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(Jezebel)   The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"   (jezebel.com) divider line 635
    More: Interesting, sex predator, p.f. chang, Amy Pond  
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10608 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2013 at 12:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-02-06 12:19:48 AM  
Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.
 
2013-02-06 12:22:57 AM  
"I have a well in my basement that you would look so good in" isn't a compliment that works very well, at least in my experience.
 
2013-02-06 12:35:25 AM  
The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.
 
2013-02-06 12:46:06 AM  
bie?

eip
 
2013-02-06 12:47:14 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques
 
2013-02-06 12:49:05 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-06 12:49:24 AM  
Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.
 
2013-02-06 12:50:16 AM  
It just burns me up when they tell me to keep my hands to myself.
 
2013-02-06 12:50:49 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


False.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:05 AM  

Genevieve Marie: The biggest common thread in every suggestion is that it generally makes people uncomfortable if you come on to them in a situation where they can't easily get away from you or are obligated to be nice.


Waitaminute, you mean those bartenders all think I'm creepy? Drats, time to hit on them outside when they get off of work.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:09 AM  
If you think about things as much as this article would have you, then no two people would ever get together on the planet, ever.

The point is not to "never take the chance of offending" it's to learn to give up when you get a negative sign. If guys did that, everyone would be better off, but there would still be a good number of success stories. If she says no, take it for that and move on. And then women would be more likely to just say no rather than maybe, which they might feel obligated because it's "nicer"

Follow all the guidelines here--even the first one mentioned "does she want to be talked to?" how the fark should I know? You could always answer that "well, maybe not, I'd better not say anything"--and women would never be asked out. Then they'd complain about that...oh wait they already do.
 
2013-02-06 12:51:22 AM  
When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."
 
2013-02-06 12:51:38 AM  
You make it sound like being a weirdo creeper is a bad thing...
 
2013-02-06 12:52:22 AM  
So are you saying "Does this rag smell like ether to you?" isn't a good pickup line?

/because I've gotten great responses with it
//well... maybe more like unresponsive, but still...
 
2013-02-06 12:52:31 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."


just be yourself.  you know, act natural
 
2013-02-06 12:52:56 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."


Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:15 AM  
The Dobler/Dahmer theory?
 
2013-02-06 12:53:35 AM  
I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:47 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.

/I have not tried this yet
//still working on the basic flirtation techniques


I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.
 
2013-02-06 12:53:55 AM  

BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.


Legitimate example of begging the question.

/yes? no? In before rhetoric nazis?
 
2013-02-06 12:54:13 AM  

Christian Bale: Follow all the guidelines here--even the first one mentioned "does she want to be talked to?" how the fark should I know? You could always answer that "well, maybe not, I'd better not say anything"--and women would never be asked out. Then they'd complain about that...oh wait they already do.


That was in relation to a woman you don't know at all who's just walking around going about her day. Not someone you've met through work or friends or at a party or at a bar. Just some stranger going about their day.
 
2013-02-06 12:54:48 AM  

Wayne 985: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

Not really. It works for me in everyday life.

Just man up and go, and realize it's no big deal.


You never know, this one just might be different.
 
2013-02-06 12:55:22 AM  

GardenWeasel: The Dobler/Dahmer theory?


That was one of the better terms coined by that show in awhile. I liked that one.
 
2013-02-06 12:56:25 AM  
I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income
 
2013-02-06 12:56:52 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


When guys compliment my shoes, I can never tell if I'm being hit on or if the guy's gay. It's not always easy to figure out. It took me a few weeks once before I figured out if this one acquaintance was an overly friendly metrosexual who'd spent too much time living in Europe or if he was gay.
 
2013-02-06 12:57:05 AM  
Perhaps I've simply been playing too much Minecraft, but when I saw the term 'Creeper', one of my first thoughts was "It's going to explode!" instead of 'creepy guy'.
 
2013-02-06 12:58:31 AM  

feffer: I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.


PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?

Once again, Fark advice proves to be counter-productive and only good for self-sabotage. But, hey, would we want it any other way?
 
2013-02-06 12:59:07 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?


Pick Up Artist.
 
2013-02-06 12:59:21 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: Some farker once said in a thread that the best way to get women to talk to you at a bar is to audibly mutter, "That dress with those shoes?" as they walk by.


I always liked "buy me a drink and I will allow you to swoon at my booted feet" better myself. Whether the reaction is positive or negative, its always amusing, and lets face it, classier than "want to go halfsies on a baby?"
 
2013-02-06 01:00:02 AM  

DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income



Is your friend Andre from "The League"?
 
2013-02-06 01:00:11 AM  
Pick-up Artist.

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-02-06 01:00:20 AM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: feffer: I would think you were 1) gay and an asshole or 2) negging me and thus a PUA asshole.

PUA = Philistine: Uncouth, Aggressive?

Once again, Fark advice proves to be counter-productive and only good for self-sabotage. But, hey, would we want it any other way?


Pick Up Artist. A truly weird culture of really creepy people.
 
2013-02-06 01:01:52 AM  

The_Sponge: DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income


Is your friend Andre from "The League"?


Nope, he's an IT consultant, and one of those guys who, whenever you see him with a girl, you ask "How the hell did he get her?"

/Unless you know about the ATM receipt thing.
 
2013-02-06 01:02:44 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


What you describe is the female equivalent reaction of a ham-faced she-beast coming on to you.

You don't want uggos flirting with you, and you probably think them creepy as well.

/ham-faced uggo
 
2013-02-06 01:03:33 AM  

BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.


I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.
 
2013-02-06 01:03:52 AM  

DeadGeek: I had a friend whose entire game was keeping copies of his ATM receipts on him from right after his paycheck was deposited. He'd then meet girls at bars and give them his number with the line "this is really tacky, but it's the only piece of paper I have".

/he had a 75% success rate
//and a 6 figure income


how much did he keep in his friggin bank account?


what are you, an immigrant?
www.nbc.com
 
2013-02-06 01:05:22 AM  
FTFA:
If You Sit Next to Her On a PlaneNope. Leave her alone. Unless we're on Rihanna's 777 plane or your voice holds the secret to making our Xanax kick in faster, we don't want to talk to you.


What kind of stupid blanket rule is this?  That being said, I have never tried getting somebody's number on a plane.

CSB:

Back in 2004 I was on a short flight from Phoenix to Vegas.  I had an aisle seat, this cute girl in the middle, and this douche was next to the window.  I left her alone, but Mr. Douche tried way too hard....like showing off his new Motorola RAZR phone, and mentioning how he had connections at a few clubs in Vegas.

I did my best not to laugh...especially when he thought that showing off his phone was going to work.

/He did not get her number.
 
2013-02-06 01:05:43 AM  

rynthetyn: BSABSVR: I'd think that "be polite and don't invade people's space" would be complete no-brainer advice.  Then I remember there's a thread just below where people don't understand that dog shiat on the porch isn't a stand your ground situation.

I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.


Ugh.

And next time he posts about how women don't like nice guys, link him to this: http://www.wired.com/underwire/2013/01/alt-text-nice-guy/
 
2013-02-06 01:06:15 AM  

fusillade762: Complimenting shoes and eyeglasses are usually safe, in my experience.

That's all I got.


Let me guess, the first words you say to a woman are "nice shoes, wanna fark?"
 
2013-02-06 01:07:57 AM  
i468.photobucket.com
 
2013-02-06 01:09:20 AM  
Well, luckily I've been told flat out that I'm a creeper, so I don't have to guess anymore.
 
2013-02-06 01:09:50 AM  

rynthetyn: I have a friend who's routinely posting on Facebook about how women don't like nice guys. He's also the same guy who's one of those really huggy people where I had to put my foot down and make it really clear that I don't like people touching me. Instead of picking up on body language, when people recoiled he'd try to be extra huggy.


Did he just not get that pulling back meant "less of this" not "try more", or did he just think he could changing your emotional state through the healing power of his hugs?
 
2013-02-06 01:11:35 AM  
doubletaxation.files.wordpress.com

1. Be attractive
2. Don't be unattractive
 
2013-02-06 01:14:19 AM  
If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".
 
2013-02-06 01:15:29 AM  

feffer: Pick-up Artist.

[imgs.xkcd.com image 540x931]


Ah, yes. The perfect putdown by a woman -- written by a man, as the perfect compliment to a sociopath.
 
2013-02-06 01:15:43 AM  
Begoggle - Hit the nail on the head.
 
2013-02-06 01:17:32 AM  

AccuJack: If you think being seen as a "creeper" is bad, try being repeatedly friend zoned shortly after "hello".

Rejection is bad, being perceived as ruining a potential great friendship by wanting to actually *date* when that's what you had in mind from the start is really, really hard.

Seriously, I'm going to start acting like more of an asshole if it'll at least keep me from looking like someone who'd be a "really good friend".


The friend zone is not a thing. If you end up there, it's because the object of your affection thinks you are a nice person and enjoys your company but does not envision the two of you getting naked together. That's not the end of the world. At some point, you will find someone that DOES think it would be fun to get naked with you.
 
2013-02-06 01:19:35 AM  

thisiszombocom: BMFPitt: When I was a hopeless single guy, I always hated when people said, "Be confident" as if it were some kind of useful advice.

That's kind of like a track coach saying, "Run faster."

just be yourself.  you know, act natural


And for the Costanzas amongst us?

/I know, the opposite
 
2013-02-06 01:19:48 AM  

nelsonal: Which would be fine if creepy behavior was something besides flirting while being unattractive.


While there are a lot of genuine creeps, I can't find fault with this statement. There are a lot of come ons that work if you are attractive, but lock in the creep factor if you are not.
 
2013-02-06 01:21:43 AM  
I had a friend way back that reminded me of Howard from The Big Bang Theory. He was desperate and would hit on anything that was the opposite sex with the predictable results. He was big into showing off his watch and his shoes to the ladies. After being with him when security was called or when the b/f of his target would show up, I stopped associating with him. Years later I got a call out of the blue from him, he needed a character witness of some sort for a protection order hearing. I had to work that day and had no time off left to take. That's the last I heard from him.

//hearing wasactually on my day off, hehe
 
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