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(Jezebel)   The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"   (jezebel.com) divider line 635
    More: Interesting, sex predator, p.f. chang, Amy Pond  
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10609 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 02:02:29 AM  

browntimmy: Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.


This. And while our feminist may disagree out of personal experience, I've got ten years of restaurant time sharing with waitresses to back that up. Office, restaurant, captive target, whatever; women respond well to physically attractive, and poorly to ugly. Denying that is lying.

I'm not judging, but the ladies need to be more honest about it.
 
2013-02-06 02:02:51 AM  

Wayne 985: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.


Too late, he's married now.

"Marriage is  the death of hope."  I think someone said it before Woody Allen.
 
2013-02-06 02:03:13 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques


What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.
 
2013-02-06 02:03:21 AM  

astoreth: Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together. That's not the end of the world. At some point, you will find someone that DOES think it would be fun to get naked with you.

Yep. Imagine a gal who has all of your interests and is a blast to hang out with, but you have no attraction to her. Zero. Zip. But she's into you! Do you owe it to her to date her? Even though the thought of kissing her makes you kind of queasy? She's put so much time into the friendship!


The thing is though, assuming she's an average looking person (like many  friendzoned guys), if we're hanging out together all the time there's a very very good chance that one or more of those times a guy will be thinking, "I'd really like to be having sex...you'll do." Our standards on what's attractive fluctuates depending on the scenario.
 
2013-02-06 02:04:05 AM  
FTFA:  I once had a man on the Q train refuse to break eye contact with me as he ate an entire rotisserie chicken with his mittens on.


I laughed way too hard at this.
 
2013-02-06 02:04:30 AM  

rynthetyn: Bathysphere: As someone who works retail, I am getting a kick out of this thread. We are like sitting ducks for creeper men, especially since we are forced to act as friendly as possible and weirdos misinterperet that.

Oh yeah, I'd get middle aged men flirting with me. It was especially creepy because I looked like I was in high school until several years after I was out of college.


I have a super high voice and it only gets higher the more nervous I am. Seriously, creditors have declined to talk with me because. I, "sound like a child". Weird stuff.
Also it's nice that other people put up with thus shiate.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:44 AM  
Men, if you never listen to anything I say ever again, hear this: these feminist articles about the rules of approaching women are made strictly to inhibit men with low sexual market value, because they're the only ones who would even consider taking this advice to heart. The most confident (and therefore desirable) men don't play by the rules.

Don't believe me? Read the erotic fan fiction that women write and see for yourself what turns them on. Sure, they don't want YOU taking their headphones off on the subway, but if George Clooney did that it would result in a vaginal flood of Biblical proportions.
 
2013-02-06 02:06:57 AM  

grinding_journalist: I have discovered that my wedding ring is a turn on for a small but acceptable cross-section of the hot/crazy axes.


I once had a moment of clarity with a guy in college that was married; we were at a bar and he pointed to me all the women at the bar that were/would be interested in him. He then said were he to take his ring off he would be just as stupid as me. I took home the lesson that when you disassociate you can see the picture better. It didn't help.

/getting married on Memorial Day
 
2013-02-06 02:07:46 AM  
I'm not bad looking, I'm just crushingly awkward and shy. Makes meeting girls very hard. And I have a very hard time telling when a girl is craving my wave.

/Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"
 
2013-02-06 02:09:09 AM  
Genevieve Marie: (post too long to quote)

So you told him "no" once, ONCE, and you were already creeped out.  He checked one more time after the rejection, you told him no again and he threw a childish tantrum but then left you alone.  Yes?

Until the childish tantrum, everything he did was "Chasing Amy"-style romantic that I see in a hojillion chick-flick romance storiesThe only difference is he didn't psychically read the future and/or your mind and tell that "I'm busy" meant "fark off you're unattractive" instead of "I'm playing hard-to-get or actually farking busy, maybe later."

After the childish tantrum?  Well clearly he's a childish asshole, congratulations on dodging that bullet; but you can't claim you knew that anymore than he could have known, until you gave a straight answer, that you weren't interested and never would be.  He was, up until then, just trying, like men are constantly, endlessly told (By women!) they are supposed to in order to be "proper" and desirable men.
 
2013-02-06 02:10:41 AM  

Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together.


The "friend zone" is for men a woman doesn't want to fark but who have other skills she thinks might come in handy someday.
 
2013-02-06 02:11:02 AM  

TheBigJerk: So you told him "no" once, ONCE, and you were already creeped out. He checked one more time after the rejection, you told him no again and he threw a childish tantrum but then left you alone. Yes?


No, I told him no twice before I was creeped out. And bear in mind, he didn't ask me for my number- he got it through asking other people for it and he called me out of the blue. And this was someone I hadn't paid any more than polite hostess attention to in the first place.
 
2013-02-06 02:12:17 AM  

Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"


Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?
 
2013-02-06 02:13:11 AM  
Actually... the best advice that never sinks in for most guys is to stop taking advice from women.  Everyone knows advice from women about how to attract women sucks.  This "Don't be aggressive, pick apart the subtle nuances in her body language" advice is a load of garbage.  This kind of advice is just a sh**t test: you fail by paying any mind to it.  The real way to pick up women is to have confidence, and to be persistent -  When one chick turns you down, just let it roll off your back and move on to the next one.  A man carrying himself with the attitude that his normal healthy desire to interact with a person in his vicinity is something scary and gross, worrying about whether women think he is a "creeper" - that is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what heterosexual women generally find attractive.

So then the question becomes... how does a man find the confidence to behave in this way?  Well, that depends on individual circumstances, there's no quick fix, it might be a long journey.  Seeing a therapist would probably be a good first step.
 
2013-02-06 02:14:18 AM  

Tommy Moo: Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?


Let's shorten that to: Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Sound better?  Maybe even make it a rule, or commandment.
 
2013-02-06 02:14:33 AM  
 
2013-02-06 02:17:31 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org

What he lacks in fashion sense he makes up for with his great sense of humor.
 
2013-02-06 02:17:37 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


Came for the defensive men trying to blame it all on women.

Fark, you never fail to come through.
 
2013-02-06 02:18:28 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: Genevieve Marie: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together.

The "friend zone" is for men a woman doesn't want to fark but who have other skills she thinks might come in handy someday.


And men who complain about being friend-zoned often have no interest in an actual friendship and just want to sleep with the woman.
 
2013-02-06 02:19:10 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: HotWingAgenda: That article can be boiled down to:

1.  Be handsome
2.  Be attractive
3.  Don't be unattractive


It also ignores that fact that women can be creepy too.  (Hello driving cross country in a diaper to assault your ex's new girlfriend).

I have had friends wives hold my hand a bit too long while telling me how glad they are that I came over and stop by any time I want, even during the day when Bob's at work....and on and on while not letting go of my hands and looking into my eyes for extended conversations.  While I politely try pulling my hands away and putting them in my pockets, and mumble replies like "Um, okay, thanks."  Sorry, but your huband is my old college buddy.  Give me my hand back, and give me 2 inches of breathing room between our faces...


LOL.  I once had a married female colleague walk up to me, look me square in the eye, and say in a very suggestive voice that she was about to "take advantage" of me.  It turned out she just needed me to give her a buzz if her husband showed up early for their lunch date... but the female coworker who was sitting directly next to me thought I was gonna get raped.
 
2013-02-06 02:21:06 AM  

feffer: Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques

I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


imgs.xkcd.com
There's an xkcd for everything.  It's like rule 34, only with less nudity.

/Though then again, maybe EVERYBODY in xkcd is nude.
 
2013-02-06 02:21:48 AM  

Dion Fortune: Actually... the best advice that never sinks in for most guys is to stop taking advice from women.  Everyone knows advice from women about how to attract women sucks.  This "Don't be aggressive, pick apart the subtle nuances in her body language" advice is a load of garbage.  This kind of advice is just a sh**t test: you fail by paying any mind to it.  The real way to pick up women is to have confidence, and to be persistent -  When one chick turns you down, just let it roll off your back and move on to the next one.  A man carrying himself with the attitude that his normal healthy desire to interact with a person in his vicinity is something scary and gross, worrying about whether women think he is a "creeper" - that is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what heterosexual women generally find attractive.

So then the question becomes... how does a man find the confidence to behave in this way?  Well, that depends on individual circumstances, there's no quick fix, it might be a long journey.  Seeing a therapist would probably be a good first step.


Great post. The confidence only comes with success. Eventually you have nothing left to prove to yourself. In my 20s I wanted desperately to be approved of. Today, most women are nice enough people, but I've seen enough of them naked. I'm looking for a friend that's great in bed. So 9 out of 10 women I just genuinely don't want to fark. At least not at first. A few of them surprise me as I get to know them. But it's funny... When you don't want to fark a woman, it increases the likelihood that she will have attraction for you. It's like this itch at first, when you aren't getting any, but then it snowballs from there.
 
2013-02-06 02:22:26 AM  
"Lets not turn this rape into a murder"
 
2013-02-06 02:22:56 AM  

Tommy Moo: browntimmy: Guy they like being bold = sexy.
Guy they don't like being bold = creepy weirdo.
But no guy knows which one he is until after making the first move. (granted some guys are just plain creepy weirdos, but even then there's someone out there for almost everyone)

When you look at the fact that most guys won't be offended or creeped out by women flirting with them (unless they're just uncommonly disgusting), it would make the most sense and make everything easier for women to initiate things. But we all know that won't ever happen and the world making sense is way too much to ask.

Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?

You get adept at it with experience. Since you haven't hit on her yet, you haven't risked anything. You can back away without being called a creeper.

Hey, Farkers, did you think this was good advice? If so, you just agreed with one of the "douchebag pickup artists" you all love to hate. See? It isn't all evil mind hacking. The vast majority of it is all about making her feel comfortable with the stance that she will be more attracted to you if you aren't desperately trying to invade her space with your own pathetic needs. There's way too much emphasis on "negging." The community mo ...


It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.
 
2013-02-06 02:23:27 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"

Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?


Yeah, my experience was exactly like that too.

Except for the whole girls apparently suddenly swooning all over me after high school.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:44 AM  

bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.


For what it's worth, I think those articles in women's magazines are pretty creepy and weird and gross too.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:59 AM  

Tavernknight: Seth'n'Spectrum: fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.

Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques

What worked for me was to go to the bar alone with a book. Sit at the bar and order a drink. Then completely ignore everything going on around you and read the book. They will come to you and ask about the book. Great ice breaker.


I used to do that all the time when I was living with my mom and wanted to get out of the house. No one ever approached me. Never sat at the bar, though.
 
2013-02-06 02:25:20 AM  

Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.


Allow John Waters to explain the difference.
 
2013-02-06 02:26:32 AM  
CSB:

Knew a girl for a year. She'd often send me pictures of herself naked. Yet, everytime I'd ask her to spend the night, she called me a creeper.

The hell?
 
2013-02-06 02:27:56 AM  
 
2013-02-06 02:29:39 AM  

GranoblasticMan: ThrobblefootSpectre: Comsamvimes: /Still remember the last day of high school when a classmate said "Yeah, like half the girls in school had a crush on you."
//Responded with "Wait, whaaaaaa? They did? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE WHEN I COULD HAVE USED THAT INFORMATION?!"

Heh.  Had the same experience after high school.  Girls that I wouldn't have dreamed of approaching, and I rarely ever talked to in 4 years, wrote me letters (this was the 80's before the internet) in college asking how I was doing at the new school, hope you are good, etc.  Wait....you mean you liked me?

Yeah, my experience was exactly like that too.

Except for the whole girls apparently suddenly swooning all over me after high school.


Yeah, didn't have the swooning thing either... I apparently have an "Oh god please don't talk to me" look on my face normally. Whereas I do want to be talked to, I just don't know how to initiate the conversations.
 
2013-02-06 02:29:52 AM  

ciberido: [imgs.xkcd.com image 540x931]
There's an xkcd for everything.  It's like rule 34, only with less nudity.

/Though then again, maybe EVERYBODY in xkcd is nude.


Xkcd completely whiffed on understanding the art of the neg in that strip. A neg isn't a blatant insult, that would be pickup suicide. It's a statement that can be interpreted several different ways - the intent is to keep the girl thinking "What did he mean by that?"

PUA is social nihilism, sure, but it works. Hate the game, not the player, etc.
 
2013-02-06 02:29:57 AM  

ciberido: Sim Tree: Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.

Allow John Waters to explain the difference.


damn... shouldn't have bothered to type out the lyrics
 
2013-02-06 02:31:29 AM  

Genevieve Marie: bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.

For what it's worth, I think those articles in women's magazines are pretty creepy and weird and gross too.


These are the same magazines that say it's sexy to be a jealously psycho quim, and men get off on you giving their cocks friction burns.  The magazines themselves are creepy and worthless.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:25 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: The magazines themselves are creepy and worthless.


You'll get no argument here.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:25 AM  

bingethinker: It's also hilarious that women complain about men trying to learn better techniques to meet women, when women's magazines are full of articles that are not only about how to get men, but how to coldly manipulate them to get what you want.


There's nothing wrong with both genders seeking out guidance for how best to attain their goals in their social and love lives. This whole thing works better when you don't view love as a war between the sexes. Yeah, in the back of my mind, I acknowledge that there are conflicting mass interests, in that women want other women to get fat so the best men get stuck with them, and the top 1% of men want to crush and steal from all other men, which hurts most women. But I try to keep that functional knowledge buried beneath a practical spirit of cooperation.

Or at least I used to. It's been a shiatty year for me, so I haven't really been focused on dating lately. I need to get back into my positive groove I had going.
 
2013-02-06 02:32:43 AM  

Fano: /getting married on Memorial Day


Congrats to you, and yes, everything they say about the sex disappearing is true. Anyone saying otherwise is lying to themselves along with you.

As an aside, I've asked a few of the more overt ones what they see in me knowing I'm married- one said that she knew I'd never tell, so she could get away with it too, another said "you aren't broke and know how to fark", but my favorite had to be the following exchange:

"How long you been married?"
"Couple of years."
"And you've been together for...?"
"Almost 10."
"And you've never strayed?"
"Not once."
"So, I can count on getting farked by a guy who hasn't gotten any for a decade? We'd be up all night."

/that last one was the hardest to turn away
//siiigh
///I keed; the wife takes care of me well
////siiiiiiiiiiiiigh
 
2013-02-06 02:32:58 AM  
Just do what I do --

Be an introverted depressive social retard one step away from agoraphobia.
If you don't go anywhere or do anything, you can't creep out women.
 
2013-02-06 02:33:23 AM  
Let's be honest here... women are some creepy farks.
 
2013-02-06 02:34:30 AM  

bingethinker: I like how the writer keeps going on about "respect" while talking to men in a disrespectful way. The good old double standard.


Hey, stop making sense.
 
2013-02-06 02:34:40 AM  

AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".


Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.  Focus on the human interactions, and the farking will come (so to speak).  I have many more female friends as male ones, I have one that farks me in a legally-recognized union, and while I made several of those friendships hoping for non-legally-recognized-union-farking (all before the LRUF), I really don't care about that anymore when dealing with them (though this does not mean I do not leer ^_^ ).

Oh, and God's sake realize that asking her about her interests is the price you pay for telling her about your Grey Knight Terminators.  Oh, and if she talks about Grey Knight Terminators, too, find another set of topics to discuss, because if you obsess over a common geekoid interest, somebody is going to end up in a woodchipper, and it is 50/50 that it will be you.
 
2013-02-06 02:35:54 AM  

phalamir: AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".

Well there's your problem.  Quit acting like it is a competition or unlocking an achievement,  If you are talking to women just to get your rocks off, it will be nothing but frustration.  Approach interactions with women as trying to form friendships just like you would with men.  There is nothing stopping you from wanting to fark them, but you just need to accept that most are not going to fark you.  And don't treat the friendships as dependent on the farking.  You will increase your friends, get a much better sense of what women want, and eventually one or more will fark you.  Focus on the human interactions, and the farking will come (so to speak).  I have many more female friends as male ones, I have one that farks me in a legally-recognized union, and while I made several of those friendships hoping for non-legally-recognized-union-farking (all before the LRUF), I really don't care about that anymore when dealing with them (though this does not mean I do not leer ^_^ ).

Oh, and God's sake realize that asking her about her interests is the price you pay for telling her about your Grey Knight Terminators.  Oh, and if she talks about Grey Knight Terminators, too, find another set of topics to discuss, because if you obsess over a common geekoid interest, somebody is going to end up in a woodchipper, and it is 50/50 that it will be you.


Quit pretending that it means more than unlocking an achievement.
 
2013-02-06 02:37:19 AM  

Duck_of_Doom: Tommy Moo: Ok, here's a tip: Initiate the conversation, but don't initiate the "move" until she is giving you signals of attraction. Just talk neutrally about the environment or something she's holding or whatever. Then start talking about her and yourself. Find an excuse to bring up a few interesting things about yourself that convey that you have friends, interesting hobbies, ex-girlfriends (TRUST ME ON THIS! It's like an automatic "Ok. He's safe. Another woman dated him." switch.) Then look for the following: Is she facing you with her entire body instead of over her shoulder? If you drop the conversation, does she restart it? Does she touch any part of her face or hair more than once while listening to you? Does she tip her head forward while listening? Does she smile when you say something that isn't funny?

Let's shorten that to: Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

Sound better?  Maybe even make it a rule, or commandment.


That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.
 
2013-02-06 02:41:55 AM  

browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.


Just grab her hand when you're sitting down sometime. Don't even talk about the fact that you're doing it. Do it in the middle of a happy story about something, briefly, then let it go. If she leaves her hand there, she likes you. If not, it really isn't that weird of a thing for a friend to do, as long as you just keep talking. On the off chance that she brings it up, just say something flippant like "I wanted to see if your hands were cold," and then change the subject.
 
2013-02-06 02:42:10 AM  

browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.


Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.
 
2013-02-06 02:44:14 AM  
All about reading the kinesics and the context.

Simply won't bother if there is no eye contact.  If walking along and eye contact  is made (and am momentarily smitten)?  I'll smile and say "you just made my day!  You're just so pretty that you've made me smile!  Have a great day, yourself, and keep up the good work!"  and I just keep walking.

Melville was/is right and I've always tried to leave others feeling less, rather than more, `weighted down'

"I have the satisfaction of knowing that it is all right; that everybody else is one way or other served in much the same way--either in a physical or metaphysical point of view, that is; and so the universal thump is passed round, and all hands should rub each other's shoulder-blades, and be content."

/never interested in any woman who isn't interested & interesting
 
2013-02-06 02:45:49 AM  
Throw jizz in her face and yell: "I CAN SMELL YOUR CUNNNT!"
 
2013-02-06 02:50:55 AM  
Linking to Jezebel will only produce more misogynists, even among women.
 
2013-02-06 02:51:41 AM  

feffer: 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


Irony? Or is it only negative when it's a guy doing it to a woman?
 
2013-02-06 02:52:37 AM  

miss diminutive: browntimmy: That is good advice. But on the flip side, how about making the mating signal something a little more overt than "playing with hair" or "facing him with her whole body". Recently there was a girl I really liked who was naturally a very friendly and outgoing person to everyone, so the mental games of "Was that playful shove flirting or friendly? etc." drove me nuts.

Chances are she knows it drives men nuts and loves that fact.


That's very possible. I tried to retaliate with the whole "Don't seem toooo interested, they like a challenge" thing, but I might have taken that too far. I have no idea if the effect was: 1. Nothing, since she didn't like me that way or 2. She came to the conclusion that I didn't like her that way.
This is all such farking nonsense when you step back and look at it.
 
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