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(Jezebel)   The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"   (jezebel.com) divider line 635
    More: Interesting, sex predator, p.f. chang, Amy Pond  
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10605 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-07 03:30:36 AM

AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".


FFS don`t start with "hello" it`s a fatal mistake that will put you straight into the friend zone!

"Hey baby, how YOU doing? Do you mind if I sit down? I just couldn`t help but see the shine in your hair from across the room and I had to come over and say hello. What`s your name? What`s that you are drinking? It looks nice, can I get you another?"

or

"Hello, my name is brian. What do you do for a living? I`m a data management consultant"

Who`s your daddy and who`s your friend......
 
2013-02-07 03:35:53 AM

Smackledorfer: SkunkWerks: Repo Man: But my point, which I apparently didn't make well enough, is that what is pretty, and what is ugly is both subjective and objective

My point is that they're so mostly subjective that the 0.001% objective by volume doesn't really matter much.

Honestly, it doesn't.

Being aware it exists is mostly a matter of semantics, I suppose.

While peoples' perfect tens certainly vary, there is quite a bit of objectivity in the looks department (as measured by sociologists looking at spacing between eyes, symmetry, etc).  Maybe the semantics here isn't whether things are objective or subjective, but rather whether or not that even matters: For the bulk of people anyone that would score a 9 or a 10 in their personal view is also going to be considered hot by almost everyone else.  Call it subjective or objective as you like.


I agree.

If one eye is much larger than the other one and bulges out and the other one is tiny and squinting whilst your nose is broken and looks like a boxers and at the same time you have three teeth, all black, which are wonky as well and your skin looks like an army firing range with craters, oozing puss and blotches I think it might be safe to say that you are butt ugly on everybodies scale.

Some things are not subjective, as much as you would like to wish they were. Some people are ugly on an absolute scale the same as some people are beautiful on an absolute scale.

Of course, some people just look crazy and remember, don`t dip it in crazy no matter how hot the crazy is...
 
2013-02-07 05:41:10 AM

dready zim: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

FFS don`t start with "hello" it`s a fatal mistake that will put you straight into the friend zone!

"Hey baby, how YOU doing? Do you mind if I sit down? I just couldn`t help but see the shine in your hair from across the room and I had to come over and say hello. What`s your name? What`s that you are drinking? It looks nice, can I get you another?"

or

"Hello, my name is brian. What do you do for a living? I`m a data management consultant"

Who`s your daddy and who`s your friend...


This would be terrible advice for someone trying to pick me up.
 
2013-02-07 07:00:23 AM

Repo Man: I disagree.


You can if you like.

Repo Man: Part of the problem is that there is so much agreement on what men find attractive.


If there is, I haven't seen any evidence of it.  I've seen a media that continues to like to set trends- regardless of what we do or don't like though.  I've seen those trends shift arbitrarily, over the last six or seven centuries.

It couldn't have less to do with what we all like.  Not much more to say really.  I think you're basing your idea on a fallacious notion.
 
2013-02-07 07:01:17 AM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: Yes, that's exactly what they look like.


So, Plumber's Crack?
 
2013-02-07 07:04:22 AM

Smackledorfer: (as measured by sociologists looking at spacing between eyes, symmetry, etc)


Most of which the vast majority of people fit in with.  Again, there are ALWAYS outliers.  As much as I find that research interesting (read it myself some time ago) I don't think it proves anything.

For one thing- right, wrong or indifferent- it's really only measuring "beauty" through the slightest fraction of our total perception.
 
2013-02-07 07:21:45 AM

Smackledorfer: For the bulk of people anyone that would score a 9 or a 10 in their personal view is also going to be considered hot by almost everyone else.


In thirty-six years of life, I've yet to see a single example of this.  Again, I'm not talking about a half-hour TV celebrity-obsessed tabloid where they go and interview people about what they think of Cher's new nose job (then throw out anyone whose opinion doesn't either fit the popular view, or supply the necessary "shock value" that a dissenting opinion should), or some other fluff piece, I'm talking about a situation where I know a bunch of other guys, they see a girl, and they all mostly agree she's hot.

Quite the contrary, my experience with situations like this is that it's much closer to "decision by committee", for those of you who've ever heard the joke "what has 100 legs and no brain?".

But if you want to talk about studies of perception, let's talk about how eye-witness testimony is notoriously inaccurate (and in empirically measurable ways).  Facial perceptions will vary, and hell, even major details will be perceived all out of whack by different people.

So people who often can't agree on what a single person they all saw actually looks like are going to agree on an aesthetic assessment of that person's "beauty"?

I've got a time-share in Siberia I'd love to sell you.
 
2013-02-07 08:36:40 AM

Smelly Pirate Hooker: If she started calling you at work, you might. If she showed up at your house, you definitely would. And if women murdered men in anywhere near the numbers that men murder women, you would feel threatened.


If you look at familial murders (those of siblings, parents, children and spouses), the perpetrator is female in a third of the cases. Taking that down to just spousal murder is more relevant to your statement here. For spousal murder, the number is 41% overall, and 47% for black couples. PDF, Bureau of Justice Statistics.

The perception that the numbers are so vastly unbalanced doesn't seem to be supported by statistics I could find.
 
And they don't usually make multiple movies and TV shows in which the man who kills his wife is portrayed as some kind of heroic figure who got revenge for a terrible wrong the way they did about Betty Broderick  or as some kind of sympathetic anti-hero like Clara Harris was.
 
2013-02-07 08:36:58 AM

SkunkWerks: You sound unsure as to whether or not you have questions


maybe

SkunkWerks: or possibly whether or not they are indeed philosophical in nature


maybe

so how can i score with the hoes? also who should i vote for?
 
2013-02-07 08:48:14 AM

I drunk what: so how can i score with the hoes?


If I had to take a guess?  My best advice would be to use a hoe...  just be sure to wear a bonnet.
 
2013-02-07 08:50:04 AM
Smelly Pirate Hooker:
Thank goodness the manly men are here to explain to all of us stupid biatches what we really say and do.

c'mon, you kvetched about the words slut and whore (that you brought up in the first place), and you named yourself 'smelly pirate hooker'.


i'm not saying that makes you a stupid biatch, but self awareness may not exactly be your strong suit.
and that really has nothing to do with if you pee sitting down or standing up.
 
2013-02-07 08:50:35 AM

SkunkWerks: I drunk what: so how can i score with the hoes?

If I had to take a guess?  My best advice would be to use a hoe...  just be sure to wear a bonnet.


word, and then i should vote democrat?
 
2013-02-07 09:11:09 AM

SkunkWerks: Repo Man: I disagree.

You can if you like.

Repo Man: Part of the problem is that there is so much agreement on what men find attractive.

If there is, I haven't seen any evidence of it.  I've seen a media that continues to like to set trends- regardless of what we do or don't like though.  I've seen those trends shift arbitrarily, over the last six or seven centuries.

It couldn't have less to do with what we all like.  Not much more to say really.  I think you're basing your idea on a fallacious notion.




One example of something that isn't arbitrary: age. The perception of physical attractiveness drops like a stone as we age past our childbearing years. The correlation between youth and attractiveness spans across all cultures. Which is hardly a surprise since procreation is what is driving all of this.
 
2013-02-07 09:25:07 AM
don't worry about being thought of as creepy.  it doesn't mean anything about you as a person.  that's just what women say when they're approached by someone they're not interested in.  from your side though, nothing ventured nothing gained.  i'd say 75% of the time, even if a girl is attracted to you, you'll still need to make the first move.  that's our burden as men.  so just go up to her and do your thing.  if you get rejected, move on.  who gives a crap if she thinks you're "creepy" lol.  i mean try not to be a spaz or drool or pick your nose or whatever, but even if you do suck at talking to women, just suck it up and go for it anyway man!
 
2013-02-07 09:27:20 AM
Again, there are ALWAYS outliers.

Again, outliers do not invalidate the peak of the bell curve. By far, most people do not like to eat feces. The existence of coprophiliacs does not change this. Someone could say "I know a number of coprophiliacs personally, so I think there are lots of people who like to eat feces", thus demonstrating once again how faulty anecdotal evidence is.

Steven Pinker: Human nature and the blank slate
 
2013-02-07 09:53:19 AM

yapopo: don't worry about being thought of as creepy.  it doesn't mean anything about you as a person.  that's just what women say when they're approached by someone they're not interested in.


This is where you're dead wrong. It's what women say when they continue to be approached by someone they've said they're not interested in, and it does say a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

who gives a crap if she thinks you're "creepy" lol.

The people she talks to do. That's what makes it worth taking seriously when someone calls you creepy: it has a ripple effect. You ruin your chances not only with her, but with the people she knows, and depending on just how creepy you are, that can even go out by another degree. It should go without saying that you don't want that to happen, but the only way to prevent it is by not being creepy.
 
2013-02-07 10:04:19 AM

Millennium: yapopo: don't worry about being thought of as creepy.  it doesn't mean anything about you as a person.  that's just what women say when they're approached by someone they're not interested in.

This is where you're dead wrong. It's what women say when they continue to be approached by someone they've said they're not interested in, and it does say a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

who gives a crap if she thinks you're "creepy" lol.

The people she talks to do. That's what makes it worth taking seriously when someone calls you creepy: it has a ripple effect. You ruin your chances not only with her, but with the people she knows, and depending on just how creepy you are, that can even go out by another degree. It should go without saying that you don't want that to happen, but the only way to prevent it is by not being creepy.


nah, i disagree.  the fact is that "creepy" is relative.  one can't just decide to not be creepy.  it's better to put it out there and practice and risk a few gossips than to not try at all.  my general philosophy in life is that it's almost never productive to worry about what others think, as long as you're doing your best.  worrying about what other ppl think only serves to hold you back.  also, ppl care a lot less than you think.  let's say you go up to a girl in a bar and start talking to her.  she labels you "creepy" and you leave.  this girl may jabber about you for a minute with her friends, but is she going to remember or give a shiat about it one hour later?  hell no.
 
2013-02-07 10:12:17 AM

yapopo: Millennium: yapopo: don't worry about being thought of as creepy.  it doesn't mean anything about you as a person.  that's just what women say when they're approached by someone they're not interested in.

This is where you're dead wrong. It's what women say when they continue to be approached by someone they've said they're not interested in, and it does say a lot about you as a person, none of it good.

oh, didn't see this part.  no, you're wrong.  women (i know not ALL) will definitely label someone creepy just from one conversation.  i've been privy to plenty of that chatter.  also gotta disagree with your assessment of what it means.  if someone decides to base their self-worth on some random girl's labeling, then so be it.  i think that's a terrible way to live.

 
2013-02-07 10:33:29 AM

SkunkWerks: Smackledorfer: For the bulk of people anyone that would score a 9 or a 10 in their personal view is also going to be considered hot by almost everyone else.

In thirty-six years of life, I've yet to see a single example of this.  Again, I'm not talking about a half-hour TV celebrity-obsessed tabloid where they go and interview people about what they think of Cher's new nose job (then throw out anyone whose opinion doesn't either fit the popular view, or supply the necessary "shock value" that a dissenting opinion should), or some other fluff piece, I'm talking about a situation where I know a bunch of other guys, they see a girl, and they all mostly agree she's hot.

Quite the contrary, my experience with situations like this is that it's much closer to "decision by committee", for those of you who've ever heard the joke "what has 100 legs and no brain?".

But if you want to talk about studies of perception, let's talk about how eye-witness testimony is notoriously inaccurate (and in empirically measurable ways).  Facial perceptions will vary, and hell, even major details will be perceived all out of whack by different people.

So people who often can't agree on what a single person they all saw actually looks like are going to agree on an aesthetic assessment of that person's "beauty"?

I've got a time-share in Siberia I'd love to sell you.


You've never seen an example of a hot chick that most agree is hot?

Now you are just lying.
 
2013-02-07 10:44:25 AM

Smackledorfer: You've never seen an example of a hot chick that most agree is hot?

Now you are just lying.


Maybe you aren't lying.  Have you ever spent time with other males, had one point out a hot chick and everyone agrees? Happens to me all the time. Every been at the gym with your buddy and scoped the place out and came up with some agreement? I sure have.

Or wait until stealth hippopotamus fills a thread with pictures of scantily clad ladies.  Can you honestly say that a majority of male farkers aren't enjoying what they see?  If you can, do you have any rational basis for it? Because I never see those threads filled with people saying the women aren't attractive.  You have a very small minority who pops in to talk about curvy, but that's about it. And as a skinny-chick guy, guess what I find most of the curvy chicks that other guys post? Still hot.
 
2013-02-07 11:21:36 AM

I drunk what: and then i should vote democrat?


No.  Just ride in a Democrat Wagon.

Smackledorfer: Now you are just lying.


Well, if I am, I've wasted both your time and mine.  I would contend I've little reason to, other than to satisfy your personal need for validation, which I wasn't of course aware of until I read your initial comment.

Smackledorfer: Can you honestly say that a majority of male farkers aren't enjoying what they see?


No, but then I don't hang out with a majority of male Farkers.  The internet's a wonderful thing, but "hanging out" in that particular way is not something it facilitates well.  I think you'd agree.

That said, I'm not really sure what purpose this question serves.  If one demographic doesn't bear out a theory, choose another?  Process of elimination?  Where are we going here?

Smackledorfer: Because I never see those threads filled with people saying the women aren't attractive.


I've seen more than a few threads where the "hotness" of a given person is tossed back and forth.  Oddly enough people often bring up the subject of personal preference.

It's almost like different people like different things.

Smackledorfer: You have a very small minority who pops in to talk about curvy, but that's about it.


I'm not going to say you're lying, because insinuating that is kinda a dead-end when it comes to debate (unless you've got really, really solid grounds to believe it's so- and honestly I don't know you nearly well enough to have that strength of belief).  All I'm going to say is that, once again, our experiences differ, and I'd disagree with that assessment, both in the matters of frequency and quantity.

Smackledorfer: Maybe you aren't lying.


www.wearysloth.com

Repo Man: Again, outliers do not invalidate the peak of the bell curve.


Exactly my point.

While we're at it, the curve is made of a lot more than a peak.

Repo Man: thus demonstrating once again how faulty anecdotal evidence is.


Again, I refer you to the fallacy of:

a) defining "beauty" only with a fraction of the totality of human perception
b) assuming that everyone sees people the same way- down to even the larger details- even when searching for a prospective mate isn't part of the constellation of factors affecting those perceptions.

I still think your foundation is pretty shaky.
 
2013-02-07 11:37:41 AM
I'm only talking about physical beauty. Attraction involves a spectrum of qualities, but physical attraction is a major part (like most men, I'm capable of being attracted to women I don't even like based on their beauty). When large numbers are crunched, a pattern emerges, much like a pointillist painting. You're focusing on the individual dots, I'm focusing on the big picture.
 
2013-02-07 11:46:05 AM

Repo Man: I'm only talking about physical beauty.


I know.  And it's only a very small piece of a larger issue.

Repo Man: You're focusing on the individual dots, I'm focusing on the big picture.


I think you have that the wrong way around.

Your state of mind changes the way you see things, bottom line.  There are a great many studies which bear this out.

It's not a terribly reliable measure of a thing, as always.
 
2013-02-07 12:20:15 PM

SkunkWerks: No.


www.ihasaflavor.com

it was a trick question, you always vote democrat, your thoughts betray you

conservitard teahadist republicanatard

why do you hate women?
 
2013-02-07 12:35:45 PM

I drunk what: why do you hate women?


The benefits are good and they have a salad bar?

Pics of you in a Democrat Wagon: now.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-07 12:47:05 PM

SkunkWerks: Pics of you fark in a Democrat Wagon: now.


you said it brother

don't worry, republicans will bring balance to the force

http://vimeo.com/52009124
 
2013-02-07 12:55:09 PM

I drunk what: republicans will bring balance to the force


The force should have been designed with a Kochlea.
 
2013-02-07 02:40:47 PM
Too lazy to read all of the posts, but this weeks How I Met Your Mother covered the creepy stalker vs. welcome advances pretty good.
 
2013-02-07 07:44:05 PM
Don't PUA [pick-up artists] know that they act as if they are sociopathic? Don't they know that no intelligent woman would want them? I guess they are like Nigerian scam artists they are looking for ignorant and naive targets so they purposely act in such a way that their target would be the only one to respond.

PUA Guys: if you are not sociopaths just give this creepy technique up!! Sure, be wise about how you choose a person to ask out, but above all be real.
 
2013-02-07 07:52:41 PM
I'm late to the party here, but being attractive can offset being creepy.  Hell, 9 out of 10 romantic gestures in budding romances can be chalked up as creepy if the girl isn't attracted to the dude.
 
2013-02-08 12:19:32 AM

dogblue: Don't PUA [pick-up artists] know that they act as if they are sociopathic? Don't they know that no intelligent woman would want them? I guess they are like Nigerian scam artists they are looking for ignorant and naive targets so they purposely act in such a way that their target would be the only one to respond.

PUA Guys: if you are not sociopaths just give this creepy technique up!! Sure, be wise about how you choose a person to ask out, but above all be real.


"Be real"... another bit of useless advice that never, ever works.

You can be real and fail, or be fake and succeed. The choice is yours!
 
2013-02-08 09:16:40 AM

FirstNationalBastard: You can be real and fail, or be fake and succeed. The choice is yours!


That's just it... in the end you won't succeed. You might have some meaningless tail, but you'll die alone. The choice is yours, I suppose.
 
2013-02-08 10:39:33 AM

CapeFearCadaver: FirstNationalBastard: You can be real and fail, or be fake and succeed. The choice is yours!

That's just it... in the end you won't succeed. You might have some meaningless tail, but you'll die alone. The choice is yours, I suppose.


Everyone dies alone.
 
2013-02-08 11:38:10 AM

Repo Man: CapeFearCadaver: FirstNationalBastard: You can be real and fail, or be fake and succeed. The choice is yours!

That's just it... in the end you won't succeed. You might have some meaningless tail, but you'll die alone. The choice is yours, I suppose.

Everyone dies alone.


Well, at least I'll die knowing that I was loved by those who I loved. In that sense, no, those who are loved do not die alone. Nobody loves a mask.
 
2013-02-08 12:53:31 PM
CapeFearCadaver:
Well, at least I'll die knowing that I was loved by those who I loved. In that sense, no, those who are loved do not die alone. Nobody loves a mask.

Except Batman.
 
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