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(Jezebel)   The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"   (jezebel.com) divider line 635
    More: Interesting, sex predator, p.f. chang, Amy Pond  
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10608 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 04:39:31 AM  
The more I think about it, the more I think "pick up" is entirely the wrong approach for an interesting or even, dare I say, long term relationship.  I know that's not the point of picking someone up, but hear me out.  You want to get to know someone.  You have to approach it differently per individual and by your own wants.  If you want a long term relationship, friendship is the way to start, I think at least.  If you're just trying to pick up a random stranger, you don't know that they're not seeking a long term relationship - if they are, the "pick up" stuff will just come off as creepy.  If they're not, they probably would get it on with much less effort on your part.

The catch is, you don't know this about a person until you actually try it.  So, why not drop all of the con artistry and quit bemoaning the friend zone, and just get to know people before you make up your mind about trying to hop onto / into their organs?
 
2013-02-06 04:43:41 AM  

Tommy Moo: HotWingAgenda: Tommy Moo: On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.

That, my friend, is extremely creepy.

No it isn't. It might read that way, but trust me, it plays fine when you're just having a casual conversation. It's a testing the water move. What's creepy is standing there awkwardly after two hours of not touching her and then suddenly leaning in for a kiss. Watch her recoil and turn her cheek to you! When you slowly escalate the physical contact, stopping at each step to gauge her reaction, you never, ever end up with a huge, awkward gaffe like that. Keep it light. Keep it happy. If you ever feel like she didn't like something you did, back it up.

I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.


Good for you and it makes sense, but it still comes off a creepy.

Well, just for the uggos..... (or is it 'nice guys' now? who is everyone raging against?)
 
2013-02-06 04:47:55 AM  
I'm tall, so I don't bother flirting with anyone. In my experience, I am too physically intimidating to flirt well, and frankly, I care more about my professional reputation than attracting women at this point. I simply don't want to get anywhere near a situation where women could have even the possibility of the potential to falsely accuse me of something.
 
2013-02-06 04:50:51 AM  

gadian: The more I think about it, the more I think "pick up" is entirely the wrong approach for an interesting or even, dare I say, long term relationship.  I know that's not the point of picking someone up, but hear me out.  You want to get to know someone.  You have to approach it differently per individual and by your own wants.  If you want a long term relationship, friendship is the way to start, I think at least.  If you're just trying to pick up a random stranger, you don't know that they're not seeking a long term relationship - if they are, the "pick up" stuff will just come off as creepy.  If they're not, they probably would get it on with much less effort on your part.

The catch is, you don't know this about a person until you actually try it.  So, why not drop all of the con artistry and quit bemoaning the friend zone, and just get to know people before you make up your mind about trying to hop onto / into their organs?


I think the problem is that unless a person is very attractive, a lot of the time they will have to show someone of the opposite sex that they are worth investing time in.  For many guys (and women), if they just approach someone and start chatting, without applying any 'pick up' stuff, the other person will probably just politely talk for a few minutes and then move on.

Example.  I've occasionally had average looking women talk to me for no particular reason.  Just small talk.  I'll chat, think nothing of it and then carry on my day.  It never even crosses my mind to think 'I wonder if they'd like to go out sometime.  Unless I'm blown away by their appearance, they are just another random encounter throughout my day.  And I guarantee this is the same for women too.  But make that person remember you by making them laugh, making yourself sound interesting and using a few other clever techniques and they might just see something they like.

In short, for most people we need to make a potential partner see something in us so they'll care enough to want to meet again.  And like it or not, the pick up stuff is the best way to do that.  I find the pick up stuff a constant struggle because it doesn't come naturally to me.  But I have to accept that it's the best way to succeed.
 
2013-02-06 04:54:58 AM  

gunther_bumpass: untaken_name: astoreth: Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip.

Ok, so how do I ever find out that she has all of my interests and is a blast to hang out with, again?


By treating her like a human being instead of a potential lay.


If I wanted to interact with a human being, I'd talk to a man.
 
2013-02-06 04:56:05 AM  

Eatin' Queer Fetuses for Jesus: tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.

1. Your body was turned toward me every time you came to my table, not sideways looking over your shoulder. signal

2. You swept your hair out of your eyes with your hand while writing down my order. major signal

3. When you brought my sizzling fajitas, you said something about me being "extremely hot". alarm bells going off

4. At the end of the meal, after learning that I have a prestigious Visa Gold card, you brought me a pen and paper. not sure why you didn't call the number I wrote down, I have impeccable handwriting

5. I think the hostess might be jealous of our relationship, she obviously waited way too long to tell you I called. best to just bring her along with you on our date, 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and all...

/why haven't you called back?


Sorry it obviously wasn't me because of #2, in a restaurant you learn not to touch your hair, you don't want to accidentally get hair in the customers food.
Sorry your true lady love hasn't call you back : )
 
2013-02-06 04:59:43 AM  
SAT time:

Jezebel is to Gender Relations as:
a) Townhall is to Politics
b) Clowns are to Comedy
c) Fark is to News
d) Goatse is to Erotica
e) All of the Above

/Hint: The Answer is 'e'
 
2013-02-06 05:10:39 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: Legalized prostitution would solve stupid matters like this.


Yeah, this. Removing market distortions by getting rid of artificial scarcity of poontang would probably be a major corrective force on biatchiness and twatitude.

/Did I type that out loud?
//Sorry, I'm really not like that
///The Jezebel stupidity brings it out in me
 
2013-02-06 05:20:33 AM  
I appreciate the article subby. It's time I changed, evolved, became more than what I am. I shall no longer be just a wierdo, but armed with this information, I will now become a wierdo creeper!

And then back into the pokeball I go.
 
2013-02-06 06:04:44 AM  

HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive


This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.
 
2013-02-06 06:17:41 AM  

gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.


This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.
 
2013-02-06 06:18:25 AM  
My biggest problem right now with women is just finding someone that I like. Once you get past any self esteem or validation issues women represent to you then you quickly realize most women that reject you are no better suited for you than you are for them.

The problem with most guys failing with women is they try and hit on girls they have nothing in common with. If you're a nerdy guy with nerdy interests then chances are that girl decked out in designer clothing wants nothing to do with you and even if you convince her to date you she'd annoy the fark out of you.
 
2013-02-06 06:20:31 AM  

gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.


Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.
 
2013-02-06 06:21:37 AM  

miss diminutive: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.


Not this. See above.
 
2013-02-06 06:28:25 AM  

miss diminutive: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

This. Being attractive may help with initial attraction from across the room, but once you open your mouth and start with the creepaderp, no amount of good looks will stop them from running for the hills.


The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that one finds a person unattractive you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell'. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued, by anyone, article included point that once you get to know some one, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.
 
2013-02-06 06:32:19 AM  
Let me re-write that in something approaching English:

The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that if one finds a person unattractive then you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell', you will auto-reject them as creepy. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued point, which is not made byanyone including the article, that once you get to know someone, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.

/Farking jezebel, makes me talk no good mad so much at stupid
 
2013-02-06 06:33:04 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.


Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.
 
2013-02-06 06:34:27 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.


Do you not realize that a guy's first words are the same ones that can make him unattractive even when from across the room or whatever he was attractive as with the unattractive guys first words might make him more attractive? Words have power, I mean because of yours your now tagged, no I want give you the thrill of knowing what but that's the way the world works.
 
2013-02-06 06:34:30 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.


Ugh, retail. I once had an older gentleman come up to my cash register at a big box office supply store, look me straight in the eye, and tell me he was going to have my children one day. He had a nasty habit of doing that to all of the young female workers at that store, and basically had to be escorted out by management whenever he came in.

The creepiest pickup lines I've had thrown my way:
1) "You are too pretty to be lesbian!" by some random creep at a club, accompanied by a squeeze to my butt and boobs. I had been dancing with a gay male friend of mine to fend off guys at another friend's birthday party, had turned down the creep, and then he had his friend grab me and pull me away from my friend because "no" was not a strong enough indicator that I wasn't interested.
2) "Well, I'd like to donate an organ to YOU sometime" by an objectively attractive and still very creepy cashier at a party store after seeing I was an organ donor on my license.
3) "Take a look at your future, my sweet love" by some dude on the street in Brooklyn, who grabbed me on the butt in broad daylight on a busy street, while I had my arms linked with my sister, and leaned into my ear to whisper this.

/css
//being gay I have met my fair share of creeper ladies as well, but they are vastly outnumbered by the creeper guys
///had much less of a problem with this in college when I ran with a pack of metalhead dudes, if any creeps came near they suddenly found themselves faced with 6 guys with several hunting knives apiece and quickly decided it was in their best interest to fark off
 
2013-02-06 06:35:06 AM  
You can be creepy for being unattractive, you can be creepy for your behaviour, you can be creepy because the other person just isn't feeling it. Either way its not going to happen with that person so move the heck on with your life, plenty of people to meet out there.

Woman or man, doesn't matter, the ability to be creepy transcends genders. Doesn't make the man an asshole, doesn't make the woman a biatch, doesn't really matter in the long run or deserve much thought. I you're comfortable with who you are just move on.
 
2013-02-06 06:35:53 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: Let me re-write that in something approaching English:

The thrust of the article, is about INITIAL IMPRESSIONS that project a sense of 'creepiness'. The criticism of the article is that if one finds a person unattractive then you are never going to find out if they are 'creepy' or 'swell', you will auto-reject them as creepy. Your lazy comments communicate the obvious and unargued point, which is not made byanyone including the article, that once you get to know someone, attractive or not, you may or may not find them creepy.

/Farking jezebel, makes me talk no good mad so much at stupid


How initial are we talking? I'm talking about the first words that come out of the guys mouth.  And yes, people ARE making that argument in this thread that the only thing that makes someone a creeper is being unattractive.  It has been actually said on occasion in this very thread that "good looking guys can get away with anything." So, did you just not read this thread?
 
2013-02-06 06:36:29 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.


I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.
 
2013-02-06 06:36:51 AM  

ciberido: Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.

Allow John Waters to explain the difference.


Thanks for that. One of my first thoughts too but I was too lazy to look it up.
 
2013-02-06 06:40:06 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.

I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.


Yes, people have been arguing that. It's been said in this very thread and if that were the criticism, it was ineloquently stated at best. Or are you proposing we only can talk strictly in terms of the article now and not comment on what's said in the thread? Since when?
 
2013-02-06 06:42:50 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive

This is really lazy logic. Sure, for some people their looks are going to make them more likely to be labeled a creeper. It may be shocking, though, that your behavior too, no matter how you look, can also make you a creeper. I've been hit on by many guys who on first glance I was attracted to but in the end had me back pedaling so quick and looking for a way out.

Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Do you not realize that a guy's first words are the same ones that can make him unattractive even when from across the room or whatever he was attractive as with the unattractive guys first words might make him more attractive? Words have power, I mean because of yours your now tagged, no I want give you the thrill of knowing what but that's the way the world works.


Tag me, block me, break my little on-line heart.  gulogulo's post stated "in the end", sure, maybe she/he/it meant after the first sentence, but "in the end" implies to me a more substantial getting-to-know-you period. And that's the point. You don't even get that far if any approach is deemed 'creepy by virtue of unattractiveness'.
 
2013-02-06 06:49:02 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: Talk about lazy logic. Are you really that dense you don't even know that the meaning of the words you are writing down are diametrically opposed to very point you are trying to make?? REALLY??

"In the end" means, you engaged these 'creeps' in some way, you talked to them, got to know them well enough to make at least a partially informed decision. The ONLY reason you got to that point is b/c you found them ATTRACTIVE. If they were UNATTRACTIVE you would have no idea if they were 'creepy' or not.

Please read a little closer next time: that isn't what I was arguing.  I realize nuances might be lost on someone who sees only dichotomous situations. I explicitly countering the notion that the ONLY THING that makes a person a creeper is them being unattractive. I already acknowledged that attractiveness can factor into things for some people.

I'll read closer if you will. I know what you were saying. It's just that nobody is arguing that. Obviously once you get to know someone you can judge if they are creepy.  The criticism of the article is that if you find someone unattractive you're more likely to impute creepiness to actions you would not mpute to an 'attractive' person. Your point is valid, just, er, pointless in terms of this article.

Yes, people have been arguing that. It's been said in this very thread and if that were the criticism, it was ineloquently stated at best. Or are you proposing we only can talk strictly in terms of the article now and not comment on what's said in the thread? Since when?


K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.
 
2013-02-06 06:50:44 AM  
As a woman, here's my problem with any advice articles like this and PUA. It's so painfully obvious, and shouldn't need to be said, that women and men are individuals and what is sound advice for one, does not work for another.

I'm a nerdy girl. I 'm pretty extroverted and have been told I'm not a complete uggo.  I don't ever want to sleep with any guy I've met on the first date. I'm not a prude, I have no personal problem with anyone who wants to fark on the first date, it's just my sexual attraction doesn't really kick in until they start stimulating my mind and that can take a couple of dates.  So I'm not going to know right away how much I like you, but I'm also not looking for a one night stand.  It might not work out, and it also might.  I also have a finely tuned PUA bullshiat meter.  So people like the PUA above in this thread would pretty much be instantly rejected. I'm not bashing him, though, he obviously wants a certain kind of relationship for which I'm not suited. If you aren't looking for long term, then that probably works great.

Incidentally, I haven't read 50 Shades of Gray and to equate porn (which is all it is) as being indicative of reality of all women's tastes in men is ludicrous.  Any more than I can assume what's on Red Tube is indicative of what all men want in women. There just isn't as much variety in porn specifically aimed at women, and it's arguably more difficult to construct as it has to usually be of written word, so it makes a bigger splash when it hits the public.
 
2013-02-06 06:53:40 AM  

Serious Post on Serious Thread: K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.


Well daggum it, I didn't know I was going to need to quote it until now! I'm not going back through all the comments to find it! And I'm posting on Fark, I reserve to right to be lazy. I would like to mention that I refrained on commenting about it until it was like the 5th or 6th guy coming in to ONLY say it has to do with attractiveness.  But, no one sees the comments I refrained to make, so that's kind of neither here nor there.
 
2013-02-06 06:55:48 AM  
Call me old fashioned but... How about a polite introduction, ask them their name while holding the gaze and the hand slightly longer than usual, but not so long as to be creepy. Engage in a conversation about interests (besides work or boyfriends, etc.). Invite the person on your yacht over the weekend. It also helps if there's another couple or two there with you to vouch that they will be on the boat as well. It doesn't always work for me, but I find it's a decent non-creepy approach. Having a yacht helps.
 
2013-02-06 06:57:40 AM  

Tommy Moo: Explain the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon then. I stand behind my assessment. Anyway, life is constantly proving me right. Think what you will.


I'd wager that most women entertained and titilated by reading 50 Shades of Grey aren't actually looking to become some controlling jerks' love slaves any more than most guys watching video porn are actually contemplating becoming pizza deliverymen. There's a giant farking difference between enjoying a porn fantasy and wanting that as a reality.
 
2013-02-06 06:58:09 AM  

breadprincess: tinfoil-hat maggie: Genevieve Marie: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

I used to bartend. Same thing.

This and this. waited tables and worked retail it's is amazing the things some people do and say in those situations, not to mention the calls after they left while you're still working and you have no clue who they are cause you've just had 500 people go through you're restaurant.

Ugh, retail. I once had an older gentleman come up to my cash register at a big box office supply store, look me straight in the eye, and tell me he was going to have my children one day. He had a nasty habit of doing that to all of the young female workers at that store, and basically had to be escorted out by management whenever he came in.

The creepiest pickup lines I've had thrown my way:
1) "You are too pretty to be lesbian!" by some random creep at a club, accompanied by a squeeze to my butt and boobs. I had been dancing with a gay male friend of mine to fend off guys at another friend's birthday party, had turned down the creep, and then he had his friend grab me and pull me away from my friend because "no" was not a strong enough indicator that I wasn't interested.
2) "Well, I'd like to donate an organ to YOU sometime" by an objectively attractive and still very creepy cashier at a party store after seeing I was an organ donor on my license.
3) "Take a look at your future, my sweet love" by some dude on the street in Brooklyn, who grabbed me on the butt in broad daylight on a busy street, while I had my arms linked with my sister, and leaned into my ear to whisper this.

/css
//being gay I have met my fair share of creeper ladies as well, but they are vastly outnumbered by the creeper guys
///had much less of a problem with this in college when I ran with a pack of metalhead dudes, if any creeps ...


Defiantly CSS reminds me of my own upbringing first girl I lived with was when I was 18 had a lot of cousins that were metalheads/gearheads and such and stopped a lot of problems before they started in that small southern town, granted I was a bit worried when we broke up but it ended well enough.

And you're right men and women can say uncouth/inappropriate things or act inappropriately but the real thing is when I guy does it you're not sure if there is the potential for violence. I mean I never left the restaurant alone late at night.
 
2013-02-06 07:00:37 AM  

Dogsbody: Call me old fashioned but... How about a polite introduction, ask them their name while holding the gaze and the hand slightly longer than usual, but not so long as to be creepy. Engage in a conversation about interests (besides work or boyfriends, etc.). Invite the person on your yacht over the weekend. It also helps if there's another couple or two there with you to vouch that they will be on the boat as well. It doesn't always work for me, but I find it's a decent non-creepy approach. Having a yacht helps.


No actually that's kinda creepy and I've heard how that boat story ends : )
 
2013-02-06 07:00:39 AM  

Yogimus: Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"


You're that chicken mittens guy, aren't you?
 
2013-02-06 07:01:54 AM  
I second the "don't be overtly flirtatious in a situation where they are a captive audience."  That goes for men AND women. I had a shuttle driver do that to me, in front of the other passengers. It went from me trying to be courteous since I was sitting in the front and striking up conversation to inappropriate offers of him to take me directly to my house (a service the shuttle doesn't offer).  It was a 2 hour drive and I was enormously unnerved by his aggressiveness.
 
2013-02-06 07:03:55 AM  

gulogulo: Serious Post on Serious Thread: K, k. You're technically right, which is the best kind of right I'm told. But you didn't quote anything more than a generic response about attractiveness. If you're making deep comment analysis in a several hundred comment thread, the convo may be better served by actually quoting whomever you are responding to if not the article.

Well daggum it, I didn't know I was going to need to quote it until now! I'm not going back through all the comments to find it! And I'm posting on Fark, I reserve to right to be lazy. I would like to mention that I refrained on commenting about it until it was like the 5th or 6th guy coming in to ONLY say it has to do with attractiveness.  But, no one sees the comments I refrained to make, so that's kind of neither here nor there.


You should take up Fark Zen Buddism.  Then you'd only see the comments people refrained from making. It's a better read.
 
2013-02-06 07:06:53 AM  
Was on the subway last week at witnessed a poor girl get hit on. She definitely looked like she didn't want to be bothered: headphones on, bag on her lap, sleepy-eyed. This guy and his friend get on and sit next to her. The guy asks her something (I didn't hear, I had my headphones on as well), she shakes her head and says "I'm good." He then pulls out an open bag of candy from his pocket and offers it to her. Again, she shakes her head and says "I'm good." His friend was laughing to himself.

Really offering candy to a stranger? That's your pick-up?
 
2013-02-06 07:10:12 AM  

gulogulo: As a woman, here's my problem with any advice articles like this and PUA. It's so painfully obvious, and shouldn't need to be said, that women and men are individuals and what is sound advice for one, does not work for another.

I'm a nerdy girl. I 'm pretty extroverted and have been told I'm not a complete uggo.  I don't ever want to sleep with any guy I've met on the first date. I'm not a prude, I have no personal problem with anyone who wants to fark on the first date, it's just my sexual attraction doesn't really kick in until they start stimulating my mind and that can take a couple of dates.  So I'm not going to know right away how much I like you, but I'm also not looking for a one night stand.  It might not work out, and it also might.  I also have a finely tuned PUA bullshiat meter.  So people like the PUA above in this thread would pretty much be instantly rejected. I'm not bashing him, though, he obviously wants a certain kind of relationship for which I'm not suited. If you aren't looking for long term, then that probably works great.

Incidentally, I haven't read 50 Shades of Gray and to equate porn (which is all it is) as being indicative of reality of all women's tastes in men is ludicrous.  Any more than I can assume what's on Red Tube is indicative of what all men want in women. There just isn't as much variety in porn specifically aimed at women, and it's arguably more difficult to construct as it has to usually be of written word, so it makes a bigger splash when it hits the public.


You are the reason the pickup artist community exists...and thrives.  Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe.  It's not about cheesy pickup lines, rude insults and trying to score on the first date.  A pickup artist is someone who uses his resources to make himself the most attractive he can be.  That you assume to know what kind of relationship pickup artists want proves you don't know anything about them.

Ironically, feminists hate PUAs and "creepers" yet the fundamentals of pickup artistry teach men how precisely not to be creepy and know when a girl isn't interested and move on.  Those who master the game don't resort to sexual harassment because they know the right way to pickup women - hence the name PUA.
 
2013-02-06 07:14:08 AM  

freeforever: You are the reason the pickup artist community exists...and thrives. Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe. It's not about cheesy pickup lines, rude insults and trying to score on the first date. A pickup artist is someone who uses his resources to make himself the most attractive he can be. That you assume to know what kind of relationship pickup artists want proves you don't know anything about them.


I guess my only experience with it is the stupid tv show that highlighted it. I guess I assumed that being a Pick Up Artist means you actually repeatedly use your craft, even after you have established a relationship with one person.  So the very nature of how the "craft" is talked about makes it look like someone who is looking for serial relationships than establishing a serious relationship long term with one person.
 
2013-02-06 07:16:25 AM  

freeforever: Being a pickup artist is ALL ABOUT "stimulating the mind," regardless of what feminists would have you believe.


Just to clarify, stimulating my mind actually means you have to be pretty damn smart. If you're a charming lug, you're still a lug and I will get annoyed and bored.  That's not something learning the arts of body language can teach you.
 
2013-02-06 07:17:14 AM  
Is it creepy to buy a complete stranger a Rainbow Brite costume?

just wondering

/although someone one uped me with a farking horse...
 
2013-02-06 07:24:11 AM  

GregoryD: Is it creepy to buy a complete stranger a Rainbow Brite costume?

just wondering

/although someone one uped me with a farking horse...


Not if it's on their wishlist but otherwise it might be.

/Wait explain more about this farking horse, that's not creepy?
: )
 
2013-02-06 07:26:06 AM  
i couldn't bring myself to read the article (jezebel, really?) but from skimming the comments, you guys sound like you're putting a lot of effort into this shiat.

have many friends of the opposite sex. they seem more concerned with my sex life than i am, and for some reason it all works out. i guess that's a pile of women i'm friendzoned with, or whatever the kids are calling non-nookie-relationships currently, but those non-nookie-relationships seem intent on ensuring i'm either the rebound boink for a friend of theirs, or the 'nice guy' they set up with people they work with.

at some point, i'll be honest and call it charity, but as long as i'm happy with the situation, i'm content to call it a benevolent reaction to apathy.
 
2013-02-06 07:27:06 AM  
Step 1: Be attractive

There is no Step 2
 
2013-02-06 07:37:08 AM  

Tommy Moo: Some of them are like that, but it's honestly a diverse crowd with different goals and strategies. You'll find a few clowns who are just trying to burn through as many women as they can to impress their guy friends, but you'll also find a lot of genuine guy

s...

Tommy Moo: I've dated dozens of the most beautiful women in my city. I'm clearly doing something right, brother.


Yup, sounds about right.
 
2013-02-06 07:40:40 AM  
media-mcw.cursecdn.com

Fark Creepers.

One of these bastards was in my house one day. Door was closed and everything. I had a long hard day of building, the mobs where coming, so I went to my house to sleep. I open the door, make a left, and staring me in the face is a Goddamn creeper.

'what the f-'
*HSSSSSSSSSS*
*oh fuc-*
*Boom*
 
2013-02-06 07:40:48 AM  
I love these threads so f*cking much
 
2013-02-06 07:44:30 AM  

Coelacanth Filet: PUA is social nihilism, sure, but it works. Hate the game, not the player, etc.


No, if they think that game is a good idea, I'm in the clear for hating the player.

But yeah, friend-zoning and the "women don't like 'nice guys'" stuff is still bullshiat.  If a woman tells you she likes you as a friend you have two scenarios:
1) She doesn't really like you, but is a nervous about how you will react if she actually flat out says "No, I'm not interested." Possibly because you're behaving like someone who's going to take great offense at the idea she wouldn't want to date you.
2) She actually thinks you're a fun person to hang out with.  This should not be the end of the farking world; friends are awesome.  Friendship isn't a consolation prize. If you don't want that, then back the fark off.  Be her friend or DON'T; don't skulk around behind her like some demented remora looking for any fragment of attention.

If she doesn't see you as a romantic option and just sees you as a friend (which she is allowed to farking do); that's when it's time to take a second to reevaluate why you're friends with the girl.  And if you think you really are okay with being her friend? Respect the other party's decision, act like a decent farking human being, and don't think she OWES you something because you're nice to her.  And if you can't do that?  You're not a "nice guy"; you're the same kind of douchebag you're railing against, you just hide it better.


And additional food for thought: If you start to wonder why all the girls you like only like jerks, it's possible you need to reevaluate what kind of women you are interested in.  Because, I'm not gonna lie, some women have appallingly shiatty taste in relationships, and some men have equally appalling taste.  It happens.

And as far as the idea that women are being shallow and that being creepy is just "hitting on someone while being unattractive", don't think for a farking SECOND that men can't be guilty of the same farking thing. If Salma Hayek sat right nex to you on the bus (when there are plenty of free seats) and pulled your headphone out to ask "what are you listening to?" You'd probably react a lot differently than if a 300 lb woman with greasy hair did.
 
2013-02-06 07:44:55 AM  
CSB time:

I was once treated as if I was being a creeper at a bar. The ESPN show Sport Science was on, and they were talking about some physics concepts as it applied to gymnastics. There was a group of 3 sitting next to me, a guy and then two women. The woman 2 seats from me said that this would be a great thing to show in the classroom. At the time, I was working as a physics tutor and had just completed my physics degree. I overheard her conversation, turned and asked her if she was a science teacher. She responded no, she teaches English, so I apologized for overhearing, and explained that I was a physics tutor and that I agreed with her. Her guy friend started talking to me about some pop sci physics concept, which I was happy to do, but when our little side discussion finished, the two women had slid a few seats down, around the corner of the bar table.

Maybe they thought I was being creepy or hitting on them. In reality, I just wanted to talk about science, which was what she just commented on on the television. I didn't think I was that out of line talking to somebody at a bar. I thought that's what people did at bars. I wasn't hitting on her at the least.

Oh well.
 
2013-02-06 07:46:42 AM  
I do love the way that threads like this devolve into 2 camps:
Those to whom this is all obvious,
Those whose posts could be paraphrased as "I'm a creepy guy, but I still believe it is all the fault of every single woman I have ever met"
 
2013-02-06 07:48:38 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Step 1: Be attractive

There is no Step 2


Step 2: Have a lot of money. There are some women who do not think everything is about attractiveness.
 
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