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(Badass Digest)   Yo dawg, we heard you liked Star Wars so we added some more Star Wars to Star Wars   (badassdigest.com) divider line 36
    More: Obvious, Yo Dawg, Star Wars, Simon Kinberg, Bob Iger, Star Wars sequel trilogy, Lawrence Kasdan, Seven Samurai  
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10327 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Feb 2013 at 9:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-02-05 09:23:27 PM
4 votes:
I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.  The guy was one of only 2 men in the entire universe than could tell Darth Vader what to do.  That is a badass dude, and I'm sure they could turn him into a more 3 dimensional character with some empathy since starwars is sorely lacking in Empathetic bad guys.

(It's hard to empathize with Anakin considering he nearly killed his baby's mama, tried to kill his mentor, murdered children and went genocidal on the sand people)
2013-02-05 10:56:12 PM
3 votes:
How about some more Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan? Did he really do nothing but be the Lars' creepy neighbor for 20 years? Let's say something more interesting happened for at least a couple hours.
2013-02-05 09:46:02 PM
3 votes:
I saw this coming. They are copying the Marvel model that is making them so much money.
2013-02-06 08:19:01 AM
2 votes:

karmachameleon: Red Letter Media got this one right, when he talked about how the prequel trilogy messed up this dynamic by making Vader larger than life, a "Jesus In Space" type of figure. It was a huge miscalculation on Lucas' part. Vader was much more menacing and mysterious as the resident bad-ass enforcer he was in the original trilogy. By turning him into some kind of mythical god-like creature in the prequel trilogy, the center of all proceedings, much of that mystique was removed, and replaced by something a lot less intriguing.


He got the assessment right but the analogy was all wrong.  Vader was mocked within the Empire because he represented brute strength; "grunts" will always be mocked by politicians (and ALL high-ranking officers are politicians) confident that they can control them.  Perhaps in their hubris, Vader was just a tool to them.  So far so good.  However, Vader wasn't some random "enforcement" guy, either.  He's not some S.S. agent.  Vader was more like a King's Champion; the unique and unbeatable knight sent out into any critical battle to turn the tide, crush morale and remind everyone that the Empire's might could not be questioned.  Leia mocked him because she's a tomboy and she was a prisoner; what the fark did she have to gain by kissing Vader's ass?

Where RLM got it right is that a champion has a very specific role whose importance does not transcend their immediate surroundings.  They're valuable, maybe even impossible to replace, but they can't do much about anyone outside their personal kill radius.  As a commander, Vader's record is mediocre at best.  In a lot of ways he's a luxury the Empire used to rub it in, like if you're going to play against the New England Patriots, love 'em or hate 'em, you have to account for Tom Brady.  If the fans are insufferable it's because they know you know it.  He's not irreplaceable in the bigger scheme of the franchise (look at what Indy did to Peyton Manning) and at his very best controls a single, 6000-square-yard patch of grass.  He's not Football Jesus.  But as long as you're contesting that patch they'll use him against you because why the hell not?  "We're an NFL team and yeah, we have one of the best QBs in the world."  Same thing.  "We're the Empire, we have an evil sorcerer for an Emperor, thousands of ships, a space station that can destroy your planet. . . oh, and yeah, we have Darth Vader and you don't."

karmachameleon: A good way to fix this (if anyone at Disney cares to) would be to not cover periods after Return of the Jedi or before the prequels; instead cover the 20 years between Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars. You could work on the Vader character and turn him back to the battle-hardened enforcer he was in the original trilogy, and would have none of the weight of having to represent any other original trilogy character


How about, after six farking movies, we say the canon characters are played out and we realize that the appeal to Star Wars isn't the story but the world?  We have an entire galaxy to play with.  There are potentially thousands of compelling stories that could be told where the most famous characters make only a cameo at best, and preferably don't appear at all.  Which of course is the one thing that will never happen with the movies.

rickycal78: I dunno what it is with some fans and Boba Fett. Dude was a chump, I don't care if he did make his way out of the Sarlac in the books. All dude did in the original trilogy was track the Falcon to Cloud City and call Vader, then proceed to go out like a biatch in the next movie.


Boba Fett's rep had less to do with anything he did (though he was the one guy who tracked down the smuggler an entire empire was looking for) and more to do with how he was treated by Vader.  Vader singled him out, pointed a finger at his nose and said, "NO DISINTEGRATION".  It's obviously a throwaway line put in there for comic relief; I doubt anyone realized what they'd done at the time.  But I remember watching Empire Strikes Back as a kid, watching that scene and thinking, "Holy shiat, Vader knows this guy!"  See the intrigue?  On one hand, Vader didn't seem to like Boba Fett very much, especially the way he works.  But there's the rub.  If Boba Fett sucked so much, Vader would just fire him or kill him.  Instead, that one line implies this bounty hunter could have a flaw so glaring as to draw Vader's personal ire, yet be otherwise so effective that the most powerful warrior in the galaxy had no choice but to rely on Fett.  The dude disintegrates because he likes to and is so good at what he does that he gets away with it.
 Fanbois don't really identify with "original trilogy" Vader.  They try but I don't think it's possible.  He's established as a transcendent character, "more machine than man", very much a fantasy element of the saga.  Even Luke is kind of a gray area later on, as he winds up being some sort of messiah.  Boba Fett, Wedge and Han Solo are the sorts of characters people most readily identify with, and that they get recognition from the likes of Luke or Vader is what makes them fascinating.  These are characters that have no special powers or fatalistic blessings, yet they walked among legends.


Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Tarkin was a bureaucrat. He was able to tell Vader what to do because Palpatine needed his expertise in keeping the local systems in line, more than he needed Vader's force-choking abilities.


This.  He's like an old General barking orders at a Special Forces soldier.  SF guy could snap his scrawny neck but he won't because following orders is what he does.  This is what struck me about Vader's platitudes.  He said that the Death Star is nothing compared to the Force and in a sense he's right that the Force was the "secret ingredient" that allowed the Rebels to defeat them, but the Force never bent entire star systems to its will.  He offered the galaxy to Luke in Ep. V but not only was that totally out of Luke's character, Vader obviously didn't know the first thing about running an empire.  If he did, Palpatine had no reason to keep Tarkin alive.
2013-02-05 11:12:40 PM
2 votes:

tinyarena: [www.eonline.com image 300x240]

I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia


Hey now, Hamill made the Joker awesome for a generation
2013-02-05 10:53:32 PM
2 votes:
Honestly, they could go across the board with it and make a fair amount of money. They could do a kid-friendly style Jedi Academy series for all the toys/cartoons/Disney parks stuff, do a Standard trilogy set in the Universe for all, and then do a much darker series or standalones. Hell, you could do some sort of Dark Knight returns crap with Luke where he's some old Jedi and the world that he saved passed him by so he comes back for one more escapade.

As for Revan, I would pay money to see that movie, however, I'm chicken. The game is so perfectly crafted and the buildup is great that I'm fine with just leaving it be as a great video game that we don't need to mess with.
2013-02-05 10:52:43 PM
2 votes:
Last time this happened we got the Ewok movie.
2013-02-05 10:34:40 PM
2 votes:
The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda


       - Weird Al, "Yoda," 1985

That song is starting to seem oddly prophetic, isn't it?
2013-02-05 10:14:52 PM
2 votes:

JimmySlicings: Boba Fett spin-off movie?
Or perhaps...
Lando?  It works every time.


I dunno what it is with some fans and Boba Fett. Dude was a chump, I don't care if he did make his way out of the Sarlac in the books. All dude did in the original trilogy was track the Falcon to Cloud City and call Vader, then proceed to go out like a biatch in the next movie.

Lando I could see. Hell I'd take a movie or two going over Han and Chewie's adventures before Luke and Obi-Wan met them. Not so sure I'd like the Yoda movie some folks are speculating on. I can already see him bouncing around like a super ball on crack. What I would love to see, as someone else stated with a pic above is a good Revan/Old Republic movie or three. That has some serious potential.
2013-02-05 10:02:32 PM
2 votes:
Screw all that, I just want to play the Star Wars pinball tables.

farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-02-05 10:00:14 PM
2 votes:

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


Damn, you're cool. No really, you're awesome.
2013-02-05 09:41:46 PM
2 votes:

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


Give us a Culture movie!
2013-02-05 09:34:27 PM
2 votes:
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

+

nuatexperiment.files.wordpress.com

HOW FARKING HARD IS THIS?!?!?
2013-02-05 09:30:38 PM
2 votes:
Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.
2013-02-05 09:26:00 PM
2 votes:
Sadly, these things will still make farktons of money for Disney, because nerds have no self-control.

"Every time you spend money, you cast a vote for the kind of world you want to live in."
2013-02-06 01:52:31 PM
1 votes:

trickymoo: Dissociater: I'd like to see two mirroring movies:  The first could be the Yoda movie and basically how he survives during the Jedi Purge after Episode 3.  There's a lot of potential story here.  Vader obviously knows about Yoda having been trained partially by him, and would know that he's alive.  So part of the story here is Yoda trying to make things safe for Luke/Leia, and avoiding Darth, and perhaps trying to save other jedi who got away.  This could be like the movie The Warriors, as Yoda and one or two other jedi try to get from point a to point b without being caught and killed, and perhaps on the way helping plant the seeds of rebellion.

Won't see unless they get a puppet out there. This back-flipping CG Yoda gave me a big softy. Yoda is not the Nefarious Dr. Wu.


I don't know why they didn't have yoda do his sword fighting with his eyes closed and the lightsaber being totally controlled by force telekinesis.  It seems so obvious, and would make way more sense.
2013-02-06 10:28:59 AM
1 votes:
Actually I can think of one really annoying downside to this and other upcoming Star Wars news: A million rehashed Star Wars jokes from now til the movie gets released whenever. AND it's a good bet that in 3 months, someone'd have 'shooped Yoda on a Star Wars: Grumpy Old Men poster or something like that if they haven't already.

It's like when Disney bought Star Wars. There still are people who think pictures of Vader with Mickey Mouse ears is goddamn hilarious. It was farking old 12 hours after the announcement!
2013-02-06 09:11:45 AM
1 votes:

Hawnkee: After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
[www.digitalbusstop.com image 303x340]


Fun fact: The narrator of Hardware Wars is your Ghost Host in Disney's Haunted Mansion ride.
2013-02-06 08:52:01 AM
1 votes:
Xizor and the Black Sun
2013-02-06 08:28:15 AM
1 votes:
You know what would be awesome?

If they killed off Jar Jar within the first five minutes of the new Star Wars movie.

IMAGINE the good will that would generate with fans with that one simple scene.
2013-02-06 06:48:54 AM
1 votes:
After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
www.digitalbusstop.com
2013-02-06 06:40:28 AM
1 votes:
Vader and Tarkin...you guys realize that Vader in the original trilogy was basically a powerful henchman, right?  He wasn't a commander or a bureaucrat, he wasn't there to "run things".  He was enforcement.  Tarkin was in charge, and when he was disposed of, Vader was probably put in place as the new boss because he was Tarkin's right-hand man.  But even other commanders in the original Star Wars talked back to Vader (with consequences, but they did talk back).  "I find your lack of faith disturbing."  This is the most obvious, common-sense way to glean things from the original trilogy.

Red Letter Media got this one right, when he talked about how the prequel trilogy messed up this dynamic by making Vader larger than life, a "Jesus In Space" type of figure.  It was a huge miscalculation on Lucas' part.  Vader was much more menacing and mysterious as the resident bad-ass enforcer he was in the original trilogy.  By turning him into some kind of mythical god-like creature in the prequel trilogy, the center of all proceedings, much of that mystique was removed, and replaced by something a lot less intriguing.

A good way to fix this (if anyone at Disney cares to) would be to not cover periods after Return of the Jedi or before the prequels; instead cover the 20 years between Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars.  You could work on the Vader character and turn him back to the battle-hardened enforcer he was in the original trilogy, and would have none of the weight of having to represent any other original trilogy character - Luke is a baby/boy/teenager and his life up to Star Wars is uneventful, Obi-Wan and Yoda are in hiding and their lives are also uneventful, Han Solo and Chewbacca are off on some other unrelated adventures, and Leia doesn't figure in things until Star Wars.  As the Empire swallows more and more systems during construction of the first Death Star (which seems to take about 20 years), there must be a lot of action and intrigue to explore there.
2013-02-06 02:01:19 AM
1 votes:

B.L.Z. Bub: Gleeman: Neeek: .5% of Star Wars

Total Star Wars Franchise Revenue = $27,000,000,000

27,000,000,000 x 0.005 = $135,000,000.

[i.imgur.com image 400x300]

B-b-but Hollywood Accounting!!!


Hollywood accounting screws the net, he had a piece of the gross.
2013-02-06 01:51:23 AM
1 votes:
Star Wars idea I've had for a game:

Copy the stealth action of Thief and Dishonored. Spanning the prequels to the original trilogy, you play as an almost-ready to graduate padawan turned exile who uses his skills as a saboteur, spy and cat burglar for corrupt senators and criminals. Because of your outcast status you get investigated (and hunted) by Jedis who falsely believe you're working with the Sith in the Galactic Senate. This leads you to the actual Sith Lord, Palpatine, who becomes your employer. You'll be helping (but secretly hindering, on your own belief or on the Emperor's orders) folks like Count Dooku, Admiral Zaarin, Inquisitor Jerec, Starkiller and Darth Vader.

A few things that make your Gray Jedi stand out: he wields a one-handed lightsaber with a transparent blade, making it confusing for opponents to counter as well as ideal for stealth. It also allows him to use the free hand for underhanded ploys like force powers, pistol shots, poisoned dagger or stun baton hits. And unlike most force users, your character believes the force makes ranged weapons incredible instruments in the hands of a Jedi.
2013-02-06 12:46:11 AM
1 votes:

JonZoidberg: Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?

Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.


So it seems. I just checked it out on Wookiepedia and there is a whole back story to that guy. I never recalled seeing a guy running around Cloud City with an ice-cream maker under his arm (supposedly a computer core).

Looks like fans have given a back story to every single person who appears on screen in the franchise. And they're all either rebel spies, kick ass bounty hunters, imperial spies, or space ninjas. There is apparently no normal people just going about their day to day lives trying to make a living in the galaxy far far away. Nobody is apolitical, everyone is either an Imperial assassin or a rebel spy.
2013-02-05 11:14:54 PM
1 votes:

fzumrk: I saw this coming. They are copying the Marvel model that is making them so much money.


Fine with me.  Those movies are making piles of money because they're good, not because moviegoers were begging to throw money at a Thor or Captain America film.
2013-02-05 10:45:42 PM
1 votes:

MrEricSir: The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

       - Weird Al, "Yoda," 1985

That song is starting to seem oddly prophetic, isn't it?


Holy Cow, you're right!

Side note: you can skip watching the prequels and just watch the superior Weird Al video "The Saga Begins," which does a fine job
2013-02-05 10:12:08 PM
1 votes:
A friend and I are playing through Bioware's Star Wars MMO. If the movies are the same level of quality as that game's opening cinematics, then they will already be way better than the prequels. Star Wars, when done right, could be a fantastic franchise again. If they are giving these films the Marvel treatment, I have no problem with that and will gladly hand over my money.

The more I hear about these new movies, the more excited I get. It's the same way I felt when I heard about the new Star Trek movie. After bitter disappointment in the last two movies (and television series), I was glad to see someone breathe new life into a stale and stagnant franchise. The same could happen here. I'm pleased as punch by the new Star Trek movies, and I expect I'll feel the same about these new Star Wars movies.
2013-02-05 10:06:34 PM
1 votes:
I'd love to see the saga from Palpatine's POV.  His strength came as much from his political abilities as it did from the Force.  Too bad he picked that whimpering, over-emotional SAP as his last apprentice.  Lessons learned, I suppose.
2013-02-05 10:05:21 PM
1 votes:
These aren't the movies you're looking for.

/move along, move along...
2013-02-05 10:00:06 PM
1 votes:

KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.


Nah, I have you Farkied as a Banks fan. I like to keep track of my fellow sci-fi enthusiasts :)
2013-02-05 09:46:36 PM
1 votes:
2013-02-05 09:19:26 PM
1 votes:
I detect a disturbance in the Force.  This will end up uglier than the inside of a scarlac.
2013-02-05 09:16:55 PM
1 votes:
cdn.gunaxin.com
When does this guy get a movie?
2013-02-05 09:09:16 PM
1 votes:
I want to thank the person that directed me to watch cartoons dot com

I've start. Clone wars from episode 1 season 1 and hope to catch up with Saturday morning toons within the year.
2013-02-05 08:36:42 PM
1 votes:
Disney to nerds: We gonna bleed yo asses dry.....
 
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