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(Badass Digest)   Yo dawg, we heard you liked Star Wars so we added some more Star Wars to Star Wars   (badassdigest.com) divider line 153
    More: Obvious, Yo Dawg, Star Wars, Simon Kinberg, Bob Iger, Star Wars sequel trilogy, Lawrence Kasdan, Seven Samurai  
•       •       •

10331 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Feb 2013 at 9:03 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



153 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-02-05 08:36:42 PM  
Disney to nerds: We gonna bleed yo asses dry.....
 
2013-02-05 09:08:15 PM  
Would not watch unless:
fc06.deviantart.net
 
2013-02-05 09:09:16 PM  
I want to thank the person that directed me to watch cartoons dot com

I've start. Clone wars from episode 1 season 1 and hope to catch up with Saturday morning toons within the year.
 
2013-02-05 09:12:07 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-05 09:16:55 PM  
cdn.gunaxin.com
When does this guy get a movie?
 
2013-02-05 09:19:26 PM  
I detect a disturbance in the Force.  This will end up uglier than the inside of a scarlac.
 
2013-02-05 09:23:27 PM  
I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.  The guy was one of only 2 men in the entire universe than could tell Darth Vader what to do.  That is a badass dude, and I'm sure they could turn him into a more 3 dimensional character with some empathy since starwars is sorely lacking in Empathetic bad guys.

(It's hard to empathize with Anakin considering he nearly killed his baby's mama, tried to kill his mentor, murdered children and went genocidal on the sand people)
 
2013-02-05 09:26:00 PM  
Sadly, these things will still make farktons of money for Disney, because nerds have no self-control.

"Every time you spend money, you cast a vote for the kind of world you want to live in."
 
2013-02-05 09:26:52 PM  

WTF Indeed: Disney to nerds: We gonna bleed yo asses dry.....


As long as Lucas doesn't write, direct, or edit them - I have no problem with this.
 
2013-02-05 09:28:16 PM  

Klippoklondike: I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.  The guy was one of only 2 men in the entire universe than could tell Darth Vader what to do.  That is a badass dude, and I'm sure they could turn him into a more 3 dimensional character with some empathy since starwars is sorely lacking in Empathetic bad guys.

(It's hard to empathize with Anakin considering he nearly killed his baby's mama, tried to kill his mentor, murdered children and went genocidal on the sand people)


Tarkin was a bureaucrat. He was able to tell Vader what to do because Palpatine needed his expertise in keeping the local systems in line, more than he needed Vader's force-choking abilities.

I can't imagine a more boring story.
 
2013-02-05 09:29:37 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-02-05 09:30:38 PM  
Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.
 
2013-02-05 09:34:27 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net

+

nuatexperiment.files.wordpress.com

HOW FARKING HARD IS THIS?!?!?
 
2013-02-05 09:40:57 PM  

Klippoklondike: I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.


Vice City or San Andreas?
 
2013-02-05 09:41:46 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


Give us a Culture movie!
 
2013-02-05 09:43:44 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


NOOOOOOOOO!
 
2013-02-05 09:46:02 PM  
I saw this coming. They are copying the Marvel model that is making them so much money.
 
2013-02-05 09:46:19 PM  

UNC_Samurai: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 670x688]

+

[nuatexperiment.files.wordpress.com image 630x280]

HOW FARKING HARD IS THIS?!?!?


Why is Bueno Excelente standing in front of Greedo?
 
2013-02-05 09:46:36 PM  
 
2013-02-05 09:47:12 PM  
Gah. Formatting. I'm confused by the new controls.
 
2013-02-05 09:47:17 PM  
*and Gozer standing next to Nien Numb?
 
2013-02-05 09:53:36 PM  

fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!


YES!
/You have a good memory.
 
2013-02-05 09:56:40 PM  

spamdog: encyclopediaplushuman: plonk If you haven't yet seen the redlettermedia review of phantom menace, it's gold over rated, bloated, and damned near as retarded as the movie it was attempting to

rip to shreds.

FTFY

/plonk wasn't cool in the 90s, why would people think it is now?
 
2013-02-05 09:59:34 PM  

UNC_Samurai: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 670x688]

+

[nuatexperiment.files.wordpress.com image 630x280]

HOW FARKING HARD IS THIS?!?!?


Rogue Squadron? I could watch a movie or two about them. Trying to identify people from memory of their descriptions in the books and failing utterly outside of Wedge up front... I guess that's Corran in the X Wing with the green R2 unit?

/Neeeeeeeeerds.jpg
//curious to see where these go. They have to be better than the prequels.
 
2013-02-05 10:00:06 PM  

KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.


Nah, I have you Farkied as a Banks fan. I like to keep track of my fellow sci-fi enthusiasts :)
 
2013-02-05 10:00:14 PM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


Damn, you're cool. No really, you're awesome.
 
2013-02-05 10:02:32 PM  
Screw all that, I just want to play the Star Wars pinball tables.

farm9.staticflickr.com
 
2013-02-05 10:03:00 PM  

Mugato: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Damn, you're cool. No really, you're awesome.


Well, at least he didn't waste the two hours watching it that the rest of us did. Then again, EP III was the half decent one out of the bunch.
 
2013-02-05 10:05:21 PM  
These aren't the movies you're looking for.

/move along, move along...
 
2013-02-05 10:06:02 PM  
Boba Fett spin-off movie?
Or perhaps...
Lando?  It works every time.
 
2013-02-05 10:06:34 PM  
I'd love to see the saga from Palpatine's POV.  His strength came as much from his political abilities as it did from the Force.  Too bad he picked that whimpering, over-emotional SAP as his last apprentice.  Lessons learned, I suppose.
 
2013-02-05 10:08:26 PM  

HalEmmerich: UNC_Samurai: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 670x688]

+

[nuatexperiment.files.wordpress.com image 630x280]

HOW FARKING HARD IS THIS?!?!?

Rogue Squadron? I could watch a movie or two about them. Trying to identify people from memory of their descriptions in the books and failing utterly outside of Wedge up front... I guess that's Corran in the X Wing with the green R2 unit?

/Neeeeeeeeerds.jpg
//curious to see where these go. They have to be better than the prequels.


I would see this as well.  I still have all my Rogue Squadron books and they've held up for the most part. Good times.

/How many start destroyers can they bury beneath Coruscant before it starts getting old (again)?
//Yub Yub, Commander!

Yub Yub, Commander!
 
2013-02-05 10:09:38 PM  
Sigh @ the double comment fail!
 
2013-02-05 10:12:08 PM  
A friend and I are playing through Bioware's Star Wars MMO. If the movies are the same level of quality as that game's opening cinematics, then they will already be way better than the prequels. Star Wars, when done right, could be a fantastic franchise again. If they are giving these films the Marvel treatment, I have no problem with that and will gladly hand over my money.

The more I hear about these new movies, the more excited I get. It's the same way I felt when I heard about the new Star Trek movie. After bitter disappointment in the last two movies (and television series), I was glad to see someone breathe new life into a stale and stagnant franchise. The same could happen here. I'm pleased as punch by the new Star Trek movies, and I expect I'll feel the same about these new Star Wars movies.
 
2013-02-05 10:14:52 PM  

JimmySlicings: Boba Fett spin-off movie?
Or perhaps...
Lando?  It works every time.


I dunno what it is with some fans and Boba Fett. Dude was a chump, I don't care if he did make his way out of the Sarlac in the books. All dude did in the original trilogy was track the Falcon to Cloud City and call Vader, then proceed to go out like a biatch in the next movie.

Lando I could see. Hell I'd take a movie or two going over Han and Chewie's adventures before Luke and Obi-Wan met them. Not so sure I'd like the Yoda movie some folks are speculating on. I can already see him bouncing around like a super ball on crack. What I would love to see, as someone else stated with a pic above is a good Revan/Old Republic movie or three. That has some serious potential.
 
2013-02-05 10:16:01 PM  

KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.


I got into the series recently, and then was startled to find Excession isn't available on US Kindles, for whatever stupid reason. Now I have to order a paperback! It's like I'm in the dark ages.

/mmmm, e-readers
 
2013-02-05 10:16:21 PM  

soporific: A friend and I are playing through Bioware's Star Wars MMO. If the movies are the same level of quality as that game's opening cinematics, then they will already be way better than the prequels. Star Wars, when done right, could be a fantastic franchise again. If they are giving these films the Marvel treatment, I have no problem with that and will gladly hand over my money.

The more I hear about these new movies, the more excited I get. It's the same way I felt when I heard about the new Star Trek movie. After bitter disappointment in the last two movies (and television series), I was glad to see someone breathe new life into a stale and stagnant franchise. The same could happen here. I'm pleased as punch by the new Star Trek movies, and I expect I'll feel the same about these new Star Wars movies.



Play the Terror From Beyond operation once geared for it.  Disney's plan to purchase Star Wars was evident midway through that raid.
 
2013-02-05 10:17:28 PM  

SithLord: soporific: A friend and I are playing through Bioware's Star Wars MMO. If the movies are the same level of quality as that game's opening cinematics, then they will already be way better than the prequels. Star Wars, when done right, could be a fantastic franchise again. If they are giving these films the Marvel treatment, I have no problem with that and will gladly hand over my money.

The more I hear about these new movies, the more excited I get. It's the same way I felt when I heard about the new Star Trek movie. After bitter disappointment in the last two movies (and television series), I was glad to see someone breathe new life into a stale and stagnant franchise. The same could happen here. I'm pleased as punch by the new Star Trek movies, and I expect I'll feel the same about these new Star Wars movies.


Play the Terror From Beyond operation once geared for it.  Disney's plan to purchase Star Wars was evident midway through that raid.


I'll keep that in mind. Thanks.
 
2013-02-05 10:19:47 PM  
img2u.info
"Meesa just found out Imma gettin my own movie!"
 
2013-02-05 10:25:23 PM  

fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.

Nah, I have you Farkied as a Banks fan. I like to keep track of my fellow sci-fi enthusiasts :)


I also had you marked as "sci-fi funny" heh.
 
2013-02-05 10:25:41 PM  
I think what we're going to see is alternating Star Wars movie, with one every year. That means from 2015 to 2021 we're probably going to get six Star Wars movies, doubling the current total of Star Wars.

I don't care, I know it's a sickness, but this sounds awesome to me, and I will probably see all of these. At least one of these has to be good.... right?
 
2013-02-05 10:34:40 PM  
The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda


       - Weird Al, "Yoda," 1985

That song is starting to seem oddly prophetic, isn't it?
 
2013-02-05 10:35:15 PM  
Well written, well directed Seven Samurai remake in Star Wars universe w/ Yoda as Toshiro Mifune?  Yes please.
 
2013-02-05 10:38:11 PM  
Um, didn't they say this during the conference call on the day of the announcement?
 
2013-02-05 10:45:05 PM  
Instead of J.J. Abrams, they need to hire that guy who does the Mr. Plinkett reviews.
 
2013-02-05 10:45:42 PM  

MrEricSir: The long-term contract I had to sign
Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time
Oh with my Yoda
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoda

       - Weird Al, "Yoda," 1985

That song is starting to seem oddly prophetic, isn't it?


Holy Cow, you're right!

Side note: you can skip watching the prequels and just watch the superior Weird Al video "The Saga Begins," which does a fine job
 
2013-02-05 10:46:02 PM  
I want to see a Blues Brothers-style movie about the Catina Band.
 
2013-02-05 10:46:38 PM  

No Line For Beer: Um, didn't they say this during the conference call on the day of the announcement?


No, that was just announcing plans for the new trilogy, 3 new movies. This announcement brings the announced total up to 5.
 
2013-02-05 10:52:43 PM  
Last time this happened we got the Ewok movie.
 
2013-02-05 10:53:32 PM  
Honestly, they could go across the board with it and make a fair amount of money. They could do a kid-friendly style Jedi Academy series for all the toys/cartoons/Disney parks stuff, do a Standard trilogy set in the Universe for all, and then do a much darker series or standalones. Hell, you could do some sort of Dark Knight returns crap with Luke where he's some old Jedi and the world that he saved passed him by so he comes back for one more escapade.

As for Revan, I would pay money to see that movie, however, I'm chicken. The game is so perfectly crafted and the buildup is great that I'm fine with just leaving it be as a great video game that we don't need to mess with.
 
2013-02-05 10:56:12 PM  
How about some more Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan? Did he really do nothing but be the Lars' creepy neighbor for 20 years? Let's say something more interesting happened for at least a couple hours.
 
2013-02-05 10:59:20 PM  

Nem Wan: Did he really do nothing but be the Lars' creepy neighbor for 20 years?


I always the adventures of obi-wan between III and IV would have been a pretty good video game series
 
2013-02-05 11:09:32 PM  
www.eonline.com

I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia
 
2013-02-05 11:12:40 PM  

tinyarena: [www.eonline.com image 300x240]

I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia


Hey now, Hamill made the Joker awesome for a generation
 
2013-02-05 11:14:54 PM  

fzumrk: I saw this coming. They are copying the Marvel model that is making them so much money.


Fine with me.  Those movies are making piles of money because they're good, not because moviegoers were begging to throw money at a Thor or Captain America film.
 
2013-02-05 11:15:50 PM  
i3.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-02-05 11:18:44 PM  
What about Artoo's love interest?

1.bp.blogspot.com

Link
 
2013-02-05 11:26:30 PM  

WTF Indeed: Disney to nerds: We gonna bleed yo asses dry.....


If it's good, bleed away.
 
2013-02-05 11:31:33 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2013-02-05 11:39:02 PM  

LesserEvil: [img2u.info image 300x324]
"Meesa just found out Imma gettin my own movie!"


Ghastly: Last time this happened we got the Ewok movie.



Jar Jar goes to Endor...
 
2013-02-05 11:40:34 PM  

Ghastly: Last time this happened we got the Ewok movie.


Movies.  Yes there were two, the second one even worse.
 
2013-02-05 11:44:59 PM  
images4.wikia.nocookie.net
I used to read this comic. Let's see. Up front: Wedge on center. Next line, L-R. Dllr Nep the Sullustan, Plour Illo the Queen of Eiattu (when the series started, she was piebald), Corran Horn, defector Soontir Fel (and father of Han's son-in-law), badly mulletized Tycho Celchu and Winter. Old guy in green behind then is General Horton Salm. The Mon Cal is Ibtisam, the Quarren in Nrin Vakil, ironically the best of friends. Don't remember the others, but I would guess Hobbie is in the X-Wing cockpit and Janson is on the ladder.

/preemptive NEEEEEEEEERRRRDDDDSSS!!!! slashies.
 
2013-02-05 11:47:08 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: LesserEvil: [img2u.info image 300x324]
"Meesa just found out Imma gettin my own movie!"

Ghastly: Last time this happened we got the Ewok movie.


Jar Jar goes to Endor...


Actually....

i.imgur.com

On the bright side, we'll see a new Star Wars movie by the end of this year.
 
2013-02-05 11:48:12 PM  

Aboleth: [images4.wikia.nocookie.net image 850x874]
I used to read this comic. Let's see. Up front: Wedge on center. Next line, L-R. Dllr Nep the Sullustan, Plour Illo the Queen of Eiattu (when the series started, she was piebald), Corran Horn, defector Soontir Fel (and father of Han's son-in-law), badly mulletized Tycho Celchu and Winter. Old guy in green behind then is General Horton Salm. The Mon Cal is Ibtisam, the Quarren in Nrin Vakil, ironically the best of friends. Don't remember the others, but I would guess Hobbie is in the X-Wing cockpit and Janson is on the ladder.

/preemptive NEEEEEEEEERRRRDDDDSSS!!!! slashies.


images.wikia.com
 
2013-02-06 12:11:51 AM  
Even if you made the ships in the culture talk in the way they animated HitchHikers Guide To The Galaxy, a culture novel wouldn't work as a movie. They work fine as audiobooks - but there's no way to translate that dialog density and whimsy to the screen.
 
2013-02-06 12:12:02 AM  

frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]


Is... is that an ice cream maker?
 
2013-02-06 12:18:11 AM  
I wouldn't mind seeing Havoc Squad on the big screen...

/ just sayin'
 
2013-02-06 12:18:44 AM  

Spanky_McFarksalot: Nem Wan: Did he really do nothing but be the Lars' creepy neighbor for 20 years?

I always the adventures of obi-wan between III and IV would have been a pretty good video game series


imperialholocron.com
 
2013-02-06 12:23:38 AM  

Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?


Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.
 
2013-02-06 12:26:11 AM  
I've said it once, and I'll say it until it happens...

KOTOR 1 & 2 should be turned into a live action tv series with lots of gratuitous flashbacks to the Mandalorian Wars and finishing with the eventual battle against the Sith Emperor on Dromund Kaas.  Though, the battle against the Sith has GOT to be more interesting and give the Exile some damned personality for Force's sake.

/I prefer a crazy, slutty Exile, but whatever...
 
2013-02-06 12:34:37 AM  

tinyarena: I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia


From what Hamill says, he went into voice acting because he likes voice acting. He owns .5% of Star Wars. I can't imagine he is forced into roles due to lack of cash.
 
2013-02-06 12:35:42 AM  

halfmoth: Spanky_McFarksalot: Nem Wan: Did he really do nothing but be the Lars' creepy neighbor for 20 years?

I always the adventures of obi-wan between III and IV would have been a pretty good video game series

[imperialholocron.com image 577x600]


I assumed he spent that 20 years drinking very heavily. That's the only way his version of the Clone Wars works. "Your father wanted you to have this, when you were old enough."
 
2013-02-06 12:36:12 AM  

Zombalupagus: What about Artoo's love interest?

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 300x236]

Link


"Firemen come along, attach their hoses to it, turn it on and water comes out"

This is a Star Wars movie idea we all can get behind.
 
2013-02-06 12:37:12 AM  

JonZoidberg: Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?

Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.


I remember watching a 'making of' way back when about the 2010 (2001 sequel) film, half the stuff in the ship interiors (bridge controls, random devices, etc.) was taken from local junk yards and a trip to the dump.
 
2013-02-06 12:37:15 AM  

Neeek: tinyarena: I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia

From what Hamill says, he went into voice acting because he likes voice acting. He owns .5% of Star Wars. I can't imagine he is forced into roles due to lack of cash.


It's all worth it for his story of trying out for the role of the Joker. I love the notion of Mark Hamill driving in LA, practicing his Joker laugh on the way. Anyone who saw that must have... had interesting thoughts.
 
2013-02-06 12:42:23 AM  

Neeek: .5% of Star Wars


Total Star Wars Franchise Revenue = $27,000,000,000

27,000,000,000 x 0.005 = $135,000,000.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-06 12:46:08 AM  

QT_3.14159: I've said it once, and I'll say it until it happens...

KOTOR 1 & 2 should be turned into a live action tv series with lots of gratuitous flashbacks to the Mandalorian Wars and finishing with the eventual battle against the Sith Emperor on Dromund Kaas.  Though, the battle against the Sith has GOT to be more interesting and give the Exile some damned personality for Force's sake.

/I prefer a crazy, slutty Exile, but whatever...


Mandalorian Wars would be an excellent idea.  Fans seem to love Mandalorians.  It will have action; war in a franchise titled "Star Wars" is a given.  It has pompous Jedi being pompous, spawning kick-butt maverick Jedi, and Jedi butt-kicking when they're not being pompous.

KOTOR/TOR, they've already explored.  We don't need an in-depth depiction of a 2-week kinrath spider killing spree, or days of wandering around Manaan.  That and I don't have faith in anyone making a decent adaption from a BW video game (they're half-movie anyway, and that's a good thing).
 
2013-02-06 12:46:11 AM  

JonZoidberg: Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?

Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.


So it seems. I just checked it out on Wookiepedia and there is a whole back story to that guy. I never recalled seeing a guy running around Cloud City with an ice-cream maker under his arm (supposedly a computer core).

Looks like fans have given a back story to every single person who appears on screen in the franchise. And they're all either rebel spies, kick ass bounty hunters, imperial spies, or space ninjas. There is apparently no normal people just going about their day to day lives trying to make a living in the galaxy far far away. Nobody is apolitical, everyone is either an Imperial assassin or a rebel spy.
 
2013-02-06 12:54:00 AM  
I think what we're going to see is alternating Star Wars movie, with one every year. That means from 2015 to 2021 we're probably going to get six Star Wars movies, doubling the current total of Star Wars.

One a year from 2015 to 2021 is seven movies.

/rooting for Palpatine movie
//if they can do a decent origin story without completely farking him up
 
2013-02-06 12:54:17 AM  

Ghastly: JonZoidberg: Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?

Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.

So it seems. I just checked it out on Wookiepedia and there is a whole back story to that guy. I never recalled seeing a guy running around Cloud City with an ice-cream maker under his arm (supposedly a computer core).


Computer core my butt.  It's a cryo freeze pod full of little soldiers.  Between that guy and Lando, the only black guys in the universe, they have to repopulate the universe somehow.
 
2013-02-06 12:58:50 AM  

Ghastly: JonZoidberg: Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?

Yep, it belonged to George Lucas, if the rumors are correct.

So it seems. I just checked it out on Wookiepedia and there is a whole back story to that guy. I never recalled seeing a guy running around Cloud City with an ice-cream maker under his arm (supposedly a computer core).

Looks like fans have given a back story to every single person who appears on screen in the franchise. And they're all either rebel spies, kick ass bounty hunters, imperial spies, or space ninjas. There is apparently no normal people just going about their day to day lives trying to make a living in the galaxy far far away. Nobody is apolitical, everyone is either an Imperial assassin or a rebel spy.


www.nndb.com

What did you do during the Great Rebellion? I shoveled shiat on Dantooine.
 
2013-02-06 01:08:27 AM  

Gleeman: Neeek: .5% of Star Wars

Total Star Wars Franchise Revenue = $27,000,000,000

27,000,000,000 x 0.005 = $135,000,000.

[i.imgur.com image 400x300]


B-b-but Hollywood Accounting!!!
 
2013-02-06 01:12:48 AM  
I have obtained this exclusive photo of the very first scene of the new 'Star Wars' movie!


i.imgur.com


July, 1977 Sheboygan Wisconsin. When that star destroyer came over the top of the screen it changed my life forever.

/Yes, I'm very exited and will spend monies
//Nerd
 
2013-02-06 01:51:23 AM  
Star Wars idea I've had for a game:

Copy the stealth action of Thief and Dishonored. Spanning the prequels to the original trilogy, you play as an almost-ready to graduate padawan turned exile who uses his skills as a saboteur, spy and cat burglar for corrupt senators and criminals. Because of your outcast status you get investigated (and hunted) by Jedis who falsely believe you're working with the Sith in the Galactic Senate. This leads you to the actual Sith Lord, Palpatine, who becomes your employer. You'll be helping (but secretly hindering, on your own belief or on the Emperor's orders) folks like Count Dooku, Admiral Zaarin, Inquisitor Jerec, Starkiller and Darth Vader.

A few things that make your Gray Jedi stand out: he wields a one-handed lightsaber with a transparent blade, making it confusing for opponents to counter as well as ideal for stealth. It also allows him to use the free hand for underhanded ploys like force powers, pistol shots, poisoned dagger or stun baton hits. And unlike most force users, your character believes the force makes ranged weapons incredible instruments in the hands of a Jedi.
 
2013-02-06 02:01:19 AM  

B.L.Z. Bub: Gleeman: Neeek: .5% of Star Wars

Total Star Wars Franchise Revenue = $27,000,000,000

27,000,000,000 x 0.005 = $135,000,000.

[i.imgur.com image 400x300]

B-b-but Hollywood Accounting!!!


Hollywood accounting screws the net, he had a piece of the gross.
 
2013-02-06 02:22:52 AM  

Klippoklondike: I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.  The guy was one of only 2 men in the entire universe than could tell Darth Vader what to do.  That is a badass dude, and I'm sure they could turn him into a more 3 dimensional character with some empathy since starwars is sorely lacking in Empathetic bad guys.

(It's hard to empathize with Anakin considering he nearly killed his baby's mama, tried to kill his mentor, murdered children and went genocidal on the sand people)


This a great idea. I've always thought that too. He basically told Vader to STFU several times. That says a lot.
 
2013-02-06 02:23:47 AM  
I would would like to see a TV series spinoff with a young Yoda as a bodega manager on a Yiddish galactic planet populated by muppet characters.
 
2013-02-06 02:24:17 AM  
Yo dawg

Find beloved pet, we must
 
2013-02-06 02:29:29 AM  
www.littlestuffedbull.com images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org

Jaxxon spin-off!
 
2013-02-06 02:59:34 AM  

Klippoklondike: I would love to see a movie about Grand Moff Tarkin.  The guy was one of only 2 men in the entire universe than could tell Darth Vader what to do.  That is a badass dude, and I'm sure they could turn him into a more 3 dimensional character with some empathy since starwars is sorely lacking in Empathetic bad guys.

(It's hard to empathize with Anakin considering he nearly killed his baby's mama, tried to kill his mentor, murdered children and went genocidal on the sand people)


They did do an arc on Clone Wars with Tarkin. Lots of friction between him and Anakin. Tarkin was constantly acting like he was better than everyone there and Anakin constantly looked like he wanted to drop Tarkin in the lava at the bottom of the pit they were escaping from.
 
2013-02-06 03:05:37 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


So you spend four hours of your life getting zero hours of entertainment, and the rest of us spent six hours of our lives getting one hour of entertainment.

Hate to break it to you, but the rest of us still have a better ROI on our entertainment dollar.

//KOTOR would be a good movie except that they made entirely the wrong ending canon.  Dark side ending + Bastilla as love interest made by far the best thematic sense and gave the best shape to the story of any combination.  KOTOR 2 and TOR would have to be ignored completely to make it a decent movie, though.  Not that they weren't good games, but the story arcs weren't anywhere near as coherent or epic.
 
2013-02-06 03:14:55 AM  

Jizz Master Zero: They did do an arc on Clone Wars with Tarkin. Lots of friction between him and Anakin. Tarkin was constantly acting like he was better than everyone there and Anakin constantly looked like he wanted to drop Tarkin in the lava at the bottom of the pit they were escaping from.


I believe Anakin was mostly agreeing with Tarkin's tactics in that arc, while Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were the ones at odds with this obnoxious non-Jedi fleet captain who actually had good points about the failings of the Jedi leading an army.

There was a Clone Wars Google Hangout last weekend and Dave Filoni & Sam Witwer were discussed the Vader-Tarkin relationship. Vader biatchchoked generals, but he was downright amicable, almost friend-like with Tarkin, like they knew each other from way back and had these little things between them that only they both knew about, like "presence of my old master" and things like that. They appear to be slowly implementing that relationship in the Clone Wars.
 
2013-02-06 03:22:16 AM  

SN1987a goes boom: [encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 259x194]


what a disturbing picture. are her udders bleeding?
 
2013-02-06 03:29:44 AM  

Aboleth: I believe Anakin was mostly agreeing with Tarkin's tactics in that arc, while Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were the ones at odds with this obnoxious non-Jedi fleet captain who actually had good points about the failings of the Jedi leading an army.


Anakin agreed with his philosophy, but hated his guts anyway. It fit fine with Episode IV.
 
2013-02-06 03:56:13 AM  

scalpod: [www.littlestuffedbull.com image 244x375] [images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org image 180x240]

Jaxxon spin-off!


If your Righteous Indignation has suffered a hit,
and your photon accelerator's broken a bit,
and you're losin' your mind and you're havin' a fit,
GET THE FUNKY FRESH RABBIT WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF IT!

/let's croak us some Toads
 
2013-02-06 05:47:28 AM  

Aboleth: Jizz Master Zero: They did do an arc on Clone Wars with Tarkin. Lots of friction between him and Anakin. Tarkin was constantly acting like he was better than everyone there and Anakin constantly looked like he wanted to drop Tarkin in the lava at the bottom of the pit they were escaping from.

I believe Anakin was mostly agreeing with Tarkin's tactics in that arc, while Ahsoka and Obi-Wan were the ones at odds with this obnoxious non-Jedi fleet captain who actually had good points about the failings of the Jedi leading an army.

There was a Clone Wars Google Hangout last weekend and Dave Filoni & Sam Witwer were discussed the Vader-Tarkin relationship. Vader biatchchoked generals, but he was downright amicable, almost friend-like with Tarkin, like they knew each other from way back and had these little things between them that only they both knew about, like "presence of my old master" and things like that. They appear to be slowly implementing that relationship in the Clone Wars.


Yeah, after watching it again (I couldn't resist), yeah, Anakin does start warming up to him and vice versa.  I think it makes for a much more interesting dynamic than them being adversarial.
 
2013-02-06 06:33:38 AM  
Anyone else excited about the Cantina band movie coming in 2014?  Or perhaps Uncle Owen Goes Farming?
 
2013-02-06 06:40:28 AM  
Vader and Tarkin...you guys realize that Vader in the original trilogy was basically a powerful henchman, right?  He wasn't a commander or a bureaucrat, he wasn't there to "run things".  He was enforcement.  Tarkin was in charge, and when he was disposed of, Vader was probably put in place as the new boss because he was Tarkin's right-hand man.  But even other commanders in the original Star Wars talked back to Vader (with consequences, but they did talk back).  "I find your lack of faith disturbing."  This is the most obvious, common-sense way to glean things from the original trilogy.

Red Letter Media got this one right, when he talked about how the prequel trilogy messed up this dynamic by making Vader larger than life, a "Jesus In Space" type of figure.  It was a huge miscalculation on Lucas' part.  Vader was much more menacing and mysterious as the resident bad-ass enforcer he was in the original trilogy.  By turning him into some kind of mythical god-like creature in the prequel trilogy, the center of all proceedings, much of that mystique was removed, and replaced by something a lot less intriguing.

A good way to fix this (if anyone at Disney cares to) would be to not cover periods after Return of the Jedi or before the prequels; instead cover the 20 years between Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars.  You could work on the Vader character and turn him back to the battle-hardened enforcer he was in the original trilogy, and would have none of the weight of having to represent any other original trilogy character - Luke is a baby/boy/teenager and his life up to Star Wars is uneventful, Obi-Wan and Yoda are in hiding and their lives are also uneventful, Han Solo and Chewbacca are off on some other unrelated adventures, and Leia doesn't figure in things until Star Wars.  As the Empire swallows more and more systems during construction of the first Death Star (which seems to take about 20 years), there must be a lot of action and intrigue to explore there.
 
2013-02-06 06:48:54 AM  
After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
www.digitalbusstop.com
 
2013-02-06 06:49:39 AM  
For over a generation 'Star Wars' has been the guardian of creativity and originality in the movie industry.  Before the dark times, before the Empire...
 
2013-02-06 06:51:29 AM  

Ghastly: frestcrallen: [media.tumblr.com image 500x365]

Is... is that an ice cream maker?


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-02-06 07:05:51 AM  

fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.

Nah, I have you Farkied as a Banks fan. I like to keep track of my fellow sci-fi enthusiasts :)


Read that as "Binks fan" (as in Jar-Jar) and thought "wow, meanest Farkie ever".
 
2013-02-06 08:00:57 AM  
And this is why I stopped watching movies. This plays off as nothing more than a cash grab. Well they aren't getting mine.

/lawn, onion belt, etc.
 
2013-02-06 08:19:01 AM  

karmachameleon: Red Letter Media got this one right, when he talked about how the prequel trilogy messed up this dynamic by making Vader larger than life, a "Jesus In Space" type of figure. It was a huge miscalculation on Lucas' part. Vader was much more menacing and mysterious as the resident bad-ass enforcer he was in the original trilogy. By turning him into some kind of mythical god-like creature in the prequel trilogy, the center of all proceedings, much of that mystique was removed, and replaced by something a lot less intriguing.


He got the assessment right but the analogy was all wrong.  Vader was mocked within the Empire because he represented brute strength; "grunts" will always be mocked by politicians (and ALL high-ranking officers are politicians) confident that they can control them.  Perhaps in their hubris, Vader was just a tool to them.  So far so good.  However, Vader wasn't some random "enforcement" guy, either.  He's not some S.S. agent.  Vader was more like a King's Champion; the unique and unbeatable knight sent out into any critical battle to turn the tide, crush morale and remind everyone that the Empire's might could not be questioned.  Leia mocked him because she's a tomboy and she was a prisoner; what the fark did she have to gain by kissing Vader's ass?

Where RLM got it right is that a champion has a very specific role whose importance does not transcend their immediate surroundings.  They're valuable, maybe even impossible to replace, but they can't do much about anyone outside their personal kill radius.  As a commander, Vader's record is mediocre at best.  In a lot of ways he's a luxury the Empire used to rub it in, like if you're going to play against the New England Patriots, love 'em or hate 'em, you have to account for Tom Brady.  If the fans are insufferable it's because they know you know it.  He's not irreplaceable in the bigger scheme of the franchise (look at what Indy did to Peyton Manning) and at his very best controls a single, 6000-square-yard patch of grass.  He's not Football Jesus.  But as long as you're contesting that patch they'll use him against you because why the hell not?  "We're an NFL team and yeah, we have one of the best QBs in the world."  Same thing.  "We're the Empire, we have an evil sorcerer for an Emperor, thousands of ships, a space station that can destroy your planet. . . oh, and yeah, we have Darth Vader and you don't."

karmachameleon: A good way to fix this (if anyone at Disney cares to) would be to not cover periods after Return of the Jedi or before the prequels; instead cover the 20 years between Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars. You could work on the Vader character and turn him back to the battle-hardened enforcer he was in the original trilogy, and would have none of the weight of having to represent any other original trilogy character


How about, after six farking movies, we say the canon characters are played out and we realize that the appeal to Star Wars isn't the story but the world?  We have an entire galaxy to play with.  There are potentially thousands of compelling stories that could be told where the most famous characters make only a cameo at best, and preferably don't appear at all.  Which of course is the one thing that will never happen with the movies.

rickycal78: I dunno what it is with some fans and Boba Fett. Dude was a chump, I don't care if he did make his way out of the Sarlac in the books. All dude did in the original trilogy was track the Falcon to Cloud City and call Vader, then proceed to go out like a biatch in the next movie.


Boba Fett's rep had less to do with anything he did (though he was the one guy who tracked down the smuggler an entire empire was looking for) and more to do with how he was treated by Vader.  Vader singled him out, pointed a finger at his nose and said, "NO DISINTEGRATION".  It's obviously a throwaway line put in there for comic relief; I doubt anyone realized what they'd done at the time.  But I remember watching Empire Strikes Back as a kid, watching that scene and thinking, "Holy shiat, Vader knows this guy!"  See the intrigue?  On one hand, Vader didn't seem to like Boba Fett very much, especially the way he works.  But there's the rub.  If Boba Fett sucked so much, Vader would just fire him or kill him.  Instead, that one line implies this bounty hunter could have a flaw so glaring as to draw Vader's personal ire, yet be otherwise so effective that the most powerful warrior in the galaxy had no choice but to rely on Fett.  The dude disintegrates because he likes to and is so good at what he does that he gets away with it.
 Fanbois don't really identify with "original trilogy" Vader.  They try but I don't think it's possible.  He's established as a transcendent character, "more machine than man", very much a fantasy element of the saga.  Even Luke is kind of a gray area later on, as he winds up being some sort of messiah.  Boba Fett, Wedge and Han Solo are the sorts of characters people most readily identify with, and that they get recognition from the likes of Luke or Vader is what makes them fascinating.  These are characters that have no special powers or fatalistic blessings, yet they walked among legends.


Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: Tarkin was a bureaucrat. He was able to tell Vader what to do because Palpatine needed his expertise in keeping the local systems in line, more than he needed Vader's force-choking abilities.


This.  He's like an old General barking orders at a Special Forces soldier.  SF guy could snap his scrawny neck but he won't because following orders is what he does.  This is what struck me about Vader's platitudes.  He said that the Death Star is nothing compared to the Force and in a sense he's right that the Force was the "secret ingredient" that allowed the Rebels to defeat them, but the Force never bent entire star systems to its will.  He offered the galaxy to Luke in Ep. V but not only was that totally out of Luke's character, Vader obviously didn't know the first thing about running an empire.  If he did, Palpatine had no reason to keep Tarkin alive.
 
2013-02-06 08:28:15 AM  
You know what would be awesome?

If they killed off Jar Jar within the first five minutes of the new Star Wars movie.

IMAGINE the good will that would generate with fans with that one simple scene.
 
2013-02-06 08:52:01 AM  
Xizor and the Black Sun
 
2013-02-06 08:56:40 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


I saw the last one because I was curious about how Lucas would handle the creation of Vader (terribly, of course). I never saw Clones because I've never heard a single good thing about it.

/except maybe Natalie Portman's midriff.
//no interest in Star Wars: the Money Grab
 
2013-02-06 09:11:45 AM  

Hawnkee: After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
[www.digitalbusstop.com image 303x340]


Fun fact: The narrator of Hardware Wars is your Ghost Host in Disney's Haunted Mansion ride.
 
2013-02-06 09:16:27 AM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: SadlyHappily, these things will still make farktons of money for Disney, because nerds have no self-controlwill enjoy them tremendously, like they did with the Disney produced Marvel movies.

"Every time you spend money, you cast a vote for the kind of world you want to live in."


Sorry for you that we like something that you don't.
 
2013-02-06 09:16:47 AM  

blacksharpiemarker: Mugato: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Damn, you're cool. No really, you're awesome.

Well, at least he didn't waste the two hours watching it that the rest of us did. Then again, EP III was the half decent one out of the bunch.


I thought I was going to flip over it.  It came up short.
 
2013-02-06 09:17:53 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.


That post is at least 50% bullshiat.
 
2013-02-06 09:21:00 AM  

Shrugging Atlas: fzumrk: I saw this coming. They are copying the Marvel model that is making them so much money.

Fine with me.  Those movies are making piles of money because they're good, not because moviegoers were begging to throw money at a Thor or Captain America film.


Honestly, totally this.  I'm not a fan of the characters Thor or Captain America (Iron Man, though was always super badass).  I was incredibly skeptical about a movie based on either of them but those movies were really good and the Avengers movie was fantastic.  They've had a run of some great, great, great movies using serious budgets, serious actors, and serious directors.  Star Wars getting the same treatment would be so insanely awesome.

Yes, I can handle two or three Star Wars movies a year like they're doing with Marvel movies.
 
2013-02-06 09:22:26 AM  
www.aerojockey.com
 
2013-02-06 09:24:12 AM  

mochunk: And this is why I stopped watching movies. This plays off as nothing more than a cash grab. Well they aren't getting mine.

/lawn, onion belt, etc.


It's amazing how that works: They give me something I want, I give them money.
 
2013-02-06 09:28:55 AM  
Call me a dreamer, but I would like to see an Avengers vs Star Wars film.

Why? Just farking because. Doesn't even need to make sense. Explain it as magic, wormholes, a booze filled Tony Stark hallucination whatever.
 
2013-02-06 09:29:43 AM  

LesserEvil: "Meesa just found out Imma gettin my own movie!"


There will be farking murders if that happens.
 
2013-02-06 09:35:00 AM  
I'd like to see two mirroring movies:  The first could be the Yoda movie and basically how he survives during the Jedi Purge after Episode 3.  There's a lot of potential story here.  Vader obviously knows about Yoda having been trained partially by him, and would know that he's alive.  So part of the story here is Yoda trying to make things safe for Luke/Leia, and avoiding Darth, and perhaps trying to save other jedi who got away.  This could be like the movie The Warriors, as Yoda and one or two other jedi try to get from point a to point b without being caught and killed, and perhaps on the way helping plant the seeds of rebellion.

The second mirroring movie would be the opposite and would be movies 7-9.  Turns out Vader had a secret apprentice as he suspected his son wouldn't be turned to the dark side and wanted backup to kill the emperor.  Some 20 years after the events of Episode 6 this apprentice has taken on an apprentice of his own, who he sends out into the galaxy to assassinate Luke's newly trained Jedi to weaken their position to make a coup more possible.  Luke should die here the way Obi-wan did, thus spurring on his best apprentice (son?) to hunt down the two Sith.

So on one side you have the sith hunting down the remaining jedi, and on the other you have the jedi hunting down the remaining sith.  I think I would enjoy that.  But what do I know...
 
2013-02-06 09:38:46 AM  
I'm actually hoping for more Obi Wan adventures. He seems to be the only Jedi worth a damn. Let us see what he did between dropping off the Skywalker kids and helping Luke get away from the Tusken Raiders.
 
2013-02-06 09:39:07 AM  

chewielouie: Hawnkee: After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
[www.digitalbusstop.com image 303x340]

Fun fact: The narrator of Hardware Wars is your Ghost Host in Disney's Haunted Mansion ride.


Lovely.  Now if I ever do go, I'll not be able to stop laughing for the entire ride. Worth it!

/You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss $87 goodbye.
 
2013-02-06 09:56:24 AM  

Neeek: tinyarena: I can't believe he's worth over 5 Billion dollars . . . and I ended up doing cartoon voice-overs . . .
Luke, There wasn't anything you could have done.
Shut up Leia

From what Hamill says, he went into voice acting because he likes voice acting. He owns .5% of Star Wars. I can't imagine he is forced into roles due to lack of cash.


He was on Adam Corolla's podcast a couple of weeks ago.  Worth checking out.  He seems to be content with his family life, but got the feeling from some of his answers that he does miss the acting jobs.  He was trying to talk up Sushi Girl, the movie he was in that just came out.
 
2013-02-06 10:27:25 AM  

Hawnkee: After almost 35 years, they should finally release Hardware Wars.
[www.digitalbusstop.com image 303x340]




I'm proud to be obi one kenobi.
 
2013-02-06 10:27:53 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

I saw the last one because I was curious about how Lucas would handle the creation of Vader (terribly, of course). I never saw Clones because I've never heard a single good thing about it.


/except maybe Natalie Portman's midriff.
//no interest in Star Wars: the Money Grab

Worth the price of admission it was.
 
2013-02-06 10:28:59 AM  
Actually I can think of one really annoying downside to this and other upcoming Star Wars news: A million rehashed Star Wars jokes from now til the movie gets released whenever. AND it's a good bet that in 3 months, someone'd have 'shooped Yoda on a Star Wars: Grumpy Old Men poster or something like that if they haven't already.

It's like when Disney bought Star Wars. There still are people who think pictures of Vader with Mickey Mouse ears is goddamn hilarious. It was farking old 12 hours after the announcement!
 
2013-02-06 10:35:03 AM  

HallsOfMandos: Tyrone Slothrop: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

I saw the last one because I was curious about how Lucas would handle the creation of Vader (terribly, of course). I never saw Clones because I've never heard a single good thing about it.

/except maybe Natalie Portman's midriff.
//no interest in Star Wars: the Money Grab

Worth the price of admission it was.




Living in Florida, I gotta say, I miss that "fashion."
 
2013-02-06 11:04:16 AM  
Give me Dark Forces. Followed by Jedi Knight and Jedi Outcast.
 
2013-02-06 11:31:56 AM  

Aboleth: Actually I can think of one really annoying downside to this and other upcoming Star Wars news: A million rehashed Star Wars jokes from now til the movie gets released whenever. AND it's a good bet that in 3 months, someone'd have 'shooped Yoda on a Star Wars: Grumpy Old Men poster or something like that if they haven't already.

It's like when Disney bought Star Wars. There still are people who think pictures of Vader with Mickey Mouse ears is goddamn hilarious. It was farking old 12 hours after the announcement!


Duh. That's because it is funnier to have Darth Goofy.
 
Bf+
2013-02-06 11:33:20 AM  
Can't wait to see "Dagobah Babies".
 
2013-02-06 12:46:57 PM  

JimmySlicings: Boba Fett spin-off movie?
Or perhaps...
Lando?  It works every time.


Lando would be awesome.

Mix that in with the Han Solo we wanted to know. You know, the one who was bombing around the galaxy with Chewie. Smugglign shiat, sleeping with the emperors daughter and jumpin the falcon over some big ravine/ star destroyers. The Han that just farkin shoots any bounty hunter he wants first. A real scumshiat

/ They would ruin everything about that story they could
// I'd like to see a movie from SW universe; "The Kessel Run", Dash Rendar included.
 
2013-02-06 12:47:34 PM  
"Slave Leia: the movie"
 
2013-02-06 12:58:53 PM  

Dissociater: I'd like to see two mirroring movies:  The first could be the Yoda movie and basically how he survives during the Jedi Purge after Episode 3.  There's a lot of potential story here.  Vader obviously knows about Yoda having been trained partially by him, and would know that he's alive.  So part of the story here is Yoda trying to make things safe for Luke/Leia, and avoiding Darth, and perhaps trying to save other jedi who got away.  This could be like the movie The Warriors, as Yoda and one or two other jedi try to get from point a to point b without being caught and killed, and perhaps on the way helping plant the seeds of rebellion.


Won't see unless they get a puppet out there. This back-flipping CG Yoda gave me a big softy. Yoda is not the Nefarious Dr. Wu.
 
2013-02-06 12:59:49 PM  
It's all going to be a Pixar animation.
 
2013-02-06 01:11:50 PM  

mrexcess: Instead of J.J. Abrams, they need to hire that guy who does the Mr. Plinkett reviews.


While I enjoyed the RLM/Plinkett reviews immensely, it's easy to analyze a film that's already been out for years and analyzed incessantly online beforehand.  The Plinkett reviews basically said this:

1) George Lucas can't direct.
2) George Lucas can't write.
3) He should have let more creative people handle his idea better, vs. everyone bowing in homage to him.

Right now, what they need is someone who knows the SW universe, both canon and expanded, and can try to fuse something that combines classic, modern, game and novelized SW content.  It can work, because it has for some of the comic book films.  They need the same formula as Episode IV, an ensemble cast that covers the gamut from Jedi to Smuggler, Bounty Hunter to Sith, without pandering to the audience.  Plinkett's reviews demonstrated how much the film suffers from the lack of prose in the story and "action" from the actors.  Think if Sir Alec Guiness had to do the role in green screen, with hamfisted dialog of the sort given to Dooku.

I don't know if I want to see the further adventures of Vader, Luke, Han or Yoda.  These characters have had their time in the sun, especially in the EU novels, and their legacies have already been well established to many core fans. I don't see the need to trod on their graves, despite whether I feel a Thrawn storyline from Zhan's trilogy would be cool.

I try to think of it in terms of Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson; both created game systems that became very popular, built from scratch out of their respective basements, but lost direction once the product became incorporated.  Other authors improved and expanded on what they did, but the owning companies eventually drove it into the ground, creating schisms among the purists while at the same time appealing in other ways to a new generation of fans.

There will never be an Episode VII to satisfy all the fans, and the sooner people accept that, the better off things will be.

I will say the Maul/Savage/Sidious battle from the Clone Wars series the other night was probably the most entertaining 20 minutes of animation I've seen in a long time.  The thing that makes Palpatine so deliciously evil is that he knows he's a bad-ass, and he just plays with everyone to show them why.  It's a huge game, he knows he can finish the battle in a moment, but he decides to just have fun. His overconfidence is his weakness, but he compensates by being ungodly powerful and diabolical in all the other areas.
 
2013-02-06 01:16:47 PM  
...corporate scenario that doesn't involve Boba Fett getting a whole film of his own, probably ending with him taking the job to capture Han Solo.
I'm trying to imagine this movie not sucking completely and I can't. Search your feelings. You know Hollywood will blow this one.

I'd be down with more adventures of Biggs Darklighter. And maybe Kit Fisto could get his own movie, and his own catchphrase: "You've been Fisto'ed!"
Hollywood Exec: "Who the fark is Bozz Skaggslighter? I like the Fisto'ed line. Call Abrahms. Put that in the Bobby Fett movie!"

I watch most of the crap Hollywood puts out, but rarely right away. And I'm way past getting 'hyped' about it.
Still haven't seen the Avengers or the Hobbit. Not trying to be hipster-douche cool. I just have a job now & can't care that much anymore. I'm not angry or disappointed in Hollywood anymore either.

/disappointed idealist
 
2013-02-06 01:32:14 PM  
Once again, Bill Murray proves surprising prescient: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53DQgbj2mIc
 
2013-02-06 01:52:31 PM  

trickymoo: Dissociater: I'd like to see two mirroring movies:  The first could be the Yoda movie and basically how he survives during the Jedi Purge after Episode 3.  There's a lot of potential story here.  Vader obviously knows about Yoda having been trained partially by him, and would know that he's alive.  So part of the story here is Yoda trying to make things safe for Luke/Leia, and avoiding Darth, and perhaps trying to save other jedi who got away.  This could be like the movie The Warriors, as Yoda and one or two other jedi try to get from point a to point b without being caught and killed, and perhaps on the way helping plant the seeds of rebellion.

Won't see unless they get a puppet out there. This back-flipping CG Yoda gave me a big softy. Yoda is not the Nefarious Dr. Wu.


I don't know why they didn't have yoda do his sword fighting with his eyes closed and the lightsaber being totally controlled by force telekinesis.  It seems so obvious, and would make way more sense.
 
2013-02-06 01:57:30 PM  

Dissociater: I don't know why they didn't have yoda do his sword fighting with his eyes closed and the lightsaber being totally controlled by force telekinesis. It seems so obvious, and would make way more sense.


Because Lucas wanted to show people, for the first time, Yoda fighting and spinning around with his "little laser sword".

That's what he thought the character was missing.
 
2013-02-06 02:49:58 PM  

born_yesterday: Dissociater: I don't know why they didn't have yoda do his sword fighting with his eyes closed and the lightsaber being totally controlled by force telekinesis. It seems so obvious, and would make way more sense.

Because Lucas wanted to show people, for the first time, Yoda fighting and spinning around with his "little laser sword".

That's what he thought the character was missing.


I always thought that Yoda was weakly until he needed to fight. When needing too, he can use the force and empower himself to the form of a younger person to fight. A form of temporary Force Healing. Kind of a Force Adrenaline Rush
 
2013-02-06 02:58:28 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: Mandalorian Wars would be an excellent idea.  Fans seem to love Mandalorians.  It will have action; war in a franchise titled "Star Wars" is a given.  It has pompous Jedi being pompous, spawning kick-butt maverick Jedi, and Jedi butt-kicking when they're not being pompous.

KOTOR/TOR, they've already explored.  We don't need an in-depth depiction of a 2-week kinrath spider killing spree, or days of wandering around Manaan.  That and I don't have faith in anyone making a decent adaption from a BW video game (they're half-movie anyway, and that's a good thing).


I'm of the opinion that a video game will never make a decent movie, because the # of hours of game play required to make it a good game, both include too much material to fit into a movie and no very clear story arc succinct for a single plot.  This is why I believe wholeheartedly that if the Old Republic games get any sort of live action treatment it MUST be in an ongoing TV show.  That gives 10 - 16 episodes a season to develop characters, and do mini-plots each episode, adding to the overarching plot for the series.

1st season - Revan wakes up.  The flashbacks would make it very clear to the audience who Revan is from the beginning, with the tension coming from how he will cope when he finds out. The season ends with the Revan reveal.

2nd season - Finish up the 1st game / work on the post game stuff and send Rev out to Sith space while the Exile shows up at the end.  All the flashbacks to the Mandalorian wars will make it very clear who the Exile is, already.  So the audience is already happy to follow her.

3rd Season - Follow the exile around, Revan deals with the Sith (eventually getting captured), Carth and Bastila still have lots of screen time due to their pulling the strings in the Republic's politics.  Season ends with the death of the masters.

4th season - Exile chases Kreia to Malachor V, Revan begins his talks with Lord Scourge.  After the triumvirate are put down, Exile heads to Sith territory to find Revan and finishes the series with the final battle with the Sith Emperor.

Of course, NONE of this works without fantastic characterizations of Revan and the Exile and some excellent scripts.  And since Revan and the Exile are player characters it means that it's going to be hard for fans to really accept someone else's interpretations of those characters.  In my own mind I see Revan as a brilliant, perceptive with a somewhat ominous darkness about him that comes across as creepiness at times.  The Exile I see as someone who started out on the right path and always has a good heart, but is tired, and more than a little crazy.  My favorite portrayal of her isn't as a goody two shoes Jedi, but rather a VERY gray former Jedi who would rather sleep with mercenaries she encounters than kill them... but like I said, I'll watch whatever they come up with, I'm sure.

/put waaaaaay too much thought into this over the years...
 
2013-02-06 03:25:01 PM  
Mara Jade as a Dark Jedi would be a good movie or two, then some of the adventures of the new jedi.  A number of the novels would make decent to good movies as well.
 
2013-02-06 04:15:57 PM  

karmachameleon: Vader and Tarkin...you guys realize that Vader in the original trilogy was basically a powerful henchman, right?  He wasn't a commander or a bureaucrat, he wasn't there to "run things".  He was enforcement.  Tarkin was in charge, and when he was disposed of, Vader was probably put in place as the new boss because he was Tarkin's right-hand man.  But even other commanders in the original Star Wars talked back to Vader (with consequences, but they did talk back).  "I find your lack of faith disturbing."  This is the most obvious, common-sense way to glean things from the original trilogy.

Red Letter Media got this one right, when he talked about how the prequel trilogy messed up this dynamic by making Vader larger than life, a "Jesus In Space" type of figure.  It was a huge miscalculation on Lucas' part.  Vader was much more menacing and mysterious as the resident bad-ass enforcer he was in the original trilogy.  By turning him into some kind of mythical god-like creature in the prequel trilogy, the center of all proceedings, much of that mystique was removed, and replaced by something a lot less intriguing.

A good way to fix this (if anyone at Disney cares to) would be to not cover periods after Return of the Jedi or before the prequels; instead cover the 20 years between Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars.  You could work on the Vader character and turn him back to the battle-hardened enforcer he was in the original trilogy, and would have none of the weight of having to represent any other original trilogy character - Luke is a baby/boy/teenager and his life up to Star Wars is uneventful, Obi-Wan and Yoda are in hiding and their lives are also uneventful, Han Solo and Chewbacca are off on some other unrelated adventures, and Leia doesn't figure in things until Star Wars.  As the Empire swallows more and more systems during construction of the first Death Star (which seems to take about 20 years), there must be a lot of action and intrigue to explore there.


Tarkin was a Grand Moff, in charge of multiple sectors of space. He reported ONLY to Emperor Palpatine. On the chain of command, it went Palpatine -> Tarkin -> Vader. When Tarkin was killed, no one else was eligible to become a Grand Moff, so Vader became the second-on-command of the Empire.

Tarkin was the first and only Grand Moff in the Empire's history, fun fact.
 
2013-02-06 04:21:24 PM  

HallsOfMandos: Tyrone Slothrop: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

I saw the last one because I was curious about how Lucas would handle the creation of Vader (terribly, of course). I never saw Clones because I've never heard a single good thing about it.

/except maybe Natalie Portman's midriff.
//no interest in Star Wars: the Money Grab

Worth the price of admission it was.


Natalie Portman's midriff (and erect nipples in Episode II) and Hayden Christensen's naked torso were the best parts of the prequel trilogy.

i64.photobucket.com

/wouldn't mind feeling his hate swelling in me now
 
2013-02-06 04:36:28 PM  
We just decided not to green any links confirming the Boba Fett and Han Solo stand-alone films? I wanted to read everyone's amusing comments on the subject here at work. Then watch the rest of Fark talk about how terrible Star Wars is now.

/with at least one posting of the RLM Star Wars review...
//I guess I can already kind of guess how that thread is going to turn out
 
2013-02-06 04:47:25 PM  
just watched the latest 'clone wars' episode from this weekend
all i can say


goddambadass!!!

love the story line now - as opposed to the 3 or 4 wasted episodes revolving around r2 and the other droids

how on earth that can even be the same show i don't even know (though they did have the clone commando, which was just freaking sweet to see - hope he made it out)

dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress

mind. blown.

/was that a VibroBlade that Maul took from the mandolorian ? (the black sword that was sort of electric) cause it was uber cool

/what is with the auto double space on fark now? me no likey
 
2013-02-06 05:16:33 PM  

inner ted: dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress


Where can I see this?
Cartoon Network have onDemand?
 
2013-02-06 05:36:55 PM  

bionicjoe: inner ted: dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress

Where can I see this?
Cartoon Network have onDemand?


i think they go to dvd a few months after each season
or i suppose you could youtube it??

whatever the cost, these last couple episodes are totally worth it

shiat - this last episode was better than 90% of all 6 movies

/still not sure about the blade - ooo google, how you amaze
/gatdam that's a big pic - behold... the DARKSABER
F YA
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-02-06 05:47:42 PM  

bionicjoe: inner ted: dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress

Where can I see this?
Cartoon Network have onDemand?


Isn't it on Netflix?
 
2013-02-06 06:37:59 PM  

bionicjoe: inner ted: dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress

Where can I see this?
Cartoon Network have onDemand?


http://starwars.com/watch /the-clone-wars/
 
2013-02-06 07:55:43 PM  

Angry Buddha: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: fusillade762: KarmicDisaster: Don't care any more. Never even saw the last movie.

Give us a Culture movie!

YES!
/You have a good memory.

Nah, I have you Farkied as a Banks fan. I like to keep track of my fellow sci-fi enthusiasts :)

Read that as "Binks fan" (as in Jar-Jar) and thought "wow, meanest Farkie ever".


That would be mean. Fortunately anyone who claimed to be a Jar-Jar Binks fan would go straight to ignore ;)
 
2013-02-06 08:00:16 PM  

dragonchild: How about, after six farking movies, we say the canon characters are played out and we realize that the appeal to Star Wars isn't the story but the world?  We have an entire galaxy to play with.  There are potentially thousands of compelling stories that could be told where the most famous characters make only a cameo at best, and preferably don't appear at all.  Which of course is the one thing that will never happen with the movies.


Agreed on all points (your points about Vader also) - good post.
 
2013-02-06 08:10:01 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-02-06 10:15:50 PM  

inner ted: bionicjoe: inner ted: dudes loosing their heads, flying mandolorians blowing up into walls - goddam emperor dueling darth maul and ho-slapping savage opress

Where can I see this?
Cartoon Network have onDemand?

i think they go to dvd a few months after each season
or i suppose you could youtube it??

whatever the cost, these last couple episodes are totally worth it

shiat - this last episode was better than 90% of all 6 movies

/still not sure about the blade - ooo google, how you amaze
/gatdam that's a big pic - behold... the DARKSABER
F YA
[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x728]


I like this.  The wrist-band thingies are definitely Vader-riffic. 
To be honest what I've seen of the Cartoon Network thing I've liked. I also have a Star Wars Monopoly game that is based off the series that I like. 
And by that I mean, it feature the orange Jedi girl with the white-blue striped hair/tentacles/whatevs.
 
2013-02-06 11:42:31 PM  

karmachameleon: dragonchild: How about, after six farking movies, we say the canon characters are played out and we realize that the appeal to Star Wars isn't the story but the world?  We have an entire galaxy to play with.  There are potentially thousands of compelling stories that could be told where the most famous characters make only a cameo at best, and preferably don't appear at all.  Which of course is the one thing that will never happen with the movies.

Agreed on all points (your points about Vader also) - good post.


Agreed as well. Star Wars beat Star Trek for me as a kid because of the entire galaxy with all kinds of cultures that was the background.

Dear Star Wars writers: we have had enough of Tatooine. And really, anything with the original characters. Their story is told. I think the prequels sucked because of trying to shoehorn everyone in.
 
2013-02-07 07:12:20 AM  

NotEric: Screw all that, I just want to play the Star Wars pinball tables.

farm9.staticflickr.com


Holy hell yes... ZEN studios means it's for FX2 right? RIGHT?
/goes to check

Oh my, yes

http://youtu.be/tISJVyZl2GE
 
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