced she-beast coming on to you.

You don't want uggos flirting with you, and you probably think them creepy as well.

/ham-faced uggo
 
2013-02-06 01:03:33 AM  

BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.


I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.
 
2013-02-06 01:03:52 AM  

DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income


how much did he keep in his friggin bank account?


what are you, an immigrant?
www.nbc.com
 
2013-02-06 01:05:22 AM  
FTFA:
If You Sit Next to Her On a PlaneNope. Leave her alone. Unless we're on Rihanna's 777 plane or your voice holds the secret to making our Xanax kick in faster, we don't want to talk to you.


What kind of stupid blanket rule is this?  That being said, I have never tried getting somebody's number on a plane.

CSB:

Back in 2004 I was on a short flight from Phoenix to Vegas.  I had an aisle seat, this cute girl in the middle, and this douche was next to the window.  I left her alone, but Mr. Douche tried way too hard....like showing off his new Motorola RAZR phone, and mentioning how he had connections at a few clubs in Vegas.

I did my best not to laugh...especially when he thought that showing off his phone was going to work.

/He did not get her number.
 
2013-02-06 01:05:43 AM  

rynthetyn: BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.

I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.


Ugh.

And next time he posts about how women don't like nice guys, link him to this: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/01/alt-text-nice-guy/
 
2013-02-06 01:06:15 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


Let me guess, the first words you say to a woman are "nice shoes, wanna fark?"
 
2013-02-06 01:07:57 AM  
i468.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 01:09:20 AM  
Well, luckily I've been told flat out that I'm a creeper, so I don't have to guess anymore.
 
2013-02-06 01:09:50 AM  

rynthetyn: I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.


Did he just not get that pulling back meant "less of this" not "try more", or did he just think he could changing your emotional state through the healing power of his hugs?
 
2013-02-06 01:11:35 AM  
doubletaxation.files.wordpress.com

1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive
 
2013-02-06 01:14:19 AM  
If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".
 
2013-02-06 01:15:29 AM  

feffer: Pick-up Artist.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 540x931]


Ah, yes. The perfect putdown by a woman -- written by a man, as the perfect compliment to a sociopath.
 
2013-02-06 01:15:43 AM  
Begoggle - Hit the nail on the head.
 
2013-02-06 01:17:32 AM  

AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".


The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together. That's not the end of the world. At some point, you will find someone that DOES think it would be fun to get naked with you.
 
2013-02-06 01:19:35 AM  

thisiszombocom: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

just be yourself.  you know, act natural


And for the Costanzas amongst us?

/I know, the opposite
 
2013-02-06 01:19:48 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


While there are a lot of genuine creeps, I can't find fault with this statement. There are a lot of come ons that work if you are attractive, but lock in the creep factor if you are not.
 
2013-02-06 01:21:43 AM  
I had a friend way back that reminded me of Howard from The Big Bang Theory. He was desperate and would hit on anything that was the opposite sex with the predictable results. He was big into showing off his watch and his shoes to the ladies. After being with him when security was called or when the b/f of his target would show up, I stopped associating with him. Years later I got a call out of the blue from him, he needed a character witness of some sort for a protection order hearing. I had to work that day and had no time off left to take. That's the last I heard from him.

//hearing wasactually on my day off, hehe
 
2013-02-06 01:21:47 AM  
This is the best and only pickup line you will ever need:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riTmalXedUA (NSFW)
 
2013-02-06 01:22:21 AM  

Genevieve Marie: The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.


That is a very good point. To me, that's the most sinister thing that romcoms teach men that see them.
 
2013-02-06 01:23:36 AM  

SpaceBison: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Let me guess, the first words you say to a woman are "nice shoes, wanna fark?"


That would sorta defeat the purpose. If I was gonna go there why not start with "Nice tits"?
 
2013-02-06 01:23:42 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: So are you saying "Does this rag smell like ether to you?" isn't a good pickup line?

/because I've gotten great responses with it
//well... maybe more like unresponsive, but still...


My ladies prefer chloroform.
 
2013-02-06 01:23:59 AM  

Fano: Genevieve Marie: The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.

That is a very good point. To me, that's the most sinister thing that romcoms teach men that see them.


Yup. That and "Being told no just means that you should try harder. "
 
2013-02-06 01:24:08 AM  

rynthetyn: BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.

I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-06 01:24:49 AM  

BSABSVR: rynthetyn: I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.

Did he just not get that pulling back meant "less of this" not "try more", or did he just think he could changing your emotional state through the healing power of his hugs?


He's one of those extroverts who needs physical contact with people but too socially awkward to understand that if somebody's an introvert who hates being touched, you can't force them to like it.
 
2013-02-06 01:24:57 AM  
Well, this was frustrating. I'm always doing something, because I like to be productive, so perhaps that's why I'm never approached. I'm just making sure there's time to do fun things later, this homework won't do itself. :(
 
2013-02-06 01:25:06 AM  
www.avoiceformen.com
 
2013-02-06 01:26:51 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.

What you describe is the female equivalent reaction of a ham-faced she-beast coming on to you.

You don't want uggos flirting with you, and you probably think them creepy as well.

/ham-faced uggo


Exactly, and surprised to see Genevieve_Marie declare it as false out of hand. If you are completely unattracted to a person, you are already negative enough that you would ascribe terrible motives to them.
 
2013-02-06 01:27:09 AM  

Genevieve Marie: nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.

False.


It's not the ONLY thing that's creepy behavior, but it *is* "creepy behavior."

I mean it's not like men are all poor, much-maligned victims of stupid jerk women, it's that for every instance of men being assholes is an instance of women being the same thing.

I mean hell, if being a persistent pushy jackass refusing to take no for an answer didn't WORK, then the boys doing it wouldn't end up planting so many boorish little babies every generation to grow up and repeat the cycle.  Women reward bad behavior with sex a lot more than they like to admit.  I'm sure YOU (whoever is reading this) don't, (maybe, denial is always "in" among the human race) but if we're talking about men as a demographic it's only fair we talk about women as a demographic.
 
2013-02-06 01:27:15 AM  
That was much better than I expected. I do wish that more women would do the hard wink, it'd make things so much less stressful.
 
2013-02-06 01:27:22 AM  

Genevieve Marie: rynthetyn: BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.

I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.

Ugh.

And next time he posts about how women don't like nice guys, link him to this: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/01/alt-text-nice-guy


 Bookmarked for future reference.
 
2013-02-06 01:29:17 AM  

Fano: Exactly, and surprised to see Genevieve_Marie declare it as false out of hand. If you are completely unattracted to a person, you are already negative enough that you would ascribe terrible motives to them.


Maybe that's how it works for some people, but I don't think I've ever been like that personally. It's never bothered me when a guy I'm not attracted to flirts with me, as long as it's polite and not too intrusive.

The only problem I occasionally ran into when I was single was the guy who thought he'd be able to change my mind and make himself attractive to me if he tried hard enough. There was one guy that stepped so, so far out of line on that one. It still creeps me out when I think about it.
 
2013-02-06 01:29:25 AM  
That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive
 
2013-02-06 01:30:58 AM  

Fano: Duck_of_Doom: nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.

What you describe is the female equivalent reaction of a ham-faced she-beast coming on to you.

You don't want uggos flirting with you, and you probably think them creepy as well.

/ham-faced uggo

Exactly, and surprised to see Genevieve_Marie declare it as false out of hand. If you are completely unattracted to a person, you are already negative enough that you would ascribe terrible motives to them.


Not true. I'm not attracted to guys, period, but I don't care if they flirt with me or hit on me unless they trigger my creep meter.
 
2013-02-06 01:31:49 AM  

The_Sponge: FTFA:
If You Sit Next to Her On a PlaneNope. Leave her alone. Unless we're on Rihanna's 777 plane or your voice holds the secret to making our Xanax kick in faster, we don't want to talk to you.


What kind of stupid blanket rule is this?  That being said, I have never tried getting somebody's number on a plane.

CSB:

Back in 2004 I was on a short flight from Phoenix to Vegas.  I had an aisle seat, this cute girl in the middle, and this douche was next to the window.  I left her alone, but Mr. Douche tried way too hard....like showing off his new Motorola RAZR phone, and mentioning how he had connections at a few clubs in Vegas.

I did my best not to laugh...especially when he thought that showing off his phone was going to work.

/He did not get her number.


I was in almost the same exact position, except I was sitting next to the window and the creep had the aisle seat.  At one point he got up to go to the bathroom and she turned her head so fast to face me that I thought I heard her neck snap!  She looked me right in the eyes and said, "I'll give you $50 to change seats with me.  Please!"  I actually did laugh at her comment, not at her, but in a friendly manner.  I quickly changed seats with her, told her to keep the $50, and when the guy got back he was shocked to see the woman he had been chatting up was "fast asleep," her head against the bulk head, with her jacket as a pillow.  I quietly explained to him that she told me she suffers from migraines and asked to switch seats with me so that she could try and take a nap. Not surprisingly the guy did not try to chat me up.  After the flight we shared a laugh after he had gone and we ended up sharing a cab from O'hare to the North side of Chicago. And we had a nice conversation.  I could tell that she was not interested in me in the least bit so I just talked to her and never asked her for her phone number.  I got out first and that was the last I ever saw of her.  And, at some point she managed to slip a 50-dollar bill into my carry-on.  I wish she had not done so, but since she did I treated myself to a nice bottle of scotch.
 
2013-02-06 01:33:25 AM  
Treat women like shiat, and you can generally get some poontang.
 
2013-02-06 01:34:54 AM  
I have this rule, the rule of three, it works like this.  You got to let the girl know you're interested, and then you have to go away, so she can think about it. You can do this three times tops, and then, you have to stop.
 
2013-02-06 01:36:02 AM  

Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together. That's not the end of the world. At some point, you will find someone that DOES think it would be fun to get naked with you.


Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip. But she's into you! Do you owe it to her to date her? Even though the thought of kissing her makes you kind of queasy? She's put so much time into the friendship!
 
2013-02-06 01:36:29 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


Nice shoes.  Can you see us farking?
 
2013-02-06 01:37:33 AM  

astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip. But she's into you! Do you owe it to her to date her? Even though the thought of kissing her makes you kind of queasy? She's put so much time into the friendship!


Exactly. Being someone's friend does not entitle them to more, no matter how much they want it.
 
2013-02-06 01:38:04 AM  
As always it boils down to two rules:
1. Be a mindreader
2. Don't be unattractive
 
2013-02-06 01:38:23 AM  
"Need help changing that flat tire?"

/Works well here in the home, and wheelchair tires are a snap to fix.
 
2013-02-06 01:38:33 AM  

rynthetyn: He's one of those extroverts who needs physical contact with people but too socially awkward to understand that if somebody's an introvert who hates being touched, you can't force them to like it.


Heh.  My friends call it my space bubble.  If someone I don't know gets too close (or someone gets too close unexpectedly), they can see my tension rise as the distance closes. It took some time for a lot of them to not take it either personally or as a challenge.
 
2013-02-06 01:38:40 AM  
Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.
 
2013-02-06 01:38:58 AM  
Just do like me and freeze in silent, nervous loserdom, then drink heavily and masturbate.
 
2013-02-06 01:39:09 AM  

Genevieve Marie: Fano: Genevieve Marie: The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.

That is a very good point. To me, that's the most sinister thing that romcoms teach men that see them.

Yup. That and "Being told no just means that you should try harder. "


Ooh. That's probably even MORE sinister.  Being told NO is a pretty strong indicator. Creepy friendzone guys work their asses off to avoid a no in the first place, so if they can't take the hint then... they move on to creepy stalker guy. There may be farkers that can tell tales of girlfriends that initially said hell no, no way, then they ended up together.  Heck actually,  I can think of a married couple I knew from college that was a Chasing Amy situation, except it was more the girl wasn't dating ANYONE, but was judged to be a lesbian for various reasons, and her future husband pined for her ENDLESSLY. But she never told him NO.
 
2013-02-06 01:40:37 AM  

Mock26: And, at some point she managed to slip a 50-dollar bill into my carry-on.


You whore.
 
2013-02-06 01:44:53 AM  
Yay for being average, nondescript, and blending into a crowd- fewer creepers that way!  Wait, that probably means I am a creeper. :-/  I'm a lady-creep.  Great.

Though personally, I've found it's pretty no brainer stuff.  Stop your efforts if they're just not buying it.  Don't hold a door open and wait 6 minutes for them to cross a busy parking lot, unless their arms are really full or something I guess, just to smell their hair as they dip under you.  What attracts on type of woman may not attract every type, that sort of thing.
 
2013-02-06 01:46:38 AM  

BSABSVR: rynthetyn: He's one of those extroverts who needs physical contact with people but too socially awkward to understand that if somebody's an introvert who hates being touched, you can't force them to like it.

Heh.  My friends call it my space bubble.  If someone I don't know gets too close (or someone gets too close unexpectedly), they can see my tension rise as the distance closes. It took some time for a lot of them to not take it either personally or as a challenge.


Yeah, this guy definitely takes it as a challenge. I had to spell it out for him before it sank in.
 
2013-02-06 01:46:43 AM  

Fano: Ooh. That's probably even MORE sinister. Being told NO is a pretty strong indicator. Creepy friendzone guys work their asses off to avoid a no in the first place, so if they can't take the hint then... they move on to creepy stalker guy. There may be farkers that can tell tales of girlfriends that initially said hell no, no way, then they ended up together. Heck actually, I can think of a married couple I knew from college that was a Chasing Amy situation, except it was more the girl wasn't dating ANYONE, but was judged to be a lesbian for various reasons, and her future husband pined for her ENDLESSLY. But she never told him NO.


So a few years ago, my roommate and I decided  to have a Christmas party. Super low key, maybe 20 of our friends, I cooked, it was nice. A friend of ours asked if he could bring his brother and his brother's buddies for the night, and we said sure, the more the merrier. I thought they were all nice people, and I was a good hostess and hung out with them, and didn't think more of it. In passing, I'd mentioned to one of them that my office was near his.

So maybe two days later, I'm at work and I get a call. It's the dude- he got my number through my friend and wanted me to have lunch. I told him I was busy and couldn't do it. So he calls again the next day- offers to take me out for a nice dinner.  At this point I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable, but not overly so. I tell him again that I'm really busy at work, that I can't go to dinner and gave a general non-committal response to hanging out with him and a group of people at a bar some time.

So the next week, HE SHOWS UP AT MY OFFICE. Just shows up, walks right up to my desk with a book, and said "Hey I thought you might like to read this and maybe now would be a good time to get coffee?" At the time, I was working for a hellacious boss, plus I was also just beginning a relationship with one of my co-workers, who I'm with to this day.

I very firmly told him that I wasn't interested and to please leave.

He called again the next week, and offered me a ticket to the Saints final playoff game during the superbowl year. Now, those tickets were like gold dust at that time. Everyone wanted to go. And I knew damn well what this was- he thought he was offering me something so rare and special that I'd accept his company just to get the ticket, and then I'd owe him another date. Not being a total idiot, I turned him down firmly.

He got nasty. Like he genuinely couldn't believe I'd turn down playoffs tickets and he insinuated any other girl would be lucky to go.

The whole thing was just really, really off putting and weird.
 
2013-02-06 01:47:08 AM  

Genevieve Marie: Seth'n'Spectrum: feffer: I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.

PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?

Once again, Fark advice proves to be counter-productive and only good for self-sabotage. But, hey, would we want it any other way?

Pick Up Artist. A truly weird culture of really creepy people.


Some of them are like that, but it's honestly a diverse crowd with different goals and strategies. You'll find a few clowns who are just trying to burn through as many women as they can to impress their guy friends, but you'll also find a lot of genuine guys who are frustrated and unsatisfied with their love lives that want to learn how to flirt. The fact is, though some PUAs go too far in the rudeness, they do have a point when they say that there's such a thing as being too nice too soon. When I was in college I used to pick one girl to have a crush on at a time because it felt like infidelity to talk to two of them. The girls I liked were overwhelmed at how much I liked them so quickly. PUA taught me that it's ok to just be cool and casual and not buy a girl flowers and tell her you love her within ten seconds of meeting her.
 
2013-02-06 01:47:49 AM  

Genevieve Marie: Fano: Exactly, and surprised to see Genevieve_Marie declare it as false out of hand. If you are completely unattracted to a person, you are already negative enough that you would ascribe terrible motives to them.

Maybe that's how it works for some people, but I don't think I've ever been like that personally. It's never bothered me when a guy I'm not attracted to flirts with me, as long as it's polite and not too intrusive.

The only problem I occasionally ran into when I was single was the guy who thought he'd be able to change my mind and make himself attractive to me if he tried hard enough. There was one guy that stepped so, so far out of line on that one. It still creeps me out when I think about it.


I wasn't calling you a liar or anything. I agree with the content of that post too. Too many guys think that a "no" means they just need to figure out the key to the lock, when they should just move on. My post was based on thinking of some female friends that ascribed crummier motives to unattractive guys that hit on them. More handsome guys were just assholes, but less good looking guys were creeps for even asking.
 
2013-02-06 01:48:49 AM  
As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.
 
2013-02-06 01:49:20 AM  

Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.


I used to bartend. Same thing.
 
2013-02-06 01:50:08 AM  
I like how the writer keeps going on about "respect" while talking to men in a disrespectful way. The good old double standard.
 
2013-02-06 01:50:52 AM  
Chicks like it when I'm creepy.
 
2013-02-06 01:51:34 AM  
FTA: "don't tell her that she'd be prettier if she smiled. She knows what face she's making and doesn't want anyone telling her to change it."

I don't know what possesses people to say that, but I hear it enough that it's turned into a pet peeve of mine. If there's ever a thread about me going postal on someone, chances are good that'll be what triggered it.
 
2013-02-06 01:53:05 AM  

apoptotic: FTA: "don't tell her that she'd be prettier if she smiled. She knows what face she's making and doesn't want anyone telling her to change it."

I don't know what possesses people to say that, but I hear it enough that it's turned into a pet peeve of mine. If there's ever a thread about me going postal on someone, chances are good that'll be what triggered it.


That's one of my things too. I've straight up told several guys "I'm under no obligation to fake a smile for you, so no, fark off"
 
2013-02-06 01:53:57 AM  

Mock26: And, at some point she managed to slip a 50-dollar bill into my carry-on. I wish she had not done so, but since she did I treated myself to a nice bottle of scotch.



Your story is way better than mine.

*Tipping my hat*
 
2013-02-06 01:54:18 AM  

Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.


Oh yeah, I'd get middle aged men flirting with me. It was especially creepy because I looked like I was in high school until several years after I was out of college.
 
2013-02-06 01:56:24 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Mock26: And, at some point she managed to slip a 50-dollar bill into my carry-on.

You whore.


I am not a whore!  I am certainly cheap and easy and will practically give it away, but I am not a whore!
 
2013-02-06 01:58:40 AM  

HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive



It also ignores that fact that women can be creepy too.  (Hello driving cross country in a diaper to assault your ex's new girlfriend).

I have had friends wives hold my hand a bit too long while telling me how glad they are that I came over and stop by any time I want, even during the day when Bob's at work....and on and on while not letting go of my hands and looking into my eyes for extended conversations.  While I politely try pulling my hands away and putting them in my pockets, and mumble replies like "Um, okay, thanks."  Sorry, but your huband is my old college buddy.  Give me my hand back, and give me 2 inches of breathing room between our faces...
 
2013-02-06 01:59:49 AM  

browntimmy: Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.


Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?

You get adept at it with experience. Since you haven't hit on her yet, you haven't risked anything. You can back away without being called a creeper.

Hey, Farkers, did you think this was good advice? If so, you just agreed with one of the "douchebag pickup artists" you all love to hate. See? It isn't all evil mind hacking. The vast majority of it is all about making her feel comfortable with the stance that she will be more attracted to you if you aren't desperately trying to invade her space with your own pathetic needs. There's way too much emphasis on "negging." The community moved beyond that years ago.
 
2013-02-06 02:00:05 AM  
I have discovered that my wedding ring is a turn on for a small but acceptable cross-section of the hot/crazy axes.
 
2013-02-06 02:00:13 AM  

Genevieve Marie: So maybe two days later, I'm at work and I get a call. It's the dude- he got my number through my friend and wanted me to have lunch. I told him I was busy and couldn't do it. So he calls again the next day- offers to take me out for a nice dinner. At this point I'm starting to get a little uncomfortable, but not overly so. I tell him again that I'm really busy at work, that I can't go to dinner and gave a general non-committal response to hanging out with him and a group of people at a bar some time.

So the next week, HE SHOWS UP AT MY OFFICE. Just shows up, walks right up to my desk with a book, and said "Hey I thought you might like to read this and maybe now would be a good time to get coffee?" At the time, I was working for a hellacious boss, plus I was also just beginning a relationship with one of my co-workers, who I'm with to this day.

I very firmly told him that I wasn't interested and to please leave.

He called again the next week, and offered me a ticket to the Saints final playoff game during the superbowl year. Now, those tickets were like gold dust at that time. Everyone wanted to go. And I knew damn well what this was- he thought he was offering me something so rare and special that I'd accept his company just to get the ticket, and then I'd owe him another date. Not being a total idiot, I turned him down firmly.

He got nasty. Like he genuinely couldn't believe I'd turn down playoffs tickets and he insinuated any other girl would be lucky to go.

The whole thing was just really, really off putting and weird.


Wow, what a jerk. Hmm. I guess not everyone is good at reading social cues? I don't want to sound like I only accept a firm NO as a reason for a man to give up. The entire leadup you give is a neverending story of "I'm not interested." Right after being directed out of your office, he should have gotten the idea. Did he never see The Last Unicorn? The Lady Almalthea cannot be won by great gifts. I hope he found someone to give those tickets to.
 
2013-02-06 02:00:40 AM  
When I was single, I had one line that always worked at the bars:

*walk up to the girl*
"Hey, uh, you're kinda ugly."
*wait for exasperated response and then put up hands defensively*
"No, no, no. I LIKE that."


Slapped to laid ratio was about 50/50, so better than any other line out there.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:09 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."


A good coach might say, "Study these films of a fast runner and do as he does until you're fast."

Of course, you may not have any confident male acquaintances to study.  But you can always watch "Gone With The Wind" on Netflix.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:32 AM  
"Have you met Ted?"
 
2013-02-06 02:02:29 AM  

browntimmy: Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.


This. And while our feminist may disagree out of personal experience, I've got ten years of restaurant time sharing with waitresses to back that up. Office, restaurant, captive target, whatever; women respond well to physically attractive, and poorly to ugly. Denying that is lying.

I'm not judging, but the ladies need to be more honest about it.
 
2013-02-06 02:02:51 AM  

Wayne 985: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.


Too late, he's married now.

"Marriage is  the death of hope."  I think someone said it before Woody Allen.
 
2013-02-06 02:03:13 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques


What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.
 
2013-02-06 02:03:21 AM  

astoreth: Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together. That's not the end of the world. At some point, you will find someone that DOES think it would be fun to get naked with you.

Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip. But she's into you! Do you owe it to her to date her? Even though the thought of kissing her makes you kind of queasy? She's put so much time into the friendship!


The thing is though, assuming she's an average looking person (like many  friendzoned guys), if we're hanging out together all the time there's a very very good chance that one or more of those times a guy will be thinking, "I'd really like to be having sex...you'll do." Our standards on what's attractive fluctuates depending on the scenario.
 
2013-02-06 02:04:05 AM  
FTFA:  I once had a man on the Q train refuse to break eye contact with me as he ate an entire rotisserie chicken with his mittens on.


I laughed way too hard at this.
 
2013-02-06 02:04:30 AM  

rynthetyn: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

Oh yeah, I'd get middle aged men flirting with me. It was especially creepy because I looked like I was in high school until several years after I was out of college.


I have a super high voice and it only gets higher the more nervous I am. Seriously, creditors have declined to talk with me because. I, "sound like a child". Weird stuff.
Also it's nice that other people put up with thus shiate.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:44 AM  
Men, if you never listen to anything I say ever again, hear this: these feminist articles about the rules of approaching women are made strictly to inhibit men with low sexual market value, because they're the only ones who would even consider taking this advice to heart. The most confident (and therefore desirable) men don't play by the rules.

Don't believe me? Read the erotic fan fiction that women write and see for yourself what turns them on. Sure, they don't want YOU taking their headphones off on the subway, but if George Clooney did that it would result in a vaginal flood of Biblical proportions.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:57 AM  

grinding_journalist: I have discovered that my wedding ring is a turn on for a small but acceptable cross-section of the hot/crazy axes.


I once had a moment of clarity with a guy in college that was married; we were at a bar and he pointed to me all the women at the bar that were/would be interested in him. He then said were he to take his ring off he would be just as stupid as me. I took home the lesson that when you disassociate you can see the picture better. It didn't help.

/getting married on Memorial Day
 
2013-02-06 02:07:46 AM  
I'm not bad looking, I'm just crushingly awkward and shy. Makes meeting girls very hard. And I have a very hard time telling when a girl is craving my wave.

/Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"
 
2013-02-06 02:09:09 AM  
Genevieve Marie: (post too long to quote)

So you told him "no" once, ONCE, and you were already creeped out.  He checked one more time after the rejection, you told him no again and he threw a childish tantrum but then left you alone.  Yes?

Until the childish tantrum, everything he did was "Chasing Amy"-style romantic that I see in a hojillion chick-flick romance storiesThe only difference is he didn't psychically read the future and/or your mind and tell that "I'm busy" meant "fark off you're unattractive" instead of "I'm playing hard-to-get or actually farking busy, maybe later."

After the childish tantrum?  Well clearly he's a childish asshole, congratulations on dodging that bullet; but you can't claim you knew that anymore than he could have known, until you gave a straight answer, that you weren't interested and never would be.  He was, up until then, just trying, like men are constantly, endlessly told (By women!) they are supposed to in order to be "proper" and desirable men.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:41 AM  

Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together.


The "friend zone" is for men a woman doesn't want to fark but who have other skills she thinks might come in handy someday.
 
2013-02-06 02:11:02 AM  

TheBigJerk: So you told him "no" once, ONCE, and you were already creeped out. He checked one more time after the rejection, you told him no again and he threw a childish tantrum but then left you alone. Yes?


No, I told him no twice before I was creeped out. And bear in mind, he didn't ask me for my number- he got it through asking other people for it and he called me out of the blue. And this was someone I hadn't paid any more than polite hostess attention to in the first place.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:17 AM  

Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"


Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?
 
2013-02-06 02:13:11 AM  
Actually... the best advice that never sinks in for most guys is to stop taking advice from women.  Everyone knows advice from women about how to attract women sucks.  This "Don't be aggressive, pick apart the subtle nuances in her body language" advice is a load of garbage.  This kind of advice is just a sh**t test: you fail by paying any mind to it.  The real way to pick up women is to have confidence, and to be persistent -  When one chick turns you down, just let it roll off your back and move on to the next one.  A man carrying himself with the attitude that his normal healthy desire to interact with a person in his vicinity is something scary and gross, worrying about whether women think he is a "creeper" - that is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what heterosexual women generally find attractive.

So then the question becomes... how does a man find the confidence to behave in this way?  Well, that depends on individual circumstances, there's no quick fix, it might be a long journey.  Seeing a therapist would probably be a good first step.
 
2013-02-06 02:14:18 AM  

Tommy Moo: Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?


Let's shorten that to: Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Sound better?  Maybe even make it a rule, or commandment.
 
2013-02-06 02:14:33 AM  
 
2013-02-06 02:17:31 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

What he lacks in fashion sense he makes up for with his great sense of humor.
 
2013-02-06 02:17:37 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


Came for the defensive men trying to blame it all on women.

Fark, you never fail to come through.
 
2013-02-06 02:18:28 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together.

The "friend zone" is for men a woman doesn't want to fark but who have other skills she thinks might come in handy someday.


And men who complain about being friend-zoned often have no interest in an actual friendship and just want to sleep with the woman.
 
2013-02-06 02:19:10 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive


It also ignores that fact that women can be creepy too.  (Hello driving cross country in a diaper to assault your ex's new girlfriend).

I have had friends wives hold my hand a bit too long while telling me how glad they are that I came over and stop by any time I want, even during the day when Bob's at work....and on and on while not letting go of my hands and looking into my eyes for extended conversations.  While I politely try pulling my hands away and putting them in my pockets, and mumble replies like "Um, okay, thanks."  Sorry, but your huband is my old college buddy.  Give me my hand back, and give me 2 inches of breathing room between our faces...


LOL.  I once had a married female colleague walk up to me, look me square in the eye, and say in a very suggestive voice that she was about to "take advantage" of me.  It turned out she just needed me to give her a buzz if her husband showed up early for their lunch date... but the female coworker who was sitting directly next to me thought I was gonna get raped.
 
2013-02-06 02:21:06 AM  

feffer: Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques

I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


imgs.xkcd.com
There's an xkcd for everything.  It's like rule 34, only with less nudity.

/Though then again, maybe EVERYBODY in xkcd is nude.
 
2013-02-06 02:21:48 AM  

Dion Fortune: Actually... the best advice that never sinks in for most guys is to stop taking advice from women.  Everyone knows advice from women about how to attract women sucks.  This "Don't be aggressive, pick apart the subtle nuances in her body language" advice is a load of garbage.  This kind of advice is just a sh**t test: you fail by paying any mind to it.  The real way to pick up women is to have confidence, and to be persistent -  When one chick turns you down, just let it roll off your back and move on to the next one.  A man carrying himself with the attitude that his normal healthy desire to interact with a person in his vicinity is something scary and gross, worrying about whether women think he is a "creeper" - that is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what heterosexual women generally find attractive.

So then the question becomes... how does a man find the confidence to behave in this way?  Well, that depends on individual circumstances, there's no quick fix, it might be a long journey.  Seeing a therapist would probably be a good first step.


Great post. The confidence only comes with success. Eventually you have nothing left to prove to yourself. In my 20s I wanted desperately to be approved of. Today, most women are nice enough people, but I've seen enough of them naked. I'm looking for a friend that's great in bed. So 9 out of 10 women I just genuinely don't want to fark. At least not at first. A few of them surprise me as I get to know them. But it's funny... When you don't want to fark a woman, it increases the likelihood that she will have attraction for you. It's like this itch at first, when you aren't getting any, but then it snowballs from there.
 
2013-02-06 02:22:26 AM  
"Lets not turn this rape into a murder"
 
2013-02-06 02:22:56 AM  

Tommy Moo: browntimmy: Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.

Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?

You get adept at it with experience. Since you haven't hit on her yet, you haven't risked anything. You can back away without being called a creeper.

Hey, Farkers, did you think this was good advice? If so, you just agreed with one of the "douchebag pickup artists" you all love to hate. See? It isn't all evil mind hacking. The vast majority of it is all about making her feel comfortable with the stance that she will be more attracted to you if you aren't desperately trying to invade her space with your own pathetic needs. There's way too much emphasis on "negging." The community mo ...


It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.
 
2013-02-06 02:23:27 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"

Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?


Yeah, my experience was exactly like that too.

Except for the whole girls apparently suddenly swooning all over me after high school.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:44 AM  

bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.


For what it's worth, I think those articles in women's magazines are pretty creepy and weird and gross too.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:59 AM  

Tavernknight: Seth'n'Spectrum: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques

What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.


I used to do that all the time when I was living with my mom and wanted to get out of the house. No one ever approached me. Never sat at the bar, though.
 
2013-02-06 02:25:20 AM  

Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.


Allow John Waters to explain the difference.
 
2013-02-06 02:26:32 AM  
CSB:

Knew a girl for a year. She'd often send me pictures of herself naked. Yet, everytime I'd ask her to spend the night, she called me a creeper.

The hell?
 
2013-02-06 02:27:56 AM  
 
2013-02-06 02:29:39 AM  

GranoblasticMan: ThrobblefootSpectre: Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"

Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?

Yeah, my experience was exactly like that too.

Except for the whole girls apparently suddenly swooning all over me after high school.


Yeah, didn't have the swooning thing either... I apparently have an "Oh god please don't talk to me" look on my face normally. Whereas I do want to be talked to, I just don't know how to initiate the conversations.
 
2013-02-06 02:29:52 AM  

ciberido: [imgs.xkcd.com image 540x931]
There's an xkcd for everything.  It's like rule 34, only with less nudity.

/Though then again, maybe EVERYBODY in xkcd is nude.


Xkcd completely whiffed on understanding the art of the neg in that strip. A neg isn't a blatant insult, that would be pickup suicide. It's a statement that can be interpreted several different ways - the intent is to keep the girl thinking "What did he mean by that?"

PUA is social nihilism, sure, but it works. Hate the game, not the player, etc.
 
2013-02-06 02:29:57 AM  

ciberido: Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.

Allow John Waters to explain the difference.


damn... shouldn't have bothered to type out the lyrics
 
2013-02-06 02:31:29 AM  

Genevieve Marie: bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.

For what it's worth, I think those articles in women's magazines are pretty creepy and weird and gross too.


These are the same magazines that say it's sexy to be a jealously psycho quim, and men get off on you giving their cocks friction burns.  The magazines themselves are creepy and worthless.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:25 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: The magazines themselves are creepy and worthless.


You'll get no argument here.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:25 AM  

bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.


There's nothing wrong with both genders seeking out guidance for how best to attain their goals in their social and love lives. This whole thing works better when you don't view love as a war between the sexes. Yeah, in the back of my mind, I acknowledge that there are conflicting mass interests, in that women want other women to get fat so the best men get stuck with them, and the top 1% of men want to crush and steal from all other men, which hurts most women. But I try to keep that functional knowledge buried beneath a practical spirit of cooperation.

Or at least I used to. It's been a shiatty year for me, so I haven't really been focused on dating lately. I need to get back into my positive groove I had going.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:43 AM  

Fano: /getting married on Memorial Day


Congrats to you, and yes, everything they say about the sex disappearing is true. Anyone saying otherwise is lying to themselves along with you.

As an aside, I've asked a few of the more overt ones what they see in me knowing I'm married- one said that she knew I'd never tell, so she could get away with it too, another said "you aren't broke and know how to fark", but my favorite had to be the following exchange:

"How long you been married?"
"Couple of years."
"And you've been together for...?"
"Almost 10."
"And you've never strayed?"
"Not once."
"So, I can count on getting farked by a guy who hasn't gotten any for a decade? We'd be up all night."

/that last one was the hardest to turn away
//siiigh
///I keed; the wife takes care of me well
////siiiiiiiiiiiiigh
 
2013-02-06 02:32:58 AM  
Just do what I do --

Be an introverted depressive social retard one step away from agoraphobia.
If you don't go anywhere or do anything, you can't creep out women.
 
2013-02-06 02:33:23 AM  
Let's be honest here... women are some creepy farks.
 
2013-02-06 02:34:30 AM  

bingethinker: I like how the writer keeps going on about "respect" while talking to men in a disrespectful way. The good old double standard.


Hey, stop making sense.
 
2013-02-06 02:34:40 AM  

AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".


Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.  Focus on the human interactions, and the farking will come (so to speak).  I have many more female friends as male ones, I have one that farks me in a legally-recognized union, and while I made several of those friendships hoping for non-legally-recognized-union-farking (all before the LRUF), I really don't care about that anymore when dealing with them (though this does not mean I do not leer ^_^ ).

Oh, and God's sake realize that asking her about her interests is the price you pay for telling her about your Grey Knight Terminators.  Oh, and if she talks about Grey Knight Terminators, too, find another set of topics to discuss, because if you obsess over a common geekoid interest, somebody is going to end up in a woodchipper, and it is 50/50 that it will be you.
 
2013-02-06 02:35:54 AM  

phalamir: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.  Focus on the human interactions, and the farking will come (so to speak).  I have many more female friends as male ones, I have one that farks me in a legally-recognized union, and while I made several of those friendships hoping for non-legally-recognized-union-farking (all before the LRUF), I really don't care about that anymore when dealing with them (though this does not mean I do not leer ^_^ ).

Oh, and God's sake realize that asking her about her interests is the price you pay for telling her about your Grey Knight Terminators.  Oh, and if she talks about Grey Knight Terminators, too, find another set of topics to discuss, because if you obsess over a common geekoid interest, somebody is going to end up in a woodchipper, and it is 50/50 that it will be you.


Quit pretending that it means more than unlocking an achievement.
 
2013-02-06 02:37:19 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: Tommy Moo: Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?

Let's shorten that to: Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Sound better?  Maybe even make it a rule, or commandment.


That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.
 
2013-02-06 02:41:55 AM  

browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.


Just grab her hand when you're sitting down sometime. Don't even talk about the fact that you're doing it. Do it in the middle of a happy story about something, briefly, then let it go. If she leaves her hand there, she likes you. If not, it really isn't that weird of a thing for a friend to do, as long as you just keep talking. On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.
 
2013-02-06 02:42:10 AM  

browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.


Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.
 
2013-02-06 02:44:14 AM  
All about reading the kinesics and the context.

Simply won't bother if there is no eye contact.  If walking along and eye contact  is made (and am momentarily smitten)?  I'll smile and say "you just made my day!  You're just so pretty that you've made me smile!  Have a great day, yourself, and keep up the good work!"  and I just keep walking.

Melville was/is right and I've always tried to leave others feeling less, rather than more, `weighted down'

"I have the satisfaction of knowing that it is all right; that everybody else is one way or other served in much the same way--either in a physical or metaphysical point of view, that is; and so the universal thump is passed round, and all hands should rub each other's shoulder-blades, and be content."

/never interested in any woman who isn't interested & interesting
 
2013-02-06 02:45:49 AM  
Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"
 
2013-02-06 02:50:55 AM  
Linking to Jezebel will only produce more misogynists, even among women.
 
2013-02-06 02:51:41 AM  

feffer: 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


Irony? Or is it only negative when it's a guy doing it to a woman?
 
2013-02-06 02:52:37 AM  

miss diminutive: browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.

Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.


That's very possible. I tried to retaliate with the whole "Don't seem toooo interested, they like a challenge" thing, but I might have taken that too far. I have no idea if the effect was: 1. Nothing, since she didn't like me that way or 2. She came to the conclusion that I didn't like her that way.
This is all such farking nonsense when you step back and look at it.
 
2013-02-06 02:53:21 AM  

Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"


You know what you look like to me, with your clever quote and your cheap profile? You look like a liter. A well scrubbed, hustling liter with a little taste. Good education's given you some length of post, but you're not more than one generation from poor AOL trash, are you, Yogimus? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure Silicon Valley. What is your father, dear? Is he a LAN admin? Does he stink of exhaust fan? You know how quickly the boys found you... all that tedious sticky cybering in yahoo chatrooms... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to F.A.R.K.
 
2013-02-06 02:54:12 AM  
Too many are grasping here.  Women are like dog turds, the older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
 
2013-02-06 02:54:57 AM  

Tommy Moo: On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.


That, my friend, is extremely creepy.
 
2013-02-06 02:56:28 AM  
i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-02-06 02:56:53 AM  

miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...


Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.
 
2013-02-06 02:57:23 AM  
Not long ago I saw an attractive woman start to chat up a bus driver in order to escape the creepish dude who'd just tried to do the same to her.  After his initial surprise (he hadn't seen or heard the first exchange), you could sense the driver knew an opportunity when he saw one and was giving it his best shot.  My stop came soon after so didn't see how it played out, but when I got off he'd already made her laugh twice and she'd even squeezed his shoulder.

Moral:  it is possible to score on public transit as a direct result of others' failure to do so.  Going to the gym regularly is probably still a good idea also.
 
2013-02-06 02:57:54 AM  

miss diminutive: You know what you look like to me, with your clever quote and your cheap profile? You look like a liter.


As opposed to a sucker who pays for a forum account?
 
2013-02-06 02:59:11 AM  

Coelacanth Filet: miss diminutive: You know what you look like to me, with your clever quote and your cheap profile? You look like a liter.

As opposed to a sucker who pays for a forum account?


Leave her alone, it's the only place in her life that she can assert any type of supremacy.
 
2013-02-06 02:59:20 AM  

Tommy Moo: Don't even talk about the fact that you're doing it. Do it in the middle of a happy story about something, briefly, then let it go. If she leaves her hand there, she likes you. If not, it really isn't that weird of a thing for a friend to do, as long as you just keep talking. On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.



This is why roller coasters and scary movies were invented.
 
2013-02-06 02:59:27 AM  

Coelacanth Filet: ciberido: [imgs.xkcd.com image 540x931]
There's an xkcd for everything.  It's like rule 34, only with less nudity.

/Though then again, maybe EVERYBODY in xkcd is nude.

Xkcd completely whiffed on understanding the art of the neg in that strip. A neg isn't a blatant insult, that would be pickup suicide. It's a statement that can be interpreted several different ways - the intent is to keep the girl thinking "What did he mean by that?"

PUA is social nihilism, sure, but it works. Hate the game, not the player, etc.


True.  The woman isn't negging the man.  It would be a different, possibly better, strip if she did.

And I'm quite capable of hating both the game AND the players, I assure you.
 
2013-02-06 02:59:45 AM  

browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.


That's one of the Satanic commandments/rules.  A practical bit of relationship advice, encoded in a religion? Inconceivable!  But you're right.  It's hard to gauge someone's interest, and much easier to misinterpret subtle signals.  I play with my hair a lot, because I'm a nervous/fidgety type when talking to people.  I'd feel bad if I've been giving a wrong impression the whole time.

As for your friend, she's flirting, but doing it for attention, not because of interest.  If you see her doing that to others, then there's the proof.
 
2013-02-06 03:00:14 AM  

Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.


You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.
 
2013-02-06 03:02:40 AM  

miss diminutive: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.

You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.


I am a divorced sociopath that gets more pleasure out of masturbation than a long term relationship. I treat people as replaceable drones, and only have 2 or 3 people I can talk to.  I numb the emptiness in me with alcohol, and take more pleasure than I should in the shortcomings of others. In this, I feel no guilt.  I am also an UNCANNY user and manipulator of people, and I know you.  I know you VERY well.
 
2013-02-06 03:05:25 AM  

miss diminutive: browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.

Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.


It's really fun when every woman gets classified as a frigid biotch, a pricktease, or a slut.  It would be nice if you would allow for more options.
 
2013-02-06 03:05:55 AM  
The thing that gets me the most about the guys that complain about the "friend zone" is that they think women owe them something. Protip: if you think you deserve something for being a nice guy, you're not a nice guy.
 
2013-02-06 03:07:49 AM  

ciberido: miss diminutive: browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.

Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.

It's really fun when every woman gets classified as a frigid biotch, a pricktease, or a slut.  It would be nice if you would allow for more options.


There are as many options as there are women.  Also, and this is very important here, the terms you stated are used by women more than men.
 
2013-02-06 03:08:06 AM  

Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.

You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.

I am a divorced sociopath that gets more pleasure out of masturbation than a long term relationship. I treat people as replaceable drones, and only have 2 or 3 people I can talk to.  I numb the emptiness in me with alcohol, and take more pleasure than I should in the shortcomings of others. In this, I feel no guilt.  I am also an UNCANNY user and manipulator of people, and I know you.  I know you VERY well.


Well enough to know when I'm quoting Silence of the Lambs in response to your original Silence of the Lambs quote?
 
2013-02-06 03:09:37 AM  
Yogimus: I AM SO HARDCORE
 
2013-02-06 03:09:58 AM  
I don't listen to hip hop.
 
2013-02-06 03:13:25 AM  
"Granted, approaching someone on the street is tricky. Chances are that you'll be shot down, so be prepared for that "

yeah, right, I am ME.  I havent been shot down on the street in 16 years.  I am apparently unshootdownable.

of course I've been married 16 years, but nonetheless...

I am always a bit wary of a woman giving guys advice about what works to pick them up.  Guys tend to know what works better than women do.  What women dont get is that if you reject a man, he doesent CARE if you think he is creepy.   Most (not all) women would lay down rules for guys that would be in stark contrast to the way they were approached by the love of their life.  "dont approach if she is looking at her phone."  Seriously?  I fall in love at first sight with a girl and I am supposed to not at least acknowledge her existance?    If you offend them or scare them, sure, get the hell away, but ... you never know unless you approach them.
 
2013-02-06 03:17:28 AM  
Oh I get the creepy thing. Actually I don't quite get it. At this point it's mostly amusing because I'm already married so it doesn't matter. Apparently my wife & mom are the only two women who DON'T find me creepy.

I'm introverted so it's not like I'm out there chatting women up making them uncomfortable, but I'm not a stare-at-the-ground weirdo either. But I'll be darned if women at the grocery store don't turn around or cross into another aisle when they see me approach.

Twice I helped in my kids' classes when they needed volunteer "moms". No matter which side of the room I was on, the moms went to the opposite side. The kids seemed to like me though so that was cool.

My wife & I laugh about it when she has to reassure me I'm not a creep. I'm not fat, average looks, look younger than my age so, ehhhh. Kinda strange.
 
2013-02-06 03:23:03 AM  

HotWingAgenda: Tommy Moo: On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.

That, my friend, is extremely creepy.


No it isn't. It might read that way, but trust me, it plays fine when you're just having a casual conversation. It's a testing the water move. What's creepy is standing there awkwardly after two hours of not touching her and then suddenly leaning in for a kiss. Watch her recoil and turn her cheek to you! When you slowly escalate the physical contact, stopping at each step to gauge her reaction, you never, ever end up with a huge, awkward gaffe like that. Keep it light. Keep it happy. If you ever feel like she didn't like something you did, back it up.

I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.
 
2013-02-06 03:25:55 AM  

Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.

You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.

I am a divorced sociopath that gets more pleasure out of masturbation than a long term relationship. I treat people as replaceable drones, and only have 2 or 3 people I can talk to.  I numb the emptiness in me with alcohol, and take more pleasure than I should in the shortcomings of others. In this, I feel no guilt.  I am also an UNCANNY user and manipulator of people, and I know you.  I know you VERY well.


What the fark is going on with you two? Is this some kind of running gag?
 
2013-02-06 03:28:02 AM  

BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.


i'll repeat: I'm glad the dog is okay.
 
2013-02-06 03:28:18 AM  

Tommy Moo: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.

You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.

I am a divorced sociopath that gets more pleasure out of masturbation than a long term relationship. I treat people as replaceable drones, and only have 2 or 3 people I can talk to.  I numb the emptiness in me with alcohol, and take more pleasure than I should in the shortcomings of others. In this, I feel no guilt.  I am also an UNCANNY user and manipulator of people, and I know you.  I know you VERY well.

What the fark is going on with you two? Is this some kind of running gag?


He's puttin' the make on her and she's acting coy.
 
2013-02-06 03:29:46 AM  
I'm chargin up my laser.

/
and by laser I mean penis
//and by charging up I mean I am trying to maintain an erection long enough to photograph.
 
2013-02-06 03:31:07 AM  

I sound fat: I am always a bit wary of a woman giving guys advice about what works to pick them up. Guys tend to know what works better than women do. What women dont get is that if you reject a man, he doesent CARE if you think he is creepy. Most (not all) women would lay down rules for guys that would be in stark contrast to the way they were approached by the love of their life. "dont approach if she is looking at her phone." Seriously? I fall in love at first sight with a girl and I am supposed to not at least acknowledge her existance? If you offend them or scare them, sure, get the hell away, but ... you never know unless you approach them.


The guy upthread had it right. These articles aren't written with the goal of coaching the author's future boyfriends into how to approach and win her over. They are written because the author and her friends are constantly approached by an endless barrage of boring beta males, the kind of guys who read farking Jezebel articles are are likely to be swayed and discouraged from ever approaching them again. They want to get the losers out of the way so their attention is cleared up for the alpha males who don't give a fark what anyone thinks about how and when they should approach because they are going to do it whenever they damn well feel like it.
 
2013-02-06 03:31:29 AM  
Legalized prostitution would solve stupid matters like this.
 
2013-02-06 03:34:55 AM  

Tommy Moo: I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city.


Wow.
 
2013-02-06 03:35:13 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Legalized prostitution would solve stupid matters like this.


And probably create several others.
 
2013-02-06 03:36:49 AM  

Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: miss diminutive: Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"

You know what you look like to me...

Oh you poor sweetie, you must think you're still attractive enough for that to matter.

You see a lot, Yogimus. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to.

I am a divorced sociopath that gets more pleasure out of masturbation than a long term relationship. I treat people as replaceable drones, and only have 2 or 3 people I can talk to.  I numb the emptiness in me with power, and take more pleasure than I should in the shortcomings of others. In this, I feel no guilt.  I am also an UNCANNY user and manipulator of people, and I know you.  I know you VERY well.


cdn.inquisitr.com
 
2013-02-06 03:39:00 AM  

LDM90: FirstNationalBastard: Legalized prostitution would solve stupid matters like this.

And probably create several others.


Eh, the only way to solve problems between men and women entirely would to be total segregation of the sexes and breeding genetic donation.

/Krypton didn't seem like too bad of a place.
 
2013-02-06 03:45:17 AM  

Bathysphere: rynthetyn: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

Oh yeah, I'd get middle aged men flirting with me. It was especially creepy because I looked like I was in high school until several years after I was out of college.

I have a super high voice and it only gets higher the more nervous I am. Seriously, creditors have declined to talk with me because. I, "sound like a child". Weird stuff.
Also it's nice that other people put up with thus shiate.


The one thing I have going for me is that I'm 5'9" and have been since middle school. I learned pretty quickly when I was 12 or 13 that it's a different power dynamic if you take full advantage of your height. It's a lot less intimidating dealing with men who are significantly older than you when you can look them directly in they eye.
 
2013-02-06 03:45:37 AM  

Tommy Moo: I sound fat: I am always a bit wary of a woman giving guys advice about what works to pick them up. Guys tend to know what works better than women do. What women dont get is that if you reject a man, he doesent CARE if you think he is creepy. Most (not all) women would lay down rules for guys that would be in stark contrast to the way they were approached by the love of their life. "dont approach if she is looking at her phone." Seriously? I fall in love at first sight with a girl and I am supposed to not at least acknowledge her existance? If you offend them or scare them, sure, get the hell away, but ... you never know unless you approach them.

The guy upthread had it right. These articles aren't written with the goal of coaching the author's future boyfriends into how to approach and win her over. They are written because the author and her friends are constantly approached by an endless barrage of boring beta males, the kind of guys who read farking Jezebel articles are are likely to be swayed and discouraged from ever approaching them again. They want to get the losers out of the way so their attention is cleared up for the alpha males who don't give a fark what anyone thinks about how and when they should approach because they are going to do it whenever they damn well feel like it.


Yea, this is a PUA take on this and it's wholly innaccurate. This piece was written by a woman who's tired of being made to feel uncomfortable all the time. It was helpful hints for how not to make a woman feel threatened or like she has to be on her guard.

If you're not someone who enjoys making women feel uncomfortable, these are good tips. If you are, a good therapist might be in order.
 
2013-02-06 03:58:33 AM  
assets.diylol.com
 
2013-02-06 03:59:39 AM  
"I've got a dick and a knife. One of these is going in you."

/girlfriend HATES that joke
//still the funniest creeper line I've heard
 
2013-02-06 04:05:07 AM  

phalamir: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.


So, any idea on how many I can expect to become friends with before I find one interested in me?  I have problems recognizing social signals, so there may have been many I didn't see as interested.  Or wasn't sure enough to take a chance on.  That's probably the real issue.

CSB:  First date, nice girl.  We were feeding each other and chatting over dinner.  Walked out to the car, she leaned back against the door casually and smiled.  I carefully reached down to her hip so I could open the door she was leaning against like a gentleman.

/she pretty much had to hit me over the head with it.
//Which she did, later. :)
 
2013-02-06 04:06:00 AM  
Nothing's more awkward than when you've already agreed on price and she sees you take out a Discover card.
 
2013-02-06 04:06:29 AM  

Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.


This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.
 
2013-02-06 04:10:23 AM  

Tavernknight: Seth'n'Spectrum: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques

What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.


That would probably work with me ; )
 
2013-02-06 04:14:11 AM  

Tommy Moo: .

I've dated dozens 26 of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.

 
2013-02-06 04:14:32 AM  

astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip.


Ok, so how do I ever find out that she has all of my interests and is a blast to hang out with, again?
 
2013-02-06 04:18:21 AM  

AccuJack: phalamir: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.

So, any idea on how many I can expect to become friends with before I find one interested in me?  I have problems recognizing social signals, so there may have been many I didn't see as interested.  Or wasn't sure enough to take a chance on.  That's probably the real issue.

CSB:  First date, nice girl.  We were feeding each other and chatting over dinner.  Walked out to the car, she leaned back against the door casually and smiled.  I carefully reached down to her hip so I could open the door she was leaning against like a gentleman.

/she pretty much had to hit me over the head with it.
//Which she did, later. :)


Please tell me "it" wasn't her penis...
 
2013-02-06 04:18:44 AM  
Slightly off topic and I did not read the farking article because well Jezebel.....but from the comments I've read I thought I'd chime in...the way I was raised is to be polite to everyone, and to be friendly (not overly friendly) and it seems as though now (because of how people are nowadays) girls take anyone being friendly as flirting........that gets SUPER annoying.

/done venting
 
2013-02-06 04:19:08 AM  

Genevieve Marie: Tommy Moo: I sound fat: I am always a bit wary of a woman giving guys advice about what works to pick them up. Guys tend to know what works better than women do. What women dont get is that if you reject a man, he doesent CARE if you think he is creepy. Most (not all) women would lay down rules for guys that would be in stark contrast to the way they were approached by the love of their life. "dont approach if she is looking at her phone." Seriously? I fall in love at first sight with a girl and I am supposed to not at least acknowledge her existance? If you offend them or scare them, sure, get the hell away, but ... you never know unless you approach them.

The guy upthread had it right. These articles aren't written with the goal of coaching the author's future boyfriends into how to approach and win her over. They are written because the author and her friends are constantly approached by an endless barrage of boring beta males, the kind of guys who read farking Jezebel articles are are likely to be swayed and discouraged from ever approaching them again. They want to get the losers out of the way so their attention is cleared up for the alpha males who don't give a fark what anyone thinks about how and when they should approach because they are going to do it whenever they damn well feel like it.

Yea, this is a PUA take on this and it's wholly innaccurate. This piece was written by a woman who's tired of being made to feel uncomfortable all the time. It was helpful hints for how not to make a woman feel threatened or like she has to be on her guard.

If you're not someone who enjoys making women feel uncomfortable, these are good tips. If you are, a good therapist might be in order.


Explain the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon then. I stand behind my assessment. Anyway, life is constantly proving me right. Think what you will.
 
2013-02-06 04:20:33 AM  
tinfoil-hat maggie
Tavernknight:

What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.

That would probably work with me ; )


The article clearly explains that the book is a signal that he wants to be left alone, you unrespectful creeperette!
 
2013-02-06 04:21:02 AM  

untaken_name: astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip.

Ok, so how do I ever find out that she has all of my interests and is a blast to hang out with, again?



By treating her like a human being instead of a potential lay.
 
2013-02-06 04:23:18 AM  

gunther_bumpass: untaken_name: astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip.

Ok, so how do I ever find out that she has all of my interests and is a blast to hang out with, again?


By treating her like a human being instead of a potential lay VICTIM.


FTFY
 
2013-02-06 04:28:02 AM  
Yep, the whole 'Don't be unattractive' rule is true a lot of the time.  Women can deny it but I've seen it in action so many times.  I have a ridiculously good looking friend who can get away with anything and the women love the attention.  Yet a awkward, below average looking guy I know is called a creep just for talking to them for more than a few minutes.

As for reading cues from women, even when you start to figure it out, it's still damn hard.  Some girls can be super interested but give off no signs and some girls can look like they are well into a guy but they just happen to be really friendly and enjoy a flirt.  In short, the only thing I've found is to try and get a conversation going and if they don't give any obvious signs they want to leave, just ask them out.  I gave up trying to figure out if a girl was attracted to me or not years ago.

And yes, there are ways that guys can make themselves less creepy so I don't deny that it's more than just looks.  But looks play a big part of it.
 
2013-02-06 04:29:48 AM  

The Voice of Doom: tinfoil-hat maggie
Tavernknight:

What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.

That would probably work with me ; )

The article clearly explains that the book is a signal that he wants to be left alone, you unrespectful creeperette!


I didn't say I would bother him while he was reading. : )
 
2013-02-06 04:39:31 AM  
The more I think about it, the more I think "pick up" is entirely the wrong approach for an interesting or even, dare I say, long term relationship.  I know that's not the point of picking someone up, but hear me out.  You want to get to know someone.  You have to approach it differently per individual and by your own wants.  If you want a long term relationship, friendship is the way to start, I think at least.  If you're just trying to pick up a random stranger, you don't know that they're not seeking a long term relationship - if they are, the "pick up" stuff will just come off as creepy.  If they're not, they probably would get it on with much less effort on your part.

The catch is, you don't know this about a person until you actually try it.  So, why not drop all of the con artistry and quit bemoaning the friend zone, and just get to know people before you make up your mind about trying to hop onto / into their organs?
 
2013-02-06 04:43:41 AM  

Tommy Moo: HotWingAgenda: Tommy Moo: On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.

That, my friend, is extremely creepy.

No it isn't. It might read that way, but trust me, it plays fine when you're just having a casual conversation. It's a testing the water move. What's creepy is standing there awkwardly after two hours of not touching her and then suddenly leaning in for a kiss. Watch her recoil and turn her cheek to you! When you slowly escalate the physical contact, stopping at each step to gauge her reaction, you never, ever end up with a huge, awkward gaffe like that. Keep it light. Keep it happy. If you ever feel like she didn't like something you did, back it up.

I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.


Good for you and it makes sense, but it still comes off a creepy.

Well, just for the uggos..... (or is it 'nice guys' now? who is everyone raging against?)
 
2013-02-06 04:47:55 AM  
I'm tall, so I don't bother flirting with anyone. In my experience, I am too physically intimidating to flirt well, and frankly, I care more about my professional reputation than attracting women at this point. I simply don't want to get anywhere near a situation where women could have even the possibility of the potential to falsely accuse me of something.
 
2013-02-06 04:50:51 AM  

gadian: The more I think about it, the more I think "pick up" is entirely the wrong approach for an interesting or even, dare I say, long term relationship.  I know that's not the point of picking someone up, but hear me out.  You want to get to know someone.  You have to approach it differently per individual and by your own wants.  If you want a long term relationship, friendship is the way to start, I think at least.  If you're just trying to pick up a random stranger, you don't know that they're not seeking a long term relationship - if they are, the "pick up" stuff will just come off as creepy.  If they're not, they probably would get it on with much less effort on your part.

The catch is, you don't know this about a person until you actually try it.  So, why not drop all of the con artistry and quit bemoaning the friend zone, and just get to know people before you make up your mind about trying to hop onto / into their organs?


I think the problem is that unless a person is very attractive, a lot of the time they will have to show someone of the opposite sex that they are worth investing time in.  For many guys (and women), if they just approach someone and start chatting, without applying any 'pick up' stuff, the other person will probably just politely talk for a few minutes and then move on.

Example.  I've occasionally had average looking women talk to me for no particular reason.  Just small talk.  I'll chat, think nothing of it and then carry on my day.  It never even crosses my mind to think 'I wonder if they'd like to go out sometime.  Unless I'm blown away by their appearance, they are just another random encounter throughout my day.  And I guarantee this is the same for women too.  But make that person remember you by making them laugh, making yourself sound interesting and using a few other clever techniques and they might just see something they like.

In short, for most people we need to make a potential partner see something in us so they'll care enough to want to meet again.  And like it or not, the pick up stuff is the best way to do that.  I find the pick up stuff a constant struggle because it doesn't come naturally to me.  But I have to accept that it's the best way to succeed.
 
2013-02-06 04:54:58 AM  

gunther_bumpass: untaken_name: astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip.

Ok, so how do I ever find out that she has all of my interests and is a blast to hang out with, again?


By treating her like a human being instead of a potential lay.


If I wanted to interact with a human being, I'd talk to a man.
 
2013-02-06 04:56:05 AM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.

1. Your body was turned toward me every time you came to my table, not sideways looking over your shoulder. signal

2. You swept your hair out of your eyes with your hand while writing down my order. major signal

3. When you brought my sizzling fajitas, you said something about me being "extremely hot". alarm bells going off

4. At the end of the meal, after learning that I have a prestigious Visa Gold card, you brought me a pen and paper. not sure why you didn't call the number I wrote down, I have impeccable handwriting

5. I think the hostess might be jealous of our relationship, she obviously waited way too long to tell you I called. best to just bring her along with you on our date, 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and all...

/why haven't you called back?


Sorry it obviously wasn't me because of #2, in a restaurant you learn not to touch your hair, you don't want to accidentally get hair in the customers food.
Sorry your true lady love hasn't call you back : )
 
2013-02-06 04:59:43 AM  
SAT time:

Jezebel is to Gender Relations as:
a) Townhall is to Politics
b) Clowns are to Comedy
c) Fark is to News
d) Goatse is to Erotica
e) All of the Above

/Hint: The Answer is 'e'
 
2013-02-06 05:10:39 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Legalized prostitution would solve stupid matters like this.


Yeah, this. Removing market distortions by getting rid of artificial scarcity of poontang would probably be a major corrective force on biatchiness and twatitude.

/Did I type that out loud?
//Sorry, I'm really not like that
///The Jezebel stupidity brings it out in me
 
2013-02-06 05:20:33 AM  
I appreciate the article subby. It's time I changed, evolved, became more than what I am. I shall no longer be just a wierdo, but armed with this information, I will now become a wierdo creeper!

And then back into the pokeball I go.
 
2013-02-06 06:04:44 AM  

HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive


This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.
 
2013-02-06 06:17:41 AM  

gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.


This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.
 
2013-02-06 06:18:25 AM  
My biggest problem right now with women is just finding someone that I like. Once you get past any self esteem or validation issues women represent to you then you quickly realize most women that reject you are no better suited for you than you are for them.

The problem with most guys failing with women is they try and hit on girls they have nothing in common with. If you're a nerdy guy with nerdy interests then chances are that girl decked out in designer clothing wants nothing to do with you and even if you convince her to date you she'd annoy the fark out of you.
 
2013-02-06 06:20:31 AM  

gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.


Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.
 
2013-02-06 06:21:37 AM  

miss diminutive: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.


Not this. See above.
 
2013-02-06 06:28:25 AM  

miss diminutive: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.


The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that one finds a person unattractive you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell'. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued, by anyone, article included point that once you get to know some one, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.
 
2013-02-06 06:32:19 AM  
Let me re-write that in something approaching English:

The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that if one finds a person unattractive then you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell', you will auto-reject them as creepy. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued point, which is not made byanyone including the article, that once you get to know someone, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.

/Farking jezebel, makes me talk no good mad so much at stupid
 
2013-02-06 06:33:04 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.


Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.
 
2013-02-06 06:34:27 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.


Do you not realize that a guy's first words are the same ones that can make him unattractive even when from across the room or whatever he was attractive as with the unattractive guys first words might make him more attractive? Words have power, I mean because of yours your now tagged, no I want give you the thrill of knowing what but that's the way the world works.
 
2013-02-06 06:34:30 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.


Ugh, retail. I once had an older gentleman come up to my cash register at a big box office supply store, look me straight in the eye, and tell me he was going to have my children one day. He had a nasty habit of doing that to all of the young female workers at that store, and basically had to be escorted out by management whenever he came in.

The creepiest pickup lines I've had thrown my way:
1) "You are too pretty to be lesbian!" by some random creep at a club, accompanied by a squeeze to my butt and boobs. I had been dancing with a gay male friend of mine to fend off guys at another friend's birthday party, had turned down the creep, and then he had his friend grab me and pull me away from my friend because "no" was not a strong enough indicator that I wasn't interested.
2) "Well, I'd like to donate an organ to YOU sometime" by an objectively attractive and still very creepy cashier at a party store after seeing I was an organ donor on my license.
3) "Take a look at your future, my sweet love" by some dude on the street in Brooklyn, who grabbed me on the butt in broad daylight on a busy street, while I had my arms linked with my sister, and leaned into my ear to whisper this.

/css
//being gay I have met my fair share of creeper ladies as well, but they are vastly outnumbered by the creeper guys
///had much less of a problem with this in college when I ran with a pack of metalhead dudes, if any creeps came near they suddenly found themselves faced with 6 guys with several hunting knives apiece and quickly decided it was in their best interest to fark off
 
2013-02-06 06:35:06 AM  
You can be creepy for being unattractive, you can be creepy for your behaviour, you can be creepy because the other person just isn't feeling it. Either way its not going to happen with that person so move the heck on with your life, plenty of people to meet out there.

Woman or man, doesn't matter, the ability to be creepy transcends genders. Doesn't make the man an asshole, doesn't make the woman a biatch, doesn't really matter in the long run or deserve much thought. I you're comfortable with who you are just move on.
 
2013-02-06 06:35:53 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Let me re-write that in something approaching English:

The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that if one finds a person unattractive then you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell', you will auto-reject them as creepy. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued point, which is not made byanyone including the article, that once you get to know someone, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.

/Farking jezebel, makes me talk no good mad so much at stupid


How initial are we talking? I'm talking about the first words that come out of the guys mouth.  And yes, people ARE making that argument in this thread that the only thing that makes someone a creeper is being unattractive.  It has been actually said on occasion in this very thread that "good looking guys can get away with anything." So, did you just not read this thread?
 
2013-02-06 06:36:29 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.


I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.
 
2013-02-06 06:36:51 AM  

ciberido: Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.

Allow John Waters to explain the difference.


Thanks for that. One of my first thoughts too but I was too lazy to look it up.
 
2013-02-06 06:40:06 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.

I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.


Yes, people have been arguing that. It's been said in this very thread and if that were the criticism, it was ineloquently stated at best. Or are you proposing we only can talk strictly in terms of the article now and not comment on what's said in the thread? Since when?
 
2013-02-06 06:42:50 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Do you not realize that a guy's first words are the same ones that can make him unattractive even when from across the room or whatever he was attractive as with the unattractive guys first words might make him more attractive? Words have power, I mean because of yours your now tagged, no I want give you the thrill of knowing what but that's the way the world works.


Tag me, block me, break my little on-line heart.  gulogulo's post stated "in the end", sure, maybe she/he/it meant after the first sentence, but "in the end" implies to me a more substantial getting-to-know-you period. And that's the point. You don't even get that far if any approach is deemed 'creepy by virtue of unattractiveness'.
 
2013-02-06 06:49:02 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.

I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.

Yes, people have been arguing that. It's been said in this very thread and if that were the criticism, it was ineloquently stated at best. Or are you proposing we only can talk strictly in terms of the article now and not comment on what's said in the thread? Since when?


K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.
 
2013-02-06 06:50:44 AM  
As a woman, here's my problem with any advice articles like this and PUA. It's so painfully obvious, and shouldn't need to be said, that women and men are individuals and what is sound advice for one, does not work for another.

I'm a nerdy girl. I 'm pretty extroverted and have been told I'm not a complete uggo.  I don't ever want to sleep with any guy I've met on the first date. I'm not a prude, I have no personal problem with anyone who wants to fark on the first date, it's just my sexual attraction doesn't really kick in until they start stimulating my mind and that can take a couple of dates.  So I'm not going to know right away how much I like you, but I'm also not looking for a one night stand.  It might not work out, and it also might.  I also have a finely tuned PUA bullshiat meter.  So people like the PUA above in this thread would pretty much be instantly rejected. I'm not bashing him, though, he obviously wants a certain kind of relationship for which I'm not suited. If you aren't looking for long term, then that probably works great.

Incidentally, I haven't read 50 Shades of Gray and to equate porn (which is all it is) as being indicative of reality of all women's tastes in men is ludicrous.  Any more than I can assume what's on Red Tube is indicative of what all men want in women. There just isn't as much variety in porn specifically aimed at women, and it's arguably more difficult to construct as it has to usually be of written word, so it makes a bigger splash when it hits the public.
 
2013-02-06 06:53:40 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.


Well daggum it, I didn't know I was going to need to quote it until now! I'm not going back through all the comments to find it! And I'm posting on Fark, I reserve to right to be lazy. I would like to mention that I refrained on commenting about it until it was like the 5th or 6th guy coming in to ONLY say it has to do with attractiveness.  But, no one sees the comments I refrained to make, so that's kind of neither here nor there.
 
2013-02-06 06:55:48 AM  
Call me old fashioned but... How about a polite introduction, ask them their name while holding the gaze and the hand slightly longer than usual, but not so long as to be creepy. Engage in a conversation about interests (besides work or boyfriends, etc.). Invite the person on your yacht over the weekend. It also helps if there's another couple or two there with you to vouch that they will be on the boat as well. It doesn't always work for me, but I find it's a decent non-creepy approach. Having a yacht helps.
 
2013-02-06 06:57:40 AM  

Tommy Moo: Explain the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon then. I stand behind my assessment. Anyway, life is constantly proving me right. Think what you will.


I'd wager that most women entertained and titilated by reading 50 Shades of Grey aren't actually looking to become some controlling jerks' love slaves any more than most guys watching video porn are actually contemplating becoming pizza deliverymen. There's a giant farking difference between enjoying a porn fantasy and wanting that as a reality.
 
2013-02-06 06:58:09 AM  

breadprincess: tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.

Ugh, retail. I once had an older gentleman come up to my cash register at a big box office supply store, look me straight in the eye, and tell me he was going to have my children one day. He had a nasty habit of doing that to all of the young female workers at that store, and basically had to be escorted out by management whenever he came in.

The creepiest pickup lines I've had thrown my way:
1) "You are too pretty to be lesbian!" by some random creep at a club, accompanied by a squeeze to my butt and boobs. I had been dancing with a gay male friend of mine to fend off guys at another friend's birthday party, had turned down the creep, and then he had his friend grab me and pull me away from my friend because "no" was not a strong enough indicator that I wasn't interested.
2) "Well, I'd like to donate an organ to YOU sometime" by an objectively attractive and still very creepy cashier at a party store after seeing I was an organ donor on my license.
3) "Take a look at your future, my sweet love" by some dude on the street in Brooklyn, who grabbed me on the butt in broad daylight on a busy street, while I had my arms linked with my sister, and leaned into my ear to whisper this.

/css
//being gay I have met my fair share of creeper ladies as well, but they are vastly outnumbered by the creeper guys
///had much less of a problem with this in college when I ran with a pack of metalhead dudes, if any creeps ...


Defiantly CSS reminds me of my own upbringing first girl I lived with was when I was 18 had a lot of cousins that were metalheads/gearheads and such and stopped a lot of problems before they started in that small southern town, granted I was a bit worried when we broke up but it ended well enough.

And you're right men and women can say uncouth/inappropriate things or act inappropriately but the real thing is when I guy does it you're not sure if there is the potential for violence. I mean I never left the restaurant alone late at night.
 
2013-02-06 07:00:37 AM  

Dogsbody: Call me old fashioned but... How about a polite introduction, ask them their name while holding the gaze and the hand slightly longer than usual, but not so long as to be creepy. Engage in a conversation about interests (besides work or boyfriends, etc.). Invite the person on your yacht over the weekend. It also helps if there's another couple or two there with you to vouch that they will be on the boat as well. It doesn't always work for me, but I find it's a decent non-creepy approach. Having a yacht helps.


No actually that's kinda creepy and I've heard how that boat story ends : )
 
2013-02-06 07:00:39 AM  

Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"


You're that chicken mittens guy, aren't you?
 
2013-02-06 07:01:54 AM  
I second the "don't be overtly flirtatious in a situation where they are a captive audience."  That goes for men AND women. I had a shuttle driver do that to me, in front of the other passengers. It went from me trying to be courteous since I was sitting in the front and striking up conversation to inappropriate offers of him to take me directly to my house (a service the shuttle doesn't offer).  It was a 2 hour drive and I was enormously unnerved by his aggressiveness.
 
2013-02-06 07:03:55 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.

Well daggum it, I didn't know I was going to need to quote it until now! I'm not going back through all the comments to find it! And I'm posting on Fark, I reserve to right to be lazy. I would like to mention that I refrained on commenting about it until it was like the 5th or 6th guy coming in to ONLY say it has to do with attractiveness.  But, no one sees the comments I refrained to make, so that's kind of neither here nor there.


You should take up Fark Zen Buddism.  Then you'd only see the comments people refrained from making. It's a better read.
 
2013-02-06 07:06:53 AM  
Was on the subway last week at witnessed a poor girl get hit on. She definitely looked like she didn't want to be bothered: headphones on, bag on her lap, sleepy-eyed. This guy and his friend get on and sit next to her. The guy asks her something (I didn't hear, I had my headphones on as well), she shakes her head and says "I'm good." He then pulls out an open bag of candy from his pocket and offers it to her. Again, she shakes her head and says "I'm good." His friend was laughing to himself.

Really offering candy to a stranger? That's your pick-up?
 
2013-02-06 07:10:12 AM  

gulogulo: As a woman, here's my problem with any advice articles like this and PUA. It's so painfully obvious, and shouldn't need to be said, that women and men are individuals and what is sound advice for one, does not work for another.

I'm a nerdy girl. I 'm pretty extroverted and have been told I'm not a complete uggo.  I don't ever want to sleep with any guy I've met on the first date. I'm not a prude, I have no personal problem with anyone who wants to fark on the first date, it's just my sexual attraction doesn't really kick in until they start stimulating my mind and that can take a couple of dates.  So I'm not going to know right away how much I like you, but I'm also not looking for a one night stand.  It might not work out, and it also might.  I also have a finely tuned PUA bullshiat meter.  So people like the PUA above in this thread would pretty much be instantly rejected. I'm not bashing him, though, he obviously wants a certain kind of relationship for which I'm not suited. If you aren't looking for long term, then that probably works great.

Incidentally, I haven't read 50 Shades of Gray and to equate porn (which is all it is) as being indicative of reality of all women's tastes in men is ludicrous.  Any more than I can assume what's on Red Tube is indicative of what all men want in women. There just isn't as much variety in porn specifically aimed at women, and it's arguably more difficult to construct as it has to usually be of written word, so it makes a bigger splash when it hits the public.


You are the reason the pickup artist community exists...and thrives.  Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe.  It's not about cheesy pickup lines, rude insults and trying to score on the first date.  A pickup artist is someone who uses his resources to make himself the most attractive he can be.  That you assume to know what kind of relationship pickup artists want proves you don't know anything about them.

Ironically, feminists hate PUAs and "creepers" yet the fundamentals of pickup artistry teach men how precisely not to be creepy and know when a girl isn't interested and move on.  Those who master the game don't resort to sexual harassment because they know the right way to pickup women - hence the name PUA.
 
2013-02-06 07:14:08 AM  

freeforever: You are the reason the pickup artist community exists...and thrives. Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe. It's not about cheesy pickup lines, rude insults and trying to score on the first date. A pickup artist is someone who uses his resources to make himself the most attractive he can be. That you assume to know what kind of relationship pickup artists want proves you don't know anything about them.


I guess my only experience with it is the stupid tv show that highlighted it. I guess I assumed that being a Pick Up Artist means you actually repeatedly use your craft, even after you have established a relationship with one person.  So the very nature of how the "craft" is talked about makes it look like someone who is looking for serial relationships than establishing a serious relationship long term with one person.
 
2013-02-06 07:16:25 AM  

freeforever: Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe.


Just to clarify, stimulating my mind actually means you have to be pretty damn smart. If you're a charming lug, you're still a lug and I will get annoyed and bored.  That's not something learning the arts of body language can teach you.
 
2013-02-06 07:17:14 AM  
Is it creepy to buy a complete stranger a Rainbow Brite costume?

just wondering

/although someone one uped me with a farking horse...
 
2013-02-06 07:24:11 AM  

GregoryD: Is it creepy to buy a complete stranger a Rainbow Brite costume?

just wondering

/although someone one uped me with a farking horse...


Not if it's on their wishlist but otherwise it might be.

/Wait explain more about this farking horse, that's not creepy?
: )
 
2013-02-06 07:26:06 AM  
i couldn't bring myself to read the article (jezebel, really?) but from skimming the comments, you guys sound like you're putting a lot of effort into this shiat.

have many friends of the opposite sex. they seem more concerned with my sex life than i am, and for some reason it all works out. i guess that's a pile of women i'm friendzoned with, or whatever the kids are calling non-nookie-relationships currently, but those non-nookie-relationships seem intent on ensuring i'm either the rebound boink for a friend of theirs, or the 'nice guy' they set up with people they work with.

at some point, i'll be honest and call it charity, but as long as i'm happy with the situation, i'm content to call it a benevolent reaction to apathy.
 
2013-02-06 07:27:06 AM  
Step 1: Be attractive

There is no Step 2
 
2013-02-06 07:37:08 AM  

Tommy Moo: Some of them are like that, but it's honestly a diverse crowd with different goals and strategies. You'll find a few clowns who are just trying to burn through as many women as they can to impress their guy friends, but you'll also find a lot of genuine guy

s...

Tommy Moo: I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.


Yup, sounds about right.
 
2013-02-06 07:40:40 AM  
media-mcw.cursecdn.com

Fark Creepers.

One of these bastards was in my house one day. Door was closed and everything. I had a long hard day of building, the mobs where coming, so I went to my house to sleep. I open the door, make a left, and staring me in the face is a Goddamn creeper.

'what the f-'
*HSSSSSSSSSS*
*oh fuc-*
*Boom*
 
2013-02-06 07:40:48 AM  
I love these threads so f*cking much
 
2013-02-06 07:44:30 AM  

Coelacanth Filet: PUA is social nihilism, sure, but it works. Hate the game, not the player, etc.


No, if they think that game is a good idea, I'm in the clear for hating the player.

But yeah, friend-zoning and the "women don't like 'nice guys'" stuff is still bullshiat.  If a woman tells you she likes you as a friend you have two scenarios:
1) She doesn't really like you, but is a nervous about how you will react if she actually flat out says "No, I'm not interested." Possibly because you're behaving like someone who's going to take great offense at the idea she wouldn't want to date you.
2) She actually thinks you're a fun person to hang out with.  This should not be the end of the farking world; friends are awesome.  Friendship isn't a consolation prize. If you don't want that, then back the fark off.  Be her friend or DON'T; don't skulk around behind her like some demented remora looking for any fragment of attention.

If she doesn't see you as a romantic option and just sees you as a friend (which she is allowed to farking do); that's when it's time to take a second to reevaluate why you're friends with the girl.  And if you think you really are okay with being her friend? Respect the other party's decision, act like a decent farking human being, and don't think she OWES you something because you're nice to her.  And if you can't do that?  You're not a "nice guy"; you're the same kind of douchebag you're railing against, you just hide it better.


And additional food for thought: If you start to wonder why all the girls you like only like jerks, it's possible you need to reevaluate what kind of women you are interested in.  Because, I'm not gonna lie, some women have appallingly shiatty taste in relationships, and some men have equally appalling taste.  It happens.

And as far as the idea that women are being shallow and that being creepy is just "hitting on someone while being unattractive", don't think for a farking SECOND that men can't be guilty of the same farking thing. If Salma Hayek sat right nex to you on the bus (when there are plenty of free seats) and pulled your headphone out to ask "what are you listening to?" You'd probably react a lot differently than if a 300 lb woman with greasy hair did.
 
2013-02-06 07:44:55 AM  
CSB time:

I was once treated as if I was being a creeper at a bar. The ESPN show Sport Science was on, and they were talking about some physics concepts as it applied to gymnastics. There was a group of 3 sitting next to me, a guy and then two women. The woman 2 seats from me said that this would be a great thing to show in the classroom. At the time, I was working as a physics tutor and had just completed my physics degree. I overheard her conversation, turned and asked her if she was a science teacher. She responded no, she teaches English, so I apologized for overhearing, and explained that I was a physics tutor and that I agreed with her. Her guy friend started talking to me about some pop sci physics concept, which I was happy to do, but when our little side discussion finished, the two women had slid a few seats down, around the corner of the bar table.

Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.

Oh well.
 
2013-02-06 07:46:42 AM  
I do love the way that threads like this devolve into 2 camps:
Those to whom this is all obvious,
Those whose posts could be paraphrased as "I'm a creepy guy, but I still believe it is all the fault of every single woman I have ever met"
 
2013-02-06 07:48:38 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Step 1: Be attractive

There is no Step 2


Step 2: Have a lot of money. There are some women who do not think everything is about attractiveness.
 
2013-02-06 07:49:13 AM  
In my experience, women like to be wooed by romantic gestures.

So be sure to gaze longingly into her eyes, and say romantically, "Wooooooo."
 
2013-02-06 07:52:24 AM  

browntimmy: ... it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen...


We all know that? I'm guessing that you haven't seen much of the world.
 
2013-02-06 07:53:20 AM  

jack21221: Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.


Or they had something they wanted to 'girl chat about' between themselves and didn't want to interrupt your conversation. It may have had nothing to do with you.
 
2013-02-06 07:55:28 AM  

jack21221: CSB time:

I was once treated as if I was being a creeper at a bar. The ESPN show Sport Science was on, and they were talking about some physics concepts as it applied to gymnastics. There was a group of 3 sitting next to me, a guy and then two women. The woman 2 seats from me said that this would be a great thing to show in the classroom. At the time, I was working as a physics tutor and had just completed my physics degree. I overheard her conversation, turned and asked her if she was a science teacher. She responded no, she teaches English, so I apologized for overhearing, and explained that I was a physics tutor and that I agreed with her. Her guy friend started talking to me about some pop sci physics concept, which I was happy to do, but when our little side discussion finished, the two women had slid a few seats down, around the corner of the bar table.

Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.

Oh well.


Heh, no. Try this guy attaches himself to two girls that walk into a bar, second dude end up engaging in conversation with first dude, girls make escape. Sorry just my 2 cents(not valid in Canada)
 
2013-02-06 07:56:01 AM  

Dansker: browntimmy: ... it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen...

We all know that? I'm guessing that you haven't seen much of the world.


That's true. The Mosuo women in China do that all the time.
 
2013-02-06 07:57:16 AM  

MayoSlather: My biggest problem right now with women is just finding someone that I like. Once you get past any self esteem or validation issues women represent to you then you quickly realize most women that reject you are no better suited for you than you are for them.

The problem with most guys failing with women is they try and hit on girls they have nothing in common with. If you're a nerdy guy with nerdy interests then chances are that girl decked out in designer clothing wants nothing to do with you and even if you convince her to date you she'd annoy the fark out of you.


I used to be so guilty of this. Before I learned the difference between lust and love. Sometimes lust is so overpowering that you attribute traits to them that they don't have, and you feel like an idiot once the lust goes away and the realization hits that your angel is really a wired hair man goblin.
 
2013-02-06 07:57:16 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Heh, no. Try this guy attaches himself to two girls that walk into a bar, second dude end up engaging in conversation with first dude, girls make escape. Sorry just my 2 cents(not valid in Canada)


So dude number 1 was the creeper!?!? I like this mystery
 
2013-02-06 07:59:12 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jack21221: CSB time:

I was once treated as if I was being a creeper at a bar. The ESPN show Sport Science was on, and they were talking about some physics concepts as it applied to gymnastics. There was a group of 3 sitting next to me, a guy and then two women. The woman 2 seats from me said that this would be a great thing to show in the classroom. At the time, I was working as a physics tutor and had just completed my physics degree. I overheard her conversation, turned and asked her if she was a science teacher. She responded no, she teaches English, so I apologized for overhearing, and explained that I was a physics tutor and that I agreed with her. Her guy friend started talking to me about some pop sci physics concept, which I was happy to do, but when our little side discussion finished, the two women had slid a few seats down, around the corner of the bar table.

Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.

Oh well.

Heh, no. Try this guy attaches himself to two girls that walk into a bar, second dude end up engaging in conversation with first dude, girls make escape. Sorry just my 2 cents(not valid in Canada)


Yeah, I like that explanation better. I've been there. You know, sometimes when I'm out with my girlfriends I'm really out with them to talk with them. It may be something important we were going to hash out over a beer. I don't want to be hit on at that point, but the guy could be a really nice guy.
 
2013-02-06 08:00:41 AM  

Tat'dGreaser: tinfoil-hat maggie: Heh, no. Try this guy attaches himself to two girls that walk into a bar, second dude end up engaging in conversation with first dude, girls make escape. Sorry just my 2 cents(not valid in Canada)

So dude number 1 was the creeper!?!? I like this mystery


Zoinks ; ) And I don't even have a cool mystery van wait that could sound weird ; )
 
2013-02-06 08:03:01 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Zoinks ; ) And I don't even have a cool mystery van wait that could sound weird ; )


Well if women call it a Rape Van then it's cute and saucy, so go for it.
 
2013-02-06 08:07:02 AM  
Eh, flirting is something I don't have a grasp on. I'm the type who is surprisingly smart, almost too much for my own good, and skilled with many things which require critical thinking. I'm also pretty good with figuring people out, until it comes to the subject of attraction. I don't know how to flirt. It's not a natural thing for me. there has been once, maybe twice, in my life where someone started to do it with me but I didn't realize it until hours later.

I'm not emotionally disconnected. I'm actually far more "in touch" with them than the vast majority of men.It's just that attraction is hard for me to automatically understand. Not that I've ever been a creeper. I'm sure that it doesn't help any that I'm a, uh, less than classically attractive introvert. I don't exactly have the experience needed to make up for my lack of natural ability. Beyond that, the type of girl who is my type/interests me is rare.

/My love life sucks.
 
2013-02-06 08:07:24 AM  

Fano: grinding_journalist: I have discovered that my wedding ring is a turn on for a small but acceptable cross-section of the hot/crazy axes.

I once had a moment of clarity with a guy in college that was married; we were at a bar and he pointed to me all the women at the bar that were/would be interested in him. He then said were he to take his ring off he would be just as stupid as me. I took home the lesson that when you disassociate you can see the picture better. It didn't help.

/getting married on Memorial Day


If you think for a second that getting married gets you laid, you are in for a rude awakening. Congrats!
 
2013-02-06 08:09:43 AM  

CtrlAltDestroy: Eh, flirting is something I don't have a grasp on. I'm the type who is surprisingly smart, almost too much for my own good, and skilled with many things which require critical thinking. I'm also pretty good with figuring people out, until it comes to the subject of attraction. I don't know how to flirt. It's not a natural thing for me. there has been once, maybe twice, in my life where someone started to do it with me but I didn't realize it until hours later.


You don't need to FLIRT FLIRT, just do what you say you can do and talk to them. See I can be the most charming man ever but I don't ever go up to a woman in public and hit on her. It's just something I was never comfortable doing but I've "done well" in my life by just being good at conversation. Oh and being a hot piece of man meat but let's not toot my horn here. Toot toot.
 
2013-02-06 08:10:55 AM  

gulogulo: tinfoil-hat maggie: jack21221: CSB time:

I was once treated as if I was being a creeper at a bar. The ESPN show Sport Science was on, and they were talking about some physics concepts as it applied to gymnastics. There was a group of 3 sitting next to me, a guy and then two women. The woman 2 seats from me said that this would be a great thing to show in the classroom. At the time, I was working as a physics tutor and had just completed my physics degree. I overheard her conversation, turned and asked her if she was a science teacher. She responded no, she teaches English, so I apologized for overhearing, and explained that I was a physics tutor and that I agreed with her. Her guy friend started talking to me about some pop sci physics concept, which I was happy to do, but when our little side discussion finished, the two women had slid a few seats down, around the corner of the bar table.

Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.

Oh well.

Heh, no. Try this guy attaches himself to two girls that walk into a bar, second dude end up engaging in conversation with first dude, girls make escape. Sorry just my 2 cents(not valid in Canada)

Yeah, I like that explanation better. I've been there. You know, sometimes when I'm out with my girlfriends I'm really out with them to talk with them. It may be something important we were going to hash out over a beer. I don't want to be hit on at that point, but the guy could be a really nice guy.


Yea, I know, I've been there except in my case girlfriend generally means I'm sleeping with them but yea it is a pain.
 
2013-02-06 08:11:44 AM  

Tat'dGreaser: CtrlAltDestroy: Eh, flirting is something I don't have a grasp on. I'm the type who is surprisingly smart, almost too much for my own good, and skilled with many things which require critical thinking. I'm also pretty good with figuring people out, until it comes to the subject of attraction. I don't know how to flirt. It's not a natural thing for me. there has been once, maybe twice, in my life where someone started to do it with me but I didn't realize it until hours later.

You don't need to FLIRT FLIRT, just do what you say you can do and talk to them. See I can be the most charming man ever but I don't ever go up to a woman in public and hit on her. It's just something I was never comfortable doing but I've "done well" in my life by just being good at conversation. Oh and being a hot piece of man meat but let's not toot my horn here. Toot toot.


Speaking as a smart girl, I don't like to be hit on. I REALLY love having conversations about mutual interests and compelling topics. It's usually when I'm having one of those conversations that I suddenly find myself immensely attracted to a person.
 
2013-02-06 08:12:43 AM  

Tat'dGreaser: tinfoil-hat maggie: Zoinks ; ) And I don't even have a cool mystery van wait that could sound weird ; )

Well if women call it a Rape Van then it's cute and saucy, so go for it.


Hey you are talking to a girl that own a VW camper van way back in the day and no one got raped ; )
 
2013-02-06 08:13:08 AM  

gulogulo: Speaking as a smart girl, I don't like to be hit on. I REALLY love having conversations about mutual interests and compelling topics. It's usually when I'm having one of those conversations that I suddenly find myself immensely attracted to a person.


See, there you go. I'm not a pick up artist at all but I gave a good piece of advice that a woman agreed with. You don't need tricks and lines, just hold a conversation for crying out loud.
 
2013-02-06 08:13:29 AM  

Snarfangel: Dansker: browntimmy: ... it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen...

We all know that? I'm guessing that you haven't seen much of the world.

That's true. The Mosuo women in China do that all the time.


Well, of course we all know about the Mosuo, but I was thinking more about western societies that invest less importance in "traditional values" than browntimmy's homeland probably does. Being sexually agressive is easier when your upbringing and societal norms in general haven't taught you to be passive.
 
2013-02-06 08:15:21 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Yea, I know, I've been there except in my case girlfriend generally means I'm sleeping with them but yea it is a pain.


This is why the best place for me to go have those serious conversations with my friends are usually at a gay bar that is predominantly populated by men. Unfortunately, the new town I live in (in Georgia) does not have these establishments. Sure, you get the one or two straight men that are accompanying their gay friends, or the guy who is oriented ambivalently, but, it's so rare that it's barely worth mentioning.
 
2013-02-06 08:15:51 AM  
I usually mind my own goddamn business and I'm probably still perceived as a creeper.
 
2013-02-06 08:16:39 AM